Bad movie description


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Sovereign Court

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Describe a movie in such a way that it is really difficult to guess what would it be, but that it actually makes sense. And leave the answer in the spoiler tag.

Here is mine.

Two orphan boys get into a fight, brought abut by the third orphan boy, they resolve their differences, and punish the third orphan boy.

Spoiler:
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Scarab Sages

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Invaders settle in a land they believe to be unoccupied, but it turns out that the land's original inhabitants are still there, and when they find they cannot persuade the invaders to leave, they enlist a dangerous mercenary force in a desperate gambit to reclaim their home.

Spoiler:
Beetlejuice


4 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

A bunch of stuff happens, Kevin Costner shows his bum, and then a bunch more stuff happens.

:
Explosive Runes!!!


2 people marked this as a favorite.

Guy has s%$#ty life because of a bunch of hippies. Guy finds the hippies and kills them.

Spoiler:
Conan the barbarian


A spoiled brat of a son, runs away from home after an accident. He returns home thanks to the help of nutty mystic and his girlfriend.

Spoiler::
The Lion King

Scarab Sages

1 person marked this as a favorite.

It all starts with an acid trip, which starts off weird and abstract but then becomes more vivid and psychedelic with dancing flowers and fairies and crystals and stuff, then an old man saves a mouse from drowning, then dinosaurs show up and fight each other for a while before they all die, then a really really thin character does a crazy dance number, then some Bronies and their friends get caught in a storm, then there's a bit with a zoo that keeps really strict hours, and finally the Devil shows up and throws a crazy party for all his friends, until a bunch of annoying church people tell him to knock it off.

Spoiler:
Fantasia

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Companion, Modules, Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Roleplaying Guild, Tales Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber
I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:

It all starts with an acid trip, which starts off weird and abstract but then becomes more vivid and psychedelic with dancing flowers and fairies and crystals and stuff, then an old man saves a mouse from drowning, then dinosaurs show up and fight each other for a while before they all die, then a really really thin character does a crazy dance number, then some Bronies and their friends get caught in a storm, then there's scene with a zoo that keeps really strict hours, and finally the Devil shows up and throws a crazy party for all his friends, until a bunch of annoying church people tell him to knock it off.

** spoiler omitted **

I wasn't even going to guess until I saw the last line :3


A man likes to fight, sing, and avoid sleeping with women. After the death of his fowl, he feels he can no longer fight. One day he's forced to fight, but runs away. He then communes with his dead fowl, thereby giving him the will power to win the fight!

Spoiler:
Top Gun


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Tim Curry is in it, he swears, a lot, and gets stabbed.

:
not Days of Thunder.


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Brad Pitt cuts his hair and saves the world by contracting syphilis.

:
Legends Of The Fall

Brad Pitt doesn't age well, has marital issues and ultimately gets into it with a bear.

:
World War Z

Sovereign Court

1 person marked this as a favorite.

A senior citizen loses a friend and teams up with a woman he does not trust to save a second friend, all the while hunted by a bunch of people he pissed off in his youth.

Spoiler:
Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Scarab Sages

A shifty immigrant from a distant country runs an illegal casino, drinks a lot, fraternizes with murderers, engages in human trafficking, tempts a married woman, insults soldiers, threatens people with a gun, and finally murders an official from the most well-ordered government the country has seen in a long time; a corrupt cop lets him off, and the two of them go off to join a terrorist network.

Spoiler:
Casablanca


An old fat guy lives in the sky, with a bunch of kids from all over the world. He feeds them only "candy". Once every year he leaves this sky fortress and descends to earth where he gives a bunch of other kids "candy". the old fat guy ends up trapped in mexico city, where Satan has laid a trap for him, so he fights off the devil and makes a break for it.

Spoiler:


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Guy gets the job of getting into a tribe of natives. He does and finds a girl to love among them. Eventually the tribe trusts him and his employers come to despoil tribe lands. The guy has to fight off his former friends to save the tribe, and does.

Spoiler:

Dances with Wolves
Avatar
Pocahontas
Dune
The Last Samurai

Admittedly not all of these qualify as bad movies.

Scarab Sages

Boobies! Spies! Rocket-ships! Guns! Kids playing with dolls! A bearded guy in a sled! An angel! A mime! A qedeshot! Eye-patches! Torture chambers! Secret words! Secret rooms! Budgerigars! Science! Ultra-complicated sex toys! Evil ooze! The collapse of a civilization! Forgiving and forgetting! YAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!

Spoiler:
Barbarella


A man is shot, but he is brought back from the edge of death as a servant. He has only fleeting memories of his past life. While working for the organization that spared his life, he learns that it is corrupt. As he struggles to do the right thing, he is branded a rogue and hunted down. With the help of a friend he learns who he was. Then, through sheer badassery he stands up to the corrupt and evil in the world.

Spoiler:
Robocop


3 people marked this as a favorite.

A young Californian boy helps an undocumented immigrant escape federal custody.

Spoiler:
E.T.


Man comes back from space, horribly disfigured, oatmeal splattered across his face. He escapes from government confinement, still with oatmeal splattered across his face. He terrorizes everyone he meets, as they die from the horror of being killed by a man with oatmeal splattered across his face, so he is hunted down by a guy who quite literally plays one character in the first part of the movie, and a second character in the second half. A phone rings really loud to alert our "hero" where the man with oatmeal splattered across his face is, our hero rushes in to find that the man WITH OATMEAL SPLATTERED ACROSS HIS FACE has become non-existent in some poorly explained cosmic event.

Spoiler:
Monster a-go-go
...
...
...
Actually that was a pretty good description of the entirety of that film...

The Exchange

Rich guy is tricked into working for free as a farmer.

Spoiler:
12 Years a Slave


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Recess in the space.

Spoiler:
Guardians of the Galaxy


captain yesterday wrote:

A bunch of stuff happens, Kevin Costner shows his bum, and then a bunch more stuff happens.

** spoiler omitted **

-_-


A man's son and daughter (who have deep feelings for each other) team up to fight the father when all he wants is for his son to come and work with him (never mind that he tried to torture his own daughter). This all happens while working with a menagerie of different species.

It's Star Wars, isn't it?:
Yes, it's Star Wars.


3 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting Subscriber

Just before she's captured by an evil tyrant, a princess sends out a valuable secret that's intercepted by a farm boy. When agents of the tyrant search for it and kill the farm boy's aunt and uncle (with whom he lives), the farm boy runs off to seek out help from a hermit, who turns out to be a former wizard and hero of the realm. The wizard takes the farm boy under his wing to teach him magic, and then the two (plus their sidekick) hire passage on a cocky smuggler's ship to bring the secret to the hidden base of the rebels fighting the tyrant. But they're captured by the tyrant's forces and taken to the same stronghold where the princess is being held. They stage a daring escape, eventually getting to the rebel base together. Explotiing the secret, the rebels plan an assault on the tyrant's stronghold, ansd it's revealed that the farm boy is an amazing pilot, who leads the rebel forces on the attack. In a climactic three-dimensional battle scene, the rebels destroy the tyrant's stronghold, but the tyrant still has many forces in reserve... setting up the film's ineveitable sequel.

That's totally Star Wars! Right?:
You'd think so, but it's Eragon.


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting Subscriber
I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:

Boobies! Spies! Rocket-ships! Guns! Kids playing with dolls! A bearded guy in a sled! An angel! A mime! A qedeshot! Eye-patches! Torture chambers! Secret words! Secret rooms! Budgerigars! Science! Ultra-complicated sex toys! Evil ooze! The collapse of a civilization! Forgiving and forgetting! YAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!

Spoiler:
Barbarella

...and there aren't nearly as many boobies as one would expect in such a fim.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

A man and his daughter receive a surprise invitation to visit the opulent estate of a potential foreign employer.

Arriving at the estate, the father reconnects with an old acquaintance and they blow off some steam together.

Spoiler:
Commando

Scarab Sages

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Johnny Depp spends the whole movie drinking, smoking, and screwing...but what really damns him is his love for books.

Spoiler:
The Ninth Gate


1 person marked this as a favorite.

(Good movie!)

Emotionally troubled one percenter distracts himself with technology and the serial assault of poor people and the mentally infirm.

Spoiler:
I think you know...

Scarab Sages

1 person marked this as a favorite.
GoatToucher wrote:

(Good movie!)

I only just heard about it - and saw it - a few days ago.

GoatToucher wrote:

(Good movie!)

Emotionally troubled one percenter distracts himself with technology and the serial assault of poor people and the mentally infirm.

** spoiler omitted **

Ummmm...Hamlet?


I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:


GoatToucher wrote:

(Good movie!)

Emotionally troubled one percenter distracts himself with technology and the serial assault of poor people and the mentally infirm.

Ummmm...Hamlet?

Well, in the (excellent) Branagh film version he is indeed fascinated by clockwork and a tiny train, in the text he only strays from his obsessions for the sake of his fencing practice (which is at least tangentially related to his obsession).

And he only kills upper class people of sound mental health. Sure he drives a woman to madness, but the only one that does her any violence is herself.

Ahem:

Three couples wander into the woods and reemerge married to different partners. Nearby, a man gives a tour de force performance as masonry.

Elsewhere, bestiality is heavily implied.

Spoiler:
a Midsummer Night's dream


A woman in an abusive relationship tries to avoid her abuser. As she leaves, she is then abducted by a different man. She then enters into another abusive relationship with this new man. As the relationship continues, she starts to question her own reality as she begins to talk to inanimate objects about why she loves this kind of relationship.

Spoiler:
Sing it with me: ♬ Beauty and the Beast ♬

Scarab Sages

Pathfinder Campaign Setting, Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Roleplaying Guild Subscriber

A criminal is released from jail, assembles a crew to rob a casino, and gets caught, and is thrown back in jail. When he is released he has to live in hiding.

Spoiler:
Ocean's 11


1 person marked this as a favorite.

An old man brainwashes an entire country into hating a child.

Spoiler:
Wreck-It Ralph

Sovereign Court

Imbicatus wrote:

A criminal is released from jail, assembles a crew to rob a casino, and gets caught, and is thrown back in jail. When he is released he has to live in hiding.

** spoiler omitted **

Point is to badly describe it. So that people have difficulty to guess.


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting Subscriber

A policeman goes on a spree of raping and/or killing members of a hated minority group... until one of his victims succumbs to Stockholm syndrome and takes his side. Now hunted himself, the two run away together.

Spoiler:
Blade Runner


A woman nurses a man back to health after he suffers a terrible accident. With him in her bed, she confesses that she knows who he is and she has always liked him. She then helps him explore some emotional pain so that he can write a manuscript.

spoiler:
Misery

Scarab Sages

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Destruction and mayhem follow in the wake of an intelligent machine who will stop at nothing to hunt down a young man perceived to be a messianic figure.

Spoiler:
The Brave Little Toaster

Dark Archive

An orphan, after helping his buds with breaking and entering, is blamed for his adopted father's murder, hooks up with an upper-class chick, gets chased by a racer and cultists, and watches his brothers get murdered before discovering it was all just a really bad trip his uncle caused.

Spoiler:
Prince of Persia

Sovereign Court

Guy gets a really screwed up and elaborate birthday present, becomes better man.

Spoiler:
The Game

Scarab Sages

Robin Williams goes insane after being trapped in a small space for a long time.

Spoiler:
Aladdin...and Fern Gully...and Jumanji...and RV...and 1-Hour Photo....

Most oddly specialized typecasting ever.

Scarab Sages

Pathfinder Campaign Setting, Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Roleplaying Guild Subscriber
Hama wrote:


Point is to badly describe it. So that people have difficulty to guess.

I was trying to badly describe it :/.

Trying again...

A drifter goes insane and murders most of a small town, before eventually being stopped.

Spoiler:
First Blood

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Companion, Modules, Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Roleplaying Guild, Tales Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber
Imbicatus wrote:
Hama wrote:


Point is to badly describe it. So that people have difficulty to guess.

I was trying to badly describe it :/.

Trying again...

A drifter goes insane and murders most of a small town, before eventually being stopped.

** spoiler omitted **

... he doesn't murder anyone though O.O

Scarab Sages

Pathfinder Campaign Setting, Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Roleplaying Guild Subscriber
Rysky wrote:
Imbicatus wrote:
Hama wrote:


Point is to badly describe it. So that people have difficulty to guess.

I was trying to badly describe it :/.

Trying again...

A drifter goes insane and murders most of a small town, before eventually being stopped.

** spoiler omitted **

... he doesn't murder anyone though O.O

I remember him cutting though several deputies with a m60. Granted, it's been a while since I've seen it.

Oh well, double fail.

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Companion, Modules, Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Roleplaying Guild, Tales Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber
Imbicatus wrote:
Rysky wrote:
Imbicatus wrote:
Hama wrote:


Point is to badly describe it. So that people have difficulty to guess.

I was trying to badly describe it :/.

Trying again...

A drifter goes insane and murders most of a small town, before eventually being stopped.

** spoiler omitted **

... he doesn't murder anyone though O.O

I remember him cutting though several deputies with a m60. Granted, it's been a while since I've seen it.

Oh well, double fail.

*offers hugs*

He shot up the empty buildings with it, but he didn't use it to kill anyone.

Sovereign Court

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I think only one guy died, and that was because he slipped and fell.

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Companion, Modules, Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Roleplaying Guild, Tales Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber

Yep, that psychotic m%#!@#&%~+~* died all on his own dumbass fault.


4 people marked this as a favorite.

A woman wakes up after a traumatic injury, meets some old friends, and seeks out her ex, who has been taking care of their child. They have a sweet reunion.

Spoiler:
Kill Bill


Sissyl wrote:

A woman wakes up after a traumatic injury, meets some old friends, and seeks out her ex, who has been taking care of their child. They have a sweet reunion.

** spoiler omitted **

That one was good.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

After a chef kills a young boy's mother, he kills the chef and then begins to go mad, imagining that he is an animal.

Spoiler:
Life of Pi

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Companion, Modules, Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Roleplaying Guild, Tales Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber
JTD wrote:

After a chef kills a young boy's mother, he kills the chef and then begins to go mad, imagining that he is an animal.

** spoiler omitted **

Dood...


Going for 'badly describe a movie,' instead of describing a bad movie.

A troubled lonely man copes with his depression by creating an imaginary friend. The imaginary friend helps the man come out of his shell and become more brave and confident. The two make friends and go on wild adventures together. Eventually, the two work together with their new friends to free the world, but the young man is forced to leave behind his imaginary friend.

Spoiler:
Fight Club

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