Derail this thread!!


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I think he has a dungeonee, which is like a pair of dungarees only with a special pocket for your 10' pole and bullseye lantern, in degreeneering. Degreenering is a Special Material that will make you less green than anything else in the vicinity as a standard action, unless there isn't anything green in the vicinity, in which case it will release steam regularly at intervals of approximately one and a half minutes until empty. If there is no vicinity, environs or surroundings may be substituted upon payment of a four chicken surcharge, wind and tide permitting.


Yes, you now need a permit for wind and tide. Back in my day, we didn't need permits for anything. We'd just go out and do things and die. We liked it that way. But now you've got to get yourself to a municipality and beg them to let you do things that will kill you. If you ask me, and you're not asking, I'd say to heck with wind and tide permits. Just get a gas-powered skateboard, go ride the surf, and don't worry about anything.


It's just a flesh wound!

Horizon Hunters

*jetpacks through, zaps scorching holes in everybody in sight*


Glad I got my beard laser proofed years ago.


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OH!! so that's what the streaks are...


I like streaks on the BBQ. Nothing like a BBQ'd streak! With some Combslaw.


I hated Combs Law - worst Rolemaster supplement EVER. I mean, how many hair-styling charts do you actually need? Who cares if you score a critical success while readjusting a Balrog's fringe? What is the point of a +15 straightener?

Mind you, the bit where you could get mermaid hair by scalping a mermaid was pretty good.


A "plus fifteen" pointy straightener? You might as well just buy a sword. I just happen to have one and I'm the original owner.

It's called a display sword (no sharp edges) and it comes with the plaque. Um, not the kind of plaque that actually displays your sword on a wall. No, this is a the plaque that forms between your gums and teeth from your own slobber. Apparently, the original owner used to sleep with this sword and probably drooled on it a little bit. But you can buff that right off.

All yours for 150 Grommets (<-- the official currency of Planet Mothmen).


How may Grommets are there to a Wallace?

Scarab Sages

The answer to your question is: Pulg Should Not Rule This City, so I kill him in a manner befitting an action movie using the next poster's cheese (which the shop is completely devoid of)! *takes the Win*


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Hopefully, you'll be the last one to post on this thread - for the double trifecta!

<two minutes later...>

D'OH!

@Pulg * It's the cheese, Gromit!


By the time I have finished writing this post, an area of rainforest equal to a postage stamp sized football field, or vice versa, will have been destroyed in order to grow the multicoloured horns that are growing out of what we presume is IHIYC's head. We must find a sustainable alternative to Palm Oil Jesters immediately, or destruction will tap us on the shoulder and stare us in the face,, like this:

*tap*

STAAAAAAARE


Oooo. I remember that song from the See Gees: Staring Alive!

AH AH AH AH STARING ALIVE STARING ALIVE

AH AH AH AH STAAAAAARE (Yeah!)


Stop staring at me, it's creepy

Hey is that the pure extract of a mortal soul?


It's a bottle of Dr. Bronner's liquid soap, so the same thing, basically, unlike the Horned Death Carrot of the Mindspin Mountains, which is different.


A horned death carrot, can I have one? I need it to...A horned death carrot eating bunny, run


A horned death carrot is not the way to fix the fighter/magic user imbalance AND YOU KNOW IT!

Giving fighters pet killer bunnies just turns them into rangers.


Army Rangers or Power Rangers?

Scarab Sages

Vice-Presidential Action Rangers!!!


A president for vice is a very good idea indeed.

I'd enter the running, but I couldn't possibly compete with Goattoucher.

Do you repair Action Rangers at an Action Ranger Smith's?


I consider myself more of a Vice Prime Minister.


I consider you to be more of a Vice Optimus Prime.

'Hey, is that a 'robot in disguise', or are you just pleased to see me?'


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"Transfarmers, tractors in disguise!"


One of my grandmothers has a tractor. The normal ignition has been nonfunctional for as long as I remember, requiring us to hotwire it. The screwdriver used for this purpose has been dubbed the ignition key.

I have a weird family (myself included).


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I am quite tired, and initially read that first sentence as 'One of my grandmothers is a tractor'

That obviously isn't true for you, but it is for me. Isn't that right, Nana Massey-Ferguson?

Scarab Sages

*tries to kill Pulg with a forklift*

HAI-KEEBA!


I prefer Shish Kebabs over Hai Keebas but only on Tuesdays.

Scarab Sages

Would you, then, gladly pay me Tuesday for a shish kebab today?


I am well versed in all manner of "Shish-Kebabing".


You are
Also be wary of rope


Hemp, Manila, Polyethelyne, Alchemically treated Bloodvine, what kind of rope are we talking about?


I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:

*tries to kill Pulg with a forklift*

HAI-KEEBA!

That only works on MST3K and you know it!

Also, Spider silk rope tends to work the best.

Liberty's Edge

Starfinder Superscriber

Has anybody pointed out this yet?

LINK


I've just pointed at it.

I have also pointed at four pigeons, an empty bottle of Frosty Jack cider, my trousers, a 1997 Renault Clio with a 'Minotaurs Are Always Horny' bumper sticker, some dirt, The Three Degrees, and half a rhinoceros, although I'm not really sure of the difference between the last two.


Re'NAULT' or Re'NO'? Americans want to know the correct pronunciation. (so that we can screw it up on purpose!)


Cit-Ro-Ehn.


keen-WAH


Hail Eris!


I find it amusing that the body responsible for Pluto's demotion was named for the goddess of discord.

Scarab Sages

The Sideromancer wrote:
I find it amusing that the body responsible for Pluto's demotion was named for the goddess of discord.

That was no coincidence.


I find the chance of having a coincidence decreases with the probability of expecting it when you were least expecting it. Is it then a coincidence that "coincidence" rhymes with "diligence"?


It rhymes more better with 'Go, Mincey Tents!', but a tent made of mince would be rather impractical, as the rain would seep inbetween the strands of meat and make you all wet. A tent made of overlapping slices of ham would work better, so please bear that in mind. Speaking of bears, both variations on the theme of meat-based portable shelters would attract members of that species, which may or may not be a good thing, depending on your own particular tastes.


There is a barbeque called the Green Egg. Cook your ham on it and cook Green Egg with Ham.


Very good, very good hemp rope


Your experience with hemp rope must be different from mine. I've tried snorting it but 1) It's really hard to get the whole rope through your nostril without choking on it and 2) It goes in hemp rope and comes out hemp rope.

Not enjoyable. What am I doing wrong?

Scarab Sages

You are doing LOTS of things wrong. Lots of VERY BAD things:

- taking things without asking the owner's permission
- using grown-up tools without grown-up supervision
- tipping less than 15%
- not giving anything up for Lent
- et cetera!

You are a BAD, AWFUL PERSON, JTDV - you're almost as bad as the evil villain from CONAN: THE MUSICAL!!


I'm not bad, I'm a bat.

A wet bat.

Manta rays are like wet bats, aren't they?

I'm not a manta ray.


To the wet bat pole!


Sounds like a short movie.

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