Captain Yesterday's Guide To Skyrim Incompetence: Legendary Edition!


Video Games

401 to 450 of 854 << first < prev | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | next > last >>

I put Ralis down too. Partly from annoyance. Partly from the view that if he could get his mind controlled once, who is to say some other dragon priest won't manage it again?


In fairness, he did steal 12,000 from me.

If you're going to live in a feudal society, chances are you're going to die in one.

I know I've done my fair share of it. :-)


I totally devastated Deadman's Respite.

I wasn't subtle.

And I got to use my Draugr bomb ring... On traps.

I figure if I get one successful use out of it, it'll be worth it.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

I did it!

I made it to fortieth level! A personal best for Skyrim.

More importantly, because of the outstanding advice and stories shared here, I don't feel like I could be overwhelmed at any moment, and every fight is for life and death, depending on how many potions I have.

So thanks!

sprays Skyrim with champagne.

Who hoo!!!!

Oh yes, Silverdrift's Lair is sacked! Draugr Death Deathlord and his buddy Draugr Deathlord were both handily defeated by Stormy and I.


Glad to hear, I've been enjoying your rampage so far, it's a lot of fun to read.

For my part Fauzzie is prouving to be a bit of a challenge. Main goal is avoiding as much combat as possible. If possible let other things do the killing. Like shooting an arrow down a hallway of scyth blades and watching the drauger go take a look. I get a kick out of that.

Main issue is when a fight ends up being unavoidable. Fauzzie be a fragile kitty and mildly incompetant at fighting fairly.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

I am glad you are having fun, Captain. I know that I have enjoyed Skyrim a lot myself.


I've been burning through the words of power quests, and I still have 5 souls left over from stash I got off Muzak (which was 11).


I too enjoy hearing of your exploits, captain. Congrats on getting to 40. I'm waiting to hear what happens when you run into revered and legendary dragons....


I already ran into a Revered Dragon!

As I was going to Deadman's Respite but I used my bend will shout on it and I made a run for Deadman's Respite.

And then again when I came out of Deadman's Respite (it turns out they'll wait for you).

Poor fire breathing schmuck didn't realize I was 90% resistant to fire. Still, I kept summoning shit for it to pick on while I kept my distance and slowly whittled it down with my bow.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Better than I did with my first. I didn't know what it was and it hit me while I was at Riverwood. Fried me good because I didn't realize I was getting drained.


To be fair, I kept putting off Deadman's Respite because I kept getting mauled by an Elder Dragon on the way.

But enough time had passed that I had forgotten that. :-)

Also having my summoning skill up to 78 helped, summoning Stormy at half the magic is a beautiful thing. :-)


Pathfinder Rulebook Subscriber

You running any mods? Sophia is hilarious.


So, I went looking for the assassin, to lay some smackdown on it. Guess what? Instead of the stealth-type assassin that killed me before, I get a mage this time. The result? I died, again. I swear, if I find out who's sending these F****rs after me, I'll kill him. Then I'll raise his sorry carcass as a Zombie, just for the pleasure of watching him turn into a pile of ash.

Edit: Should've fought the mage from cover. D'oh


Too late in the day to do anything about it. Got to get ready for work soon.

Edit: Should've used the bow, also. Double D'oh.


Yeah, the house isn't going to clean itself.

Still trying to get it back to how it was before the flu.


John Napier 698 wrote:

So, I went looking for the assassin, to lay some smackdown on it. Guess what? Instead of the stealth-type assassin that killed me before, I get a mage this time. The result? I died, again. I swear, if I find out who's sending these F****rs after me, I'll kill him. Then I'll raise his sorry carcass as a Zombie, just for the pleasure of watching him turn into a pile of ash.

Edit: Should've fought the mage from cover. D'oh

Have you considered following Brannigan's Law.

There isn't a fight that can't be defeated by using the element of surprise and wave after wave of sacrificial minions.


Have you any advice?


Kryzbyn wrote:
You running any mods? Sophia is hilarious.

So I've heard. Only reason I don't run Sophia is because I'm loyal to Serana. I had a post answering a question from Sharoth earlier in the thread about mods that gives an idea what I had at the time.


It has taken much time and walking but Fauzzie has sold his rock to the wizard in Whiterun.

Now they ask me to fight a dragon.

They are mad, have they not seen such things. They are huge with mouths full of teeth and breath fire.

Fauzzie hides in the tower until the Dragon looks badly injured and then I finished it off.

I am now Great Hero

only they expect me to fight more of these as well as go talk to old men on high mountain.

I have told them yes but instead I am going West, let them find some other mad man to commit suicide fighting giant lizards.

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber

My favorite Mod companions right now are Clucky the Chicken and Juliet the Rabbit. The bunny is a great for stealthy characters because enemies never see her. The chicken doesn't do much damage with his beak, but he likes to fight, draws aggro, seemingly has infinite hit points and can carry, like, a thousand pounds of loot.


I find out there's a word in Iron Something or Other Barrow.

Turns out there was people waiting for me to loot it. They must've been waiting for awhile because I did not recognize them, at all.

Short story short, after fighting another flying ghost, Been wa (balls) decides I'm just who he needs to sacrifice to tie it all together (big surprise!).

Ugh! It's high school all over again!

At this point I'll be shocked if someone doesn't try to murder me after helping them.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

This day Fauzzie encountered a dog. He is a stray like me. Together we walked the land. We hunted, we found quiet places to rest, we ate off the land. Never has Fauzzie felt so content with his life.

But my poor brave dog....When the Saber Cat came for me, the dog, he leaps to my defense.. the poor beast never stood a chance.

Never again....Never again will Fauzzie allow another to share his life....the grief.... it is too great.

To consoul myself, Fauzzie found a cave full of bandits and murdered them all, I use the Fury spell to make their leader murder his own men, then slept in their leaders bed after wiping his blood of my blade.

Fauzzie cried himself to sleep this night.


Batshit crazy dude told me I should read the black book at the giant mushroom tower in Shilmista.

I'm gonna do it.


The steward is dead. So now I gotta deal with that bullshit.

Elf dude being a total diva a#!+%@~ piece of shit isn't going to help anything I suspect.

At least he told me where Harmonious Rye stashed one of his black books.

Which is apparently in a cave infested with pathfinder goblins... I mean Riekings, or whatever they call themselves.


I can also summon Ash Guardians.

A smarter person would take the time to excavate some heartstone to keep them in line.

I just summon them and run away.


You'll find that the mushroom wizard has a variety of quests. He'll also eventually let you make staves. If you need spells or soul gems, him and his apprentice usually have some for sale as well.

None of this makes dealing with him easier.


Fauzzir has sold his bandit goods and now has much coin. Once more I head west. The land is pleasant, I meet hunters and farmers (whom I pick pocket) I avoid bandits and stumble across corpses.

several corpses

as I loot them I see a shadow from the ledge above me move. It is too late to run, the Saber cat is on me.

***
It was a nice moment in game too. Here I am picking a coin purse off the ground. I see part of the shadow of the ledge just pull away and hear the growl. Tried to run, didn't make it. Restart from last auto save at Whiterun


2 people marked this as a favorite.

Fauzzie has turned to bandit hunting in order to make monies. And by hunting I mean Sneaking around and casting Fury until only one or two guys are left.

It's very amusing

On collecting his payments Fauzzie laughs at the idea of renting a room at the inn. Bah I know an empty bandit cave with beds that I can reach before dark.

<while walking across the grasslands Fuazzie watches a Dragon dig itself out of the ground and take to the air>

On the other hand a comfortable bed for only a handful of coins is often well worth it.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Greylurker, when I read about Fauzzie, I allways hear it in this voice.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Then my Narration style is working


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Played some Skyrim yesterday, looking for the assassin. The mage that I thought was an assassin, wasn't. How do I know? Because, now, I'm being attacked by Imperials. So, now I'm being dragged into their stupid Civil War. I'm about to tackle Bleak Falls Barrow, so I haven't got time for this. F**k the civil war. I'm going to do my own thing, and I'll deal with anyone who wants to cross swords with me, until they stop coming. And, the assassin? She found me, and I killed her. She is now a pile of ash. Take that, Dark brotherhood. *the finger*


1 person marked this as a favorite.

I found a spell book to summon Seekers.

But I don't know why I'd want to summon them when I can summon Storm Atronachs and just unlocked the kick ass Atronach perk.


Skyrim Rampage Cap'n Yesterday wrote:

I found a spell book to summon Seekers.

But I don't know why I'd want to summon them when I can summon Storm Atronachs and just unlocked the kick ass Atronach perk.

For variety, I suppose. I don't remember which spell is the higher of the two in skill. I prefer my Wrathman personally, but that's just because I like sending one unliving abomination after all the rest when in draugyr-filled barrows.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

The way the Thalmor fight, to Fauzzie it is sickening. I watch from a safe distance as they surround a group of these Stomercloaks, like a pack of wolves they push them to the center and then all three use fire magic to burn them to death. Fauzzie is too far he can do nothing to save these men...but...from a distance (and safely behind bushes) Fauzzie can cast Fury.

When only one is left Fauzzie slips behind him and uses his Axe, a gift from Whiterun.

Many bodies to loot, so much Fauzzie has difficulty walking...must leave great axes behind.

And so I set north for a place to sell my goods. A Mountain pass is near so I go for that....not a great choice.

Dragon

flying above the mountain, Fauzzie sees a cave and runs, is safe now yes

no
cave has Ice troll, so Fauzzie must be careful and silent. He emerges on the other side of the mountains and

THE DRAGON is Right above him....Run back to the cave!!!

Dragon ahead Troll behind...Not Fauzzie's best day.

Careful sneak from the cave, avoid the path where the dragon will see. Instead we climb jagged rocks and slowly, slowly down the mountain.

Safe and before night falls Fauzzie finds himself in Solitude

Just in time to watch them kill a poor fellow. I shall sell my goods in the morning, for now we sleep at the in. Fauzzie's heart is delicate and needs comfort to recover.


My warrior-assassin turned mage has gone walkabout, scouring the holds as a bounty hunter. Some jarls understand the changed nature of the world and want dragons to stop attacking their people. Others still want bandits taken care of. The dragons have turned spiteful. The jarl of Windhelm sent me to deal with a giant. Upon arrival, I find a dragon trying to kill my bounty for me. The jarl of Markarth sent me dragon hunting. My mark brought a friend. Two skeletons now lie upon the mountain.

What do you expect when my conjurer uses as a staff a rather heavily weighted dragon femur that weighs over twenty pounds? Who needs defense when you can slam your warha-, staff, into the skulls of dragons?


To answer my own question, yes, my mage still needs defense. Put the notice board mod into play. Found a couple mercs staring at an entry, offered to help them. Went off to one of those new bandit camps. I'd already cleared it once. Seems they'd reinfested it. In double the numbers. Got cut up four times, level 73 and all, by double numbers of bandit berserkers and blademasters. Even calling up my Reality Marble wasn't enough.

Got mad. Went to the Batcave (Lakeview). Got down the dragonscale goodies. Tried again. If it moved, I hit it and it died. If it hit me, I didn't notice.

Turns out that I forgot to take my vampire circlet to the forge to upgrade its armor value. Now I'm back to "I can't feel your hits".

Also found my first legendary dragon this game. Got a dragon bounty from the same board. It was at my favorite spot, Ancient's Ascent. Snuck up on it, shot at it. Woke it up, got mad I'd somehow missed (common there). Turns out it was legendary. Nice loot when it came down and got a dragon femur in the snout.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Fauzzie has sold his goods to the local smithy, but more interesting a man has a favor to ask of him.

The Executioner sees that Fauzzie is outsider and well travelled. He tells me of a Bandit that escaped him, yet he has told all this bandit is dead. He would have Fauzzie turn lies into truths.

This is a thing Fauzzie can do. Plus it always help to have favores from those who are paid to take your head.

Bandits is hiding in cave on the other side of the mountains. Difficult trip and made more so by Thalmor estate in the middle of my path but I have found the cave.

Fury is such a wonderful spell. Fauzzie greatly enjoys watching bandits do his work for him. Only their leader is left now and he enjoys his sleep.

He shall never wake again...oops spoke to soon, Fauzzie finds himself in desperate battle for life. Much running, drinking of potions, setting things on fire and explosions.

When it is ended Fauzzie find key to treasures and rewards himself for job well done....well job done at anyrate.


With the weather shitty and the field trips done with and work out of the way. I actually got to play for awhile today. :-)

Learned the summon the dark trader magic from the book I found in the totally not pathfinder goblins den.

And then when I left there, hoofing it across the mountains, what should I find? An elder dragon fighting three ice trolls and two werebears (which I had no idea were a thing!).

It turns out Werebears are huge a%~$+$$s, and they had to die.


I also built a garden patio this weekend, and some other general outside beautification and maintenance.


Pathfinder Rulebook Subscriber

ooh I've not seen werebears yet. Where was this?

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber

Werebears are a danger of Solstheim and good suppliers of Human Flesh and Ragged Trousers. Human Flesh is a great poison component that combines Paralysis and Damage Health. Ragged Trousers are a great way to show off a male Dragonborn's abs.


And they're huge a~~&!+&s.

On the plus side, I'll never have to set foot in another town ever again.


So how do I do the home building or home wrecking in my most likely scenario (I don't do well with video game relationships, just ask every girlfriend I had in GTA San Andreas).

Do I just pluck kids off the street? Can I use them to assume control of the thieves guild? What are the advantages of homeownership in Skyrim.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 16

2 people marked this as a favorite.

I've been playing Skyrim lately too, with firm rules to keep myself from turning into a Stealth Archer.

1: Never sneak.
2: Never use a bow.

I've just made Conjuration legendary, and mostly I summon Dremora Lords (they fit into places Atronarchs don't), summon a 2handed axe, and go to town. It's been a lot of fun.

I'm also using the Dovahbit mod to have a rabbit carry my burdens. Also it wears the helmets I give it and looks silly.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
captain yesterday wrote:

So how do I do the home building or home wrecking in my most likely scenario (I don't do well with video game relationships, just ask every girlfriend I had in GTA San Andreas).

Do I just pluck kids off the street? Can I use them to assume control of the thieves guild? What are the advantages of homeownership in Skyrim.

Step 1. Make sure your house has a children's bedroom

Step 2. Grab orphan child off the street
Step 3. Leave them with your House Carl to raise
Step 4. Occasionally show up when you are in town to give them a toy, new clothing, some money or a knife. Children love knives.

Congratulations you are now a Skyrim parent.

At least that is how my character did it when she was running all over the place with her Vampire friend.

Fauzzie has no children because Fauzzie has no home. He sleeps in the beds of bandits once he has finished killing them, and occasionally an Inn.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
captain yesterday wrote:

So how do I do the home building or home wrecking in my most likely scenario (I don't do well with video game relationships, just ask every girlfriend I had in GTA San Andreas).

Do I just pluck kids off the street? Can I use them to assume control of the thieves guild? What are the advantages of homeownership in Skyrim.

It depends on what you want to do. In the five main cities (Markarth, Whiterun, Windhelm, Solitude, Riften), you can just buy a place if you've made the jarl happy enough (becoming a thane's important here). When you do, his steward will sell you different housing packages (e.g. kitchens, bedrooms, alchemy set-ups, etc.). Nothing much to it.

In Falkreath, Dawnstar, and Morthal, the jarl just sells you a chunk of land. You go out to it, there's a workbench that you can use to design your house bit by bit. You'll find places to quarry stone and clay near each one. The logs can be got from any mill. Look around; you can find iron ore just up the driveway in Lakeview. You can build the main framework that way. Then, when you go inside, each room you chose has various things you can get with appropriate supplies. Hint: you'll want a lot of iron ingots.

In Raven Rock, after one specific quest, you inherit someone's house (they'll be too dead to need it).

In Winterhold, nothing. Go archmage or live at the inn.

For kids...there just there for something extra to do. You give them an allowance, they'll give you stuff at random based on the amount given.

Advantages of homeownership: they're safe (unless a bug happens). Things stored there don't vanish. Customizeable. I have one that's my crafting shop, one for "living", and one that's there just because of my Hearthfire homes. Having somewhere to store dragon bones and scales, daedra hearts, soul gems, and trophies is always nice.

Liberty's Edge

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber

If you're going to adopt, it's kind of hard to say no to Sofie, the orphan in Windhelm. She sleeps on a sheet of ice covering a stone tile at night and hustles flowers on the street all day to raise money for food. At least the orphan girl in Whiterun has some soft dirt to curl up on when she isn't begging for coins like some crusty street rat bumming cigarettes from tourists outside Pacific Place.

Your other options are the kids from the Riften Orphanage or a couple of boys working at the Solitude Stables and the Dawnstar Everywhere respectively. Seriously, the kid in Dawnstar has, like, 20 jobs he doesn't get paid for and sometimes (sometimes!) they let him sleep on the floor at the inn. You can usually find him running through town shouting for you to get out of his way.

As mentioned, you can give your kids daggers and wooden swords to play with. I like to enchant the weapons and coat them in poison before giving them to my kids. If your cellar is infested with skeevers, your heavily armed children might appear to help you kill them.

Sometimes, your kids will also bring home stray animals they want to keep or they'll ask to adopt your dog (if you have one.) So far, I've seen them adopt a bunny, a fox and a skeever. The pets won't leave your home, but the fox did help me and one of the kids kill the skeevers in the cellar.

A fun part of owning any of the steadings is the random encounters that can take place when you arrive home or leave your house. A giant might show up to kill your cow and chickens, bandits might try to rob your house or a dragon may attack you. If you leave your spouse alone at the house without a housecarl or steward to protect them, they might even get kidnapped and held for ransom.


Personally, the spouse getting kidnapped is the one thing I haven't seen happen in my playthroughs. I keep leaving the delicate blossom at home and no one comes to try and get a hefty ransom! I'm sitting on over 2 million in gold, I can afford it. My houses are fully built, beautiful structures. I make sure my stewards/housecarls have 'accidents'. Ok, I don't keep animals at any of them, because giants are probably the most common visitors. Still, is it too much to ask for just one kidnapping?


Got skeevers a few times the last game I played, interestingly, all in the house with adopted kids.

Haven't got a kidnapped spouse either, then again, when your spouse is a badass himself/herself...


2 people marked this as a favorite.

Fauzzie has become professional problem solver. You have problem with bandits Fauzzie solves, problem with pirates Fauzzie Solves. Little boy has problem with horrible old woman Fauzzie has agreed to solve.

Also many Nords like to fight with fists, they often offer gold should they loose. Many Nords do not seem to understand tha Kajiet have claws and winning their golds is so very easy

401 to 450 of 854 << first < prev | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | next > last >>
Community / Forums / Gamer Life / Entertainment / Video Games / Captain Yesterday's Guide To Skyrim Incompetence: Legendary Edition! All Messageboards

Want to post a reply? Sign in.