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1000 Things To Not do in the Pathfinder Universe


Pathfinder RPG General Discussion

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If you've never seen one of these posts before, then you're probably wondering what it is. So basically, I post a few things that you shouldn't do in Pathfinder, and then it's up to you guys to continue the list until we hit 1000 things. Guys, I know it'll be hard, but keep it serious.

Never...
1. Attempt to Craft a full plate of armor. Going off the crafting rules presented in the core rulebook, crafting a full plate would take years.
2. Forget to roll perception when you enter a new room. Your GM has likely taken the time to make every room fun and unique. Please don't waste all his efforts.
3. Take on an army of weak monsters with just your party. They will swarm you, and your superior strength will not be enough, unless you have Greater Cleave.

And now it's up to you.


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4. Be an adventurer.

Think about it. Chances are you, being teleported into this world, can't cast magic. You aren't a sorceror because you come from a long line of peasants. You aren't a wizard, because that takes training. You aren't a rogue, unless you are a career criminal over here, but that is rare. And your'e stats aren't amazing. Because in our first world lives (assuming you are from a first world country), chances are you aren't exceptionally fast, or strong, or tough. Maybe you are, in which case you'll do better than most. But 10 is average, and most of us are average (or somewhere around there).

You also won't have BaB 1. And you won't have martial weapon proficiency. Sure, you might...but nobody is really trained to use those kinds of weapons anymore. If you are lucky you were a marine and got trained on how to use a knife. I say marine, because this isn't something that is taught to soldiers. So even with (most) military training, you won't be trained with the weapons available...

..then again, you won't have any real marketable skills either. Well, maybe you will. But even if you do, you won't speak common. So you are going to be walking around without any money, useful equipment, trade skills, or the ability to really communicate with anyone.

You know what? Screw it. Be an adventuring murderhobo. You'll probably die, because that gnoll you are fighting is bigger than you, stronger than you, knows how to use it's weapon, and on top of it all has natural armor...but if you do somehow manage to kill it you'll at least have something to your name. Murderhoboing probably is your only choice, even if it isn't a good one.


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5. Pick cards from random decks.


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6. Don't light a fire at the cave mouth to suck out all the oxygen and suffocate the orcs inside. You may not use the laws of thermodynamics to bypass the dungeon, Mr Welch.


7. Stand Still


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Grumbaki wrote:

4. Be an adventurer.

Think about it. Chances are you, being teleported into this world, can't cast magic. You aren't a sorceror because you come from a long line of peasants. You aren't a wizard, because that takes training. You aren't a rogue, unless you are a career criminal over here, but that is rare. And your'e stats aren't amazing. Because in our first world lives (assuming you are from a first world country), chances are you aren't exceptionally fast, or strong, or tough. Maybe you are, in which case you'll do better than most. But 10 is average, and most of us are average (or somewhere around there).

You also won't have BaB 1. And you won't have martial weapon proficiency. Sure, you might...but nobody is really trained to use those kinds of weapons anymore. If you are lucky you were a marine and got trained on how to use a knife. I say marine, because this isn't something that is taught to soldiers. So even with (most) military training, you won't be trained with the weapons available...

..then again, you won't have any real marketable skills either. Well, maybe you will. But even if you do, you won't speak common. So you are going to be walking around without any money, useful equipment, trade skills, or the ability to really communicate with anyone.

You know what? Screw it. Be an adventuring murderhobo. You'll probably die, because that gnoll you are fighting is bigger than you, stronger than you, knows how to use it's weapon, and on top of it all has natural armor...but if you do somehow manage to kill it you'll at least have something to your name. Murderhoboing probably is your only choice, even if it isn't a good one.

I don't think OP was assuming that you teleported from the real world to Golarion, but this is an interesting discusion. A few more points that I will argue you wouldn't be totally screwed:

I would think that in this modernized world with widespread public education, it would be easier to gain class levels, and Expert would probably replace Commoner as the typical class. I might even argue that the average college graduate is a 2nd or 3rd level expert by PF standards.

As for the ability scores, modern physicals might actually be better on average than Golarion's due to modern medicine and health/fitness knowledge. Intelligence might increase too due to people spending much more time studying, though Wisdom has almost certainly gone down.

Yeah, it's true that most people won't have many relevant PF skills. But BAB +1 and simple weapon proficiencies aren't unlikely. Just a +1 doesn't mean intense formal training. Wizards and commoners get it at level 2. And Common is probably English, go easy on the poor hypothetical guy.


8. Don't fight dragons naked, unless you're a Savage Barbarian.


9. Don't pick up a gun, you'll be kicked out of taverns.

"I'd like to buy a meal"

"Guns! Not at my table!"


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10. Don't pick up guns if you're a naked Savage Barbarian.

It's a chore to stow ammo.

Shadow Lodge

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11. Whatever you do don't ask the DC to jump a 10' pit.

Grand Lodge

12. Don't teleport the lady with the only chainsword in the entire campaign into a demiplane. And please, PLEASE do not do it while grappling her with the only +1 autograpnel we have.

13. Don't try to create magic items when you don't have downtime.


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14. Don't try to use an Adamantine knife to dig through the dungeon wall.

Grand Lodge

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What about an adamantine spoon?


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Just your average clone wrote:
What about an adamantine spoon?

No, but that sounds pretty useful in eating Dwarven gruel.

15. Don't eat Dwarven gruel.


Or an adamantine shovel?


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16. Never get on the boat

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdM4QTuE3hc


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LegitName wrote:
Or an adamantine shovel?

That's pretty good for giant gruel.

17. Don't eat Giant's gruel.


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18. Go to Golarion. At all. It's got a hole right into the Abyss that's spewing demons. It's got a country undergoing continual revolutions. It's got a jungle full of various carnivorous apes and man-eating plants. And at any moment something is going to burst out from below or fall from above and it's going to be non-Euclidean.

Just stay the %#@& away.


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Combat Monster wrote:
8. Don't fight dragons naked, unless you're a Savage Barbarian.

Or if you are not proficient with armor, such as the Arcanist, Monk, Sorcerer, Witch, and Wizard.

Which brings me to...

19. Don't solo a dragon if you are playing one of the aforementioned classes.


Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber
LegitName wrote:
Combat Monster wrote:
8. Don't fight dragons naked, unless you're a Savage Barbarian.

Or if you are not proficient with armor, such as the Arcanist, Monk, Sorcerer, Witch, and Wizard.

Which brings me to...

19. Don't solo a dragon if you are playing one of the aforementioned classes.

Ahh, any full caster worth their salt can solo a dragon of equal cr, if not Cr+4.


MichaelCullen wrote:
LegitName wrote:
Combat Monster wrote:
8. Don't fight dragons naked, unless you're a Savage Barbarian.

Or if you are not proficient with armor, such as the Arcanist, Monk, Sorcerer, Witch, and Wizard.

Which brings me to...

19. Don't solo a dragon if you are playing one of the aforementioned classes.

Ahh, any full caster worth their salt can solo a dragon of equal cr, if not Cr+4.

Anti-Magic Field and Spellbane against any counters to Anti-Magic Field say hi. That caster wouldn't stand a chance.

Back on topic...

20. Don't build a classic Rogue. (Unless you want to purposefully gimp yourself.)

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Companion, Modules, Roleplaying Game Subscriber

21. Do not insult any god. Even a Good one


Darksol the Painbringer wrote:


Anti-Magic Field and Spellbane against any counters to Anti-Magic Field say hi. That caster wouldn't stand a chance.

You can Spellbane against Spellbane, so it's turtles all the way down.

22.) Forget to taste-test your potions, they might be poison.


23.)Don't solo fight anything unless you are a Magus or or similar combined class.


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24. Do not act incautiously around smiling, bald, little old men (Or women.)


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25) Do not split the party.


Sundakan wrote:
Darksol the Painbringer wrote:


Anti-Magic Field and Spellbane against any counters to Anti-Magic Field say hi. That caster wouldn't stand a chance.

You can Spellbane against Spellbane, so it's turtles all the way down.

22.) Forget to taste-test your potions, they might be poison.

What happens if both parties spellbane vs spellbane?

26. Don't ask questions not explicitly covered by RAW.


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Natan Linggod 327 wrote:
24. Do not act incautiously around smiling, bald, little old men (Or women.)

27. Do not act incautiously.


Darksol the Painbringer wrote:
MichaelCullen wrote:
LegitName wrote:
Combat Monster wrote:
8. Don't fight dragons naked, unless you're a Savage Barbarian.

Or if you are not proficient with armor, such as the Arcanist, Monk, Sorcerer, Witch, and Wizard.

Which brings me to...

19. Don't solo a dragon if you are playing one of the aforementioned classes.

Ahh, any full caster worth their salt can solo a dragon of equal cr, if not Cr+4.

Anti-Magic Field and Spellbane against any counters to Anti-Magic Field say hi. That caster wouldn't stand a chance.

Back on topic...

20. Don't build a classic Rogue. (Unless you want to purposefully gimp yourself.)

I was not aware of a dragon that could cast spellbane or Anti-Magic Field. Do they really exist? (Sorry I have to know)


LegitName wrote:
Darksol the Painbringer wrote:
MichaelCullen wrote:
LegitName wrote:
Combat Monster wrote:
8. Don't fight dragons naked, unless you're a Savage Barbarian.

Or if you are not proficient with armor, such as the Arcanist, Monk, Sorcerer, Witch, and Wizard.

Which brings me to...

19. Don't solo a dragon if you are playing one of the aforementioned classes.

Ahh, any full caster worth their salt can solo a dragon of equal cr, if not Cr+4.

Anti-Magic Field and Spellbane against any counters to Anti-Magic Field say hi. That caster wouldn't stand a chance.

Back on topic...

20. Don't build a classic Rogue. (Unless you want to purposefully gimp yourself.)

I was not aware of a dragon that could cast spellbane or Anti-Magic Field. Do they really exist? (Sorry I have to know)

The strongest of generic dragons are capable of casting 9th level spells. Anti-Magic Field is a 6th level spell (as most dragons cast as a Sorcerer).

Spellbane is less likely, as it's a 9th level spell, but I imagine some of the strongest dragons in existence are capable of it (such as a 20th level spellcaster facing a Dragon of CR+4), and since it can be used to block 5 specific spells (including other castings of Spellbane, Mage's Disjunction, and so on), there's no way a spellcaster can feasibly affect said Dragon with anything unless he wins Initiative, and even then, the Dragon would be smart and cast Anti-Magic Field before combat begins.

Of course, even without Spellbane, all a Dragon has to do is cast Anti-Magic Field, and bearhug the Spellcaster, and he's most likely finished.


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28. Always split the party
29. Don't kill each other over a stupid shocker lizard. I don't care that the GM accidentally made it confusing, just kill the stupid thing already.

The Exchange

30. NEVER Accept a Zen Archer's Death. RECHECK EVERYTING! Trust me you missed something and she's not really dead!


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Glorf Fei-Hung wrote:
30. NEVER Accept a Zen Archer's Death. RECHECK EVERYTING! Trust me you missed something and she's not really dead!

Honestly, you could probably extend that and just say, "Always triple check a monk's resources before accepting they are dead." We had one campaign that coincidentally ended with our monk's death (he died with the BBEG, and it was such an epic scene that we didn't bother with true resurrection). This campaign happened 7 years ago, and we STILL occasionally realize that he had yet another way to avoid that death which we had forgotten.

Grand Lodge

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31) Knowledge checks are for suckers, the best way to know the truth is to run right up to it and see what happens.


Darksol the Painbringer wrote:
LegitName wrote:
Darksol the Painbringer wrote:
MichaelCullen wrote:
LegitName wrote:
Combat Monster wrote:
8. Don't fight dragons naked, unless you're a Savage Barbarian.

Or if you are not proficient with armor, such as the Arcanist, Monk, Sorcerer, Witch, and Wizard.

Which brings me to...

19. Don't solo a dragon if you are playing one of the aforementioned classes.

Ahh, any full caster worth their salt can solo a dragon of equal cr, if not Cr+4.

Anti-Magic Field and Spellbane against any counters to Anti-Magic Field say hi. That caster wouldn't stand a chance.

Back on topic...

20. Don't build a classic Rogue. (Unless you want to purposefully gimp yourself.)

I was not aware of a dragon that could cast spellbane or Anti-Magic Field. Do they really exist? (Sorry I have to know)

The strongest of generic dragons are capable of casting 9th level spells. Anti-Magic Field is a 6th level spell (as most dragons cast as a Sorcerer).

Spellbane is less likely, as it's a 9th level spell, but I imagine some of the strongest dragons in existence are capable of it (such as a 20th level spellcaster facing a Dragon of CR+4), and since it can be used to block 5 specific spells (including other castings of Spellbane, Mage's Disjunction, and so on), there's no way a spellcaster can feasibly affect said Dragon with anything unless he wins Initiative, and even then, the Dragon would be smart and cast Anti-Magic Field before combat begins.

Of course, even without Spellbane, all a Dragon has to do is cast Anti-Magic Field, and bearhug the Spellcaster, and he's most likely finished.

I looked through the True Dragons at this link - http://www.d20pfsrd.com/bestiary/monster-listings/dragons

The following dragons were said to be able to cast antimagic field (I didn't see any with spellbane):
Copper (Variant)
Dungeon (3pp)
Gold (Variant)
Mithral
Red
River
Wrath (3pp)

EDIT: I thought you guys might be interested to know that, of the dragons listed, Gold has the highest CR at Great Wyrm Age - 23.


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LegitName wrote:


I looked through the True Dragons at this link - http://www.d20pfsrd.com/bestiary/monster-listings/dragons

The following dragons were said to be able to cast antimagic field (I didn't see any with spellbane):
Copper (Variant)
Dungeon (3pp)
Gold (Variant)
Mithral
Red
River
Wrath (3pp)

Dragon spell lists are suggestions not absolutes.

32.) Don't assume the dragon you're facing now uses the same tactics/spells/abilities as the dragon you faced last time.


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Natan Linggod 327 wrote:
LegitName wrote:


I looked through the True Dragons at this link - http://www.d20pfsrd.com/bestiary/monster-listings/dragons

The following dragons were said to be able to cast antimagic field (I didn't see any with spellbane):
Copper (Variant)
Dungeon (3pp)
Gold (Variant)
Mithral
Red
River
Wrath (3pp)

Dragon spell lists are suggestions not absolutes.

32.) Don't assume the dragon you're facing now uses the same tactics/spells/abilities as the dragon you faced last time.

Ahh! In that case, the solo dragon-hunting spellcaster (We need a better name for that...) better pray the GM takes pitty on him.

33.) Don't pray your your GM to take pity on you.


LegitName wrote:
Natan Linggod 327 wrote:
LegitName wrote:


I looked through the True Dragons at this link - http://www.d20pfsrd.com/bestiary/monster-listings/dragons

The following dragons were said to be able to cast antimagic field (I didn't see any with spellbane):
Copper (Variant)
Dungeon (3pp)
Gold (Variant)
Mithral
Red
River
Wrath (3pp)

Dragon spell lists are suggestions not absolutes.

32.) Don't assume the dragon you're facing now uses the same tactics/spells/abilities as the dragon you faced last time.

Ahh! In that case, the solo dragon-hunting spellcaster (We need a better name for that...) better pray the GM takes pitty on him.

33.) Don't pray your your GM to take pity on you.

My vote goes to calling him the Dracomage.

34.) If you try to overrule your GM, you're gonna have a bad time.


Darksol the Painbringer wrote:

My vote goes to calling him the Dracomage.

I could totally see that becoming an archetype or something. Sure, it would help in most campaigns never to a few times, but if you're doing a dragon-hunting campaign... I mean, they have numerous archetypes that are based around city life, and city life is a less common topic in Pathfinder. Who knows?

35.) Never try to make a new class based around an absurd idea.


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Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

36) Wear your pro-Rovagug "Let's Unmake Golarion Great Again!" t-shirt to a Dawnflower rally.


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37) Unless you're a paladin, avoid public transportation. Folks are always coughing without covering up.


38) don't go dragon hunting unless you know for a fact that you can take the beast before engaging in the hunt... the bones of many knights line the entrance to the monster's lair...


39. Don't craft a half plate. (I already said Full Plate)


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40. Never go through a door first.
41. Never go through a door last.


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42.-NOT MAKE FUN OF BARBARIAN. BARBARIAN AM SMASH ALL!

AM NOT "AM BARBARIAN", BUT AM DIFFERENT BARBARIAN. AM NOT ABLE TO COUNT. AM DUMP "IHN-TEHL-UH-GINTZ," BECAUSE BARBARIAN NOT SMASH NOT-BARBARIANS WITH "IHN-TEHL-UH-GINTZ." AM USE "IHN-TIH-MUH-DAET" TO SCARE TALKYMAN TO SAY NUMBER FOR BARBARIAN, OR BARBARIAN SMASH TALKYMAN LIKE PANCAKE.


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43- Don't overdo the Paladin Code. SERIOUSLY.
44- Don't trust the NPC, ever.
45- Don't act upon your mistrust on NPC's.
46- Don't turn this into GTA and try to go on a mugging rampage.
47- Don't play CN without any idea what that really means.
48- Don't insult the GM.
49- Don't play a God Wizard that makes the other players frustrated/bored/useless.


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AM DIFFERENT BARBARIAN wrote:

42.-NOT MAKE FUN OF BARBARIAN. BARBARIAN AM SMASH ALL!

AM NOT "AM BARBARIAN", BUT AM DIFFERENT BARBARIAN. AM NOT ABLE TO COUNT. AM DUMP "IHN-TEHL-UH-GINTZ," BECAUSE BARBARIAN NOT SMASH NOT-BARBARIANS WITH "IHN-TEHL-UH-GINTZ." AM USE "IHN-TIH-MUH-DAET" TO SCARE TALKYMAN TO SAY NUMBER FOR BARBARIAN, OR BARBARIAN SMASH TALKYMAN LIKE PANCAKE.

50. DROP OUT OF ENGINEERING SCHOOL UNTIL AM HAVING DEGREE.

SERIOUSLY, AM LIKE LIFE CHANGING. BEST WAY TO SKIP DUNGEON CRAWL AM DROP ENTIRE DUNGEON ON HEAD OF BOSS FIGHT, THEN SUNDER WAY TO SHINY LOOT. ALSO CAN MOONLIGHT IN NEIGHBORHOOD RENOVATION.


51.If you get transported from modern earth,do NOT bring your housepets.
52.If you get transported from modern earth,do NOT use your smartphone. There are no satellites,cell towers,or WiFi. You will not being doing yourself any favors trying to get a signal and stumbling into an easily avoidable demise being distracted.
53.If you do have a smartphone or tablet,do NOT try to record/photograph everything in sight.You--or your followers/subscribers--won't get to see it when you end up dead.
54.Same as no. 53, avoid the Technic League at ALL costs.
55.Do not try to impress locals with your lighter.
56.You are not the only one with a broomstick and do not assume you have an edge.
57.Anyone who looks like a hardcore death metal band member or Both,steer clear because they are most likey evil and unpleasant individuals who who like to introduce you to their god of pain and u death whether you like to or not.And/or offer you up for sacrifice or turn you into an undead abomination.
58. Whatever you do, do NOT stick a portable black hole into any sort of bag.You and anything unfortunate enough to be in the vicinity will regret it.

RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32

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59. Never try to earn money with any Profession skill. You are going to starve.


Laik wrote:
59. Never try to earn money with any Profession skill. You are going to starve.

Yeah, what's up with that? You have to have like a +20 bonus on your check if you want to make a tiny handful of gps.

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