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1000 Things To Not do in the Pathfinder Universe


Pathfinder RPG General Discussion

151 to 200 of 216 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | next > last >>

158: Don't make deals with me. Ever. It doesn't end well for anyone. Of course if you have to make a deal with me, you're usually in a position where not making a deal simply isn't an option. I've only shown up in canon a few times, but don't let lack of exposure indicate a lack of danger.


152 dont make it your dream to urinate on every temple you come across in order to be the patron deity of offensive behavior ....

Paizo Employee Community & Digital Content Director

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Removed a post. Folks, developmental disorders are not interchangeable with concepts that you may consider to be foolish or obtuse.

Shadow Lodge

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153: Don't tick off the healer.

Shadow Lodge

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154: Do not tick off the druid while in the woods.

155: Do not tick off the druid while they are bellyrubbing anything with more legs than the party.


156: Do not become an evil Necromancer Warlord. Geb and Nex would not want the competition and the fate of the Whispering Tyrant shows that even in this world it is usually a bad idea.

156B: Plus I do not want the competition


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157. If you do try to become an evil immortal Necromancer Warlord, the word rhymes with "itch." Magic is very strict on correct pronunciation, as I learned to my chagrin.


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BigNorseWolf wrote:

154: Do not tick off the druid while in the woods.

155: Do not tick off the druid while they are bellyrubbing anything with more legs than the party.

Corollary: The ticks on the druid in the woods are probably there on purpose? Maybe? I don't know, I'm not really outdoorsey...


Looks like 152-156 were removed, and Tegresin the Laughing Fiend took 158, and we just caught up to that, so An Immortal Lychee's 167 was actually 169, putting the next statement at 170.

Yes, I am proud of that math.

Also, in case it wasn't clear, at the beginning when I asked for serious replies I was being sarcastic.


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170??????
Do NOT invite Cayden Cailean to your bachelor Party!

170B: Not even if you want to reenact the Hangover movies

171: Infact, no body is allowed to invite Cayden Cailean to ANY PARTIES!

171B: I don't care if it would be the best party ever thrown in the multiverse, No means no!

171C: Why? Because last time someone actually got Cayden drunk, he told his buddies to "hold my beer" and became a GOD! If he ever got drunk again he would probably piss in the River Styx just for the laughs!

Liberty's Edge

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Edward the Necromancer wrote:

171C: Why? Because last time someone actually got Cayden drunk, he told his buddies to "hold my beer" and became a GOD! If he ever got drunk again he would probably piss in the River Styx just for the laughs!

Where do you think that river came from?


Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber
LegitName wrote:
1. Attempt to Craft a full plate of armor. Going off the crafting rules presented in the core rulebook, crafting a full plate would take years.

Really?

Full plate costs 15,000sp and has an armour bonus of +9, (craft DC of 19).

Each week a craftsman will generate craft check X DC sp of work with a successful check, in this case a minimum of 361sp, (19^2). That means we require no more than 42 successful checks.

So how good is our craftsman? Well, a baseline 1st-level nobody armourer might have:

+3 Class skill
+1 Skill rank
+1 Int bonus
+3 Skill focus

That's +8, at 1st level with no masterwork tools. This guy can't take 10 yet and will ruin 250gp of materials 30% of the time, so he better not even try.

OTOH, a set of masterwork tools will only cost him 50gp and increase that bonus to +10. Now he can take 10, succeed every check and finish in 40 weeks. (Making the armour masterwork will take an additional 4 weeks.)

Now, let's look at the royal armourer. She is experienced, (5th level), has better stats and a couple assistants:

+3 Class skill
+5 Skill ranks
+2 Int bonus
+3 Skill focus
+2 MW tools
+2 Aid another, (I'll assume only one succeeds).

A total of +17, now it only takes 30 weeks, (+3 for MW). Finding another +2 in the way of bonuses, (enchanted tools, higher stats, higher level, Gnome), would drop that to 18 weeks, (as she can take the +10DC option).

Does this take quite a long time? Sure, because this sort of thing does take a long time but it hardly takes years. Mind you, that's to generate 1000GP in added value and 20+gp/week for a 1st-level craftsman isn't chicken feed.


172. Do not assume that the NPC you just shafted before leaving town won't show up again later.

173. Do not completely ignore the "job board" 5 feet from the docks then complain about a town's lack of plot hooks.

174. Do not try to make a party of 4 or more Summoners. Nevermind, go ahead and do that, just don't act surprised when every enemy and their dog has Protection from X active and 6+ castings of Dismissal.

175. Do not play a fighter if you're going to completely ignore the Combat Stamina system that the GM allowed you to have for free just to make Fighters more interesting.

175b. Do not then proceed to complain that Fighters are boring.

176. Do not bring your GF along for a one-shot if there is more than a 50% chance she wants to play a Druid. I know veteran players who wouldn't touch that class with a 10-foot-pole because of how many complicated things there are to keep track of.

177. Do not name your characters after anyone from the Lord of the Rings universe.

177b. If you absolutely must name your Elven Ranger "Legolas" anyway, do not proceed to call every Dwarf you meet "Gimli".

178. If there is a large set of double doors in a dungeon, there's probably a particularly powerful monster behind them. Don't try going through while the rest of your party is in the middle of another fight.

179. If an NPC asks you what your plan is to take down the BBEG, "We'll figure it out later" is not an acceptable answer. This is the GM telegraphing that the BBEG is not to be taken lightly.

180. "Are you sure?" is not a rhetorical question.


181. Craftsman, commoner, Lich, unless they multiclass as a spellcaster.


182. Even after thorough discussions on how to open the vault in the dilapidated inn without bringing the roof down upon the party, never assume the barbarian will not ignore you and rage his way through a load-bearing wall.


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183: Male players are to avoid playing female characters if their only reason to do so is to act like a slut.


184: Do not play every Dwarf as a stubborn alcoholic
185: Do not play every Elf as a snob who looks down on everyone else as children.
186: Do not play every half-ling as a compulsive thief.
187: Not every half-breed is an outsider and/or loner with a tragic past.


188: Don't try to make an atomic bomb. If the GM wants them, they will be provided.


Goth Guru wrote:
188: Don't try to make an atomic bomb. If the GM wants them, they will be provided.

Sometimes by way of Nyarlathotep.


Chakat Firepaw wrote:
LegitName wrote:
1. Attempt to Craft a full plate of armor. Going off the crafting rules presented in the core rulebook, crafting a full plate would take years.

Really?

Several people have shot that down. I get it now. Also, I looked back at my calculations and had written that a full plate costs 3000gp instead of 1500gp when I said that. So here is a revised #1:

1. Never craft a full plate without training in craft armour.


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Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

189. You don't tug on Aroden's wand
190. You don't 'port into the void
191. You don't pull that mask off the old Pharasma
192. And you don't mess around with Wes


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RainOfSteel wrote:

189. You don't tug on Aroden's wand

190. You don't 'port into the void
191. You don't pull that mask off the old Pharasma
192. And you don't mess around with Wes

Bad, bad, Rain o' Steel.


193. Never play a cleric with the healing domain.


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194. Never get involved in a land war in Tian Xia
195. Never go in against a Chelaxian when death is on the line


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

196. LEEEEROY JEN...


197. When a divination spell gives gibberish, ask "Is this James Gorden?"


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
powerdemon wrote:
Bad, bad, Rain o' Steel.

:D


198: Never climb through a window to attack an enemy just to show off your new sword. You will fail the Acrobatics check, it will AoO you, then attack you again on its turn and you will die. Trust me on this. Just stay back and shoot it through the window with your crossbow while the barbarian goes around the side of the house to attack it.


Heather 540 wrote:
198: Never climb through a window to attack an enemy just to show off your new sword. You will fail the Acrobatics check, it will AoO you, then attack you again on its turn and you will die. Trust me on this. Just stay back and shoot it through the window with your crossbow while the barbarian goes around the side of the house to attack it.

Or through the side of the house. We are talking about a barbarian after all. ;)


199: Don't get too attached to your advice. It could be a sword of the swashbuckler that grants +6 acrobatics. Then there are conditional modifiers.


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Companion, Modules, Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Heather 540 wrote:
198: Never climb through a window to attack an enemy just to show off your new sword. You will fail the Acrobatics check, it will AoO you, then attack you again on its turn and you will die. Trust me on this. Just stay back and shoot it through the window with your crossbow while the barbarian goes around the side of the house to attack it.

Someone has unresolved issues, I see. ;)


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200: Do not go meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for we are squishy and go great with ketchup.


201: Never... and I mean NEVER poke the Tarrasque with a stick to see if it's dead. It isn't. Heck, half the things in the universe this probably stands for, unless your "stick" is 3+ feet of sharp steel.

201A: Disregard that last part for Vampires, absolutely poke them with a wooden stick. Preferably in the heart. And then toss them into the sunlight. That's how you know they're dead.


Shinigami02 wrote:

201: Never... and I mean NEVER poke the Tarrasque with a stick to see if it's dead. It isn't. Heck, half the things in the universe this probably stands for, unless your "stick" is 3+ feet of sharp steel.

201A: Disregard that last part for Vampires, absolutely poke them with a wooden stick. Preferably in the heart. And then toss them into the sunlight. That's how you know they're dead.

201B: Then put the ashes into a vile of holy water, encase the vile of Holy Water in concrete, and put THAT at the bottom of the ocean!


202: just because it's a man doesn't mean it isn't a succubus. Seriously guys, creative DMs are a nightmare.


202a: Even if it's not a succubus, it could be an incubus, and they're not fun (in good ways) to mess with either.


202b: Or a Sire Devil, if Devils are more common.


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203: 4th wall summoner, cartoon bloodline.


102. Don't try to keep track of numbered lists.

Grand Lodge

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Pathfinder Tales Subscriber

App. 4a-XVIII
Do not forget what place you are in, on a list.

App. 4b-XIV
Do not start creating arbitrary numbering schemes to try to be funny. The Dewey Decimal System works just fine.

App. 4x-IX
Do not mock the Dewey Decimal System.

204-
Do NOT drink the Sun Orchid Elixir that you found on the job.


Selvaxri wrote:


Do NOT drink the Sun Orchid Elixir that you found on the job.

It was so cool and refreshing, and orchid harvesting is such thirsty work. *guzzles*


204: When playing a Catfolk, do not forget to ask the GM if they imagine Catfolk to look more like a their picture from Advanced Race Guide (Khajiit) or more like their picture in Bestiary 3(Anime Catgirl).


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205 - That tavern drunk is NOT a secret playtest for Cayden 2.0

Shadow Lodge

the Queen's Raven wrote:
11. Whatever you do don't ask the DC to jump a 10' pit.

<WTF in heck?><Google><Oh, my lord...>

That stupid thing went to 1,479 posts.

Shadow Lodge

Sundakan wrote:

Eh? 1 rank, 10 Wis, class skill gives you +4. Taking 10 gives you 7 gold pieces per week.

A Common Meal and a mug of ale costs you 1/2 a gp per night (so in 7 days you spend 3 gp, 5 sp). You can stay at a s+%#ty inn for 2 sp per night (so 1 gp, 4 sp per week).

So for room and board you're spending 4 gp, 9 sp per week leaving you with 2 gp, 1 sp per week to spare. Maybe you buy a new set of clothes so you can have an outfit to wear every day (1 sp per outfit, so 7 sp). Maybe you just decide to buy a second meal every day (buy a Poor Meal for breakfast or lunch, at only 1 sp a pop, so 7 more sp). So you're eating twice a day and clothed...and STILL have 7 sp to spare for other necessities or frivolities, just in the first week. You could use that to up your food intake to three squares a day (7 sp), or buy toiletries and luxuries like soap (1 cp), a lamp (1 sp) and the oil to burn it for 6 hours (1 sp) and various other things.

That's as a barely trained first level laborer who has no particular natural aptitude for any trade (low Wis).

Most of us slobs would earn more as a 1st commoner than we do over in this word. Doubt me? Convert your weekly take-home into gold, and see how much you get.


206 - Don't ever, under any circumstances, approach a line of halberd-wielding Fighters. They will have Greater Trip, you will fall down, and you will eat a lethal amount of AoOs and full-round attacks.

Shadow Lodge

207: Do not steer the noob toward Summoner.

207a: If you have a short attention span, please re-read 207.

208: Do not attempt to level your animal companion or familiar with less than an hour to go before game-time, because you're bound to forget two or three things.

209: If you don't pounce and aren't mounted or have fantastic AC, don't charge. (Instead, shoot it, then Quick Draw your polearm.)

210: If you are a heavy-armor cleric, do not forget to wear a flotation device at all times.


We skipped Blahpers and all of Selvaxri
So this is
216. Let anybody play a character that is optimised for crafting while using the 3.5 rules that you can increase the DC as much as you like.

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