1000 Things To Not do in the Pathfinder Universe


Pathfinder First Edition General Discussion

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Grand Lodge

96: Don't try to seduce the lizard-folk king when you have an 8 charisma.


97. Don't steal from a fellow party member. Especially the cranky ones.

98. If your DM is "that guy" (or gal), and you're offered a wish, stick to the spells basic suggestions or even don't wish at all.


Third Mind wrote:

97. Don't steal from a fellow party member. Especially the cranky ones.

98. If your DM is "that guy" (or gal), and you're offered a wish, stick to the spells basic suggestions or even don't wish at all.

98a. Do not cast wish at all. It's a trap option that no sane GM would allow. If a GM does allow a Wish spell, you're just asking for the GM to play the "Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies" card.


98b. If it's an evil creature pressuring you to make a wish now, it's suspect. Otherwise, don't wait till the wish is offered to make a decision.


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Goth Guru wrote:

92. Don't whine if dire consequences result from your actions.

A: Cannibals rise as ghouls.
B: Blood Drinkers rise as vampires.
C: Atheists reincarnate as Lamias.
D: The most useless character gets possessed or contracts Lycanthropy.

Cool! Now I want to play an useless atheist cannibal blood drinker just to see what happens!


99. Don't bring a Synthesist to a Pathfinder Society game.
99b. Don't get into a 2 hour argument with a gaming group that is following the Pathfinder Society rules and not allowing your Synthesist in a Pathfinder Society game.


LegitName wrote:
Sundakan wrote:

Eh? 1 rank, 10 Wis, class skill gives you +4. Taking 10 gives you 7 gold pieces per week.

A Common Meal and a mug of ale costs you 1/2 a gp per night (so in 7 days you spend 3 gp, 5 sp). You can stay at a s@#*ty inn for 2 sp per night (so 1 gp, 4 sp per week).

So for room and board you're spending 4 gp, 9 sp per week leaving you with 2 gp, 1 sp per week to spare. Maybe you buy a new set of clothes so you can have an outfit to wear every day (1 sp per outfit, so 7 sp). Maybe you just decide to buy a second meal every day (buy a Poor Meal for breakfast or lunch, at only 1 sp a pop, so 7 more sp). So you're eating twice a day and clothed...and STILL have 7 sp to spare for other necessities or frivolities, just in the first week. You could use that to up your food intake to three squares a day (7 sp), or buy toiletries and luxuries like soap (1 cp), a lamp (1 sp) and the oil to burn it for 6 hours (1 sp) and various other things.

That's as a barely trained first level laborer who has no particular natural aptitude for any trade (low Wis).

So, barely trained - you have a few sp to spare. Increase you training, and you might have a few gp to spare. So you won't starve, but you will still be incredibly poor. As long as your GM is okay with you taking 10 (I know some who are very much against that...).

Most low level jobs of that period included room and board.

and if you dont take ten, you will still be Ok.


100. Never start any combat, you'll find out that 6 seconds are way too little time to decide what you should do, move 30ft., speak 3 sentences and cast a spell/make an attack.


DrDeth wrote:
LegitName wrote:
Sundakan wrote:

Eh? 1 rank, 10 Wis, class skill gives you +4. Taking 10 gives you 7 gold pieces per week.

A Common Meal and a mug of ale costs you 1/2 a gp per night (so in 7 days you spend 3 gp, 5 sp). You can stay at a s@#*ty inn for 2 sp per night (so 1 gp, 4 sp per week).

So for room and board you're spending 4 gp, 9 sp per week leaving you with 2 gp, 1 sp per week to spare. Maybe you buy a new set of clothes so you can have an outfit to wear every day (1 sp per outfit, so 7 sp). Maybe you just decide to buy a second meal every day (buy a Poor Meal for breakfast or lunch, at only 1 sp a pop, so 7 more sp). So you're eating twice a day and clothed...and STILL have 7 sp to spare for other necessities or frivolities, just in the first week. You could use that to up your food intake to three squares a day (7 sp), or buy toiletries and luxuries like soap (1 cp), a lamp (1 sp) and the oil to burn it for 6 hours (1 sp) and various other things.

That's as a barely trained first level laborer who has no particular natural aptitude for any trade (low Wis).

So, barely trained - you have a few sp to spare. Increase you training, and you might have a few gp to spare. So you won't starve, but you will still be incredibly poor. As long as your GM is okay with you taking 10 (I know some who are very much against that...).

Most low level jobs of that period included room and board.

and if you dont take ten, you will still be Ok.

if you don't take 10, in the long term you'd be better as avg is 10.5 - you'd just have to save some for the cases where you get bad rolls

Dark Archive

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101. Always make a Diplomacy check before ritualistically scarring your party members as an "act of friendship".

102. Never hit on the GM's favorite NPC.

103. Don't play a Wizard unless you want the GM to have some random NPC steal your spellbook.


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104. Never go past 3rd level without a spare spellbook.

Liberty's Edge

105. Never buy a "vacation" to Mzali.
106. If you have to ask, don't touch that plant.


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107. If you fail to identify that plant, assume it's a glass plant. Torch it to see if it melts.:P


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Goth Guru wrote:
107. If you fail to identify that plant, assume it's a glass plant. Torch it to see if it melts.:P

In other words, don't forget to torch things you can't identify.

Verdant Wheel

108. Don't fail to make sure to have your learnin' checks corroborated by fellow party members if there's the slightest chance you failed enough to get incorrect information. Other people are allowed to know things too.


I like how the OP asked to keep it serious.

109. Never act upon the fact that everything isn't okay.

Nitro~Nina wrote:
Particle_Man wrote:
90. Don't eat people (unless you know Purify Food and Drink).
91. Don't drink blood unless the same filters are applied.

This is not a luxury I can afford.


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Let's necromanciate this thread, shall we?


110: Never forget: If the party Gnome, Kender, Rogue, Bard, or alternative source of mischief says the words "Double Down," immediately find the nearest escape route, and be prepared to leave the country.

111: Never fail to double down. opens window and grabs fake passport


We hit the magical 111. Let's keep going for 200.

Shadow Lodge

112. Never magically throw a crossbow at a little girl who took your healing potion to save her sick father.

113. Never invest your gold.

114. Never go to Cheliax with a deaf halfling who always runs in front of the party and yells, "We're Pathfinders!"


115. Never say you're Pathfinders if you think Pathfinders are people who find paths.


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116. Never admit that you're a Red Mantis Assassin.

117. Never ask a priest of Aroden for healing. Or any other spells, for that matter.

118. Never gamble in Riddleport.


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119: Do not make a character based off of Jack Sparrow when playing Skulls and Shackles, the real captain will Keel Haul you.

120: Do not make a character inspired by Deadpool when playing Path of the Righteous, Iomedae will smith you.


Beopere wrote:
5. Pick cards from random decks.

unless your a Fortunate, wizard 5 \ Harrower 10 who crafted his own Silent Aviary (or stole\found one) and has planeshfit ready just in case.

then again the GM DID make me retire him after a week of this daily card(s) draw so...


as for the list :

121: never forget to search EVERY door you come to for traps.

'for one does not simply walk into more-doors'.

122: do not feed the cute fuzzy pet of the jade emporer after midnight.


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123: Do not make a Dhamphir inspired by Blade, just don't

124: Do not try to seduce the vampire so that you can father a Dhamphir/Blade character. This is not Twilight, Vampires do not sleep with their food.

125: Do not try to seduce the dragon so that you can be the mythic father of "The Dragon Born"

126: In fact, just stay away from sleeping with anything from the Bestiary.

126b: Unless you are a bard of course, at which case it is your sacred duty to father as many half breed children as possible.

Shadow Lodge

Oh, I misunderstood you for a bit; it's okay to make a dhampir who's an Inspired Blade, since that's just a swashbuckler archetype.


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127: Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER attend a festival! Just DON'T.

spoiler:
Rise of the Runelords, Wrath of the Righteous, Ironfang Invasion, Feast of Ravenmoor, and Carnival of Tears all demonstrate why attending a festival on Golarion is a horrible idea

Festivals are to Golarion what weddings are to Westeros!


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128: Casting rage at monsters while hiding behind a teammate you dislike will be treated as PVP.


128: Don't ask a Gnome to cook for you, no telling what those crazy Fey will put in the food.

129: Don't ask an Orc to cook for you, they will probably miss hear you and decide to cook you.

Grand Lodge

130. A Fighter is a discount Barbarian. Don't play a Fighter.
131. A Cavalier is a discount Paladin on a horse. Don't play a Cavalier.
132. A rogue is a discount ninja. Don't play a rogue.
133. A wizard is a discount non-human Sage-bloodline sorcerer. Don't not play a non-human Sage bloodline Sorcerer.
134. A martial class (full BAB) class is a discount Battle Oracle. Don't play full BAB class.

Grand Lodge

135. Play a character that uses Charisma as its main stat UNLESS it's super SAD (eg. Paladin/Oracle multiclass and Dragon Disciple gets a special mention as well).

Grand Lodge

136. A monk is a discount brawler. Don't, ever, ever, EVER play a monk.


137. If you hear something on the otherside a door in a dungeon, Never knock on the door..


unless you want to be sent on silly, unrewarding, and very dangerous missions, don't ever become a member of the pathfinder society.


Klorox wrote:
unless you want to be sent on silly, unrewarding, and very dangerous missions, don't ever become a member of the pathfinder society.

Where do I sign up?!


Play PFS


Edward the Necromancer wrote:
126: In fact, just stay away from sleeping with anything from the Bestiary.

I'm gonna have to disagree with you here. -points to p.111 of B6-

138. Don't be evil.

Seriously, you're only going to have a bad afterlife. You're not going to be the one-in-a-billion who gets to become a fiend. Even then, you're not going to be the one-in-a-billion who gets to become a demigod. And even if you are, the celestials aren't going to invite you to their parties.

139. Stay away from Korvosa! It's infested with every level of supervillain and mundane stupidity imaginable. On a related note...

140. Don't build a castle on top of obviously evil ruins.

141. Don't turn the native burial grounds into sewers.

142. Don't let that golddigging b$&%$ have the key to the treasury.

143. I don't care if he is your boyfriend, don't expect a mad artist to give you asylum.


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144: Don't drink Orc mead, you don't want to know what they make it out of

145: Don't drink Dwarven Mushroom Beer unless you want to go on one VERY CRAZY WILD RIDE!

146: Don't drink Elven Wine, it's just bad, might as well drink water.


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AlgaeNymph wrote:
Edward the Necromancer wrote:
126: In fact, just stay away from sleeping with anything from the Bestiary.
I'm gonna have to disagree with you here. -points to p.111 of B6-

What's on pg111 of B6?


Darigaaz the Igniter wrote:
AlgaeNymph wrote:
Edward the Necromancer wrote:
126: In fact, just stay away from sleeping with anything from the Bestiary.
I'm gonna have to disagree with you here. -points to p.111 of B6-
What's on pg111 of B6?

147. Don't ask what's on pg111 of B6. You don't want to know.

P.S. I'd actually want to know too xD

Shadow Lodge

Goth Guru wrote:
128: Casting rage at monsters while hiding behind a teammate you dislike will be treated as PVP.

Unless the monster is a full caster.


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Kileanna wrote:
Darigaaz the Igniter wrote:
AlgaeNymph wrote:
Edward the Necromancer wrote:
126: In fact, just stay away from sleeping with anything from the Bestiary.
I'm gonna have to disagree with you here. -points to p.111 of B6-
What's on pg111 of B6?

147. Don't ask what's on pg111 of B6. You don't want to know.

P.S. I'd actually want to know too xD

Arshea


AldantheRighteous wrote:
136. A monk is a discount brawler. Don't, ever, ever, EVER play a monk.

Unless you like making those pesky Will saves. ;-)


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148: That naked tied up beautiful woman in that dungeon?- a succubus.


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DrDeth wrote:

148: That naked tied up beautiful woman in that dungeon?- a succubus.

149: Unless you have Protection from Evil prepared and a few potions/castings of lesser restoration, in which case have at it.

Remember, always practice safe sex, especially against outsiders!


150: Never utter the phrase "Come at me bro" when your GM warns an encounter may be too tough.

Verdant Wheel

151: Similarly, the words "I'm sure it'll work" are discouraged if your GM is trying to hint otherwise.

Grand Lodge

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157: Don't use pesh right before a big campaign ending fight, especially if you already only have a 5 Wisdom.

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