BigNorseWolf makes you question humanity here


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I'n my head wolf you look like jake holland from those vine videos

Edit: or a large wolf on of those 2.

Shadow Lodge

Saw a coyote on my walk tonight. (90% sure anyway. It was dark, but it had the gait and that was a VERY bushy tail for a domestic dog)

You know they're in the area but I've never actually seen one in the neighborhood.


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BigNorseWolf wrote:

Saw a coyote on my walk tonight. (90% sure anyway. It was dark, but it had the gait and that was a VERY bushy tail for a domestic dog)

You know they're in the area but I've never actually seen one in the neighborhood.

It's a good thing you know your way around animals.


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Fabius Maximus wrote:
BigNorseWolf wrote:

Saw a coyote on my walk tonight. (90% sure anyway. It was dark, but it had the gait and that was a VERY bushy tail for a domestic dog)

You know they're in the area but I've never actually seen one in the neighborhood.

It's a good thing you know your way around animals.

Guys just minding his own business trying to catch some road runners.

Really the coyote's face says it all. ...Crazy humans...


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We got a new puppy.
Cross between a jack russell and a shih tzu. They are apparently called Jack S!#!s.
Everyone keeps asking if we have a name yet. We only collected her on Saturday. It took us about a month to name our last dog.
She is adorable though.
I personally like Asimov, but doubt my parents will go along with that idea.

What pisses me off is the fact that these puppies are the result of neglect.
A friends neighbors, who are filthy rich, just didnt see the need to spay their dog. They also didn't keep it in their yard.All our yards are walled off here Needless to say it has had 6 puppies and they refuse to look after them.
These a~#+$%@s have been handing them out to people who financially are incapable of supporting themselves, nevermind a pet.

Some people don't deserve animals


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I immediately thought that a jack Russel and shih tzu would be call that before I read it.

You could just name her Jackie.

(Some people shouldn't be allowed to have pets children or drive. They should fear that I ever get any real power. I'm thinking world domination Dr Doom style.)

Shadow Lodge

name suggestion: MawPingGlow

Shadow Lodge

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Bronx zoo, world of darkness exhibit, which is indoors and has the animals behind glass.

Kids tapping on the glass.

I drop my voice a little

[Lrr of omicron persei 8]"don't do that"[/Lrr]

Kid whirls around. As i am both large and wearing a black t shirt , when he does this he sees... absolutely nothing in any direction at all, left right up or down. Just a disembodied voice.

"ahhhhhhh......." runs down the hall screaming.


Sorry, Vid. You're not going to become ultimate ruler of Earth. I will, and now I know to watch out for you.

Oh, but your basic idea about kids and driving is good.


BigNorseWolf wrote:
Coffee Golem wrote:
Have we moved from animal stories or just generally messed up stories?

Im trying to keep it to the messed up in a funny way ones.

Mind you, my life seems to have been directed by the guy who does americas funniest home video groin shot reels...

“Messed up” was just the most accurate adjective I could come up with.

Scarab Sages

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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Maps, Modules, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Maps Subscriber

Salt is pretty tasty to some animals. They will lick your sweat.

Apparently my hand sweat is extra delicious to Red ruffed lemurs. They are pretty free to roam about in our zoo. Have to keep an eye on them because they will steal your stuff. But you cant pet them.

Zoo keeper told me multiple times not to pet them. But they were licking me. And its a bad idea to jerk your hand away.
They did scamper off when they zoo keeper shoo'd them away.

Dark Archive

Woran wrote:
Salt is pretty tasty to some animals. They will lick your sweat.

Oh yeah, lots of animals (usually just cats and dogs...) when I was growing up would come up and slobber all over my arms, trying to get their salt fix.

As for lemurs stealing stuff, we had a monkey that liked eyeglasses. He could snatch them off your face and then snap them shut with a flick of his hand so fast you couldn't stop him before he yanked them between the vertical bars of his enclosure. Literally blindingly fast. :)

Fortunately he had zero attention span, you could hand him a twig and he'd drop the glasses in favor of the new offering, which you could then retrieve.

Shadow Lodge

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The deer in the park are ridiculously used to humans. When i worked at a lake and stopped off on the way home to hike the same trail every other day, the deer got so used to me being there one day when i was sweating like crazy it just wandered up for a lick.

I like hiking, but never really liked camping. So when i was younger i'd just take a cloak go out , hike to whereever find a nice spot wrap myself up in it and go to sleep. I find a NICE spot with some really soft moss, lay down and pass out.

I wake up thinking there's a steam locomotive next to me.

I look up there's a deer, snorting at me and stomping his hoof. Apparently its a VERY good spot. And well known. And his. I go back to sleep

And wake up with him next to me. Warm way to spend a night...

Cleaning up in said park. Other guy comes down with a pan and broom, dragging the pan *clangclangalclangclang*

Deer is so used to that, doesn't even stop browsing.

A family gets out of the car and goes "oh look a deer.." very quietly... Off like a shot.

Scarab Sages

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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Maps, Modules, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Maps Subscriber

When you say steam locomotive, I think of Hedgehogs. When the hedgehogs are 'getting it on' in the garden, you could easily mistake them for a bunch of wild boar. So much noise. Such tiny creatures.


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Hedgehogs are a odd pet choice their so fast, and they love chili dogs...

The Exchange

How do you pet a hedgehog?


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Very carefully.


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Just a Mort wrote:
How do you pet a hedgehog?

Start just above the eyes and move towards the tail in a straight line?


pretty much, unless you like little pinpricks of pain...then, the opposite :)

The Exchange

I should try petting a hedgehog sometime! If I can get one available.


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Surprisingly my parents agreed that Asimov shall be our puppies name.

She literally sticks her head in my shoes to lick the soles. My feet sweat a lot.


I have a cat who LOVES to lick my feet...she gets annoyed when winter arrives and I have shoes on once more.


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I'm not druid, I think I might behave too much like a predator (even though I've never hunted). Dogs and I definitely get along. So much so that I occasionally date someone who has a "difficult" dog, and they often judge potential boyfriends by how the dog reacts, and I don't really consider it a "fair" test for me.

Recently one woman invited me in to begin the process of her dog adjusting to me. Normally he's super scared of everyone and will bark at their every move until he gets to know them. Petting him is usually completely out of the question. He doesn't cuddle with anyone, not even his owner.

After an hour he was basically sitting in my lap.


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A friend has a boxer/french bulldog mix. Super cute, and at 2 yrs old is still crazy energetic. He jumps on pretty much everyone that comes into the house. Except me. He runs up to me and sits down, because I've trained him that I'll only pet him if his butt is on the ground.


Azimov as doubled in size. She was 900g when we go her, she is now closer to 2kg.

She has been trying to play with our 13 year old mini doberman cross mini dachshund (Dinky). Dinky is having none of it and just tries to run away. It is quite cute but I do feel sorry for Dinky


"What is this small but quickly growing thing?! Why is it approaching me?! I better flee before it absorbs me into its growing mass!"

Shadow Lodge

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People have those laser light things they point at the house. Many of them miss, and wind up in the nearby trees.

Because the lights lose their color at a distance, it looked like the trees were made of midnight. Pretty cool effect.

Also, there's a deer that keeps hanging out on the front lawn nomming on a fairly ripe pumpkin from halloween.


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Likely because it is now a fermented pumpkin :)

We have a tubby squirrel that for several years has gotten hammered from eating fermented Samhain pumpkin flesh. He then tries to climb a tree, gets a foot off the ground, and falls.

I feel a little bad...but it IS just as funny as you might expect.

The Exchange

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Oh I wish I were there to see it. But the Squirrel didn't hurt itself did it?


No, he was fine, except for a bit of embarrassment and maybe a little hang over...


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With a squirrel it is cute. A moose eating large amounts of fermented berries is TERRIFYING.


Cattle can be pretty bad as well. Imagine a bull drunkenly charging your parked car.


Moose are dangerous without being drunken...wise the Sissyl is!


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Does your insurance cover intoxicated bull damage?

Shadow Lodge

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GM_Beernorg wrote:
Does your insurance cover intoxicated bull damage?

yes but it requires a breathalyzer.

Oddly enough claims are... rare.


BigNorseWolf wrote:
GM_Beernorg wrote:
Does your insurance cover intoxicated bull damage?

yes but it requires a breathalyzer.

Oddly enough claims are... rare.

But once they get mooving, they'll leave you seeing red at how little you can milk them for.


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"Uhhh...we don't have a cow, we have a bull"

"I'm gonna go brush my teeth now..."


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Terrinam wrote:
Cattle can be pretty bad as well. Imagine a bull drunkenly charging your parked car.

It wasn't drunk, but...

When I was a kid we had a Dodge Omni, it was a 4-door, but still pretty compact. We were on a road trip through South Dakota with camping stops at the Badlands and Black Hills. On the last day in the Black Hills we're driving along this dirt track and come upon a herd of buffalo. My dad, the patient man that he is, decides to try and nose his way through the herd instead of waiting for them to pass. We're actually making progress at one point, when a bull rears up and pushes another buffalo out of the way and proceeds to face off with our car. Mind you, the buffalo is bigger than our car.

My dad slowly backed up and the buffalo went on his way.

Dark Archive

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GM_Beernorg wrote:

"Uhhh...we don't have a cow, we have a bull"

"I'm gonna go brush my teeth now..."

"Now I don't feel so bad about only getting half a cup..."

-Emo Phillips version of that joke.

The Exchange

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A peacock walked past me


Hey Mort, looks like you are somewhere with no snow...

::narrows eyes:: Lucky bugger ::grumble grumble::

Just messing with ya Mort, wherever you were looks interesting though.


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Companion, Maps, Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Mort lives in Singapore. Mort, by law, is not allowed to eat that bird. These are some of the things I have learned about Mort.


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Vanykrye wrote:
Mort lives in Singapore. Mort, by law, is not allowed to eat that bird. These are some of the things I have learned about Mort.

In England only the king is allowed to eat Swan.

Shadow Lodge

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Vanykrye wrote:
Mort lives in Singapore. Mort, by law, is not allowed to eat that bird. These are some of the things I have learned about Mort.

The bird apparently learned it too.


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Companion, Maps, Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Yeah, and I'm pretty sure that the law doesn't specifically say "Only Mort can't eat that particular peacock". I mean, it would be really cool in a completely creepy way if it did, but if I'm understanding the law correctly, it basically means no hunting in Singapore.

The Exchange

Here's the statute

“wild animals and birds” includes all species of animals and birds of a wild nature, but does not include domestic dogs and cats, horses, cattle, sheep, goats, domestic pigs, poultry and ducks.

3. The Minister may by order —

(c) prohibit within Singapore or any part thereof the killing or taking of any wild animal or bird;

5.—(1) Any person who kills, takes or keeps any wild animal or bird, other than those specified in the Schedule, without a licence shall be guilty of an offence and shall be liable on conviction to a fine not exceeding $1,000 and to the forfeiture of the wild animal or bird.

Peacocks, suffice to say, are not in the schedule.

So yes I was walking down the forest trail when I saw this peacock sauntering along the trail like he owned it. Now usually when it comes to taking a photo of birds, they fly away before I can get a good shot. So I was like "oooh is this the ONE?" and just stepped to one side while rapidly snapping shots using my phone camera. I have a clearer one of once he went past me - the one above isn't that clear at the head part, and I also managed to take a peahen later.

I also got scratched by a monkey that day, but again I was approaching those two monkeys, and didn't see the third one getting twitchy. He ran up to me and clawed me a bit. Oh well. It happens.

Shadow Lodge

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Sometimes i swear the deer read ahead to know when the first day of hunting season is. Day before? Deer all over the woods. Day of? They're standing on everyone;s lawn.

The Exchange

Ya I would suspect they read ahead. On the side note, venison is pretty good so there's incentive for them to, or they'd end up on someone's dinner table.

Shadow Lodge

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Elephants can tell human gender and ethnic group from just a few sentences, and they know who's likely to be a hunter with a weapon and a tourist with a camera.

Scarab Sages

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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Maps, Modules, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Maps Subscriber

My little girls are getting old.
Its a shame rats dont live that long :(

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