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Hama: German here. I pronounce it the same way you do.
Limeylongears, where do you hail from? I ask because if I took the "ue" in Duergar as a "ü" (because whenever it's impossible to use ä/ö/ü in German it gets substituted with a ae/oe/ue) I get a whole lot closer to the "Jäger"-sound (would sound like...I guess dyrger? deerger? You don't really have the ü sound in any English word...the French have it in words like rue)
Be happy you don't play in a world with Eragon elves. Not only are they Lord of the Rings Elves, but they are also, inherently stronger, tougher, faster and all around better version than nearly any other race in existence.Me: I don't like Elves...
Player 1: I'm an elf, why don't you like Elves?
Me: I think the Lord of the Rings ruined it for me. Look at me I don't need to sleep, my bread is better than any other bread, I'm stupidly good with a bow AND melee and can pretty much live forever...
Me: Elves OP.
Lord of the Rings elves pretty much were that already.
Hama: German here. I pronounce it the same way you do.
Limeylongears, where do you hail from? I ask because if I took the "ue" in Duergar as a "ü" (because whenever it's impossible to use ä/ö/ü in German it gets substituted with a ae/oe/ue) I get a whole lot closer to the "Jäger"-sound (would sound like...I guess dyrger? deerger? You don't really have the ü sound in any English word...the French have it in words like rue)
I am English. For some reason, my group pronounce it as 'Djergaar', probably because we're all plebs.
Well, I also pronounce 'sahuagin' as 'sah-haw-g-in', so I'm not sure I should be trusted. :)
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I was palying a Rogue and he got arrested. At the end of the judge's opening statement he asked 'How do you plead?'
I replied with 'It's just a hobby!'
Even the GM, who knew my sense of humour, wasn't expecting this as I'd stayed in character, and serious, throughout.
Tea break? Yup!
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There was an NPC named "Lucky" who was anything but. He was disfigured, missing a leg, kept referencing some sort of disease he'd contracted, had recently lost all of his meager savings, and that very day was given a task by orc pirates that he had no means of completing.
In conversation with Lucky, the party realized that he had information that they needed, and that he would be glad to reveal that information in exchange for a boat they had that they were planning on abandoning, anyway. The fighter steps off the boat and says:
"This is your... um, your day, Lucky."
The ommission of the phrase "lucky day" and the timing the player used cracked us all up.
Lord of the Rings elves pretty much were that already.Be happy you don't play in a world with Eragon elves. Not only are they Lord of the Rings Elves, but they are also, inherently stronger, tougher, faster and all around better version than nearly any other race in existence.Me: I don't like Elves...
Player 1: I'm an elf, why don't you like Elves?
Me: I think the Lord of the Rings ruined it for me. Look at me I don't need to sleep, my bread is better than any other bread, I'm stupidly good with a bow AND melee and can pretty much live forever...
Me: Elves OP.
Eh... not to the extent Eragon elves were, if they were at all. In Eragon, the elves are so much stronger than humans that it is stated, in repeatedly, that no matter how skilled or talented you are with a sword, even the worst elf swordsman can beat you, if you are a human. They were capable of caving a mans head in with a single punch through a helmet, and running for days at a time without fatigue.
Roughly, elves were 3 times as strong, fast and tough as humans were. In LotR, if an Elf faced a Human, the human can actually win, in Eragon, the human has zero chance, unless the elf did something categorically stupid, was both drunk, stoned and had his hands tied behind his back, or was already on the verge of death from many, many wounds, even then, he likely needed to be missing an arm and a leg.
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So Paolini is an elf-lover.
A pervy elf - fancier one might say.
"If the Ranger gets a bonus to hit the churro, IT IS NO LONGER A CHURRO."
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Ahh, but how do you pronounce ixitxachitl?
"Fred."
Also, I keep wanting to try to get them to say their names backwards so that they can be sent back to the 5th Dimension.
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Lesson: never name your NPCs things that are homophonic or easily rhymable with everyday words and phrases.Or something that can be twisted into something that sounds dirty.
This is truth. In my Jade Regent campaign, we were hot on the trail (in book two) of Asvig Longthews. Of course, with the way his name is pronounced it took very little prompting for the halfling cleric to kick the door in and demand to know which of the people inside was "butt fruit."
Ahh, but how do you pronounce ixitxachitl?
Our GM has us facing the minions of Baphomet, Demon Lord of Minotaurs. Unfortunately, he consistently pronounces it "Bahamut," much to the dismay of our paladins.
Someone deserves to be cruelly awakened. Baff-oh-met is not[ the same as Baa-haa-mut!
As for 'ixitxachitl', exactly how the 2nd Ed Monster Manual told me to pronounce it, all those years ago - ISH-it-SHACK-itl. :)
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I seem to recall a much older article of Dragon telling me it was "ick-ZITS-a-chitl," so I'll stick with that.
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During a Star Wars game:
The group includes a droid named A-R-D, usually pronounced Ard.
GM: "To hit ARD..."
Me: "Would that be a ThARD roll?"
Another player: "It's not that ThARD."
Now I wonder how many members on this board know what Thac0 is, or that joke doesn't make any sense.
Given the last few posts, at least three of us. :)
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I remember Thac0.
A few years ago I was DMing a group that included my wife, daughter, another couple, and another old college friend. The group decided they wanted to try to talk their way out of the situation, so I asked if any of them wanted to use diplomacy.
They all look at each other, obviously hoping someone else would speak up. It was very quiet.
And then my daughter, who was about 17 at the time and playing a "feral Halfling" (6/6 barbarian/fighter with a bastard sword), very sheepishly looks up and in this quiet little voice, almost as a question, and says, "I have intimidate..."
The place erupted with laughter, just because of the way she said it.
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It's not really a one-liner, but I found this exchange quite amusing.
In a somewhat gritty sci-fi game, my spouse is playing a character who's very good at Disguise. Their ship had landed on a planet that was experiencing an epidemic of fever. The party has an NPC teen girl with them who gets into a lot of trouble (she's basically the DMPC). She failed her Con save and caught the fever, which left her unconscious for a while.
My spouse's PC looked after her until her condition improved enough that she was probably about to awaken. Then the PC went to his cabin and put on old-age makeup. When the NPC woke, my spouse's PC exclaimed, "Thank god! You've been asleep for 25 years!" My spouse then continued to try to convince the NPC that she really had been unconscious that long. Even when another PC appeared without any age makeup, he tried to tell the girl that this was actually the daughter of the original PC.
The GM kept rolling Sense Motive to disbelieve the lies, but he repeatedly rolled really low scores. It wasn't until my spouse made up a completely ridiculous story that the GM ruled it gave the NPC a bonus to her Sense Motive, and the girl was finally able to realize that it was a prank.
While traveling with a caravan transporting arms and armor to Absalom, our Vanara Maneuver Master Monk spotted a shady dude up ahead in a tree. She then proceeded to leap from the caravan and land on the branch next to said shady guy (61 on acrobatics) and points her staff at him with one hand waving the tip a few inches from his nose.
"FOOL! The first rule of ambushing a caravan is, don't! The second rule is *trip attempt*"
The bandit should apologise and request to become a disciple.
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Last night we had another session of a new D&D 5e campaign. I'm playing a warlock. My character is a teenaged boy who hasn't yet figured out how to talk to girls. He met up with one of the other PCs at a tavern, where his friend was dining with a pretty girl who kept trying to talk to my PC. He was very embarrassed.
My PC has a very pale complexion, so when the GM said the girl kept talking to him, I described him as blushing bright red. The other players all had fun having their PCs make comments about why my PC was so red, and asking him if he was sick.
My PC has also taken the 'Mask of Many Faces' eldritch invocation, which allows him to use 'disguise self' at will. During the discussion of his blushing, one of the other players suddenly exclaimed, "You could have used your 'disguise self' to make yourself look like yourself, only without the blush!"
I wish I'd thought of that. :)
Also from last night's session:
We had just slain three thugs who tried to ambush us in the street. Our party wizard had blasted one of them with a 'witch bolt' spell. After he died, she was so angry she blasted his corpse a second time.
GM: "The corpse jerks and dances. See, the dead *can* dance!"
We have a running joke from an old Star Wars campaign - when someone gets killed in Star Wars, we say, "Smoke comes out his blaster hole".
One of the players in the D&D game is the GM of the Star Wars game. After the corpse was blasted a second time, he remarked: "Smoke rolls out of his 'witch bolt' hole."
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"You'd be surprised how much the judicious application of a torch to the face can accomplish."
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son, age 10, party elf rogue, gets snuck up on by a tentacled monster called a grell. he's grappled.
DM: "Slithering tentacles engulf you, what do you do, elf snot"
Dustin: "I'll start by cutting off its testacle's, then shove them in its beak so it can't bite me."
[stunned silence]
I start to snicker. Dm goes red trying to contain himself. other players have no such luck.
We rolling for 15min before I'm able to explain to Dustin the anatomy of what he said.
Never too old for hentai xD
There's hentai, and then there's tentacles. The two are completely separate things :P
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After reading the "Modify Memory" spell where it says "You reach into the subject's mind and modify as many as 5 minutes of its memories..."
Me: Ooh! Can you modify five minutes so they remember it as 45 minutes? Cuz that would be useful.
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The group I run on a biweekly basis is playing their way through book 1 of Legacy of Fire (minor spoiler ahead).
After cleaning out the entire monastary, developing a deep-seated loathing and hatred for the entire pugwampi subspecies of the gremlin race in the process, and inventing the eponymous "Verajka's Babboon Handpuppet" (Verajka being the group's female half-orc barbarian) as a means of severely grossing out fellow partymembers, the NPCs finally move in, taking up residence in various rooms around the complex.
Dashki, the gnoll expert and all-round loathsome bastard, moves into his room and discovers that at one point, golden plaques have adorned the walls, but that these have been stolen, leaving only a few scraps of gold leaf behind.
Incredibly annoyed by this and realizing that a source of quick and easy revenue has slipped through his grubby fingers, he shouts out loud enough for everyone to hear him: "WHERE'S THE GOLD? DAMMIT, WHAT'S AN HONEST THIEF SUPPOSED TO DO?!"
To wit, the group's sardonic half-elven ranger turns around and shouts back in a perfect deadpan: "TAKE UP POLITICS!"
Aaaaand further play had to be postponed for five minutes while the GM recovered.
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I'm not sure whether that sounds worse in British English or American English!
(I'm not wearing trousers, versus I'm going commando!)
I'm not sure whether that sounds worse in British English or American English!
(I'm not wearing trousers, versus I'm going commando!)
Going commando means no underwear, not going without pants/trousers. If you wanted a more british version of 'going commando' it would probably use the word 'knickers' or possibly 'skivvies'.
Going commando means no underwear, not going without pants/trousers. If you wanted a more british version of 'going commando' it would probably use the word 'knickers' or possibly 'skivvies'.
Given that pants in British English are underwear, someone not wearing pants is, to use a probably non-British phrase, 'going commando'.
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The rogue attacked a yuan-ti with his rapier, rolled a natural 1, and said "She didn't get the point."
He earned an Inspiration point back.
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Rookie player in her first campaign, viewing the Colossal Red Dragon miniature being 'deployed' onto the battlemat.
" They make miniatures that big?! Holy cr*p!! "
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I have at least one character doing the kilt with no skivvies underneath. Proper kilt wear is important. Getting caught with skivvies on under a kilt is a punishable offense you know.
Inquisitive lady: "Tell me, Hamish, what's worn under the kilt?"
Hamish: "Nothing - it's all in perfect working orderrrr!"
Hehehe. :D
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I have at least one character doing the kilt with no skivvies underneath. Proper kilt wear is important. Getting caught with skivvies on under a kilt is a punishable offense you know.** spoiler omitted **
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From a New World of Darkness Hunter game:
My character is a portly mortician with a bad limp. The rest of the cell had set off in a hot pursuit footchase after some guys who abducted an NPC that we were hunting with. My guys tries to keep up, but being the sort of person he is, can't. He arrives just in time to see everyone else stealing a guy's car and chasing off after a van. So my guy just ambles back over to his own car, and goes back to the main safehouse in the city, where a higher-ranked member of the organization is.
Bossman: "Fred, where's the rest of your cell?"
My Hunter: "Oh, they went chasing after some crazies who kidnapped Billy. Oh, by the way, someone kidnapped Billy."
Bossman: "... So wait, you're telling me we lost a Hunter?"
My Hunter: *completely off-handedly* "Nope. Pretty sure we just lost four."
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Last night, on Legacy of Fire:
Barbarian: "That's the third time tonight you guys kill-steal from me! [Directed at ranger] Second time from you!"
Ranger: "Kill them quicker."
Last night, on Legacy of Fire:
Barbarian: "That's the third time tonight you guys kill-steal from me! [Directed at ranger] Second time from you!"
Ranger: "Kill them quicker."
It wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't for the archery fighter implying that she was better for killing more enemies... and she was the one who stole the other kill.