Strangest argument for or against a ruling?


Pathfinder First Edition General Discussion

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MageHunter wrote:

I wish I could find the thread but I think once someone was arguing that vampires had functional reproductive organs, since by RAW it didn't say they couldn't have children. Then people just argued about biology of dead things and talking about if skeletons could reproduce.

Edit: Here it is!

Funnily enough they also argue about the definition of immortality. Haven't thoroughly read it through but probably some laughs there.

That was a fun one, though I fear my point may have been missed...


BigNorseWolf wrote:
Azten wrote:


Off the top of my head, Torag's Paladin code allows lying.
No. it allows misleading.

Aaand the thread has just become ironic.

...Or perhaps just unfortunate?


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Tequila Sunrise wrote:
BigNorseWolf wrote:
Azten wrote:


Off the top of my head, Torag's Paladin code allows lying.
No. it allows misleading.

Aaand the thread has just become ironic.

...Or perhaps just unfortunate?

why's it an "or" question... : )


Jader7777 wrote:
Ravingdork wrote:
I recall a thread where some weirdo tried to make the argument that you could use purify food and water on fecal matter to turn it back into nourishing food again. ;-)
No, because then your cantrips would be emulating a higher level spell, Heroes Feast.

Heroes Feast does a lot more than just provide edible food, so that's not a very good comparison.

Anyway, I'd say take that argument to the thread itself, rather than bog down this one with it.

Liberty's Edge

Ravingdork wrote:

I recall a thread where some weirdo tried to make the argument that you could use purify food and water on fecal matter to turn it back into nourishing food again. ;-)

That one really took the (chocolate) cake for me. Just...just chew on that one for a while. lol.

That was a pretty crappy thing to do with a spell ;) Still bonus points for recycling I suppose.


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memorax wrote:
Ravingdork wrote:

I recall a thread where some weirdo tried to make the argument that you could use purify food and water on fecal matter to turn it back into nourishing food again. ;-)

That one really took the (chocolate) cake for me. Just...just chew on that one for a while. lol.

That was a pretty crappy thing to do with a spell ;) Still bonus points for recycling I suppose.

I doubt the participants in that thread appreciate Ravingdork serving as a stool pigeon in this one.


That bulls strength wouldn't give strength and a half to damage to 2 handed weapons because it was a temporary bonus

That being tripped and falling prone from being tripped were two different things (this one turned out to be official)


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Plausible Pseudonym wrote:
memorax wrote:
Ravingdork wrote:

I recall a thread where some weirdo tried to make the argument that you could use purify food and water on fecal matter to turn it back into nourishing food again. ;-)

That one really took the (chocolate) cake for me. Just...just chew on that one for a while. lol.

That was a pretty crappy thing to do with a spell ;) Still bonus points for recycling I suppose.
I doubt the participants in that thread appreciate Ravingdork serving as a stool pigeon in this one.

And now this thread's gone down the toilet.

Silver Crusade

Sundakan wrote:
Ravingdork wrote:

I recall a thread where some weirdo tried to make the argument that you could use purify food and water on fecal matter to turn it back into nourishing food again. ;-)

That one really took the (chocolate) cake for me. Just...just chew on that one for a while. lol.

There's a spell that exists to turn your piss into the most delicious beer or wine you've ever tasted, so it's not that far-fetched.

While seemingly ridiculous there are a number of animals rabbits among them that actually will reconsume their feces. In the case of rabbits they do so in part because they do not fully digest things the first time through. Yes yes don't mix reality with fantasy and all that. But if the standard is ridiculous it should not just be silly because someone thinks so either.


MageHunter wrote:

I wish I could find the thread but I think once someone was arguing that vampires had functional reproductive organs, since by RAW it didn't say they couldn't have children. Then people just argued about biology of dead things and talking about if skeletons could reproduce.

Edit: Here it is!

Funnily enough they also argue about the definition of immortality. Haven't thoroughly read it through but probably some laughs there.

That's one of the concepts that always bugged me. I'm firmly in the 'no sex for vampires because biology' camp. It's an obnoxious trope I'd love to see die. Forever Knight handeled it really well and is still my favorite interpretation. Instead of actual sex... once a vampire got too excited... he fed.

HOWEVER... The introduction of Dhampirs that explicity state that they have one vampire parent, and that parent is usually the father, and the mother rarely survives the birth... really stacks against my personal preferences. Aparrantely simple biology or not... Vampires reproduce with human females... >.<


phantom1592 wrote:
MageHunter wrote:

I wish I could find the thread but I think once someone was arguing that vampires had functional reproductive organs, since by RAW it didn't say they couldn't have children. Then people just argued about biology of dead things and talking about if skeletons could reproduce.

Edit: Here it is!

Funnily enough they also argue about the definition of immortality. Haven't thoroughly read it through but probably some laughs there.

That's one of the concepts that always bugged me. I'm firmly in the 'no sex for vampires because biology' camp. It's an obnoxious trope I'd love to see die. Forever Knight handeled it really well and is still my favorite interpretation. Instead of actual sex... once a vampire got too excited... he fed.

HOWEVER... The introduction of Dhampirs that explicity state that they have one vampire parent, and that parent is usually the father, and the mother rarely survives the birth... really stacks against my personal preferences. Aparrantely simple biology or not... Vampires reproduce with human females... >.<

From how I read it, they bite the mother and magically impregnate them. Some people think it's like that, but it's probably just the mother survived the bite.


MageHunter wrote:
From how I read it, they bite the mother and magically impregnate them. Some people think it's like that, but it's probably just the mother survived the bite.

That's the 'Blade' example... though that movie also introduced the idea of 'pure blood' vampires who were born vampires.. so they went with both concepts.

Pathfinder had this to say,

Blood of Night wrote:

Few women voluntarily desire to breed with a vampire, and few vampires have the proper vitality to be fertile, so the unnatural conception that results in a dhampir is incredibly rare, and usually dangerous. Many dhampirs die unborn at the hands of istraught mothers or grimfaced vampire hunters, or they inadvertently kill their mothers before they come to term and expire in stale wombs. Those who survive gestation and birth are pained upon emergence at the sudden light of the outside world, as well as either the horror of those expecting a normal child, or the gleeful evil of their wicked parents. Few have the chance to mature into creatures of value and dignity, so it is unsurprising that most fall into evil habits.

This section refers to a dhampir's vampire parent as "father," for it is almost always the case that a dhampir is born of a female living ortal and a male vampire. It is unknown whether this is because a female vampire's womb is barren or because no mortal man's seed can survive long enough to impregnate her. As rare and legendary as dhampir births are, verifiable stories of female vampires birthing a dhampir child are all but unheard of.

The issue I have with the 'biting' method... is that if they bite a pregnant woman, then they aren't really the 'father'. They just infected someone else's kid.

It's something that comes up in a lot of Vampire games... Vampire the requiem had a whole chapter on the hows and whys... but yeah, the general idea is that 'natural' conception requiring vitality and is incredibily rare... is certainly an option. In a world of magic, I'm sure there are other ways too, but with the litany of media out there showing vampires as sexy beasts, Paizo wouldn't close the door on that stupid illogical trope.


BigNorseWolf wrote:
Azten wrote:

Off the top of my head, Torag's Paladin code allows lying.

No. it allows misleading.

"Where are the other dwarves?"

"I saw them heading south" I KNOW they're going to north but they did go south as then went from my living room into the kitchen and that was the last time i saw them.

Paladin codes don't override the regular paladin restrictions, they're guidelines for what kind of paladin a deity should have. ?(remember there's more than one lawful good answer)

It does allow murder of people trying to surrender though, unless its strategic to let them live. Considering letting your enemies live is a bad thing quite a bit of the time....


Azten wrote:
BigNorseWolf wrote:
Azten wrote:

Off the top of my head, Torag's Paladin code allows lying.

No. it allows misleading.

"Where are the other dwarves?"

"I saw them heading south" I KNOW they're going to north but they did go south as then went from my living room into the kitchen and that was the last time i saw them.

Paladin codes don't override the regular paladin restrictions, they're guidelines for what kind of paladin a deity should have. ?(remember there's more than one lawful good answer)

It does allow murder of people trying to surrender though, unless its strategic to let them live. Considering letting your enemies live is a bad thing quite a bit of the time....

The ability to refuse a surrender is what makes a Paladin viable. If not then every enemy with a decent bluff score could feign surrender.


A paladin is viable regardless of if an enemy tries to surrender or not. Sense Motive is a class skill.


I have watched a paladin declare himself a religion in order to allow himself a very 'loose' moral code. I allowed it because it was a friendly game and it became a running joke.


A few times I've had someone tell me that something should behave a certain way in Pathfinder because it behaved that way in real life.


Water balloons.


Azten wrote:
A paladin is viable regardless of if an enemy tries to surrender or not. Sense Motive is a class skill.

That's a nice idea in theory though Paladins are already scraping the barrel for skills and wisdom is one of the few stats they don't need.

However most Paladins in Golarion do NOT have to accept surrender. I know in Iomedae's Paladin code they specifically give the Paladin the choice.


an oathbound paladin can lie and kill surrendered opponents


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Vampires can breed as shown in Wes Schneider's Bloodbound, my favorite in the Pathfinder Tales line.

Yes, Vampires shouldn't biologically be able to breed. They also shouldn't biologically be able to exist.

They've always been wrapped up in sex, lust, and rape as themes for their literature. Of course, pregnancy is going to happen in some of the stories.

Frankly, I'm okay with female vampires giving birth if only because it's far more uncommon. PCs should be interesting and try to be unique after all.


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Azten wrote:


It does allow murder of people trying to surrender though, unless its strategic to let them live. Considering letting your enemies live is a bad thing quite a bit of the time....

Its a different world than where we come from.


HWalsh wrote:
Azten wrote:
BigNorseWolf wrote:
Azten wrote:

Off the top of my head, Torag's Paladin code allows lying.

No. it allows misleading.

"Where are the other dwarves?"

"I saw them heading south" I KNOW they're going to north but they did go south as then went from my living room into the kitchen and that was the last time i saw them.

Paladin codes don't override the regular paladin restrictions, they're guidelines for what kind of paladin a deity should have. ?(remember there's more than one lawful good answer)

It does allow murder of people trying to surrender though, unless its strategic to let them live. Considering letting your enemies live is a bad thing quite a bit of the time....
The ability to refuse a surrender is what makes a Paladin viable. If not then every enemy with a decent bluff score could feign surrender.

I'm wondering if, somewhere out there, there's a Paladin player out there who is completely frustrated by his GM on something like this.

Imagine: A band of marauding goblins are going around eating babies in orphanages and replacing them with goblin babies, and the Paladin is out to stop them. However, any time the Paladin gets near the goblins, they drop their weapons and reach for the sky, and the Paladin is forced to accept their surrender and chain them up. But whenever he walks over to chain them up, they all try to bite him and scatter - then put their hands up. So he repeats this as they continue to harass him and untie their allies, then surrender. And being a reasonable person, he puts up for only so long. After several more wounds, he finally decides to strike one of them down. As he does so, the GM says: "As you run your blade through the goblin's heart, your blood runs cold and you feel your divine prowess slip away. You have fallen!"


Chengar Qordath wrote:
Jader7777 wrote:
Ravingdork wrote:
I recall a thread where some weirdo tried to make the argument that you could use purify food and water on fecal matter to turn it back into nourishing food again. ;-)
No, because then your cantrips would be emulating a higher level spell, Heroes Feast.

Heroes Feast does a lot more than just provide edible food, so that's not a very good comparison.

Anyway, I'd say take that argument to the thread itself, rather than bog down this one with it.

Oh. Good one. Bog ;)


I would rule that you can totally cast Purify Food and Drink on fecal matter. If you are a dog or rabbit caster.


I had a character cast Gentle Repose on a cow husk repeatedly instead of dealing with Rations on a long caravan. Keep the food fresh that way :)


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My Self wrote:

I'm wondering if, somewhere out there, there's a Paladin player out there who is completely frustrated by his GM on something like this.

Imagine: A band of marauding goblins are going around eating babies in orphanages and replacing them with goblin babies, and the Paladin is out to stop them. However, any time the Paladin gets near the goblins, they drop their weapons and reach for the sky, and the Paladin is forced to accept their surrender and chain them up. But whenever he walks over to chain them up, they all try to bite him and scatter - then put their hands up. So he repeats this as they continue to harass him and untie their allies, then surrender. And being a reasonable person, he puts up for only so long. After several more wounds, he finally decides to strike one of them down. As he does so, the GM says: "As you run your blade through the goblin's heart, your blood runs cold and you feel your divine prowess slip away. You have fallen!"

Though I agree that this sounds like a douche GM, you know, nonlethal damage is a thing. If you want to arrest someone, their cooperation isn't mandatory.


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My Self wrote:


I'm wondering if, somewhere out there, there's a Paladin player out there who is completely frustrated by his GM on something like this.

Imagine: A band of marauding goblins are going around eating babies in orphanages and replacing them with goblin babies, and the Paladin is out to stop them. However, any time the Paladin gets near the goblins, they drop their weapons and reach for the sky, and the Paladin is forced to accept their surrender and chain them up. But whenever he walks over to chain them up, they all try to bite him and scatter - then put their hands up. So he repeats this as they continue to harass him and untie their allies, then surrender. And being a reasonable person, he puts up for only so long. After several more wounds, he finally decides to strike one of them down. As he does so, the GM says: "As you run your blade through the goblin's heart, your blood runs cold and you feel your divine prowess slip away. You have fallen!"

I have had something similar happen. Not quite like this. An Assassin who was the GMs personal avatar.

Whenever we beat him, he'd surrender and always beat the charges. It got annoying. Finally I, playing my Pallie, had enough of it.

I CGD'ed him.

When the GM, spitting mad, tried to fall me I pointed out that my Pallie code never said I had to accept surrender. The GM countered with the fact that his bluff convinced me that he was really going to turn over a new leaf this time. I returned explaining that while I believed what he believed what he was saying, he had said that before and had slipped so, since he honestly repented honestly the only way to ensure his soul remained pure was to stop him from being able to slip again.

Add to that an actual quote from Gary Gygax confirming that such behavior is within the scope of a Paladin and I grudgingly stopped the fall.


Flying does not provoke an attack of opporunity, so you can fly through threatened squares without ever provoking


The feat Fast Healer does not work with a Spelleater Bloodrager's Blood of Life, even though it's an (Su) ability.


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AnonMD wrote:
The feat Fast Healer does not work with a Spelleater Bloodrager's Blood of Life, even though it's an (Su) ability.

This is actually the subject of some debate. Many people argue that fast healing, whether it is granted from an (Ex), (Sp) or (Su) source, is always a (Ex) ability, and therefore Fast Healer doesn't work. Even a spell like Infernal Healing doesn't work with it in some peoples opinions. This is not an outrageous ruling, because we just don't actually know. Personally, I'd have it proc ONCE from the first point per new rage, and that's it. If you could rage cycle, you could proc it multiple times, but that's it.

Scythia wrote:
Water balloons.

I want to play a Eldritch Archer Magus that uses water balloons to deliver Snowballs. It will be GLORIOUS.


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Scythia wrote:
Water balloons.

Look, EVERYBODY knows they shouldn't be a viable combat style.


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My Self wrote:


I'm wondering if, somewhere out there, there's a Paladin player out there who is completely frustrated by his GM on something like this.

Imagine: A band of marauding goblins are going around eating babies in orphanages and replacing them with goblin babies, and the Paladin is out to stop them. However, any time the Paladin gets near the goblins, they drop their weapons and reach for the sky, and the Paladin is forced to accept their surrender and chain them up. But whenever he walks over to chain them up, they all try to bite him and scatter - then put their hands up. So he repeats this as they continue to harass him and untie their allies, then surrender. And being a reasonable person, he puts up for only so long. After several more wounds, he finally decides to strike one of them down. As he does so, the GM says: "As you run your blade through the goblin's heart, your blood runs cold and you feel your divine prowess slip away. You have fallen!"

In cases like this, it's a good idea to cut a swath through the innocents and orphans to save them from the fate of being goblin-murdered. If your DM wants your paladin to fall so badly, you should show him how a paladin truly falls!


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Garbage-Tier Waifu wrote:


Scythia wrote:
Water balloons.
I want to play a Eldritch Archer Magus that uses water balloons to deliver Snowballs. It will be GLORIOUS.

Nice, find space to get a level of Warpriest, and it could really work. :P


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Can a warpriest select the feat "weapon focus: Water balloon"?


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Johnny_Devo wrote:
Can a warpriest select the feat "weapon focus: Water balloon"?

Well, you'll have to ask if you get proficiency through Throw Anything, and that's a can of worms in of itself ;)

(or a custom god with water balloons as a favoured weapon. We'll call this god...Clownius, god of jesters, joviality and japes.)


Sundakan wrote:
Scythia wrote:
Water balloons.
Look, EVERYBODY knows they shouldn't be a viable combat style.

Wait a second...


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Shield master, it doesn't specify which penalties i don't take, so i don't take ANY penalties. I can throw tiny sized shields the length of a football field with 4 negative levels using both hands and no penalties.

intimidate someone from half a mile away by shouting at them.


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Garbage-Tier Waifu wrote:
Johnny_Devo wrote:
Can a warpriest select the feat "weapon focus: Water balloon"?

Well, you'll have to ask if you get proficiency through Throw Anything, and that's a can of worms in of itself ;)

(or a custom god with water balloons as a favoured weapon. We'll call this god...Clownius, god of jesters, joviality and japes.)

Same pantheon as Banjo, I assume?


phantom1592 wrote:
I had a character cast Gentle Repose on a cow husk repeatedly instead of dealing with Rations on a long caravan. Keep the food fresh that way :)

Kill cow, animate dead (zombie cow), Gentle Repose- self propelled rations. For added fun, send it out ahead of the party with a Magic Mouth that if cow is attacked says "Moo, somethings eating me".


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Accurséd necowmancer!


Kobold Cleaver wrote:
I'm the one who elevated the discussion to the next logical subject, "Can vampires poop?"

Sounds like a right fair question tah me, since the question of whether skeletons poop has been asked a'fore.


Had a player insisting that rapiers were light weapons, because it was finesse-able. Other than that, I really don't think that they ever presented an argument.


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Tequila Sunrise wrote:


I think it came from the same alternate universe that most alignment restrictions come from. As Ventnor points out, it's not hard to come up with justifications for these sort of things. I can even see a justification for the OP's example:

Sah wrote:
I recently saw someone argue that you shouldn't be able to multi class paladins and monks because both require them to be lawful, and that got me thinking, what is the strangest argument you have seen for our against something?

Paladins and monks are both very orderly and culturally-specific classes, concerned with their culturual integrity, as exhibited by their Lawful requirements. And so they just don't mix. Also, something something discipline...

Frankly, I'm 100% confident that if these restrictions were RAW -- and especially if they had been handed down from old school D&D as so many of these things are -- we'd have mobs of traditionalists arguing that "Of course that's the way it is, the only way I want to play the game, totally makes sense, stop rocking the boat!"

I've previously proposed an argument as to why barbarians "should" be lawful. A barbarian is someone who lives as their ancestors have for millennia, in the same region as their ancestors, hunting and gathering with the same techniques. The barbarian is the embodiment of tradition, and hence must be lawful.

As you say, it's pretty easy to claim that anything "should" be forced into any particular alignment. It's especially so with respect to the lawful/chaotic alignment axis, since the definitions are a lot more vague than good/evil.

As another example, I've seen it argued that all mindless creatures must be chaotic-aligned, because they are incapable of long-term planning. On the other hand, I've seen people argue that all mindless undead (and possibly other mindless creatures) must be lawful: once dominated, they are incapable of not following orders, and hence are defined by their lawfulness. Still others insist that mindless creatures "must" be neutral on the lawful/chaotic axis, because "that's what it's always been." Ironically, that isn't how it's always been. Going through all my 3.5 monster books, mindless undead seem to be switched between lawful, neutral, and chaotic with great frequency depending on the mood of whoever was writing that particular statblock.

Similar arguments can and have been made about mindless creatures' good/evil-axis alignment. In AD&D, mindless undead were neutral. In the 3e core rules, they were changed to evil. The reason they were changed, according to the lead designers, was not because of any long philosophical argument, but a simple mechanical one: they wanted skeletons and zombies to be hurt by a paladin's Smite. (It hadn't occurred to them at the time to simply adjust Smite Evil to harm all undead.) As with the lawful vs chaotic undead flip flop, the supplements didn't all agree, as certain supplements reaffirmed that mindless undead were all evil whilst others reverted them to being neutral.

As in the case of every other alignment restriction, we have some self-proclaimed traditionalists demanding that all mindless undead must remain neutral, because "that's what it's always been," while other self-proclaimed traditionalists (with shorter memories, apparently) demand that all mindless undead must be evil, because "that's what it's always been."
I have little doubt that if Skip had decided back in 2000 to make all undead good, then we would have the same chorus of "traditionalists" demanding that mindless undead be kept always-good, and complaining about those awful Special Snowflake MMO non-good undead:D


Your Unwashed Messes wrote:
Kobold Cleaver wrote:
I'm the one who elevated the discussion to the next logical subject, "Can vampires poop?"

Sounds like a right fair question tah me, since the question of whether skeletons poop has been asked a'fore.

I've never understood where all the blood that vampires consume goes.

When I was new to RPGs V:tM was my first game and I had a hard time figuring out how it worked. They don't poop. They don't vomit the blood they have consumed. They take the life power to sustain themselves from the blood, but they don't physichally evaporate it, or do they? That's what I thought and I took me too much time taking "supernatural or magic unexplained system" as a suitable explanation.

Silver Crusade

Kileanna wrote:
Your Unwashed Messes wrote:
Kobold Cleaver wrote:
I'm the one who elevated the discussion to the next logical subject, "Can vampires poop?"

Sounds like a right fair question tah me, since the question of whether skeletons poop has been asked a'fore.

I've never understood where all the blood that vampires consume goes.

When I was new to RPGs V:tM was my first game and I had a hard time figuring out how it worked. They don't poop. They don't vomit the blood they have consumed. They take the life power to sustain themselves from the blood, but they don't physichally evaporate it, or do they? That's what I thought and I took me too much time taking "supernatural or magic unexplained system" as a suitable explanation.

IIRC, they essentially burn it like fuel, only magically rather than literally. So, to put it in pseudoscientific terms, when used the "exhaust" ends up in some alternate metaphysical plane.


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I get it now but back to my stubborn young ages I'd try to give a scientific explanation to everything. It doesn't work, it only ruins the fun.


Kileanna wrote:
I get it now but back to my stubborn young ages I'd try to give a scientific explanation to everything. It doesn't work, it only ruins the fun.

Never tried using applied metaphysics, have you? A scientific explanation is derived from known laws about the universe, regardless of which laws and which universe.


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The Sideromancer wrote:
Kileanna wrote:
I get it now but back to my stubborn young ages I'd try to give a scientific explanation to everything. It doesn't work, it only ruins the fun.
Never tried using applied metaphysics, have you? A scientific explanation is derived from known laws about the universe, regardless of which laws and which universe.

I got into metaphysics later in life.


Rub-Eta wrote:
Had a player insisting that rapiers were light weapons, because it was finesse-able. Other than that, I really don't think that they ever presented an argument.

Ooh! How about, "Rapiers are light weapons because they weigh less than Light Maces?"

I guess inventing strange arguments is outside of the scope of this thread, though...

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