How do we defend a Large Town from an Undead Army?


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A party of 3rd level characters (Aasimar Paladin 3, Aasimar Sorcerer 3, [Custom Race] Warpriest 3, and a Half-Orc Sorcerer 1/Wizard 1/Magus 1) are in a large town in a world that had been decimated by necromantic phenomena. Scouts report to the town saying that an undead army is approaching and is roughly a week away. The town has large stone walls, but how else can the town prepare for the attack? What should the party do if the undead siege the town? What tactics are effective in fighting large numbers of undead in the field or in city streets?


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The Warpriest and Paladin need to get busy with 'Bless Water' and distribute the flasks of holy water to he brigade of volunteer defenders.


wands of fireball and what bofor said


if the party was level 4-6 would be easyer to handle


Paladins don't get spells until 4th level. And at 25 gp a pop for a flask of holy water, that's an expensive proposition for the Warpriest. Any ideas on how to work around that cost?


Any word from the scouts on the composition and size of the Undead army, and on who/what is directing the Undead army?

Maximize the town's defenses, but also stock up on food and water! This looks like it could be a long one . . . .


Likely composed primarily of Skeletons and Zombies. However, there are two global effects in play for this campaign.

1) Necromancy spells and spell-like abilities are cast at +2 caster level. Whenever a living creature dies, an 80% chance exists that it will spontaneously rise as a zombie in 1d4 rounds. In addition, the entire campaign setting is affected as if by a desecrate spell. Casting consecrate removes this effect in the spell’s area until its duration expires. In addition, the campaign setting is affected as if by an unhallow spell. Casting hallow removes this effect in the spell’s area. All conjuration (healing) spells and similar spell-like abilities are impeded, meaning that a caster must succeed on a Spellcraft check (DC 20 + the level of the spell) or lose the spell or spell slot without effect.

2) All spells and spell-like abilities that have the darkness descriptor are enhanced: They are cast as though affected by the Extend Spell feat, but do not require higher-level spell slots or longer casting times. The radius of illumination from natural light sources drops to 5 feet. Sunrise occurs 2 hours later than normal, and sunset occurs 2 hours earlier. Finally, average temperatures drop by 2 degrees all over the world.


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Undead hoards are not too clever, turn the town into a giant funnel and prepare area of effect attacks. Find safe place for the town folk, preferably divided into groups of soilders along with noncombatants. They need to be outfitted with a club, sword, crossbow and holy water and attack whatever tries to enter their buildings. Undead don't have seige weapons or decent climbing and acrobatics so even simple structures will keep them at bay,

Cheval de frise
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheval_de_frise

These are cheap and easy to make.

After all that is done just let things play out like a 'Home Alone' montage but with zombies.


Zombies come in a lot of varieties, including burning, fast, plague, and so on. There's also no way to produce enough holy water in that short an amount of time and with the limited resources available. I like the Cheval de Frise though. If we use oil all over the place, we risk setting the town on fire. Any other options for AOE attacks?


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Flee. Those global spell effects are real bad, being in a city under seige while 80% turn to zombies is going to make the situation go south quickly.

If you're brave you can try to waylay the army before they make it to the city, perhaps some scrimmage, if it's mostly unintelligent undead you may have a chance, but it's lead by anything intelligent time to run. I recommend getting access to planeshift.


How would a party of 3rd level characters get access to Planeshift? As a Paladin, abandoning the people in the city isn't really an option. This city is one of the few left left standing, we NEED to defend it, if the living are to survive.


You're going to need magical light sources from the sound of it. Ideally heightened continual flame, but even the light cantrip/orison would help if there are enough who can cast it. I have no idea how common minor magic is in your world.

Any static traps (pits, that cheval de frise, etc.) risk being overwhelmed by bodies with a mass rush of undead. Don't rely on them to stop an attack, just think of them as a means of thinning the herd. Portable traps - e.g. cauldrons of boiling liquid poured down from the walls - are good so long as you can supply them. Boiling pitch or even boiling water shouldn't set fires.

Watch out for incorporeal undead being used as the spearhead of an attack. A few shadows could decimate a gatehouse. That's where you want to concentrate whatever holy water you can make or find.


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you could dig a trench about 80 feet arround the wall and poor oil into it and have a flaming mote that can do fire damage to the undead trying to cross it make a funnel at the gate so you will only be fighting 1-2 undead at a time kill enough to level up a few times and should be alot easyer (3d6 flaming sphere and 3d6 positive channels)

@trimalchio no plainshift for them they are level 3 so unless they havent spent any on gear they wont have scrolls for it let alone the chance of buying one


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We really need a town map so we can 7 Samurai this for you.

http://www.thecinetourist.net/uploads/7/0/9/9/7099213/1797304.jpg?717


Here's an image of the town. The only difference is that the forest on the west side of the river has been cleared for decades.


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Evacuate all noncombatants if it is possible to do it safely. If 4 out of every 5 people come back as zombies, the last thing you need is to supply fresh bodies. Even decrepit, older citizens will come back as full-strength zombies.

Skeletons and zombies are weak to blunt and slashing weapons. If possible, make sure all defenders have a blunt and a slashing backup weapon. Daggers and shortswords are common slashing light weapons, and maces and light hammers are common bludgeoning light weapons.

Consider scouting out the zombies before they arrive. That way, you get a good sense of timing, as well as direction. If possible, you could set a fire in front of them if the force seems too large to turn back by less indiscriminately destructive means. Turns out that fire damage can cook skeletons just as well as zombies.

Ranged tactics are very important as well. Minimize situations where you could lose allies. Living creatures usually have a range and speed advantage over zombies, although archer skeletons can often match living creatures at range. If you can, try having a crossbow or longbow division harass zombies before they get to the walls. Regular zombies only go 30 ft/round, so a standard action shot and a 30 ft move action should keep skirmishing distance. If it turns out that you're fighting fast zombies, then your scouts haven't done a good enough job, and your skirmishing archer group is toast.

Water is a poor barrier against opponents who do not breathe, and though it will slow down movement, it will not prevent a large number of enemies at full combat capability from amassing at one watery point. With a map like the one presented, this basically means that all gates are possible entrances, although if you have a smart enemy tactician, you might also be facing an invasion from the sewers (if applicable).

If it comes to you fighting zombies in the streets, then you've lost. Up close, your natural speed and range advantage means squat, and incendiary tactics are hazardous to yourself as well. Combine that with the fact that zombies are actually in the town, biting your citizens, and you've got a situation that requires higher-level adventurers to solve.

Silver Crusade

Trebuchets for the skeleton horde and dismember the dead. It's the only way to be sure


Beware that if you use cheval de frise, fire will tend to shoot you in the foot, unless you make them out of metal or have spares that you can move into place and/or drop behind as the fire eats away at the first ones.

A moat filled with burning oil is potentially good, except you might not be able to get enough oil; also beware of hosing yourself (but not the Undead) with smoke, especially if you try to stretch the burning oil with wood and/or rubbish.

I like the idea of making a funnel. If you purposely leave gates open into channels guarded by cheval de frise or internal walls, with a series of dormant pit traps in the channels, with some kindling in them (see above about smoke hazard, but at least the source is much smaller than a whole moat), you could start just behind the outermost pit trap, draw some Undead in, spring the trap, throw burning oil down into it, fall back behind the next trap when the first one is about to get full or Undead otherwise start making their way out of it; rinse, and repeat. However, everything has to go just right, because of that 80% chance of dead people rising as Zombies.

With the horrific pro-Undead effects in your campaign world, it sounds like the best thing to do would be to evacuate. However, apart from people not wanting to leave, you might have the problem that they would have nowhere to go. So the best thing might be to make a fake town (with cheval de frise for walls) in the Undead's path, if their path can be predicted with certainty, and fortify it as above; fight as hard as you can to deplete their numbers, and then fall back; if it can be far enough in advance, and another predictable point in their path is closer to the town, have the townspeople build another fake town here, and rinse and repeat; then fall back to the real town and take them on when their numbers are reduced. If the Undead don't have a predictable path to your town, you'll have to do more conventional hit-and-run attacks to try to whittle them down. If these attacks cause them to divert from their path, you could try to lead them into an ambush or maybe even a fortified fake town as described above.


keep all none combatants arround the keep area if possible block off unnessesary roadways best you can get blunt arrows to deal with skeletal archers and raining arrows could be nice too try and keep them at a distance fortify the gates but make sure you create a funnel for the undead to be stuck in just incase the gates fall make sure your skirmishing group has a few tower shields in them to provide cover if the enemy has archers and deal with the enemy archers 1st unless theres a really big threat dig a trench arround the area about 100 feet from the walls so it you do need to set the area on fire it wont spread to the town have balistas mounted on the walls find out what way the undead are coming from and try and use hit and run tacktics before they arrive lower their numbers before they reach the town if they get into the funnel make sure its only wide enough for 1 undead to go threw at a time so you can have 1 front liner there with some friendly clerics spamming virtue,guidence and resistance along with any healing they might need durring the battle while archers shoot at the mass of undead in the funnel from rooftops


wish i could lend you guys some help with my antipaladin bloodrager graveknight it would be so much fun tearing up the undead hords after i take controll over a good portion of them


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http://imgur.com/9WXMCcx

1 & 2
The fastest way to block these goons is to use the river water fill an extended mote. You need to leave the front gate open and this will create your natural funnel. The walls should be impossible for undead to scale but if they try simply dump ricks on their heads.

3
Fortify the north gate and protect the bridge. Only allow access to people leaving the town.

4
Baricade the town so that the only road is a long stretch down the middle, litter this with caltrops, pit traps and other mundane traps.

5
Place your soilders on the rooftops and have them fall back as the hordes advance. Slings are great weapons in these situations. Don't forget useful environmental attacks like rolling logs, rocks and oil slicks.

6
You want to make your final stand here at the inner fortifications. As your soilders retreat from 5 have them mount the walls (hopefully you have ballista and catapult available) and rain death on anything that comes close.

7
All your noncombatants should be brought into the keep, keep them well fed, motivated and ready to move should the need arise. More details about this later.

8
Escape route. When too many nat 1s ruin your day or the DM decided you don't get to win you need to escape. The citizens should be given this option too because letting them be consumed by the horde will only make the undead stronger.

Secret detail 9
Don't let anyone else know about the full details of this plan. You might have a spy amongst you- if possible try to give any associates false information and if the undead army adapts accordingly you know who to blame. Tell the citizens to follow a select few guards who are told about 7 just before the horde reach the front gate, use a bell or other obvious alert to signal this. If things go awry don't forget about plan 8, you can rig the bridge to explode/burn/collapse should the horde try to follow after you pass across, this should give you a head start on finding somewhere else to hide.


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Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Many good suggestions here. I would add (and use or not as you see fit):

You need intel. Size, composition, leadership, waves, equipment, seige engines, or single mass, etc...all of these will impact the conflict.

Brief the militia (if there is one) on undead and their resistances...use slashing on zombies, blunt of skeletons for example.

Also what assets do you have? How many are trained militia? What other assets like gear? What reserves of consumables (ammo?) are available. What is the town willing to offer as help?

Way too many variables...so making some assumptions.

Ideally you are facing non sentients with no gear. If zombies then you could fire and fall back all day. If possible use mounted forces you want to have your scouts back ahead of the horde.. Use advance scouts as skirmishers. Under no circumstances do they engage the main force in melee. If it is a lone stray or two, fine,..but use ranged and if necessary reach weapons. This should be your first line.

Second line. I see lots of woods outside of town... this is good. Create funnels here...and firebreaks. Prepare the woods for a forest fire. If you time it right you can catch many of the horde in the woods when they are fully ablaze.

Third line is the town itself...the approaches and walls. Meanwhile the bulk of the town must add to existing defenses. Funneling as mentioned is an excellent idea. Create kill zones/ boxes. Create difficult terrain on these approaches.

Fourth line is inside the town. If you have enough skilled carpenters, makes some makeshift braced walls with gaps wide enough for polearms but not for bodies to get through on both sides of these funnels. If you don't then tear down some houses to fill all the gaps between the buildings. Board up windows, block off doors like you are expecting a hurricane. Make each of those main roads into town your killing zones. If you can do trenchworks in a zig zagging fashion to further slow down the horde, so much the better.

Have ranged folks fire from rooftops. Have planks laid in advance on these roofs...if these zombies / skeletons suddenly make climb checks then fall back and drop the planks as you go.

+1 on evac all non-combatants to the keep. Also have a way for you outer forces on the walls/rooftops or manning the kill zones a way to fall back to the keep if it goes south. That is your fifth line. Hopefully you won't have to evac out the postern gate or tunnel...since it seems that outside of town is nothing but undead...

Assuming you will also have forces on the walls with ranged weapons.

Alchemical consumables are unfortunately too expensive...but if the town has any to spare, use them. Even a few smokesticks means you have partial concealment.

If the zombies / skeles attack from the water, consider them as lower priority. You want to focus on the ones on land. Flaming areas are fine...for example if that bridge is difficult terrain and on fire (assuming it is stone) then anyone who marches across will literally be toast before they get all the way across. Lamp oil as a base and ignite with alchemical fire / flaming arrows so no one is fumbling with flint/steel.


Kai_G wrote:

Likely composed primarily of Skeletons and Zombies. However, there are two global effects in play for this campaign.

1) Necromancy spells and spell-like abilities are cast at +2 caster level. Whenever a living creature dies, an 80% chance exists that it will spontaneously rise as a zombie in 1d4 rounds. In addition, the entire campaign setting is affected as if by a desecrate spell. Casting consecrate removes this effect in the spell’s area until its duration expires. In addition, the campaign setting is affected as if by an unhallow spell. Casting hallow removes this effect in the spell’s area. All conjuration (healing) spells and similar spell-like abilities are impeded, meaning that a caster must succeed on a Spellcraft check (DC 20 + the level of the spell) or lose the spell or spell slot without effect.

2) All spells and spell-like abilities that have the darkness descriptor are enhanced: They are cast as though affected by the Extend Spell feat, but do not require higher-level spell slots or longer casting times. The radius of illumination from natural light sources drops to 5 feet. Sunrise occurs 2 hours later than normal, and sunset occurs 2 hours earlier. Finally, average temperatures drop by 2 degrees all over the world.

Don't take this threat lightly... an undead army for your level can be composed of these creatures.

- Skeleton
- Zombie
- Allip
- Beheaded
- Draugr (there's a river near the town, so...)
- Ghoul
- Vampire spawn

As for defending, well:
- the warpriest and paladin can take out a few undead normally
- the sorcerer has more blasting power than the multiclass spellcaster
- evacuating would be a better option, due to the necromancy effects
- maybe diverting the undead away from the bridge, so after evacuating, burn down the bridge


Jader7777 wrote:

Undead hoards are not too clever, turn the town into a giant funnel and prepare area of effect attacks. Find safe place for the town folk, preferably divided into groups of soilders along with noncombatants. They need to be outfitted with a club, sword, crossbow and holy water and attack whatever tries to enter their buildings. Undead don't have seige weapons or decent climbing and acrobatics so even simple structures will keep them at bay,

Cheval de frise
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheval_de_frise

These are cheap and easy to make.

After all that is done just let things play out like a 'Home Alone' montage but with zombies.

Scout ahead, though. You shouldn't base your lives and the lives of the town on an assumption that the Undead hoards don't have a mind among them. They might be lead by a lich general who set the skeletons at work building trebuchets and battering rams. There might be Vampire agents already at work in your village.

Kai_G wrote:
A party of 3rd level characters

That makes those things far less likely. It probably really is just Night of the Living Dead. Bait them, funnel them, corral them, then excecute them.


We're assuming the GM is making this level appropriate. If there was a lich or vampire they'd have no chance other than running away.

Stuff like shadows or ghosts would make it difficult but if the players task themselves to take out those creatures in particular there shouldn't be too many problems.

The group can split into 2/2 with the paladin and war priest protecting the casters. That should give them some flexibility.


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Jader7777 wrote:
The group can split into 2/2 with the paladin and war priest protecting the casters. That should give them some flexibility.

Nonononono. No splitting the party on the Night of the Living Dead Invasion. That's asking for things to go horribly wrong.


Jader7777 wrote:

We're assuming the GM is making this level appropriate. If there was a lich or vampire they'd have no chance other than running away.

Stuff like shadows or ghosts would make it difficult but if the players task themselves to take out those creatures in particular there shouldn't be too many problems.

The group can split into 2/2 with the paladin and war priest protecting the casters. That should give them some flexibility.

You GM still might have discovered or invented a level-appropriate way of making the Undead Army smart and professional somehow. Are you actually 100% sure that they are actually Undead an not just men or orcs dressed up like skeletons and stuff? How do you know what you are dealing with?

Kai_G wrote:
Scouts

You can't rely on NPC Scouts.

Kai_G wrote:
in a world that had been decimated by necromantic phenomena.

Better, but I strongly recommend you scout ahead and get to know the army. Find out what happens when you attack their flank and withdraw. What happens when you shoot them. How do they respond when they encounter a natural obstacle or bottleneck, a shield wall, or funnelling earthworks. How fast are they? Find out everything you can before you commit to a design of your defenses.


Defending is always the hardest, defending without proper Intel is suicide. How large an army, what is its composition? If they have effective flyers or climbers among the undead your walls aren't so helpful, as the undead can send in insurgents in after easy targets to create zombies inside. Remember that even a stupid to the point of random foe can luck onto weak spots and fail to get drawn into traps.

Harry and disrupt the army while it is moving. Try to direct it through natural and created hazards. On a meta level, you might gain a level or two before they reach the town. If there is water can we hope for alligators? Zombies are wonderful pre-rotted gator chow. Breaking up the army so it dribbles in at you would give you a huge advantage, allowing you to repair/retrench between waves.

Do you have any potential allies? What are your forces/resources? Is the Blazing Saddle false town gambit even possible for you? Pits are better than moats for zombies, unless you have gators or other aquatic allies. Misdirecting and channeling them outside the walls is great, letting them in the walls adds more complications and vulnerabilities than you may be able to deal with. Limiting their mobility will help you a lot, caltrops are good, but any variation of spikes, preferably en masse, is desirable.


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This is DnD. Your core assumption should be that your role as PCs is to cut the head off the snake. Prepare to infiltrate the army to assassinate leadership, while the town NPCs prepare the town. After all, as many people wrote, you may just be automatically dead if they're controlled by something smart. Your town's best chance is to face the mindless undead horde, so do your best to eliminate the people guiding the undead.


How far away is the enemy?

Which direction and terrain do they have to travel to get to the city?

How fast (how many days) to get to the city?

What resources does the city have in both defenders and materials?

Any chance of reinforcements for the city?

As things look to me, you're to low in level to have much of a impact in defending the city. My reason for this is because of all the towns guards, the guards leaders, and maybe to local temple and/or wizard. Most of these should be around your level for the grunts and your level+3 for their leaders.

You might do better using the terrain and hit&run tactics to slow the undead down. Giving the town more time to set up defenses and for the hope for reinforcements to show up. If no reinforcements are on the way, maybe you can conjure some up with trickery.


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You need to make sure that the people defending the town don’t join the army after they are dead. Most of the time a body needs to be fairly well intact to become undead. You should have standing orders to destroy the body of anyone who dies. Make sure the warpreist memorizes stabilize to help deal with this.

Hopefully both arcane spell casters have Disrupt Undead. It may only be 1d6 damage, but it is a touch attack that does not get a save. Unfortunately the warpreist does not have the spell. As long as you can keep the undead out of the city or confined to a location you can use this to eventually destroy the entire army. If you can seal the army in a portion of the city where they can’t get out just have the two arcane casters keep casting it until they are gone. This may take a days but it should work. Hopefully the Gm will not make you roll each attack or the battle may take days to complete.

If the army is made up of, or contains skeletons start making blunt arrows. Slings will also work for those that can’t use bows or as a backup. Unfortunately there are no ranged weapons that I know of that deal slashing damage, so if you are facing zombies they are going to be a lot tougher.

The paladin and warpreist are actually not going to be as effective as they should vs the army. They will however probably be useful for taking out the leader. Smite Evil is a single target so is almost useless against mass numbers. Make sure the paladin does not waste it on the army, but saves it for the Boss.


If the undead horde has no (or not enough) leadership, they should lash out at anything that lives. Maybe you can lure some away by making them chase after fleeing livestock?

Silver Crusade

Very GM dependent.

In terms of actual medieval warfare, the walls are your main asset (it looks from your picture like the town is walled); make sure they're in good condition, including the gates. Mindless undead should be incapable of getting over them. Any enemies with signs of intelligence must be destroyed ASAP.

You will need food and water supplies to withstand a siege. Then you need a way to destroy the army before the food runs out.

Also, are there any potential allies that might come to the town's aid?


JiCi wrote:
- the sorcerer has more blasting power than the multiclass spellcaster

Definitely not. The multiclass has way more spells per day and is built as a blaster as well.

Rerednaw wrote:
I see lots of woods outside of town...
Kai_G wrote:
The only difference is that the forest on the west side of the river has been cleared for decades.

As many have said, and I completely agree, more information is required. I think the GM's intent was to have rumors and hearsay of undead in the area then open the campaign with a dramatic, sudden siege situation. Now I don't believe that's necessarily realistic and I'd attempt to convince him to let us do some scouting of our own, based on those rumors/reports. As Matt2VK said...

Matt2VK wrote:
As things look to me, you're to low in level to have much of a impact in defending the city. My reason for this is because of all the towns guards, the guards leaders, and maybe to local temple and/or wizard. Most of these should be around your level for the grunts and your level+3 for their leaders.

So, I don't think we're going to get too much choice over how the city prepares its defenses. However, given the paladin mentality, I'd like to be able to make suggestions and influence the townsfolk to make the wisest decisions they can. Especially since we, the players, are as of yet unaware of any possible allies in other nearby settlements.

I think my best choice is to rally the group to go scout and skirmish with the incoming force before returning to the city to cooperate with the city's established defense forces.


The PCs should probably scout themselves. If the army is just vanilla zombies and skeletons, of humanoids, then they basically have no chance to breach the fortifications. One would assume such an army probably has some intelligent forces guiding them, though. Stock up on indirect fire siege engines and AoE and ready up tactical squads to seal any breach.


Mobs are most dangerous when they're allowed to be mobs. Forcing them into single file where you have cover and reach weapons can do wonders, especially if you can arm the townsfolk.

Note the enemies' DR - you'll want a good combo of slashing and bludgeoning weapons available, methinks.


GM Rednal wrote:

Mobs are most dangerous when they're allowed to be mobs. Forcing them into single file where you have cover and reach weapons can do wonders, especially if you can arm the townsfolk.

Note the enemies' DR - you'll want a good combo of slashing and bludgeoning weapons available, methinks.

or a weapon tht can do both either alternating between one or the other or at the same time


Yeah, but those are rare - and probably not something normal people would have proficiency in.


if there are dwarves arround they get free proficiency with one of them :) you can also talk to you gm about useing the make your own weapon rules


From that map it looks like this is a walled city. Low level undead shouldn't be able to get in.


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consecrate the area then fireball the peasants.


roguerouge wrote:
This is DnD. Your core assumption should be that your role as PCs is to cut the head off the snake. Prepare to infiltrate the army to assassinate leadership, while the town NPCs prepare the town. After all, as many people wrote, you may just be automatically dead if they're controlled by something smart. Your town's best chance is to face the mindless undead horde, so do your best to eliminate the people guiding the undead.

This would be a good idea but the party has no rogue and I doubt anyone in the party has invested into disguise, stealth and bluff.

They also only have 1 week, which is barely enough to prepare the town as it is.

With this party make up they should be able to smash a bunch of undead, after they thin out the ranks they can deal with the leader, who'll either fight to the death or run away to the local cemetery to raise a new army. When the latter happens that's when you can strike, when they're out of spells and surrounded in 2hd Zambias.


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Dressing up as zombies is easy and fun. Then practice:

"Braiiiiins..."


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Stampede of cattle. 2d6+9 bludgeoning damage in a straight line 30 feet wide will put a serious dent in the army.


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BigNorseWolf wrote:

Stampede of cattle. 2d6+9 bludgeoning damage in a straight line 30 feet wide will put a serious dent in the army.

Haste makes this hilarious. And is there some way to embiggen cattle ala enlarge person? Because nothing ruins almost anyone's day like a stampeding, hasted herd of supercows.

And when it's all done, you get to stand there in the wreckage looking cool and quip: "I guess that settles our beef."


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quibblemuch wrote:
BigNorseWolf wrote:

Stampede of cattle. 2d6+9 bludgeoning damage in a straight line 30 feet wide will put a serious dent in the army.

Haste makes this hilarious. And is there some way to embiggen cattle ala enlarge person? Because nothing ruins almost anyone's day like a stampeding, hasted herd of supercows.

And when it's all done, you get to stand there in the wreckage looking cool and quip: "I guess that settles our beef."

Dire collar. Casts enlarge person on a critter for 1k gold.

Silver Crusade

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quibblemuch wrote:
BigNorseWolf wrote:

Stampede of cattle. 2d6+9 bludgeoning damage in a straight line 30 feet wide will put a serious dent in the army.

Haste makes this hilarious. And is there some way to embiggen cattle ala enlarge person? Because nothing ruins almost anyone's day like a stampeding, hasted herd of supercows.

And when it's all done, you get to stand there in the wreckage looking cool and quip: "I guess that settles our beef."

-_-

I was with ya till that last bit.


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Rysky wrote:
quibblemuch wrote:
BigNorseWolf wrote:

Stampede of cattle. 2d6+9 bludgeoning damage in a straight line 30 feet wide will put a serious dent in the army.

Haste makes this hilarious. And is there some way to embiggen cattle ala enlarge person? Because nothing ruins almost anyone's day like a stampeding, hasted herd of supercows.

And when it's all done, you get to stand there in the wreckage looking cool and quip: "I guess that settles our beef."

-_-

I was with ya till that last bit.

I considered, then rejected: "We will not be cowed into submission!"

Does that help any?

Silver Crusade

quibblemuch wrote:
Rysky wrote:
quibblemuch wrote:
BigNorseWolf wrote:

Stampede of cattle. 2d6+9 bludgeoning damage in a straight line 30 feet wide will put a serious dent in the army.

Haste makes this hilarious. And is there some way to embiggen cattle ala enlarge person? Because nothing ruins almost anyone's day like a stampeding, hasted herd of supercows.

And when it's all done, you get to stand there in the wreckage looking cool and quip: "I guess that settles our beef."

-_-

I was with ya till that last bit.

I considered, then rejected: "We will not be cowed into submission!"

Does that help any?

I actually like that better :3


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Of course, if I'm being truly honest, here's how it would go. I'd release the embiggened, hasted supercows and then, in a terrible Austin Powers impersonation, I'd say:

"Do I make you horny?"

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