I was hoping to get some feedback via constructive criticism or advice on this Class Feature akin to a familiar. I am currently creating a homebrew campaign that features new deities that rule the stars called Quadrants, magical artifacts based off of constellations, and a new spontaneous divine spellcaster Class called the Astronomer. In this setting, four main patron deities serve in a war against a powerful force. The nature of the war knocks the deities' source of power, constellations, out of the sky and christened heroes are entrusted to collect them in order to help stop the evil force. the new class provides features such as creating star maps that may be blessed to help find the nearest constellations. They also receive a bonded construct that was created by one of the Patrons.
At 2nd level, an Astronomer gains a Circumpolar Bond as a class feature. Once the bond is chosen by the Astronomer, it cannot be changed afterwards. The Circumpolar Bond acts as an construct familiar entrusted to aid the Astronomer in his obligations and tasks. Few forms of the Circumpolar Bond exist however, they all possess the same size and trait to orbit their master.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1llJ3GDIL5MpUHqQVVELO28Kp7j8Bn4qVJuOJBM3 gHVE/edit?usp=sharing
Please only comment if you have something helpful to say. I am aiming to make each bond equal to each other so that not one is fairly weak than the rest but also extremely niche filled. please provide your advice and thoughts :)
ugh idk why its not working
Edit: Apparently Google says the public file links are not available for users who are not signed into their google account.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1llJ3GDIL5MpUHqQVVELO28Kp7j8Bn4qVJuOJBM3 gHVE/edit?usp=sharing
The link doesn't work because there's a space in the middle of it.
>> Working Link <<
Aralicia wrote: The link doesn't work because there's a space in the middle of it.
>> Working Link <<
Thank you <3
I'm not understanding what the point of the mechanic is. It's basically just a familiar with much more vague rules.
A divine caster based on stars and constellations should be called an astrologer, not an astronomer.
Cyrad wrote: I'm not understanding what the point of the mechanic is. It's basically just a familiar with much more vague rules. The idea was to structure the feature around familiars yes, I'm not sure why that's necessarily a bad thing (like the Shaman's Spirit Animal). I guess the image I had was an extremely dedicated class that was blessed with an aid in their charting and work. Quite possibly the class is meant to be so enveloped in their work the responsibility of another living creature is something they neglect. This class feature allows a construct like familiar to not worry the master about rest or food, and grants them access to unique abilities on behalf of their limited spells per day.
Headfirst wrote: A divine caster based on stars and constellations should be called an astrologer, not an astronomer. Extremely good point
RandomNigel wrote: Cyrad wrote: I'm not understanding what the point of the mechanic is. It's basically just a familiar with much more vague rules. The idea was to structure the feature around familiars yes, I'm not sure why that's necessarily a bad thing (like the Shaman's Spirit Animal). I guess the image I had was an extremely dedicated class that was blessed with an aid in their charting and work. Quite possibly the class is meant to be so enveloped in their work the responsibility of another living creature is something they neglect. This class feature allows a construct like familiar to not worry the master about rest or food, and grants them access to unique abilities on behalf of their limited spells per day. The issue is that it begs the question what's the point of the familiar? What does it do for the class? What does it do for the player? There's not enough mechanical depth to hold up the class. Worse is that you needlessly rewrite a lot of the rules for virtually no reason. You could have made this much simpler just by saying it functions as a wizard familiar except it's treated as both its normal creature type and as a construct for effects that target creature by type, and that it doesn't need to eat, breathe, or sleep.
I also don't really see the connection between being an astrologer and having a robot pet. If they're going to have a class feature that's like arcane bond, it makes more sense they'd have an orrery or a telescope or something.
The Constructs are tied to the deity Patrons. Its a little hard to explain but the class is extremely similar to the Oracle. They choose a Patron 'Mystery' to receive Blessings 'Revelations'. Headfirst made a good point that the class should be Astrologer. Its less of the profession Astronomer and more of a loyal messenger of the deities in the stars and their role as a class is to use their chart making skills to locate missing constellations. Did you read to the end with the list of constructs? It gives a little description of each. Like one is a key made from the god of heroics, battle, and Freedom. If an Astronomer chooses this bond he values freedom to all creatures and this little winged skeleton key aids the doors and locks that bars his path or the shackles that bind him. Most classes have a familiar (except for the bard i think) this was my little spin on it because the class i featured only had the new ability to create star maps that would help find artifacts based on constellations. I guess in terms of a construct the idea is that it would be an Animated Object instead of a robot. They take forms of mundane objects like a Blue smooth stone, a winged skeleton key, a Crimson quill, a Black severed hand, and a Golden orb. I hope maybe that clears up a bit of the confusion. At the end of the document there are links provided to each of the different bonds. Let me know if that changes the image for you or if you have any suggestions?
It sounds more like a specific character concept than a class unless you have more solid mechanics behind it. You could make this just by playing a shaman with the heavens spirit. It's also a bit awkward because most deities are NOT associated with stars and the heavens. Especially if we're dealing with Golarion, which has gods trapped inside of the planet. I'm also still not getting the connection between having a construct familiar and being an astrologer.
My point is that the idea needs a lot more fleshing out in order to justify making an entire class around it.
this is just a class feature not its only one. and we are in the homebrew section. this is my homebrew campaign featuring a new setting and deities. in my campaign all the deities are tied to the stars. The classe's main role is as a navigator. My campaign revolves around an astral war that is being fought amongst the Star deities. Their weapons and warriors (Constellations) fall from the sky from the impact of the war and certain mortals are imbued with the task of returning them as their divine power is too strong for mortals. The Astronomer's main feature is his ability to graft star charts enabling him to find the three nearest constellations without the party aimlessly wandering the earth. This class feature is a little like bonus. A nice unique feature to the class. It is not what the class is based around. It makes certain tasks like spellcasting easier because instead on wasting a limited spell known for a light spell, you can use your Golden Pelydryn and offer any light brightness or dimness, varying colors, allow it to move ahead and light a corridor, or even send distress signals. Or the Crimson Cwilsyn allowing you to have a magical quill craft (Calligraphy) {Star Charts} in your sleep. Search for new information, Comprehend Languages for you. I suppose the class feature is a secondary one not one the class is based around but it takes a bit of the utility out of spellcasting. You have a tool to cast Knock once per day instead of you sacrificing a spell known for it you could maybe take something less situational. Thats the idea behind it.
Pathfinder Lost Omens Subscriber
I'm with cyrad in that this concept is needlessly complicated.
it's more like an archetype of shaman or cleric... like replace channel with the wizard's arcane bond feature and bam, you can still do most of this. :/
wizards arcane bond can only be weapon, animal, ring, or amulet. is it complicated? in what way, that'd really help. Do you think it should be a homebrew archetype rather than a class altogether? it might work as a Shaman archetype. if thats what you are getting at.
Pathfinder Lost Omens Subscriber
RandomNigel wrote: wizards arcane bond can only be weapon, animal, ring, or amulet. is it complicated? in what way, that'd really help. Do you think it should be a homebrew archetype rather than a class altogether? it might work as a Shaman archetype. if thats what you are getting at. improved familair feat... WOOO. comes with construct options... WOOO.
also yes, a quick homebrew archetype is much easier to digest especially since there's so much overlap from other stuff.
While I do appreciate you suggesting the Improved Familiar option, its not exactly the image I had in mind. The only options were clockwork and Homonculous. At any rate, I appreciate the advice of an archetype. I think that may be much better. Now I do think I am going to delete all of the rules except for the fact that these little guys dont get familiar archetypes. Is there anything undesirable to the constructs themselves? The document provides links to entries for each (Under the kind of imagery of animated items) Does one seem lacking or another seem overpowered? I did spend a lot of time on this feature and I would hate to scrap the entire idea altogether.
Pathfinder Lost Omens Subscriber
RandomNigel wrote: While I do appreciate you suggesting the Improved Familiar option, its not exactly the image I had in mind. The only options were clockwork and Homonculous. At any rate, I appreciate the advice of an archetype. I think that may be much better. Now I do think I am going to delete all of the rules except for the fact that these little guys dont get familiar archetypes. Is there anything undesirable to the constructs themselves? The document provides links to entries for each (Under the kind of imagery of animated items) Does one seem lacking or another seem overpowered? I did spend a lot of time on this feature and I would hate to scrap the entire idea altogether. for good rules, generally you don't want to write extremely specific things. I'm unfortunately not going to read the specific entries for the choosable options.
If I were to do an archetype, they'd be written like
At Xst level, the CLASS gained a Familiar as the Wizard's arcane bond class ability. This creature behaves in all ways as the Familiar Described in that ability except X Y Z.(example would be: except that it must be a construct as if chosen from the improved familiar feat)
personally, I too don't understand the familiar being clockwork. When I first started reading it I thought of a little white fox made out of stars(my god it's full of stars). simply a critique on it being a tad too specific void of any meaningful lore to explore.
Also as if to show credibility in what i'm talking about, here's a link to one of many classes I've made.
I just feel like mentioning making classes for specific purposes isn't necessarily fun to play. They need to have a few options so that the player playing them has a build and don't feel like they haven't made many great decisions for a few levels. If they don't pick something they should gain multiple abilities every even level or so, even if they're minor ones like bravery. This way the player can at least choose what abilities to focus on using.
Well this idea was just one class feature. Unfortunately, i believe a miscommunication raised as this is not the only feature the Astronomer class was intended to have. I admit looking back it was a little confusing but the class came with a set of multiple class features that the player would gain through level advancement. My campaign featured the party having to travel to collect an IMMENSE amount of constellations for the Astral Deities. The constellations take form of magical artifacts or creatures that are too powerful for mortals. They are weapons, tools, and warriors for the Astral Deities and the entire campaign revolves around returning them Enter: the Astronomer. Its main class feature was to craft a star chart, have it blessed by one of the Astral Deities and be able to locate nearby constellations, receive bonuses to skills that interact with them (Handle Animal, Intimidate, Diplomacy), and know lore about each constellation. One of its class features the Patron would grant Blessings onto the Astronomer based on what Astral Deity he chose to pray to, but this feature was arguably similar to the Shaman's Spirit. The Circumpolar Bond was a form of one of these Blessings used to take a little of the utility spell casting off of the Astronomer's shoulders. (Having a severed hand use Silent Image instead of you). I have decided to split the entire class into Archetypes that offer these class features (The Patron and Bond could work similar to a Shaman's Spirit or Spirit Animal.) My initial plan of posting the class feature was to see how the Class Feature stood. It wasn't an entire class heavens no.
Pathfinder Lost Omens Subscriber
I realized there was more.
it felt like a cleric with 9th level casting, probably prof in simply and maybe light armor. You said it could do light and had an animated quill, those are about 1st level domain abilities, so I expect there's more. then with some ability to move the game forward.
but that was just first impressions
edit: I edited the post with a lot more but it ate my post. D:
just for a hint, it's basically best to show an entire class because it's about balancing complicated and simple abilities in a way that works.
The light and animated quill were the 'construct familiars' They're animated objects that have supernatural or spell like abilities. Like each is a different option that can be chosen. Just little summaries of each different Circumpolar Bonds:
Ebony Llaw: Animated severed hand made from clay. Its touch spoils food and water or lessens the value of gold 1/day. Can also scratch its master for blood to create illusions that Nauseate or Shaken the target.
Ivory Gywair: Animated winged skeleton key. It can cast Knock 1/day and with an insane Disable Device skill, can DC 10 check locks each time a day, growing by 5 DC. Can also bind a target with chains that prevent the target from using more than one action and also reduces movement speed by half.
Golden Pelydryn: Animated glowing orb. It can act as Dancing Lanterns with the addition of changing of light intensity, flashing, and changing colors. Can also act as a simple crystal ball to act as a decoy.
Azure Dyrsor: Animated smooth blue stone. It can cast Ear Piercing Scream for a number of minutes equal to its master's level. Can also be used for the spell Divination to hear the voices of spirits encased in the stone warning the master of impending dangers.
Crimson Cwilsyn: Animated red quill. It can use Scribe Scroll without prerequisites or its master needing to have the feat. Can also craft (calligraphy) or prepare its masters spells at night while the master is asleep. Understand languages, and search for new knowledge bringing new information to its masters.
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