Captain Yesterday and Kobold Cleaver Debate thread


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At the Captains behest an arena has been made for these to greats to battle it out.

Round one. Best Pizza toppings. Battle BEGIN!!!!!!!


Whatever you like is wrong!!!


Canadian Bacon.

tips Kobold Cleaver's favorite cow.


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Olde Timey Fisticuffs Yesterday wrote:

Canadian Bacon.

tips Kobold Cleaver's favorite cow.

Or as we red blooded Mericans call it ham. Nasty, bland ham. Dirty trick by the Canadians to try to pass that off as bacon.


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Yeah, but can you tell a joke, everyone knows all the best comedians come from Canada.

Who do you have, Larry The Cable Guy.


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Sorry excuse of an Alias #344 wrote:

Yeah, but can you tell a joke, everyone knows all the best comedians come from Canada.

Who do you have, Larry The Cable Guy.

Ouch! Low blow dude...


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You're the one that called ham "bland"

holds out a slab of delicious, salty, savory ham

Not even in a house, with a mouse!


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Message board troll wrote:
Olde Timey Fisticuffs Yesterday wrote:

Canadian Bacon.

tips Kobold Cleaver's favorite cow.

Or as we red blooded Mericans call it ham. Nasty, bland ham. Dirty trick by the Canadians to try to pass that off as bacon.

In Europe it's commonly referred to as "Futball"


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Cap'n Yesterday, FaWtL Tourism wrote:
Message board troll wrote:
Olde Timey Fisticuffs Yesterday wrote:

Canadian Bacon.

tips Kobold Cleaver's favorite cow.

Or as we red blooded Mericans call it ham. Nasty, bland ham. Dirty trick by the Canadians to try to pass that off as bacon.
In Europe it's commonly referred to as "Futball"

MY futball team is better than your futball team!!!


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Are they though? How do you know, I mean honestly, I've seen a handful of games, and they all ended in a tie.

Still you gotta respect their endurance, it's not easy running around doing whatever it is they're doing out there. :-)


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So I came here, gleefully expecting a battle of the titans, and what do I find?

  • Captain Yesterday has yet to post as himself
  • Kobold Cleaver has yet to post at all
  • Triphoppenskip seems determined to keep this thread alive all by his lonesome
  • So... let's see...
    "I choose Donald Trump over Hillary Clinton because I vastly appreciate his clear policy statements and his detailed agenda of exactly what he will do as president and how he will go about achieving his aims..."

    Let's see whether that flushes KC out of the woodwork...

    EDIT: Oh, wait! And, "Unclear rule #234 MUST be interpreted in EXACTLY this fashion because... lawyering!"


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    NobodysHome wrote:

    "Unclear rule #234 MUST be interpreted in EXACTLY this fashion because... lawyering!"

    Nuh Uh!!! Unclear rule #867 in an unsanctioned third party book that is possibly just the notebook someone scribbled houserules in says rule 234 is played this way unless rule 47 is in effect but if the party is under the effect of poorly worded spell 77 that is from a completely different game then it's done the other way!!!


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    I have 353 aliases, all ravenous for attention. :-)

    I just assume Kobold Cleaver got caught by kindergarteners and is in an atrium with the name Lopsy Pop 6 7 on the side in some lonely classroom. Doomed until his dramatic, and furtive escape to being a class pet.

    He does make an adorable lizard though, so can't fault the kids there. :-)


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    NobodysHome wrote:

    ...

    "I choose Donald Trump over Hillary Clinton because I vastly appreciate his clear policy statements and his detailed agenda of exactly what he will do as president and how he will go about achieving his aims..."

    You are clearly a tremendous individual who will do well under my Presidency. Keep saying nice things about me and I'll keep saying nice things about you - no matter who you are or what you do. Unless you are a Kobold. We need to build a wall to keep the Kobolds from taking our good murderhobo jobs. That's the way you make good deals. And how you stay tough. No one is tougher than me, and no one can make better deals. It's time to make Golarion great again!


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    Donald Trumpets wrote:
    NobodysHome wrote:

    ...

    "I choose Donald Trump over Hillary Clinton because I vastly appreciate his clear policy statements and his detailed agenda of exactly what he will do as president and how he will go about achieving his aims..."
    We need to build a wall to keep the Kobolds from taking our good murderhobo jobs.

    The Vancaskerkin's are already taking all the best Murderhobo jobs.


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    You know what they say, Captain: The road to hell is paved with the skulls of your needlessly numerous shitty aliases.


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    It's a good thing i know how to pave shit then. :-)

    I'm gonna need more sand though, that's a lot of aliases.


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    1 + 1 = 2. Debate time!


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    Oh man, you gave away the answer, now how is KC going to learn math.

    Besides counting how many toes a Kobold trap stubs.

    Shadow Lodge

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    captain yesterday wrote:
    I have 353 aliases, all ravenous for attention. :-)

    Sounds exhausting.

    Grand Lodge

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    Does it.


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    In class, we learned to count by counting the aliases of stupid overcompensating humans.


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    Donald Trumpets wrote:
    NobodysHome wrote:

    ...

    "I choose Donald Trump over Hillary Clinton because I vastly appreciate his clear policy statements and his detailed agenda of exactly what he will do as president and how he will go about achieving his aims..."
    You are clearly a tremendous individual who will do well under my Presidency. Keep saying nice things about me and I'll keep saying nice things about you - no matter who you are or what you do. Unless you are a Kobold. We need to build a wall to keep the Kobolds from taking our good murderhobo jobs. That's the way you make good deals. And how you stay tough. No one is tougher than me, and no one can make better deals. It's time to make Golarion great again!

    PROO PROOPROO PROO PROO PROOoooOOO!

    My brass instruments are bigger than your brass instruments.

    Bury that in your golf course and hole it in one, Donnie.

    Grand Lodge

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    Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Pathfinder Accessories, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

    I have 42.


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    42 you say!


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    Kobold Cleaver wrote:
    In class, we learned to count by counting the aliases of stupid overcompensating humans.

    Yes, we had to watch Jim Carrey's films as well.


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    What are you the captain of, anyways?

    I'm going to guess "crunch".


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    I liked kobolds better when they were little yappin dog men.


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    I liked trolls better when they lived under bridges without internet access.


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    Man this debate is getting personal! I hope the mods don't lock it. ;P


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    Kobold Cleaver wrote:

    What are you the captain of, anyways?

    I'm going to guess "crunch".

    Hugs.

    I'm the captain of hugs.

    I had to take a training course for it, with step by step fully illustrated instructions.


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    ...

    Something seems fishy here.

    *Leans over to Captain Yesterday's training certificate; peels back tape*

    Captain of Bugs

    AHA!


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    Don't debates usually have, y'know, TOPICS?!!?!


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    I suggested best pizza topping however the kobold candidate to my knowledge never responded and has switched to under-handed tactics. His supporters love it.


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    Honestly, it started out as Fry's superhero identity from Futurama, but because of my kid's love of pirates it became more of a pirate captain thing.

    My daughter even says "aye yay cap'n" when I ask her to do something. :-)


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    Clearly the best pizza topping is pepperoni.


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    What are the best pizza underneaths?


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    captain yesterday wrote:

    I have 353 aliases, all ravenous for attention. :-)

    I just assume Kobold Cleaver got caught by kindergarteners and is in an atrium with the name Lopsy Pop 6 7 on the side in some lonely classroom. Doomed until his dramatic, and furtive escape to being a class pet.

    He does make an adorable lizard though, so can't fault the kids there. :-)

    They once kept him in there for a year and a half. It was the best 18 months of my life. Not to mention it did wonders for my sex life...


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    NobodysHome wrote:
    Don't debates usually have, y'know, TOPICS?!!?!

    You live in USA and ask that question?!

    Not that in other parts of the world that statement is closer to being true...


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    Pepperoni is the best topping. Pineapple, peppers, artichoke hearts and olives are disgusting.


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    You haven't had my wife's homemade barbecue, bacon (real bacon, not Canadian) and pineapple pizza.

    Grand Lodge

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    Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Pathfinder Accessories, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

    Okay, that sounds pretty good.


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    ANCHOVIES!!!!


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    Message board troll wrote:
    ANCHOVIES!!!!

    Get out.


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    Anchovies!!!!


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    Kobold Cleaver wrote:
    Pepperoni is the best topping. Pineapple, peppers, artichoke hearts and olives are disgusting.

    How Dare you call Pineapple disgusting! *pulls out Kobolds of Golarion* Hmmm, Pg 5... KC must be one of the proud few with no sense of taste...


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    Hmmm. What this "debate" needs is a calm, rational, impartial moderator to keep things from getting wildly out of hand.

    ...

    ...alright, you talked me into it! I volunteer myself!


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    No, sorry, uh-uh, objectively wrong. Pineapple pizza is flat-out awful. It's a fact.

    Certain opinions, yes. I am under no obligation whatsoever to afford all opinions equal respect. Contrary to what you may have been taught as a child, all opinions are not created equal.

    And your "opinion" that pineapple pizza is good is much less equal than everyone else's.

    Okay, I may have modified the quote somewhat.


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    Master Pugwampi wrote:

    Hmmm. What this "debate" needs is a calm, rational, impartial moderator to keep things from getting wildly out of hand.

    ...

    ...alright, you talked me into it! I volunteer myself!

    Moderation Check First Roll: 1d20 ⇒ 1

    Moderation Check Second Roll: 1d20 ⇒ 17

    Oh dear. Natural 1. If you weren't a Pugwampi, you might have succeeded.


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    Master Pugwampi wrote:

    Hmmm. What this "debate" needs is a calm, rational, impartial moderator to keep things from getting wildly out of hand.

    ...

    ...alright, you talked me into it! I volunteer myself!

    Quick! Hide! I think Rysky is about!

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