Cross-posting from Dreamscarred Press Forums for increased feedback opportunities:
So, let me preface this by saying I'd like to eventually make this a submission to Dreamscarred Press, but want to get feedback first.
Specific feedback areas I would like addressed:
1) name and title suggestions
2) any bad math that may have cropped up somewhere
3) is the charisma too bad of a hit (that -4 charisma that forgeborn get is rough)?
I haven't hashed out the "before combat" and "during combat" sections yet, or any backstory/as an ally/as an enemy sections, I'll go for more feedback when i get that far.
plus side: I based him on the art on page 129 of ultimate psionics, which I had requested back when ultimate psionics was still a kickstarter.
other stuff:
his favored class bonus went into skills.
he is using the soulknife part 2 entry requirement for Elocater.
finally: The NPC in question
I have been pretty busy, but I added in a quick "before combat" and "during combat" text and fixed a part where I was missing the third melee attack for the third entry.