Monsters in unusual (but not unrelated) professions


Advice

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EDIT: okay, that was weird...

EDIT 2: I'm not sure why this keeps getting posted weirdly... >:/

Anyway...

Set wrote:
Dragon (non chaotic) working for the bank of Abadar, guarding the treasure horde of hundreds of bank clients, noble families, other churches, trading houses, moneylenders and mercantile consortiums, etc. Intellectually, he knows that all the treasure he sits on isn't *his*, particularly since clerics come in and make withdrawals and deposits all the time, but he is happy just getting to sit on a pile of gold ten times larger than anything he could have amassed on his own. He also knows that any dragon hunter who comes after him and 'his' gold has to storm a fortified bank, and fight their way through dozens of mid to high level clerics of Abadar!

We did this in our Kingmaker game! We have a dragon who is both treasurer and tax collector. Curiously, all the taxes are paid on time, and the vault is really well protected...


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Paradozen wrote:

Awakened Sloth DMV worker

Awakened Fox Con Artist
{. . .}

Kitsune town criers that dispense really sensationalized "news" that claims to be fair and balanced, but actually misinforms everyone.

Set wrote:

Otyugh garbage disposal. Oh wait, Paizo already ran with that one!

{. . .}

That goes all the way back to 1st Edition AD&D (not sure about the Basic/Expert series) . . . .


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Tacticslion wrote:
Awakened giant ants: they do construction, haul heavy things, and have max ranks knowledge (engineering)? Sorry. Not very punny...

GiANTs is punny enough.


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Tacticslion wrote:
Awakened giant ants: they do construction, haul heavy things, and have max ranks knowledge (engineering)? Sorry. Not very punny...

Formidable Formian Fortifications Inc. With actual formians in charge.

On the opposing side, vexgit wrecking crews. You need to herd them somehow, but it's possible Kragreth-Kol or his halfling sidekick (or one of their descendants) managed to figure out how to do that. Give them tiny yellow hardhats (safety first!), unleash them, and look at them dismantle that dinged-up Kuthite cathedral at Juniper Street with only some collateral damage.


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Otyugh sewage workers. Read it in a home published module 'back in the day' and in another more recently.


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Pathfinder Rulebook Subscriber

Nymph stage manager or publicist. Or agent for a comedian or singer or something.

Hamadryad park ranger.

Tyrant Jelly beekeeper.


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I'm surprised that nobody proposed :
- Ghaele as Disco Ball
- Bralani as vaccum cleaner
- Silvanshee as Nyan Cat


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Darigaaz the Igniter wrote:
Dante Kestrel wrote:
Awakened hawk ninja
Anthropomorphic awakened turtle ninja

With the young template.

Also, a sphinx taking over for Alex Trebek.

"Man."
"What is a miserable little pile of secrets?"
"sorry, that is not correct"


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Another take on doppelganger, a stand up comedian who does celebrity impressions.


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Akkurscid wrote:
Another take on doppelganger, a stand up comedian who does celebrity impressions.

Doppleganger stunt double.


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Vishkanya who becomes a Bard with a distinctive chant of pounding rhythm. Also a leader in fashion design, and has a decent amount of business sense. Hangs out in Varisia, Kintargo, and Rahadoum, and sometimes even goes on tour as far west as Arcadia.

* * * * * * * * Vishkanya West * * * * * * * *


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lemeres wrote:
Akkurscid wrote:
Another take on doppelganger, a stand up comedian who does celebrity impressions.
Doppleganger stunt double.

Thinking about it, this could be a great plot- a publicly known doppleganger, just doing his job and being a minor star. People try to blame him for stuff all the time, but everyone writes that off...

Until there is a crime where everyone saw a doppleganger (ie- shapeshifter). Then, everything falls on his head. But the party begins to investigate and discover that there is more than one shape shifter in town...

It becomes a big silly mess. Did the stuntman do the crime, or was it the newcomer? Or perhaps there is a scheme of a group using clever tricks to make everyone think they are actually a doppleganger. I would love a three way crime mystery.

Shadow Lodge

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Tooth Fairy dentist.


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Has Drider fashionistas been done yet? because drider fashionistas. These dresses are hand-made from pure silk.

Shadow Lodge

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Tanuki working in a sports store.

Spoiler:
Because who'd know more about athletic cups?

Air Elemental windmill operator.

Vampire Hemotologist.

Pseudodragon anesthesiologist.


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Dragonborn3 wrote:
Tooth Fairy dentist.

Linkified for your convenience.

Shadow Lodge

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Velociraptor Lawn Care and Security specialists. "Keep people out of your high grass!"


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Ghoul restaurateur who's business in the shady part of town claims to serve man.

/cevah


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I'll leaven some humor, a skill that you can barley stand that rises to the occasion; awakened brewer yeast colony (swarm) with Craft(Beer)&(Bread). It's the yeast I can do...


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Gelatinous Cube with Profession(cook) for tongue numbing jam and dragon ball raindrops ...


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hats off to the Otyugh with Profession(Haberdasher)... it's coming to a scenario near you!


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Azothath wrote:
I'll leaven some humor, a skill that you can barley stand that rises to the occasion; awakened brewer yeast colony (swarm) with Craft(Beer)&(Bread). It's the yeast I can do...

and that swarm uses guerrilla tactics, they attack from the beck using their heineken.

Dark Archive

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A minotaur gardener as the keeper and maintainer of the royal hedge-maze / topiary gardens. He did such a good job on the hedge maze that they had to add some fountains and food trees so that people lost in it didn't die of dehydration/starvation. He's actually pretty shy (The other minotaurs used to pick on him for being runty. They're all dead now...), and visitors to the royal gardens tend to think he's a myth.


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Vetala therapist. Makes those unwanted, traumatic memories go away.

Genie negotiator. They know how to get the outcome they want generally.

Lillend (may have mispelled here) pop stars.

Devil lawyer. On phone so I'll have to check later which type fits the bill best.

Poltergeist house maids.


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Zelda Marie Lupescu wrote:
Water elemental lifeguard (like at a pool)

or as the pool


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Medusa stone sculptor
- make yourself look older and more powerful than you are

- Branch out into plastic surgery by changing people to stone and altering their features.

Dragon banker: That gold's going nowhere.

WISC basketweaver

Gelatinous ooze garbage man/disposal

Animated object: crane

Ice devil waitress with a lemonade stand

Fire elemental bathing attendant (free heat)

Dryad salesperson

will o the whisp lamp lighter


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Bearded devil hipster.


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quibblemuch wrote:
Bearded devil hipster.

that by definition doesn't have a profession....

*ow ow ow kidding the knit hat... doesn't hurt a bit. never mind.


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BigNorseWolf wrote:
quibblemuch wrote:
Bearded devil hipster.

that by definition doesn't have a profession....

*ow ow ow kidding the knit hat... doesn't hurt a bit. never mind.

He's evil, but only ironically.


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Drakainia obstetrician?


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Gnoll cleric of lamashtu midwife?

"Awww.. she's adorable, all 10 fingers toes and tentacles...


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Marut Inevitable Tax Collector.

"You know what they say. Both Death and Taxes are inevitable."


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Rovagug Demolition expert.


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Otyugh detective

How many murders are never solved because the evidence is disposed of in the sewers and never found? None in my city. My kind own the sewers and the middens. And we talk. You can burn the body to ash and I'll have a report of the teeth being found within a week. Your kind always think they're so clever, but if you were really clever you'd realize that no one's clever enough to evade the law forever.


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Atarlost wrote:
Otyugh detective

Is he... is that... is he wearing a little deerstalker hat? SQUEE!


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quibblemuch wrote:
Atarlost wrote:
Otyugh detective
Is he... is that... is he wearing a little deerstalker hat? SQUEE!

I imagine him more on the Samuel Vimes model. It's hard to be Sherlock Holmes with an apparent -4 int modifier, but 14 int is still quite respectable and wisdom appears to be unmodified.

It would be nice if monster statblocks explicitly gave racial modifiers rather than having to reconstruct them from the standard array. It would make creating full NPCs from them easier.


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Succubus psychologist/counselor.


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Atarlost wrote:
I imagine him more on the Samuel Vimes model. It's hard to be Sherlock Holmes with an apparent -4 int modifier, but 14 int is still quite respectable and wisdom appears to be unmodified.

The Holmes Brothers, in order of descending intelligence: Mycroft, Sherlock, Otyugh.

It fits.

It's times like these when I envy those with illustrator's talent. Anyone? Anyone out there willing to draw me an Otyugh Holmes? A wee magnifying glass clutched in one tentacle... :)


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mind flayer crisis councilor

"Wow.. i don't remember anything.

"and you never will.


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BigNorseWolf wrote:

mind flayer crisis councilor

"Wow.. i don't remember anything.

"and you never will.

*Leafs through MF DSM-VI*

Wait a second! This is just a cookbook!


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stone giant cartographer: Taller surveying equipment has greater accuracy because of trig. Stone giants are IIRC the most common full int giants and surveying should be an int based skill.


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quibblemuch wrote:
BigNorseWolf wrote:

mind flayer crisis councilor

"Wow.. i don't remember anything.

"and you never will.

*Leafs through MF DSM-VI*

Wait a second! This is just a cookbook!

The ghouls want their book back.

/cevah


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quibblemuch wrote:
Atarlost wrote:
I imagine him more on the Samuel Vimes model. It's hard to be Sherlock Holmes with an apparent -4 int modifier, but 14 int is still quite respectable and wisdom appears to be unmodified.

The Holmes Brothers, in order of descending intelligence: Mycroft, Sherlock, Otyugh.

It fits.

It's times like these when I envy those with illustrator's talent. Anyone? Anyone out there willing to draw me an Otyugh Holmes? A wee magnifying glass clutched in one tentacle... :)

ahhhem... *tweeeet*

Holmez, holmes in tha drainz, where old beer and dead antelopes decay... Where seldom is heard, an encouraging word, and the sky key is seen night an day!

*bows and exits stage left*


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A smurf who can smurf.


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Orc actor. He plays the alter ego of a genius halfling cursed with anger issues in a troupe of traveling stage performers.


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Ceustodaemon DMV employee. Because we all know that the DMV is meant to destroy souls anyways.


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doppelganger as a professional mirror.

Dark Archive

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cuatroespada wrote:
doppelganger as a professional mirror.

Dopplegangers are just great for so many roles.

They can play any role, as an actor, no special makeup required.

They can stand in for rich people who don't want to go to an event, functioning as a sort of celebrity look-alike, which could be handy for the powerful person who doesn't want to reveal that they are sick or infirm, or for a family that doesn't want to reveal that their legendary patriarch is dead, and that they are coasting on his reputation, or the political or religious leader who fears that they've been targeted for assassination, and wants to 'appear' at an event 'fearlessly' while they remain home and safe. (The doppleganger may charge more if it realizes that the target fears assassination, and keeping secrets from a creature that can read minds and become anyone is probably more dangerous in the long run than just risking a public assassination...)

They can be the 'Remington Steele,' the 'acceptable' public face of a business or movement that is actually run by individuals who aren't taken seriously or suffer prejudice (like a woman running a detective agency, or an orc or goblin attempting pretty much any serious business venture).

ESP at will makes them terrifyingly effective law enforcement or customs or harbormaster types, always able to verify faultlessly if those before them are accurately listing their imports into the city, or relating witness testimony of a crime. Tariff-defying smugglers and captains who figure out the trick will designate certain members of the crew to be kept in the dark about what they are *really* shipping in the secret hold, or that waterproofed chest in the bilge, and those clueless patsies will be sent to the harbormasters office with the cargo manifest, so that they can't give away anything when their minds are probed. On the other side of the law, they'd also be good at providing witness alibis, even appearing as a supposed murder victim to claim that it was all a mistake, and their ESP power would be just as useful at facilitating smuggling and evading law-enforcement.

And then there's the 'world's oldest profession,' which for a creature able to know what their clients secretly desire, and transform into their ideal lover, would be a snap.


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cuatroespada wrote:
doppelganger as a professional mirror.

They get hired by vampires.


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dopplegangers should be easy to detect using their handwriting and Cultural Adaptation to doppel culture... it only works if they are a doppelganger.
Oddly base doppelgangers only know common.

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