Meanwhile, down at the Boar 'n Oysters....


The Exchange

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Silver Crusade

Burngar combs his excessive chest hair as he watches the people come and go, all while eating handful after handful of bar peanuts.

Mmmmrmrmrmrmm, more, he says with a sausage sticking out of his mouth as he slams the empty bowl on the bar.

The Exchange

More nuts, coming up!

Sovereign Court

Startled by the lack of noise coming from the bar after Rowlan leaves, Denbora walks up to Burngar.

Mighty big sausage you have there, Burngar.

Silver Crusade

Can we please stop making sausage jokes?

She scratches her beard.

The Exchange

Hey you two, you heard the lady, knock it off!

Sorry about that, Carla. Burngar likes to push people's buttons and Denbora.... well.... That boy ain't right. He is right proper cleric of Torag, a little to stuffy for my taste, but he is good at what he does. You ever need a cleric to guarantee you come home alive, he's yer gnome. He was part of an experienced group of Pathfinders that were sent into deal with that Krune bidness. As he tells it, everyone else was more experienced than he was. Except when it came to knowing things about magical knowledge. A couple of timely spells later, our boy gets hit with a horrid wilting, whatever that is. Knocks him out, but he's a tough little bugger and he walked out alive.

Silver Crusade

'ppreciated.

A glorious nose-picking session follows.

Silver Crusade

Dicky, you have no clue what you're talking about. I never push buttons. I'll handle sticks and levers, but not buttons.

Silver Crusade

Sticks and levers, huh? I know some boys in Nerosyan that would give you the time of your life..

Carla procures a fat chelish cigar and lights it stoically.

By the way, Dicky, when are you expecting the new batch of stolen lands ale?

The Exchange

"Stolen lands ale? Heard that was quite tasty! I'd be quite remiss on my devotions if I didn't try some of that!" He looks at the brown liquid Dicky had poured suspiciously, not quite trusting the copper. He drinks it down, and gets a big smile on his face. "Oldlaw Whiskey, Dicky? Clever... and fitting. A lot better than that Chelish pepper whiskey you gave me last time, you old rascal.

"Say, you gonna get in any of this year's Trollheim mead? They got some in for the Convocation last year, but a true tragedy struck when that damned rukh dropped me right on the keg. A crying shame, that."

He then notices that his monkey has left him, off performing his petty larcenies.

The Exchange

The monkey makes his way around the bar, sampling drinks and food as he goes. Finally, he gets behind the bar, and is checking out the various bottles back there.


Carla Barrenspeak wrote:

Finally, a gentleman in the house! And just as I was getting tired of always having low templars licking my boots. Of course you can, mr blue. Not that I and mister warrior here did not just buy the whole house two drinks, but I digress. What brings a handsome tiefling such as yourself to a place like this -no offence, Dicky- ...?

She eyes the man next to her with a mixture of suspicion and curiosity.

I heard the oysters were worth a try, besides the people here are so much more ... interesting than some places Akuma fills out the waiver and passes it back. My freind is off resting so i thought i would take the chance to explore a few places find ... tilts head towards Carla mischief

The Exchange

Get outta here!

Dicky feints the monkey's way, eliciting a vicious scream accompanied by death dealing glare.

Stolen Lands? There's a brewer up there worth importing? Learn something new everyday. Not sure it would be worth the effort, though. Between that up jumped dirtbag Arovetti of Pitax and the failed dandies of Mivoy, I don't know if I could contract any one to get the beer here.

Trollheim? "Made with REAL Troll!" the last bit delivered in a terrible trilled r Ulfen accent. If you want some Gunari, I can see what is available. If the Convocation brought some in, it is possible they bought out the local supply. Also, I'm insulted, Gunari. That was the finest Pepper Whiskey that low down batch of thieving dirtbags ever produced. A year after that batch was made, a blight hit the pepper fields north of Corentyn and the crop across the arch failed. Way I heard it, the head distiller took a few too many liberties with a certain priestess's daughter and the ol' lady was not happy. A few subtle notes to the right people, and the next thing you know.... Dicky shrugs at Carla. It is obvious he wants to make a limp pepper joke, but defers.

Dicky slides a plate of dates towards Gilligan who somehow had pulled out a bottle of cognac bigger than he is.

Oh, another thing Gunari; pipes are fine here at the Boar 'n Oysters, but I gotta draw the line at cigars, he says with a thumb jerked Gilligan's way. Somehow, from somewhere, the little rapscallion produced a cigar and was in the process of lighting it.

The Exchange

A tengu wearing what could be charitably called a 'business tunic' makes his way into the Boar 'n' Oysters, carrying the signature case of anyone that works in the legal profession.

"Something light, please. Gotta stop by the courts after I get outta here."

There's a momentary pause as the tengu adjusts a long chunk of steel resting over his shoulder.

"Gotta talk brief business. Seems someone's filed a complaint about your place here. I like this place. It's got... ambience, y'know? No, not shaking you down, offering to represent ya if they push it any further -- you know how those fancy-pants noblefolks get, right?

He pulls out some small cards with a stylized raven attacking a pile of paperwork. Their wording reads 'Kara, Kara, Kara, and Tazou, Legal Representation for the Working Being' along with a number to a shop in the Puddles.

"Karasuma Tazou. Not gonna make a huge fuss, but if you need free legal advice, well, the hard working folks of the Society deserve it, right? I can even get a Cease and Desist put in on folks if you want it?"

Hopefully Uncle was right about this place. I don't want to end up on the spit because he sold me down the river.

The Exchange

Dicky's teeth grind. His hands wringing/drying in his apron. Eyes narrow. His upper lip curls into a snarl.

What... did... you... say?

Everyone does a quick take above the door where there is a reminder of the last person who filed a complaint about the Boar 'n Oysters: Two hands nailed to the wall.

Grand Lodge

"Dicky - relax. I told you i took care of it. Any 1st year law student could quash that bogus complaint. I still think it was Guaril bustin your chops. Haha"

Dix' pours another Pepper Whiskey, lights it on fire and slides it down to Dicky.

Dark Archive

Ri'chard raises an eyebrow at the commentary before looking at the plaque on the wall labeled "The Fallen". Man, I don't think you have a clue what bar you just stumbled into, do you? You talk free legal advice, and shaking people down. You know if it weren't for us, you'd likely be out a job, you bottom feeding weasel.

She looks at Dicky, You want, I can certainly misfile the morgue paperwork on a certain Tengu and I'm sure it would be most unfortunate if the scene itself were 'appropriately' compromised.

The Exchange

Nah. I admire the bird's gumption. Here, have some oysters and one on the house.

Dicky pours a thick red liquid from a bottle into a glass. Producing a bottle from behind the bar, he shakes a few drops into it. Swirling the glass, he sets it in front of Kara. Deft hands shuck six oysters and plate them before Kara has an opportunity to inspect just what was put on the bar.

Here ya go. On me.

The Exchange

The tengu peers intently at the drink, squinting a bit at them. The plus side? He knows that the food wasn't spit in... at least, not yet, at any rate.

He drops a few coins on the counter in that casual sort of way that folks leaving a tip without advertising it do while tilting his head.

He downs a couple of the oysters *FIRST* -- the antidote to nasty drinks usually comes in food, after all -- and then takes the glass and tosses it back.

Really glad I took the antitoxin before I came down for this. Now just to survive it.

Provided it doesn't kill him or leave him flat on his tailfeathers, he'll finish the oysters before glancing around the bar.

"Weashel? That'sh a new one... not. No, came in good faith, heard good things about this plashh! Gotta watch out for family, ri'? Even the black-feathered stepchil'?"

The Exchange

Impressed, Dicky pats the young bird on the shoulder. You'll do alright here, Kara.

Denbora! Help Kara here to a table. He may need to take a power nap.

Silver Crusade

Sporting his APD jacket and hat, Rico strides into the bar, his pepperbox just visible on his right side when his arm swings back. He's got confidence - he's got awareness - he's got a notebook - he knows he's no longer a rookie.

"Yo, Dicky, staying clean? What's on the menu today, or do I even need to ask?" he shouts, making his way to the bar.

The Exchange

Cleaner than your grandma's mouth, Rico! Good to see ya! That jacket looks good on you. Dicky takes a few seconds to straighten out Rico's jacket and to knock bits of lint or dust off it.

Hey! Check out Rico here! Don't he look all grown up?

With that Dicky puts Rico in a headlock and gives him the noogying of his life.

Dix! Rico here needs the last item on his graduation list! And I ain't talking about Ri'chard's mom!

Dark Archive

You'll be a rookie until they move you out of the Puddles and you earn that detective badge Rico.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

A kindly old lady walks into the bar. She squints at Dicky and she hears what comes out of his mouth.

Little Dicky Serpico. I remember you running around in that diaper crying out "look at me, I'm a Pathfinder" years and years ago; roughly the same time I was wiping that little bottom of yours. You think you're just a big boy now don't you? Does your mom know about that filthy mouth? I right aughta go drag you to her right now.

She shakes her cane, walks over, and grabs Dicky by the ear.

The Exchange

That why you still working down there?

The Exchange

Ow, ow... slow down! son of a-, grrrr...


I hear all the terrible things you say about me. You don't think they break my heart and make me cry inside? You wait until I get you to your mom's, bless her soul that she has to deal with you still. Now where did I put that bar of soap, I think it's time for a mouth rincin' lad.

The Exchange

Kara blearily blinks at the arrival of Ri'chard's parental unit.

Tengu are traditionally taught to respect their elders. They're also taught to respect the property owner of a given place as that's a sure way to have one's head removed from one's shoulders in a dark alley, or worse if one doesn't.

While the urge to chase this cart is strong, this is also one of those 'common law' cases where the best course of action is to let it resolve itself rather than involve the bureaucracy.

Well, that is, unless one party or the other wants to hire him, of course...

He wisely keeps his beak shut and grabs some peanuts from one of the bar dishes quietly.

Sovereign Court

Denbora watches Ri'chard's mom drag Dicky out from the behind the bar.

Good thing THUNDERLIPS! isn't here right now. Dicky would return to empty kegs and untold property damage. I wonder whom I can goad into playing that role? That rather dour looking dwarf might fit the bill...

Grand Lodge

A stylish gentleman enters the Boar 'n Oysters. His immaculate clothes are of the latest fashion and he carries himself with a dignified air. He holds a dapper walking stick and a rapier sits at his left hip. He wears a yellow coat lined in white.

Why hellllllooooo, everyone! It is so good to be with all of you once again! I just love an establishment that knows the virtue of fine wine. I say, where is the proprietor? He taps his walking stick on the floor three times.

The Exchange

Kara looks at the newest arrival, and several peanuts expel from his beak at high velocity, thankfully not hitting any patrons before tumbling limply to the floor.

He turns to the counter and holds up a finger.

"I'll take another, pleash. 'cause after that entrance, I ain' goin' t' court t'day. I mean, really? REALLY? I thought I was pushin' it...

Silver Crusade

Seeing as how Dicky is being kept busy, Carla gets up and strides towards the gentleman, hands behind her back. She introduces herself with a slight smirk and a dangerous look in her eye.

A good day to you sir! Say, what brings mighty fine company such as yourself to my establishment today?

She glances sideways to Dicky, who is still occupied by the old lady's speech, and smirks even wider.

I'm Carla Barrenspeak, the manager of the Boar 'n Oysters while the propietor is on... business trips. You seem a man who means business. If so, you've come to the right place! How about we discuss the finer aspects of life under the enjoyment of an oyster or two and a glass of Varisian's finest? I've got some real estate near the Worldwound you might be interested in. Dicky! When you're done hugging your grandma, I'd like two glasses of Riddleport Rooster and some of that Chelish seafood you promised me! Put it on the Decemvirate's tab, as usual!

She turns back to the Man Who Sold the World.

Now, where were we? Ah, of course, have a seat.

She pulls up a chair for the gentleman.

The Exchange

"Oooh lots of coins in here today." The gnome fidgets with this black and white construction hat till the white sude faces forward. A mithral hammer with an adamantine spike rests at his side.

"May your business be fruitful! Send all expansion RFQ's to me."

The Exchange

Gestures for the barman Something alcoholic and on fire when you have the time please Akuma settles back to watch the show

Sovereign Court

Denbora is stunned another gnome showed his face in the Boar 'n Oysters. His wide eyed visage betrays his excitement.

Do... do you... do you work with constructs, too? I keep telling Dicky I have schematics to build clockwork servants that could....

Denbora spends the next thirty to three hundred minutes discussing his ideas about how to make the Boar 'n Oysters a better bar if only Dicky would acquiesce to his ideas.

Grand Lodge

My good... person?

While The Man Who Sold the World might have a very tenuous grip on reality, even he is thrown off by Carla.

Varisian? Pah! I am a civilized man. I drink nothing but the finest wines produced in Avistan, Garund, and Casmaron. My palette is so refined I can detect any impurities in the first taste. I have sent back 1,000gp wines because they offended my delicate tongue. There is nothing those wagon dwelling horse thieves create that will ever come close to what I consider quaffable. You there, my good man! He points at Dixon. Dicky has a bottle he keeps for me that no one else is allowed to drink from unless I grace their presence.

The Exchange

God's damnit, quit hitting me you old bag of- Dix! Grab the bottle marked No. 7 for the pompous windbag! You might be Ri'chard's mom but if you hit me one- Ow! Son of a-! Get-! I don't-! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Do not make me- What the-?


Delivery!

Grand Lodge

Kyrie continues snacking on her oysters and drinks, but those who are observant notice that while several of her guns are out, Piecemaker is still out and depending on how you see it from the booth she's in, it could be pointing towards a certain Tengu lawyer or a the very loud person who just blasphemed on a good Varisian red.

Grand Lodge

"Rico - get yer butt back here and give me a hand with the oysters.

Bottle number 7 check." Dix' works quickly with many drinks and bittles via practiced hands.

The Exchange

Said tengu lawyer very slowly pulls out a gold coin and puts it on the counter.

"Shomething for the marksbein' in th' booth, with my thanksh."

If a drink heads over in that direction, he'll time it out to get out of direct line of fire from the booth while still being in the bar. Kyrie DOES have a nice commanding arc, though...

The Exchange

Dix opens Bottle No. 7. He discovers it is rose scented sugar water dyed a light red. It is not wine at all.

The Exchange

Denbora dear, surely I could make constructs.. but I fear branching into arcane devices would diminish my talent for hard core construction projects.

If you need new construction Think of mel
If you choose lower priced contractors
You'll burn in hell
Before the goblins and the orcs
Run you over with pitchforks
Build that castle, build it NOW
Build it MEL!

Grand Lodge

Dicky Serpico wrote:
Dix opens Bottle No. 7. He discovers it is rose scented sugar water dyed a light red. It is not wine at all.

Dix' pours the drink without hesitation and only a hint of a smirk.

The Exchange

Regarding bar improvements, may I recommend a mezzanine level for special customers in the 2' to 4' range..

It will improve the clientel and give a special level of service that can't normally be found.

Sovereign Court

DICKY! DICKY! DICKY! DICKY! DICKY! DICKY!

breath

DICKY! DICKY! DICKY! DICKY! DICKY! DICKY!


Hey, I got beer and oysters sitting outside waiting for some one to sign off. Anyone?

Grand Lodge

Dix' and a few other patrons/cops eyeball Denbora and Ralph over their strange outbursts before returning to their drinks


FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!


Da hell?

The Exchange

Old battle axe...

Ralph! Good to see you again, buddy! You got everything I ordered?

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