Grossout Gamer Stories

[Kobold Catgirl]

Disclaimer: Please note that not all of this is about Paizo threads alone. A lot of it also refers to stories I've read on other sites, many of which wouldn't even be postable here.

So, like everyone else, I love me a good disaster. Give me a story about some arrogant gamer and their precious half-demon shadow prince Mary Sue GMPC, or about some GM murdering their PCs because they don't understand how fireballs work, any day of the week. There's a reason threads like Last Straw flourish. With some depressing exceptions, these threads are generally like small, inconsequential, somewhat delightful train wrecks.

But every now and then, a certain sort of story comes around. And these stories really make me cringe. Not in the fun, "wow, what a horrible story" way. I mean, some stories really are awful—stories about getting kicked out, or bullied, or having someone in the group die. But I'm talking about a, "What the hell is wrong with this writer?" way.

See, these stories don't think it's enough to just show how a gamer was bad at gaming, or even just bad at social interactions. They want to make a story. They want to show off the most gross, hateful human being possible. There are a few aspects they'll often focus on when doing so.

Fat. Aren't overweight people awful? When the writer is trying to emphasize how gross and unpleasant this person is, they'll quite often make a huge deal about the weight. Nevermind that we generally agree nowadays, in theory, that fatshaming is simplistic, immature, and often the product of ignorance on biology. We all agree on that, smiling and nodding, then quietly put it aside when someone has to be made an object of mockery.

Exaggeration. Sometimes this is harder to spot—maybe the person really is that hideous, maybe they really did behave as extremely as you say—but at a certain point we all know there's some embellishment going on. At the very least, I have to doubt the perfect memories some people seem to have. I once read someone's post claiming that a guy smelled so bad people had to bring a vomit bucket.

Agendas. Often, the story will suit a narrative that suits the writer's "political" views. They'll be an absurd caricature of the "social justice warrior", or they'll exist as a nice, simple caricature of some bigoted viewpoint that rarely comes in such easy-to-identify packages. I've also noticed a practice of making heavy note of a minority status, with a disclaimer like, "I'm not racist, but this guy was one of the bad ones".

Panic attacks. This is just one of those things the internet in general seems to find hilarious. Someone has a serious anxiety attack, and instead of showing some degree of compassion or understanding, we come online and laugh at this person "flipping out over nothing", or being "rendered incoherent by our well-placed burn".

Tidy endings. The figure almost always loses. They get taken in a headlock and arrested, they get called out and reduced to a blubbering wreck, the whole group gangs up on them to teach them a lesson by screwing around with them instead of just, y'know, politely ejecting them (or the reverse—the lone sane player screws up the whole game instead of just politely leaving). Many of these stories will present nice black-and-white scenarios, like the one I just linked, and there is no other possible choice but the satisfying one the writer wants where they get to be the hero. Talk to them? They yelled and screamed or whatever. Ask them to leave? Uh, they had some secret deal with the game store owner who hosted the group. These barriers will never sabotage the "fun" solution, note—just the mature ones. People want to tell their stories, and they don't want boring reality to get in the way.

All-in-all, what does it come out to? The internet is full of embellished stories about cartoonishly hideous, mean people getting their asses handed to them. Some of it is the product of one immature gamer finding a way to one-up the other, then posting their own black-and-white narrative of the whole thing. Some of it is just pure self-insert fanfic that's best reserved for idle daydreams. A lot of it ends up coming across as some shade of hateful—hateful towards overweight people, towards people who have panic attacks or weak social skills.

We craft stories about monsters who are easier to hate. But that hate and contempt is sort of hard to stomach when I'm just trying to goof around reading bad gaming stories.

Please bear in mind that I'm not saying a story can't mock people who happen to be large, or any of the demographics I've named. But there's a reason people highlight those demographics when writing their narratives. There's a reason they make a huge deal about the gross fatty trying to ruin their games. You shouldn't mock someone for being large. We should be past that by now.

This thread isn't designed to get people to stop posting these sorts of stories. Lost cause, that. If you love these kinds of stories, fine, whatever, keep loving them. But I thought I'd share my thoughts on it and see if anyone else sees it the same way.

[Sissyl]

Well, headlock thread took a turn for the hilarious..

[Wei Ji the Learner]

If there has been an 'embellishment' of any tale I've related on the forums, it is due to age being a filter, and not malicious intent.

However, a lot of the above analysis does hit close to home, like the former friends who thought it was a 'laugh-riot' to liberally dose all food they ever prepared at their place for when we were gaming with ingredients I am sensitive to -- 'because he's just making that up'.

There were no winners in that scenario.

Nobody got their comeuppance.

[Kobold Catgirl]

Oh my god, allergy deniers are right next to the people who talk at the theater. I'm sorry you had to deal with that.

The headlock thread was a good thread, but only because people recognized that it was fiction and let the poor guy just keep digging his hole deeper*. :P

*With his secret government-issued combat spade that only an elite few are allowed to wield and that just being trained in the use of disqualifies him from joining the army.

[GroovieInnerChild]

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

Oh my god, allergy deniers are right next to the people who talk at the theater. I'm sorry you had to deal with that.

The headlock thread was a good thread, but only because people recognized that it was fiction and let the poor guy just keep digging his hole deeper*. :P

*With his secret government-issued combat spade that only an elite few are allowed to wield and that just being trained in the use of disqualifies him from joining the army.

Oooohhhh...It's all coming back now...

[Kobold Catgirl]

Careful, the town secret police might catch you posting here!

Wait. Maybe that guy lived in Nightvale. Did anybody ask?

[Yossarin]

Laaaawd, thanks for linking that headlock and arrested thread, KC. It's old news, but it made my day reading through it.