Just be aware that, like the Reacher books, the quality varies considerably. The first 2-4 were slightly sub-par, until he really caught up to speed. #5-12 were my favorites, along with a brief return to full form with #20. There are 21 of them total.
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Eric the Viking
Why is is bad: Old FX, sometimes a bit corny.
Why I love it: Vikings, set to dry sarcastic British humor, also, did I mention vikings flying a long ship, going to Valhalla, and Eric, our hero, is in fact somewhat of a sub-par viking, watch it, you will not regret it.
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Con Air
Why it is bad - Nicholas Cage doing a terrible Southern accent.
Why it is good - A fun action flick that does not take itself too seriously.
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Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace
Why it's bad: Jar Jar Binks, Jar Jar Binks, the stupid pod race, and Jar Jar Binks.
All reasons I liked it. All reasons I still do.
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Prometheus
The bad: Least professional scientists ever, plot holes you can drive a PLANET through, fetish corset EV suits.
The good: Michael Fassbender playing the scariest android, Noomi Rapace taking her rather clumsily-written character and just running with it, Idris Elba and the rest of the bridge crew, Charlize Theron playing someone who's got a lot of "evil" traits but is actually fairly relatable. Really, just a good, solid cast of actors doing their best. And the visuals, especially the exterior shots of the planet, are to die for.
Pacific Rim
The bad: It's a stupid movie with stock characters employing hilariously idiotic tactics in battle against really poorly thought-out living bioweapons, in a plot which offers no surprises, only ROCKET FIST TO THE FACE.
The good: It's a stupid movie with stock characters employing hilariously idiotic tactics in battle against really poorly thought-out living bioweapons, in a plot which offers no surprises, only ROCKET FIST TO THE FACE.
John Carter
The bad: Uh...the marketing sucked? Opening with some weird battle between factions we don't care about was probably a mistake?
The good: Honestly, this flick was robbed. It's not an intellectual sparring partner by any means, and some of the tweaks to the characters were a bit "Hollywood," but it's a perfectly serviceable Sword and Planet movie. We haven't got a hell of a lot of those.
Event Horizon
The bad: As stated previously, it's just a haunted house movie in space. Night of the Demons with a gravity drive and less sex.
The good: Hey, I LIKE Night of the Demons, and the cast does a way better job in this flick. Good visuals,good atmosphere.
Bone Tomahawk
The bad: It's a DTV potboiler without much plot, most of the characters are stock tropes, the enemies are thoroughly two-dimensional. Production values better than expected, but still not great.
The good: Yet again, a talented cast having fun with a cheeseball script work a minor miracle, and make me enjoy their rather silly romp through the old west. Several cliches or easy predictions are subverted nicely. Manages to avoid the downer ending so much in vogue in low-budget horror these days.
Waxwork
The bad: It's a fairly typical late-1980s horror comedy, complete with the implausibly varied group of friends (but in college,not high school, so that's not as bad as it could be). Cheesy, internally-inconsistent plot, villains who are evil because evil.
The good: They clearly knew what they were making. There's a palpable sense of amused good-humor coming off of nearly every shot, and it looks like they just had fun making it- fun I get to vicariously enjoy.
Hellraiser: Bloodlines
The bad: Just about everything. It's like they looked at the steaming pile of dog vomit that was Hellraiser 3 and said, "nah, we can make it worse." The director is credited as Alan Smithee. It follows Pinhead through the ages, including the framing narrative,which takes place on a space station. Nearly every mistake possible was made in script, characterization, plot, even production values (they're not consistently bad- they're uneven as hell). There is almost literally nothing good about this movie.
The good: For some twisted reason, I enjoy watching this magical train wreck. Maybe I admire its attempt at ambitious scope? Nope. I enjoy this the way people enjoy reality TV- it's awful, stupid, and a waste of time, so of course I can't take my eyes off of it. This film is a monument to my bad taste.
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Godzilla VS Mechagodzilla
Why it's bad: It's a badly-dubbed B-movie with some questionable camera work, lighting, and plot, stretches of slow or no action, and a musical number that even the benevolent monster that it's intended to awaken (who himself suffers the problem of his taxonomy being more interesting than his powers) seems to think is repetitive and boring.
Why it's good: Mechagodzilla is SO COOL! It's got high-tech armaments literally from head to toe, and is superior in every way to most Power Rangers Zords, and is damned good-looking to boot. Do I want a Mechagodzilla? I want to BE a Mechagodzilla.
Also: "That's a powerful pipe."
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Why it's good: Mechagodzilla is SO COOL! It's got high-tech armaments literally from head to toe, and is superior in every way to most Power Rangers Zords, and is damned good-looking to boot. Do I want a Mechagodzilla? I want to BE a Mechagodzilla.
The music that plays when he burns off his disguise is pure smooth excellence.
It's so very, very 1974, but in a fun way.
John Carter
The bad: Uh...the marketing sucked? Opening with some weird battle between factions we don't care about was probably a mistake?
The good: Honestly, this flick was robbed. It's not an intellectual sparring partner by any means, and some of the tweaks to the characters were a bit "Hollywood," but it's a perfectly serviceable Sword and Planet movie. We haven't got a hell of a lot of those.
Hellraiser: Bloodlines
The bad: Just about everything. It's like they looked at the steaming pile of dog vomit that was Hellraiser 3 and said, "nah, we can make it worse." The director is credited as Alan Smithee. It follows Pinhead through the ages, including the framing narrative,which takes place on a space station. Nearly every mistake possible was made in script, characterization, plot, even production values (they're not consistently bad- they're uneven as hell). There is almost literally nothing good about this movie.
The good: For some twisted reason, I enjoy watching this magical train wreck. Maybe I admire its attempt at ambitious scope? Nope. I enjoy this the way people enjoy reality TV- it's awful, stupid, and a waste of time, so of course I can't take my eyes off of it. This film is a monument to my bad taste.
Bloodlines was really the ONLY Hellraiser that I actually liked :D There was just something about the 'Through the ages' concept that I found kinda appealing. It was neat. Start in the far past, end in the far future.
I also enjoyed John Carter. I went in with no expectations, and walked out pleasantly entertained. Speaking of Robbed...
[b]Lone Ranger[/b}
Why it's bad: Main character kind of a joke... Cost WAY too much money to make.
Why it's good: The Lone Ranger is and has always been Awesome.
It took a viewing or two to realize something very important. THis is not the REAL the story of the lone ranger. It's Tonto's version. he's the narrator and he's telling the story and having a little fun while he's at it. It put an enjoyable spin on it.
This was a movie that cut its own throat. 215 MILLION dollars for a western?!?! To ride horse and shoot guns? THAT was the major flaw of the show. Sadly people have chalked it up to nobody caring about the character or westerns. The movie still Grossed 89 millions dollars.
Mask of Zorro was ALSO a show about a masked vigilante on a horse shooting guns.... they made it for 65 Million. Had Lone Ranger kept their budget to anywhere NEAR that, we'd be getting a sequal this year. It's performance didn't have anything to do with it's quality.
You can't make a movie like this and expect Avengers style revenue. If there were realistic expectaions, it would have easily met them.
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Hudson Hawk
Why it's bad: Poor marketing convinced moviegoers it was a straight-up action move (it definitely wasn't), (arguably) Sandra Bernhard.
Why it's good: Fun movie, subverts heist/action tropes.
RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8
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Diamonds are forever
Why it's bad: It is... mildly put, awful in primarily plot, special effects and acting. Oh, and characters.
Why it's good: It has a fake moon car chase. It has Mr Wint and Mr Kidd. It is hilarious.
Oh I love this movie, in all its Over the Top Cheesy glory. Lots of one liners I will thrown in now and again, Wint and Kidd... Jimmy Dean hamming (or is that Sauusaging?) it up and Jill St. John... Gods, Jill St. John. Hottest. Bond Girl. Ever.
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Transformers (Michael Bay's first one, the only one I went to see for some reason)
Why it's bad: It has shakycam ad nauseam, cardboard characters, and a "hilarious" scene where huge robots don't want to trample someone's flowers (that scene felt like fifty minutes of soul-murdering, horrible torture) that was "hilarious". Did I mention it was "hilarious"?
Why it's good: ...
...
...
Okay. The mobile phone robot was cute.
I guess I failed. It is merely a truly awful movie. Forgive me.
Transformers (Michael Bay's first one, the only one I went to see for some reason)
Why it's bad: It has shakycam ad nauseam, cardboard characters, and a "hilarious" scene where huge robots don't want to trample someone's flowers (that scene felt like fifty minutes of soul-murdering, horrible torture) that was "hilarious". Did I mention it was "hilarious"?
Why it's good: ...
...
...
Okay. The mobile phone robot was cute.
I guess I failed. It is merely a truly awful movie. Forgive me.
lady sissyl, this is a bad faith post.
I'm still amazed at people who entered a movie hall to watch a film about giant, transforming robots kicking the crap out of each other, and expecting Shakespeare. Seriously...
some days, hama, I could kiss you.
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I never demanded Shakespeare. I demanded giant transforming robots kicking the crap out of each other. Instead I got vomitous shaky cam (or cameramen with epileptic seizures) as soon as any crapkicking started.
Too much witwicky and not enough robot fighting
a complaint I can get behind!
It's pretty sad when Robot Jox does a better job of robot fighting than Transformers.
a complaint I cannot get behind.
Actually I didn't care for 3 and 4. I loved the first one.
Really? I didn't like 3 at all...
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Another reason Prometheus is good: It spawned an enduring meme about the most obviously foolish way to avoid oncoming objects.
Second one was OK. 3 was better than 1 or 2. 4 is mostly terrible except for the dinobot sequence.
I generally dislike the Transformers movies. The 1st one I can sit through. I hated the 2nd one and the 4th one made me want to give myself a frontal lobotomy with a rusty spoon.
That 3rd one though...
There's a lot to hate about it but once the Decepticons pretty much start destroying Chicago? WOW. My son and I saw this is IMAX and it was a horrifyong visual wonder to behold.
Say what you want about the quality of the story and the acting (Spoiler: THEY SUCK) but in terms of visual spectacle (READ: DESTRUCTION) there's not a lot that comes close to that Dark of the Moon.
I really hate the designs of the giant robots. When you get two robots battling each other in a down and out brawl... but have no idea what your looking at... I call it a fail. I couldn't tell where one bot ended and the other one started... who was winning or what the heck I was looking at for most of part one. And that was the best of the bunch.
Also.. in one of them they followed sam as he ran through the streets from the autobots... and then cut back to the autobots and everyone was captured.
THAT was the story I was paying to see. The giant robots fighting. I find it sad that both Real Steel and Pacific Rim were better Transformer movies than the transformer movies.
Sadly, hope springs eternal.... and I keep going back, hoping that this one will be the one I like....
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Con Air and Rock IV!!!
...And all sorts of B-movies that take themselves way too seriously! XD
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The new Star Trek flicks
Why they are bad? Like an amusement park ride the thrill comes quick and then the ride is over. You love these films at the credits and hate them by the time the car ride home is over.
Why I like it? Karl Urban gives a sh!#. ST has always been good television and poor film. These new movies are good popcorn flicks I dont ever have to see again after my theater experience.
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Jupiter Ascending
Why it's bad...
- The plot is utterly, completely, and laughably preposterous. I mean, it's gonzo, over-the-top, cuckoo-bananas bonkers. Seriously, this film's plot is so terrible that the folks at Screen Junkies had its Honest Trailer simply summarize the plot instead of parodying it.
- Complete lack of chemistry between the leads Mila Kunis and Channing Tatum.
- General dismissal of the "Checkov's gun" theory of plot-writing— There are a WHOLE LOT of metaphoric pistols shown in the first two acts that never go off before the credits roll.
- After finding out that she literally owns the Earth, Mila Kunis' character resumes her life as an undocumented domestic servant in Chicago.
- Eddie Redmayne emoting while gnawing on every bit of scenery when he's on-camera.
- The entire film is a 13-year-old girl's elaborate wish-fulfillment fantasy.
- Despite the above, the title character doesn't really do all that much aside from run away from danger and get rescued by men.
- Space roller skates.
Why I loved it anyway...
- It was a big-budget sci-fi space opera with an entirely original plot not based on any existing property
- It is absolutely gorgeous to look at, especially on a big screen.
- Eddie Redmayne emoting while gnawing on every bit of scenery when he's on-camera.
- A Brazil-esque space bureaucracy scene that's actually a whole lot of fun.
- The gonzo, over-the-top, cuckoo-bananas bonkers plot is unintentionally completely hilarious. Seriously, if you watch it as if it's a high-concept comedy, it's way more enjoyable.
- I saw the film in a theatre with my 13-year-old daughter.
I'm actually convinced that this film will attain "cult classic" status in a few years.
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Jupiter Ascending
Why I loved it anyway...
A Brazil-esque space bureaucracy scene that's actually a whole lot of fun.
Did you recognize who that last bureaucrat was who issued the final stamp?
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SPEED RACER
I'm not going to list why it's bad because honestly? Understanding exactly what it was when I sat down to watch it it stayed true to what it was: a live action adaptation of a classic anime.
I've only grown to love this movie more and more upon subsequent viewing. Is it corny? YES. but it's supposed to be. Speed is a HERO is always gonna do two things:
1) STICK with his family
2) Do the RIGHT thing.
The racing / car sequences are basically what a 10 year old boy playing with his toy cars would be doing (crashing them together, making impossible jumps, driving them through every type of terrain imaginable). And if you've been a 10 year old who played with toy cars? Those sequences make perfect sense.
Speed Racer, for me, was pure crazy fun and filmmaking craft and I love it like a fat kid loves cake.
SPEED RACER
My biggest memory about Speed Racer is that it came out around the same time as Iron Man, and there was briefly discussion about which one would do better at the box office. Hindsight is always 20/20...
I LOVE Jupiter Ascending AND Speed Racer...and basically anything those two make.
I always can't believe others don't love their movies as much as I do!
I suppose I can't be considered completely unbiased in my love for Jupiter Ascending and Speed Racer...but they are totally and completely AWESOME!
And I don't consider them Bad Movies...even if everyone else does. :)
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The SHARKNADO franchise.
The Bad: It's about sharks in a freaking tornado eating first LA, then Manhattan, and then finally the entire eastern half of the USA. And a Space Shuttle. IN ORBIT.
And the hero is a loon who blows up tornadoes with dynamite(!), kills flying sharks with a chainsaw(!!), for which he gets rewarded with a golden chainsaw by the President. And oh yes, in the third movie with the Space Shuttle, he fights off the sharks with a lightsaber chainsaw. I Am Not Making That Up.
The Good: Read everything above. And these people know the film is utter garbage and play with it. It's stupid, but it's a giddy glorious kind of stupid that leaves you laughing. Sometimes in shocked disbelief, but you'll laugh.
The Star Wars Christmas Special
Bad because: Something like 30 straight minutes of only Wookies growling at each other with no translations. And the camos.
Good because: No one has heard of it (Lucas tried to cover it up, it's that bad), so you can invite your "friends" round to see it and then watch as they slowly become more and more horrified by it.
Hey, don't forget seeing Chewie's father Itchy getting aroused by Wookiee porn!... Much as you'll wish you could.
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Matrix Reloaded and Matrix Revolutions, the much-maligned other two matrix films.
Why they suck: The philosophical aspects and new action sequences of the first were replaced by movies that tried too hard to be stylish and had too simple plots that really made no sense. Still with Mr Boardface in the main role.
Why I still love them: They ARE stylish. They even manage to convey emotions with Mr Boardface in the main role. Various scenes are awesome. The philosophical parts of the setting have an impact, if you let them. And really, they are grounded in some pretty deep stuff. Finally, Animatrix made it all quite a bit better, in my eyes.
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This one's a bit out there, but:
Rubber
The Bad: it's a sentient, homicidal, psychic tire. That has some sort of a love interest-thing? As a tire? The theme of "randomness" and "no reason" leave some bewildered from the opening scene to the very last minutes. The unusual presentation, with the movie inside a movie taking center stage, left many viewers with a certain uncertainty as to what they actually just watched.
The Good: I, for one, welcome our new maniac tire overlords. I loved every second of mind-numbing randomness, along with every single head-explosion. The surprising amount of emotion seen in the tire makes you feel as if the thing were real, and by the end, I ended up rooting for that little tire and his army to conquer humanity and start the First Imperial Tire's rule as leader of our planet.
Why its bad? Ultra-violent 80's action flick with all that comes with it. Very dated.
Why I like it? One of very few Punisher attempts that feels right. Classic 80's action flick with all that entails.
YES. I really feel like this was the best punisher. the one that got it right.
Punisher should not be an origin story. The man who's wife/child/family was killed so now grabs all the weapons he can to pay them back... that's the most common plot in all of Hollywood. We've seen that movie a hundred times.
Punisher takes it farther. His family is gone... the criminals who did are gone... and he's STILL FIGHTING. He's out to get ALL criminals, even the ones who've never even heard of a Frank Castle... He's BEYOND simple revenge.
That's what this movie was like. Caught up to him a few years into his killing spree, not the beginning of it.
This one's a bit out there, but:
Rubber
The Bad: it's a sentient, homicidal, psychic tire. That has some sort of a love interest-thing? As a tire? The theme of "randomness" and "no reason" leave some bewildered from the opening scene to the very last minutes. The unusual presentation, with the movie inside a movie taking center stage, left many viewers with a certain uncertainty as to what they actually just watched.
The Good: I, for one, welcome our new maniac tire overlords. I loved every second of mind-numbing randomness, along with every single head-explosion. The surprising amount of emotion seen in the tire makes you feel as if the thing were real, and by the end, I ended up rooting for that little tire and his army to conquer humanity and start the First Imperial Tire's rule as leader of our planet.
ROFL!!!! I contemplated putting this down myself. However I can't honestly say I 'like' it.
The opening monologue was HILARIOUS. This huge profound speech about randomness and things not mattering in Hollywood was awesome... and I also love the first 5-10 minutes of the show. I believe that the director for this movie was somehow a freaking GENIUS.
Watching this tire gain sentience.... learn to roll... explore the world... find something in its way and vengefully destroy it. It was like watching a nature documentary abnout penguins or bears or something... SOMEHOW he was able to convey such incredible emotion from... a TIRE. Boggles my mind even now.
The rest of the movie was crap. ;) Once it got on the killing spree the absurdity went too far and I didn't like the rest... but that first 2 scenes... just WOW....
I loved Rubber, I just don't think of it as bad.
It was a friggin' Dada-esque movie about a killer tire... conventional standards of judging are sort of inapplicable.
Why it's bad: unpolished, unrefined, looks cheap in quite a few places
Why it's good: Dolph Lundgren stars in it. Dolph Lundgren wrote the screenplay. Dolph Lundgren directed it.
It lacks a lot of the polish of a Hollywood movie, you can tell the camera's weren't high end, they didn't have a ton of money for sets, etc. The structure and core of the script are fine, but again you can tell it didn't go through a ton of eyes or rewrites. All that said, it's still pretty good. If you like 80's action movies, I recommend this as it's smarter than the likes of Cobra or Commando (though they're both more memorable than this one).
Dolph is smart to enough to understand most action movie cliches, he avoids some and plays others up. He seems pretty savvy in this regard, giving you enough cliches that it feels familiar, but avoiding just enough to keep you interested.
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Why its bad? Ultra-violent 80's action flick with all that comes with it. Very dated.
Why I like it? One of very few Punisher attempts that feels right. Classic 80's action flick with all that entails.
That was a punisher attempt I liked. Also liked warzone.
Not the little miss sunshine with John travolta. ALTHOUGH I liked JT
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Why its bad? Ultra-violent 80's action flick with all that comes with it. Very dated.
Why I like it? One of very few Punisher attempts that feels right. Classic 80's action flick with all that entails.
Ah yes, my favorite Punisher movie. The villain was fun and had some memorable quips, and just when it seemed to be holding on to the 'Frank vs. the mob' cliché with both hands, the door got kicked in and there were ninja!
It was indeed more like an '80s' Schwarzenegger or Van Damme movie, unapologetic action and fun.
Matrix Reloaded and Matrix Revolutions, the much-maligned other two matrix films.
Why they suck: The philosophical aspects and new action sequences of the first were replaced by movies that tried too hard to be stylish and had too simple plots that really made no sense. Still with Mr Boardface in the main role.
Why I still love them: They ARE stylish. They even manage to convey emotions with Mr Boardface in the main role. Various scenes are awesome. The philosophical parts of the setting have an impact, if you let them. And really, they are grounded in some pretty deep stuff. Finally, Animatrix made it all quite a bit better, in my eyes.
To this day I contend that the fight in the Merovingian's Chateau is the best cheorographed and shot fight in the entire trilogy. It's the fight I keep coming back to over and over in those movies and it's the one I never get tired of watching and dissecting.
I also find that Reloaded and Revolutions work best when watched as one BIG movie. I dont take the popular and too cool for school approach that the Reloaded and Revolutions sucked. I liked them. Could they have been better? Could a few things been cut? YUP. But I've seen actual bad movies. These two are not bad.
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YUP. But I've seen actual bad movies. These two are not bad.
This is my philosophy when it comes to the marvel movies. People like to complain about how bad the Iron Man sequels are or the weak parts of Avengers 2...
Screw that.
I've seen bad movies... I've seen HORRIBLE Super hero movies. 'could be better' does NOT equal 'bad'.
Take any Iron man show and compare it to catwoman or Steel or Crow 2 or Elektra. They're simply AMAZING compared to ACTUAL bad movies.
It's like people don't recognize the grand 'scale'. They seem to think if it wasn't THE BEST THING EVER and completely BLOWS AWAY everything that came before it... Then it sucks and should be buried in the desert.
There's a place in this world for 'Not the best, but I was entertained' ;)