Blazing 9! (season 10 prep)


RPG Superstar™ General Discussion

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Mikko Kallio wrote:

What makes a good monster?

Soon, very soon you'll get to put your monster creation skills to the test. :)

Why Kallio-San, that sounds "Monstrous" of you!

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dafelsheim wrote:

Thanks for all the input so far! Here's version 2.

Cleansing Coronal
Aura Moderate evocation and enchantment; CL 9th
Slot Headband; Price 47,500 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
A fine-wrought mithral diadem with a deep purple gem cut in the tristar halo style set at the brow. Each faceted face of the gem waxes and wanes with internal fiery illumination in a perfectly syncopated harmony.

Cleansing Coronals have 50 charges at creation and cannot be recharged in any way. The wearer of this crown benefits from constant detect demon (DC 12) and protection from evil spell-like effects. Furthermore, he acquires two gaze attacks described below. Both are spell-trigger activated, can be used up to three times per day, and drain 1 charge per use.

Supernal Stare: The wearer's pupils shift to mimic the Coronal's gem in appearance. They shoot forth purple falling stars aimed at the eyes of all Demons within 30 feet. All targets gazing at the wearer must pass a DC 20 Will save or be paralyzed for 9 rounds. Each target may attempt a new saving throw each round as a full-round action to negate the effect.

Amaranthine Glare: All creatures within 30 feet that gaze at the wearer are consumed in ethereal violet flames that spring from the wearer's eyes. Creatures with the demon subtype suffer 9d6 fire damage while all others suffer 4d8 fire damage. This ignores the fire resistance granted by the demon subtype. A DC 20 Reflex save halves damage dealt to all affected targets.

When a Cleansing Coronal reaches 0 charges its gaze attacks can no longer be used.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, burn corruption, detect demon, protection from outsiders, hold monster; Cost 23,750 gp

Glad to see you are re-writing! Curaigh is correct, re-writing is hard.

Now on to the critique.

I believe that adding a limited number of non-rechargeable charges to this item would severely hurt you in the voting. Many people, I believe, would see this as just a reskinned wand and might even report for DQ.

So I would eliminate the 50 charge mechanic.

Technically since you made the gaze attacks spell-trigger and did not connect them directly to a spell, anyone attempting to use them would have to use UMD.

Your descriptive sentence should not be italicized, and neither should the word paralyzed.

Lastly I would just stick to one aura.

I do like the description you gave for each gaze attack, very nice.

Perhaps something like this?

Covent's Suggestions:

Cleansing Coronal
Aura Moderate evocation; CL 9th
Slot Headband; Price 47,500 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
A fine-wrought mithral diadem with a deep purple tristar halo set at the brow. Each faceted face of the gem waxes and wanes with internal fiery illumination in a perfectly syncopated harmony.

The wearer of this crown benefits from constant detect demon (DC 18) and protection from evil spell-like effects. Furthermore, he acquires two gaze attacks described below. These gaze attacks can be used up to three times per day in total, in any combination.

Supernal Stare: The wearer's pupils shift to mimic the Coronal's gem in appearance. They shoot forth purple falling stars aimed at the eyes of all demons within 30 feet. All targets gazing at the wearer must pass a DC 24 Will save or be paralyzed for 9 rounds. Each target may attempt a new saving throw each round as a full-round action to negate the effect.

Amaranthine Glare: All creatures within 30 feet that gaze at the wearer are consumed in ethereal violet flames that spring from the wearer's eyes. Creatures with the demon subtype suffer 9d6 fire damage while all others suffer 4d8 fire damage. This ignores the fire resistance or immunity granted by the demon subtype. A DC 24 Reflex save halves damage dealt to all affected targets.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, burn corruption, detect demon, protection from outsiders, hold monster; Cost 23,750 gp

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Isaac Volynskiy wrote:

Here is a wondrous item I made!

Fan, Poisoner’s
Aura faint transmutation; CL 3rd;
Slot none; Price 7,500 gp; Weight
Description
This dull gray moth wing fan leaves behind a faint swirl of silvery powder when waved.

A contact or inhaled type poison can be applied to the fan as if it were a weapon, the fan quivers as the poison is magically sealed into it. The fan can then be activated by a whispered command word and wave, causing the sealed poison to be dispersed in a 30-foot cone.

Construction
Requirements
Craft Wondrous Item, gust of wind; Cost 3,750 gp

PA, I have seen quite a few poison items and also quite a few fans but this is nice. I might add a sentence or phrase at the end like "The fan can then be activated by a whispered command word and wave, causing the sealed poison to be dispersed in a 30-foot cone. All people in the cone must save vs the poison as if exposed normally."

Other than that I quite enjoy it. The cost and price seem right and the item is solid. The name is pedestrian but that is easy enough to change. Perhaps something like Lepidoptera's Bane.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka Curtisin

For the Fan, Poisoner's I only really have one critisism to add to Covent and the others, and that's the need to spell out if it can be used as a weapon and whether or not it's still susceptible to self-poisoning when being applied.

As for myself:
My map is being delayed due to scanner trouble. I'm hoping to have it solved this evening though, but no promises. :(

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I give to you the Map of the Manta Ray.

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Kim Frandsen wrote:
I give to you the Map of the Manta Ray.

Clarity (4/5): No major complaints there. I see walls, rooms, water, and furniture, plus a few more things that the map key describes well enough. As a GM, I probably wouldn't run into problems using this map in a combat encounter. There are a few unexplained symbols in the room with the elemental circles. Are they difficult terrain or some other kind of special terrain or just markings on the floor? If this was an adventure, they'd be described in the text, but in RPGSS, you don't have that luxury.

Also, I personally dislike diagonal walls where the wall takes up exactly 50% of the space. Can you place your mini in those squares or not? Are the doors double doors or not? I find their width annoying--the doors are exactly one square wide but they're placed halfway along two squares' edge. Does a Large creature have to squeeze to get through?

Design (3/5): It doesn't make sense for the cargo hold to be on the left side of the vehicle! When it's full of cargo, it'll be much heavier than the crew quarters, when it's empty, you also have a problem. The rooms look ok for both combat encounters and other encounter types. Is the propulsion room open to water?? How do you use the controls if it gets full of water while underwater?

There are a few objects that combatants can use as cover, but there could certainly be more interesting types of terrain there. No changes in elevation, either.

Artistry (2/5): Linework is decent, but for RPGSS, I recommend using a drawing tool for your circles and arcs. The doors are all slightly different in shape.

As for the layout and the shapes of the individual encounter areas, the map is almost 100% symmetrical and awfully boxy. You've got a few diagonal walls and round objects there, but you haven't used them in a very interesting way, to be frank. I mean, this is a manta ray submersible, that's such a cool idea, but the map looks like any other boxy map. It's not evocative, it's not sexy.

Also, if you design an (almost) perfectly symmetrical map, you've only designed 50% of a map. I know, symmetry makes sense a lot of the time, but it's not interesting. You have to find a way to reconcile these two things--being interesting and having verisimilitude.

A very common way to introduce some asymmetry is to damage your ship. Have a Colossal mega shark bite off a huge chunk of the ship. You get some interesting jagged shapes. You get some difficult terrain. You get a room that's filled with water while the rest of them are still intact. You also get some much needed asymmetry.

Originality (2/5): Ships are quite common in RPGSS, but a submersible is something you don't see a lot. So, as a concept it's something that I like. But in the end, there's not a whole lot of things on the map that I haven't seen before. 5-ft.-radius circles are rather common. Using the 4 classical elements is common.

I hope that helps!!

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka Curtisin

It does indeed Mikko. I'll be redoing the map later on, based on people's feedback. :)

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Just wanted to give you guys a minor update. :-) Finished my FIRST draft on my first paid job in the field. Obviously can't talk about what EXACTLY it is. Thank you guys for helping me out, and helping me build the confidence to follow my childhood dream!

Seriously, without your awesome level of support/guidance I may not have acquired the skill or proficiency to try. You folks are awesome!

Back to editing!

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka Curtisin

Well done, congratulations :) Once the NDA is lifted, let us know what you worked on. :)

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Congrats, Jarrett! That's excellent news. :-)

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That is indeed great news and cause for much rejoicing. Well done, Jarrett. Hard work and a very positive attitude do pay in the end :-)

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With the kind feedback of Mikko I give you, Manta Ray Map v2.. (here is the album so it can be compared to the previous map)

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FYI: Everyone interested in monster design and getting published should check this out: Here Be Monsters 2

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Kim Frandsen wrote:
With the kind feedback of Mikko I give you, Manta Ray Map v2.. (here is the album so it can be compared to the previous map)

Yes! I like it a LOT better! I really like the shape of the map, especially the wheelhouse, which has a really neat organic shape. The only thing that doesn't quite work is that the rooms are now a lot smaller, so there won't be a lot of room for moving around in combat encounters.

Assuming Medium crew members, the bunks look too small if the scale is 1 sq = 5 ft.

But yeah, this is a map I would probably vote for in RPGSS.

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In regards to Mikko's feedback on the map, I'd also highly recommend practicing a digital medium. I had no experience with them before the map round last season, but whatever wasn't intuitive in GIMP was fairly easy to Google.

Using digital makes it far easier to edit if you realize you want bigger bunks, or even a bigger ship and rooms.

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Isaac Volynskiy wrote:

In regards to Mikko's feedback on the map, I'd also highly recommend practicing a digital medium. I had no experience with them before the map round last season, but whatever wasn't intuitive in GIMP was fairly easy to Google.

Using digital makes it far easier to edit if you realize you want bigger bunks, or even a bigger ship and rooms.

+1

I use Inkscape nowadays for maps. The learning curve is steeper than in GIMP, but it's much easier to reuse and edit objects you've created, and the resulting maps are super clear and 100% scalable.

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Anyone think anything of my Zaiku? Terrible/OK/Not-Bad?

I admit I am trying to brush up on monsters due to the contest. :-)

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Hey Covent, let me try my hand with your Zaiku!

If I remember correctly, you are JUST at the cusp of a monster's CR with the TINY fey. It's hard to make something so tiny scary enough for CR 6.

So you have my attention RIGHT away there. You seem to have accurate HP and AC. If anything... AC might feel a little low. That is a few spell like abilities all focusing around the central focus of time. The idea here is it's a time-thief.

The kicker here is that it can age people. Age damage is unique. It's odd. It's a permanent. That's dangerous for a CR 6 creature. Granted... it ages only a d6 years. I feel "Comfortable" with that.

My concern is it's such a different "Kind" of attack. Normally you see these kinds of time shenanigans and aging in higher CR monsters. A large number of these can venerate someone. Though, honestly besides this theses guys are NOT much of a physical threat. However as a magical threat they have freezing sphere.

Freezing sphere is the ace in the whole for defending itself. It's once a day, So, it isn't going to expend it unless it is desperate. However, being immune to the cold means these things aren't going to shy away from firing it at friendlies. A neat trick. It's the out of theme power here. It makes for a surprise. However, I'm a LITTLE leery of 11d6 being thrown at Level 6 folks. Not saying they can't handle it, but that is REALLY scary on top of the d6 aging mechanic. My point is, I think when you consider the average level 6 person has 6 HD, from between d6's and d12's... 11 dice of raw damage seems high. However, I can't say fighting these things is the only way to resolve an encounter with them. That may be a case of "Stupid-stupid player".

What appeals to me about this monster is the "time" theme. Time is a difficult thing to work with as a monster mechanic. It's the big shiny treasure people want to master. I believe you handled it proficiently. I think the ice/snow powers are a little... off theme. And I do like that they can "Blink out of existence" by accident.

Overall, solid monster. Definitely swung for the fences with this one. I'm not sure I can pin-point exactly if you over-extended yourself. I like it, I'm not sure if others will.


I really like your rewrites and agree with most of them. The main reason I was adding charges was to try to lower the price. Question is, how did you manage to get rid of it being charged, up the DC's, and keep the price low?

Covent wrote:
dafelsheim wrote:

Thanks for all the input so far! Here's version 2.

Cleansing Coronal
Aura Moderate evocation and enchantment; CL 9th
Slot Headband; Price 47,500 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
A fine-wrought mithral diadem with a deep purple gem cut in the tristar halo style set at the brow. Each faceted face of the gem waxes and wanes with internal fiery illumination in a perfectly syncopated harmony.

Cleansing Coronals have 50 charges at creation and cannot be recharged in any way. The wearer of this crown benefits from constant detect demon (DC 12) and protection from evil spell-like effects. Furthermore, he acquires two gaze attacks described below. Both are spell-trigger activated, can be used up to three times per day, and drain 1 charge per use.

Supernal Stare: The wearer's pupils shift to mimic the Coronal's gem in appearance. They shoot forth purple falling stars aimed at the eyes of all Demons within 30 feet. All targets gazing at the wearer must pass a DC 20 Will save or be paralyzed for 9 rounds. Each target may attempt a new saving throw each round as a full-round action to negate the effect.

Amaranthine Glare: All creatures within 30 feet that gaze at the wearer are consumed in ethereal violet flames that spring from the wearer's eyes. Creatures with the demon subtype suffer 9d6 fire damage while all others suffer 4d8 fire damage. This ignores the fire resistance granted by the demon subtype. A DC 20 Reflex save halves damage dealt to all affected targets.

When a Cleansing Coronal reaches 0 charges its gaze attacks can no longer be used.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, burn corruption, detect demon, protection from outsiders, hold monster; Cost 23,750 gp

Glad to see you are re-writing! Curaigh is correct, re-writing is hard.

Now on to the critique.

I believe that adding a limited...


Congrats!

Jarrett Sigler wrote:

Just wanted to give you guys a minor update. :-) Finished my FIRST draft on my first paid job in the field. Obviously can't talk about what EXACTLY it is. Thank you guys for helping me out, and helping me build the confidence to follow my childhood dream!

Seriously, without your awesome level of support/guidance I may not have acquired the skill or proficiency to try. You folks are awesome!

Back to editing!

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dafelsheim wrote:

I really like your rewrites and agree with most of them. The main reason I was adding charges was to try to lower the price. Question is, how did you manage to get rid of it being charged, up the DC's, and keep the price low?

Covent wrote:
dafelsheim wrote:

Thanks for all the input so far! Here's version 2.

Cleansing Coronal
Aura Moderate evocation and enchantment; CL 9th
Slot Headband; Price 47,500 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
A fine-wrought mithral diadem with a deep purple gem cut in the tristar halo style set at the brow. Each faceted face of the gem waxes and wanes with internal fiery illumination in a perfectly syncopated harmony.

Cleansing Coronals have 50 charges at creation and cannot be recharged in any way. The wearer of this crown benefits from constant detect demon (DC 12) and protection from evil spell-like effects. Furthermore, he acquires two gaze attacks described below. Both are spell-trigger activated, can be used up to three times per day, and drain 1 charge per use.

Supernal Stare: The wearer's pupils shift to mimic the Coronal's gem in appearance. They shoot forth purple falling stars aimed at the eyes of all Demons within 30 feet. All targets gazing at the wearer must pass a DC 20 Will save or be paralyzed for 9 rounds. Each target may attempt a new saving throw each round as a full-round action to negate the effect.

Amaranthine Glare: All creatures within 30 feet that gaze at the wearer are consumed in ethereal violet flames that spring from the wearer's eyes. Creatures with the demon subtype suffer 9d6 fire damage while all others suffer 4d8 fire damage. This ignores the fire resistance granted by the demon subtype. A DC 20 Reflex save halves damage dealt to all affected targets.

When a Cleansing Coronal reaches 0 charges its gaze attacks can no longer be used.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item,

...

Basically I treat the formulas in the book as suggestions. I honestly compare to where an item would be affordable and then see what power would be available at that level, also comparing to what big six you give up. So a 3/day item with a pair of good but situational riders felt fine to me at ~50,000gp.

You can get a +5 weapon for that much or a +5 armor and a +5 cloak.

I hope this helps.


Is the map thing still "open"? :p I know there's no real time limit..

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dafelsheim wrote:

Congrats!

Jarrett Sigler wrote:

Just wanted to give you guys a minor update. :-) Finished my FIRST draft on my first paid job in the field. Obviously can't talk about what EXACTLY it is. Thank you guys for helping me out, and helping me build the confidence to follow my childhood dream!

Seriously, without your awesome level of support/guidance I may not have acquired the skill or proficiency to try. You folks are awesome!

Back to editing!

Just saw this as well. Congratulations.

I hope everything goes swimmingly/break an egg!

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka Curtisin

dafelsheim wrote:
Is the map thing still "open"? :p I know there's no real time limit..

It's open. :) After all, this is all basically a self-challenge, with open critique from the rest of us. :)

Personally I add the time restriction for 2 reasons: Adding pressure to simulate some of the time restrictions from RPGSS and for a "if you can't come up with something cool in this time frame, you need to rethink it entirely."


It makes sense now. But I wonder just how such estimated price guidelines would be treated in the actual contest. Hm.

Covent wrote:
dafelsheim wrote:

I really like your rewrites and agree with most of them. The main reason I was adding charges was to try to lower the price. Question is, how did you manage to get rid of it being charged, up the DC's, and keep the price low?

Covent wrote:
dafelsheim wrote:

Thanks for all the input so far! Here's version 2.

Cleansing Coronal
Aura Moderate evocation and enchantment; CL 9th
Slot Headband; Price 47,500 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
A fine-wrought mithral diadem with a deep purple gem cut in the tristar halo style set at the brow. Each faceted face of the gem waxes and wanes with internal fiery illumination in a perfectly syncopated harmony.

Cleansing Coronals have 50 charges at creation and cannot be recharged in any way. The wearer of this crown benefits from constant detect demon (DC 12) and protection from evil spell-like effects. Furthermore, he acquires two gaze attacks described below. Both are spell-trigger activated, can be used up to three times per day, and drain 1 charge per use.

Supernal Stare: The wearer's pupils shift to mimic the Coronal's gem in appearance. They shoot forth purple falling stars aimed at the eyes of all Demons within 30 feet. All targets gazing at the wearer must pass a DC 20 Will save or be paralyzed for 9 rounds. Each target may attempt a new saving throw each round as a full-round action to negate the effect.

Amaranthine Glare: All creatures within 30 feet that gaze at the wearer are consumed in ethereal violet flames that spring from the wearer's eyes. Creatures with the demon subtype suffer 9d6 fire damage while all others suffer 4d8 fire damage. This ignores the fire resistance granted by the demon subtype. A DC 20 Reflex save halves damage dealt to all affected targets.

When a Cleansing Coronal reaches 0 charges its gaze attacks can no longer be used.

Construction
Requirements

...


Kim Frandsen wrote:
dafelsheim wrote:
Is the map thing still "open"? :p I know there's no real time limit..

It's open. :) After all, this is all basically a self-challenge, with open critique from the rest of us. :)

Personally I add the time restriction for 2 reasons: Adding pressure to simulate some of the time restrictions from RPGSS and for a "if you can't come up with something cool in this time frame, you need to rethink it entirely."

Ahh, got ya.

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dafelsheim wrote:

It makes sense now. But I wonder just how such estimated price guidelines would be treated in the actual contest. Hm.

I think price is for most voters a "feel" thing -- if you're grossly underpriced or overpriced, you'll be dinged, but as long as you're in the ballpark, you're fine. I think the idea of looking to compare to other items in the same price range is a good one.

My first Superstar item, the haunting glass, was a fraction of what its value would have been based on the chart, in part because manipulating haunts was significantly different from the core use of the create undead spell.

My [/i]poltergeist knot[/i], on the other hand was priced exactly as it should have been on the chart and was (rightly, I think) criticized as being perhaps a touch too inexpensive. (Again, the item's actual abilities did vary a bit from the base spells.)

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What Jacob said. If you, the creator, are lost in the intricacies of costing your item, I think no voter will even try to reverse engineer its price. The criteria become "is cost vs price ok for this kind of item ?" and "when can a PC buy or craft this, level-wise ?"


Jacob W. Michaels wrote:
dafelsheim wrote:

It makes sense now. But I wonder just how such estimated price guidelines would be treated in the actual contest. Hm.

I think price is for most voters a "feel" thing -- if you're grossly underpriced or overpriced, you'll be dinged, but as long as you're in the ballpark, you're fine. I think the idea of looking to compare to other items in the same price range is a good one.

My first Superstar item, the haunting glass, was a fraction of what its value would have been based on the chart, in part because manipulating haunts was significantly different from the core use of the create undead spell.

My [/i]poltergeist knot[/i], on the other hand was priced exactly as it should have been on the chart and was (rightly, I think) criticized as being perhaps a touch too inexpensive. (Again, the item's actual abilities did vary a bit from the base spells.)

I spent a long time looking over Wondrous Items roughly in the original price range of my item and making comparisons. I ended up sort of using as benchmark the Eyes of Charming as the basis for the idea of a Gaze Attack and originally was going to use Heighten Spell to up the DCs, but that made the item way too expensive. The Eyes of Doom (another Gaze item I looked at) just didn't follow pricing guidelines at all. In the end, I wasn't sure if "eyeballing" unique item powers not given a formula on the SRD table was allowed, so I basically tried to use it as exactly as possible and tried to lower the cost as written.

So.. My thanks to clearing this up. :D


OK, digging through some of my old threads which might be pricing related ...

this is an old worked example thread but does include some pricing examples in it which people might find useful / informative.

An amusing take on pricing

and here is a thread containing lots of wondrous item goodness collated over the earlier years

I hope you find these useful (and in the case of the second link - fun).


It's probably worth mentioning that the examples I linked are for wondrous items - other item types are much stricter in their application of the pricing rules.

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Don't know if it counts as Season Prep - but it is official!

Hold on to your hats everyone!!

Hotel Booked and Paid - single occupancy with mountain view and a bath tub instead of a shower - YES!

Flights Booked and Paid - Virgin Atlantic - all direct - night flight return to London so I can be better rested for the journey home from the airport!

Look out USA, TemplateFu is on his way to Paizocon 2016!

Just need to get me the Paizo con tickets now - can't wait for them to go on sale.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka Curtisin

No Paizo con for me. I live in continental Europe. :(

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Dedicated Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka Tothric

Can't afford Paizo-Con or Gen-con this year. Instead, me and my girlfriend are going to "Study some game design" in Las-Vegas this year.

And sharks. we are going to study sharks.

Dark Archive

Kim Frandsen wrote:
It does indeed Mikko. I'll be redoing the map later on, based on people's feedback. :)

I may be willing to help you out. I'd like to do some stuff this year. http://s593.photobucket.com/user/Nightray1998/library/

Here's some Eberron ships i drew up a while back.

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Anthony Adam wrote:

Don't know if it counts as Season Prep - but it is official!

Hold on to your hats everyone!!

Hotel Booked and Paid - single occupancy with mountain view and a bath tub instead of a shower - YES!

Flights Booked and Paid - Virgin Atlantic - all direct - night flight return to London so I can be better rested for the journey home from the airport!

Look out USA, TemplateFu is on his way to Paizocon 2016!

Just need to get me the Paizo con tickets now - can't wait for them to go on sale.

I'll be going to Gen Con this year (last year went to PaizoCon). It's a shame I won't get to meet you in person this time either, AA, but maybe some year I'll go to PaizoCon UK. :)

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Mr.Nightray wrote:
Kim Frandsen wrote:
It does indeed Mikko. I'll be redoing the map later on, based on people's feedback. :)

I may be willing to help you out. I'd like to do some stuff this year. http://s593.photobucket.com/user/Nightray1998/library/

Here's some Eberron ships i drew up a while back.

That's a spiffy looking ship, Mr. Nightray. What software did you use? There are a few things I'd change if it was intended for RPGSS. Let me know if you want feedback.

Dark Archive

Mikko Kallio wrote:
Mr.Nightray wrote:
Kim Frandsen wrote:
It does indeed Mikko. I'll be redoing the map later on, based on people's feedback. :)

I may be willing to help you out. I'd like to do some stuff this year. http://s593.photobucket.com/user/Nightray1998/library/

Here's some Eberron ships i drew up a while back.

That's a spiffy looking ship, Mr. Nightray. What software did you use? There are a few things I'd change if it was intended for RPGSS. Let me know if you want feedback.

Its Dundjinni, a mapping program, i can draw some pretty maps etc with it. Iv'e got a pile of stuff i'd like to do for this years RPG Superstar. I'm all exited to try. I was going to do it last year, but i got sidetracked. I'll have some items up for the group to look at soon, right now they are just on a notebook.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka Curtisin

I've got Dundjinni as well, though its an old version with none of the DLC, but I never found it to be very intuitive, so I never got comfortable with it.
That said, you're more than welcome to try and turn any of my maps into Dundjinni maps, as practice, provided you share them with us. :)

Dark Archive

Kim Frandsen wrote:

I've got Dundjinni as well, though its an old version with none of the DLC, but I never found it to be very intuitive, so I never got comfortable with it.

That said, you're more than welcome to try and turn any of my maps into Dundjinni maps, as practice, provided you share them with us. :)

Of course i'd share it with you guys. If you would like me to take a crack at one of your maps, link one and i'll give it a shot. How i started is there was a jail tutorial. And that showed me a lot of the basics. From there i looked at what others had done, and showed myself some more stuff.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka Curtisin

Yeah, I remember that tutorial. :)

My maps are already linked in the thread and there is a link to my season 9 submission in my profile. :)

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Kim Frandsen wrote:

Yeah, I remember that tutorial. :)

My maps are already linked in the thread and there is a link to my season 9 submission in my profile. :)

Ugg i have a small drawing done for you, but photobucket has been in maint forever..

Dark Archive

I got impatient waiting for Photobucket. http://imgur.com/LhGiVRN

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka Curtisin

I'll have a look tomorrow. This evening has been a bit hectic. :(

RPG Superstar 2014 Top 32 , Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka Ixxix

Razorwhip Glove
Aura moderate conjuration; CL 7th
Slot hands; Price 3,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
This thin leather glove appears to be wrapped in bands of steel that seem to wiggle and rotate about. As a swift action the wearer can flick their wrist to create a metal whip. This whip is a light weapon that does 1d4 slashing damage with a 19-20/x2 crit range. If the wielder is able to add dex to damage or has slashing grace with an equivalent weapon (such as a scorpion whip) it also applies to this attack. The wearer can also draw up to 10 ft. of razorwire from the glove per round without damaging it. As an immediate action the wielder may draw up to 30ft of razorwire from the glove. This gives the glove the broken condition and does not function until repaired.
Any creature that moves through a square containing razorwire must succeed a DC 15 Reflex save (this is a trap effect) or take the slashing damage as though they were struck. A creature tied up or wrapped in razor wire who fails there escape artist check immediately takes the slashing damage and may choose to remain motionless to avoid any further damage. This price is for only one glove. Two razorwhip gloves may be worn at the same time; and any applicable two-weapon fighting penalties apply.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Craft Wondrous Item, minor creation Cost 1,500 gp

This was one of my rejects from last year, let me know what you think.

Scarab Sages

Clay Clouser wrote:

Razorwhip Glove

Aura moderate conjuration; CL 7th
Slot hands; Price 3,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
This thin leather glove appears to be wrapped in bands of steel that seem to wiggle and rotate about. As a swift action the wearer can flick their wrist to create a metal whip. This whip is a light weapon that does 1d4 slashing damage with a 19-20/x2 crit range. If the wielder is able to add dex to damage or has slashing grace with an equivalent weapon (such as a scorpion whip) it also applies to this attack. The wearer can also draw up to 10 ft. of razorwire from the glove per round without damaging it. As an immediate action the wielder may draw up to 30ft of razorwire from the glove. This gives the glove the broken condition and does not function until repaired.
Any creature that moves through a square containing razorwire must succeed a DC 15 Reflex save (this is a trap effect) or take the slashing damage as though they were struck. A creature tied up or wrapped in razor wire who fails there escape artist check immediately takes the slashing damage and may choose to remain motionless to avoid any further damage. This price is for only one glove. Two razorwhip gloves may be worn at the same time; and any applicable two-weapon fighting penalties apply.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Craft Wondrous Item, minor creation Cost 1,500 gp

This was one of my rejects from last year, let me know what you think.

Thoughts:

Avoid "appears to be" unless there is some practical reason for it.
Rather than make a new kind of whip, just use the regular one or the scorpion whip.
I like the razor wire idea, but it may need some further revision - how does it get placed? Does the wearer have to move to place it, or does it work like the web spell?
3000gp is a lot of money for a surprise non-magical non-masterwork whip. Maybe add something else to make it stand out? Bleed damage is a possibility.

I think this is a fun, unique idea that just needs some tightening up.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 16 , Dedicated Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka Petty Alchemy

Agreed, I'd suggest against creating a new type of weapon. I definitely think there's a space in magic items to create traps though, as it's something players don't typically get to play with.

I also had a trap-maker in my reject pile last year, felt I couldn't tighten it properly.
---
Needleglyph Rapier
Aura moderate abjuration; CL 6th
Slot none; Price 47,320 gp; Weight 2 lbs.

Description
This +2 adamantine rapier’s cup hilt is coiled like a spring, the tip of the blade glows white and leaves behind a scent of ozone when creating glyphs.

The wielder can etch a needleglyph in place of a melee attack with the rapier in any square she threatens with it. Any creature ending its turn on a needleglyph or entering the square it is on activates it.

Upon activation, a copy of the rapier bursts from the needleglyph, making a single attack against the creature at the wielder’s attack bonus. If successful, the attack deals weapon damage to any creature it hits, plus the wielder’s sneak attack damage (if any).

A needleglyph lasts one hour or until it is discharged. The rapier can only maintain three needleglyphs at a time, as the oldest fades when a new one in excess of the limit is created. The rapier can be touched to a needleglyph as a free action to dispel it. The Perception DC to notice a needleglyph is 0 on the round it is created, then 25 afterwards.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, glpyh of warding; Cost 25,320 gp

Scarab Sages

I like your rapier Petty, but it needs a DC to disable the glyphs (assuming they are magic traps).

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka Curtisin

Mr.Nightray wrote:
I got impatient waiting for Photobucket. http://imgur.com/LhGiVRN

Sorry it's taken so long to get back to this one. Real life kept me busy I'm afraid. I'll try to treat this as a "real RPGSS" submission:

So first off:
I don't see a compass or north indicator. Nor is there a distance marker. Both of these are automatic DQs. Same goes for the fact that the map seems a lot bigger than the standard 24X30 map size that you have to use.
There is no map-key, which though not a DQ is a legibility issue for a cartographer who'd need to make this publish-ready.
The cellar part doesn't show up very well as being on a secondary level. Keeping that in white, as opposed to the green undergrowth might help that.

The good parts though is that its very easy to read, the symbols are clear and the "feel" of my original map is intact. Though I don't see the "sinister bloodstain" in the abattoir.

Hope it helps :)

Dark Archive

Kim Frandsen wrote:
Mr.Nightray wrote:
I got impatient waiting for Photobucket. http://imgur.com/LhGiVRN

Sorry it's taken so long to get back to this one. Real life kept me busy I'm afraid. I'll try to treat this as a "real RPGSS" submission:

So first off:
I don't see a compass or north indicator. Nor is there a distance marker. Both of these are automatic DQs. Same goes for the fact that the map seems a lot bigger than the standard 24X30 map size that you have to use.
There is no map-key, which though not a DQ is a legibility issue for a cartographer who'd need to make this publish-ready.
The cellar part doesn't show up very well as being on a secondary level. Keeping that in white, as opposed to the green undergrowth might help that.

The good parts though is that its very easy to read, the symbols are clear and the "feel" of my original map is intact. Though I don't see the "sinister bloodstain" in the abattoir.

Hope it helps :)

So i have no idea what any of the requirements are for submissions. So sorry about that. I was really just trying to give you a idea of what can be done with the program. So if you wanted i could assist with your artwork submission (if such a thing is possible) like i said i have no idea what the requirements are. Is there a handy link as far as what the requirements are? Really I'd like to practice with a few ideas i have for submissions.

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