The Paladin fell because...


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It should be noted that the Paladin is terrible at making effigies, and the Paladin' deity thought that is was an effigy of her. Oops.

The Paladin learned how to jump good.


Whoa, my topic moved ahead quite a bit!

--------

I know it's a little late, but I dock The Fiend Fantastic 50 points for failing to live up to the spirit of the thread on Post #670.

And now, to catch up on a few people who had their actions missed.

Sinister Stan: Schemer Supreme wrote:
The Paladin and the Skald traded stories by a campfire.

Those stories were the intellectual property of the HooBooSooDoo tribe, and the Paladin had no right to take them like that.

Ventnor wrote:
The Paladin decided to wear a chain shirt instead of full plate.

The Paladin fell for ONLY wearing the chain shirt, and walking into his temple without pants. (Which, yes, isn't actually a rule in the book, but even his god agreed 'It's just one of those common sense rules, you know! We don't have to put every rule in a book somewhere!')

Freedom Bird wrote:
The Paladin bought a truckload of illegal fireworks.

The paladin fell for not properly storing his fireworks in a cool, dry place, as listed clearly on the packaging.

Ventnor wrote:
The Paladin learned how to jump good.

Jumping good is one thing. Landing good turns out to be quite another skill set. So, he fell. Right on his head. Doofus.

The Paladin represented the side of Lawful Good in a multiversal debate with representatives from each alingment.


The Paladin fell when he talked longer than his allotted time about the virtues of good.

The Paladin joined the Hellknights to secure allies against a demonic invasion.

Scarab Sages

1 person marked this as a favorite.

The Paladin fell for failing to "respect legitimate authority" when he refused to take part in or support the more blatantly non-Good activities of his new allies.

The Paladin successfully put Humpty-Dumpty together again.


The Paladin fell for putting all the King's Horses and all the King's Men out of work.

The Paladin hugged an owlbear.


The paladin had been too forceful, unaware of his own strength.
Internal bleeding from trauma ensued, the owlbear was no more.

The paladin adopted the owlbear's hatchling after this incident.


The owlbear, raised by humans, became a PC, destroying game balance.

The paladin built birdhouses for pegasi.


The paladin fell because the birdbaths concentrated the pegasi in one area, thus making it easier for the Dire Housecats to find and eat them, subsequently trashing the local population.

The paladin participated in an online discussion about whether or not "furry" was a genre.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

In retrospect, getting Bronies into the discussion was probably not conducive to reasoned, lawful debate.

The Paladin decided to light a few extra fireworks he had left over, in a safe place with no-one around and with all of the proper laws observed.


Little did he know, they were fireworks that conjured up a terrible evil, and it caused him to go on a murder spree.

The paladin has started a postal carriage company.


The paladin fell for being the inspiration for Kevin Costner's The Postman.

The paladin joined a swashbuckler in a quest to find the six-fingered man who killed the swashbuckler's father.


The paladin had dumped Int, so could not count to six, so he just killed everyone who had more than 2 fingers, just in case.

The paladin took his old sofa to the landfill.


Uncle Teddy wrote:
The paladin joined a swashbuckler in a quest to find the six-fingered man who killed the swashbuckler's father.

Hello!!!!

But an innocent baby was sleeping in the sofa and suffocated...

The paladin interfered with my quest.


And he fell over the tripwire you set up, and he ended up in the poisoned spike pit, meeting his demise.

The paladin is educating her fellow women about virtues and integrity.


she found her fellows to be evil and slew them all.

The paladin began working for tips...

Scarab Sages

Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber; Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

A bad tip led her to a nest of glabrizu.

The paladin married a paladin.


3 people marked this as a favorite.

Because both of them were immune to diseases, both Paladins fell because they couldn't fulfill the "in sickness and in health" clause of their marriage vows.

The Paladin and the Antipaladin dueled over the fate of the world by way of a Children's Card Game.


The Paladin fell because the Antipaladin was the better cheat.

The Paladin went to the King's Castle.


finding no one there, he sat upon the throne, and was mistaken for the king...

The paladin had a blow out


By driving a truck in the first place, the Paladin violated the "must always be in a medieval Europen fantasy setting" clause of the Paladin code.

The Paladin made a pun so terrible that the dragon he was fighting fell over and died.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Only chaotic holy fighters can use humor as a weapon.

Ted Cruise chose the paladin as his running mate when he ran 3rd party for president.


The paladin fell for helping the Zodiac killer come to power.

The paladin sacrificed his life to save a group of orphans form a fire.


If the Paladin had been using Detect Evil as he should have, he would have seen that he needed to protect the Lawful Good Fire from the Chaotic Evil Orphans.

The Paladin became the host of a Daytime Television Show where he taught people how live life according to the paladin's code.


the Pall-y-din wuzzes stingy and left us gobbleuns to starve out in the colds. He would not share his meal of the orphanzes with us.


Since the Goblin Pundit didn't follow the rules of the thread, the Paladin didn't actually fall for smiting him!

The Paladin had a climactic rooftop battle with the Antipaladin and finally defeated her nemesis once and for all.


By stuffing her folded-over backwards down the chimney whilst screaming "Ho HO Ho!"....

The paladin selected the goblin to play on his Calvinball team


You mean that game where the rules are that the rules must be different every time? Dang, no wonder the Paladin fell!

The Paladin smoked through all of the Longbottom Leaf in one sitting.


Ventnor wrote:
The Paladin became the host of a Daytime Television Show where he taught people how live life according to the paladin's code.

He succumbed to the desire for a ratings boost, and his once inspirational show became a daytime talk show featuring weirdos and strippers.

Anonymous Warrior wrote:
The Paladin smoked through all of the Longbottom Leaf in one sitting.

Dude! Share the wealth, man! And quit hogging all the munchies. That's, uhh... that's.... what was that... Buttony? No, gluttony, that was it.

~~~

The paladin took a night job at a pizza place with animatronics that turned out to be haunted.


The paladin smote every animatronic, but this was considered an act of extreme vandalism and destruction of private property.

The paladin was building a tree house.


The treant did not appreciate having boards and support beams nailed onto him.

The paladin engaged a sphinx in a game of riddles, and won.


After a certain halfling asked it, the "What's in my pocket?" riddle was made illegal in the official Riddle Game Rulebook. Guess who decided not to read it?

The Paladin uttered an oath of eternal loyalty to Asmodeus.

Scarab Sages

Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber; Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

The Paladin fell because she was a handmaiden of Nocticula.

The Paladin went to Heaven.


The paladin fell down through the clouds, due to weather circumstances, that caused the normally passable clouds to weaken.

The paladin subscribed to a dating website.

Scarab Sages

Namely, ashleymadison.com.

The Paladin bought a stairway to Heaven.


Sadly nobody told the paladin it was manufactured by IKEA, and it collapsed.

The paladin spent an afternoon smiting evildoers.


...in the red light district, while the evil doers were ravaging the temple.

The palidin took up golf.


The ridiculous plaid pants hiked up to his upper chest he wore while playing was a serious fashion crime.

The Paladin broke his golf clubs in rage when his shot landed in the water.


... over the heads of his fellow players. Gotta watch that swing!

The Paladin wrote depressing poetry in a journal.


They turned into a sorcerer with the vampire bloodline.

The paladin wished for a holy sword.


The Paladin fell because his new Holy Dogslicer broke on the first enemy he used it on and he was consequently mauled to death.

The Paladin dabbled in the forbidden art of thread necromancy.


The Paladin fell for 'dabbling' in anything. If a Paladin is in, he's ALL in. None of tat Neutrality nonsense! HOORAH!

The Paladin rescued a Gold Dragon Egg from a snow storm.

Scarab Sages

Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber; Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

The paladin fell because he hard boiled it trying to keep it warm.

The paladin went for it.

Grand Lodge

The paladin fell because 'It' was a suit of demon armor.

The paladin nearly drowned attempting to save a sentient kitten from drowning in a lake.

Scarab Sages

You probably mean "sapient" - kittens are sentient already.

The paladin fell for preventing the self-sacrifice and subsequent resurrection and deification of our new Messiah.

The paladin saved a peaceful tribe of hunter-gatherers from a land-grab by a rapacious mining and logging company.


Little did the paladin realize, "peaceful" meant that the tribe members felt no terrible internal turmoil when they went to brain the puppies and eat the people they "hunted."

The made a terrible personal sacrifice to keep Rovagug from breaking free of his prison.

Grand Lodge

The dyslexic paladin fell because he was actually extending the unjust imprisonment of rou-vagoog, who was just an unfortunately named commoner.

the paladin slew a pit fiend


... When performing at the open mic comedy night at the Tartarus Tavern, with a very blue joke.

The paladin decided to collaborate with the bard to bring more children to church by learning how to rap and breakdance.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

The paladin was a very white Englishman, so his raps were so lame they drove everyone away.

The paladin refused to touch the Bag of Beans because it detected as chaotic.


The paladin fell because this caused their companion to make an "inappropriate touching" joke, causing the paladin to be associating with someone who offends their moral code.

The paladin converted Jar Jar Binks to the Sith.

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