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How do you all go about choosing a deity for a your character?
Do you simply look at the portfolio and choose regardless of what pantheon they are under, or do you limit yourself to an appropriate pantheon then decide from there?
For example, I am making a dhampir gunslinger who is a professional gambler. What deity is best for her? Why Nivi Rhombodazzle of course! But wait... she's a gnome deity, the only one in fact... worshipped by the deep gnomes... Does it really make sense for a dhampir to worship a deep gnome deity, even if said deity does have 'gambling' in her portfolio?
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Honestly, in my case, it depends entirely on what sort of character I'm building.
When I build a character, the deity I choose for him/her, more often than not, is one whose teachings & life philosophy fits my character's backstory the most. Sometimes I pick a deity from the Core Rulebook pantheon, sometimes I pick a deity that is thematically appropriate for the campaign (e.g. worshipping Brigh in an Iron Gods campaign), and sometimes I don't pick a deity for my character during chargen at all, letting my character's choice of deity come up through roleplaying.
For example, I am making a dhampir gunslinger who is a professional gambler. What deity is best for her? Why Nivi Rhombodazzle of course! But wait... she's a gnome deity, the only one in fact... worshipped by the deep gnomes... Does it really make sense for a dhampir to worship a deep gnome deity, even if said deity does have 'gambling' in her portfolio?
I think the answer is reasonably no. Unless the fella was raised by a Deep Gnome gambler or something along that oddness level (which feels way too forced).
First question is: how much is your character faithful/trustful into Gods? A very faithful character will want to worship the Deity who truly best embodies her path. But the average dude who isn't a Cleric or other divine-related class, assuming he even cares enough about the Gods, will just take the one fairly mainstream God (or the two, or more, because no one said you have to stick to a single God, in a pantheistic world such as Golarion) that comes closest within a reasonable alignment range. In your case, if your alignment is close enough, it would probably be Caiden for his easygoing/playful aspects, and maybe also some trait of Desna or others.
Another question is: is the gambling trait of your PC *so* important in choosing a deity? Sure, there are many gambling characters in fiction who call out to Gods of sort (usually Lady Luck) to bring them good fortune, but most gamblers usually tend to not care about any God. This will surely be mitigated in Golarion, where the Gods' existence and power are proven, but believing in Gods doesn't mean people have to be religious, and even less that they have to be religious about their gambling trait.
It's a world where the average common person finds herself praying to Erastil when going to hunt for feeding, to Gozreh when she has to traverse the Inner Sea by ship, and to Desna when travelling between cities, while her true, chosen, heartfelt patron might be Shelyn because she loves beautiful things.
So, unless you're really dying to give your character a specific flavor and shove it in every little facet of her life and personality, don't worry too much about your patron choice.
Provided alignment is in touch, if you're easygoing, pick Caiden. If you like magic (even though you don't even know any common cantrip's name), pick Nethys. If you're a shady guy who keeps to himself, pick Norgorber. Etc.
Welp, there's another Gambler Deity now, Irez, but they also might seem out of sorts for a Dhampir to worship. But hey, even half vampires might find angels attractive.
Unless the religion is part of the concept I go for a deity with close to the same alignment.
In your case...I probably would say no as without first answering how your character knows about the Deep Gnome god in the first place. I mean it is possible but for something that far away it would probably be a part of the concept instead of just tacked on.
It depends on the character.
For my reach cleric, I looked over the favored weapons of the good gods and then did further research on Shelyn. It was an interesting choice with good domains available, so I worked that into the character's personality and background.
For my Bloodrager, I picked Nethys because it made a lot of sense to me that someone with a magical bloodline would pick them and that god had the trait Magic is Life. I made the trait a big part of the build.
For my Paladin, I looked over all the Paladin codes and picked the one that looked most interesting. If I hadn't already had a cleric of Shelyn, it is likely I would have picked that god. As it was, I went for Erastil.
I've got a couple of characters that haven't committed to a god. They aren't Atheist, they just haven't made the teachings of any of the gods a central part of their character.
For your case, I wouldn't go with a Deep Gnome god. There is probably more to your gunslinger than just guns and gambling. I could see them being a follower of Calistria. Vengeance on any who attempt to cheat you. Gambling winnings going to the church via helping someone perform their deific obedience.
If you really want to focus on gambling, Desna could also be an appropriate choice. Doing this means he should also recognize that at times luck will be against him.
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I general let the character's backstory inform the choice. Sometimes the worship more than one. I had a paladin that worshipped Iomedae, Erastil, and Torag (Erastil because that was the god her parents venerated, Iomedae was the god whose Order she belonged to, and Torag because she was more a smith than a soldier and felt kinship with the god of the forge).
I generally start with story and then build the character - so even for a cleric or something I'm much more likely to pick a deity and then see what domains are available rather than the other way around.
In general, the way I choose is to browse Inner Sea Gods until I strike a paragraph that appeals to me. My devout characters are often from obscure, borderline heretical sects and generally something will jump out from reading the flavor material for the various gods - usually some minor goal or belief that I can amplify in importance.
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Welp, there's another Gambler Deity now, Irez, but they also might seem out of sorts for a Dhampir to worship. But hey, even half vampires might find angels attractive.
Ooooh actually she would work great, especially if I ended up multiclassing her into a card caster or something (I've thought about it)
As for her not being a cleric so not needing a god, no she doesn't 'need' a god, but I usually still have my non-cleric characters worship a god that fits their interests.
Then as for her being a 'dhampir' and worshipping an empyreal lord really I don't see her being a dhampir having anything to do with it any more than it does for a human. Dhampir are not 'born evil.' Sure many do end up evil, but so do many humans. The only reason a dhampir (at least the way I see it) is more likely to be evil is because of the hate of others driving them to it.
I find that, in general, my method varies according to the type of character I am designing. For characters that are at all divine, deity choice is one of the earliest, most fundamental choices I make, and everything else about the character flows from that choice. In cases like this, I start by browsing through stuff like Inner Sea Gods or Chronicle of the Righteous until I find a deity that really clicks with me and suggests an interesting character. I particularly pay a lot of attention to the tenets of that deity which might lead someone to a life of adventure, as well as to the ritual required for their obedience boon.
Clerics of Shelyn would go adventuring to protect and/or preserve that which they find beautiful in the world. They might go delving deep into ancient ruins to retrieve ancient works of poetry, then bring them back to a shrine or temple to share with the modern world and see that the poems are transcribed and spread to libraries far and wide.
On the other hand, for most other concepts, deity choice comes very late in the process, and tends to reflect the choices I have already made about the character. My character's deity will always say something fundamental about her values and what she holds dear. Abadar may be the god of merchants, but he values peace and stability, the very things an adventurer is unlikely to ever experience. An adventurer would follow Abadar not because they're wealth obsessed, but because they see a world filled with anarchy and strife, and reject that reality as the way things must be. They wish for everyone to experience the benefits of civilization, and all the wonderful things that peaceful trade can buy.