CMI response Thread


RPG Superstar™ General Discussion

151 to 188 of 188 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | next > last >>
Star Voter Season 9

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Trekkie90909 wrote:

Canary's Mining Helmet

Thanks for the feedback! Glad to know I wasn't entirely off base.

I agree it may be a little pricey, but with the spell adjustments I didn't want to cut costs and get booted early for doing the math wrong. a mining foreman was exactly what I had in mind. The original name was "Mine Sueveyor's Cap" but didn't speak to me like the ultimate choice.

Re: other uses, some friends brought this up after submission and we came up with some out of the box uses for the Detect Metal. Find out who in the bar has gold in their pockets or cold iron weapons, etc. just some thoughts if anyone wants to use at home!

Thanks for the critique! I really appreciate it!

Dedicated Voter Season 9

Quote:

Drunken Bow

Aura moderate conjuration, faint necromancy; CL 11th
Slot none; Price 45,380 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
This reddish maple wood shortbow has many carvings across its length, seeming hollow inside. It has a replacement bowstring with a cradle attached, like the one on a flask thrower. It can be used to hurl alchemical substances and splash weapons. A flask containing a contact or inhaled poison can be thrown as a splash weapon from this bow; an inhaled poison thrown this way will affect creatures as a poison bomb ninja trick, while a contact poison will have full effect on a direct hit and allow a +4 on the save to a splashed creature.
The bow may be “charged” by pouring a mug of alcoholic drink in its carvings, making them appear “full” and glow red. When so “charged”, the drunken bow becomes a +2 endless ammunition shortbow for an hour. On a critical hit, the target is sickened for 1 minute.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Sickening Critical, ray of sickening; Cost 23,190 gp

Formatting:

This is nit-picky but along is a better way of describing the direction of carvings on a (vertical) bow as opposed to across for a (horizontal) crossbow. Are the carvings seemingly hollow? If so that’s a weird description. Is the bow seemingly hollow? How does an observer notice that? How/why would a bow be hollow? My take: “This reddish maple wood shortbow has many carvings etched along its length (interior? Exterior? Both?). These may be filled with a mug of alcoholic drink, at which point they glow (a specific shade of) red, and shimmer in and out of vision drunkenly.”

The shortbow needs to be at least +1 before it can have magical abilities added to it. How does drunken bow equate endless ammunition? Does it forget how to count? I might have gone a drunken-boxing inspired route and say the arrows seem to sway drunkenly in flight making it harder for opponents to predict their target with some language about a feint effect.

The splash weapon bit is maybe more in line with the drunken theme; contrary to what the movies would have us think I don’t know many people who spill beer everywhere when drunk so this is less appealing to me.

Item is overpriced.

Does this add something to the game?

No.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

No.

As a GM?

No.

Point at which I would stop up-voting this (based on this year’s experiences): Pre to First Cull

Dedicated Voter Season 9

Goll McMorna wrote:
Trekkie90909 wrote:

Canary's Mining Helmet

Thanks for the feedback! Glad to know I wasn't entirely off base.

I agree it may be a little pricey, but with the spell adjustments I didn't want to cut costs and get booted early for doing the math wrong. a mining foreman was exactly what I had in mind. The original name was "Mine Sueveyor's Cap" but didn't speak to me like the ultimate choice.

Re: other uses, some friends brought this up after submission and we came up with some out of the box uses for the Detect Metal. Find out who in the bar has gold in their pockets or cold iron weapons, etc. just some thoughts if anyone wants to use at home!

Thanks for the critique! I really appreciate it!

Happy to do so; I really enjoyed the item the few times I saw it!

I didn't think of it earlier, but granting the ability to detect the composition of gasses so the wearer can tell if they're noxious, flammable, or benign would have added a lot of utility without stepping on anyone's toes and played better into the mining foreman theme.

Dedicated Voter Season 9

Quote:

Portable Excavation

Aura faint conjuration; CL 7th
Slot —; Price 3,000 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
DESCRIPTION
Though only six inches long, this iron hammer is as unwieldy, and as heavy, as though it were ten times its size. As a full-round action, the portable excavation can be used to strike a solid surface, creating a temporary passage up to three feet in diameter and up to five feet deep through solid material, such as dirt, stone or wood. Passage through other materials is possible, though one foot of metal, a thin sheet of lead, or any living or magical material blocks the passage. The surface through with the passage is made isn't destroyed or even damaged: it is merely displaced into an extradimensional space, and reappears after 24 hours leaving the original surface unharmed. Creatures inside the space when the effect ends are harmlessly shunted to a space on either side of the passage at their choosing. Once the portable excavation has been used to create a passage, it becomes a nonmagical iron hammer.
CONSTRUCTION
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, create pit , stone shape ; Cost 1,500 gp

Formatting:

‘…is as unwieldy and heavy as though…’ Metal, and lead (which is also metal) are both inherently solid materials so saying the item goes through ‘most’ solid materials would be more appropriate. Magical and living material are often, but not always solid. Other minor spelling and grammar mistakes.

Does this add something to the game?
Potentially a way around many tricky puzzles or encounters, depending on dungeon layout.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

I like having random useful things, so this appeals to my inner packrat jack-of-all-trades.

As a GM?

Ugh. Well it could be worse, but I spent a lot of time developing the evil trap of PC doom… Which is ‘entirely’ fair despite the name guys, I promise. Kek kek kek.

Point at which I would stop up-voting this (based on this year’s experiences): Around the second or third cull.

Dedicated Voter Season 9

Quote:

Windcaller's Edge

Aura faint evocation; CL 5th
Slot none; Price 32,000 gp; Weight 6 lbs.
Description
The blade of this +2 katana bears the etchings of a simple cloud motif down the blade and pommel. When held, a swirling wind surrounds the wielder, filling his space and any space within his reach with a moderate wind. In addition, the wielder can cast wind wall up to three times per day as a standard action. A wind wall cast from the sword can be a vertical wall, a sphere with a radius of 10ft, or a cube that is 15ft on all sides. Any creature of small size or smaller trapped inside must make a DC 15 Str check to break through the winds. Gaseous creatures cannot break through.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, alter wind, wind wall; Cost 15,850 gp

Formatting:

I haven’t played League in about 2 years now, and I still thought ‘hi there Yasuo, go back to the League of Legends’ when I read this.

Having the wind affect the wielder could be very bad for him. I’m not sure what the advantage of the sphere shaped effect is if I can have a cube which is larger. It’s also less evident to me what the center of these shapes would be than the wall, which is quite obviously going to extend outward in the direction of the cut/thrust (this could still use some attention in your description).

Does this add something to the game?

Slightly modified spell in a can.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

Wind affects can be a little annoying, but overall I’d be fine with it and feel the item favors the party.

As a GM?

It’s ok; plays well for a samurai type who can stop bullets.

Point at which I would stop up-voting this (based on this year’s experiences): First to Second cull

Dedicated Voter Season 9

Quote:

Soul Brew Barrel

Auramoderate conjuration, enchantment and transmutation; CL 10th
Slot none; Price 171,000 gp; Weight 120 lbs.
Description
This large white oak barrel is perfect for aging whiskey or similar spirits. Only elaborate knotwork carvings on the lid that sometimes resemble evolving humanoid figures hint at its other purpose.
A willing or helpless medium or smaller humanoid sealed into the barrel with the aging spirits need not eat, breathe, and are considered unconscious until the cask is opened. Gradually, they soak up the flavor and characteristics associated with the surrounding brew. With a successful Profession (brewer) check (DC 10+days aged inside the barrel) characteristics detailed below, skill ranks, archetypes, class features, feats, known spells and class levels may be instilled as if retrained (Ultimate Campaign) using those rules unless otherwise noted below. Changes are determined by the brewer and need not be voluntary.
Characteristic
Spells Known: 1 per spell level per day.
Skills: 1 point per 1 day. Target chooses skill point replaced.
Physical appearance (weight, height, eye color, hair etc.): 2 days.
Class features: 2 per feature. May be used to gain or lose archetypes.
Age category raised or lowered by one (Affects both physical and mental stats.): 3 day pre age category.
Replace one language: 3 days
Feats: 3 days
Gender: 5 days
One other change is perceived as their natural state: 5 days
Class levels (Classes with retraining synergies or npc classes only. Archetypes may be chosen at first level only.) 6 days per level.
Changes take place in order of least expensive to most. If the process is interrupted all uncompleted changes are lost.
Construction Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Modify Memory, Reincarnate, Sepia Snake Sigil, Suggestion 10 ranks Profession (brewer) Cost 85,500 gp

Formatting:

I would have liked more description of the spirits used in the process; a tie in to that would have been more thematic given the barrel’s description.

Does this add something to the game?
No. The retraining rules or elixir of sex shift are actually better options at this price.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

I mean I’d use it if it were free and I felt inclined to change something.

As a GM?

No, I’d either use the retraining rules or simply allow the player to remake their character. As a positive note: it's not a terrible idea for reflavoring the re-training process, that said it really doesn't add anything.

Point at which I would stop up-voting this (based on this year’s experiences): First Cull.

Dedicated Voter Season 9

Quote:

Third hand helmet

Aura Moderate transmutation; CL 8th
Slot Head; Price 42,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
This steel helmet has a burnished hand on top of it. Upon saying its command word, a long metallic arm springs out of it, allowing its user to use the helmet’s extra hand for an hour, after which, it retracts until the command word is spoken again. The arm can extend as much as 10 feet and can move or manipulate objects of up to 12 pounds in that radius. As a swift action, the hand can also be used to attack any person within that range, granting its wearer an extra attack at his highest base attack bonus. It can make either unarmed attacks as a gauntlet or use any weapon it has previously grasped (in this case, the arm is considered proficient with any weapon its wearer is). Finally, the helmet grants a +2 circumstance bonus on grapple, climb, disable device and swim checks while its arm is extended.
Construction Requirements Craft wondrous item, Mage hand, Caster must have a base attack bonus of 4 or higher; Cost 21,000 gp

Formatting:

Reads as a stealth-patch for the multi-limb/multi-weapon fighting rules. The circumstance bonus is a neat idea.

Does this add something to the game?

No.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

No.

As a GM?

No.

Point at which I would stop up-voting this (based on this year’s experiences): Pre-cull.

Dedicated Voter Season 9

Quote:

Tome of the Journeyman

Aura moderate divination; CL 6th
Slot none; Price 10,000 gp; Weight 10 lbs.
Description
This large book is filled with insight into all walks of life. It never has the same appearance twice, but always feels familiar to those who have read it. A player who studies the book while focusing on a specific task will be pulled into its pages.
The book can be used to enter a 15-foot-by-15-foot extra-dimensional space that becomes perfectly suited for the desired Knowledge, Profession, or Craft skill check. The space can hold one creature, up to size category Large, at a time. A player can only use the book in a situation where they could otherwise choose to take 10 on a skill check.
The book allows a player to make any Knowledge or Profession skill check untrained. Masterwork tools and pristine texts are readily available and grant a +2 circumstance bonus on any check made inside the space. There are no material components found within. None of the tools or texts may be removed. Only items created in the space may be removed.
The book’s material and design change after every use to better represent the extra-dimensional space that was created. The air surrounding the book changes, and a corresponding scent is generated (i.e. the unique smell of an ancient library when seeking facts lost to time or varying herbs and smoke when completing alchemical processes.)
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Breadth of Experience, rope trick, masterwork transformation; Cost 5,000 gp

Formatting:

I might have left some provision for materials left within the room to persist. Some mention of the actual text in the book would have been appreciated for thematic value. Some explicit tie-in to journeymen would have been appreciated; the closest analogue is allowing PCs (not players) to make certain checks untrained.

Does this add something to the game?

It’s a much more expensive and versatile portable alchemist’s lab with some very nice flavor text and a couple added provisions.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

Sure.

As a GM?

Sure, the price seems high though.

Point at which I would stop up-voting this (based on this year’s experiences): After the second cull.

Dedicated Voter Season 9

Quote:

Damoclean Sword

Aura: Moderate Transmutation CL 8th
Slot – Price 18,641gp Weight] 4lbs.
[b] Description This is the Sword of Kings, symbolizing the peril of rule, marking its wielder as a person of power and one to watch: watch for anger, watch for wisdom, watch for weakness. It is rumored that even more powerful versions of this weapon exists, hovering in constant judgment of those who wield their power, and it's rumored that some 'Swords fall upon their rulers. Some try to give these swords away, and can find no takers.
In it's basic form, a Damoclean Sword is is a +1 Merciful Longsword. It grants the wielder the Leadership Feat when and if you meet the prerequisites, and it gives you a +2 on Intimidate and Diplomacy Checks. You must make a Will Save of 20 if you are to claim this sword for yourself. If you fail this save you will not willingly touch it or carry it. When not being used, it floats near its wielder, pointing constantly towards her, preferring to hang just above her head for all to see. It still may be drawn as if it were a regular sword, rotating and moving toward the wielder's hand. Normally, drawing the sword as a Move action, the same as a regular sword.

Formatting:

Fractured; this would have been strengthened if it were left as one item rather than a set. Submitting an allegorical symbol is difficult; your item will immediately come under scrutiny to make sure that it truly embodies the moral it espouses. I think you’ve made a misstep here, for one the Damoclean sword is in no way merciful and the parable of the story is supposed to be ‘the grass is always greener on the other side,’ more to discourage those who would usurp the throne than a warning for those already in power. Given this line of thinking the sword’s mechanics don’t support its theme.

Does this add something to the game?

Items acting in judgment of the characters who wield them is getting into the intelligent item/artifact area—beyond the scope of this competition.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

No.

As a GM?

Maybe something similar, but a line of cursed items controlled by a king or other ruler to discourage traitors.

Point at which I would stop up-voting this (based on this year’s experiences): Pre to First Cull

Dedicated Voter Season 9

Quote:

Arc Rider Armor, electric

Aura moderate evocation and transmutation; CL 6th
Slot armor; Price 13,750 gp; Weight 30 lbs.
Description
With one shoulder open and a sweeping blue metallic bolt for a pauldron on the other, this +2 expeditious breastplate skitters with tiny electric bolts.
Attacks and effects dealing electricity damage cause the armor’s wearer to lift off the ground in a bright blue arc of energy. This electric bolt buzzes thunderously as it shakes the ground and lasts 1 round for every die of the effect.
While the blue energy fills the area below her, the wearer hovers 15 ft. in the air. She gains a speed of 60 ft. and may ignore terrain if it is less than 5 ft. tall. She can pass over creatures Large size or smaller during her movement. Any creature whose square the arc passes through takes 3d6 points of electricity damage. A successful Reflex save (DC 14) halves this damage. Targets in metal armor suffer a -3 penalty to this save. The arc can only deal damage to each target once per round, no matter how many times the wearer’s movement takes it over a target creature.
When using the expeditious ability of the armor, the wearer may choose to ignite the arc and gain its hovering effect to ignore terrain. This does not increase her speed or grant the electricity damage. The wearer is treated as always having a running start when jumping while either arc is active.
Traveling over water immediately grounds the arc ending its effects. Effects granting resistance to electricity end the arc and affect the wearer as the slow spell for 1d3 rounds (no save).
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, air step, expeditious retreat, lightning bolt; Cost 7,050 gp

Formatting:

Damage die? Fly speed? Base speed? If I’m 15’ in the air why would I not ignore terrain less than 15’ tall, much less 5’ tall? Doesn’t the arc automatically make the user hover? Why do I need to activate the hover as part of the expeditious ability? If I’m igniting the ability to hover, thus placing myself above creatures to deal damage why can I no longer deal damage and why don’t I benefit from the expeditious ability? Is this meant to be a way to activate the armor when they aren’t being targeted by electricity? We could use a word or two to that effect.

Water grounds the electricity, but not ground? I mean the ground is grounding the effect since the arc travels down to it and the electricity disperses at that point; shorts the effect maybe?

Does this add something to the game?

It reminds me of a certain phoenix stance from the Book of Nine Swords; to my knowledge there is no analogous effect in Pathfinder. That said there was a similar item submission this year which I think does this better.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

Maybe with a clearer description.

As a GM?

Ditto.

Point at which I would stop up-voting this (based on this year’s experiences): First Cull.

Dedicated Voter Season 9

Quote:

Jar of Captured Nightmares

Aura minor enchantment and evocation, moderate illusion; CL 10th
Slot none; Price 4,900 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
When uncovered the jar’s contents reduce light as a darkness spell. Those who look into the jar see writhing shapes, that at one moment seems to be a tentacle trying to burst its glass prison, a coiled taxidermy snake that blinks, or dozens skittering legs that obscure what is certain to be a hideous central body.
The jar can be thrown as a splash weapon, on a hit the target must succeed a Will Save DC 15 with a -5 penalty or immediately fall asleep for 1 minute as deep slumber and is subject to the nightmare spell. The target takes damage from the nightmare once per round, and upon waking is fatigued.
As long as the target sleeps the creature emanates a 60 ft. radius of deeper darkness. Anyone inside the area of deeper darkness also experiences the nightmare phantasms of the target of the jar, with no penalty to the Will Save to avoid the damage, this is a mind-effecting, illusion effect with the fear descriptor.
If the attack roll misses, the jar breaks and releases deeper darkness for one round centered upon the square it hits before dispersing. If the target succeeds the initial Will Save then the jar breaks and releases the deeper darkness effect for one round centered on the target, before dispersing.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, deeper darkness, deep slumber, nightmare; Cost 2,450 gp

Formatting:

What if I can’t see in the darkness? Do I still see things in the jar? Does seeing these weird creatures have an effect on me?

Given that splash weapons target touch AC the -5 penalty on the save seems punishing. Further there is no description for what happens to those caught in the spash, only a direct hit. 6d10 damage is a huge buff over nightmare’s normal 1d10 in addition to the sleep effect and the fatigue penalty afterwards.

A 60’ radius waking nightmare effect is rather strong and likely penalizing for the user.

If I miss this is a REALLY expensive third level spell in a can.

Does this add something to the game?

It tweaks nightmare.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

No.

As a GM?

It’s o~k~; it’s a strong consumable, appropriate for a higher level boss battle. The party would likely eihter counter the deeper darkness immediately or automatically cancel it with their heightened continual flame and then move to wake their comrade so basically we’re looking at 0-2d10 in an aoe plus part of a round of total concealment within the darkness and we (hopefully) fatigue the party barbarian if he wasn't raging.

Point at which I would stop up-voting this (based on this year’s experiences): First Cull

Dedicated Voter Season 9

Quote:

Thousand Fold Armor

Aura strong abjuration; CL 13th
Slot none; Price 17,750 gp Weight 15 lb.
Description
This +1 light fortification scale mail is surprisingly un-restrictive, and easy to move in. A detailed inspection of the armor reveals that each scale is formed from fine rice paper folded innumerable times and sealed with resin and lacquer.
Thousand fold armor weighs half as much as normal scale mail, has an armor check penalty of only -2 and a maximum Dexterity bonus of +4. While wearing thousand fold armor and speaking the correct command word, the wearer may conjure an origami swarm (Ultimate Equipment pg. 314) three times per day, which functions in all ways as the wondrous item of the same name. Only one origami swarm may be conjured at a time, and while the swarm is active thousand fold armor’s total granted AC bonus is reduced by 1.
By touching a spell scroll to a single specific scale of the thousand fold armor and speaking the command word, the scroll is affected by shrink item and is attached to the scale touched. Anytime thereafter the wearer may touch that same scale and speak the command word again, and the stored scroll appears in hand as per retrieve item. Thousand fold armor may only hold up to 5 scrolls in this fashion at any given time.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, animate objects, limited wish or miracle, retrieve item, shrink item; Cost 9,050 gp

Formatting:

I look at the name and immediately want to hyphenate the name to thousand-fold armor, then put a big S on the chest or some descriptive text about glowing yellow hair and green eyes. I admit this as a personal failing having nothing to do with your actual item, which is quite appropriate for the name as written.

‘Unrestrictive and easy to move in’ is redundant; if you want to elaborate on its lack of restriction do so with a description; what does it allow the wearer to do which he is normally restricted from doing, or provide a brief description of someone performing an act requiring more flexible armor than normal.

Fortification is an interesting ability choice for an item which is more flexible than most, and made of weaker materials; I’m not entirely against this, but wonder if another choice would have been more thematic.

I like the origami swarm bit; I think you could go a step farther in the description, lowering the armor’s AC by 1 for every swarm used, perhaps with a caveat that living swarms can re-attach themselves to the armor if the wearer is within their area at the end of its 5 round duration. In doing so it would not be remiss to allow the wearer to have more than one swarm active at a time, although some language about the paper re-growing would have to be added.

The scroll ability is neat, and plays well to the paper theme, but it’s a far cry removed from the swarm ability which makes the item feel a bit disjointed/SAK. Further, while the origami swarm plays nicely into the specific imagery of the scales the scroll is a weaker tie-in; not the least because scrolls tend to be scribed on vellum.

Does this add something to the game?

Yes, in addition to a nifty new armor material (with some very pleasing imagery) we get a thematically appropriate swarm item, and a nifty scroll retrieval system.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

Potentially, were I an armored caster or someone with high UMD.

As a GM?

It’s reasonably written and balanced; it doesn’t immediately inspire an NPC encounter but I could see the players enjoying it.

Point at which I would stop up-voting this (based on this year’s experiences): After the Fourth Cull


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Trekkie90909 wrote:
Quote:

Damoclean Sword

Aura: Moderate Transmutation CL 8th
Slot – Price 18,641gp Weight] 4lbs.
Description This is the Sword of Kings, symbolizing the peril of rule, marking its wielder as a person of power and one to watch: watch for anger, watch for wisdom, watch for weakness. It is rumored that even more powerful versions of this weapon exists, hovering in constant judgment of those who wield their power, and it's rumored that some 'Swords fall upon their rulers. Some try to give these swords away, and can find no takers.
In it's basic form, a Damoclean Sword is is a +1 Merciful Longsword. It grants the wielder the Leadership Feat when and if you meet the prerequisites, and it gives you a +2 on Intimidate and Diplomacy Checks. You must make a Will Save of 20 if you are to claim this sword for yourself. If you fail this save you will not willingly touch it or carry it. When not being used, it floats near its wielder, pointing constantly towards her, preferring to hang just above her head for all to see. It still may be drawn as if it were a regular sword, rotating and moving toward the wielder's hand. Normally, drawing the sword as a Move action, the same as a regular sword.

Formatting:

Fractured; this would have been strengthened if it were left as one item rather than a set. Submitting an allegorical symbol is difficult; your item will immediately come under scrutiny to make sure that it truly embodies the moral it espouses. I think you’ve made a misstep here, for one the Damoclean sword is in no way merciful and the parable of the story is supposed to be ‘the grass is always greener on the other side,’ more to discourage those who would usurp the throne than a warning for those already in power. Given this line of thinking the sword’s mechanics don’t support its theme.

Does this add something to the game?

Items acting in judgment of the characters who wield them is getting into the intelligent item/artifact area—beyond the scope of this competition.

Would I want this...

Giving it the Merciful Enchantment was intended to enable it to subjugate rather than kill opponents when used as a weapon, but "Merciful" is not a very good name for that, anymore.

It would have worked better as an Artifact than as a regular magic item, and admittedly, I did strip some of my ideas off of it to make it fit the contest.

Thanks for the feedback. I can see why it would be first-to-cull.

Dedicated Voter Season 9

Quote:

Bola of Binding Burning

Aura Moderate Abjuration, Evocation and Transmutation; CL 13th
Slot none; Price 46750gp; Weight 8 lbs.
DESCRIPTION
This +1 Holy Flaming Adamantine bola burns with a brilliant white flame and is connected by a heavy chain inscribed with glowing red runes; instead of a cord making it rather unwieldly imposing an additional -1 penalty to hit per range increment. The Bola was originally crafted as a means to capture or kill demons issuing from the worldwound, but has spread to wider use and is popular with unscrupulous summoners and any who plan to face evil outsiders being just as effective on all lower planar creatures. When any evil outsider is successfully tripped by the bolas it instantly wraps around the target entangling it and engaging a second function, acting as an immoveable rod and a set of dimensional shackels the creature is quite effectively bound. While so bound the flaming property of the weapon persists in a fasion and deals divine damage instead of fire for 2d6 divine damage per round the creature is so bound. This causes a quite painful and unfamilar feeling in evil outsiders, that of burning. This can be used as an excellent means of coercion (an evil act) providing a +8 bonus on intimidate checks or charisma checks for planar binding spells, though use in this fasion almost always causes the outsider to seek vengance at a future date. The weapons owner may choose to suppress or reactivate this ability once a round as a free action as long as the weapon is within 300 feet. The bola has a break and Escape Artist DC 30, Hardness 20 and 13 hp
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Flame Strike, Dimensional Anchor, Levitate, Holy Smite,
creator must be good; Cost 23375gp

Blurb: oops! Missed one.

Formatting:
Some punctuation issues; read up on commas, semicolons, and colons for next year. It’s a bit unclear if the -1 penalty to hit is also applied to the first range increment; I would think yes, but I could see an argument for no. Spelling issues throughout. Minor template issues.

A burning bola to capture demons (associated with/immune to fire) is not terribly strong imagery. I would have liked some special anti-demon material here or an elaboration on the holy nature of the runes. For that matter burning red runes makes me think ‘evil guy/item.’

Immovable rod + dimensional shackles is very strong, I’m left wondering if I’ll ever be able to afford the item. Fire damage which becomes holy damage could have been better written as holy damage from the start. Reduces clutter, saves words.

I picture burning bolas as being useful for capturing and imprisoning demons, yet they’re useful for binding and enslaving them; again elements I don’t associate with those of a holy persuasion.

Does this add something to the game?

Demon binding has room for growth and development, although your execution leaves a lot to be desired.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

No.

As a GM?

No; largely because I don’t like cluttering the game up with summons, and this item seems to encourage that.

Point at which I would stop up-voting this (based on this year’s experiences): First Cull

Dedicated Voter Season 9

Quote:

Well-Seasoned Cleaver

Aura moderate necromancy CL 5th
Slot none; Price 96,306 gp; Weight 7 lbs.
Description
This hefty darkwood-handled +1 furyborn fire-forged steel handaxe appears to be no more than an imposing slab of thick bloodstained steel pocked with holes and cracks laden with the remains of fallen enemies. Though the weapon bears evidence of masterful craftsmanship, the handle is covered with crudely scrawled recipes and measurement diagrams, detailing the preparation of tooth-chip pie, stuffed eyes, and tongue-kebabs.
When used to deliver the killing blow on an enemy, the weapon’s holes and crevices pack with remnants of the defeated foe, granting it special characteristics. When filled, it has an alignment matching the slain enemy and subjects of successful melee attacks immediately contract filth fever. Successful melee attacks against already afflicted targets progress the disease by one step along the physical track. These characteristics persist until the weapon has been cleaned, which is an involved process that takes a full hour to complete.
After 24 hours without cleaning, the well-seasoned cleaver attracts an army ant swarm (Bestiary 16) that attacks the nearest living creature when the weapon is first disturbed or unsheathed each day. In addition, creatures within 10 feet of the unsheathed weapon must make a DC 12 fortitude save or be nauseated for one minute. This can only occur once per day.
If clean, this weapon doubles the duration of applied blanches, poisons, infusions, and other liquid alchemical enhancements. When used for cooking the weapon grants its bearer a +5 bonus to profession (cook) skill checks made to prepare meals. If performing this task with an unclean well-seasoned cleaver, meals are infected with filth fever.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, align weapon, contagion, rage; Creator must have 5 ranks in the Profession (Cook) skill; Cost 48,153 gp

Random question: why all the furyborn items this year?

Formatting:

How long do the holes remain filled with enemy remains? Some mention of the army ant swarm’s storage (such as in the handle) would have helped integrate the ability; as written it feels like it’s just added on; similarly the doubled alchemical item duration, though justifiable, feels like an SAK. Progressing the disease is an optional element introduced in unchained, as such it may not have broad appeal.

Does this add something to the game?

Yes, though a tad gruesome and perhaps more suited to say a dog-slicer or horse-chopper than a handaxe this item explores the mindset of its deranged maker. It would make a nice plot or setting-piece.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

I would not have one, and I’d be leery of any PC which did. That said it adds flavor to the game, and would make for a nice evil NPC weapon.

As a GM?

I could make an NPC around this.

Point at which I would stop up-voting this (based on this year’s experiences): Around the third cull.

Dedicated Voter Season 9

Quote:

Deadly Blade Bandolier

Aura faint evocation; CL 5th
Slot belt or chest; Price 3,000 gp (+1), 12,000 gp (+2), 27,000 gp (+3), 48,000 (+4), 75,000 gp (+5); gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
The deadly blade bandolier is favored by those skilled at throwing blades in combat. When a masterwork blade (dagger, lungchuan tamo, shuriken, star knife, or throwing axe) or dart (including a wushu dart) is sheathed in the deadly blade bandolier, the blade is infused with the properties of the bandolier. The process of infusing the weapon takes one full round after the blade has been sheathed. Only masterwork throwing blades are able to be infused. Blades that are already magical are unaffected by the power of the bandolier. You can wear up to two bandoliers at the same time, one in the belt slot and one in the chest slot. Each bandolier can hold up to six blades.
The deadly blade bandolier can grant weapon special abilities, so long as they can be applied to the thrown weapon. Special abilities count as additional bonuses for determining the market value of the item, but do not modify attack or damage bonuses. A deadly blade bandolier cannot have a modified bonus (enhancement bonus plus special ability bonus equivalents) higher than +5. A deadly blade bandolier must have at least a +1 enhancement bonus before granting a melee weapon special ability. The bandolier may also have the Glamered armor property (+2,700 gp).
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, creator's caster level must be at least three times the bandolier’s bonus, plus any requirements of the melee weapon special abilities or glamered armor special ability; Cost 1,500 gp (+1), 6,000 gp (+2), 13,500 gp (+3), 24,000 gp (+4), 37,500 gp (+5)

Formatting:

Look at the stirgenest quiver for some good pointers on fluffing out mechanical descriptions. You want to captivate the reader’s attention, drawing them into your theme, not turn them off with a lot of mechanical prose.

The actual mechanics are basically and older version of the amulet of mighty fists, but applied to bladed weapons.

Glamered armor property feels like a weird add-on.

Does this add something to the game?
Expands the role of the AoMF. There’s a niche for this; I actually have a character who would really like this. It does not show much design talent however.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

Yes, it would defray some costs for specific characters.

As a GM?

No, Ultimate Intrigue already released a general rules revision which would allow me to work around the issue.

Point at which I would stop up-voting this (based on this year’s experiences): Second Cull

Dedicated Voter Season 9

Quote:

Lei of Lost Souls

Aura faint conjuration; CL 3rd
Slot neck; Price 2000 gp; Weight 1lbs.
Discription
This wreath of white lilies smells of the sea and never wilts. Each flower has a deep red center in the shape of a star. Once per day, a character may use a standard action to pluck a flower from the Lei of Lost Souls and blow it into the air. The flower then multiplies, forming a 15 foot cyclone of flowers around the wearer. Within the cyclone invisible but tangible humanoid shapes are able to be discerned from where the flowers are hitting them. These figures are an extention of the wearer's memories and will often remind the wearer of people they have lost.
Any time a creature performs an action that would provoke an attack of opportunity within the 15 foot radius of whirling flowers, the wearer of the Lei of Lost Souls may make an attack of opportunity as if the creature was within the wearer's reach. The humanoid shapes allow the wearer to attack twice when making an attack of opportunity. This effect lasts 10 minutes.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, unseen servant, thirty lilies; Cost 1000 gp

Formatting:

I don’t associate lilies with the sea, so there’s a small disconnect there. The cyclone imagery is good, flowing well from your description but I fail to see how memories and wind borne flowers translate into extended reach and extra attacks of opportunity.

I did like the lily requirement in the construction details; little details like that would factor into a tie-breaker if necessary (I only saw 4 pairings which required a tie-breaking factor out of 500+ votes, so it's not super important but was appreciated).

Does this add something to the game?

More like a rules stealth-patch; the imagery is nice.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

No.

As a GM?

No. I'm all excited about memory ties in and flowers then the actual ability is bland and out of place.

Point at which I would stop up-voting this (based on this year’s experiences): First Cull

Dedicated Voter Season 9

Quote:

Phantasmal Cup

Aura moderate transmutation; CL 10th
Slot none; Price 18,000gp; Weight 1lb.
Description
This ornate stemmed cup appears to be made of silvery glass, and is covered in depictions of swirling spirits. Possession of the cup grants a +1 bonus to hit and damage with attacks made of ectoplasm or attacks by creatures made of ectoplasm under your control. While spells that use ectoplasm gain +1 to their DCs.
Once a day, the wielder may will the cup to fill with ectoplasm, and drink from it as a full round action. Imbibing temporarily transforms the drinker into being of ectoplasm. While in this form the drinker may move through walls and nonliving objects using phase lurch as the ectoplasmic creature ability (Bestiary 4 82). In addition the drinker’s weapon and natural attacks pass through nonliving matter, ignoring any armor or shield bonuses to AC (including any enhancement bonuses to that armor) her opponents might have. Enemies with ghost touch armor defend as if the drinker were incorporeal. The effects of drinking only lasts for 1 minute, after which the drinker is left covered in silvery ectoplasm which quickly evaporates.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Ectoplasmic Spell,undead anatomy II; 9,000gp

Formatting:

I’m left wondering what the depictions are made with; is it enamelling? Are they blown directly into the glass? Dried blood-images of the virgins whose life-essence was sacrificed into the cup?

You leave a few sentence fragments; they’re clear enough not to detract much from your writing but anything which feels unfinished will weaken your final work.

The +x to y spells is appropriate for the item’s name, but does not flow well from the cup description. Some mention of what the user is doing with the cup to gain these benefits would be very much appreciated. In fact, some mention of the cup’s contents would be helpful; I imagine it should contain ectoplasm. There should be supportive imagery about the cup which ties it into the item name and benefits.

The ‘once per day’ active is VERY strong, disproportionate to the +x bonus from the preceeding paragraph. It also fragments the design for your item; on the one hand it’s aimed at casters, particularly those with a lot of ectoplasmic abilities. On the other hand it seems designed for weapon users, since targeting touch AC is hugely powerful. Granted the ectoplasmic form from the active means that a melee will benefit from the first paragraph once per day, but that’s not a strong argument for its inclusion.

So we’re left with another magus or blade archetype arcanist item; maybe including bloodrager or certain divine casters.

Does this add something to the game?

Phasing through things is hard to do on the PCs end, so it gives them a few extra options.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

Situationally useful, wouldn’t buy it but would keep it if looted.

As a GM?

I put walls there for a reason, damn it. The once per day nature of the active does limit abuse, on the other hand there just isn’t enough item development to justify creating an encounter which utilizes this well.

Point at which I would stop up-voting this (based on this year’s experiences): Second Cull

Dedicated Voter Season 9

Quote:

Pendant of Overwhelming Flame

Aura strong evocation; CL 13th
Slot neck; Price 21,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
This smoldering red pendant is hot to the touch, and smells faintly of smoke and ash. Crafted from crimson glass and shaped into a perfect sphere, it is affixed to a heavy brass chain and linked to the elemental plane of fire. This pendant allows the wearer to channel tremendous amounts of extra-planar flame to overwhelm the fire resistance of other creatures.
As a free action, the wearer of a pendant of overwhelming flame can bypass up to 10 points of fire resistance with their spells, weapons, and abilities that inflict fire damage, for up to 10 rounds each day. The wearer can instead expend two rounds of use to bypass up to 20 points of fire resistance or inflict half of their fire damage to creatures with immunity to fire. While the pendant is activated, the wearer's weapons, spells, and abilities that deal fire damage do an additional 2d6 points of fire damage. These rounds do not have to be consecutive.
Construction
Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, flame blade, flame strike or fireball, plane shift; Cost 10,500 gp

Formatting:

Straightforward, appropriate visuals.

Does this add something to the game?

Bypass immunities/resistances.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

Eh. Yes resistances are annoying, but then we get into the endless cycle of immune, but not immune unless you have this immunity which can be bypassed…. Further it’s a meta item. I have to ‘know’ that a creature is particularly resistant vs only slightly resistant vs immune to fire vs normal/weak against fire to benefit from the item—which means the GM is using it to try and kill me since I have no guaranteed in-character way of determining this short of trial and error.

As a GM?

No; amongst other things it reduces immunity to fire below having resistance to fire. For example if I deal 1d6 points of fire damage to a creature with resistance 30 I fail to hurt him even with 2 charges. If I spend 2 charges against an immune creature I still do 1d6/2 damage to him. In addition to this I have the same problems with immune-but-not-immune as I would as a player.

It's also toxic to use abilities which grandstand the players; oh you thought to prepare resist energy, and help your team by buffing them. Well too bad, I'm going to completely undermine your agency/autonomy/decision by bypassing the spell. Nyah.

Point at which I would stop up-voting this (based on this year’s experiences): Pre-Cull.

Dedicated Voter Season 9

Quote:

Rotblade of the Undying

Aura moderate necromancy [evil]; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 73,502 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
This strengthened viridium +3 dagger is unnaturally sharp, cold to the touch, and a glassy deep green so dark it is almost black. They are always found near an inactive zombie or plague zombie that appears to be nothing more than an inanimate corpse. Whoever holds the dagger in their bare hands gains control over that undead as if she had cast animate dead on it, a fact that the wielder senses upon gripping the bare viridium hilt.
The dagger functions as any strengthened viridium weapon, including the chance to cause leprosy or greenblood oil poisoning. Whenever a creature dies from either effect or from a final blow dealt by the dagger, it will rise as a zombie within 2d4 hours of death as if affected by animate dead. Any zombies created by the blade are under the control of the blade’s wielder as if she had cast animate dead. 1 in 10 zombies created will be plague zombies. If the wielder can already cast animate dead, the dagger allows her to control up to 18 HD of undead beyond the HD allowed through ordinary use of animate dead. Otherwise the dagger allows the wielder to control up to 18 HD of undead.
If the wielder dies and the blade remains within 30 feet, the wielder will rise in 48 hours as a mindless zombie and wait, dormant, for the dagger’s next owner to discover the blade and her first zombie.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, animate dead, contagion, desecrate, creator cannot control more than double her HD of undead during creation, creator must be able to animate at least 18 HD of undead; Cost 37,502 gp

Formatting:

It seems to me that since the dagger has three means of killing creatures there should be three types of zombies. Plauge--leprosy, skeleton--greenblood oil, normal--dagger.

Viridium is definitely a good material choice for a ‘rotblade.’ The description largely parrots the description of viridium. If you’ve already called out a material with that description, feel free to elaborate on the blade’s other special effects. Also the rotblade moniker is almost wholly predicated on the viridium effect - it would be nice if there were a magical reinforcement to the effect.

At the point you can get this zombies are not very effective in combat.

Does this add something to the game?

Zombie Apocalypse here we come.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

This would be a neat necromancer item, although many necromancer class-archetypes already have built in control mechanisms making your item redundant.

As a GM?

I’m against vast hordes in general as they just muck up the works, slowing everything down.

Point at which I would stop up-voting this (based on this year’s experiences): Second Cull

Dedicated Voter Season 9

Quote:

Gloves of Refraction

Aura faint illusion; CL 5th
Slot hand; Price 4,000 gp; Weight 1 lbs.
Description
These silver gloves have three small prisms inset on the back of each hand. When activated the wearer’s hands and held items split into four differently colored images.
Three times per day the wearer may activate the gloves as a swift action creating three images of their hands, and the items currently held in them, that last for one minute. This effect only extends to items meant to be wielded such as wands, rods, shields, and weapons or items small enough to be held in one hand. This grants a 75% miss chance for any combat maneuver or spell targeting the gloves or held item.
In addition, the chaotic nature of the illusory forms grants two additional benefits against creatures who can see the effect, a +4 circumstance bonus on bluff checks made to feint and the difficulty to identify spells cast by the wearer that require somatic components increases by 4.
A creature using senses not based on sight or under the effects of true seeing is immune to these effects.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, mirror image; Cost 2,000 gp

Formatting:

I liked the prismatic effect but am left wondering what color the images are and what importance the colors have. As written the prisms are a nice fluff for the item’s counting mechanism, but are not utilized to their fullest potential in the mechanical description.

“When activated the wearer’s hand…splilt into four differently colored images…activate the gloves as a swift action creating three images of their hands…” oops, looks like we missed something in a revision. You don’t need two different sentences describing the splitting effect anyways.

I might have parroted some language from the mirror image spell to describe how spells and combat maneuvers interact with the images. As written I think blur would have been a better inspiration for the mechanics.

Can the gloves be activated if I’m holding something with two hands? What do they do in this case?

I like the bonus to feint, more confused about the spellcraft identification; assuming all the images do the same thing I would assume seeing duplicate spell-casting motions would give me more insight into what is being cast instead of less.

Does this add something to the game?

It’s a dueling item which fits a broader scope than the dueling rules niche, well done. Unfortunately having 4 right hands in a duel when you previously only had one would be seen as unsportsmanlike, so it falls a bit short for the niche itself.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

This is an excellent item for swashbucklers or rogues.

As a GM?

It’s interesting; there are not a lot of spells or combat maneuvers used to target weapons so the active ability is pretty niche. The bonus to feint and identify spells as they’re cast are a bit more widely applicable; more appropriate for a blur based item, but I can easily fix that for a home game. Overall I like it, it’s thematic and inspiring for certain NPCs.

Point at which I would stop up-voting (based on this year’s experiences): After the third cull.

Dedicated Voter Season 9

Quote:

Dwarven Apprentice's Apron 


Aura Strong, abjuration; CL 15th 

Slot Armor slot; Price 88900gp; Weight 25 lbs. 

Description

A Dwarven Apprentice's Apron set consists of a leather apron and a set of gloves. The leather is soft with faint outline of scales. The Apron is a typical full length apron and the gloves cover up to the elbows. When within 5 feet of a heat source the leather will glow a soft red hue lasting for 30 minutes after exposure to heat.
An Apprentice Smith is Awarded his apron upon his or her acceptance as an Apprentice to a Dwarven Master Smith. An Apprentice's Apron provides a +10 Resistance to Fire. All Dwarven Smith Aprons functions as a +5 suit of Dwarven Plate Armor during Combat.
There are 3 Known Varieties of Dwarven Smith's Aprons: Apprentice(+10 Fire Resistance), Expert(+20 Fire Resistance) and Master(+30 Fire Resistance). The Hide for the Set comes from a creature such as a Red Dragon or a Fire Drake. The most common hide used is Fire Drake although hides from creatures to be known to live in lava flows and from the Plane of Fire have been known to exist. 

Construction. 

Requirements Craft Magic Arms/Armor, Potion of Resist Energy;Fire, Spell Resist Energy;Fire or Scroll Resist Energy;Fire, Hide value 1000 Cost 44450gp

Formatting:

Minor template issues (comma’s, slot, requirements organization).

‘Typical’ is a word to avoid unless you’ve previously delineated its meaning for the reader (and even then avoid it as it’s boring). I remember back when I was working fast food people would always order a ‘regular’ sized food item – fries as an example (actual sizes: value, small, medium, or large). They would be very insistent that they wanted a ‘regular’ size even when prompted many times to clarify what they want (I always gave them the list of sizes to choose from) and get angry that I didn’t know immediately what they wanted. ‘Regular’ means any one of the sizes; value, small, medium, or large. It varies by the person, it varies by their day. That’s from a set list of 4 options. You describe something as ‘regular’ which does not even have a set list size. You could be referencing literally anything.

Conversely the red glow around heat is good imagery; if you had tied this more explicitly into the scales we would have a mental image of some Dwarven smith, bedecked in ancient red dragon scales learning to craft items of unknowable power.
The fire resistance reinforces this image very nicely, but is not creatively; playing more into the response to fire might have been interesting, with the apron glowing more strongly around greater heat sources (for greater benefit).

Doubling as +5 dwarven plate armor is a misstep; for one ‘typical’ aprons are not useful in combat since they don’t protect the extremities, for another there’s no subtle tie-in to your underlying theme. This makes the effect seem disjointed, just another Swiss Army Knife effect.

Having three separate levels to the apron does little for the item itself and makes it just another ring of fire resistance (minor, major, greater).

Having worked in a shared lab I also find the idea of separate equipment levels ludicrous. You would not want to grab an apron off a rack and then go over to the wrong work station.

Does this add something to the game?

No.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

No.

As a GM?

No.

Point at which I would stop up-voting (based on this year’s experiences): First Cull

Dedicated Voter Season 9

Quote:

Plush Guardian of Cuddles

Aura moderate enchantment and conjuration; CL 11th
Slot - ; Price 37,500 gp; Weight 0.5 lbs.
Description
This adorable plush stuffed bear seems to be nothing more than a harmless child's toy. However, the plush guardian of cuddles was created as a means for the wealthy and noble to protect their children from danger. The bear contains 3 charges that replenish at the beginning of each day.
As long as the plush guardian of cuddles has one charge remaining, it radiates a 20 ft. aura that quells a creatures aggressive or violent emotions, as calm emotions, unless they succeed at a DC 13 Will save. The aura can be suppressed or activated as a standard action.
By spending one charge the bearer can compel a target within 30 ft. to pick up the bear. The target must succeed on a DC 14 Will save or be compelled to pick up the stuffed bear and do nothing but cuddle it. This effect lasts for 1 minute or until the target is attacked.
Finally, by spending a charge, the stuffed bear can grow to large size and animate in order to defend the bearer from danger. The stuffed bear is treated in all ways as a normal dire bear while animated. The bear will not attack young creatures and has an attitude of friendly towards any such creatures. The summoned bear lasts for 1 minute before vanishing.
The stuffed bear can also be recharged by being held and cuddled. If cuddled for an hour or more, it regenerates charges at a rate of 1 per hour.
Any and all abilities of the plush guardian of cuddles can be activated or deactivated with a master command word.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, animate objects, calm emotions, suggestion; Cost 18,750 gp

Formatting:

I keep picturing that broken mechanical teddy-bear from Titansgrave when reading this. I like the calming effect, not only useful as a defense mechanism but also for keeping your children happy. It also plays into the teddy bear theme well.

The cuddle effect is cute, but leaves the target in possession of your ~38k gp defense bear.

Aand Tibbers. Given that your stuffed bear grows into the large sized one, it’s disconcerting to have it vanish after use. I was not expecting a ~38k gp consumable, that’s not a child-friendly effect.

I love both the cuddling recharge mechanism and the parental controls function.

Does this add something to the game?

Yes, it’s a nice theme item for (absurdly) rich children. The idea is neat, it provides a gateway into magical mundane items which wizards and other magicians would create to aid their daily lives and ease their fears; providing a deep insight into their character and mentality.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

Absolutely, but with some minor revisions.

As a GM?

Yes.

Point at which I would stop up-voting (based on this year’s experiences): Into the fifth cull; superstar idea, not a superstar execution.

Dedicated Voter Season 9

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Done! I think that's everything except the security blanket (I had nothing to say which added to Wolin's self critique).

If I missed your item/an item feel free to post here and let me know; if I missed anything else it was an error on my part and not something intentional.

Star Voter Season 7

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Trekkie90909 wrote:
Quote:


Rapier of Shining Influence

omited

Formatting:

First paragraph is well written and tells me you know rapiers, but tells me nothing of your item’s special magical abilities. IMO the buff should be a morale bonus to play into the influence/dazzling display/charisma theme. I like your counter, but like the rest of your description it feels like gilding; try to integrate the description into your mechanics.

The ‘during combat’ tag does not really add to the description; on the other hand something about having to use the ability before the attack roll is made...

Thanks for taking the time to critique my item. I greatly appreciate the feedback, especially the point of the bonus being a morale bonus, d'oh.

Dedicated Voter Season 9

Brief explanation of the up-vote comment, for those interested:

If I felt an item would go out for certain in a given round, I listed it as such. If I felt the item should go out in a given round but felt there was enough substance that it might make it to the next (or if I saw something of similar quality in the next round I said x or x+1). If I personally felt x, but thought the voters might vary I said around meaning +/- 1, and if I felt something could go out early but had the mojo to keep fighting for at least one more round I said 'after x.'

So, mostly to satisfy my own curiosity I've tallied my 'voting record' numbers:

18 precull (items listed as pre to first cull are included in this category).

39 commented as surviving to at least first cull, of which 10 were listed as having the mojo to possibly survive further culls.

15 additional reviews commented as being in the first to second cull category

15 items commented as worthy to survive the second cull, of which 7 were listed as having greater potential.

18 additional reviews commented as either "2 or 3," or "around 2."

10 commented as surviving the third cull, with 7 of these having the mojo to press on.

6 additional were mostly in the 'around' category with a couple in the 3-4 category.

3 commented as being in the 4+ category

1 commented as being firmly in the 5 category.

1 commented as 'unknown;' I felt this could go out anywhere up to and including the third cull.

End result is a left-skewed bell curve centered around the first and second culls. That seems about right to me without doing statistical analysis.

The cull and cull+ categories converge as we approach the fifth cull; I'm not sure what to make of that. My personal experience was that the submission quality jumped noticeably at culls 1, 3, and 5. They were not terribly different otherwise mostly changing due to small technical details. Post cull-5 I was voting almost entirely on top 32 entries, which might explain a lack of comments in this area, or it might reflect a weakness in my grading metric (there are a number of large disagreements between my commented placement of items, and where the 'last seen' and top 100 lists place them, leading me to suspect the grading metric is at least partially at fault).

Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Response to Critique of Canvas of the Dreamer:
Trekkie90909 wrote:
Quote:


Canvas of the Dreamer

Formatting:

Another Naruto item. Well written, but ultimately just a monster in a can. At 10k+ this is a very expensive consumable.

Does this add something to the game?
No.
Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

No. Anything a summon is used for is something I could have been playing through.

As a GM?

Mimic my player thoughts, besides I have avenues to gain things like this for my villains without blowing their budget.

Point at which I would stop up-voting this: After the First Cull.

First up, thank you very much for the critique and apparently trying to do everyone. Last year I managed to do it once, and I still plan to try to get to everyone again this year , so I know how huge of an undertaking it is.

In your initial post for this thread you comment that you know you'll be mean, and I think you should be. It's important, and someone needs to cut to the bone of the matter, etc. I also expect people to defend themselves a little when called upon to do so.

RE: Another Naruto item -- I am not familiar with that anime, though I'm guessing you mean Yakumo Kurama which has a power described like this: She often uses paintings as a conduit to cast these illusions, causing those around her to believe what is on the painting as reality, despite it only being an illusion. I can see where it's "might" be like that, but it wasn't my actual source. And mine aren't "illusions." But I also fully admit it is FAR FROM AN ORIGINAL IDEA -- but then again, what is these days?

Does this add something to the game? No. -- I just disagree, as I don't think this fairly common trope of "Art Initiates Life" (see link above) is "done" in the Pathfinder Roleplaying Game yet or at least not well. I'm not sure I did it well either, but still a niche unfilled. It's not for everyone, so I can see your perspective I'm guessing.

RE: Summon -- I say to treat it as a summoned creature, but that's for how it's affected by abilities and effects. It's really a called creature, but its also NOT really that either or I didn't mean for it to be per se. Lasting for an hour instead of just rounds (like most summoned monsters), and the fact that I didn't have any kind of "rule against it" you could actually have a bunch of these all fighting, adventuring, working, digging, building, etc if you could pay for them. The thing is too, it's not useful for just the hack and slash -- if a 1 hour servant with multiple human-like arms and hands would be useful etc. you could have drawn that and used them as a utility. Even as a "trap finder" of the most basic type, etc. Though again, expensive...

RE: Price -- I am going to copy/paste my response to Jeff Harris' Good-Bad-Ugly critique RE: pricing.
I started this as being just a double priced scroll of summon monster VI, cost of 1,650 gp. But then realized to do everything I was hoping, it really needed to use planar calling rules which adds 1,250 gp material component + either 100 gp per minute per HD of for planar ally or 500 gp per hour per HD. With base 8 HD and everything else, it would cost a cleric like 4,000 gp per hour or so, so as a minimum caster level scroll it becomes like 44,000 gp for 11 hrs of service, etc. So thats why the cost got kinda crazy.
Since a) "anyone" (with enough art skill or able to afford an artist to make it) could use this, and b) since you could have say a dozen of these as art works around the house (assuming you could afford it) AND then activate all of them at the same time (no rule against it again), then a single villain making a few "wise investments" could trash a painting or two and then leave two decent HD monsters that can stay and fight, chase the heroes, delay them, etc. all while the villain runs away. And they could be custom made for some purpose or type of enemy, assuming you can buy many. Compared then to say using an elemental gem for a generic Large elemental costing 2,250 gp and last for only a few rounds. The canvas-monsters too, wouldn't necessarily "die" when the villain did... though that "could" be read into "treat them as summoned creatures".

That whole bit was done though for shorthanding it, I would have liked to use an extra 50 words there to do some more explicit rules.

Thank you again!

Silver Crusade Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Trekkie90909 wrote:
Quote:

Jar of Captured Nightmares

Aura minor enchantment and evocation, moderate illusion; CL 10th
Slot none; Price 4,900 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
When uncovered the jar’s contents reduce light as a darkness spell. Those who look into the jar see writhing shapes, that at one moment seems to be a tentacle trying to burst its glass prison, a coiled taxidermy snake that blinks, or dozens skittering legs that obscure what is certain to be a hideous central body.
The jar can be thrown as a splash weapon, on a hit the target must succeed a Will Save DC 15 with a -5 penalty or immediately fall asleep for 1 minute as deep slumber and is subject to the nightmare spell. The target takes damage from the nightmare once per round, and upon waking is fatigued.
As long as the target sleeps the creature emanates a 60 ft. radius of deeper darkness. Anyone inside the area of deeper darkness also experiences the nightmare phantasms of the target of the jar, with no penalty to the Will Save to avoid the damage, this is a mind-effecting, illusion effect with the fear descriptor.
If the attack roll misses, the jar breaks and releases deeper darkness for one round centered upon the square it hits before dispersing. If the target succeeds the initial Will Save then the jar breaks and releases the deeper darkness effect for one round centered on the target, before dispersing.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, deeper darkness, deep slumber, nightmare; Cost 2,450 gp

Formatting:

What if I can’t see in the darkness? Do I still see things in the jar? Does seeing these weird creatures have an effect on me?

Given that splash weapons target touch AC the -5 penalty on the save seems punishing. Further there is no description for what happens to those caught in the spash, only a direct hit. 6d10 damage is a huge buff over nightmare’s normal 1d10 in addition to the sleep effect and the fatigue penalty afterwards.

A 60’ radius waking nightmare effect is rather strong and likely penalizing...

Thank you for your critique, and normally I don't respond to critiques as I prefer to let my work speak for me but I'd like to address some of your critiques:

"What if I can't see in darkness?" That's kind of a silly question. You would see only darkness. That's the point, the item is always surrounded by darkness, like a lamp that radiates a sphere of darkness. If you can't see in darkness you can't see this thing. So it's meant for anyone with access to darkvision.

The strange shifting things inside the jar are just special effects, they are the essence of the worst kind of captured nightmare, which is to say the indescribable nightmare, they possess that shifting dreamlike quality.

Splash weapons do target touch AC, but the radius of the darkness would envelop you unless you take penalties for throwing beyond the first six range increments (60 ft.) nightmare has a series of rules which give the target penalties for familiarity and possessing something of the target's. In this case the nightmare is touching the target, and thus the penalty. Otherwise it's a DC 15 Will save, trivial for the item's price.

If you miss the target it only unleashes darkness with no nightmares. The idea being that the nightmares in the area of darkness are being broadcast by the dreamer. Awakening someone is a standard action which can end the effect prematurely, assuming you can find them in the darkness. Bwahahaha.

6d10 damage over 10 rounds is much greater than nightmare's normal damage, but it's actually 1d10 per round and in actual combat probably won't be more than 1-3d10.

It's interesting to see how interpretation differs from design intent, your feedback has been valuable.

Marathon Voter Season 9

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Just being told that my self-critique was sufficient is good feedback as well. Glad you posted that, because I had been wondering about that :P
I'm interested to see where you would have stopped voting though (I stopped voting for myself at cull 5 and just skipped when I came up)

I was going to post something a little earlier about being a little harsh with your gradings about when you'd stop voting for something. Almost everything that's in the CMI thread I feel should have survived at least to the second cull. There were a lot of things before then that were terrible.
That said, I really liked having that bit in the critique, and it's a good grading system. I think more reviews should have something similar.

Dedicated Voter Season 9

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Security Blanket Checklist:

Does it make my eyes bleed (Format)? Somewhat. Picturing Linus in the game left a sour taste in my mouth, and that might have knocked it out by itself. Further while I like the environmental nature of the item, it lacked a lot of the flavor text which 'cuddles' had meaning that it failed to evoke the same inspirative spark. Due to this the item might have gone out as early as the first cull.

Mechanically the item was pretty well written out; I had concerns for portions such as "breaking the sanctuary effect destroys the security blanket," but thought that it was well enough written to get through the second cull without issue if it made the first.

I kept trying to picture a scenario where someone would have a security blanket on them for sanctuary and protection from fear, drawing a blank except on munchkins afraid to bite off more than they could chew. Having a good theme/strong scenario link seemed to mean an item was third cull worthy, I would figure 50/50 it would make it through the third cull.

Fourth cull: To make the fourth cull mechanics must be well integrated into the theme, which the blanket's are not; yes sanctuary/remove fear fit the item, but they're not well integrated. I would not have expected the item to move past this point.

Does this add something to the game?

Yes; as mentioned in format it has a similar trope to 'cuddles.' Unfortunately it lacks the same link to its intended audience; a diplomatic security theme would have pushed the item higher imo.

Player? No; it fits neither the power gamer mentality (cost prohibitive for a 'just in case' item), nor my character design aesthetics (by and large my characters are asexual adults). The item perhaps has use if guarding a younger target, but in this case I'd be more likely to keep the target close and/or try to hide them.

GM? I want to say yes, but I had a really hard time with this one.

In all: 1+

Dedicated Voter Season 9

Quote:

Master’s Final Warning

Aura Faint Conjuration and Enchantment; CL 5th
Slot none; Price 10,301 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
This +1 merciful sai has a small sphere of voidglass in its hilt. Once per day as a standard action, the wielder of master’s final warning can make a disarm attempt without provoking an attack of opportunity. If this disarm attempt is successful, the disarmed creature must make a DC 13 Will save or be under the effects of calm emotions. This effect lasts 5 rounds, or long enough for the wielder to make a Diplomacy check to increase the disarmed creature’s attitude.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, calm emotions, cure light wounds; Cost 5,301 gp

Formatting:

The disarm ability is thematic; disarm and/or sunder would have been slightly better since the sai gives an inherent bonus to both those checks. What is important about the voidglass (which is not in the PRD btw)?

Between the name and the calm emotions effect this must be a plot item from something you run or have run in the past; I’d caution against these items since as a general practice the diplomacy check and desire to passify non-violently those one is in combat with/hired to hunt down is niche at best.

Further this item has low-synergy with sai wielders who might be specializing in disarm and/or sunder (since the special ability is constrained to a standard action).

Does this add something to the game?

It’s largely a spell in a can; that said there is not much support for reforming people after engaging in combat with them. Given that calm emotions negates feelings/attitudes, and diplomacy checks increase feelings/attitudes there needs to be more mechanical text allowing the diplomacy check result to bypass the calm emotions effect.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?
No. I do know people who enjoy playing pacifists; they would want the item’s special ability to be more than a once per day.

As a GM?

Highly situational plot item, not interested.

Point at which I would stop up-voting (based on this year’s experiences): First cull.

Dedicated Voter Season 9

Quote:

Tome of Legends

Aura strong divination; CL 15th
Slot none; Price 100,000 gp; Weight 4 lbs.
Description
This well constructed tome is usable only by bards. When opened without activating, the pages appear blank. If activated with a command word, followed by the name of a legendary person, place or thing (at least 11th level, as per the requirements of the Legend Lore spell), the book will reveal up to two pages of information derived from the collective wisdom of people familiar with the named item. The information will remain on the pages until the book is closed.
Because of the source of the information, there is a 15 percent chance that part of the information will be erroneous -- either rumor or plain false. If the character makes a DC 25 Knowledge check they can determine the incorrect information.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Items, Legend Lore, Caster must use a blank spell book of exceptional quality (500gp); Cost 50,000 gp

Formatting:

As a note; you have a niche price (17-20th levels) with a niche audience (only bards); this is not something for publication, it’s so specific it screams ‘made for one character.’

‘…of people familiar with the named item.’ Should read person, place, or thing; which is what you followed the activation with.

Your drawback (DC 25 knowledge check negates) is not a drawback for the level of bard who would have access to this book.

Does this add something to the game?

Spell in a Can designed to overcome the drawbacks of the spell (casting time/familiarity).

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

No.

As a GM?

No.

Point at which I would stop up-voting (based on this year’s experiences): Pre to First Cull.

Dedicated Voter Season 9

Quote:

Portable Protective Pedestal

Aura faint abjuration and evocation CL 3rd
Slot none; Price 9,000 gp; Weight 1/2 lb.
Description
When activated, this pocket-sized stone cube grows into a pedestal whose top is at a comfortable working height for the user. A non-living object placed on top of it and weighing less than 50 lbs will be protected from all natural environmental hazards. Rain will not damage the item, wind will not blow it away or even rustle delicate pages, and stray sparks will not set the object on fire. The pedestal provides no appreciable cover. This protection is overcome by magic such as fireball and whirlwind, but not by magically-conjured natural effects such as lightning produced via call lightning. Extreme natural environments such as total submersion or contact with the heart of a volcano may also overcome the pedestal’s protective qualities. The pedestal remains conveniently close at hand, floating beside the user at the user’s normal movement rate. If the user wishes, the top of the pedestal projects light onto the object appropriate to the user’s requirements for optimum viewing. By pressing down on one edge of the pedestal as it expands, it becomes a slanted easel rather than a flat-topped pedestal.
The pedestal may be used three times per day for one hour at a time. Any object placed upon a Portable Protective Pedestal is considered to be an attended object. If the activated pedestal is stolen or otherwise forced to be more than 10 feet from the user, it de-activates and returns to its cube form. Activating the pedestal is a standard action. The pedestal takes one full round to achieve full height. Larger pedestals, with additional magic are rumored to exist.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, floating disk, light, resist energy; Cost 4,500 gp

Format:

Mostly good; it’s worth mentioning that since the items are treated as ‘attended’ they’re basically immune to magic such as fireball and whirlwind (unless the user rolls a nat 1 on their save).

Given that Call lightning is an evocation spell the same as whirlwind, and both are themed off natural effects it’s really hard to tell what spells the pedestal is intended to defend against. Similarly there is likely to be table variation about ‘extreme natural elements.’

Does this add something to the game?

At first glance this seems to be a protective item for objects lost to time; perhaps in abandoned temples or other suitable adventuring locations. Then we get to the bit where the pedestal only lasts for an hour and deactivates when more than 10 feet from the user, so that’s not it.

It also looks like a magical insurance item for an artist’s workshop, but between the high price and the hour duration that can’t be right.

So I guess it’s mostly a portable scroll carrying device.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

No, I have bags and scroll cases.

As a GM?

No, I have unseen servant and full control over the environment.

Point at which I would stop up-voting (based on this year’s experiences: Around the first Cull

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 9 aka Thrawn007

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I just wanted to pop in and give my approval to this thread. The breakdowns of each and every item are excellent, and I love the format you've used to rate things. Your criteria pretty much hit exactly on how I look at items, so although I don't agree with you every time, about 85-90% of your analysis mirrors mine. You hit the three big questions I think are the center of everything. Does this add something? Is it good as a player? Is it good as a GM? Anything that hits on all three of those areas gets a thumbs up from me.

I also like the cull rating to tie things up. Nice new way to give an idea of how far someone has to go on an item.

Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 9

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Trekkie90909 wrote:


Formatting:

‘…is as unwieldy and heavy as though…’ Metal, and lead (which is also metal) are both inherently solid materials so saying the item goes through ‘most’ solid materials would be more appropriate. Magical and living material are often, but not always solid. Other minor spelling and grammar mistakes.

Does this add something to the game?
Potentially a way around many tricky puzzles or encounters, depending on dungeon layout.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

I like having random useful things, so this appeals to my inner packrat jack-of-all-trades.

As a GM?

Ugh. Well it could be worse, but I spent a lot of time developing the evil trap of PC doom… Which is ‘entirely’ fair despite the name guys, I promise. Kek kek kek.

Point at which I would stop up-voting this (based on this year’s experiences): Around the second or third cull.

Thanks for the feedback! The bit about magical or living materials turned out to be a major overthink on my part - I should absolutely have just left it with earth and stone.

Dedicated Voter Season 9

Quote:


Fluxbane Khopesh
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 28,320 gp; Weight 8 lbs.
Description
Finely engraved hieroglyphs depicting a wide variety of creatures decorate the blade of this +2 khopesh. It functions as a bane weapon, except that whenever its wielder confirms a critical hit with the weapon, a corresponding hieroglyph on its blade briefly glows blue and its hilt smoothly transforms into a shape representing the type of creature struck, such as a bone to represent an undead creature. Furthermore, the weapon's designated foe immediately changes to match the type of creature struck (and subtype for humanoids or outsiders).
The increased enhancement bonus and extra damage dice resulting from a fluxbane khopesh's newly designated foe apply to the critical hit that triggered its transformation. The weapon's appearance and designated foe persist until the wielder confirms another critical hit with the weapon, at which point it changes once again as described above.
There is no limit to the number of times a fluxbane khopesh's appearance and designated foe can change in this manner.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, polymorph, summon monster I; Cost 14,320 gp

Formatting:

Could use more descriptive text for the blade itself; the runes are a good start, but give me something to sink my teeth into. There should probably be a provision for the sword to not change favored enemy types if the wielder doesn’t want it to.

Does this add something to the game?

No, in effect it’s granting to the inquisitor’s bane ability to anyone proficient with Khopesh’s.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

It’s definitely useful, and of an appropriate price; I might buy it.

As a GM?

It feels munchkin-y, so I don’t like it; that said it looks balanced, so I’d ok it.

Point at which I would stop up-voting (based on this year’s experiences): First or Second Cull.

Dedicated Voter Season 9

Quote:

Baritsu Cane

Aura moderate enchantment; CL 7th
Slot none; Price 20,345 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
This +1 answering inspired sword cane is made of a smooth darkwood, with a simple but elegant metal handle. When the wielder uses the opportune parry and riposte deed and successfully strikes her opponent, she can use throw her opponent off balance. By succeeding at a dirty trick maneuver, she can inflict the confusion condition on her opponent for 1 round.
Construction
Requirements Craft Arms and Armor, Dirty Trick, confusion, lesser, good hope, creator must have the opportune parry and riposte deed; Cost 10,173 gp

Formatting:

To benefit from an answering inspired sword I have to be a multi-class Swashbuckler and Investigator; that’s a pigeon hole.

Further, the item’s special ability is only useful to those specializing in Dirty Trick combat maneuvers.

While I get that you’re talking about the cane itself with the darkwood description; the phrasing implies that the actual sword part of the cane is made from wood.

While it's implied that the wielder can use the dirty trick combat maneuver as part of their riposte, it is not explicitly stated. Since the maneuver is a standard action, and not one of the handful (disarm, sunder, and trip) of maneuvers which normally benefit from the weapon's enhancement bonus this means that from a strict RAW perspective the item does nothing.

Does this add something to the game?

Yes in spirit, no in execution; it is intended to allow me to inflict confusion with the Dirty Trick Combat Maneuver.

Would I want this in my games?
As a player?

I can’t say I’ve ever thought about playing an investigative swashbuckler that uses dirty trick. Given that I’m still burning a standard action to pull this off, and confusion has a reasonable chance of not affecting its target in a single round (it’s balanced around being a permanent defect) my overall impression is this item is useless.

As a GM?

Same.

Point at which I would stop up-voting (based on this year’s experiences): First Cull


Thank you for the critique Trekkie, sorry I did not notice you had gotten to my item earlier. You and others point out that Fortification maybe a bit outside the theme, and I agree. Also, great point about the origami swarms, maybe I should have played them up harder with additional options and left out the scroll bit (a point of interest, depending on the culture, vellum was only one option, rice paper, papyrus, etc, all could happen, but I get the slight theme slip going scroll as we know them in PF)

If you like the idea of paper armor, check out the history channel special where they actually re-make Chinese paper scale armor from an ancient manual, and holy crap, it works!

151 to 188 of 188 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | next > last >>
Community / Forums / Archive / Paizo / RPG Superstar™ / General Discussion / CMI response Thread All Messageboards

Want to post a reply? Sign in.
Recent threads in General Discussion