CMI response Thread

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Glimmersheen Chain
Aura moderate illusion; CL 6th
Slot armor; Price 18,250; Weight 25 lbs.
Description
The metal used to construct this +2 chain shirt is formulated to bond and interact with silversheen, which can be applied to it even though it is not a weapon. Coating the armor in silversheen requires two free hands and five minutes. The armor must not be worn during the application process.
One vial of silversheen adds five charges to the armor. All of the charges must be expended before applying another vial to the shirt. As long as the armor has one charge on it, it has the mirrored property and its armor bonus increases by 1 against melee attacks from lycanthropes or creatures with DR -/silver. The charges last indefinitely until spent.
As a swift action, the wearer gestures with an empty hand, causing one charge of the silversheen to come off of the armor and dance in the air between him and a single adjacent target. The target becomes distracted and loses his Dexterity bonus to AC and to CMD for one round. A successful DC 16 Will save reduces the distraction's effect, imposing a -2 penalty to Dexterity instead. Lycanthropes and targets with DR -/silver incur a -2 penalty to their saving throw. Sightless creatures are immune to this effect.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, hypnotic pattern; Cost 9,250

Formatting:

Sightless/mindless would be immune. Writing is heavily mechanical in nature; let me use my imagination some. I don’t think you intended the mirrored property to only be available while the armor has precisely one charge left; make sure you’re proof reading. The interaction with were creatures dr/silver creatures is appropriate although not inspiring.

Swift action to feint is usually very cost intensive.

I'm not sure what the silversheen interaction adds to the armor which could not have simply been written into the armor as a base property.

Does this add something to the game?

A plot item for anti werewolf campaigns, not much outside of that.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

Why not?

As a GM?

I’m not thrilled by it, but it’s not bad.

Point at which I would stop up-voting this: Around the second cull.

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Armbands of the Mummers’ Duel
Aura faint illusion and transmutation; CL 1st
Slot wrists; Price 1,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
Sewn together from many small pieces of cloth in billowing, feathery layers, the armbands of the mummers’ duel are favored by acting troupes, which often must play great battles without the skill to portray them in a safe and yet convincing manner. With the armbands’ aid, the wearer can deliver crowd-pleasing blows to the head with an earth breaker and leave fellow actors merely dazed instead of dead.
Armbands of the mummers’ duel come in pairs, and once per day may be activated as a swift action by touching them to one another, an act traditionally worked into a dance or pose. For the next minute (or until the effect is dismissed as a free action) the wearer’s blows do nonlethal damage. This nonlethal damage never becomes lethal; all nonlethal damage by the wielder while the armbands of the mummers’ duel is activated that would exceed a target’s maximum hit points is ignored. While the armbands’ magics blunt any actual harm, illusions play into the wearer’s swings and scatter ephemeral blood, adding a +5 competence bonus to any skill checks made to convince watchers that the blows are deadly.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, magic weapon, silent image; Cost 500 gp

Formatting:

If you don’t have the skill to portray great battles in a safe and convincing manner you’re probably not a good enough acting troupe to afford this item :P.

That said I liked it, it has a nice flavor and I could see rich young fops running around with a version of this item playing out dramatic scenes in the streets. It would also be a good training tool for special forces/combat types, so I like that it has uses outside of what you envisioned.

There are a few mechanical things I’d have liked to see tweaked – dismissing the non-lethal effect being a shared conviction amongst both participants chief amongst them.

Honestly non-lethal damage can be needlessly resource intensive; attuning these bands to a specific weapon might help broaden their appeal for adventurers by providing an attractive low cost option.

Does this add something to the game?

Yes! This is an intriguing item with lots of possible uses outside the normal slash-hack-kill-loot-the-bodies shtick.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

Yes.

As a GM?

Yes.

Point at which I would stop up-voting this: I stopped seeing it around the second cull; I think I would have upvoted it through the third and fourth. In the fifth round it would have depended on the match-up.

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Murder Candle
Aura moderate abjuration; CL 5th
Slot nonet; Price 2,500 gp; Weight 1/2 lb.
Description
A Murder Candle looks like any ordinary candle. During the dipping process, as each layer of wax is added, runes are carefully carved into the wax. Only the last ten layers are rune free to disguise the candle's purpose.
When the Murder Candle is lit the countdown begins. Once the Murder Candle burns down to a height designated by the creator, it will trigger explosive runes.
Additionally, if the person who lit the Murder Candle blows it out, explosive runes is triggered. If anyone other than the individual who lit the Murder Candle blows it out, the spell is not triggered.
During creation, the crafter will place the strand of hair at a set point in the candle. This strand of hair is the point at which the spell will be triggered.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, [i]explosive runes[/], (special) strand of hair; Cost 1,000 gp

Formatting:

Minor typos/pricing irregularity. I would think the creator would want to be able to disarm the candle, or assassinate the person he gave it to so reversing your ‘blowing the candle out’ text would help thematically.

As written the hair feels out of place; some text about how this binds the runes to the will of the caster might add some dramatic flair.

Does this add something to the game?

Bombs aren’t typically available except to certain players, so it opens up some options.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?
It’s not enough I can’t read anything without being paranoid, now the candle’s trying to kill me too? Can’t a man just read at his bedside in peace? On a more serious note: this seems more like a GM item than something I could benefit from unless it’s an evil campaign.

As a GM?

It would provide or work into some plot. Not thrilled with it, but it works.

Point at which I would stop up-voting this: Around the second cull.

[WackoYackoDot]

Trekkie90909 wrote:

Quote:

Blackthorn Cudgel

Formatting:

This is how you write a weapon special ability! Very concise wording, beautiful imagery all tied around a tight theme.

Does this add something to the game?

No, this is a wounding cudgel (small re-work) with flavor text. The small rework is neat, but does not show your creativity as a designer.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

Yes, and have had similar items.

As a GM?

It already exists (to a certain extent)! I have no problem with it, and love the imagery.

Point at which I would stop up-voting this item (based on this year’s experiences): Around the third cull; I voted on this item a lot actually, I think that it was my second most voted on...

Thank you for your kind words! I've gotten a few other reviews and agreed with the specific points they made. Your comments, however, really helped me understand the strengths and weaknesses of the item as a whole. I'm pleased to hear that you felt the entry was solid. I agree completely that it lacked creativity. This is RPG Superstar, after all. I'm going to add more Superstar-ish elements next year and see how much further I can get.

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Rapier of Shining Influence
Aura transmutation; CL 11th
Slot none; Price 38,220 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
A finely crafted +1 agile rapier, this weapon is expertly balanced, and looks to be of Taldorian design. The blade incorporates diamond dust that not only accounts for its superior point, but also causes it a shimmer and sparkle in the presence of any light source. Braided gold-plated steel is woven around three gleaming emeralds into a one-quarter cage basket hilt to protect the wielder’s hand. The basket hilt can be used like a gauntlet to deliver an armored punch attack. Using the rapier in this way does not confer any of its magical bonuses to the attack.
Three times per day, during combat, the wielder can attempt to use the power of the blade to influence allies. On command, as a free action, the wielder can cause the blade to flare brightly and crackle with arcane energy prior to the wielder’s next attack. If the attack hits, the dashing display of sword fighting grants all allies within 60 feet the wielder’s Charisma bonus (minimum of +1) as a bonus to hit for their next attack. If the wielder’s attack fails, no bonus is granted, and a daily use of the blade is expended. For each use of the special power of the Rapier of Shining Influence one of the emeralds in the basket hilt dims. The emerald regains its full luster the following day.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, cat’s grace, mass eagle’s splendor; Cost 19,270 gp

Formatting:

First paragraph is well written and tells me you know rapiers, but tells me nothing of your item’s special magical abilities. IMO the buff should be a morale bonus to play into the influence/dazzling display/charisma theme. I like your counter, but like the rest of your description it feels like gilding; try to integrate the description into your mechanics.

The ‘during combat’ tag does not really add to the description; on the other hand something about having to use the ability before the attack roll is made would have been helpful. I like the ally inspiration mechanic

38k gp is a lot for a +1 weapon.

Does this add something to the game?

Very similar to the designating weapon line of enchantments for ranged weapons.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

It adds a nice flair for swashbuckler types, sure.

As a GM?

Why not? It doesn’t do anything super interesting, but it’s solidly helpful

Point at which I would stop up-voting: The second or third cull

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Cloak of Subterfuge
Aura faint abjuration; CL 9th
Slot Shoulders; Price 8,000 gp; Weight 3 lbs.
Description
While the exterior of this grey leather cloak is unremarkable, the interior is made of fine black velvet resembling a starless night sky. As a move action the wearer can press an item against the cloak's inner lining, transporting the item to an extra dimensional space (contents limit 20 pounds, volume limit 3 cubic feet) within the cloak.The cloak does not need to be worn for this effect to occur, placing the cloak over an object and applying pressure can also activate this ability. The wearer gains a +5 competence bonus to bluff checks regarding items stored within the cloak. As a swift action the wearer can retrieve items from the cloak by placing her hand, or equivalent, against the inner lining and thinking about the item they wish to retrieve. The item returns from the extra-dimensional space into the wearer's hand. If the cloak's capacity is exceeded or it gains the broken condition (Hardness 2, Hit Points 5), each item stored within the cloak falls into a random square 5 feet from the wearer; roll for each item separately. Using Detect Magic or an ability to view magical auras, this item gives off a faint abjuration aura. Using spellcraft identifies the Cloak of Subterfuge as a Cloak of Resistance. The caster must cast Identify and succeed a DC 13 Will save in order to reveal the item's true nature.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Magic Aura, Secret Chest, 5 ranks in bluff; Cost 4,000 gp

Formatting:

Makes me think of a magician, not subterfuge. On a related note sleight of hand would make more sense than bluff for the check bonus.

It looks similar to the Warlock's Tattoo Chamber from the Ultimate Intrigue playtest but is less playful.

Does this add something to the game?

Not really.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

I’ll stick to handy haversack.

As a GM?

I wouldn’t veto it.

Point at which I would stop up-voting: Pre to first cull.

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Belt of the Depths

Aura Moderate Transmutation; CL 7th
Slot Belt; Price 12,000 gp; Weight 1 lbs.
Description
This masterfully crafted belt emits a strong salty scent and is made of woven algae interlaced with golden merfolk hair. In guise of a buckle rests a large starfish-shaped piece of red coral.
While underwater, the wearer may break off one of the starfish's five limbs as a free action to activate the belt's powers for a period of two hours. At any time, the wearer may break off a second limb to end the effects prematurely. When the belt's powers are activated, the wearer is immediately granted the ability to breathe water as per the Water Breathing spell. One round later, he instantly starts sinking at a speed of 50 ft per round until he lands on a solid surface, such as a sunken ship wreck or the sea floor itself. Once on a solid surface, he is able to move about freely as if he were on land and carrying a light load. He, however, loses the ability to swim. If the wearer has to move over obstacles, he must use climb checks or acrobatics checks, although he ignores his armor check penalty. If he falls any distance, he lands harmlessly without injury. Finally, he may use any weapon without restrictions, ignoring the normal underwater combat penalties.
Like a true starfish, the Belt of the Depths has the ability to regenerate lost limbs, and does so at a rate of one limb per week. However, this regeneration is only possible as long as the starfish has at least one limb left. If all limbs are broken off , the belt loses all powers.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Items, Water Breathing, Freedom of Movement; Cost 6,000 gp

Formatting:

Generally well written, although there could be more descriptive text for the abilities; the water breathing effect for example could cause the wearer to grow gills. The diver-belt thing works, but isn’t thematic of something crafted of merfolk hair since we normally associate them with swimming.

Can users fly underwater while under the effects of the belt? I would guess yes, but it’s not clear.

If they can then this becomes a very powerful item allowing for skill and spell consolidation; basically negating aquatic terrain. Does the starfish effect break if the user takes the belt off? Is this something I can share and pass amongst my friends (is it a team item, and thus effectively lower cost since everyone will pitch in a little?)? It would further negate the need for ending the effect early; I mean what’s the downside of keeping it up at that point, which means that much of the item text becomes extraneous/wasted effort.

Does this add something to the game?

If it allows underwater flight.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

Sure.

As a GM?

It doesn’t seem overly game breaking, I would need some clarifications before making a hard ruling.

Point at which I would stop up-voting: Second Cull

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Talisman of Essence Conversion

Aura Moderate Necromancy; CL 5th
Slot Neck; Price 4,340 (minor), 16,380 (medium), 38,500 (major); Weight-.
Description
This pendant consists of a single hand-sized, spherical, dim crystal affixed to a drop necklace coated in a dark lacquered hue.
When placed over the heart of a dying creature, the talisman begins to extract the victim’s essence. When worn, it allows the wearer to convert the essence into a usable resource.
The target must have some resource remaining for that day. While its essence is being sapped, the victim cannot stabilize. When the target dies from bleeding, up to one (minor), two (standard) or three (major) points of resource per day flow into the amulet which then boldly glows a distinct color based on the resource stolen: blue (arcane); black (grit); gold (panache); red (ki); purple (inspiration) or green (luck). Those nearby need only make a successful Perception check (DC 15) to notice that the orb is filled. The wearer may rob essence from multiple targets each day, but the item can never siphon more than the maximum amount. Once absorbed, the essence must be expended before any more can be filched.
If the thief can use the resource, he or she may access it at any time. Commuting the trapped essence requires focusing as a standard action. During this time, the jewel changes color to the new resource before being expended. All of the essence inside must be transformed at once but may be converted again later if at least one point remains. Once transmuted, at least one point must be utilized by the end of the wearer’s next turn or all of the essence drains from the charm and is thereby wasted.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Bleed, Ki Leech; Cost 2,170 (minor), 8,190 (medium), 19,250 (major)

Formatting

‘dark lacquered hue’ how do you lacquer (varnish/coat) a hue? Dark hue: what color? Crystals don’t emit light, so saying something like ‘cloudy,’ or ‘smoky’ is more descriptive than ‘dim.’ Unless it does emit light, in which case a lot more information would be neat. Another more active way of phrasing ‘dim crystal,’ would be ‘smoky crystal, whose obscured depths seem to drink in the light around it leaving the wearer in a perpetual shadow.’ This of course would then need some mechanical text about how the necklace affects light, and what use this magic is to the wearer.

Instead we have a sudden jump to death; we can segue into this better if we describe the crystal differently ‘this normally dim crystal gradually flairs to life as its wearer nears death.’ And then go into how we can affix it to dying creatures to pull out their life essence. You state that there are different levels of resource you can gather from a creature, but don’t mention how to get a specific level.

What happens if you affix the necklace to a dying creature without a resource type on your list? How often per day can this draining be performed?

Your last paragraph is fractured; we get that a user who can use the resource can use it, and then suddenly we’re mid description for commuting one resource into another; it looks like we’re missing the important half of that description.

Death Knell would have been a more thematic spell choice for your item. The bleeding out mechanic is similarly… gruesome and poorly suited for play.

Does this add something to the game?

No.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

No.

As a GM?

No.

Point at which I would stop up-voting: Pre to First Cull.

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Candle of Otherworldly Fire

Aura strong divination; CL 15th
Slot none; Price 72,000 gp; Weight 1/2 lbs.
Description
This simple black candle shines with the otherworldly glow of the aurora borealis. Within its eerie, shimmering light all that is hidden is revealed.
The candle provides constant light as per the spell faerie fire in a 30 foot emanation. All magical darkness effects of 7th level or lower that come within the candle’s light range are temporarily suppressed. The candle’s flame emits no heat and as such the candle never burns out or is consumed, though it can be extinguished or relit as a standard action.
Any creature, including one not in the light itself, viewing the area illuminated by the candle sees the area and all creatures and objects within as if the viewer was under the effects of arcane sight and detect secret doors. In addition, the viewer may make a will save against any illusion effect that can be disbelieved within the candle’s light range as if he had carefully studied or interacted with the illusion.
Some who bear a candle of otherworldly fire do not truly understand the implications of such powers until it is far too late: The candle’s light also acts as a beacon for strange extraplanar creatures who are attracted to it like moths to a flame.
Every time the candle is lit and for every hour it burns, there is a 5% chance of 1d4+1 hounds of tindalos appearing and attacking the wielder of the candle and all within its light. Even stranger and more powerful creatures may be drawn to the fire if it persists for long periods of time or is relit too often.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, arcane sight, detect secret doors, faerie fire; Cost 36,000 gp

Formatting:

Looks to be in order.

Does this add something to the game?
No.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

So you’re trying to get true sight in a can with some magical identificantion stuff added in without using true sight? I could use this, but it’s boring.

As a GM?

I see what you did there, no.

Point at which I would stop up-voting: First cull.

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Lodestone Plate

Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot armor; Price 17,750 gp; Weight 75 lbs.
Description
This suit of +1 stoneplate is brownish-black with a metallic sheen. The wearer can imbue the armor with a strong magnetic field as a swift action. This field allows the wearer, as a free action, to attempt to disarm any opponent attacking with a melee weapon made primarily of adamantine, cold iron, iron, or steel (and other metals at the GM's discretion.) Resolve the disarm attempt after the attack roll, using the wearer's CMB. The disarmed weapon remains affixed to the armor while the field is active, dropping to the ground in an adjacent square when it is deactivated.
Alternately, the field can be activated to repel rather than attract. Attacks from weapons made of the aforementioned metals suffer a 20% miss chance, including natural attacks from creatures primarily made of such metals, like iron golems. The magnetic field can be used up to 10 rounds each day. These rounds need not be consecutive. Switching from one field to the other is a swift action.
Finally, the wearer can expend the remaining rounds of the armor's daily allotment to generate a powerful magnetic pulse. This is a standard action that does not draw attacks of opportunity. Any creature carrying, made of, or wearing at least 10 pounds of appropriate metal within 15 feet is the target of a bull rush. The CMB for this combat maneuver is +11, with an additional +2 for every round of use expended beyond the first (maximum +29). A bullrushed creature that would be pushed into a square occupied by a solid object or obstacle is instead knocked prone in the square before it.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, telekinesis; Cost 9,850 gp

Formatting

I like the magnetic idea; would have stuck to ferrous metals, but that’s the physics background talking. Loadstone is an oxide of iron, so I would have gone with reddish-black (cold?)iron full plate as my image of choice.

D: You have a repulsor that deflects attacks and goes with miss chance rather than a deflection bonus to AC. Alternatively you could have made this into a deflect arrows type thing; attract for melee, repulse for range.

I’d use the wearer’s CMB as the base, perhaps with a drawback to potentially knockback the user (Newton’s third law).

All of that said your description is fairly mechanical; some magical or electrical imagery, or something special about the armor to describe why its magnetism is enhanced/can flip polarities would have been nice.

Does this add something to the game?

It’s nifty, I like the disarm mechanic. The defensive bonus is boring.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

It might be fun; the last effect would be pretty devastating to your allies so I’m leery of that. Also, once it's out of charges (at most 10 rounds!) it's only worth a little about 3 k gp so I'd probably buy a different item.

As a GM?

I could have some fun with this, and I think the party would to as long as there wasn’t *too* much lava in the room with them. I'd prefer if the 'expend remaining charges' option had a different effect for the attraction and repulsion modes respectively.

Point at which I would stop up-voting: Around the second or third cull.

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Courtesan's Locket
Aura moderate enchantment and divination; CL 9th
Slot neck; Price 10,000 gp; Weight .2 lbs.
Description
Originally designed by a famously jilted countess, the courtesan's locket has since been replicated by a variety of individuals and groups ranging from hostile diplomats to bored noble pranksters.
This gold filigree pendant has a teardrop shaped emerald at the center. The emerald twists open to reveal a reservoir of poison sufficient for 1 use per day. The poison loses potency after 24 hours outside the pendant.
When the poison is ingested, the target must make a DC 18 Will save or have their surface thoughts broadcast to the wearer of the amulet for 24 hours, up to a distance of 10 miles.
At any time while reading the poisoned target's thoughts, the wearer may speak one of the following command words to overwhelm the target with the associated emotion:
Lust - The target is compelled to rush to the person or object they most recently thought about and passionately kiss or caress that subject for 1d4 rounds.
Hatred – The target is compelled to verbally assault the person or object they most recently thought about for 1d4 rounds.
Guilt – The target is compelled to immediately confess to 1d4 wrongdoings. If they are aware of the presence of any people they have wronged, they must confess to those acts.
Using any of these options allows the target a DC 18 Will save to negate the effects. After the compulsive acts have been completed, or if the target saves, the mind reading effect ends.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Heighten Spell; Detect Thoughts, Unnatural Lust, Compel Hostility, Confess; Cost 5,000 gp

Formatting

Not terribly descriptive with the text. Reads a lot like a poison pill ring, although it’s less thematic because it just generates poison instead of aiding delivery.

It doesn’t seem like something a courtesan would necessarily want unless they had a penchant for blackmail.

Does this add something to the game?

Well, it’s a good way to make a distraction and the mind reading effect might be useful for certain campaigns.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

No; would be unlikely to get one, probably a little too black market to easily vendor. So it would mostly be used against me; not a fan of any of those effects.

As a GM?

Is biased by Locket of Love’s Lure, which he finds more thematic; that said I could find use for this.

Point at which I would stop up-voting: First or second cull.

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Quicksilver Elixir

Aura moderate abjuration, conjuration, divination, and transmutation; CL 10th;
Slot none; Price 2,000gp; Weight —
Description
This rare elixir is made to look like a simple but delicate glass vial filled with mercury. The vial and its contents do not show as magical while contained, but this is a simple deception to disguise it as a caster's spell component or alchemical material. The elixir can be used to create one of three obvious magical effects. However, once a particular effect is chosen the elixir is used up:
• Scry: If poured out into a cup, bowl, or a similar container (even a shallow depression on a flat surface can be used if needed) then the elixir can be used as a scrying device exactly like a standard crystal ball, but it can only be used once and the viewing only lasts 10 minutes before the elixir evaporates into harmless silvery mist.
• Sheen: If poured onto a single non-magical metal weapon or armor of any kind, for one hour this item is considered mithral. This includes the object's effective weight, hardness, skill check penalties, and any spell casting miss-chances it may have. Any other material type the object may have is suppressed for this duration.
• Bomb: If the elixir is tossed like a bomb, the vial will easily shatter and the contents will explode into silvery mist doing 2d4 Constitution damage to any creature in a 10 foot radius who has damage reduction that can be bypassed by silver. This effect has a Fortitude save DC 17 that can half the damage if successful and only has a duration of 1 round before it dissipates.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, cloudkill, mirror polish, non-detection, scrying;
Cost 1000 gp

Formatting

Scry is interesting
Sheen is very similar to silversheen, so I’m not sure why I’d spring 2k gp for it.
Bomb doesn’t seem very magical, basically it’s a silver-bomb, which sounds alchemical.

An item which is a list of barely connected abilities lacks theme. Also, the ultimate round is a competition of writing ability; if I don't see strong writing at this point I'm likely to weed you out.

Does this add something to the game?

Another anti werewolf item (a lot of these this year; why?), portable scry.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

I would be unlikely to get it.

As a GM?

Eh; it might be an ok thing for an NPC to have and use as part of setting/prop or as a reward.

Point at which I would stop up-voting: first cull.

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Noose of Derangement Devouring

Aura Strong Enchantment; CL 9th
Slot Neck; Price 187,200 gp; Weight 1/4 lb.
Description
A cord woven of disturbingly sinew-like fibers, the noose is 18 inches long and embroidered with tiny sigils and runes in red, amber and gray. When draped about the neck and touched while whispering the command word, the noose coils around the wearer’s throat and its magic manifests.
I Hear Voices: The wearer can detect thoughts at will (DC 15), at double normal spell range (120’). The thoughts of those affected by insanity, afflicted by madness, that have prepared mind-affecting spells or that have mind-affecting spell-like abilities are detected as a swift action rather than a standard action.
Eat Insanity: Upon a successful touch attack, the wearer can “eat” the insanity of any creature affected by insanity or suffering from a madness-type affliction and render them sane (as heal). A similarly successful touch attack against a spellcaster or monster can eat one prepared mind-affecting spell (normal touch attack bonuses, no save for spells at or below 4th level; spells above 4th level gain a Will save to negate) or spell-like ability from the caster. The targeted caster is also staggered for 1d4 rounds (DC 16 Fortitude save negates).
The wearer converts whatever she eats into spell power and, for each instance in which the wearer has eaten, she can cast either (a) the same spell or ability that was eaten, or (b) possession (DC 19). All effects disappear if the noose is deactivated, and any unused spell power is lost. Spell power may be held indefinitely so long as the noose remains active.
Construction Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, dream feast, detect thoughts, possession; Cost 93,600 gp

Formatting:

This would make a great basis for a monster, although I’m not thrilled with the ‘consume and cast spells’ bit. It’s a bit niche for an item.

The necklace doesn't devour so much as swallow and regurgitate. The noose imagery could have been made into something symbolic; instead it's just more gore.

Does this add something to the game?

Yes; thought detection isn’t terribly well supported by existing items. Insanity is all but untouched by the game. There’s room to expand and contribute here, and it would have been nice if the item itself did something more than a limited spell redirection.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

Wouldn’t like it to be used against me, wouldn’t get it personally. No.

As a GM?

Maybe as a monster.

Point at which I would stop up-voting: First Cull

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Hungry Ghost Incense

Aura faint abjuration and conjuration; CL 3rd
Slot none; Price 150 gp; Weight —.
Description
This light grey stick of incense smells faintly like rotting flesh. When lit, it burns away rapidly, creating smoke that fills a 10-foot cube (treat the effect as a fog cloud spell, except that a moderate or stronger wind dissipates the smoke in 1 round, and it does not obscure vision or provide any form of concealment). The stick is consumed after 1 round, and the smoke dissipates naturally after 1 minute.
The smoke prevents incorporeal undead from making physical contact with living creatures within the smoke. As a result, the natural weapon attacks of incorporeal undead to fail when targeted against living creatures within the smoke.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, protection from evil, fog cloud; Cost 75 gp

Formatting:

Everything seems in order.

Does this add something to the game?

I recall ghost salt doing the same thing if placed in a circle or used to line doors/entryways; a quick search of the pfsrd does not support this – corroboration from the community one way or another?

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

I’m going to assume that I’m just not remembering the correct name, and that there’s an item which already does this. I do like the effect.

As a GM?

Ditto.

Point at which I would stop up-voting: Pre to First cull.

[Adjurer]

If anyone has time, let me know what you think, please. Thanks!

-
-

Spoiler:

Windstrike Impaler
Aura moderate evocation; CL 7th
Slot none; Price 33,610 gp; Weight 12 lbs.
Description
This +1 ranseur has a dark oak haft with ornately carved channels running toward a wicked twisting spike. Two serrated blades stem from the cross hilt and corkscrew around the spike.

Three times per day, as a standard action, you can use the weapon to move yourself to another location on the battlefield within 40 feet, taking whatever path you deem necessary. This movement provokes attacks of opportunity as normal, though you may evade these by moving yourself around or even flying over other units, obstacles, and terrain as long as you stay within the 40-foot range.

At the end of this movement, if you threaten an opponent, you may use an immediate action to make an attack. The same surge of wind that facilitates your movement also grants you a +2 circumstance bonus on the attack roll. If this attack hits, you may use a free action to make a bull rush maneuver against the target with a +2 circumstance bonus. This maneuver does not provoke an attack of opportunity.

If you are on a mount, the movement from this ability instead functions for your mount, but you must be the one who makes the attack.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, gentle breeze, telekinetic charge, Cost 17,960 gp

[Ghormagon]

Trekkie90909 wrote:

Greenwarden Gauntlet

Thanks for the critique, T9. Wow, looking at it in a different light, maybe this wasn't as stellar an entry as I thought it would be? :) lol

When you say, "adding something new to the game" are you referring to it's uniqueness, or to thinking outside of the box?

[Trekkie90909]

Ghormagon wrote:

Trekkie90909 wrote:

Greenwarden Gauntlet

Thanks for the critique, T9. Wow, looking at it in a different light, maybe this wasn't as stellar an entry as I thought it would be? :) lol

When you say, "adding something new to the game" are you referring to it's uniqueness, or to thinking outside of the box?

I mean something, it can be uniqueness, it can be addressing some issue, it can be granting a benefit which is otherwise not typically available, adding flavor to an otherwise boring ability, or it can be something which opens up new design/play spaces.

I tend to go into more detail for the 'outside the box' entries since they're better indicators of design talent; bonus points for hitting multiple categories.

[Zombieneighbours]

Trekkie90909 wrote:

Quote:

Hungry Ghost Incense

Aura faint abjuration and conjuration; CL 3rd
Slot none; Price 150 gp; Weight —.
Description
This light grey stick of incense smells faintly like rotting flesh. When lit, it burns away rapidly, creating smoke that fills a 10-foot cube (treat the effect as a fog cloud spell, except that a moderate or stronger wind dissipates the smoke in 1 round, and it does not obscure vision or provide any form of concealment). The stick is consumed after 1 round, and the smoke dissipates naturally after 1 minute.
The smoke prevents incorporeal undead from making physical contact with living creatures within the smoke. As a result, the natural weapon attacks of incorporeal undead to fail when targeted against living creatures within the smoke.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, protection from evil, fog cloud; Cost 75 gp

Formatting:

Everything seems in order.

Does this add something to the game?

I recall ghost salt doing the same thing if placed in a circle or used to line doors/entryways; a quick search of the pfsrd does not support this – corroboration from the community one way or another?

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

I’m going to assume that I’m just not remembering the correct name, and that there’s an item which already does this. I do like the effect.

As a GM?

Ditto.

Point at which I would stop up-voting: Pre to First cull.

Having gone throught through PFSRD's magic items, with a search terms of "incorporial undead", and "undead", I am relatively certain that no such item exists.

[Joana]

Zombieneighbours wrote:

Trekkie90909 wrote:

Quote:

Hungry Ghost Incense

Aura faint abjuration and conjuration; CL 3rd
Slot none; Price 150 gp; Weight —.
Description
This light grey stick of incense smells faintly like rotting flesh. When lit, it burns away rapidly, creating smoke that fills a 10-foot cube (treat the effect as a fog cloud spell, except that a moderate or stronger wind dissipates the smoke in 1 round, and it does not obscure vision or provide any form of concealment). The stick is consumed after 1 round, and the smoke dissipates naturally after 1 minute.
The smoke prevents incorporeal undead from making physical contact with living creatures within the smoke. As a result, the natural weapon attacks of incorporeal undead to fail when targeted against living creatures within the smoke.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, protection from evil, fog cloud; Cost 75 gp

Formatting:

Everything seems in order.

Does this add something to the game?

I recall ghost salt doing the same thing if placed in a circle or used to line doors/entryways; a quick search of the pfsrd does not support this – corroboration from the community one way or another?

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

I’m going to assume that I’m just not remembering the correct name, and that there’s an item which already does this. I do like the effect.

As a GM?

Ditto.

Point at which I would stop up-voting: Pre to First cull.

Having gone throught through PFSRD's magic items, with a search terms of "incorporial undead", and "undead", I am relatively certain that no such item exists.

Maybe you're remembering ethersnare dust from a previous Top 32?

[Zombieneighbours]

Oh, I was unaware of that item. That is pretty cool, but not the same thing ;)

[Trekkie90909]

It wouldn't have been a top 32 item since it was in a friend's game years ago... Maybe 3.5 or homebrew element? Unsure.

Having now checked PRD, PFSRD, Nethys, and given the grognards a chance to chime in I'll re-evaluate:

Does this add something to the game?

Yes; incorporeal undead can be very difficult to deal with, particularly at early levels. They have a tendency to show up as the bound minions of evil necromancers, and being able to repel them while fighting the BBEG would be helpful. In the more general case it provides some respite to pass out heals before foraying back into the thick of things.

As a Player?

Yes: This might keep me from dying, or allow me to accomplish a really important plot objective.

As a GM?

Outright prevention is a bit harsh; I'm critical of anything which provides immunities or which disallows saves as they reduce player interaction with the environment. Since this is essentially a 'stop and rest' mid fight item I'd probably increase the price so groups will be less tempted to spam it.

Point at which I would stop up-voting: Around the second to third cull.

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Snowfall

Aura moderate evocation and abjuration; CL 11th; Weight 4 lbs.; Price 26,315 gp
Description
The pommel of this +1 frost longsword contains a miniature snowscape inside a crystal globe, tiny snowflakes whirling endlessly around an indistinct dark shape. The razor-edged blade glows with a pale blue radiance and sheds tendrils of translucent mist as it moves.
When used to successfully strike a creature, as a swift action the wielder can expend a memorized spell or spell per day slot to have that creature sheathed in a layer of frost, causing them to become entangled for a number of rounds equal to the level of spell used to activate this ability. A creature immune to cold damage is immune to this effect.
The wielder has Fire Resistance 5 whilst holding the sword, as the weapon hungrily drinks in the warmth around it, the hilt always ice-cold to the touch. Creatures native to the Plane of Fire, with the Fire Creature template or vulnerability to cold have a particular dislike of this weapon, and where possible will always choose to target the wielder with their attacks over any other opponent.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Rime Spell, resist energy, ice storm; Cost 13,315 gp

Formatting:

Missing slot from the template. Otherwise well written; other minor template issues.

Reminds me a lot of Icingdeath… A no save entangle is quite strong, there are also relatively few casting classes which are proficient with the longsword, so that narrows the appeal dramatically.

I find it awkward that my fireballs can become a layer of frost on something.

Does this add something to the game?

Not very familiar with magus-type weapons; to my knowledge there are none currently in the game, so that’s new-ish.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

Personally would not have reason to get it; I suspect those who could would not want to invest in changing AoE cc abilities into single target abilities, although they might use it if the option were presented from loot.

As a GM?

I don’t think this really adds to an encounter from my side of the screen.

Point at which I would stop up-voting: First or second cull.

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Junglestrider Raiment

Aura moderate transmutation and faint abjuration and conjuration; CL 7th
Slot armor; Price 13,590 gp; Weight 12.5 lbs.
Description
Favored by those to hunt in tropical lands, where many large dangers stalk the jungle and savanna. This light airy +1 bitter darkleaf cloth hide is have been assembled from different kinds of linen, small hides and darkleaf cloth strips giving this armor a tattered and feral look. This effectively granting the wearer the same bonuses as a hot weather outfit, providing a +2 bonus on fortitude saves to resist warm or hot weather.
While not in an urban area the wearer of this armor gain the ability to ignore any sort undergrowth and natural difficult terrain, allowing you to make 5-ft. steps within this terrain.
On command as a standard action the armor while sprout leafs and twigs and cover your body to take a shape of humanoid-plant-animal hybrid creature, resembling lycanthrope hybrid form. The shape you take is depending on the hide that is used in the armor. You can use the ability for 5 minutes per day. These rounds do not need to be consecutive.
While in hybrid form you gain the scent, low-light vision, and a +2 natural armor bonus on top of the armor bonus. And retain the ability to cast spells and use items.
Ape hide: you gain a 30 ft. climb speed.
Pteranodon hide: you gain a 30 ft. fly speed (average maneuverability).
Lizard hide: you gain a 30 ft. swim speed.
The armor has an arcane spell failure chance of 10%, a maximum Dexterity bonus of +6, and no armor check penalty. It is considered light armor.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, beast shape I, feather step, resistance; Cost 6,795 gp

Formatting:

Your first paragraph is not about a magical item; many people have been innovating on the base item, and while that’s not bad, it’s not the basis of the competition so unless there’s some important underlying reason for it to be different, all it contributes is eating your word-count. And if you really want to make a warm weather outfit item, that does take a slot (body), so why not just make a slotted wondrous item?

You can dampen the SAK vibe if you try to tie the effects into each other seamlessly; a description of how the armor blends into and subtly alters the landscape for the feather step effect (don’t repeat rules language, it detracts from the writing and wastes words), and then on to the active

The lycanthrope form feels very disjointed; I assume the patchwork nature of the item’s construction is supposed to set this up; you could have spent more of your first paragraph preparing the reader for this ability instead of focusing on the mundane bonus.

‘…you can use this item for 5 minutes per day. These rounds do not have to be spent consecutively…’ That escalated quickly, make sure you check that all your durations are in sync before submitting.

The hybrid form reminds me a bit of the pelt of the beast from Blood of the Moon.

I would omit the last line and simply use the darkleaf hide stats (which are very similar).

Item is vastly underpriced; scent, low-light vision should really depend on form. Look to beast-shape for some good language to parrot.

Does this add something to the game?

An armor which grants a natural armor bonus. Minor fluff differences from other items.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

It’s useful, I wouldn’t mind having one.

As a GM?

It’s underpriced, but not terribly offensive. Several errors which would have to be addressed, the minutes and rounds mix up chief amongst them. Maybe with a stronger internal theme to the abilities.

Point at which I would stop up-voting: First cull.

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Windstrike Impaler

Aura moderate evocation; CL 7th
Slot none; Price 33,610 gp; Weight 12 lbs.
Description
This +1 ranseur has a dark oak haft with ornately carved channels running toward a wicked twisting spike. Two serrated blades stem from the cross hilt and corkscrew around the spike.
Three times per day, as a standard action, you can use the weapon to move yourself to another location on the battlefield within 40 feet, taking whatever path you deem necessary. This movement provokes attacks of opportunity as normal, though you may evade these by moving yourself around or even flying over other units, obstacles, and terrain as long as you stay within the 40-foot range.
At the end of this movement, if you threaten an opponent, you may use an immediate action to make an attack. The same surge of wind that facilitates your movement also grants you a +2 circumstance bonus on the attack roll. If this attack hits, you may use a free action to make a bull rush maneuver against the target with a +2 circumstance bonus. This maneuver does not provoke an attack of opportunity.
If you are on a mount, the movement from this ability instead functions for your mount, but you must be the one who makes the attack.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, gentle breeze, telekinetic charge, Cost 17,960 gp

--oops, it looks like you posted this to my thread instead of the Critique My Items Please! thread. Unsure how may readers I have compared to that one, but if you want general commentary I recommend reposting there; I’m pretty sure it has more traffic--

Formatting:

Personally an effect like this screams ‘crazy gnomish invention,’ as some sort of weird gyrocopter spin-off of the ripsaw glaive; maybe I’ve just read too much Dragon Lance.

There’s some awkward phrasing, for example moving around and over units could use descriptive text or be omitted. There are some weird things about this item; for example if I’m mounted and under a haste effect it might actually slow my movement for the round. There are some other fringe cases even if I’m just walking around where the item is disadvantageous. I would have let the user charge in fun zig-zaggy zany lines as the gyrocoper pulls them around the battlefield, and granted a small enhancement bonus to movespeed for the round.

You call this the windstrike impaler, but there’s not much wind involved, marginal striking, and it does not impale.

There are a lot of 'ands' to this item; I get to move around, and this movement doesn't have to follow conventional guidelines, and I get to make attacks, and if they hit I get to bull rush enemies, and I get bonuses, and it doesn't provoke. I'm left wondering if you could have streamlined that into a simpler more engaging mechanic.

Does this add something to the game?

It’s a neat idea.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

I wouldn’t buy it; at the point I could get one I’d have better options.

As a GM?

It doesn’t really add anything I couldn’t get elsewhere. Also investing heavily in singular melee types tends to lead to boring combats.

Point at which I would stop up-voting: First cull.

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Kilt of the Warriors Ancestors

Aura moderate necromancy; CL 12th
Slot belt; Weight 1 lb.; Price 36,000 gp
This twill woven garment resembles a pleated skirt, but is knee high and with buckles and plates for extra protection and embelishment. The kilt is woven with the blessings of spirits of great warriors ancestors. Thanks to that, as long as the user impress the warriors ancestors, he receives greater power in battle, but they also are easly bored. When the user hit an melee attack in an opponent in combat, he gains +1 bonus on attack and damage on all his attacks in the next round. This bonus increases by +1 for each round that the user made a successfull attack against an opponent (up to a maximum of +4 attack and +4 damage).
Adittionaly, instead of accepting the atack and damage increases, he may combine a move action or a charge with a full attack in his next round. He can make any number of attacks after, before or during this movement.
If the user stays at least one round without making an attack or receiving one in combat, he bores the Warriors Ancestors, his bonuses are reset to 0 and he becomes staggered on the next round. After this, if the user pass another round without attacking or receiving one in combat, the kilt ceases to function for the rest of the encounter or for one minute, whichever lasts longer.
Construction Requirements
Craft Wondrous Item, Deadly Juggernaut; Cost 18,000 gp

Formatting:

You don’t need to describe a kilt unless you want to provide real specificity like the tartan used and style of pleating (traditional vs military). An armored kilt just has some metal strips hanging down your front (usually behind or as part of the sporran) to protect the family jewels, there’s no need for extra buckles. Kilts, like skirts hang from the waist down, so they would be knee length, not knee high (like socks). You should call this an armored kilt, and give it a minimum +1 enhancement bonus so that it can be enchanted with magical properties. Instead you call it a belt, which is just all kinds of wrong.

You say the kilt is imbued with blessings – some sort of static protection to my mind, but then say the ancestors are actually a part of the kilt, as subjects the wearer must impress. This is disjointed, and makes me wonder if the item is plot specific to a certain individual or family; that would certainly be appropriate for a kilt, but is less useful in game. An easier way to resolve this would be for the blessings to respond to some sort of moral code, but that would be difficult to write into a 300 word item without making it a pally supplement.

Actual effect is basically furyborn, but with a slightly lower cap. Why is a weapon enchantment on your armor? Worse, why is a weapon enchantment on your belt instead of the weapon on your belt?
Clunky phrasing; beware phrases like ‘any number of attacks,’ with no limit.

Does this add something to the game?

It makes high level mobility archetypes such as the Dervish Dancer Bard’s Dance of Fury less unique, providing access to the same ability to anyone at a similar level.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

No; I could get a static +3 to hit and damage from a big six item for the same price; the move and attack ability would be nice, but I could get it if I wanted to make that sort of character.

As a GM?

No.

Point at which I would stop up-voting: Pre-cull.

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Soul-Wrenching Spear

Aura moderate conjuration and necromancy [evil]; CL 11th
Slot none; Price 20,182 gp; Weight 6 lbs.
Description
This +2 ghost touch spear is made of pitch black wood, and glows with a pale, ghastly light. When a living humanoid is slain by a critical hit from the spear a portion of its soul is ripped free and trapped within the weapon. Only one soul fragment may be held in this way at a time. If the victim is restored to life while the soul fragment is still held in the spear it suffers one permanent negative level, in addition to any additional penalties from being raised. This permanent negative level may not be restored while the spear holds the victim’s soul fragment, but is instantly restored once it is released.
Once per day, as a standard action, a spear containing a soul fragment may be activated by driving it into the ground. Activating the weapon summons a poltergeist (see Bestiary 2) for one minute. Poltergeists summoned by the spear are considered to be site bound to the spear’s location, and do not rejuvenate if destroyed. The poltergeist attacks any living creatures except the activator. Once activated, the spear must be left in its current position to continue functioning. Removing or destroying the spear immediately ends the effect and releases the soul fragment. Once one minute has passed, or if either the poltergeist or spear are destroyed, the effect ends and the soul fragment is released.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, create undead, plane shift; Cost 10091 gp

Formatting:

Things seem to be technically correct.

Does this add something to the game?

Monster in a can; poltergeists aren’t terribly common.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

Why do I want to rip souls out of people? Or res them? So when the GM ‘theoretically’ uses this on me; is there anyway for me to get my soul back short of summoning a poltergeist? Also, is it stealing my inner murderhobo to create said poltergeist? I need my inner murderhobo, it’s important for, um, character development reasons.

Why do I want to summon poltergeists?

As a GM?

This seems like a plot item which decentivizes resurrecting your comrades in favor of picking up random blood-soaked chainsaw wielding guys (who giggle uncontrollably at odd intervals) on the side of the road

Point at which I would stop up-voting: First cull.

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Armor of Burden

Aura faint necromancy; CL 5th
Slot armor; Price 6750 gp; Weight 45 lbs.
Description
This +1 Splint Mail is embossed with an image of a squire carrying the equipment of his knight. Once per day, the wearer of the armor may command it to impose its burden upon a creature within 120 feet. That creature must make a DC 14 Fortitude saving throw, or suffer the -6 armor check penalty, 40% arcane spell failure chance, and any non-proficiency penalty as if they were wearing a suit of Splint Mail for 1d4 rounds. While another creature is so affected, the Armor of Burdens imposes no armor check penalty or arcane spell failure chance upon its wearer.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Bestow Curse, Spectral Hand; Cost 3375 gp

Format:

Solid. Using the ability is boring; it’d be more interesting if there were more player interaction involved than ‘activate as a standard action.’ This is especially true as there’s little descriptive imagery to draw the reader into the item.

Does this add something to the game?

Definitely; this is a strong item at the level you can get it, and while it drops off in effectiveness (as things get huge fort save bonuses) the penalties remain potent all the way to 20. Better, there’s nothing like this in the game.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

I favor static bonuses over variable to a significant extent; the dice REALLY hate me. That said, in terms of the ‘active which screws enemies over’ items I saw this year, this was hands down the best. I’d be tempted to get it, so I’m sure others would. Maybe if this were some kind of reactive penalty I could hit others with when they tumble past me, or cast spells in my direction.

As a GM?

It’s neat; I could see putting it on law enforcement officials. Heck, I could see this inspiring a lot of city-guard related itemizations. That said, it mostly favors the side with greater action economy since burning a standard action for a highly situational short duration penalty which may or may not work anyways will require some turn milling.

Point at which I would stop up-voting: Around the third cull.

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Skinkfinger Gloves

Aura faint conjuration and divination; CL 5th
Slot hands; Price 9,500 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
These short gloves have a fastening strap around the wrist, and appear to be made of colorful, striped lizard skin.
When an individual with the bloodline class feature wears these gloves, they can expend one use of any of their bloodline abilities that have uses per day and designate that charge to one of their fingers, storing it within; after doing so, they can detach that finger as a standard action. Detaching a finger deals 1d8 points of maximum hit point penalty, plus an additional amount of penalty equal to the class level at which the used ability is attained. This penalty cannot be removed until the detached finger is destroyed. A detached finger cannot be reattached.
As a standard action, the bearer of a detached finger can break the finger to activate the stored charge. This destroys the finger, leaving behind a pile of tiny scales, and activates the bloodline ability as if the breaker of the finger had activated the power, using all statistics of the creator of the finger. A detached finger is also destroyed if its charge is not expended within 24 hours, or if it is taken more than 100 feet away from its creator. Upon the destruction of a finger, its original owner gains fast healing 1 for a number of rounds equal to the penalty taken upon detaching the finger, and the penalty is removed.
Skinkfinger gloves cannot be removed while the wearer has fingers missing. A finger cannot be detached if detaching it would leave the hand with fewer than two fingers.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, blood biography, infernal healing; Cost 4750 gp

Format:

Minor re-phrasing:“this penalty is only removed when the detached finger is destroyed.” Otherwise we need to figure out how to heal lasting maximum hit point damage.
The creator of the finger in a literal sense would be the wearer’s parents. Perhaps ‘using the original creature’s statistics.’
Fast-healing does not regrow missing limbs, so there’s an upper limit to the number of times this ability can be used. Regeneration or some mechanics text would fix this issue.

Does this add something to the game?

It’s an interesting mechanic if a tad gruesome. Sharing bloodline abilities is also novel.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

Yes, this provides a lot of flexibility to the party and some strong buffs. Besides, who needs 10 fingers.

As a GM?

Bloodline powers are very strong; there’s a reason the eldritch bloodline feat-chain is so long. I worry at giving an ability like this, especially at that price. Final decision would likely depend on how quickly fingers grow back.

Point at which I would stop up-voting (based on this year’s experiences): After the First cull.

[Rei]

Trekkie90909 wrote:

snipped for length

Thanks for your feedback. I've always found that bloodline abilities, especially ones with limited uses per day, tend to get ignored by most characters that possess them due to the nature of the bloodline classes - a draconic sorcerer will almost never use their claws unless they're specifically built to go into dragon disciple, for instance, and even in that case they're usually worse off than going f.ex. skald/DD due to things like lack of hit points and armor. I wanted to see if I could come up with an idea that would allow for some more mileage out of those abilities. My rules mojo just wasn't good enough to actually make it worth looking at.

[unclefes]

Trekkie90909 wrote:

This would make a great basis for a monster, although I’m not thrilled with the ‘consume and cast spells’ bit. It’s a bit niche for an item...

Very much appreciate the feedback! Thanks.

[Paul Migaj]

Trekkie90909 wrote:

Format:

Solid. Using the ability is boring; it’d be more interesting if there were more player interaction involved than ‘activate as a standard action.’ This is especially true as there’s little descriptive imagery to draw the reader into the item.

Does this add something to the game?

Definitely; this is a strong item at the level you can get it, and while it drops off in effectiveness (as things get huge fort save bonuses) the penalties remain potent all the way to 20. Better, there’s nothing like this in the game.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

I favor static bonuses over variable to a significant extent; the dice REALLY hate me. That said, in terms of the ‘active which screws enemies over’ items I saw this year, this was hands down the best. I’d be tempted to get it, so I’m sure others would. Maybe if this were some kind of reactive penalty I could hit others with when they tumble past me, or cast spells in my direction.

As a GM?

It’s neat; I could see putting it on law enforcement officials. Heck, I could see this inspiring a lot of city-guard related itemizations. That said, it mostly favors the side with greater action economy since burning a standard action for a highly situational short...

Thank you for the review. I really appreciate you taking your time to give an honest appraisal, it helps me to get better at design. I'm glad the idea was solid, and I will work on making future items more interesting, both in their visualization and in the method of their use. Now I'm going to spend some time thinking about how I might do that with this item as practice.

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Fluttering sphere

Aura moderate conjuration; CL 7th
Slot none; Price 9000 gp; Weight 1 lbs.
Description
Up to seven swallowtail butterflies fly around in this translucent sphere, often carried by the favored of Desna. On command the sphere dissolves and each of the residents flies to an unoccupied spot within 60 feet, multiplying into a flutter of incorporeal butterflies occupying a square 5 feet on a side. The user of the item selects where the flutters form. The flutters provide concealment.
Any creature of Medium size or smaller entering a flutter teleports into another random flutter as though they had cast dimension door. The teleporting creature may not take other creatures with them. The destination flutter scatters. Random flutter also vanishes every ten minutes.
When only single flutter remains, it gathers and solidifies into a translucent sphere. Each dawn, a new butterfly appears within the sphere, until there are seven. The sphere may be activated when there is at least one butterfly within.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, dimension door; Cost 4500 gp

Format:

I enjoyed much of the execution of this item, liked the theme, but found it lacking coherence. This start immediately as soon as I read the item’s name. “Fluttering sphere.” I’m picturing some sort of ball with wings – a golden snitch. I then read the description and more is revealed. There are butterflies fluttering around inside a crystal sphere, that’s interesting and there’s a desna reference so I’m expecting some sort of divine favor relating to travel. Then we go back to butterflies with the next bit, ok they go out to various points within a radius and transform into flutters. I’m kind of lost here, but ok we’re developing the butterfly theme. Oh and the flutters provide concealment. Alright, this is some sort of Desna stealth item. Kind of weird, doesn’t really involve spheres but I see the fluttering. Not sure if I like Desna, associated with freedom of movement, having an item which is physically a cage.

And now we get to the juicy bits which tie it into desna with the travelling; DDoor, good. The casting-but-not-casting language is very weak; I would leave the DDoor description entirely out of it and say something like, ‘a medium or smaller creature entering a flutter disappears in a swirl of ephemeral insects; flying through a shortcut in the cosmos to another randomly selected flutter within range. The butterflies in both squares retreat back into the rift after transport, closing it behind the creature.’

I’m unsure what having a flutter disappear every 10 minutes adds to the item.

Your last paragraph is a really beautiful way of describing a week-long recharging time.

The sphere would need at least two butterflies within to do anything upon activation, since releasing one butterfly means the flutter would immediately reform into an empty sphere.

Does this add something to the game?

Yes, there are teleportation items (i.e. cape of the mountebank), but unlike existing items yours is fun for the whole group. The entire party can potentially benefit from it, and the GM’s minions can even play along. Heck, the item works pretty well as a prison since DDoor eats all your actions after movement, and you could just position flutters around the portions of the BBEG that your front-liners aren’t occupying (admittedly this defeats the Desna angle).

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

I like the teleportation aspect; balancing having a lot of flutters but no control over where I end up vs having few flutters but great control over positioning would be fun to play with. On the other hand the sixty foot maximum teleportation distance is something I can cover with a charge, so I have to wonder if using the flutters for positional superiority is worthwhile.

As a GM?

I have abuse concerns, and simultaneously worry that the item is not strong enough. At this point I would veto it since the mechanics emphasize finding fringe uses for exploit instead of using the nifty teleportation ability.

Point at which I would stop up-voting (based on this year’s experiences): After the third cull.

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Thieving Bookmark

Aura weak transmutation; CL 5th
Slot none; Price 3500 gp; Weight —
Description
This innocuous item is an elegant ribbon of any color, of the type used to hold one’s place in an expensive tome. It may be used as a mundane bookmark without its magic being drained.
To use, the bookmark is placed between the blank pages of a book and activated. It is then removed and placed between the written pages of another book. If left for an hour, writing and images are removed from the written book and placed in the blank book. Removal begins with the pages touching the bookmark and proceeds forward. Up to 30 pages of non-magical writing or 10 pages of magical writing can be moved. Magical protections like glyph of warding or explosive runes are bypassed and not transferred.
A thieving bookmark cannot transfer scrolls or magical books that do not grant spells. Secret page causes the illusory text to be copied and also dispels the effect. If a spell would continue beyond the remaining available pages, that spell is not transferred. If the blank book runs out of pages, subsequent pages are lost to both books. If the bookmark is moved before the hour ends, the magic simply fails.
Regardless of the result, an hour after being placed inside the second book the thieving bookmark vanishes.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, memorize page, comprehend languages, erase, creator must be able to scribe scrolls: Cost 1750 gp

Format:

Activated how? I assume if you’re using this to copy material you’ll want a stealth option, and yet closing a book on it is too broad an activation if you can use it for mundane text.

Otherwise fairly straightforward

Does this add something to the game?

Yes, not much means for bypassing spells like explosive runes without this. Potentially very useful for spying/intrigue heavy plots.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

It’s useful, but out of my price range.

As a GM?

Given that even true-seeing can’t reveal the text of secret page, and no dispel check is attempted by the bookmark that section of the bookmark is poorly considered; if it ignores magical traps it should also ignore magical obfuscation. I assume the balancing point is supposed to be the consumable nature of the mark, but I would prefer a well balanced item at a low price point to a high priced item with poor balance.

Point at which I would stop up-voting (based on this year’s experiences): After the Second Cull

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Staff of Perfect Harmony

Aura: Moderate Abjuration; CL13th
Slot None; Price 53,000 gp; Weight8 lbs.
Description
This +3 quarterstaff is made from entwined darkwood and ivory, capped on each end with a warding palm made of electrum. The wielder of the Staff of Perfect Harmony can sunder a spell that targets her or a spell that includes her in it's area of effect as an immediate action, as the barbarian rage power spell sunder. Instead of surpressing the effect upon exceeding the CMD of the spell, the wielder instead gains a +2 circumstance bonus on the save to resist the spell, or +3 if she exceeded the CMD by 5 to 9. If the effect would be completely dispelled it still affects other targets and creatures as normal. This ability is useable three times per day. If the wielder if a monk of at least 9th level, she can expend 3 points from her ki pool to use this ability instead.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Improved Sunder, Dispel Magic, creator must be a monk of at least 9th level; Cost 26,500 gp
Thanks in advance, feel free to rip me apart.

Format:

Minor spacing and spelling errors.

Does this add something to the game?

Yes, it widens the circle of people who can sunder spells from barbarian and rogue.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

Assuming I have this on a monk; My CMB is terrible compared to a barbarian’s so that’s potentially an issue with parroting a barbarian ability with barbarian DCs. I will never be able to afford one of these before 9th level, likely not before 15th so that wording is extraneous. I have good saves already, so the bonus is less useful but still nice. If I’m a different class the bonuses are more attractive.

This seems a bit like a trap option since a successful sunder isn’t hugely impactful.

As a GM?

Similar thoughts to the player, but I’d ok it.

Point at which I would stop up-voting (based on this year’s experiences): Second Cull.

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Ghostly Tome

Aura faint necromancy; CL 5th
Slot none; Price 40,000 gp; Weight 3 lbs.
Description
Strewn with cobwebs, this pale tome appears to fade from view when moved into shadow.
When preparing spells, an arcane spellcaster may choose to inscribe up to five of her spells within the ghostly tome, paying the material cost of each spell as required. Spells inscribed in this way count towards her daily allotment of spells. Spells cast from the ghostly tome which target incorporeal creatures do not suffer the usual 50% penalty for affecting an incorporeal creature. Spells cast from the ghostly tome affect corporeal creatures normally.
Once cast, the spell's inscription fades from the book’s pages, becoming illegible. A new spell may be inscribed when the character has free spell slots available.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Craft (books), Empower Spell, imbue with spell ability; Cost 20,000 gp

Format:

Pretty solid; high price. It might have been interesting to make the spells incorporeal so they have 50% efficacy against corporeal creatures.

There’s not much descriptive text for using the tome or flavor text for its conversion of spells into their ethereal variants.

Need a number of ranks for Craft (books), craft is a skill not a feat so it would be categorized as “other requirements” and placed after the spell section.

Does this add something to the game?

Yes, it gives a ghostbane dirge type option to arcane casters – of course they could always just use force spells instead.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

Sure, it’s useful.

As a GM?

Sure. It doesn't inspire the imagination or have many interactive qualities though, so it's not super-star.

Point at which I would stop up-voting (based on this year’s experiences): After the fourth cull.

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Nine Dimensional Blade

Aura strong abjuration; CL 15th
Slot none; Price 175,049 gp; Weight 8 lbs.
Description
This +5 dispelling adamantine greatsword is inscribed with impossibly interwoven cerulean runes.
If the nine dimensional blade is swung as part of an attack at a wall spell or spell¬like ability or similar such effect (such as prismatic sphere or force cage), the wielder may make an attack roll against AC 10 + caster level at which the wall was created + spell level of the wall. If successful, the wielder suppresses the wall for 11 - spell level rounds in an area equal to the wielder's space, creating a hole in the wall. The wall effectively does not exist in the suppressed area. The minimum size of the hole is a 5 foot cube.
A suppressed wall causes no ill effects in the suppressed area. The wall reverts back to normal once the suppression ends.
This effect works on mundane walls (which are treated as AC 10 + hardness of material), walls created through instantaneous spells like wall of iron and on walls that have been made permanent through permanency. The effected wall still reverts back to normal at the end of the suppression duration.
If targeting a wall composed of multiple layers, such as a prismatic wall, the wielder of the nine dimensional blade makes one attack roll per layer as part of a single attack on the wall.
If the wielder of the nine dimensional blade fails to beat the effective AC of the targeted wall, this ability is suppressed for 1d4 rounds and the wielder suffers any appropriate effects for striking the wall.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, disintegrate, dispel magic, passwall, creator must be a caster of at least 10th level; Cost 89049gp and 5 sp.

Format:

o.O not two items after another spell sunder post on the thread. The other one was considerably more concise.

What’s nine dimensional about it? Affected wall. So why do you have creator must be a caster of at least 10th level in the construction requirements if the CL of the item is 15?

Does this add something to the game?

We needed the Kool-Aid man in the party, now we have him. On a side note there are plenty of ways to fly around or phase through walls which are less expensive.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

I don’t see a need for it honestly. I guess for heavily armored types who can’t afford fly.

As a GM?

This affects mundane walls, but there’s not a good way of balancing this; can you sunder the wall of a cave and make a tunnel which might be hundreds of feet long? I guess at the price that would be ok but it seems like a head-ache. Veto.

Point at which I would stop up-voting (based on this year’s experiences): First Cull

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Stonewake Greatsword

Aura moderate conjuration; CL 15th
Slot none; Price 104,325 gp; Weight 6 lbs.
Description
This weapon is made from a single shard of obsidian, pale glowing veins run through the interior.
As a full-round action, the wielder can attempt a DC 25 strength check to drive this +3 Corrosive Burst Obsidian Greatsword into a surface of natural stone or earth, a successful check conjures a Huge earth elemental as if using summon monster vi; only one elemental may be summoned per day. The blade is embedded in the elemental for the duration of it's summoning, granting the elementals natural attacks the magical properties of the weapon. The blade may be removed with a DC 30 strength check, if successful the elemental loses the benefits of the weapon and disappears in 1d4 rounds, or when the summoning duration ends, whichever occurs first.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, acid arrow, summon monster vi; Cost 52,325 gp

Formatting:

Pretty solid. The DC 30 str check to pull the blade out feels random. I almost expect some Arthurian reference reading it but instead it’s just a way to get your sword back. The tradeoff between losing your weapon and gaining a summon is interesting.

Does this add something to the game?

Sort of; a weapon which can buff summons is new and interesting – I would explore that area more in a rework.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

I think an item of this sort is best suited for casters and that as written it has little appeal for any particular PC.

As a GM?

It’s interesting, I find myself asking a lot of questions like ‘where did this sword come from?’ and ‘how can I work this into a fun side quest?’

Point at which I would stop up-voting this (based on this year’s experiences): Around the third cull.

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Time Shard

Aura Strong Transmutation; CL 17th
Slot neck; Price 50,000 gp; Weight - lbs.
Description
This green piece of material is translucent and warm to the touch. It looks to be made from glass but feels more like metal, and fits in the palm of a hand. A warm, green glow emits from inside when touched. It is worn as a brooch.
Once a day, this item can actived it as a move action, ending his round when he does so, which will cause him to become phased out of time. This functions as a Supernatural Ability. Until the beginning of his next round, he is insubstantial and can not be effected by any physical means, is immune to magic and gains DR 20/- against ethereal threats (and items that have Ghost Touch). Coming out of a phase of time at the beginning of the next round, the character will have two standard actions and a move action, will not provoke attacks of opportunity and can split his movement between attacks for that round.
At the end of the round, he gains the sickened condition for 1d4 rounds and the Time Shard has a cumulative 8 percent chance to be lost in the ethers of time, disappearing from the character’s inventory.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Haste, Time Stop, Crafter must have been through an instance of time at least 300 years out from his normal time progression; Cost 25,000 gp

Formatting:

What shape is it to be worn as a brooch?

Slightly clunky phrasing, misspellings present. Affected not effected. Why all the DR?

Does this add something to the game?

Invulnerability frames and X-factor.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?
No.

As a GM?

No. As I’ve said in a different review, preventing interaction with the environment by taking away people’s ability to respond to hazards is toxic to gameplay.

Point at which I would stop up-voting this (based on this year’s experiences): Pre-cull

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Testament of Pharasma

Aura moderate abjuration; CL 7th
Slot none;Price 10,500 gp; Weight 85 lbs.
Description
This mossy gravestone features the spiral symbol of Pharasma prominently on the front, and holy text chiseled on the reverse. The testament is carried using a looped rope on the user’s back.The testament of pharasma is a holy symbol of Pharasma that does not have to be held or retrieved to be used as a divine focus, but must remain visible. Once per day as a full round action, the user recites a litany from the reverse of the gravestone granting allies within 30 feet DR 5/- against the attacks of undead creatures for 1 minute.
Once per day the testament may be affixed to the ground. The gravestone then counts as a permanent fixture dedicated to Pharasma for the purposes of consecrate and spells that require such a fixture. This placing is activated as a standard action that does not provoke an attack of opportunity.
An affixed testament of pharasma grants you total cover similar to using a tower shield for total cover; you choose the gravestone’s facing as if using a tower shield when it is placed. The gravestone is removed from its position as a move action using the command word, but otherwise remains affixed indefinitely.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, consecrate, greater shield of fortification; Cost 5,250 gp

Formatting:

The mechanical text is well executed and follows your chosen theme well. Lack of descriptive imagery hurts, making the end result read more like an SAK. Personally I think you could have accomplished the same effect with fewer words if it were a tower shield.

Does this add something to the game?

Yes, it’s a new holy symbol which has a lot of extra uses.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

Sure, it’s handy.

As a GM?

It feels munchkin-y from the description, but is ok overall.

Point at which I would stop up-voting this (based on this year’s experiences): Second Cull

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Spirit-Catcher

Aura moderate necromancy and divination; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 24,000 gp; Weight 4 lbs.
Description
The top of this darkwood staff splits in two, with an intricate skein of cords stretched between its upper branches.
A spirit-catcher is used to capture the essence of incorporeal undead, and later releasing that essence as negative energy.
The skein of the spirit-catcher glows with an eerie blue nimbus when incorporeal undead are within 30 feet.
When an incorporeal undead creature is destroyed within 30 feet of a spirit-catcher, as an immediate action the bearer may draw its essence into the spirit-catcher. The amount of essence stored in the spirit-catcher is measured by the Hit Dice of the captured creature; it can store up to 10 HD--excess HD are lost. The spirit-catcher can only store the essence of one creature. Stored essence may be replaced by capturing another creature.
As a standard action, the bearer can release the essence harmlessly. Alternatively, the bearer may release the entire essence of the spirit-catcher to make a fearsome attack, also as a standard action. The shrieking spirit of the creature emerges and streaks unerringly towards a target creature within 30 feet and line of effect. Living targets take 1d6 negative energy damage per HD of essence released. A successful DC 16 Will save halves this damage. The spirit dissipates after this attack.
Necromancers are known to instead use the attack ability of the spirit-catcher to strengthen their undead minions. The attack can be directed against an undead creature, causing it to gain 2 temporary hit points per HD of essence released.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, chill touch, command undead, detect undead; Cost 12,000 gp

Formatting:

I would say quarterstaff, not staff to avoid any confusions which might result in disqualification. When I think of catchers I think of protective or warding equipment, so there’s a bit of a mental disconnect for me when reading through your offense focused weapon description.

The mechanics work, but could be streamlined with some descriptive text to make reading it more pleasant.

Does this add something to the game?

Yes, there are spells which let one do things to dead opponents, but to my knowledge no way of harnessing spirit energy from incorporeal creatures much less any items or effects which utilize said energy to empower attacks.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

Sure; I wouldn’t get it, but it’s not a bad item.

As a GM?

I’m not a fan of the direction taken for the overall theme, and it does read like a staff that was reworked to avoid DQ. That said, weak pass.

Point at which I would stop up-voting this (based on this year’s experiences): Second Cull.

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Earthbind Manacles

Aura moderate abjuration; CL 10th
Slot wrist; Price 12,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
These brown leather bracers of armor +2 can be used to strip opponents of their ability to fly. Once per day, the manacles can be activated to create a sphere of power around the wearer with a radius of 50 feet that negates all forms of magical flight and levitation. Negated effects act as if they had been dispelled, although they will function properly if they leave the radius of the sphere of power. While the bracers are activated, the wearer gains the grappled condition even if under the protection of effects that might normally provide immunity to that condition (such as freedom of movement). The wearer of the earthbind manacles cannot be affected by any form of magical flight or levitation until 24 hours after the manacles are removed.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, dispel magic; Cost 6,000 gp

Formatting:

Earthbound Manacles might almost be a better description given their effect on the wearer. Your first sentence leads the reader to assume that all forms of flight will be stripped; if your item only affects magical flight then it should always refer to magical flight instead of flight. Your description would be enhanced by using the word “suppressed.” “Once per day the manacles can be activated (by a command word?) to create a 50 foot radius sphere of power around the wearer which suppresses all forms of magical flight and levitation. While this effect is active…”

Does this add something to the game?

Not really; there’s the dragon-catch guisarme for flight in general, and a number of ways to negate magical flight.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

I don’t see a need for it, would not use personally.

As a GM?

No.

Point at which I would stop up-voting this (based on this year’s experiences): First Cull

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Canary's Mining Helmet

Aura Faint Abjuration; CL 1st
Slot Head; Price 5,350 gp; Weight 3 lbs.
Description
This rusted tin helmet is topped with a small cage containing a golden canary. When the helmet comes within 30' of a poisonous or particularly flammable gas, the canary in the cage emits a loud chirping sound to warn the wearer. In addition, when a piece of metal or ore is placed in the canary's nest, the wearer gains the ability to cast Detect Metal at will. This ability is only capable of detecting metal of the same type that was placed in the nest.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wonderous Items, Detect Poison, Detect Metal; Cost 2,675 gp

Formatting:

Solid; concise writing, and the item has a strong theme. Minor template issue: spell requirements should be alphabetized.

Does this add something to the game?

Definitely, a detect traps passive (although I think this is meant more for environmental hazards) combined with an interesting mining related function.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

As a rogue player I’m never all that happy to see items which replace my utility; gaining a bonus on perception checks from the canary’s chirping would have been much more agreeable than simply having the canary detect things independent of any action on my part. The detect metal bit seems really interesting. I’m not sure how I’d use it in game short of appraising gear – some tie-in to that might have been helpful.

As a GM?

Ooh, tasty NPC item – I would love to put this on a miner/foreman although I think it’s generally outside their pay range.

Point at which I would stop up-voting this (based on this year’s experiences): Around the third or fourth cull.

[Darklord Morius]

Never had the intention to make a armor, the intent was to make a piece of cloth. As a kilt, it could not fit on "body" and i don't wanted it to be used with Belt of Giant's Strength. Maybe i could just make it a belt instead...

Yeah, i should have written "knee length" instead, i'll study English harder next time.

Finally, it's not a plot device. The ancestors thing it's just a way to explain in a nice way how the magic works. The kilt creates a connection with your belligerent parents or great-great parent and you. Giving you bonuses in battle. Like Prayer. Its a spell that give you bonuses because you pray. If my item is a plot device, so the spell Prayer.

About how Kilt is: Kilts have side buckles to fasten it to the waist (according to wikipedia, i don't have one). I've put some extra buckles because, you know, fantasy.

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Shield of Slick Escapades

Aura moderate conjuration; CL 7th
Slot none; Price 23580 gp; Weight 45 lbs.
Description
This otherwise plain +2 tower shield has a coat of dark grease on its surface which visibly thins each time it is used until its bright polished surface is revealed. For three times until the grease is fully expended an immediate action can be used after an attack roll is made against its wielder to attempt having the attack skim off the side of the shield. This provides its wielder a 20% miss chance against the attack which does not stack with but may be used in addition to any similar effect.
If the tower shield has already been used to provide total cover during his previous turn, its wielder may also push it flat on the ground and get on it prone to slide up to five times his speed without any speed reduction from encumbrance by armor or weight as a full-round action. He is not threatened by any opponent he can see during this movement and uses up all the remaining grease on the shield to leave a trail of slippery dark grease behind him as the grease spell for seven minutes. Each change in direction during this movement requires a successful DC 15 Acrobatics check and spends 10 feet of movement.
Once the grease on the shield has been fully expended its wielder may carefully spread a new layer covering up its now bright surface by casting grease, applying alchemical grease or using any other similar spell or item for an uninterrupted hour. Starting the process again from the beginning requires additional uses of the spell or item.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Run, grease, expeditious retreat; Cost 11880 gp

Formatting:

Minor issue: needs commas in the price/cost

Which is it; plain or bright polished? What does the wood look like? How thick does the grease look?

Very clunky phrasing.
Riding a shield should require a ride check.
Does this add something to the game?

I imagine everyone has surfed their tower shield (or attempted to) down a flight of stairs at some point in their adventuring careers; it’s insanely fun, and not currently supported by the rules – I like seeing a dedicated mechanism for this.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

I don’t approve of effects which cause a success to become a failure with little to no investment on the defender’s part. Either use the ability on your turn or before the attack is made. On the other hand if this were my shield I’d be unhappy with the item’s scaling; as people get more attacks an ability which affects up to three attacks per day at most once per turn is not appealing.

As a GM?

Keep recharge mechanisms on staves, they negate balancing considerations when factoring costs.

Point at which I would stop up-voting this (based on this year’s experiences): After the Third Cull.

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Rimemist Tetsubo

Aura moderate transmutation; CL 8th
Slot none; Price 22,320 gp; Weight 10 lbs.
Description
This +1 frost tetsubo glints with beads of frozen dew, while wisps of fog waft around the handle. As a swift action, the wielder can call on a rolling billow of chilling fog to transform her into a gaseous form as the spell for up to 5 rounds each day. These rounds need not be consecutive.
Ice clings to a rimemist tetsubo as it leaves gaseous form, and the next successful attack deals an extra 1d4 cold damage as ice shards break from it.
The wielder of a rimemist tetsubo may suspend a gaseous form spell affecting her as a swift action, solidifying her corporeal form for 1 round. These rounds still count against the duration of the spell.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, gaseous form, chill metal or ice storm; Cost 11,320 gp

Formatting:

Minor template issue; alphabetize spell requirements. Since you have the extra word count you could have played up the solidification ability at the end with ice coalescing briefly out of the fog.

Underpriced given the horseshoes of mist.

Does this add something to the game?

It’s a weapon version of the horseshoes of mist, that said the coalescence ability is new.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

No.

As a GM?

No.
Point at which I would stop up-voting this (based on this year’s experiences): After the First Cull.

[Wren Brown]

Trekkie90909 wrote:

Quote:

Vudrani Fighting Rope

Stuff..

Thanks for the feedback. :)

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Rogueblade

Aura moderate conjuration; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 9,560 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
It is difficult to see the swirling smoke pattern etched into this blackened +2 short sword however once its special powers are revealed it is obvious that this is a weapon designed to appeal to those with a roguish bent. When the pommel ring is unscrewed and the wielder peers inside they see the inky blackness and seemingly endless depths of a bag of holding . Smaller than the smallest of known magical bags, , this shadowy blade’s extradimensional space can hold 50 lbs. and measures at only 10 cubic ft. in volume. If the item can fit into the one and a half inch opening where the pommel ring normally resides then it can be placed in the sword. Common items include lock picks, potions, pitons, silken rope and other tools of thievery. Items placed in the rogueblade can be retrieved as a full round action, rather than the standard action normally attributed to bags of holding. The pommel ring is designed to have rope tied to it and in a pinch the peculiar curve of the swords crosspiece allows the rogueblade to be used as a grappling hook. The weapon will not reflect light due to the tempering process used on the blade which creates its blackened luster.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, secret chest; Cost 4,780 gp

Formatting:

Name and ‘appeal to those with a roguish bent’ statement are a bit over the top. You can spend words letting us come to this conclusion by describing something interesting rather than telling us that we wouldn’t/couldn’t have come to that conclusion on our own.

Description is otherwise solid, although does little to captivate the reader’s attention.

While I appreciate the grappling hook quality, as this is very useful, I would have liked a more weapon-y feel to this to preserve your theme. After all, this is supposed to be a blade for rogues, not a modified omnitool. Perhaps some play towards gaining reach with your dagger, quickened ability to retrieve it when thrown, or combine attacks with using items (caltrops as an example) stored in the knife.

Does this add something to the game?

It’s a new bag to put one’s tricks in, somewhat novel execution.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

I always like having handy places to conceal my random gear when playing a rogue; for some reason people always frisk the party when we’re around. I’m not sure the item goes far enough to do that consistently. I like the grappling hook angle, but then I’m unarmed when I finish climbing the wall and need it to gut the helpless mook who was supposed to guard against me so I’m not thrilled with the execution. Overall I think finesse rogues (which the unchained variant heavily supports) will love the item, but I’m not impressed.

As a GM?

Stamp of approval; it could go in a book. I don’t see myself using it on mooks/NPCs, and I don’t see anything which says ‘superstar.’

Point at which I would stop up-voting this (based on this year’s experiences): first or second cull

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Anathema Brand

Aura faint evocation and necromancy; CL 3rd
Slot none; Price 500 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
Visages silently crying out in horror flicker through the dancing flame of this torch so quickly that they appear almost a trick of the eye.
While lit, the torch generates a 40-foot-radius aura that creates a gnawing sense of desolation. Any creature other than the torch bearer within the aura must succeed at a DC 13 Will save or be shaken for 1 minute; it becomes immune to this specific torch's effect on a successful save or after 1 minute. The bearer can ignite a creature shaken by an anathema brand by using the lit torch to make a melee touch attack. On a successful hit, the target catches on fire, taking 1d6 points of fire damage each round as it is engulfed in flames filled with images of screaming faces.
Any allies of a burning creature must succeed at a DC 13 Will save or regard it as abhorrent and shy away from it. They cannot provide or receive a flanking bonus from the burning creature, and no longer consider it an ally for the purposes of effects such as teamwork feats, class abilities and magical effects such as bless. This effect ends when the burning creature is extinguished. The torch's abilities are mind-affecting fear effects.
The torch can only ignite a single target at a time; further attempts automatically fail until a previous target is no longer on fire.
After it is first lit, an anathema brand burns for up to eight hours, at which point its magic is expended. Time spent with the torch extinguished counts against this duration.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, scare, spark; Cost 250 gp

Formatting:

Preventing or decentivizing teamwork in a team based RPG which consists entirely of PVE elements is probably not a good direction to move in unless it’s for very specific themed elements (Cthulhu for example).

I would have limited the fear effect to a 20' radius; the same as the normal light radius for the torch under the assumption that this is where they could see the images clearly enough to be affected.

The imagery here is good, the price pretty reasonable for a consumable until we get ‘can only ignite one target at a time;’ the igniting aspect is on par with a +2 enchantment (igniting weapon), but between the consumable nature of the torch and the fact it only affects enemies shaken the brand there’s plenty of trade-off – given this trade-off alone I don’t think the ‘one target at a time’ the one target at a time limitation feels like overkill. There’s not a clear connection between the fire and the fear imagery, at least to me; if it played into pyrophobia (my preference) in some way or had some macabre aspect to its construction the theme might flow better.

Does this add something to the game?

Yes, it’s a powerful debuffing tool with powerful imagery; there are some (much higher price) items which also do AoE shaken conditions, but this one holds its own.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

No, I don’t like getting set on fire; I really don’t like having allies sit around telling me to put myself out (oh the horror) instead of helping.

As a GM?

No.

Point at which I would stop up-voting this (based on this year’s experiences): Third cull.

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Chrysalis Cloak

Aura faint transmutation; CL 5th
Slot shoulders; Price 12,500 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
All transmutation spells, abilities and effects that the wearer of this stiff, mottled brown cloak become subject to have their caster level increased by one.
In addition, whenever the wearer of a chrysalis cloak becomes subject to such an effect, the cloak transforms into a pair of insectile wings, most often resembling those of a butterfly or moth. These wings grant the wearer a fly speed of 60 feet (maneuverability good) for one round per caster level of the transmutation spell, ability or effect that triggered the transformation.
Construction Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Heighten Spell, fly; Cost 6,250 gp

Formatting:

Avoid passive voice as it eats word count and weakens prose (become subject to), also using the word ‘all’ is redundant; try ‘The caster level of transmutation spells, abilities, and effects that target the wearer of this stiff, mottled brown cloak are increased by one.’ Which begs the question; what about transmutation abilities, and effects which don’t rely on a caster level?

I found the caster level bonus very odd: First it does not directly help the wearer unless they happen to be a caster or have a friendly one. Second even if this is on a caster, it only helps them if they’re of a ‘morph and eat them’ persuasion. Third it does not play into the insect imagery/theme of the cloak at all.

‘In addition’ similarly weakens your writing; keep things fluid, you’re now describing the visual part of what you just described to the reader; you're still writing in a passive voice, try to make your descriptions as active as possible--it draws the reader in. “When so affected, the cloak opens up--transforming into a pair of giant moth wings…”

Mechanically, looking at “wings of flying,” and “wings of the gargoyle” as examples your item is hugely underpriced. That said, personally I think the published items are overpriced in comparison to magical means of flight, such as that granted by celestial armor. To avoid confusion at your price point, I would have pointed the reader to the fly spell. This would have cut word count (not a huge issue in your submission), while addressing the reader’s pricing concerns.

I would have made the fly effect dependent of spell level so that it is less abusable. What if the wearer is under the effects of an “ability or effect” without a spell level or caster level?

With a name like “Chrysalis Cloak” I was expecting an item which protects the wearer while they transform. I do like the play on the bug imagery with coming out of the cocoon to have wings; I feel like you could have played up the theme more strongly given your scant word-count and feel mildly disappointed at the end result. Perhaps having transmutation spells, and effects treated as one caster level higher was supposed to do this, if so it’s too implicit for me to see.

Does this add something to the game?

No.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

It’s useful, I don’t have a problem with it but probably will not buy it.

As a GM?

It might play to a specific villain or two, but will not see widespread use.

Point at which I would stop up-voting this (based on this year’s experiences): Second or Third cull.

[Trekkie90909]

Quote:

Diver's Float

Aura faint evocation; CL 2nd
Slot shoulders; Price 2,000 gp; Weight -
Description
This small, brown, airtight leather balloon is about a foot wide, and full of air, allowing its user to float. It is strapped on by ropes around the user's shoulders. However, it allows the user to control their depth magically. To control it, the user hums a certain number of notes, telling it how many feet deep they want to go.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, gust of wind, leather, two feet of rope; Cost 1000 gp

Formatting:

How to use commas. Everyone should read the rules of comma usage, starting at a young age and continue referencing them occasionally as they mature.

However is used to introduce contradictory information. It is strapped on by roapes around the user’s shoulders, however it allows the user to control their depth magically does not make sense. The two statements are not in conflict. ‘and’ would have been more appropriate.

Does this add something to the game?

Potentially; this is basically levitate underwater.

Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?

I could see it being useful, particularly in conjunction with the diver’s weights submission.

As a GM?

It’s not something I would get a lot of use out of, but for certain scenarios yes it’s a good fit.

Point at which I would stop up-voting this (based on this year’s experiences): After the first cull.