You are, without a doubt, the WORST Pathfinder...


Pathfinder Society

Scarab Sages 4/5 **

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Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path Subscriber

I am reminded of the above quote from Pirates of the Caribbean, and I would encourage others to tell stories of the "worst pathfinders". Not in a mean way, but in a comedic way. I'll set the tone with last night's game:

A certain low level adventure. The Pathfinders find a special coin. They appraise it, use knowledge local and history on it. Then someone thinks to cast Detect Magic. The coin is magical!

They take the coin to a magic-shop in Absalom and pay to get it identified. The merchant completes the Identification, looks up at them in disdain and says

Merchant: "You are the WORST Pathfinders I've ever met. This is a PATHFINDER COIN. How did you not know what it was?"
Pathfinders: "Hey, we're new. What does a Pathfinder Coin do?"
Merchant: (*sigh*) "You place it in a Wayfinder and it relays a message."
Pathfinders: "...Do you have a Wayfinder we could borrow?"
(At this point, we all start laughing)
Merchant: "Just... Just leave my store."

The Pathfinders then decide to head to the Grand Lodge, where Wayfinders are sold - the plan is to just take one "off the shelf" and "test it out" with the coin to retrieve the message.

(The players are laughing even more at this point, as many of them had worked retail earlier in life - and had to deal with people constantly tearing open packages in the store to look at products, without buying them. This seems like a karmic balance to them).

With the message in hand (and without buying a Wayfinder), they totally complete the adventure with 2 prestige (barely).

Much fun was had by all.

4/5

3 people marked this as a favorite.

In a certain scenario that has a unique ioun stone for navigation, the 7 INT bloodrager was the only person who realized we were walking around in circles outside the destination building and only because of an INT check.

In hostile territory, no less.

Shadow Lodge 4/5

7 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens Subscriber

Don't get me started on the number of scenarios where we're in hostile territory where Pathfinders are unwelcome, and the party tries to excuse breaking and entering or assaulting random citizens with "It's okay, we're Pathfinders!" like they're law enforcement.

Liberty's Edge 5/5 5/55/55/5

as the worst pathfinder ever you....

Delivered the mission debriefing in interpretive dance form...

Forgot to loot the body

attacked the orphanage for "looking at you funny"

forgot to put on their aspsis badges before misbehaving

shouted "shadowlodge for life" before cutting the cake for dinner. In bloodcove.

Scarab Sages

1 person marked this as a favorite.
The Morphling wrote:
Don't get me started on the number of scenarios where we're in hostile territory where Pathfinders are unwelcome, and the party tries to excuse breaking and entering or assaulting random citizens with "It's okay, we're Pathfinders!" like they're law enforcement.

I HATE that. We listen to the 10 minute opening dialaog from the VC about how we are undercover, and do not reveal that you are pathfinders. First thing that they do is flash a wayfinder and say "we're pathfinders!". Goodbye second prestige point.

Sczarni 5/5 5/55/5 ***

Party is sent to remote town where three NPC Pathfinders have been imprisoned and sentenced to death unless they can be cleared of all charges. It's pretty clear that the party is supposed to operate incognito and definitely NOT reveal that they're Pathfinders. What does the party do? Go straight to the jail and reveal that they're Pathfinders. What happens when they don't get the warm welcome they're expecting? Sap the mayor.

Different party encounters a hostile monster who says Pathfinders recently looted her lair, dug up graves, and vandalized what was left. Party's response? "That's terrible! We'll hunt them down for you!" Next encounter, another hostile NPC sees one of them wearing a Wayfinder. When he points out the item, their response? "We looted this off a dead Pathfinder. Don't worry, we're here to help you." So, the party successfully didn't murderhobo their way through the scenario (Yay!), but at the same time also didn't improved the local's attitude towards Pathfinders.

Liberty's Edge 5/5

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Starfinder Superscriber

Nothing beats the PCs you play in "Serpent's Rise" for being really awful Pathfinders... :D

Sovereign Court 4/5 5/5 ** Venture-Lieutenant, Netherlands—Leiden

What always puzzles me is the scenarios where NPCs start off a dialogue with "well, Pathfinders..." even though we didn't show any insignia or talk about it.

There's gotta be third-tier robber bands that make a living by claiming to be pathfinders to intimidate the yokels.

5/5 5/55/55/5

4 people marked this as a favorite.
Ascalaphus wrote:

What always puzzles me is the scenarios where NPCs start off a dialogue with "well, Pathfinders..." even though we didn't show any insignia or talk about it.

.

A Human riding a talking garden fountain, a creepy puppet shadow thing thing, 2 aasimar and 2 tieflings and a fox walk into a bar...

Sczarni 5/5 5/55/5 ***

There are (in at least a couple scenarios), but that's what Pathfinders are world renowned for: exploring.

It'd be like IRL, if you're walking down a trail in the mountains and come across a bunch of khaki-uniformed teenagers, you're probably going to assume they're Boyscouts. If they told you they were, you'd probably believe them without needing to roll a Sense Motive check. It's a believable statement.

Same thing with groups of armed adventurers in Golarion. They're probably Pathfinders, unless otherwise dressed or stating as much.

5/5 5/55/55/5

Nefreet wrote:

There are (in at least a couple scenarios), but that's what Pathfinders are world renowned for: exploring.

It'd be like IRL, if you're walking down a trail in the mountains and come across a bunch of khaki-uniformed teenagers, you're probably going to assume they're Boyscouts. If they told you they were, you'd probably believe them without needing to roll a Sense Motive check. It's a believable statement.

Same thing with groups of armed adventurers in Golarion. They're probably Pathfinders, unless otherwise dressed or stating as much.

I dunno. We don't know how common roving eclectic bands of murderhobos adventurers are. We play as boy scouts, so that's what we always see, but your average citizen could be seeing the explorer scouts just as often.

Scarab Sages

We've taken to calling ourselves the Aspis Consortium on a few occasions. It even saved us a prestige point once for "taking extraordinary measures to not implicate the pathfinder society".

The Exchange 5/5

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this happened in a home game, so maybe is out of place on the PFS board, but it makes a nice story.

Setting is: Group of PCs (delivery men) shortly after entering an old ruined temple, are ambushed without warning by a group from hiding.

Player #1:"who the heck are these guys and what kind of people attack without warning?"
Player #2: "Pathfinders!"
Player #3: "Damn Murder Hobos..."
Player #4: "Check the bodies for Wayfinders..."

Sczarni 5/5 5/55/5 ***

That was my point. The average trail hiker from the city would probably see a bunch of uniformed teenagers and assume they were Boy Scouts, and go about their merry way none the wiser. Meanwhile the aforementioned "scouts" proceeded to poach salmon, capture eagle chicks, and poison freshwater springs once the hikers were out of sight.

If the hikers doubled back, and saw one of the "scouts" raiding a nest, they would probably report the incident as "I saw Boy Scouts taking the chicks!". Only after further investigation would it be revealed that they weren't real scouts.

1/5 5/5

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Imbicatus wrote:
We've taken to calling ourselves the Aspis Consortium on a few occasions. It even saved us a prestige point once for "taking extraordinary measures to not implicate the pathfinder society".

We managed to pull a 'double-bluff' at one point during a scenario. We simply claimed to be 'From the Home Office', and managed to convince everyone we encountered that The Home Office 'outranked' both the Consortium and the Society, and if they had issues to take it up with 'management'.

It was truly fun when the big bad Aspis Consortium honcho looked at us with a confusion of fear, concern, and outright anger in a delicate negotiating moment.

"The Home Office wants to see both the Pathfinder Society and the Aspis Consortium properly represented in this situation. And since the Society hasn't seen fit to provide any agents, we'll fill in that role despite our misgivings."

1/5

7 people marked this as a favorite.

In one scenario recently we're going in and the people there are like "The aspis came and warned us the Pathfinders were coming, and that they are going to come kill us all and take our prized treasure." The party was all like "No, Pathfinders are the good guys and the Aspis are liars." And then they proceed to kill all the people on sight, one party member attacked a guy as he was introducing himself. Then they went and stole the sacred treasure after killing the chieftain since he wouldn't give it to us. And I'm like, "Yeah, those Aspis agents didn't lie at all"

Sovereign Court 5/5

7 people marked this as a favorite.

In one game, we ran a bluff that we were an Aspis Team posing as a Pathfinder team - which explained why we had a few Wayfinders with us, and no Aspis badges.

"It would blow our cover to be carrying our Badges - so we left them back at Base.
"And we didn't have enough Wayfinders to go around, so we are making do with the ones we could get ahold of. Now, we need you to help with the cover story... remember, a gang of Pathfinders came to talk to you..." {wink-wink} "...totally not an Aspis team."

The funniest part was when one of the players kept getting mixed up and saying she was a Pathfinder and the NPC would just say something like "Yeah, I got that"...

Yeah - we were Pathfinders, claiming to be Aspis agents posing as Pathfinders...

Silver Crusade 4/5

I think the weirdest "Who are we again?" moment I ever had in a PFS game was with a friend of mine playing a Paladin/Hellknight from Cheliax. We were sent to infiltrate a group of Hellknights, and weren't supposed to let them know we're Pathfinders. But as a paladin, she can't lie.

That PC was so min-maxed that she started with int 7 and wis 7 to get her 20 charisma to start, and yes, she played up her character as a very dumb blonde. So the rest of the party just lied to her and told the PC we weren't Pathfinders. We were just some people going to visit some of her fellow Hellknights with her.

I don't know if that made her the worst Pathfinder ever, but I think it might qualify her as the worst Hellknight ever. And definitely the worst worshiper of Aroden ever (this was before paladins were required to have a legal deity in PFS, so she played up her very dumb paladin refusing to believe that Aroden's dead).

The Exchange 4/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Wait the pathfinder coin wasn't for the pathfinder jukebox ?

5/5 *****

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Spoiler:
Running Bronze House Reprisal tonight. The group approach the dig site they have been told is being looted by the Aspis. Rather drunken guard spots them and demands to know who they are. "Hi, we're here from the Pathfinder Society"

*roll initiative*

5/5 *****

1 person marked this as a favorite.

When I ran Waking Rune the party Gunslinger got Geased to never harm another living being as long as he lived. The group kept trying to convince him that the things they met were illusions, cleverly disguised constructs and simulacrums.

It worked too.

Grand Lodge 4/5 **** Venture-Captain, California—Sacramento

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Ran an infiltration scenario a week ago. The PCs were supposed to pretend to be aspis mercs, go in, and earn their trust. Several of the players had to be reminded several times that they were not aspis agents and were there to sabotage the aspis mission, not complete it...

Liberty's Edge 5/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Starfinder Superscriber

You know you are the worst Pathfinder ever when another VC asks you, "You work for Grandmaster who?"

Shadow Lodge *

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Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

Guys-

Be careful with spoilers. Giving both scenario name *and* plot info without spoiler tags should be avoided.

Grand Lodge 2/5

It probably puts you in the running for worst Pathfinder if . . .

From Legacy of the Stonelords:
. . . you die thousands of years before the VC gives you the mission briefing.

Sovereign Court 2/5

Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber; Pathfinder Maps, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Maps, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Charter Superscriber
Chess Pwn wrote:
In one scenario recently we're going in and the people there are like "The aspis came and warned us the Pathfinders were coming, and that they are going to come kill us all and take our prized treasure." The party was all like "No, Pathfinders are the good guys and the Aspis are liars." And then they proceed to kill all the people on sight, one party member attacked a guy as he was introducing himself. Then they went and stole the sacred treasure after killing the chieftain since he wouldn't give it to us. And I'm like, "Yeah, those Aspis agents didn't lie at all"

Totally know which scenario you're talking about. Yeah, that irony wasn't lost on us either. Classic murderhobo.

Scarab Sages 2/5

andreww wrote:
** spoiler omitted **

"You just had to say that, did you?"

Proceeded to wait for whatever fallout happened. It wasn't pretty.

Silver Crusade 1/5

A merchant was offering his help to the society to rebuild some burned bridges, so to speak. The Pathfinders kept on antagonizing him, yelled at him for not deciding what to do (which was their job, not his) and after he congratulated them for a job well done threw a dead drake at him.
They left quite an impression, that they did.
They really tend to hate NPCs just because.

These guys tend to forget everything from the mission briefing, turning "We should help this guy because it's important that he X and Y for us because Z" into "Help this guy no matter what", completly ignoring all the other options to fulfill X and Y.

5/5 5/55/55/5

Got lost in your own museum. (granted, there was a 5th dimensional space vortex involved but still...)

1/5

4 people marked this as a favorite.
Mosaic wrote:
Chess Pwn wrote:
In one scenario recently we're going in and the people there are like "The aspis came and warned us the Pathfinders were coming, and that they are going to come kill us all and take our prized treasure." The party was all like "No, Pathfinders are the good guys and the Aspis are liars." And then they proceed to kill all the people on sight, one party member attacked a guy as he was introducing himself. Then they went and stole the sacred treasure after killing the chieftain since he wouldn't give it to us. And I'm like, "Yeah, those Aspis agents didn't lie at all"
Totally know which scenario you're talking about. Yeah, that irony wasn't lost on us either. Classic murderhobo.

Please do not use our profession's name as a slur, it only further perpetuates stereotypes and stigmatizes our company, clan, and kin. We are not wanton, uncouth, bloodthirsty brutes who kill ruthlessly and loot the bodies. The Golarion Union of Murderhoboes for the Betterment of Others will not sit and idly take this slander. Failure to cease and desist this defamation will likely end with us dragging you through the streets of Galt while strapped to the underside of a horse drawn buggy, robbed of all material wealth as a reparation for the harm done to our noble and virtuous reputation.

Yours,
~Jaspar "Shank Him Louis" Kahrdboordebachs~
your local GUMBO representative

Shadow Lodge 4/5

Imbicatus wrote:
The Morphling wrote:
Don't get me started on the number of scenarios where we're in hostile territory where Pathfinders are unwelcome, and the party tries to excuse breaking and entering or assaulting random citizens with "It's okay, we're Pathfinders!" like they're law enforcement.
I HATE that. We listen to the 10 minute opening dialaog from the VC about how we are undercover, and do not reveal that you are pathfinders. First thing that they do is flash a wayfinder and say "we're pathfinders!". Goodbye second prestige point.

Well, sadly that's PFS's fault. Past scenarios have explicitly warned you not to reveal you are Pathfinders only to either require it later on or actually reward you when you do or accidentally slip.

It doesn't help that since Grandmaster Torch left, all of the other PFS NPC representatives giving out missions are so incompetent and uninformed. Well, some of the Faction heads are an exception.

Shadow Lodge 4/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.
grandpoobah wrote:

I am reminded of the above quote from Pirates of the Caribbean, and I would encourage others to tell stories of the "worst pathfinders". Not in a mean way, but in a comedic way. I'll set the tone with last night's game:

A certain low level adventure. The Pathfinders find a special coin. They appraise it, use knowledge local and history on it. Then someone thinks to cast Detect Magic. The coin is magical!

They take the coin to a magic-shop in Absalom and pay to get it identified. The merchant completes the Identification, looks up at them in disdain and says

Merchant: "You are the WORST Pathfinders I've ever met. This is a PATHFINDER COIN. How did you not know what it was?"
Pathfinders: "Hey, we're new. What does a Pathfinder Coin do?"
Merchant: (*sigh*) "You place it in a Wayfinder and it relays a message."
Pathfinders: "...Do you have a Wayfinder we could borrow?"

Actually, if it's the scenario I'm thinking about, you know the one that's specifically designed for brand new players and explicitly has a lot of NPCs sitting there to be on hand to help the Players along with questions and lore like this, I'm tempted to say this is a case of worst DM. :P

Liberty's Edge 4/5

Murderhobo Union Representative wrote:


Please do not use our profession's name as a slur, it only further perpetuates stereotypes and stigmatizes our company, clan, and kin. We are not wanton, uncouth, bloodthirsty brutes who kill ruthlessly and loot the bodies. The Golarion Union of Murderhoboes for the Betterment of Others will not sit and idly take this slander. Failure to cease and desist this defamation will likely end with us dragging you through the streets of Galt while strapped to the underside of a horse drawn buggy, robbed of all material wealth as a reparation for the harm done to our noble and virtuous reputation.

Yours,
~Jaspar "Shank Him Louis" Kahrdboordebachs~
your local GUMBO representative

By Besmara, what's the fee? What benefits do we get for joining? Can I bring my basilisk to the soiree?

I never knew we got rep, all official-like!

1/5

Vayu Dhatri wrote:
Murderhobo Union Representative wrote:


Please do not use our profession's name as a slur, it only further perpetuates stereotypes and stigmatizes our company, clan, and kin. We are not wanton, uncouth, bloodthirsty brutes who kill ruthlessly and loot the bodies. The Golarion Union of Murderhoboes for the Betterment of Others will not sit and idly take this slander. Failure to cease and desist this defamation will likely end with us dragging you through the streets of Galt while strapped to the underside of a horse drawn buggy, robbed of all material wealth as a reparation for the harm done to our noble and virtuous reputation.

Yours,
~Jaspar "Shank Him Louis" Kahrdboordebachs~
your local GUMBO representative

By Besmara, what's the fee? What benefits do we get for joining? Can I bring my basilisk to the soiree?

I never knew we got rep, all official-like!

As I am on the Air Plane at this time, my ability to retrieve the full written charter is limited. Do not fret though, I shall drive my horse hard to my home as soon as I reach my plane's land again.

Cordially Yours,
~Jaspar "Shank Him Louis" Kahrdboordebachs~
your local GUMBO representative

File not on this hard drive, gotta get it from my home. Will post later tonight.

3/5

DM Beckett wrote:
Actually, if it's the scenario I'm thinking about, you know the one that's specifically designed for brand new players and explicitly has a lot of NPCs sitting there to be on hand to help the Players along with questions and lore like this, I'm tempted to say this is a case of worst DM. :P

Yup, it's that scenario. The only one I've run across with that particular item in it. And yeah, it's a 1-2 scenario, so not impossible for a character to not know about the item and not have a wayfinder in the group.

Silver Crusade Venture-Agent, Florida–Altamonte Springs

NPC: Hey that's ours give it back.

Player: I shoot him.

The NG Druid, NG Barbarian, and Paladin had words with this player after combat.

Scarab Sages

Mosaic wrote:
Chess Pwn wrote:
In one scenario recently we're going in and the people there are like "The aspis came and warned us the Pathfinders were coming, and that they are going to come kill us all and take our prized treasure." The party was all like "No, Pathfinders are the good guys and the Aspis are liars." And then they proceed to kill all the people on sight, one party member attacked a guy as he was introducing himself. Then they went and stole the sacred treasure after killing the chieftain since he wouldn't give it to us. And I'm like, "Yeah, those Aspis agents didn't lie at all"
Totally know which scenario you're talking about. Yeah, that irony wasn't lost on us either. Classic murderhobo.

If that's the scenario I'm thinking of, we actually were able to diplomacy our way out of that one by honoring the sky spirits. It was the later encounter at the river gate that required us to blame the Aspis. We didn't kill the official, just some bodyguards, and they attacked us first. It's not our fault our face rolled a 1 on the diplomacy check.

Grand Lodge 2/5

FLite wrote:
Ran an infiltration scenario a week ago. The PCs were supposed to pretend to be aspis mercs, go in, and earn their trust. Several of the players had to be reminded several times that they were not aspis agents and were there to sabotage the aspis mission, not complete it...

Guilty of that one!

Smoothed things over all across town. Rest of the party had to keep reminding me. Had to hastily add in at the end of all our interactions "Oh yeah! Uh, by the way we're not actually Aspis Consortium. That's why we were nice and stuff. Those Aspis jerks probably would have stabbed you or something."

Dark Archive

"Hi Shiela. Sorry for burning down your house... again."

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