Weird News Stories

[Aberzombie]

Man trapped in ATM slips notes to customers begging for help

[Aberzombie]

British woman didn't know she had 27 contact lenses on one eye

[Aberzombie]

Comatose Ohio State fan responds 'no' when asked if he likes rival Michigan

[The Game Hamster]

Aberzombie wrote:

Comatose Ohio State fan responds 'no' when asked if he likes rival Michigan

It is often hard for me to believe how much of a rivalry exist here between Ohio and Michigan. They absolutely despise each other, so much so that I've had Ohioans tell me that they would rather win against Michigan, and lose the National Championship than to win the said championship and lose against Michigan. That seems bizarre to me.

[Aberzombie]

'Suicidal' security robot 'drowned itself' at Washington office

[Charles Scholz]

It was an accidental drowning, it was trying to get relief from the heat.

[Aberzombie]

Self-described drug dealer calls 911, reports stolen cocaine

[Aberzombie]

Woman steals taxi, picks up paying passengers

[Charles Scholz]

Woman convicted of killing husband on testimony of parrot.

[Aberzombie]

Chinese woman undergoes plastic surgery to evade $3.7 million debt

[Aberzombie]

Naked passenger delays Spirit Airlines flight leaving Las Vegas

[Aberzombie]

Dispute about hedgehog lands South Florida man in jail

[Aberzombie]

Pig headed to auction jumps from trailer onto Washington interstate

[Aberzombie]

Chinese restaurant offering discounts to women with bigger boobs faces backlash

[Set]

Not really a story, but one of those stories upthread also linked to this picture, of Shub-Niggurath's pet goat.

[Aberzombie]

Florida family finds 6-foot boa constrictor that had been living in attic for years

[Aberzombie]

World's highest sandcastle built in German city

[Aberzombie]

Massachusetts library asks residents to refrain from paying late fees with Chuck E. Cheese tokens

[Aberzombie]

Mexico breaks world record with 3-tonne guacamole

[Aberzombie]

British man calls 911 after Tinder date gets stuck in window trying to grab discarded feces

[Corsario]

17th-century nun’s 'letter from the Devil' finally decoded

[Aberzombie]

Orc Dave!!! All he's missing are the little blue birds in his beard.

[Aberzombie]

Mom deployed Taser on son to wake him up for church, court docs say

So glad my mom didn't have access to such technology when I was a kid.

[Charles Scholz]

Vikings Cheated at Dice Rolling

This one had 3, 4, 4, 5, 5, 6 on it.

[Aberzombie]

Authorities dismantle car engine to rescue baby raccoons

[Corsario]

Rat gets into ATM, shreds nearly $20,000

[Charles Scholz]

Lions kill and eat rhino poachers!

[The Mad Comrade]

Charles Scholz wrote:

Lions kill and eat rhino poachers!

"Them rhinos is OUR eats!" omnomnom

"Meh, not bad. 5/10, would devour alive again."

[Aberzombie]

Man finds snake eating his wife's lingerie in bedroom

[Aberzombie]

12 camels disqualified from Saudi beauty contest in 'Botox' row

When I heard this on the radio, I thought it had to be a joke. Then I checked a couple different news websites.....

[Aberzombie]

Egyptian zoo accused of painting donkey to look like zebra

[Aberzombie]

Suspects confess to swiping shark from San Antonio Aquarium in baby stroller

[Charles Scholz]

Police Rescue Man Being Chased By Baby Squirrel

[Aberzombie]

Harlem Globetrotter sinks shot from airplane over New Jersey

[Aberzombie]

Market shut down for putting googly eyes on fish to make them look ‘fresher,’ report says.

[Aberzombie]

Mum’s nursery rhyme nightmares solved by late-night crack team

Great idea for a security system.

[Charles Scholz]

Snake with overbite gets braces

[Aberzombie]

Massachusetts woman unleashed swarm of bees on deputies serving eviction notice, police say

[90s Simpsons Referotron]

Aberzombie wrote:

Massachusetts woman unleashed swarm of bees on deputies serving eviction notice, police say

At least it wasn't dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you...

[Charles Scholz]

Cabin Pressure Causes Back of Woman's Head to Explode

[quibblemuch]

This is what people get for flying Cronenberg Air. Predictable, really.

[Aberzombie]

Texas homeowner says 'hooker' ghosts have taken over rental property: 'They're trying to stir up business'

[DungeonmasterCal]

I love this stuff...lol

[Aberzombie]

Bird Assumed To Be Extinct Reappears After 140 Years

I just wish the article had gone into more detail on the “run-in with pirates” part. Seriously, you can’t just tease us with that kind of stuff.

[Aberzombie]

Former pro boxer fakes his own murder after wife hires hitman

[Aberzombie]

Vikings accidentally salute porn star in moment meant for military members

[Aberzombie]

Beatles cassette returned to Texas library was 44 years overdue

[Quibblemuch Haderach]

Meta makes machine in likeness of human mind. Humans unimpressed.

[DungeonmasterCal]

I love these things.

[Charles Scholz]

Woman goes viral for making recipes from gravestones, says ‘they’re to die for’