Most Macho Way to Die


Gamer Life General Discussion

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LazarX wrote:
Bob Bob Bob wrote:
Beating skeletons to death with an M16.
That's not macho, that's just a sign that you didn't pack enough ammo!

Don't they have DR Piercing? I feel there's not enough normal sized ammunition in the world to take care of that?


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The Indescribable wrote:
LazarX wrote:
Bob Bob Bob wrote:
Beating skeletons to death with an M16.
That's not macho, that's just a sign that you didn't pack enough ammo!
Don't they have DR Piercing? I feel there's not enough normal sized ammunition in the world to take care of that?

Firearms deal B and P. Skelly DR don't do diddly against rifle rounds.


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Most of these posts are discussing valour.

Definition of Macho:

Male who cannot "lose face" in front of his friends or women. Most macho men have the emotional range of a teaspoon and have enough empathy to fill the ink tube in a pen.

Shadow Lodge

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Dying of testosterone poisoning, without supplements.


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Proclaim a manly 1 on 1 bare knuckle boxing duel with a ruffian that has soiled the honor of you, your family, or you friends (or provoke said duel by becoming a ruffian who had soiled the honor of another, their family, or their friends), that is to take place on a worn down rickety 3 foot wide rope bridge that precariously hangs over an active volcano or other large precipice of which a fall would inevitably lead to either party's demise (bonus points if the valley is full of pointy stalagmites), then duke it out shirtless because if your body isn't a perfectly sculpted statue of muscle you're not manly enough.

I don't think you can go wrong with bare knuckle boxing.


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Bare knuckle pugilism/boxing a dragon to death, wearing naught by your loincloth. (Fortunately, your body hair doubles rather nicely as a natural armor bonus.) How do you die? When the clinging naptha-like material burns the last of your many manly body hairs off. Checking out as nekkid as the day you were born. ;)

" Each hair is a hit point. When the last of them are no more, I shall die. I have a lot of hair. "

Silver Crusade

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Going out like Edward "Whitebeard" Newgate ... still on your feet and with no scars on your back.

Spoiler:
It should be noted that at the moment of his death, he had taken about 267 sword wounds, 152 gunshot wounds, 46 wounds from cannonballs, and gotten half of his face blasted off, resulting in 465 injuries in total. In addition, Whitebeard had been on the receiving end of Kizaru's laser beams and Akainu's two magma blasts. And even after taking so much damage in his already weakened state by Balckbeard's crew, he died standing, an impressive feat when compared to other characters.


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Strangling a pit fiend to death, snapping its neck, and then dying in its death throes.


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Kthulhu wrote:
Dying of testosterone poisoning, without supplements.

Did you know if you take too much creatine, you can get blood poisoning from the crazy levels of protein (that seeps into your blood)? Hammer thrower I knew had it. Doctor was quite adamant he should stop those supplements immediately.


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Killing Cthulu from within while slowly being digested and just not carrying as you carve away.


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Standing on a charging, fire breathing draft horse, shredding on an electric guitar, as the horse leaps off a cliff, into the mouth of the biggest baddest dragon in the land right as it's about to breathe out it's attack, then using the guitar to beat a hole in the dragon's esophagus and tearing the dragon's heart to pieces with your bare hands.

The death comes from being at the epicenter of the explosion triggered by pure awesome.

Shadow Lodge

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Fireball centered on yourself to get rid of that pesky swarm.


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Ride a dracolich into midair. Kill it and die from the fall.


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Merck wrote:
Fireball centered on yourself to get rid of that pesky swarm.

Please I've done worse than that and survived.


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One of my players tried to stop, drop and roll on a spider swarm to save the rest of the party, but he didn't actually die from it. He got poisoned pretty badly and had to be force-fed a potion of cure moderate wounds though.

Shadow Lodge

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Lieutenant Paladine wrote:

** spoiler omitted **

** spoiler omitted **...

It's only a flesh wound.

Silver Crusade

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The volcanic mountain is about to erupt. Your party is helping a village located on the thought to be dormant mountain evacuate as quickly as you can. You come upon the ancient bridge that was the last way for everyone to escape. But alas, the ropes had become frayed, the structure weakened, as the earth had begun to shake. Seeing no other option, you rush to the center of the bridge, wrapping the ropes around both arms you do the only thing you can to keep the bridge stable.

You flex.

Muscles bulging to their limit, sweat beading down your head, across your bare chest, a puddle forming at your feet. over 1000 villagers cross, many elderly or infirm, as you flex, quoting to all that pass by "This is what it means to be a man!".

The lava is quickly coming, you can see it, but the last of the villagers makes it across. The rest of your party is yelling, hurry and cross!

You turn and look, giving them a smile. Your arms have long since broken yet still you Flex. "It seems it's time that I go teach the gods what it means to be a man." The very mountain erupts as your arms finally give out, ripping you in half sending you falling into the ravine as lava pours down around you. Yet the last expression on your face as it's consumed, the same macho smile you've always worn.

Or at least that's my suggestion.


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That's good stuff, Xzaral!

Liberty's Edge

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A real man would have survived that you wuss.

Sovereign Court

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Chase the bad guy while wearing Acme rocket propelled roller skates, over shoot bad guy, run out of rocket fuel 30 feet past cliff edge, fall to death waving a Yikes! Sign.


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marcryser wrote:
kyrt-ryder wrote:

Is it possible for the GM to incorporate a succubus into the final encounter?

Nothing more manly than death by kiss.

This is manly ONLY if the succubus dies also or repents of her evil ways to become a nun.

Driving a succubus to become a nun isn't exactly manly. Now driving her to say, "It could never be better than that! I'll marry you!" is manly.

Sovereign Court

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Charge the Aztec god summoning a new Aztecy plane of existence into being, carrying the both of you into its evil human sacrificing ways.


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Jaelithe wrote:
marcryser wrote:
kyrt-ryder wrote:

Is it possible for the GM to incorporate a succubus into the final encounter?

Nothing more manly than death by kiss.

This is manly ONLY if the succubus dies also or repents of her evil ways to become a nun.
Driving a succubus to become a nun isn't exactly manly. Now driving her to say, "It could never be better than that! I'll marry you!" is manly.

Now all I can think of is Sinner and Pretty Poison from the Nightside series. The man who sold his soul for true love, then after ten years when the devil collected he found out his wife was a succubus. He never stopped loving her, and after a while the Devil set him free back on Earth because he couldn't be broken... Pretty Poison followed him to Earth, supposedly to tempt him into falling back to Hell, but his love is too pure for it, and she seems to genuinely love him too. Of course, he sold his soul, so he can't go to Heaven, and the Devil can't take him, so he's functionally immortal, as well as being pretty much immune to magic. So he spends all his time in the Nightside, and has been there so long that people have forgotten his name and just call him the Sinner.

Now that's a man.


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There's always this scene from Aliens.

Or this scene from Reign of Fire.


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Jaelithe wrote:
marcryser wrote:
kyrt-ryder wrote:

Is it possible for the GM to incorporate a succubus into the final encounter?

Nothing more manly than death by kiss.

This is manly ONLY if the succubus dies also or repents of her evil ways to become a nun.
Driving a succubus to become a nun isn't exactly manly. Now driving her to say, "It could never be better than that! I'll marry you!" is manly.

in some cultures, that's exactly what she is doing by becoming a nun.


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It's third party and I don't remember the name of it, but there's a feat that lets an alchemist self destruct with all of their remaining bombs for that day.


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HyperMissingno wrote:
It's third party and I don't remember the name of it, but there's a feat that lets an alchemist self destruct with all of their remaining bombs for that day.

Suicide Bomber. Kobold Press is generally one that I have little trouble with.


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The most important thing about a macho death is not the means, but the why. Attacking Asmodeus because he insulted your mother, macho - being seduced by a succubus while out buying scented candles, not macho.

If nothing else presents itself, a good macho reason to die is to protect innocents (in a silly campaign they don't have to real innocents).

As to the how, having a wizard turn you into a statue as you drop on the BBEG just isn't macho. Quaffing a potion of petrification and turning yourself into a statue as drop on the BBEG is macho. The difference, a macho man is self-reliant and not some wuss who needs a stinkin' wizard to turn him into a statue. It might be heroic to have others help you, but it isn't macho. Unless the stinkin' wizard in question is an evil wizard who you've managed to beat into submission, in which case they can be considered part of your equipment and not a real person.


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cnetarian wrote:

The most important thing about a macho death is not the means, but the why. Attacking Asmodeus because he insulted your mother, macho - being seduced by a succubus while out buying scented candles, not macho.

If nothing else presents itself, a good macho reason to die is to protect innocents (in a silly campaign they don't have to real innocents).

As to the how, having a wizard turn you into a statue as you drop on the BBEG just isn't macho. Quaffing a potion of petrification and turning yourself into a statue as drop on the BBEG is macho. The difference, a macho man is self-reliant and not some wuss who needs a stinkin' wizard to turn him into a statue. It might be heroic to have others help you, but it isn't macho. Unless the stinkin' wizard in question is an evil wizard who you've managed to beat into submission, in which case they can be considered part of your equipment and not a real person.

bonus points if your manhood impales the bbeg in some humiliating fashion.


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cnetarian wrote:
The difference, a macho man is self-reliant and not some wuss who needs a stinkin' wizard to turn him into a statue.

Nah. He just needs the wizard who created the potion to turn him into a statue.

"Self-reliant" is relative.

And it can be macho if the others helping you are also macho ... and each one of you thinks you're in charge, with the others just there as backup.


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Someone casts bull's strength on him. His spine is crushed beneath the weight of his bulging muscles.


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Kobold Cleaver wrote:
Someone casts bull's strength on him. His spine is crushed beneath the weight of his bulging muscles.

Someone sais some strange words, and tells the macho man he cast bull's strength on him. He fails the sense motive, and believes it. He then flexes his muscles and crushes his spine merely by believing he is stronger. Meanwhile, the charlatan collects his bounty for killing the too macho man in the way of a certain wizard.

/cevah

Grand Lodge

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Pathfinder PF Special Edition, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Freehold DM wrote:
Jaelithe wrote:
marcryser wrote:
kyrt-ryder wrote:

Is it possible for the GM to incorporate a succubus into the final encounter?

Nothing more manly than death by kiss.

This is manly ONLY if the succubus dies also or repents of her evil ways to become a nun.
Driving a succubus to become a nun isn't exactly manly. Now driving her to say, "It could never be better than that! I'll marry you!" is manly.
in some cultures, that's exactly what she is doing by becoming a nun.

My friends PC in our Wrath of Righteous campaign just got an "I'd rather be friends" note from the resident succubus. Never seen a character more depressed.


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LazarX wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
Jaelithe wrote:
marcryser wrote:
kyrt-ryder wrote:

Is it possible for the GM to incorporate a succubus into the final encounter?

Nothing more manly than death by kiss.

This is manly ONLY if the succubus dies also or repents of her evil ways to become a nun.
Driving a succubus to become a nun isn't exactly manly. Now driving her to say, "It could never be better than that! I'll marry you!" is manly.
in some cultures, that's exactly what she is doing by becoming a nun.
My friends PC in our Wrath of Righteous campaign just got an "I'd rather be friends" note from the resident succubus. Never seen a character more depressed.

OUCH

I'd consider ending it all in the face of that level of rejection.


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This actually happened in a friend's campaign, where they were battling the BBEG at the top of a tower. They were getting royal spanked and on the verge of a TPK. The humble monk, realizing that they wouldn't be able to defeat him, decides to grapple the BBEG, pin him, and then launches the both of them off the edge. The fall instantly killed both of them, but the monk sacrificed himself to ensure victory. Awesome.


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Depending on the rules in play,that might be worth giving him a spark of divinity.


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Take a page out of one of the worst nazi scumbags' playbook and do a Josef Terboven.

He was the Reichskommissar for Norway and a thoroughly despiccable character in every conceivable sense of the word (he once tried to obtain permission to arbitrarily execute 10.000 randomly selected Norwegians as payback for a particularly effective piece of railroad sabotage committed by the Norwegian resistance).

When the war was finally lost, Terboven grabbed the corpse of his chief of police, a bottle of alcohol and a 50 kilo box of dynamite, and went to his tiny airraid shelter in the garden of his headquarters, where he sat down on the box, with the corpse at his feet, drinking the entire bottle of alcohol and then pressing the detonator.

Due to the compression of force within the bunker, he was struck not only by the initial explosion (which would certainly have killed him outright) but by every rebound from every wall, from the ceiling and the floor as the force of the blast ricocheted back and forth many times.

He was thusly one of only a handful of people who can truthfully be said to have been blown to pieces more than once.

Couldn't have happened to a more deserving guy either.


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The Alkenstarian wrote:

Take a page out of one of the worst nazi scumbags' playbook and do a Josef Terboven.

He was the Reichskommissar for Norway and a thoroughly despiccable character in every conceivable sense of the word (he once tried to obtain permission to arbitrarily execute 10.000 randomly selected Norwegians as payback for a particularly effective piece of railroad sabotage committed by the Norwegian resistance).

When the war was finally lost, Terboven grabbed the corpse of his chief of police, a bottle of alcohol and a 50 kilo box of dynamite, and went to his tiny airraid shelter in the garden of his headquarters, where he sat down on the box, with the corpse at his feet, drinking the entire bottle of alcohol and then pressing the detonator.

Due to the compression of force within the bunker, he was struck not only by the initial explosion (which would certainly have killed him outright) but by every rebound from every wall, from the ceiling and the floor as the force of the blast ricocheted back and forth many times.

He was thusly one of only a handful of people who can truthfully be said to have been blown to pieces more than once.

Couldn't have happened to a more deserving guy either.

Admirably thorough.


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The Alkenstarian wrote:
Couldn't have happened to a more deserving guy either.

Reminds of a line from, I believe, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

"Kill him a lot!"


Agreed

Sovereign Court

Get smote by a god because you slayed his right hand man, 10 solar angels, 10 balors, an army o kobold (no less that 10M), and all while being a wizard with only 10 str, lvl 1, using only a longsword and keeping your Lawful good alignment.

And swinging only once


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Grab a Balor by the horns


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Swing that Demon to and fro, where you die, no one knows

Grand Lodge

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Pathfinder PF Special Edition, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
The Alkenstarian wrote:

Take a page out of one of the worst nazi scumbags' playbook and do a Josef Terboven.

He was the Reichskommissar for Norway and a thoroughly despiccable character in every conceivable sense of the word (he once tried to obtain permission to arbitrarily execute 10.000 randomly selected Norwegians as payback for a particularly effective piece of railroad sabotage committed by the Norwegian resistance).

When the war was finally lost, Terboven grabbed the corpse of his chief of police, a bottle of alcohol and a 50 kilo box of dynamite, and went to his tiny airraid shelter in the garden of his headquarters, where he sat down on the box, with the corpse at his feet, drinking the entire bottle of alcohol and then pressing the detonator.

Due to the compression of force within the bunker, he was struck not only by the initial explosion (which would certainly have killed him outright) but by every rebound from every wall, from the ceiling and the floor as the force of the blast ricocheted back and forth many times.

He was thusly one of only a handful of people who can truthfully be said to have been blown to pieces more than once.

Couldn't have happened to a more deserving guy either.

He got off too easily. He should have lived to have been tried, forced to face and be condemned by his accusers and then either have been shot or imprisoned for life like Hess.


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the rasputin: Get poisoned with cyanide, shot, stabbed, thrown in a frozen lake, drown, climb out die of exposure... and then his body sat up when they tried to cremate him JUST to freak out the morticians. It took death SIX "do overs" to bring him down.

Choke a monster to death. From the inside.

Dragging orphans out of a burning orphanage.

Throwing someone out of an explosion

Wrestling a polar bear.

Holding up a mine shaft so others can escape

Pulling yourself down a spear to stab the guy holding it

Suplexing someone off the top rope.. of a bridge.


Party loses a battle with the guards, becomes enchained and is presented to the evil queen. Queen talks about how futile their resistance is and how she is going to rule the world, becoming more excited with every word. Macho bursts his chains in rage, tells the queen 'YOU TALK TOO MUCH', throws her over one shoulder, breaks through a wall and carries her to his cave. Dies from exhaustion a few days later.

This is one of the rare occassions where a surprise round is longer than 6 seconds.

Grand Lodge

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Pathfinder PF Special Edition, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
BigNorseWolf wrote:

the rasputin: Get poisoned with cyanide, shot, stabbed, thrown in a frozen lake, drown, climb out die of exposure... and then his body sat up when they tried to cremate him JUST to freak out the morticians. It took death SIX "do overs" to bring him down.

It's a colorful legend but the facts are a bit more prosaic. Essentially one of the conspirators first got Rasputin drunk, Russian... not a really hard task to do. Once the monk was throughly plastered, Yusupov shot him twice, and then left the room. However Rasputin was still alive, and he regained consciousness apparently realizing his predicament, and started making for the gate. He was intercepted by another conspirator, Purishkevich who shot at him four times, missing 3 of the shots, but one of the bullets hit his spine and brought him down again for the last time. The dying Rasputin was then brought inside. One of the conspirators hit Rasputin with his shoe, and when he twitched, shot him again, although at this point the earlier two shots which had hit would have resulted in death in about 10 or 20 mins.

They were pretty amateurish about disposing of the body, electing to simply throw it into an ice-hole in the Malaya Nevka River. They drove back, without noticing that one of Rasputin's galoshes, a rubber boot (size 10), was stuck between the pylons of the bridge. Unfortunately for the plotters his coat "formed an air bell" and the corpse drifted into an ice mass; it prevented the body’s disposal into the sea.

In short Rasputin took that much effort to kill, not because he was so tough, but his assassins were that incompetent.


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Hey, your reign of winter campaign happened one way and mine another.

Grand Lodge

Pathfinder PF Special Edition, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
BigNorseWolf wrote:
Hey, your reign of winter campaign happened one way and mine another.

Last year, I prepped the Herolab encounter files for my spouse who ran that PFS sanctioned segment at Origins.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 16

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The campaign ended when our pactbinder stabbed a highly explosive artifact made of solidified evil in order to stop the Big Bad from obtaining it in the next round of combat and becoming a demigoddess. The explosion completely obliterated everyone in the battle, collapsed the dungeon, and ushered a massive spire of light that you could see from space. Thanks to a scroll of clone I found prior in the campaign, I was the only survivor. I inherited a castle and spent the rest of my days searching for a way to bring back my comrades while telling people of their fate. All nations of the land declared us venerated heroes to live on in legends for centuries to come.

Roll credits.

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