If We Did in Real Life What We Do In Pathfinder


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Why don't we make a list of how things would work out if we did things our characters do in real life? For example:

A group of heavily-armed people walk into a bank...

Liberty's Edge

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Pathfinder Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

As the GM, I would control and administer reality. I don't think that would go well for anybody. Even Cosmo.


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"You see a mysterious figure standing beside the bridge, he petitions to join your party..."

"You seem trustworthy!"


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I know a guy who takes off and puts on his Mask of Stony Demeanor depending on whether he needs to lie. I'd love to see that play out in real life.

Go to neighbor's house, check for the door for traps, check to see if the door is unlocked, barge in with weapon drawn.

Cemetery? JACKPOT! I pull out my crowbar and pry open the tomb door.

Bashes the corpses at funerals with a mace just to make sure.


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Serisan wrote:

I know a guy who takes off and puts on his Mask of Stony Demeanor depending on whether he needs to lie. I'd love to see that play out in real life.

Go to neighbor's house, check for the door for traps, check to see if the door is unlocked, barge in with weapon drawn.

Cemetery? JACKPOT! I pull out my crowbar and pry open the tomb door.

Bashes the corpses at funerals with a mace just to make sure.

That's awesome! Exactly what I'm looking for!

A group of strangely dressed people open a manhole cover, and climb down to explore...


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Road Rage takes on a whole new meaning when you get out your long sword. But you don't have to worry because your friend in the car behind you has a scroll of raise dead!


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Choose your weapon.

Silver Crusade

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You'd be spectacularly patient.

PC: "Let's just wait around here until...when did he say he'd be back?"
PC2: "Nine hours from now."
*both stare off into space*


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ShallowHammer wrote:
A group of strangely dressed people open a manhole cover, and climb down to explore...

Did this in the 80s on my college campus... strangely dressed? Well, it was the 80s.

RPG Superstar 2011 Top 8

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My cats believe in the 15 minute adventuring day.


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Four strangely dressed people stand in front of the door to the restaurant, waiting for one of them to open the door, waiting, waiting, waiting...


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I'd go to work and furiously do as much as I can in the first fifteen minutes, then tell the boss I'm tired and have to go home and recuperate. "But don't worry, I'll be back tomorrow working just as hard."

Silver Crusade

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You see a guy get hit by a truck and sit there for about two minutes chugging strange substances from bottles, while his friend complains that they should just sell the bottles and his friend 'doesn't need to top off.'


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Terquem wrote:
Four strangely dressed people stand in front of the door to the restaurant, waiting for one of them to open the door, waiting, waiting, waiting...

After 10 minutes, one of them whispers "yep, definitely no traps here" before kicking the door in.


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Barges into Buckingham palace in outlandish clothes. "Sup your majesty. Got anything you need taken care of?"


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-Three oddly dressed men keep petitioning a confused catholic priest to accept a handfull of diamond dust in return for raising their friend from the dead.

-At the first sign of a barfight breaking out, draws a sword and starts slicing people until they're bleeding unconscious on the ground. When asked about this behavior, he responds "I don't do non-lethal damage."


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Striking up casual conversation.

Real Person "What's you're name"
Character "John."
Real Person "Do you have a last name?"
Character "No."
Real Person "Oh, that's usual, where are you from?"
Character "I don't know, what's this place called?"
Real Person "America"
Character "I'm from Amerinca then."
Real Person "Ok, well what do you then?"
Character "I doing a job for...who is the leader here?"
Real Person "President Obama?"
Character "I'm doing a job for President Obooba" *snickers to self* "The GM comes up with such dumb names for his character."


Bob. Bo-b. B-ob. (Etc.)

EDIT: for clarity: the above conversation by DM_Kumo Gekkou just really reminded me of the Bob character from House Rulez for some reason. That is all. :D


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Walking into a crowded bar wearing a hooded cloak believing no one will pay attention to them.

Sovereign Court

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If we did in real life what we do in Pathfinder (or most RPGs for that matter), I think there would be a whole lot of charges, including:

  • murder (from killing all those orcs, goblins, and mooks)
  • attempted murder (from not killing all those orcs, goblins, and mooks that managed to get away)
  • robbery (from looting all the orc, goblin, and mook bodies that did not get away)
  • grave desecration (from the various crypts, etc that we fought the undead in ...)
  • grave robbing (... and then looted)
  • arson (from use of alchemist fire, burning hands, scorching rays, and the ever popular fireballs)
  • brandishing weapons (because that's what you do with weapons ...)
  • possession of unregistered firearms (for all those gunslinger PCs)
  • discharging of firearms in a public place (again for all those gunslinger PCs)
  • drunk and disorderly (for drunken master, halfling, dwarf, and followers of Cayden Cailean PCs)
  • resisting arrest (because when was the last time your PC went along quietly)

It would be the trial of the century. ;)


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I've engaged in staring contests with every cat at the shelter, but none of them have given me any spells per day. I'll find my familiar eventually.

Liberty's Edge

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Pathfinder Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
zylphryx wrote:

If we did in real life what we do in Pathfinder (or most RPGs for that matter), I think there would be a whole lot of charges, including:

  • murder (from killing all those orcs, goblins, and mooks)
  • attempted murder (from not killing all those orcs, goblins, and mooks that managed to get away)
  • robbery (from looting all the orc, goblin, and mook bodies that did not get away)
  • grave desecration (from the various crypts, etc that we fought the undead in ...)
  • grave robbing (... and then looted)
  • arson (from use of alchemist fire, burning hands, scorching rays, and the ever popular fireballs)
  • brandishing weapons (because that's what you do with weapons ...)
  • possession of unregistered firearms (for all those gunslinger PCs)
  • discharging of firearms in a public place (again for all those gunslinger PCs)
  • drunk and disorderly (for drunken master, halfling, dwarf, and followers of Cayden Cailean PCs)
  • resisting arrest (because when was the last time your PC went along quietly)

It would be the trial of the century. ;)

The bolded one puzzles me. Your PCs let mooks get away rather than hunting them down and slaughtering them, and anyone in the vicinity "just in case"? Truly gaming takes all kinds. :-)


zylphryx wrote:

If we did in real life what we do in Pathfinder (or most RPGs for that matter), I think there would be a whole lot of charges, including:

  • murder (from killing all those orcs, goblins, and mooks)
  • attempted murder (from not killing all those orcs, goblins, and mooks that managed to get away)
  • robbery (from looting all the orc, goblin, and mook bodies that did not get away)
  • grave desecration (from the various crypts, etc that we fought the undead in ...)
  • grave robbing (... and then looted)
  • arson (from use of alchemist fire, burning hands, scorching rays, and the ever popular fireballs)
  • brandishing weapons (because that's what you do with weapons ...)
  • possession of unregistered firearms (for all those gunslinger PCs)
  • discharging of firearms in a public place (again for all those gunslinger PCs)
  • drunk and disorderly (for drunken master, halfling, dwarf, and followers of Cayden Cailean PCs)
  • resisting arrest (because when was the last time your PC went along quietly)

It would be the trial of the century. ;)

Most of these make little sense.

- at least my players tend to be the good guys so while they may commit murder and assault it will likely end in charges of vigilantism... Any bad guys who ran will likely also be facing charges.

- in some cases my PCs are agents of the Law, in which case that infamous blue wall where police protect their own would prevent any murder or assault charges.

- robbery would likely go unpunished as well. Since there are not likely to be any survivors who would press charges, being criminals themselves.

- grave desecration is NOT what would be on peoples lips if there were undead crawling out of those graves. The PCs would likely be heroes... unless they started looting the dead, then yes they would likely face charges if caught.

- In a modern society my players would likely register their weapons and be legally agents of some authority or otherwise allowed to carry them in public. The few who aren't would be good at concealment.

- I don't believe I have had any PCs in any setting who committed drunk and disorderly or resisting arrest offenses.


As far as the topic is concerned...

I did have one player character who went around introducing himself as an assassin for hire. But then this probably got him into just as much trouble in the fantasy game as it would in real life.

I guess the biggest weirdness would be them running around town heavily armed and armored and expecting no one to notice.


Aranna wrote:

As far as the topic is concerned...

I did have one player character who went around introducing himself as an assassin for hire. But then this probably got him into just as much trouble in the fantasy game as it would in real life.

I guess the biggest weirdness would be them running around town heavily armed and armored and expecting no one to notice.

Really? As long as you're armed and armored in a genre appropriate fashion, you should be fine.

Okay, armor is little less common, but bulletproof vests can be fairly inconspicuous under clothing.


thejeff wrote:
Aranna wrote:

As far as the topic is concerned...

I did have one player character who went around introducing himself as an assassin for hire. But then this probably got him into just as much trouble in the fantasy game as it would in real life.

I guess the biggest weirdness would be them running around town heavily armed and armored and expecting no one to notice.

Really? As long as you're armed and armored in a genre appropriate fashion, you should be fine.

Okay, armor is little less common, but bulletproof vests can be fairly inconspicuous under clothing.

Ok have you seen the levels of arms and armor a PC wears? In a real life setting these people would be doing their daily business in full swat gear and bristling with advanced weapons and equipment. Sure as Federal agents they can get away with it... but I know I would be shocked at someone dressed like that walking into a shop or restaurant.


As far as the open carry link: Most of the country considers it illegal to open carry unless you are an officer or agent of the government. And even some places where it is legal to open carry (like my home state of Michigan) you will still be arrested for doing so. You will probably either be held and released with a warning or charged with disturbing the peace.

I think maybe only in Texas or Arizona can you open carry and the police won't care. Hmmm also probably states like Montana or Wyoming would view open carry without concern.


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I'd be concerned enough to live in a country where 'open carry' was a term that needed to be invented. :o


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ShallowHammer wrote:
Why don't we make a list of how things would work out if we did things our characters do in real life?

So. Many. STDs.


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I'd also be in pretty bad shape, digestively speaking, from going a few months without squatting a deuce. That can't be good for you.


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Pathfinder Maps, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Maps, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

I agree that being so heavily armed and armored would be of concern in many contemporary nations, yet it would be perfectly acceptable in countries that suffer coups and conflict regularly.

We also don't have to worry about necromancers, dragons, carnivorous gelatin, or even animated clothing that strangles people. Sentient beings in Pathfinder worlds are paranoid for good reason, many towns I find are just not paranoid enough considering what one finds as random encounters.

If my regular life had a random encounter table like Pathfinder (you encounter....2 Xill while driving to work today) - you bet I'd be armed to the teeth and modify my car and home like it was Road Warrior.


Aranna wrote:

As far as the open carry link: Most of the country considers it illegal to open carry unless you are an officer or agent of the government. And even some places where it is legal to open carry (like my home state of Michigan) you will still be arrested for doing so. You will probably either be held and released with a warning or charged with disturbing the peace.

I think maybe only in Texas or Arizona can you open carry and the police won't care. Hmmm also probably states like Montana or Wyoming would view open carry without concern.

There's actually more states than you think that allow open carry. Texas isn't currently one of them. I know it's not what you picture when you think of the south.

Hell California allows open carry. That being said there is a big difference between openly carrying a pistol on your hip, and walking around in what would be equivalent to what the swat team wears to raid a house.

So the simple fact of going everywhere armed would be nuts.


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I do have to admit, it would certainly help my personal faith if I could call a spell or two down from heaven.

Even a create water would be nice. Surely I've got the wisdom to pull THAT off at least?

What would Jesus do when you threaten my family? I'm not sure, but Elijah is in the same book, so I think my God would be okay if I called down a flame strike.

Yeah. Pretty sure I'd go into organized religion. Love me some Jesus, but Jesus AND plane shifting? Oh, I'll take that, thanks.

I guess I'd heal some people. You know, keep Tacticslion and the other Inquisitors off my back. :-P


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Quote:
What would Jesus do when you threaten my family? I'm not sure, but Elijah is in the same book, so I think my God would be okay if I called down a flame strike.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! This needs to be a T-Shirt. "I don't know what Jesus would do, but I know what Elijah would do. BURN THEM ALL."


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thegreenteagamer wrote:
Tacticslion and the other Inquisitors

I... I'm an inquisitor?! I... I think I've been doing it wrong...


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Tacticslion wrote:
thegreenteagamer wrote:
Tacticslion and the other Inquisitors
I... I'm an inquisitor?! I... I think I've been doing it wrong...
Tacticslion's Profile wrote:
I'm totally a Meddler. In everything. An artifact of my... well, no, I'm just a Meddler.

Ifso facto...


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thegreenteagamer wrote:
Tacticslion and the other Inquisitors
Tacticslion wrote:
I... I'm an inquisitor?! I... I think I've been doing it wrong...
Tacticslion's Profile wrote:
I'm totally a Meddler. In everything. An artifact of my... well, no, I'm just a Meddler.
thegreenteagamer wrote:
Ifso facto...

... eh, I'd likely chalk that up to bard or investigator (sans alchemy, 'cause cooking ain't* my forte), rather than inquisitor. But that's just my guess. :)

(I've still probably been doing it wrong, but in a different way.)

* I am so, so, sorry to all my English teachers and my mom.


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That's just what an inquisitor trying to hide the fact that he was an inquisitor would say.

I know what you're up to, TL. You don't like my chaos all up in this place. Well, I'm still within one alignment of The Big Guy! (Him being NG - And I will derail like an AmTrack in the 90s to defend that if you try to insist on Lawful.)


*ain't is currently found in the majority of English dictionaries as a colloquialism or slang. Language is a constantly evolving thing. Your tired archaic rules have no place here.

CHAOS!!!!!

...but even I have my limits. If a second grader can figure out the difference between your and you're, two and too and to, or any other homophone...And the majority of them can, I know because I used to teach in an elementary school... a grown adult should be able to. That's not a matter of grammatical rule, but pride in your personal intellect and clarity of conveyance.

I'm breaking my own self-imposed two posts per derail limit pretty hard here today.

Because CHAOS!!!!!


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thegreenteagamer wrote:
...but even I have my limits. If a second grader can figure out the difference between your and you're, two and too and to, or any other homophobe...

I actually think it is quite important to educate young children on the existence of bigotry, so right on!

EDIT: Too slow, buddy. Too slow by half.


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Never, ever, ever taking off all those belts, sashes, headbands, rings, and cloaks (not mention the armour that everyone sleeps in 24/7) would certainly make bathing/showering, going to the beach, sex, and a whole raft of others things a totally different experience.

Masseur: Can I get you to take off this belt...? It makes it quite tricky to get to your lower back.

RL PC: Sorry, but you never know when those random encounters are going to happen. Actually, can you pass me that axe please? Just do the best you can. I'll throw in an extra platinum or two.


Kobold Cleaver wrote:
thegreenteagamer wrote:
...but even I have my limits. If a second grader can figure out the difference between your and you're, two and too and to, or any other homophobe...

I actually think it is quite important to educate young children on the existence of bigotry, so right on!

EDIT: Too slow, buddy. Too slow by half.

Autocorrect - Chaotic Evil to the core.

Sovereign Court

Paul Watson wrote:
zylphryx wrote:

If we did in real life what we do in Pathfinder (or most RPGs for that matter), I think there would be a whole lot of charges, including:

  • murder (from killing all those orcs, goblins, and mooks)
  • attempted murder (from not killing all those orcs, goblins, and mooks that managed to get away)
  • robbery (from looting all the orc, goblin, and mook bodies that did not get away)
  • grave desecration (from the various crypts, etc that we fought the undead in ...)
  • grave robbing (... and then looted)
  • arson (from use of alchemist fire, burning hands, scorching rays, and the ever popular fireballs)
  • brandishing weapons (because that's what you do with weapons ...)
  • possession of unregistered firearms (for all those gunslinger PCs)
  • discharging of firearms in a public place (again for all those gunslinger PCs)
  • drunk and disorderly (for drunken master, halfling, dwarf, and followers of Cayden Cailean PCs)
  • resisting arrest (because when was the last time your PC went along quietly)

It would be the trial of the century. ;)

The bolded one puzzles me. Your PCs let mooks get away rather than hunting them down and slaughtering them, and anyone in the vicinity "just in case"? Truly gaming takes all kinds. :-)

Well, occasionally they just get away. Other times they are let go to "spread the word" about what's coming in order to shake up other mooks. Typically we don't go on the wholesale killing spree I it can be avoided. ;)

Sovereign Court

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Aranna wrote:


Most of these make little sense.

Actually, since the question posed is what would happen if WE did in RL what our PCs do in PF, they make perfect sense. In RL if you kill someone and riffle their pockets for loose change, that's murder an robbery (possibly manslaughter and robbery). If you are not an actual police officer, that blue line does not exist for you. And so on and so on.


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KestrelZ wrote:

I agree that being so heavily armed and armored would be of concern in many contemporary nations, yet it would be perfectly acceptable in countries that suffer coups and conflict regularly.

We also don't have to worry about necromancers, dragons, carnivorous gelatin, or even animated clothing that strangles people. Sentient beings in Pathfinder worlds are paranoid for good reason, many towns I find are just not paranoid enough considering what one finds as random encounters.

If my regular life had a random encounter table like Pathfinder (you encounter....2 Xill while driving to work today) - you bet I'd be armed to the teeth and modify my car and home like it was Road Warrior.

This is really kind of the crux of the whole thing.

Things PCs do in PF/D&D/other fantasy setting games and stories are ludicrous in juxtaposition with real life because the constant looming threat of large-scale harm is not - usually - hanging over the heads of real-world players from hour to hour like it is in a fantasy setting.

If those things DID exist in the real world, carrying around all that stuff and taking all those actions would be more justified, if adjusted slightly for other changes the additions/subtractions would have made to history - whether we'd still be stuck in feudal-esque pseudo-medieval reality due to needing little to know technological advancement in the face of magic or having magitek be a thing and that completely changing the course of modernization, in contrast to things being more modern but still fantastical in the vein of something like Shadowrun.


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*Four AK-47 wielding civilians in SWAT gear walk into a bar.

"Hey everybody! Need anyone killed?"


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/thread

Just kidding. This thread rules and needs to continue.


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I'm glad this took off. Here's another one:

A group of heavily-armed strangers walk into a library and start doing research using the oldest books in the place....what do the other people in the library do/think?


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ShallowHammer wrote:

I'm glad this took off. Here's another one:

A group of heavily-armed strangers walk into a library and start doing research using the oldest books in the place....what do the other people in the library do/think?

"What the hell is a martial doing here? Maybe he's a magus...?"

Sovereign Court

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Hard core treasure hunters?

Grad students who take their studies waaay to seriously?

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