Announcement - Free Settlers No Longer Free


Pathfinder Online

Goblin Squad Member

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It is with a heavy heart that I inform you that due to the potential terrorist threats posed by other settlements, in order to ensure the survival of The Free Settlers, I will be taking a firmer hand in leading the Company. Specifically, for their own safety, all members, instead of being free and equal citizens with voting rights on company policy, will be part of an intricate caste system. So join the Free Settlers if you wish to play as:

- A slave.

- An indentured servant.

- A serf.

There is a possibility for advancement in the ranks for those who work particularly hard, however. Especially skilled crafters with lots of recipes will have the option (at my sole discretion) of becoming minimum wage workers. Note that the only legal currency allowed for trade in The Free Settlers is TansyCoin. All copper, silver, or gold accrued while farming must be paid directly to me in tax.

Anyone who questions our policy will be summarily executed. You can find out more about our new policy here.

Goblinworks Executive Founder

You thought you were seeing the violence inherent in the system before.

Goblin Squad Member

Is any of us truly free? Have we not, since shackling ourselves to the undercarriage of the [BOOM]

voice-over: (Just as the strangely-alien-looking elf was starting to get his stride in this tedious sounding speech, he was taken out by a suicide goblin-bomber, restoring a sense of normalcy to the surroundings and opening up room in the schedule for scene 37, in which the knights, as though sensing their impending doom, make a fateful choice.)

Goblin Squad Member

Those goblins really are getting desperate, aren't they?

Goblinworks Executive Founder

Aren't all goblin bombers suicide bombers?

Goblin Squad Member

Is this because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at you? Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Capitalocracy wrote:

It is with a heavy heart that I inform you that due to the potential terrorist threats posed by other settlements, in order to ensure the survival of The Free Settlers, I will be taking a firmer hand in leading the Company. Specifically, for their own safety, all members, instead of being free and equal citizens with voting rights on company policy, will be part of an intricate caste system. So join the Free Settlers if you wish to play as:

- A slave.

- An indentured servant.

- A serf.

There is a possibility for advancement in the ranks for those who work particularly hard, however. Especially skilled crafters with lots of recipes will have the option (at my sole discretion) of becoming minimum wage workers. Note that the only legal currency allowed for trade in The Free Settlers is TansyCoin. All copper, silver, or gold accrued while farming must be paid directly to me in tax.

Anyone who questions our policy will be summarily executed. You can find out more about our new policy here.

ALL HAIL THE NEW BENEVOLENT DICTATOR!

Goblin Squad Member

DeciusBrutus wrote:
Aren't all goblin bombers suicide bombers?

Not intentionally!

Goblin Squad Member

Kadere wrote:
DeciusBrutus wrote:
Aren't all goblin bombers suicide bombers?
Not intentionally!

Unless you crossover to WHF and they are a doomdiver of course.

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