I am aware that I have to learn how to properly price an item, and the 3d6 on hardness mechanics is jumbled. so no need to mention that.
There is so much I wanted to do with this item, but thought of later. Any thoughts or suggestions?
Catapulting Full Plate
Aura Moderate Transmutation; CL 15th
Slot Armor; Price 144,650; Weight 50 lbs.
Description
This +2 Full plate has the appearance of hewn stone plates, and the ability to turn its wearer into a siege weapon. Once per day while wearing the armor, the wearer can take a running jump, transform into medium size stone (4ft diameter), and hurl themselves as if thrown by a heavy catapult (Pg 435 Core Rulebook). The stone has a hardness of 8, 360hp, and does 6d6 damage. Once hurled, the stone has a range of 200ft, and can travel in a single straight line direction, as well as an arching lob. The wearer must make a ranged touch attack to hit the intended target. To do this, the wearer must have at least a 10ft running start. On impacting an object with a hardness of 8 or greater, the stone takes 3d6 normal damage. The stone transforms back into armor on command or after 20 minutes.
If the stone is reduced to 180hp the armor is destroyed and wearer is expelled, taking 5d6 damage. The stones complete destruction expels you and slays you instantly.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor feats, Polymorph, Forceful Hand, Telekinesis; Cost 72,325 gp
I am aware that I have to learn how to properly price an item, and the 3d6 on hardness mechanics is jumbled. so no need to mention that.
There is so much I wanted to do with this item, but thought of later. Any thoughts or suggestions?Catapulting Full Plate
Aura Moderate Transmutation; CL 15th
Slot Armor; Price 144,650; Weight 50 lbs.
Description
This +2 Full plate has the appearance of hewn stone plates, and the ability to turn its wearer into a siege weapon. Once per day while wearing the armor, the wearer can take a running jump, transform into medium size stone (4ft diameter), and hurl themselves as if thrown by a heavy catapult (Pg 435 Core Rulebook). The stone has a hardness of 8, 360hp, and does 6d6 damage. Once hurled, the stone has a range of 200ft, and can travel in a single straight line direction, as well as an arching lob. The wearer must make a ranged touch attack to hit the intended target. To do this, the wearer must have at least a 10ft running start. On impacting an object with a hardness of 8 or greater, the stone takes 3d6 normal damage. The stone transforms back into armor on command or after 20 minutes.
If the stone is reduced to 180hp the armor is destroyed and wearer is expelled, taking 5d6 damage. The stones complete destruction expels you and slays you instantly.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor feats, Polymorph, Forceful Hand, Telekinesis; Cost 72,325 gp
*Formatting and wording issues.
*Price/Cost don't match.
*About 5k of this vastly expensive (and most certainly overpriced) item are on armor abilities. The rest is basically a wondrous power to become a catapult.
*Turns into second person at the end.
*It would have to be quite the attack to take the stone from 181+ hit points to 0 or below.
*Formatting and wording issues.*Price/Cost don't match.
*About 5k of this vastly expensive (and most certainly overpriced) item are on armor abilities. The rest is basically a wondrous power to become a catapult.
*Turns into second person at the end.
*It would have to be quite the attack to take the stone from 181+ hit points to 0 or below.
Completely valid. I will be fixing that.
Except for the 181+ hit points, which would be easy to do in the 20min you can stay as a stone.Thank you.
*Formatting and wording issues.*Price/Cost don't match.
*About 5k of this vastly expensive (and most certainly overpriced) item are on armor abilities. The rest is basically a wondrous power to become a catapult.
*Turns into second person at the end.
*It would have to be quite the attack to take the stone from 181+ hit points to 0 or below.
Completely valid. I will be fixing that.
Except for the 181+ hit points, which would be easy to do in the 20min you can stay as a stone.Thank you.
Ah, but it has to do it from 181+ to 0 in one hit, or else it will trigger the below 180 hp clause and end.
*Formatting and wording issues.*Price/Cost don't match.
*About 5k of this vastly expensive (and most certainly overpriced) item are on armor abilities. The rest is basically a wondrous power to become a catapult.
*Turns into second person at the end.
*It would have to be quite the attack to take the stone from 181+ hit points to 0 or below.
Agreed. I hope to fix those things while keeping the item flavour.
Except for the 181+ HP to destroy, as that would be easy to accomplish in the 20min you can remain as a stone. I think that was the right choice.Thank you for those Mark.
Raynulf, many thanks to you and the other reviewers for taking the time to offer comments on the submissions, in particular, my own Ghostspike Longspear.
As per the PRD:
Incorporeal Subtype: An incorporeal creature has no physical body. An incorporeal creature is immune to critical hits and precision-based damage (such as sneak attack damage) unless the attacks are made using a weapon with the ghost touch special weapon quality. In addition, creatures with the incorporeal subtype gain the incorporeal special quality.
Touche! I completely missed that... I'm not really sure how. (Memo to brain: Read the words. Read ALL the words).
In that light:
I'm arriving a bit late to this thread but would appreciate feedback from the crowd!
Ghostspike Longspear
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 26,310 gp; Weight 9 lbs.
Description
This +2 ghost touch cold iron longspear features an unadorned wooden haft and a dark iron, leaf-bladed spearhead. Wisps of ectoplasmic vapor trail from the spearhead as it moves. Though originally crafted as a tool to combat ghosts, the weapon’s property of vibrating softly when within 60 feet of an incorporeal creature has made it a popular choice among those Mendevian Crusaders who face shadow demons on a regular basis.In addition to its more mundane combat uses, a ghostspike longspear becomes fused to an incorporeal target on a critical hit, allowing its wielder to perform drag and reposition combat maneuvers against the target in subsequent rounds. The wielder may instead make a combat maneuver check as a standard action to deal normal weapon damage. A creature that is fused to the weapon cannot move, but may, as a standard action, make a combat maneuver or escape artist check versus the wielder’s CMD to free itself. The wielder receives a +2 circumstance bonus on all combat maneuver checks involving a fused target. The wielder may choose to free the weapon from a fused target as a move action.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, detect undead, ghostbane dirge, plane shift; Cost 14,310 gp
First off, I'd suggest force anchor as probably a more fitting requirement spell than ghostbane dirge, given what the respective spells do.
The concept is pretty cool, if pretty niche. The mechanics tread a bit into the "auto-success" realm with the 60ft automatic detection and the impale-on-crit, though I'd argue the latter is reasonable if considered to be basically equivalent to force anchor on crit, which doesn't occur that often with a longspear. The automatic detection is akin to a constant detect undead though it may wind up frustrating GMs.
As a rough stab at pricing:
- Cold Iron Longspear = 10gp
- Masterwork = 300gp
- +3 equivalent = 18,000gp
- Cold iron enhancement surcharge = 2,000gp
- Constant detect undead = 2,000gp
- force anchor on crit = 2nd level spell x CL3 x 2000gp x 25% adhoc discount = 9,000gp
- Total = 31,310gp; Cost = 15,810gp
From the looks of things, you're pricing the impale ability at around 4,000gp, which is a tad lower than I personally feel it's worth, but still within the bounds of reason :)
All told, the weapon is interesting and if you crit (and they're still alive) offers more than simple damage against incorporeal creatures, but instead an opportunity to move them around. The only thing I'd suggest as being actually undesirable is the auto-detect, given that detect undead and the like normally require concentration, and it will lead to retcons in the game when the GM forgets the staff's ability.
Dedicated Voter Season 8
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I know I'm late to the party, but I'd like an honest assessment of my item. I was happy to make the cull, but I never expected to get to Top 32. This is a learning experience for me. The first thing I noticed was that I should have added rage as a spell requirement.
Staff of the Beast Within
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 40,000 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
Made from stout cedar root with pawprints of various animals burned into the wood, this staff is hot to the touch. When held, the pawprints move, giving the impression that the animals are walking down the length of the staff and back again. It allows the use of the following spells.
- Animal Aspect (1 Charge)
- Savage Maw (1 Charge)
- Beast Shape II (2 Charges)
- Aspect of the Wolf (3 Charges)
In addition, if the wielder of the staff of the beast within has her own rage class ability (such as barbarian's rage, bloodrager's bloodrage, or skald's inspired rage) she may spend 10 rounds of this ability to recharge one charge of the staff as if she had spent a 5th level prepared spell or spell slot. A calm emotions spell or effect has a chance to dispel any spell effect originating from the staff of the beast within in addition to its normal effects, and causes the staff to be suppressed as if targeted by a successful dispel magic for as long as the staff is in the area of effect.
Construction Requirements Craft Staff, animal aspect, aspect of the wolf, beast shape ii, savage maw; Cost 20,000 gp
Staff of the Beast Within
I liked and voted for that ML. It had some problems (lack of Rage requirement, the question of what you are going to do with the staff once you've activated anything but Beast Shape 2 and need to get into melee combat) but had great flavor and I liked the Rage rounds recharge idea.
Hey, folks. I'd love to see the judges' critiques for my item, the scales of the scarab.
Scales of the Scarab
Aura strong transmutation; CL 13th
Slot armor; Price 33,200 gp; Weight 22 lbs.
Description
Each scale comprising this suit of +3 scale mail is constructed from the etched husk of a scarab beetle. If the wearer of the scales of the scarab is slain, the desiccated beetles that make up the armor animate, absorbing and devouring the wearer's body over the course of 1 round. If the wearer is returned to life before that time, the scales of the scarab reform around the wearer and resume functioning normally.
Any items carried or worn by the consumed creature fall to the ground, and the slain wearer gains full control over the scarabs, and can even direct the swarm to arrange itself into shapes or letters. The beetle swarm functions as a spider swarm except that the scarabs gain DR 5/- and do not gain the poison special attack. Additionally, the scarab swarm gains no immunity to weapon attacks due to the fragile energies that animate it; it receives half damage from weapon attacks instead. As a full-round action, the scarabs may reform into the armor-clad corpse of its devoured possessor. After reforming, the beetles do not animate again until the next time any wearer is slain, and never more than once per hour. Time spent absorbed by the beetles does not count against the time-based restrictions under which a character may be returned to life with spells such as breath of life or raise dead. Finally, the scarab swarm counts as the intact corpse of its possessor for the purposes of returning that creature to life with spells that require an intact body.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, creeping doom, vermin shape II, Cost 16,700 gp
but it has to do it from 181+ to 0 in one hit, or else it will trigger the below 180 hp clause and end.
Mark I am not following why you are saying the 180+ has to be done in 1 hit.
This item lets you stay in stone form for 20min. If the wearer wants to sit back and let people hit the stone, or if they land in acid, or what ever, they can.During that 20 (or until the wear changes back), if multiple attacks hit for 180+hp, the wearer is expelled.
What am I missing.
Feros - I agree the last line is choppy. I was using the spell "meld into stone" as a ref.
"Minor physical damage to the stone does not harm you, but its partial destruction (to the extent that you no longer fit within it) expels you and deals you 5d6 points of damage"
but it has to do it from 181+ to 0 in one hit, or else it will trigger the below 180 hp clause and end.
Mark I am not following why you are saying the 180+ has to be done in 1 hit.
This item lets you stay in stone form for 20min. If the wearer wants to sit back and let people hit the stone, or if they land in acid, or what ever, they can.
During that 20 (or until the wear changes back), if multiple attacks hit for 180+hp, the wearer is expelled.What am I missing.
Feros - I agree the last line is choppy. I was using the spell "meld into stone" as a ref.
"Minor physical damage to the stone does not harm you, but its partial destruction (to the extent that you no longer fit within it) expels you and deals you 5d6 points of damage"
It starts at 360. If it ever goes to 180, you are expelled. If it goes to 0 before you are expelled, you die. Thus, in order to die, it needs to take 181 or more in one hit (since it must be sitting at 181 at most to not have expelled you).
ah yes. I get you now mark.
Jacob. I am both tosscobbles. my phone auto logs in on my old account.
RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 4
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Star Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka Snowblossom
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I just want to take a moment to thank Brigg, Thomas LeBlanc, Mark Seifter, Feros, Raynulf and Jaragil for the time they took in providing me with their feedback (I hope I didn't miss anyone). I really appreciate it guys.
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So, what am I looking for, here, when I judge these items? Well, my crtique is going to be a little different than most others because my primary focus is on rules knowledge, clarity/simplicity, and usability. You can come up with the most creative item on the planet, but if nobody is going to actually use it in a real game, who cares? And it doesn't matter if nobody uses it because it's obviously too strong, too weak for its price, too confusing/complicated to actually adjudicate at the table, or just too niche to have an actual target audience.
What I am generally not looking at is flavor text. Descriptions of your item will only hurt if the item evokes imagery I dislike. I care about theme, of course, but a crow item that blinds and has pilfering hand in it is thematic enough--I don't need to read about what different kinds of dark wood were used and how many crow parts are sticking out of it. Honestly, I'm just going to describe your item however I like when I run the game anyway.
Finally, know that I did not read any other critiques of your item yet. These are all my first thoughts based only on the item itself, so, I apologize if I repeat things others have said already.
Now, let's get to it!
Then, you get to the spells. They're kind of "eh," honestly. Featherstep is something most people have shoes for--either that, or, since it's 11th level, the party is flying most places anyway. Invigorate is a bizarre choice--not only is fatigue/exhaustion not much of an issue for Monks, it's not even a real cure, it's an illusion (the staff should also probably have an illusion aura). Blur is a nice buff, but rarely worth the action to actually cast it. Haste is one of those spells everyone wants, but, your party almost certainly has someone already casting this, no? If not, you're going to want a solution that works more often than once every 3 days, right?
Then, there's the confusion over who is using this weapon and how it actually works as far as caster levels and whatnot are concerned. Brief note before I continue: Ninja have Ki and base it on Charisma, so locking in Wisdom here is basically givin them the shaft. Anyway, your language is ambiguous. We know anyone with a Ki pool can use the spells as though they have a spell list that includes them, but can people who actually have them on their spell list use the staff? You say it can be recharged with Ki, but can it also be recharged in the normal way with spell slots?
You use class levels in any class that grants ki to determine the caster level of spells cast with the staff. Does that only count classes that have actually granted you ki? For example, if I have enough levels of Ninja to get a ki pool, and then one level of Monk, can I include the Monk level in my caster level? Does Rogue count (as they can get Ki from a talent)? What about Martial Artist Monk? It replaces Ki, but Monk normally does grant ki. If I am a spellcaster AND a ki user, can I combine my real caster levels with my ki classes? If I were a Ninja 9/Sorcerer 11, would I have a 20 CL for the staff, 11, or 9?
If my party found this staff, we'd sell it quickly. Nobody would use it as a weapon, and the spells are just not that useful (given their charge costs) for anyone to bother. I also can't see anyone ordering this.
Overall, like I said, it's a hint of a good idea, but the execution is weak. The way it works is ambiguous and it's just totally impractical and weak regardless.
Ok, let's pretend it doesn't look ridiculous. What does this shield really do?
1) It's a +1 light shield. Light shields are traps, and making one shows a lack of understanding for what actually happens in Pathfinder. The dual wielding rules mean that, you're not going to be shield bashing unless you are a dedicated shield basher, and if you are one, you're using a heavy shield. If you have a shield for AC, you're using a heavy shield. If you want a shield and a free hand, you're using a Buckler. There is no practical purpose for a light shield.
2) It lets you change the damage type and critical threat/multiplier of your shield bash. Shields can already do Bashing (with a plain bash) or Piercing (with a spike), so, all it really does is help you deal slashing. I guess if you want to fight a lot of plant monsters, this will help? The ability to turn your bash into an 18-20/x2 or x4 weapon isn't bad, but, it's not enough. See, this bashing attack is not a magical weapon, and putting a magical weapon in the shield doesn't make the bash magical. Why would I invest so much in bashing if the attack isn't even enhanced?
3) Make a single ranged attack with the weapon at range. A single attack just...it's not going to matter, especially at the level you're going to be able to get one of these (its an offhand weapon, so, it can't realistically be more than, maybe 1/4 of your WBL, which means 10th level or so), and since it's one attack, nobody is going focus on throwing and take real feats and stuff to support it. Adding the Returing property is nice, just so you don't have to lose your weapon, but while adding Anchoring, in theory, should be awesome, it doesn't actually work. Anchoring: "This ability can also be used when the wielder hits a creature with a melee attack using an anchoring weapon." Nothing about your item changes this and allows it to work with your shield's range attack.
If my party found this item, we'd play with it a bit for the silliness, then sell it. I can't imagine who'd order it.
Overall, I'm sorry, it's too silly and then, not even powerful enough to make that ok. It also shows a bit of a lack of understanding for how the game works.
The 3d6 (10.5 average) damage you'll probably deal with this is just not going to matter after the first few levels. So, you're left with the ability to place people 60' away, possibly setting up some nice AoE control effects. However, it might no actually be good for that purpose, because, it's unclear whether or not you must send them flying exactly 60' or just up to 60'. If it's the latter, it's awesome for positioning. If it's the former (and I suspect it is), well, then it's purely for fun.
If my party found this item, we'd have a lot of fun with it. We really should sell it, but I think we'd enjoy playing with it too much. However, I don't think anyone would custom order one.
Overall, really fun item, but, not powerful or practical enough to win.
This net costs more than 54k. Given that you are not supposed to have any item worth more than half your total WBL, you won't be able to get this net until 13th level. It becomes a CR 3 creature. Uh, need I say more?
That's like trying to cast Summon Monster III, hoping your Crocodile can help you fight an Iron Golem.
If my party found this item, we'd have a nice pay day. Nobody would custom order this item.
Overall, the idea of a net that grapples you is a cool one, but making it a creature really screwed you, because the cost is just way too high compared to the CR you were able to get. You should have just made the net literally grapple, and maybe use your own CMD. There was no reason to make it a creature that chased people around--it could have just been a "grappled until escape" situation.
No, it has to be armor, because it only costs 9k and a +2 Holy weapon would cost 32k, though, assuming Holy was a +2 enchant, a +2 holy shield should still cost 16k. Were you thinking the property is "holy reliquary?" That's just really confusing.
Anyway, let's look at the effect. Wow, this is convoluted, and appears to only work for Paladin (as I am not aware of any other archetype that gets Lay on Hands). So, first you spend some Lay on Hands (1 or 2, depending on speed). Then, it glows for a duration based on your level (which items just don't do in general--it should be based on the item's caster level).
The shield glows like a torch, and anyone in the light gets a benefit. Now, is that in the bright light (20') or the dim light (40') of the torch?
Anyway, cure spells heal/deal 1 extra hp/damage per die of lay on hands. So...it adds a piddly amount to a kind of healing that is very rarely used in pitched combat? Jeez, I wish it could benefit channeling, Lay on Hands, Breath of Life, Heal, and other abilities actually likely to be used in pitched combat. Wow, it doesn't even apply to wands or scrolls. Weak.
Finally, the "real" effect that anyone is likely to care about is giving an ally a bonus to saves vs. an effect that your mercies could cure. That's somewhat interesting, but it's not a favorable exchange rate. You have to pre-emptively spend this LoH use to help prevent a condition (and it might not work or be needed), or you could wait until the ally is actually affected and spend your LoH afterwards to remove it. I don't see much point here, especially for something like 5k (assuming you're saying "holy reliquary" is the property.
If my party found this item, I play with people that hate Paladins (I'm the only one who ever played one in front of them) and the other GMs in the group (that aren't me) routinely ban them, so, even if we could figure it out, we'd sell it (I really like Paladins, but they are problematic to enough people that I wouldn't design items just for them). Nobody would bother custom ordering this, because even if we understood it, it's just not a worthwhile effect.
Overall, it's a nice idea (help allies within the glow of your shield's ability), but the actual execution is lacking in clarity and power
First, a +1 Adamantine Dagger should cost about 5k. You're basically charging 2k for the ability to teleport this dagger to you from anywhere as long as it's not observed. The ability to call your weapon to your hand from 100' away is a weapon property called, well, "Called," and a +1 Adamantine Called Dagger would cost 11k, so, that's an issue right off the bat. I understand that Called is as at will as a swift, but you still have to weigh the value of anywhere on the same plane.
Then, there's the tone. The final line really bugged me for this reason. It just didn't read like a Pathfinder item entry should. The lack of markings hinting at the attunement shouldn't be relevant--people can identify how to use it by identifying the weapon or using UMD--so, it's wasted words to get across the casual nature of the weapon, which throws your tone off and turns me off to it.
If my group found this weapon, we'd have little use for it. Getting captured is not really something heroes do for the most part, so no PCs would custom order it, either. This is a great npc/story item, though, in theory.
Overall, I like what you were going for, but the severe price problem and, like I said, some ephemeral aspect of your writing made me vote it down out of the top 32. You're obviously a clever designer, though, so, you should be good next year if you're more careful.
Anyway, yours was one of the best of these shields, for what it's worth, because, as I said, you allowed Grappling as well. Plus, it was a +3 Shield, one of the higher enhancement bonuses in the competition. However you still were unclear about some things (does having a weapon embedded in your shield affect anything? how hard is it for someone to get their weapon back from your shield?).
I also don't like the "miss by 5" thing. That's an informal thing lot of GMs use to determine why someone missed, but it's really not part of the game. I mean, why would the last 5 AC be the shield? The shield would be the first thing that might block the attack (well, potentially your Dex/Dodge to not be in the way at all, but then the shield is second). Wouldn't Natural Armor be the last few AC? I just don't think the "Miss by 5" thing is a good way to handle it, not that I'm sure there is a good way to handle it without resorting to uses per day (which I hate).
If my party found it, eh, I think we'd sell it. I'm sure someone would order it, but I don't know exactly who.
Overall, it's ok, but there are definintely problems.
I know you say its only at-will for Paladins, but, 6 times per day is basically at will anyway--if you have 5 uses per day or more, it's priced the same, in fact. How did you determine 5 minutes per use? The item's caster level is 9--shouldn't it be 9 minutes?
The cost of at-will daylight and fly should be 9 (CL) x 3 (spell level) x 2 (two spell effects) x 1800 (the command modifier) = 97.2k.
The armor itself is 1.5k (98.7k)
+3 costs 9k (107.7 total).
Mithril costs 9k (116.7k total).
Adamantine is 15k (131.7k total).
Even without an extra cost to combine Adamantine and Mithril (which you should definitely have), your item is undercosted.
If my party found this item, everyone with heavy armor proficiency would fight over it, for the adamantine/mithril combo alone. Every Paladin would custom order it. It's too good and underpriced.
Overall, I think you were really focused on, "oh man, this is so cool!" and didn't think about the power and cost of combining all this stuff.
Right off the bat, this is not a staff. This is, maybe a rod? Staves in Pathfinder have spells in them and a whole bunch of rules about those spells are costed and how many charges they require. You're just kind of making stuff up, which is fine in a general sense, but not for staff. That, already, has lost my vote because it shows you don't really understand what different magic item categories even are.
Then, I look at the staff itself. You came up with clever names for everything, but here's what they really are:
1) Air walk for 3 rounds. You can fluff it however you like, but it is undeniably the effects of air walk, which is not even in your construction requirements.
2) "I did not think this through!" So, the get buried and can't cast spells with an S component, but you list no other effects. It looks like they can freely attack, hell, even move, since nothing about the effect prevents it and "buried" is not a condition/game term that means anything. Further, you mention nothing of size. This can apparently bury an Ancient Red Wyrm as easily as it buries a halfling. And, there's no defense whatsoever. You just do it--no save, no attack roll, nothing. There should always be a defense of some sort, no matter what.
3) "I didn't realize this was actually the weakest power!" There's no duration listed here, but even if it was "forever," 3d6 damage is a joke (10.5 average damage? Who cares) and it's just plain, non-magical bludgeoning, so at a certain point in your career, it won't even bypass DR anymore. Most enemies have reach after certain point, too, so hitting adjacent won't even matter. Then you get a junky combat maneuver (Bull Rush) that you probably won't succeed on (because CMD scales too fast) and you don't even remove the AoO you provoke from bullrushing, meaning you're going to eat a lot of attacks unless you have Improved Bullush (and if you have that, you're not the sort that will be wielding a staff that can't even be used as a weapon).
The worst part? This is basically a consumable item because, with no spells, there's no way to recharge this.
If my party found this, we'd probably keep it just to auto-bone any spellcasting enemy with the second power, because that's insanely too powerful, and never use the other powers (because the third is a joke an the first, while useful, would take away from my total possible uses of the second). Anyone would custom order this for the second, caster boning usage.
Overall, this is a really poorly done item, sorry. It's simultaneously too strong, unclear, too weak...it's just a mess.
1) The amount of time spent in Raven form is just way too low. Hmm...actually, this isn't so bad--are you sure this is the version submitted to the competition? I could have sworn I remember it being something like 40k for 5 minutes/rounds per day? Hmm, well, even if I'm misremembering, this item might be ok. 10 min/rounds per day isn't too bad.
2) The cost is ridiculously too high for +2 Armor, which should only cost 4k. You're basically buying 65k worth of special, non-armor related power, alongside your 4k worth of armor.
Like I said, I still really liked it, and it was in my top 4 or 5 armors overall. I'm a sucker for Raven/Crow stuff, especially Raven swarms. A few of my most memorable sessions of 3rd edition play involved the PCs facing swarms of Ravens that ripped and tore at their eyes--it was nasty and awesome.
If my party found this, I'd petition to play with it, but, ultimately, have to sell it because of just how much money it's worth. I couldn't custom order something this expensive in good conscience, but, I'd really want to.
Overall, great idea, well executed concept, but with just the tragic flaw of price. Again, as I've said before, you might have actually priced it "correctly." The "correct" price is, unfortunately, not always worth the effect.
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If your item is posted before this post you have a review on my critique thread.
Betrayer's Blade
Aura faint transmutation; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 32,702 gp; Weight 1 lb.Description
This +1 speed dagger is finely made with a red leather handle and a pommel embossed on both sides with the face of a regal man in profile. When a creature wielding this dagger makes a successful feint against a target, that target is also denied its Dexterity bonus to AC for the bonus attack granted by the weapon’s speed ability.Once per day, a creature wielding this weapon may use their Bluff skill bonus in place of their melee attack bonus while attacking with this weapon. If this attack follows a successful feint, the attack does an additional 2d6 damage. This effect only applies to the first attack, and not to the bonus attack granted by the speed ability.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, haste, unprepared combatant; Cost 16,502 gp
I voted for this one several times but it was not one of my top favorites. I liked what it did and I think it does it pretty well. I think it would be okay in a book of magic items and I could see it in my games.
I know I'm late to the party, but I'd like an honest assessment of my item. I was happy to make the cull, but I never expected to get to Top 32. This is a learning experience for me. The first thing I noticed was that I should have added rage as a spell requirement.
Staff of the Beast Within
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 40,000 gp; Weight 5 lbs.Description
Made from stout cedar root with pawprints of various animals burned into the wood, this staff is hot to the touch. When held, the pawprints move, giving the impression that the animals are walking down the length of the staff and back again. It allows the use of the following spells.
- Animal Aspect (1 Charge)
- Savage Maw (1 Charge)
- Beast Shape II (2 Charges)
- Aspect of the Wolf (3 Charges)
In addition, if the wielder of the staff of the beast within has her own rage class ability (such as barbarian's rage, bloodrager's bloodrage, or skald's inspired rage) she may spend 10 rounds of this ability to recharge one charge of the staff as if she had spent a 5th level prepared spell or spell slot. A calm emotions spell or effect has a chance to dispel any spell effect originating from the staff of the beast within in addition to its normal effects, and causes the staff to be suppressed as if targeted by a successful dispel magic for as long as the staff is in the area of effect.
Construction Requirements Craft Staff, animal aspect, aspect of the wolf, beast shape ii, savage maw; Cost 20,000 gp
*Raging recharge should probably require the rager be at least 9th level to prevent foisting it off to a 1st-level barbarian with Extra Rage to recharge.
*Calm emotions has a "chance to dispel" the staff's powers, but the staff doesn't explain what that chance might be.
*Good start in linking the staff to the fury of the beast, but the extras weren't enough to be Superstar.
*Another thermally charged staff! Interesting touch with the moving paw prints.
*This would be fun to have in the hands of a shaman or barbarian.
*Spell names aren't italicized in the body. Nice tie to rage class abilities. Formatting is otherwise good.
*It's *almost* there, but not enough.
Hey, folks. I'd love to see the judges' critiques for my item, the scales of the scarab.
Scales of the Scarab
Aura strong transmutation; CL 13th
Slot armor; Price 33,200 gp; Weight 22 lbs.Description
Each scale comprising this suit of +3 scale mail is constructed from the etched husk of a scarab beetle. If the wearer of the scales of the scarab is slain, the desiccated beetles that make up the armor animate, absorbing and devouring the wearer's body over the course of 1 round. If the wearer is returned to life before that time, the scales of the scarab reform around the wearer and resume functioning normally.Any items carried or worn by the consumed creature fall to the ground, and the slain wearer gains full control over the scarabs, and can even direct the swarm to arrange itself into shapes or letters. The beetle swarm functions as a spider swarm except that the scarabs gain DR 5/- and do not gain the poison special attack. Additionally, the scarab swarm gains no immunity to weapon attacks due to the fragile energies that animate it; it receives half damage from weapon attacks instead. As a full-round action, the scarabs may reform into the armor-clad corpse of its devoured possessor. After reforming, the beetles do not animate again until the next time any wearer is slain, and never more than once per hour. Time spent absorbed by the beetles does not count against the time-based restrictions under which a character may be returned to life with spells such as breath of life or raise dead. Finally, the scarab swarm counts as the intact corpse of its possessor for the purposes of returning that creature to life with spells that require an intact body.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, creeping doom, vermin shape II, Cost 16,700 gp
*Is there a duration on the swarm? If it gets killed, what happens?
*If neither of these has an effect, then it seems that it would be impossible to prevent someone with this armor from being breath of lifed without using death magic or something.
Here is my item. I appreciate any feedback and will try to share my thoughts on others' items as time permits. Thanks in advance!
Warbreaker’s Staff
Aura moderate abjuration; CL 11th
Slot none; Price 46,200 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
First crafted long ago by an order of pacifists, this staff appears to be made from glass or crystal, but it is far sturdier. The staff allows use of the following spells:
• Dispel magic (1 charge)
• Sanctuary (1 charge)
• Shatter (1 charge)
Both dispel magic and shatter can only be used to target weapons. In addition to these abilities, the staff grants its wielder the Improved Sunder feat, ignoring any prerequisites. When used in a sunder attempt on a weapon, the staff ignores the first 5 points of the weapon’s hardness, and deals damage as a quarterstaff, with a +2 enhancement bonus to the damage roll. This ability functions even when the staff is out of charges. For all other attacks, including sunder attempts against items that are not weapons, the staff functions as a masterwork quarterstaff. When the staff reduces a weapon to 0 hit points, that weapon appears to transform into the same crystalline substance as the staff itself, before shattering into pieces.
Construction
Requirements Craft Staff, Craft Magical Arms and Armor, Improved Sunder, dispel magic, sanctuary, shatter; Cost 23,100 gp
This is another one I voted for some of the time, but thought could have been better. I liked the combat staff them and how it's spells were to be used against weapons, but I also felt that this made it more a weapon then a staff. I think it might have been better had it focused on one of the spells, either [1]shatter[/1] or [i]dispel magic[/1], and made a weapon that did something spectacular based on the spell.
Ring of the Clockwork Sentinel
Aura moderate enchantment; CL 11th
Slot ring; Price 20,000 gp; Weight —
DescriptionThis heavy brass ring appears to be three thin rings joined together with a small clockwork face on top. Each ring is covered in ten runes and can rotate, clicking with each turn. The face is made up of two tiny rubies and an open brass rectangle resembling a mouth displaying a single combination of three runes at any given time.
To lock the ring and activate its powers, the wearer must spend one minute concentrating on a combination of runes from the three thinner rings and then rotate the rings to a different combination. Once locked, the ring can only be removed by the wearer rotating the three rings to the specified combination, break enchantment, limited wish, miracle or wish. If the wearer dies, the ring can be removed after one hour of trying combinations.
If a creature attempts to remove (or disarm) an item from the wearer’s possession without permission (no action to grant permission) the ring’s face animates and audibly protests, chirping and whirling for 1 round; it also constricts the wearer’s finger enough to waken the wearer from a normal sleep. The creature must make a DC 19 Will save or be unable to remove any items from the wearer for 10 rounds. This is a mind-affecting, compulsion enchantment.
Once per day, through a series of facial expressions and clicks the ring can provide the distance (clicking more frequently with proximity) and direction to the location of a stolen item. The item must be within 1 mile and have been in the wearer’s possession for at least 1 hour within the past 24 hours.Construction
Requirements Forge Ring, alarm, geas, locate object; Cost 10,000 gp
While I was a fan of the description of this item I was not a fan of its powers. It seems to me someone has a DM that always has a thief steal the PC's cool stuff. This item is meant then to prevent that or at least lead you to it if it does get taken. It falls into the makes adventuring easy category for me and so it did't get my vote very often.
Talon
Aura moderate evocation; CL 7th
Slot none; Price 25,650 gp; Weight 7 lbs.
Description
This sturdy weapon acts as a +1 adaptive holy composite longbow.
Talon is embossed just above the hand guard with an emerald encrusted golden tree encircled in silver. Three times per day, Talon can generate an arrow of pure positive energy. When fired at a living creature this arrow will heal the target as cure light wounds (CL 5) empowered with additional positive energy from the holy aspect of the bow (1d8+5+2d6). This action resolves as a touch attack. If the archer has the ability to fire multiple arrows in a round then each arrow can be altered up to the maximum the archer can fire or the limit of three per day, whichever comes first. Each time one of these arrows is fired one of the emeralds turns clear. All emeralds are recharged with the next dawn.
If targeted at an undead creature, or other creature susceptible to positive energy, the arrow resolves as a touch attack and deals damage equal to its healing ability (Will DC 12 for half).
Construction
Requirements Craft Arms and Armor, warp wood, cure light wounds, holy smite, creator must be good; Cost 12,825 gp
I sort of like the idea of a bow that essentially channels energy to heal team mates or damage undead. However it seems to me to take away the role of the party healer. I am not a big fan of items that eliminate the need for a particular class. I don't think that is a design space super star items should be in. If this had been an bow clerics and the like could use to convert their channel energy into a focused long range effect that might have been really cool if executed well.
Here is my item from the most recent Superstar competition. I would love to hear what people think of it:
Staff of Duergar Enslavement
Aura: Moderate Transmutation and Enchantment; CL 10
Slot: None; Price:118,000 GP; Weight: 8 poundsThis staff is made of rough black stone, and is shaped like a stalactite. This item is constructed by Duergar taskmasters in order to help keep their slaves in line. This staff allows the following spells:
Suggestion (1 charge)
Crushing Despair (1 charge)
Dominate Person (2 Charge)
Feeblemind (2 charge)In addition, by expending 8 charges, the staff can fire a ray which transforms a subject hit by it into a Duergar Dwarf. This functions like the spell Polymorph, except it has a permanent duration, and the subject's alignment becomes Neutral Evil. The subject also believes they have always been a Duergar Dwarf. This effect can be ended by a Dispel evil, Break Enchantment, Miracle, or Wish spell.
Construction requirements:
Craft Staff, Suggestion, Crushing Despair, Dominate Person, Feeblemind, Polymorph; Cost: 59,000 GP
*Formatting issues
*The duergar transformation power is bizarre (for just one of several things, the reference spell chosen is listed as "harmless," which will alter the way this interacts with abilities that depend on whether something is harmless, and it's ver much not harmless).
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Here was mine. :P
Celerity Blade
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 47,315 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
Forged with an infusion of quicksilver and quickling blood, this +1 speed mithral longsword’s mirrorlike blade shimmers as droplets of mercurial liquid course from hilt to point. This weapon is nimble despite being a longsword, and functions as a light weapon. The crossguard depicts the visage of a quickling that changes expressions ranging from sneering at foes to smiling when blood is drawn.The celerity blade harnesses the energy of the fey creature and grants the wielder a charge attack that does not need to move in a straight line. The wielder’s base land speed is doubled while charging, leaving streaks of silver trailing behind.
This blade’s swiftness grants the wielder the ability to hide its movement from view, and on the first round of initiative targets are considered flat-footed whether they have acted in the round or not.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, cat’s grace, lighten object, haste; Cost 25,815 gp
I liked this one, particularly the treating of openness as flat footed even if they have acted in the first round. The charge is also cool, but I am not sure allowing it to change directions is a good idea. It should probably cost more too. Any way I voted for it several times.
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Outrider's Band (
297294 words)
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 7th
Slot ring; Price 6,300 gp; Weight -
Description
This finely-braided steel ring is flanked with opposing humanoid and equine figures, their limbs entangled in the strands. It grants a +2 competence bonus on Ride checks and a -4 competence penalty on Survival checks to follow the wearer's tracks.Outriders often encounter circumstances where it is disadvantageous to have their mount accompany them, or, conversely, leave their mount behind. This ring allows a rider to merge with her appropriate-sized equine mount as a full-round action. The resulting ipotane form is a bipedal humanoid hybrid possessing the rider's physical and mental attributes and qualities with digitigrade legs, hooves, and minor equine features. The ipotane gains low-light vision, a +1 racial bonus to natural armor, a +4 racial bonus to Constitution (running and forced march) and Handle Animal (equines only) checks, and 1 temporary hit point for each hit die of the mount. She also gains speak with animals (equines only) at will. The mount's worn gear, not exceeding a light load, melds into the ipotane form. Separating is a full-round action, with the mount taking any hit point loss up to the amount it originally contributed, and the rider taking the balance of the loss and any persisting effects.
The ipotane treats her Constitution modifier as 2 lower when determining the effects of alcohol (GameMastery Guide, pg. 237). If merged with a non-combat trained equine, the hybrid receives a -2 morale penalty on Will saves against fear effects, which increases to -4 when facing dragons or...
This one treads into the makes adventuring easy territory for me as well as the monster in a can territory. It is a creative idea, but I was not a big fan of heroes turning into blended horses. I think your mythological inspiration is fine, jut might have been better suited to inspiring a new monster or templet for monsters then as a magic item.
*Is there a duration on the swarm? If it gets killed, what happens?
No duration is listed, and no duration applies; however...
If neither of these has an effect, then it seems that it would be impossible to prevent someone with this armor from being breath of lifed without using death magic or something.
...if the swarm is killed, the swarm is killed. A swarm cannot be returned to life from the dead (not by any means that I know of, anyhow!), so killing the swarm is one simple way of slaying the wearer permanently. The other is to slay the wearer twice in one hour (as per the "never more than once per hour" clause).
If neither of these has an effect, then it seems that it would be impossible to prevent someone with this armor from being breath of lifed without using death magic or something....if the swarm is killed, the swarm is killed. A swarm cannot be returned to life from the dead (not by any means that I know of, anyhow!), so killing the swarm is one simple way of slaying the wearer permanently.
The item didn't answer that question without your clarification, though. The swarm says it counts as the intact corpse, and it didn't say that the swarm had to be alive for that to remain true. It also doesn't describe what the implications are to the armor of the swarm's death, for instance. Is it destroyed? We had several transform-into-swarm items this year, and the others generally answered that question (and they answered it in different ways)
The item didn't answer that question without your clarification, though. The swarm says it counts as the intact corpse, and it didn't say that the swarm had to be alive for that to remain true. It also doesn't describe what the implications are to the armor of the swarm's death, for instance. Is it destroyed? We had several transform-into-swarm items this year, and the others generally answered that question (and they answered it in different ways)If neither of these has an effect, then it seems that it would be impossible to prevent someone with this armor from being breath of lifed without using death magic or something....if the swarm is killed, the swarm is killed. A swarm cannot be returned to life from the dead (not by any means that I know of, anyhow!), so killing the swarm is one simple way of slaying the wearer permanently.
Yyyyeah... on a hindsight reading, that last line does way more harm than good, I think. A shame, because I would have loved to cut the word count down. I hate that my submission seems to be pushing 300 year after year. It's a problem. : /
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Dedicated Voter Season 8
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Staff of the Beast Within*Calm emotions has a "chance to dispel" the staff's powers, but the staff doesn't explain what that chance might be.
*Spell names aren't italicized in the body. Nice tie to rage class abilities. Formatting is otherwise good.
*It's *almost* there, but not enough.
The "chance to dispel" would be the same chance as the spell dispel magic, a caster level check against a DC determined by the spell(s) in effect. I should have made that more clear, or perhaps dropped the "drawback" altogether. Thanks for the note about the formatting. Can't believe I overlooked that.
Almost there is high praise indeed. :)
Staff of the Beast Within:Interesting idea of tying the staffs recharge power to bloodragers, barbarians, and skalds. Very original! However, some of the spells are not on the bloodrager spell list and none of them are on the skald’s meaning this singular ability beyond that of a usual staff is only useful to multi-classing individuals. Savage maw is usually only available to half-orcs, so half-orc druid/sorcerer/barbarians seem to be the only ones who can use this staff effectively—unless you allowed the wild shape ability of a druid to qualify for beast shape II and savage maw for all druids, in which case a druid/barbarian would suffice. Far too niche regardless.
Thanks for the critique! :)
Honestly, I figured any skald interested in staves would have enough ranks in UMD to cover the off-list spells. Perhaps a poor assumption, but that was the thought process. I also didn't take into account that all of the spells should be useable by all of the possible users. I don't agree with that sentiment, but I'll consider it in the future. Being a niche item is a failing of all staves, in my opinion. I tried to make it useful to as many non-traditional casters as I could.
Thanks again, and in advance, to anyone who comments.
** spoiler omitted **
** spoiler omitted **
** spoiler omitted **...
Thank you for the feedback on the Sidereal Blade. Since you asked the same question as several others, I will explain my decision in including the ghosttouch properties.
My reasoning is that the Sidereal blades were attuned to whichever universe in which they were to be wielded, increasing their effectiveness against anything that is of a different resonance or "out of tune" with the rest of the universe - including outsiders and undead.
In this way, the undead are regarded as an aberrant element that is out of balance with the rest of the universe that needs to be righted.
In hindsight, I should have explained that better in the flavor text or left out the ghosttouch option entirely.
So, what am I looking for, here, when I judge these items? Well, my crtique is going to be a little different than most others because my primary focus is on rules knowledge, clarity/simplicity, and usability. You can come up with the most creative item on the planet, but if nobody is going to actually use it in a real game, who cares? And it doesn't matter if nobody uses it because it's obviously too strong, too weak for its price, too confusing/complicated to actually adjudicate at the table, or just too niche to have an actual target audience.
What I am generally not looking at is flavor text. Descriptions of your item will only hurt if the item evokes imagery I dislike. I care about theme, of course, but a crow item that blinds and has pilfering hand in it is thematic enough--I don't need to read about what different kinds of dark wood were used and how many crow parts are sticking out of it. Honestly, I'm just going to describe your item however I like when I run the game anyway.
Finally, know that I did not read any other critiques of your item yet. These are all my first thoughts based only on the item itself, so, I apologize if I repeat things others have said already.
Now, let's get to it!
Totally shutting down flight with a melee attack is probably too much, especially since it makes flyers fall immediately. But a DC: 15 is probably too weak. It only lasts 1d4 rounds, which is barely any time, but then, it works every swing, which is too often. Then, "flight or levitation related magic items or effects" is a little bit vague. Does a spell, sla, or supernatural ability that, say, changes your shape into a naturally flying creature get suppressed entirely, or does only the flight speed shut down?
I don't know how to feel about this item. I like that it's infinite use, but, I think it might be annoying to keep rolling that save constantly, and it's probably too useful. Plus, you probabl have to fly yourself in order to make proper use of this item, which delays when you can realistically use it to its fullest. Frankly, this might be the rare time that the skewer shield might be good, so you can launch this at the fliers. And, really, it just barely feels like a complete, Pathfinder item. I can't put that any better, sorry.
If my party found this, I don't know if anyone woud really care--we have other strategies for dealing with fliers, like, ranged attacks and spells. I think we'd sell it. Plenty of characters would custom order it, but, I think those people are the sorts we don't want to encourage, because they'd only be doing it so they don't have to prepare for flyers in other ways. I don't want people that are going to laze out like that in my party.
Overall, I don't know how to rate this. I don't think it's a Superstar, but it's not exactly bad. I think it's just the tendency to encourage people to be lazy about their preparations for different situations that bothers me--"you don't need to prepare for flyers, just smash the down with a hammer!"
I think finding the location of every enemy instantly is kind of unfair and ridiculous. It makes adventuring way too easy and safe.
If my party found this, we'd definitely make someone wear it--it's too good not to have someone wear it. We'd custom order one asap for someone to wear. It's just too good.
Overall, it's too boring AND too powerful.
This is a staff that functions as a bizarre, niche weapon, is full of boring spells, and comes with the ability to cast its spell if you have a ki pool. But, no class with a ki pool is going to care to use this. Ninja can already turn invisible and create mirror images. Monks can't flurry with it. Ventriloquism is worthless to everyone.
I like the idea of a staff that can be used by non-casters, and the ability to spend ki instead of charges is geat, but this item isn't interesting enough to bother.
If my party found this item, I can't figure out who would use it. Who would bother custom ordering it?
Overall, it's got a seed of a good idea, but kind of a boring execution.
Then, you make the main, unique ability dealing an extra d6 of damage on melee attacks? You're expecting someone holding a staff worth 98k to be making melee attacks with a +1 weapon because it deals 1d6 bonus damage? You need to be 14th level before you're getting this staff by WBL standards--there's no way in hell a 14th level character is going to be swinging a +1 Flaming weapon around (or Frost or Shocking or whatever).
If my party found this item, we'd sell it. I don't know who'd want to order it--some poor fool stuck playing a Staff Magus maybe?
Overall, nothing blatantly horrible, but nothing interesting or exciting either. It looks like you don't really understand how blasting works in Pathfinder (or rather, doesn't, for the most part). You made an item that as cool, but you didn't really think about how it worked.
The fact that this only does something once per day is another strike against it as far as I'm concerned.
If my party found this item, the only reason we'd keep it is if we had a Druid who couldn't yet afford some Wild armor (which, well, only costs about 16k, so that's unlikely). The only person that might custom order it would be a Druid that couldn't wait for a few thousand more gold or, well, I guess some kind of weird, bee/beekeeper themed character.
Overall, it's an ok item, but not very powerful, too niche, and too silly for me.
The good news is that I don't really care about description when I judge magic items. The bad news is that the rest of the item is impractical, despite some cool concepts.
The first ability is that, instead of shooting off a withering torrent of 5 or 6 arrows (WBL guidelines suggest you couldn't afford this until 13th level or so), you can make a single Bull Rush with a tiny bonus as your whole turn. Hooray? Bullrushes are weak to begin with, but, like all combat maneuvers, they are extremely unreliable without massive feat/item support, because CMD scales crazy high, crazy fast. That generally means a dueling impact weapon for Bullrushing, and this ain't that. CR 13 includes lots of dragons, Glabrezus, Froghemoths...you're not bullrushing those things without lots of help (which is extra sad because bullrushing isn't all that useful to begin with).
The next thing it does is, keeping in mind you're facing CR 13+ when you get this bow, summon a CR 4 creature once per day! This actually brings me back to the fact that you're expecting a person that can pay for a nearly 70k gp bow to be willing to fight with (effectively) a 9k bow so that they can use 60k worth of weak/hopelessly outdated abilities.
I do like the concept of combining in a special way with the Ring of the Ram--in fact, honestly, I like the concept of your bow all around. I'd love a bow that knocks people back away from you--that's the best bowazon enchant from Diablo 2! Everything is very imaginative and interesting, but, it just isn't practical. I feel like you got too wrapped up in theme and "how awesome this is!" and forgot to make it useful and realistically usable, too.
If my party found this item, I'd ride a really cool prehistoric elk to the magic item shop. Nobody would custom order this that I can think of.
Overall, well, I said it before. Creative and interesting? Yes! Worth having and using? Not at all.
The item's core power is basically using Magic Missile to shoot up to 10 missiles per day, up to 5 at a time (so, almost certainly, 5 missiles twice per day). That's...kind of crappy, honestly. Magic Missile is often a waste of a spell.
The secondary use isn't bad--you get a nice utility effect and learn a language, except, it probably won't help diplomacy. "Let us discuss the matter." "Is that a nasty old tooth flying around your head?" "Yeah, it taught me your language." "Gross."
My biggest problem with this, though, is how tedious it would be to keep an inventory of teeth, both for the PC and GM. Think about it, you're going to want to carry teeth around for every situation. If you kill something larger, you'll want all the teeth, which means the GM has to make up a number that it had and how many were destroyed in the fight, then you have to keep a list of how many of those teeth you still have in the rod vs. in you backpack. You'll want teeth from people who speak languages you don't know, which again, you must keep track of. Every single corpse you find is going to be a sidequest to find teeth. Pretty soon, the game revolves around teeth. No thank you.
If my party found this item, we'd give it to the guy with the least to do in combat, and he'd blow its charges on the way to the store. Nobody but a creepy tooth fetishist would custom order it.
Overall, it's too weird, it's not actually powerful at all, and it creates a bizarre minigame/toothtracker that nobody should want to deal with.
My only complaints would be:
1) Only once per day--I'd rather it be usable more often and provide a less profound change, than only once per day, but it does something totally amazing.
2) It doesn't say "willing" allies, which means you can grief your party with it if you're a douche
3) The armor itself costs only about 10k, and the abilities apparently cost 35k. That's a lot to spend on armor special abilities unrelated to protecting you. Further, it's full plate that isn't Mithril. That's a huge drawback from a practicality standpoint, as I've never seen anyone in metal armor that could afford to wear Mithril not wearing it. It's just too useful.
4) Actually, that's a good point--this is non-Mithril full plate. Who is wearing this? Fighters? Cavaliers? Paladins? None of those are the right flavor for this sort of ability. The only class I can think of that maybe makes it work is the Magus after they finally get Heavy Armor Proficiency.
If my party found this, I'd love to use it--unfortunately, only heavy armor users can, and I pretty much never play those. Even when I play a Paladin, I tend to play it as an archer or finesse type. I would custom order it if I played the right kind of character, but, I rarely ever do.
Overall, I had this on my keep list, but I probably shouldn't have because it's not especially practical when I further analyzed it. Very few concepts can make use of it and it costs way too much to see real use. I was just drawn in by its cool, tactical powers. Still, it's mostly good and just needs some tweaks to make it more usable.
Then, you include a 3 hour blind. That's nuts! Now, I know the spell its based on is permanent, but I hate that duration, too, sorry. It's admittedly clever to take the enemy's vision, but I think you could have taken it further. Instead of just limiting it to low light and darkvision, what if you got their perception ranks? Or better vision, like devil's sight or truesight? I don't know, it's just kind of lackluster now. Hell, the majority of PC races won't even get special vision from this because they already have it.
I also think you are missing a spell to give the PC special vision in your requirements--perhaps Alter Self?
If my party found this weapon, yeah, we'd sell it. It's way overpriced--a once/day, DC 13 blind is not worth 5k. At least you get a +2 weapon out of it, which is still useful and relevant to an 8th level character. I can't see anyone custom ordering this.
Overall, it's got a clever twist, conceptually, but it's not practical--too much money for too few uses with too low of a DC.
However, you lost me when it came to the details. First, you did the "miss by 1 or 2" thing, and I railed against that sort of thing up in my critique of the Weapon Trap Shield. It's not really logical, and it's definitely not how Pathfinder works or tracks anything. Second, you didn't include the Steal manever for some reason. The shield lets you pick pockets out of combat, but not in combat? Third, you add this weird detail about it being bothersome to find items inside, and assign some random time frames for finding/attuning to you. Uh, why? I just don't understand why you included that at all. Finally, who is this item for? Bucklers generally end up on casters and swashbucklers. Are you expecting this to be a Swashbuckler weapon? It seems oriented towards Rogues, which, obviously can't make much use of it.
If my party found this item, I think we'd just sell it. It's not bad, and it is actually properly/reasonably priced. I just don't especially care about its powers and don't expect anyone in the party would be equipped to use it, unless, I suppose, we needed more extra dimensional space. I can see a certain sort of character custom ordering it, but, I think there are some problems with it (the miss by 1 or 2 thing, for example), so, I wouldn't recommend it.
Overall, almost good. It needs some work and you need a better way to determine when you can use its disarming ability than tracking how much someone missed by.
...22) Courtier's Solitaire:
This is a boring +4 skill ring. Then, all of the sudden, it auto-detects everyone within a huge radius. WHAT?!I think finding the location of every enemy instantly is kind of unfair and ridiculous. It makes adventuring way too easy and safe.
If my party found this, we'd definitely make someone wear it--it's too good not to have someone wear it. We'd custom order one asap for someone to wear. It's just too good.
Overall, it's too boring AND too powerful.
Thanks for the review! Yeah, I lost focus on the illusion-adjusting-appearance-for-social-effect and got nailed for it. Playing it safe with simple bonuses for skills is a bad idea.
Thanks for the review! Yeah, I lost focus on the illusion-adjusting-appearance-for-social-effect and got nailed for it. Playing it safe with simple bonuses for skills is a bad idea....22) Courtier's Solitaire:
This is a boring +4 skill ring. Then, all of the sudden, it auto-detects everyone within a huge radius. WHAT?!I think finding the location of every enemy instantly is kind of unfair and ridiculous. It makes adventuring way too easy and safe.
If my party found this, we'd definitely make someone wear it--it's too good not to have someone wear it. We'd custom order one asap for someone to wear. It's just too good.
Overall, it's too boring AND too powerful.
I don't know, I actually like the illusion-adjusting-appearance-for-social-effect thing. I just think translating that as, effectively, straight +X to skill checks was the mistake.
For example, you could have had it directly adjust reactions up a category (either with a failed save or on a successful social skill check). Or, change your appearance to match the locals. Or it could calm emotions. If you wanted to get the "messenger traveling through hostile territory" feeling, you could have still given the ability to act in the surprise round without auto-detecting the location of enemies. And/or, it could activate a sanctuary effect in response to an ambush. I think the idea was solid, you just got too far into refluffing the skill mods and then went overboard with the secondary power (which was thematically connected to the courier concept in my mind, contrary to many others in this thread).
I don't know, I actually like the illusion-adjusting-appearance-for-social-effect thing. I just think translating that as, effectively, straight +X to skill checks was the mistake.
For example, you could have had it directly adjust reactions up a category (either with a failed save or on a successful social skill check). Or, change your appearance to match the locals. Or it could calm emotions. If you wanted to get the "messenger traveling through hostile territory" feeling, you could have still given the ability to act in the surprise round without auto-detecting the location of enemies. And/or, it could activate a sanctuary effect in response to an ambush. I think the idea was solid, you just got too far into refluffing the skill mods and then went overboard with the secondary power (which was thematically connected to the courier concept in my mind, contrary to many others in this thread).
Pretty much exactly my thoughts! Good to know I'm not entirely in the wilderness! :D
Page 3 critiques
Sleeper's Vessel: This had the germ of a neat idea in it, but it was also an odd one, I thought. A dagger turning someone else into gas seemed like a strange combo. The story made it make some sense, but also tends to be more back story than I want in my magic items (kudos, though, for not making the mistake of assuming only a specific group could make the weapon).
Ring Of Utmost Need: Once per week is annoying, since it means most of the time this is going to be useless. It's compounded by being a ring, since it means you just put it on once a week (sure, once in a while you need a skill mid-combat, but it's less common than moments when you have time to juggle rings) and the rest of the time don't bother. It also plays with skills, which tend not to be the most Superstar area of the game.
Cryohydra's Coil: I think I only saw this once during voting, though I did give you feedback pre-contest. I liked the theme of this one, but think you ended up playing it a little safe. I think finding a way to work the hydra-effect on the number of whips was the way to go, even if the original draft didn't quite work. It felt like a spell in a can in the end.
Arroweater Shield: I think this one just ended up being too confusing. Also, the main power seemed to need another magic item or two shields, and for the price of that, it just seemed not quite worth the trouble.
Thriving branch: This felt like a spell in a can to me with a 1/day entangle power. I liked the "fluff" of it (though it probably should have been greenwood), but just not enough here.
Breakaway Sword of Beguiling: I kind of liked this one, actually. I'm not 100 percent sure it qualifies as a weapon, but I didn't begrudge it that. That said, I think there's a lot going on with it, and the last paragraph probably gets to be too much (particularly the skill point, though why having certain hexes would effectively make it more powerful is also odd). And, as you said, the formatting mistakes probably all but doomed it from the get-go, but I'm sure you were kicking yourself for that.
Shillelagh of Legions: Scott knows my thoughts on this. I liked the item and thought it was neat to be able to use the personal spells on the summoned creatures.
HERMETIC ARMOR: All-caps name annoys me, but you redeem yourself quickly with a nice description (that said, I think innkeepers would start kicking out anyone they saw wearing this armor -- no way you're dripping caustic liquid on my chairs and floors again, Black Thom!). I think this is something fun I might have a character use, but it felt like it was basically an alchemist in a can. I think adding in the last power also made it feel very SAK to me -- whenever you see/use the word "lastly," it's a sign you may be tacking on too much.
I was less concerned about the thing being flung than the thing it was flung into. You need to successfully touch a guy to hurl them 60', but I can unerringly hurl them into an enemy 60' away--that second guy gets no defense.
I don't think it's that big a deal, though, since the damage involved is so small.
I was less concerned about the thing being flung than the thing it was flung into. You need to successfully touch a guy to hurl them 60', but I can unerringly hurl them into an enemy 60' away--that second guy gets no defense.
I don't think it's that big a deal, though, since the damage involved is so small.
The target would get a Reflex save (per the hit-by-falling object rules). That damage actually can get fairly high if you're throwing a big enough solid object -- that's part of the reason I didn't allow Colossal targets to be affected (as you would otherwise be able to do 10d6 damage to a fairly big area).
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So, what am I looking for, here, when I judge these items? Well, my crtique is going to be a little different than most others because my primary focus is on rules knowledge, clarity/simplicity, and usability. You can come up with the most creative item on the planet, but if nobody is going to actually use it in a real game, who cares? And it doesn't matter if nobody uses it because it's obviously too strong, too weak for its price, too confusing/complicated to actually adjudicate at the table, or just too niche to have an actual target audience.
What I am generally not looking at is flavor text. Descriptions of your item will only hurt if the item evokes imagery I dislike. I care about theme, of course, but a crow item that blinds and has pilfering hand in it is thematic enough--I don't need to read about what different kinds of dark wood were used and how many crow parts are sticking out of it. Honestly, I'm just going to describe your item however I like when I run the game anyway.
Finally, know that I did not read any other critiques of your item yet. These are all my first thoughts based only on the item itself, so, I apologize if I repeat things others have said already.
Now, let's get to it!
The biggest stumbling block(not the only one--there's still a question of line of sight and its effects on cover/concealment, flanking, etc., to address) for me, I think, is that your best move is almost certainly attacking your own front-line melee with it first (preferably on round -1 in preparation for a fight), so, you can stand way back and still land melee attacks on the bad guys. That just doesn't feel right to me--I shouldn't be hitting my own guys with my weapon, no matter what magical weirdness is involved.
However, you were clever here--or, well, I'm assuming you were, it could have been random--because you made this weapon that helps people who want to make melee attacks while staying far away from the front line and you made it a Longspear, the classic weapon for back-up melee like Bards, Oracles, etc. Subtle moves like that make superstars in my opinion as it shows you really understand the metagame.
If my party found this, we'd definitely give it to our backup melee/support (though, admittedly, in the game I'm in now, we don't have any). Lots of fragile, 3/4 BAB, simple weapon users would custom order something like this.
Overall, if you can clean up a few issues (the seemingly random DC, some clarity with how attacking from another's space really works), I think you could be a superstar designer for sure.
What's wrong, I think, is that you spent a lot of words explaining what this projection does and does not do, but you used the wrong words. There were a lot of other things that needed explaining that you left open, while you overexplained stuff that didn't need it. It can flank and uses my weapon and attack bonuses. Does it get my feats (probably not, by the RAW, but why?). Is it a force effect like its parent spell? Do you need to wield a shield when you activate the ability, or continuously (i.e., if I hold a shield when I turn it on and then drop my shield, does the projection continue to get extra AoOs?)?
If my party found this, we'd give it to whoever had the best weapon, for sure, especially if there was a shield guy. It controls space, and does so decently for its price. There would be custom orders for this, but its no sure thing by any stretch, which is a good place for an item, power wise.
Overall, it's above average, but needs to use its word count better and provide more clarity in certain areas. It's good without being too powerful, but, it's not super inventive. Good job, but it could have been better, I guess.
I like the general effect, and it flows well from description to mechanics. Honestly, great job. However, this is a 24k item (meaning, you're level 10 before you get one of these). At that point, a DC 13 just isn't going to cut it. As I've said before during critiques, you calculated the DC "correctly" (and probably the price, too), but the "correct" value is not always a practical one.
Unfortunately, if my party found this item, we'd have to sell it because we don't fight crowds of commoners or whatever. Nobody would custom order this unless we had vastly higher WBL than normal (like, it'd be great for a level 1 or 2 character).
Overall, great concept, poor execution. I think like many, many people, you failed to think about how this would actually work in play/
That said, its only abilities are kind of awful for someone throwing 35k gold around (11th level or so). Tripping someone at level 11 takes serious dedication. You need the feats, probably a dueling weapon (i.e. not this one), size boosts (which penalize archery), and some other class bonuses to trip because CMD scales CRAZY high. Maybe even a True Strike. Tying the uses per day to successful trips, rather than trip attempts is courteous to the wielder, but, it's just not how Pathfinder works/is written. You always count attempts with these sorts of items (you're not going to succeed anyway, don't worry).
You can also use the Ground Breaker rage power. You have to beat the ground's hardness with your arrow, which is far from automatic, and then you make difficult terrain in a 3x3 square. That's actually really cool and useful (difficult terrain can control battlefields) except:
1) You randomly changed the save for some reason--Groundbreaker specifically lists a DC 15. Why make it 14?
2) You're level 11 by the time you get this bow, which is when difficult terrain mostly stops mattering, as enemies fly, teleport, featherstep, have crazy reach so they don't need to move, etc.
The damage your difficult terrain makes is a joke. At level 11, you probably won't even bypass their DR. Plus, you force two saves in a row (one to fall, and one to take damage) which is sloppy--it should just be a single save to determine both.
Further, as I've said in past critiques, a +1 weapon does not cut it when you have 35k gold lying around for a single item. The actual weapon part of your magical weapon is worth roughly 3k. Buying 3k worth of weapon with 32k worth of special abilities attached is not a good deal. I would say you should, as a general rule, spend at least half of the item's total budget on the weapon or armor itself.
If my party found this weapon, we'd sell it. Any archers would have much better bows by then. Nobody would custom order this at the level a normal character could afford it (if it were significantly cheaper--in the range for a 6th level character maybe, you'd have a real audience, though).
Overall, another item that was good in theory, but didn't think through how it would really get used in a real game.
I really do like rerouting attacks and sucking people into portals, but you need to give the enemy a chance to stop this. You have, right now, an item that lets you completely negate any attack, automatically, three times per day. That's crazy on its own, but you also get to pick a new target for the attack--no way is that ok. The second ability is slighly less problematic because you have to actually bullrush them, but it still feels like a save is in order.
I can't comment on usability or price because its ability simply shouldn't be, for any price. Nothing in Pathfinder should be automatic with no resistance/defense.
Overall, good concept, sloppy execution
However, much like my own item, it does try to fix something about Pathfinder that is broken, by patching over the flaw with a magic item bandaid, and I have grown to realize that is not the proper way to fix things. That's my only explanation as to why this didn't make the top 32, unless people generally didn't understand what it did or why it did it.
You do start things out right by making it a Mithril Chain Shirt. All serious metal armor wearers use Mithril. But, then, you pack 15k worth of special abilities onto a 2k armor chassis. Uh-oh. So, what does this 15k get you? In the hands of a clever party that each own a suit of this stuff, they almost have "ignore pretty much every wall ever!" The reason that's "almost" is that you gave them no special senses whatsoever to navigate with while in the stone.
What's with the climb penalty? You can just seep through the stone itself and go 10' straight up, anyway, right? Since when is climbing "open space?" Otherwise, this is just full of really sloppy writing and weak rules knowledge, including but not limited to:
1) Swim speeds customarily come with +8 racial bonuses to the Swim skill
2) Having the water and earth subtypes as a Humanoid basically does nothing except letting you breath underwater, which you should probably mention anyway.
3) You can detect the amount and type of mineral within 60', but not its location?
4) I can't cast spells with components or physically attack, but could I use a supernatural attack, such as Channel Energy?
5) Merging with the background should be Stealth, not Disguise.
6) Giving a bonus to "creatures with the dwarf subtype" is really awkward--you can pretty much just say dwarves
7) You usually need to use abilities measured in minutes in 1-minute or 10-minute intervals. Counting up 50 rounds (and not counting the transformation rounds) is going to get silly.
8) The Climb penalty is bizarre, the actual speed of the form is confusing (can it move at all except through rocks? Can it only go down through rocks, or can it move in 3D?
9) The seeping through rock thing should really have been a Burrow or Earthglide speed.
This is too sloppy to realistically rate in practical terms because it's not totally usable in its current form. Overall, ok idea, but it needs a lot of refinement and polish before it could be considered for anything.
It's a +2 Heavy Crossbow that functions like a Stonebow (yes, shooting sling bullets and stones is already a thing in the game) except it takes longer to load because it's "really" a heavy crossbow and deals less damage because it does the damage of a sling. It can also function like a Launching Crossbow, except with shorter range and a random penalty to hit for some reason.
The "big amazing thing" this weapon does, is, 3/day, you can deal 2d6+1 damage (8 average) with 1/4 the range increment it would normally have. This somehow manages to cost 5k more than a regular +2 Heavy Crossbow, even though a regular Heavy Crossbow deals 1d10+2 (7.5 average). You could also have just made a +2 Stonebow, which would deal 1d6+2 (5.5 average) that can be reloaded more easily and still outranges the special ooze shot.
I just can't figure out what you were going for here. Did you not know those other weapons existed? Did you really think 2d6+1 was something special and awesome? The description of this item housing a specially preserved ooze really fall flat when that ooze does almost nothing AND has limited uses per day.
If we found this item, we'd sell it. Nobody would order it.
Overall, this just doesn't make sense. It's a Heavy Crossbow that uses no Heavy Crossbow stats at all, instead acting as two different weapons that already exist, with a 3/day ability that deals about .5 average damage more than a weapon that is 5,000 gold cheaper.
It overcomes DR as cold iron or silver. You know how else it could have done that? Just making it a +3 weapon. Say, a +3 Keen Frost Longsword? Creatures immune to illusions take only 1 damage from Icy Burst--I'm actually not aware of any creatures immune to illusions. Even truesight and such sees through them, rather than granting actual immunity.
Blur after moving is basically just a slightly expanded version of the Wind Stance feat.
Then, we get to what the item really does: cast Shadow Evocation 3/day, as long as you kill stuff with some regularity. That's...not a sword, that's a rod, or maybe a limited staff. You just rammed two items together and called it a day. Don't get me wrong, Shadow Evocation is a great spell, but I'm level 15 before I'm realistically seeing this item, and there's no 15th level character fighting with a +2 sword just so they can cast a 5th level spell 3 times per day.
It's also written sloppily (mostly awkward phrasing/word choice and poor flow) and has some formatting errors (like not italicizing spells in the requirements).
Overall, not so good, sorry.
The ability is interesting, but, unrealistic. You're not reversing any AoOs unless they miss--Reflex saves are so much lower than AC, you are unlikely to reverse anything that could have hit you otherwise. It's too much of a gamble for me--you have to risk attacks in order to maybe get an attack back, assuming they roll terribly and/or you roll amazing. And provoking AoOs is not as easy as you'd think. You would have to keep moving around a lot, which kills your ability to get full attacks.
Otherwise, it functions as kind of a pseduo cross of Panther and Snake Style. It's...ok. I don't like inviting extra attacks and gambling that they'll miss so I can get free swings in (maybe--Reflex saves that high are no joke unless I have several classes with good Reflex saves) especially since it generally will cost me attacks anyway. It's too risky to be worth doing.
If my party found this, we'd sell it. I bet you could make entire builds based around this item, but I am personally not that interested in them.
Overall, this is on the upper end of average. Nothing glaringy wrong, nifty idea, but, it's just too risky as is.
*clears throat* OH, YEAAHH!
The obvious joke has concluded.
That being said, I actually do like this item. It has great cinematic potential and I know at least a couple of my players would love to have this, even though it is a bit cumbersome, especially for a non-mithril heavy armor meant for higher levels. Unfortunately it has some balance problems, like the ranged touch attack. That's rather powerful for that amount of damage, and when I think about catapult stones, I don't think pinpoint precision. Plus the one per day is a bit of a letdown. Personally I'd prefer a version, which is usable three times per day, but with less reliable hits and perhaps lesser damage. Also, I'm sure that it being an item that can potentially kill you instantly cost you some votes. I'm not a huge fan of that addition either, although it would be very unlikely to happen. All in all it has potential, but it's a bit rough around the edges.
Thanks to all who commented on my item Mithral Shirt of Concealment.
A few comments on my own item. I didn't think I had a chance.
Original name was Shirt of the Unseen Traveler
I wanted to make it a recharge item instead of a once/day. I just couldn't figure out the requirement with the time given.
It was inspired by the spell Time Stop.
Thanks again it was helpful and I might be in touch with some of you after I make an edit or two.
@mplindustries - HA! I see why you had to put the disclaimer about not intending to be a jerk in your reviews. Kinda like saying "I don't mean to be rude, but your fat."
Thanks for nothing.
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@mplindustries - HA! I see why you had to put the disclaimer about not intending to be a jerk in your reviews. Kinda like saying "I don't mean to be rude, but your fat."
Thanks for nothing.
It should actually be "you're fat." ;)
I really do mean what I said in the disclaimer. I'm not trying to hurt anyone's feelings, I want them to get better. Your item was very problematic--if nobody told you that, you'd be likely to do it again next year.
And you know what? Nobody else told you that. I just now looked through the other critiques of your item and nobody actually analyzed what it did. One came close, speaking briefly on the lack of clarity on the buried thing, but most just said something along the lines, "this is not a staff, and you got DQed. Keep on truckin'!"
Going with your analogy, that's kind of like if a 50 year old, 300 lbs. woman in lingerie says, "Why didn't I win the swimsuit modeling contract?!" And everyone in the room just looks down and says, "Oh, probably because that's not technically a swimsuit...better luck next year!"
I actually read the entry and thought about it and pointed out where the issues were. If this were a rod that actually fit within the word limit, it's not as if it would suddenly be on the fast track to the winner's circle.
I don't want you to feel bad, I want you to see where you went wrong and fix it.
@mplindustries - HA! I see why you had to put the disclaimer about not intending to be a jerk in your reviews. Kinda like saying "I don't mean to be rude, but your fat."
Thanks for nothing.
It should actually be "you're fat." ;)
I really do mean what I said in the disclaimer. I'm not trying to hurt anyone's feelings, I want them to get better. Your item was very problematic--if nobody told you that, you'd be likely to do it again next year.
And you know what? Nobody else told you that. I just now looked through the other critiques of your item and nobody actually analyzed what it did. One came close, speaking briefly on the lack of clarity on the buried thing, but most just said something along the lines, "this is not a staff, and you got DQed. Keep on truckin'!"
Going with your analogy, that's kind of like if a 50 year old, 300 lbs. woman in lingerie says, "Why didn't I win the swimsuit modeling contract?!" And everyone in the room just looks down and says, "Oh, probably because that's not technically a swimsuit...better luck next year!"
I actually read the entry and thought about it and pointed out where the issues were. If this were a rod that actually fit within the word limit, it's not as if it would suddenly be on the fast track to the winner's circle.
I don't want you to feel bad, I want you to see where you went wrong and fix it.
To be fair regarding other critiques, I give each item maybe 2-3 minutes on a re-read. I judge based on that. You gave an in depth review that I'd expect from someone in the industry if I published the item professionally. To someone new getting critiqued that's going to sting.
@Papasteve08 she did you a favor, that was feedback you needed to hear. I stand by my review in that I see potential but you also have to learn to accept criticism with grace in this industry. I think perhaps you intended to com off as humorous and cheeky but it can also come off butt-hurt, beware the written word.
mpl's feedback generally comes from an optimization angle that I understand (and care about as a player), but isn't necessarily the one of mass appeal in RPGSS that I've noticed.
It's very difficult to make items that are on par with flat bonuses to Important Things, but also interesting and don't go over the line in pricing. Things of that nature are usually "fix" items that allow more efficiency by circumventing dependence on stats, feats, etc, rather than things that offer breadth in another direction.