Wren Brown RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16 , Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Rusty Ironpants |
Okay now that submissions are closed, it should be okay to post some of the items that we were thinking about submitting but did not.
So post items that you liked but ultimately lost out to the item you submitted. And post why you didn't go with this item.
Remember not to give away anything about the item you did submit!
Below is my shot a creating a staff. I ended up not using it for two reasons - 1) too much of a niche item and 2) the pricing was really just a SWAG.
All comments and criticisms welcome.
Aura strong universal; CL 17th
Slot none; Price 95,000 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
If a wizard or other spell caster with the Arcane Bond class feature takes a wizard’s staff as their bonded object it provides the following benefits in addition to the normal benefits provided by all bonded objects, otherwise it provides no special benefits. A wizard’s staff can be used with the Hand of the Apprentice ability to make a melee attack, in which case it strikes as a +3 club. When selected as a bonded object, a wizard’s staff allows the use of the following spells if the spell caster could normally cast them:
- light (0 charges)
- mage hand (0 charges)
- read magic (0 charges)
- Any 1st or 2nd level spell in the spell caster’s spellbook (1 charge)
- Any 3rd or 4th level spell in the spell caster’s spellbook (2 charges)
- Any 5th or 6th level spell in the spell caster’s spellbook (3 charges)
- Any 7th or 8th level spell in the spell caster’s spellbook (4 charges)
- Any 9th level spell in the spell caster’s spellbook (5 charges)
A wizard’s staff cannot be further enchanted like a normal bonded object.
Construction
Requirements Craft Staff, light, mage hand, read magic, Arcane Bond (Bonded Object) class feature; Cost 47,500 gp
hmmm, make that three reasons 3) needs a better name.
cwslyclgh Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8 |
The two items that I briefly thought about and rejected before going with my actual entry were:
A set of armor that allowed the wearer to shadow-blend and gave a few other darkness related abilities... rejected because I figured there would be a lot of competition in that niche.
and
A crossbow that caused its bolts to do bludgeoning damage and made an automatic trip attempt against those that were hit. rejected mainly because I couldn't come up with a name I liked for it in under five minutes.
I'd post statblocks but neither of them got past the rough planning stage.
Garrett Guillotte Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8 |
1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Mindswept Arrow
Aura faint enchantment; CL 4th
Slot none; Price 750 gp; Weight 1/10 lb.
Description
This +1 arrow's partially sanded birch shaft is dotted with green moss and inscribed with a line of incomplete script, as though its crafter forgot to finish her work.
If the arrow's wielder speaks its command word before firing it, a struck target must succeed at a DC 16 Will save or suffer 1 round of amnesia. If the target fails its Will save by 5 or more points, the duration increases to 5 rounds.
An amnesic target forgets all of its memories for the duration, including its name, but can create new ones. It takes a –4 penalty to all Will saving throws and skill checks and temporarily loses all class abilities, feats, and skill ranks. Other creatures can also retry Diplomacy, Intimidate, and opposed skill checks against the target for the duration. This is a mind-affecting insanity effect.
Intact mindswept arrows can be recovered and reused, but an arrow's owner is unable to recall or re-learn its command word for 1 day after its last use.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, memory lapse; Cost 375 gp
Starglim Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8 |
1 person marked this as a favorite. |
frank gori RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral |
Auramoderate abjuration, divination, and conjuration and minor illusion; CL 7th
Slot weapon; Price 72,080 gp; Weight 4 lbs.
Description
A large circular piece of obsidian affixed to the stock is the only adornment of this stained +2 phase locking darkwood heavy crossbow.
The obsidian can be used like a short range (40ft radius) scrying spell, as a standard action to begin a swift to maintain.
Three times a day the crossbow can fire a bolt through a dimension door that appears from the end of the scrying point. This can be used to circumvent cover, catch a foe flat-footed, or simply remain hidden from sight. The archer may also elect to project an illusionary image of themselves when triggering the dimensional door ability.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, dimension door, silent image; Cost 36,080 gp
Lots of cool factor but figured it would get labeled a portal crossbow, it had some unclear text, and most damming I felt it too thematically similar to last year's submission from me Shadow Archer's Gage
Aura ; CL th
Slot ; Price gp; Weight lbs.
Description
This +2 heavy steel shield has a highly stylized image of a Chimera embossed on the face of the shield.
Once a day with a command word the the central head will interchange between Goat, Dragon, and Lion activating different powers.
The Lion’s Head transforms the shield into a Lion’s Shield with the additional effect of granting pounce.
The Dragon’s Head gains the selected breath weapon ability of a Chimera except the shield also grans 10 ressitence to the breath weapon selected.
The Ram’s Head grants the Improved Bull rush feat except you can also damage a foe with a 1d8 + 1 and ½ Strength piercing damage shield bash
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, ZZspells, ZZotherrequirements; Cost ZZ gp
I like it tactically but it was a balancing act to get this away form being a monster in a can or too SAK. It's a cool idea but it had 2 logical conclusions 1) being over powered or 2) having all the cool editted right out of it.
Garrick Williams RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 16 , Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8 aka Cyrad |
It just doesn't utilize its word count effectively.
Aura moderate varies; CL 10th
Slot –; Price 30,340 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
The sterling head of this checkered staff resembles that of a large tuning fork. The staff allows use of the following spells:
- Blur (1 charge)
- Displacement (2 charges)
- Mirror image (1 charges)
By expending 3 charges, the wielder can touch a willing creature with the head of the staff, causing both it and the creature to vibrate with a resonating chime. The subject vibrates with such intensity to split into two oscillating images, each one occupying an adjacent space. The subject may take actions and perform attacks from either image’s position, each image threatening and capable of flanking.
Attacks, spells, and other abilities can target either image to affect the subject. However, attacks have a 50% miss chance, and spells that target the creature have a 50% chance of failing unless the spellcaster has sight of both images. Spells and abilities that affect multiple creatures cannot subject the creature more than once as a result of occupying two spaces for the same reasons multiple target and area spells affect a Large creature no differently from a Medium creature.
The effect ends when the staff stops vibrating after 1 minute, the subject taking the position of one image of his choice. Dimensional anchor suppresses the effect and causes the subject to randomly end up in either image’s position. The staff may oscillate only one creature at a time.
Construction
Requirements Craft Staff, blur, displacement, mirror image; Cost 15,170 gp
Not as developed as my entry. My pit crew also informed me that similar items appeared in previous years.
Aura XXX; CL XXX
Slot –; Price XX gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
The haft of this +1 ghost touch javelin appears covered with haggard ethereal chains that emit light as a candle.
After a successful thrown ranged attack, the weapon embeds into the ground, causing the chains to reach out towards nearby victims like grasping hands. Creatures within 15 feet must succeed on a DC 15 Reflex save or become entangled in chains tethered to the weapon. The javelin poses no harm to additional creatures that approach it.
Each round while tethered, creatures cannot move away from the javelin unless they succeed on a DC 18 Strength check. On a failed check, the unearthly chains respond by dragging the victim 5 feet towards the weapon into an unoccupied adjacent space, if one exists.
A tethered creature can free themselves as a full round action by succeeding on a DC 23 Strength check or a DC 23 Escape Artist check. The chains automatically relinquish victims that move 30 feet from the javelin. A creature can pull the javelin free with a successful DC 28 Strength check, releasing all tethered creatures. The individual that threw the weapon automatically succeeds on this check.
The chains affect incorporeal creatures as if they possessed the ghost touch quality. These creatures make Charisma checks instead of Strength checks to interact with the bindings.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, dimensional anchor, snare; Cost XX gp
frank gori RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral |
1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Wizard's Staff- Not bad for a staff but my main bug bear would be how broad a spell list that thing would have had. I liked the bit with being a +3 club with hand of the apprentice and if you ever want to use this somewhere that's where I"d focus.
Shadowblend Armor- good call that one was super obvious
The crossbow- I'd have gone with specialty ammo for that concept instead
Mindswept Arrow- pretty cool, but it seems a little understated for the competition. I'd use it though.
Axe of Auguries- 3 hits on one years drinking contest (runes, blood item, augury.) Between those and the percentage of it actually doing it's special thing this would have run up against a bunch of the voter bugbears we saw in the Ramble thread last year. I personally appreciate the Norse spirit in which it was designed and hope that your other item does well.
Staff of Oscillating Presence- worst bit is the name, your pit crew was good to steer you away I've seen this as an orb, a tuning fork, ect... Best version I've seen but still wouldn't upvote.
Ghost Chain Javelin- cool but the sticks into the ground then tries to entangle a ghost is weird. Maybe if it hits it grabs onto nearby surfaces like a web spell? This could have been superstar with more time and devo effort.
** Edited to include Garrick
Jarrett Sigler RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Dedicated Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka Tothric |
Bonds of Brotherhood
Aura: Faint Abjuration; CL 4; Weight -; Slot: Ring; Price: 4850 per ring.
Each copper-plated ring is embossed with a kneeling figure on it, with hands extended to the sides. These rings are constructed as part of a set, and each ring has one charge per day.
When a wearer of a ring would be afflicted with a wound that render them unconscious, the wearer may give that damage to another wearer of a ring that is part of that set by expending the charge. Each wearer is given the ability to accept or deny the incoming wound. Should each wearer deny the incoming wound all wearers of the set take full damage.
Wearing two rings in the same set, does not give the wearer an additional charge per day. However should a single person bear a ring from two sets, the user may consume each ring’s charge at different times.
Creation Requirements:
Forge Ring; Shield Other, PRICE: 2425 gp per ring.
If anyone wants to give me feed back on this item, I would really appreciate it.
Sorry, I don't know how to do the spoiler HTML tags. :-/
Anthony Adam Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9 |
2 people marked this as a favorite. |
Here's some feedback ;)
All of you posting in this thread are games designer BEASTS!
How you found the time to create multiple submissions to choose from in that timescale I will never know.
Wow, just wow.
Monica Marlowe RPG Superstar 2015 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka mamaursula |
1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Okay now that submissions are closed, it should be okay to post some of the items that we were thinking about submitting but did not...
If a wizard or other spell caster with the Arcane Bond class feature takes a wizard’s staff as their bonded object it provides the following benefits in addition to the normal benefits provided by all bonded objects, otherwise it provides no special benefits. A wizard’s staff can be used with the Hand of the Apprentice ability to make a melee attack, in which case it strikes as a +3 club. When selected as a bonded object, a wizard’s staff allows the use of the following spells if the spell caster could normally cast them:
...
I have no runner up item and next year, whoever starts this thread, can we please call it "The Island of Misfit Items?" Only because I'm a nerd.
Okay, so on to your staff. I do not review mechanics, because I am weak in mechanics. I do review on your writing style.
Your item introduction and explanation is excessively rambling.
Do not start off with "If", your free text must be active and energized, it must grab yours reader's attention. Consider starting off with something like this -
"The spell caster who takes this staff as their bonded object with the Arcane Bond class feature is afforded the following spells..."
Not only will this save you a TON of words (your first sentence has 32 words in it), opening with "spell caster" instead of wizard opens your staff up and doesn't feel niche. The sentence that you introduce the spells with is 24 words, my sentence above is 22 words long, saving you a net 34 words, 10% of the total possible word count.
Your first line makes the staff sound like there is no benefit to choosing the staff as their bonded item. You even say those words "it provides no special benefits", while that is not what you mean, your text is not inviting to the reader and tells them to put this item aside and find something more exciting.
After the spells, include the melee uses. This isn't a melee weapon, it's a magic item, get to the interesting part for magic users upfront, then let them know how they can conk someone over the head with their+3 club when the magic runs out.
Put the limitation at the end, don't break up the active narrative. You sort of did, your last sentence after saying all the really cool stuff should be like this -
"A wizard’s staff provides all normal benefits of a bonded object except that it may not be receive further enchantments."
benjamin wilkins RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 8 aka Angry Wiggles |
Aura moderate conjuration; CL 5th
Slot shield; Price 10,505 gp; Weight 2 1/2 lbs.
Description
This +1 mithral buckler is unusually chipped and marred. It's outer surface is covered in a myriad of chemical burns and discolorations. This buckler will rapidly expand to intercept incoming splash weapons. So long as the wearer of this buckler is not denied their dexterity bonus to AC, they only take half of the splash damage of splash weapons. In addition, three times per day, the bearer can ignore all damage and effects of a splash weapon's direct hit, as though using Deflect Arrows. This effect does not require the user to have a free hand. The wearer cannot benefit from this effect more than once per round.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Deflect Arrows, creator must have evasion class feature; Cost 6,005 gp
I really liked putting this item together, but it was honestly one of the brainstorming ideas that my wife threw my way. Credit should technically be hers. That being said, it's not very polished and I'm not certain I balanced pricing right on this.
frank gori RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral |
Bonds of Brotherhood- The problem with this item is the novelty of it requires 2 rings be purchased kind of like Friend shield. Items like this lose their merit for certain types of gamers (like pathfinder society.) There's a bit of a tendency for some folk to shop items like their characters rather than looking for design.
Alchemist's Umbrella- I really hope you're actual item is better because I love this one. Your wife should enter the contest because if that's one of her throw away items... Seriously I want to vote for this thing, I'd certainly throw it in my keep folder. Also shout out to a fellow guide writer, good to see you on board.
P33J Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7 |
Blinking Eye of the Abyss
aura strong divination; CL 9th
Slot shield; Price 72,000 gp; Weight 2 ½ lbs
Description
This +2 mithral buckler buckler is emblazoned with an burning eye that seems to follow anyone looking at it. When the wearer is the target of a ranged attack, the unnerving appearance forces the attacker to look away, granting the wearer partial cover. Additionally, whenever the wearer is the target of a gaze attack or any ability that forces the attacker to study the target, the eye on the shield stares directly at the attacker and the attacker must make a DC 17 Will Save or suffer 2 points of wisdom damage and is shaken for 5 rounds. If the attacker makes the save, she still is shaken for 5 rounds.
Construction
Requirements contact other plane; Cost 36,000 gp
This was actually the item I wanted to submit at the price I wanted to submit, but I couldn't make the pricing work. It should be over 100k according to the rules. And I thought that was way too much to get anyone to buy it.
Oh well.
Genuine Dedicated Voter Season 8 |
My two rejected ideas (not even sort of formatted, never got beyond a conceptual stage):
I also considered having it function like gloves of storage, allowing you to put the item you wanted into the ring.
Then I realized I had been reading too much Justice League, cause those were just versions of GL's power ring and Flash's uniform ring.
Joseph Kellogg RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka RainyDayNinja |
Some of my discarded ideas were:
-A shield that you powered up by spending rounds of rage
-A magical blowgun/poisoned sand tube that would make poisons more effective (but I couldn't come up with any other abilities that didn't fit better for a wondrous item)
-A staff that could be activated and recharged by spending uses of martial flexibility, inspiration, and/or panache. But I could never put together a spell list I was satisfied with.
benjamin wilkins RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 8 aka Angry Wiggles |
** spoiler omitted **
Thank'ye kindly for the encouraging words. I don't think she truly would have enjoyed entering, though. Her work keeps her far too busy, mine typically does as well. She does like to feed me ideas to keep me in a writing mood. I did briefly consider submitting the umbrella, but as it wasn't initially my idea, it felt somewhat dishonest. I am fairly pleased with my submission, though. I am certain that it will do as well as I would otherwise deserve to do in the contest. That is really all I could ask for.
And thanks again! It's good to be on board. The leap from writing of one sort to writing of the other was far less intimidating than I initially thought.
michael patrick RPG Superstar 2014 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka michaeljpatrick |
Aura faint transmutation; CL 3rd
Slot ZZslot; Price zzgp; Weight 15 lbs.
Description
This suit of +1 leather gives its wearer the ability to become malleable and shapeless for up to 5 rounds per day. While in this state the wearer can move through an area as small as one-quarter its space without squeezing or one-eighth its space when squeezing.
Once per day the wearer can ignore precision damage (like sneak attacks) from a single attack or a single critical hit.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, alter self, Cost zzgp
I searched to see if there was any specific armor like this and found nothing. Then I realized that there were special abilities for armor listed that can do similar things so I didn't get around to finishing.
I'm glad because I like my second idea more.
frank gori RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral |
Blinking Eye of the Abyss- How to make this cheaper and do what you want? The eye pens 3 times a day creating a mind fog or confusion effect in blabla bla area of effect. You were going with eye that makes you mad right? Cool idea for a shiled a few more passes and the right execution and that could ahve been a winner. I'm right there with you on lamaented it not making the cut.
Hookshot- pretty sure I've seen this done as a gauntlet but without more its hard to give you feedback.
Weapon Ring- yeah it is neat but... I want my ring slot to be a ring slot, good call on going with something else.
Rage based shield- depends on what you mean by powered
blowgun that poisons- here's the cool version of that: blowgun that transforms darts into wasps that deliver the poison
Staff of baddassery- Truestrike, hydrolic push, tripping hand, thunderstomp
Armor of the Shapeless one- Too similar to boneless leather in my opinion.
coin purse sap- all I can think of is Hommie the clown.
Updated to include Michael and David
David S. McCrae |
1 person marked this as a favorite. |
I had an idea for a sap that was also a coin-purse. Then you could have use the money held in it to increase the enhancement bonus to it, or add bonus to the damage die. But I couldn't figure out for the life of me what spells would be used for the construction requirements.
I might still try to make it anyway for this thread for fun.
Jacob W. Michaels RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka motteditor |
This was actually the item I wanted to submit at the price I wanted to submit, but I couldn't make the pricing work. It should be over 100k according to the rules. And I thought that was way too much to get anyone to buy it.
For future reference, sometimes the official pricing by the rules doesn't work. My 2012 item, the haunting glass, was I think one-quarter the price it should have been per the rules. Considering your item is pretty different than the spell you chose (I might actually have looked for a different spell to base it on...), you'd have been fine cutting the price, IMO.
Some of my discarded ideas were:
-A staff that could be activated and recharged by spending uses of martial flexibility, inspiration, and/or panache. But I could never put together a spell list I was satisfied with.
I was musing about something like this in another thread after someone (maybe you?) mentioned a staff based on fighter abilities and wishing I'd thought of it earlier. IMO, if someone submitted a staff using those mechanics, they're definitely on the right path toward Superstar. I'd have to see the whole item, obviously, but I'd be very intrigued. Ki also could work well, perhaps.
Kiel Howell RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka theheadkase |
Here we are:
Life Gouging Rod
Aura moderate necromancy; CL 7th
Slot —; Price 64,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
Ivory tiles form two arcs around the mottled green-gray wooden shaft, four pieces of ivory sickeningly forming points and the outline of a fanged mouth. The head of the rod ends in a mass of thorny, glistening protrusions. The life gouging rod acts as a +1 club, once per round a successful melee attack causes no damage but subjects the target to the enervation spell. Every negative level bestowed on a target as a result of this causes another stickily glistening thorn to punch through the protrusion on the head of the rod to a maximum of twenty thorns.
Each thorn may be carefully broken off and used to tip darts and bolts. Any dart or bolt tipped with one of these thorns gains the seeking and stalking weapon special abilities, even though it is ammunition and not a ranged weapon.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Craft Rod, enervation; Cost 32,000 gp
I'll do some reviews probably around lunchtime.
Cthulhudrew Star Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 |
Two items that I had considered (both based on stories/games of mine):
I discarded the first as I figured there might be a lot of different flaming weapons, and the specific one that I was inspired by was really very tied to a particular campaign setting (the Savage Coast/Red Steel setting of Mystara).
The second I discarded due to the similarity with glamered armor (although that works slightly differently), and it is one of the signature items of a particular character from a (Golarion-related) story I am writing and while cool in that respect, might not be as interesting to voters or even superstar enough for this competition.
pH unbalanced Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9 |
I was musing about something like this in another thread after someone (maybe you?) mentioned a staff based on fighter abilities and wishing I'd thought of it earlier. IMO, if someone submitted a staff using those mechanics, they're definitely on the right path toward Superstar. I'd have to see the whole item, obviously, but I'd be very intrigued. Ki also could work well, perhaps.
And you'd have a guaranteed sale to my Staff Magus/Monk...
frank gori RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral |
headcase- is in my pit crew he knows my opinion on this runner.
Bloodflame sword- prolly a good call it treads into over familiar ground for fantasy fans. The hungry sword is totally a trope.
Chameleon Cassock- I agree with your assessment it is similar to glamored armor, it would need a better hook.
JJ Jordan |
I had an idea for a sap that was also a coin-purse. Then you could have use the money held in it to increase the enhancement bonus to it, or add bonus to the damage die. But I couldn't figure out for the life of me what spells would be used for the construction requirements.
I might still try to make it anyway for this thread for fun.
This sounds awesome. Draft it up!
bugleyman Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8 |
Jeff Lee |
This was the one I was working on for a couple of days, before the idea for my submitted item bullrushed it aside and took over.
Rod of Redirection
Aura strong transmutation; CL 15th
Slot none; Price 76,000 gp; Weight 4 lbs.
Description
Crafted of interwoven brass and silver wires, this flexible, 3 foot rod is topped with an angled cup of silver-chased brass. When wielding the rod, its owner can ready an action to deflect any missile or ranged weapon that targets her or any creature or object within 20 feet. The attacker rolls to hit as normal. Then the rod wielder may deflect the missile (including ammunition, hurled weapons, rocks, and even splash weapons and alchemist bombs, but not rays, force effects, or purely energy effects) causing it to miss or to target another creature or object within its range. Use the attacker's roll, with a -2 penalty, to determine if the new target is hit and roll damage as normal. Should the wielder turn ammunition or a ranged weapon back at the attacker, the reversal slows its momentum, and the attack only inflicts half damage.
Once per day, the wielder can use a free action to cause the rod to envelop her in a shimmering field, providing a +4 deflection bonus to Armor Class for 10 minutes.
Finally, should the wielder of the rod be caught in an avalanche, cave-in, collapse, landslide, or similar effect, the rod generates a field of force in a 10 foot hemisphere as an immediate action, protecting all within the field from the effects. This field will last for 10 minutes, or until the wielder is removed from the situation. If this ability is enacted, the rod ceases to function for 24 hours.
Construction
Requirements Craft Rod, telekinesis, telekinetic sphere; Cost 38,000 gp
William-Scott Hathaway Marathon Voter Season 8 |
Ring of the Elements
Aura moderate evocation; CL 6th
Slot ring; Price 15,000 gp; Weight –
Description
This brass ring is etched with depictions of erupting volcanoes, tornadoes and other natural disasters.
A ring of the elements must be worn for 24 hours before it begins to function.
The ring grants its wearer resistance 5 to acid, cold, electricity, or fire, chosen by the wearer. Only 30 points of damage may be resisted in this way each day. As a full-round action the wearer may change which type of energy they have resistance to.
Whenever damage is resisted using the ring, it stores the absorbed energy within it. As a standard action the wearer may release all stored energy in a 10 ft. radius burst around themselves. This burst deals 1d6 points of damage for every 5 points of energy absorbed to a maximum of 6d6. This burst deals damage of the type that the ring is currently set to absorb. A DC 14 reflex save halves this damage.
Construction
Requirements Forge Ring, Draconic Reservior; Cost 7,500 gp
Never got around to polishing this idea. Wanted to do more with it, incorporating Elemental Aura into the crafting requirements and adding a secondary effect depending on the type of damage the burst did.
Lucus Palosaari Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 |
As everyone else is going for it, here's my "rod" that then I couldn't decide if it should be a "specific weapon" or if I should do this, or that, or .... so I scraped it at this stage.
Relic Rod of the Martyr
Aura moderate conjuration and divination; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 30,000 gp; Weight 3 lbs.
Description
This rod is made from the femur bone of a follower of Pharasma that fell at the hands of the undead. Its hilt is wrapped in black leather with the rest of the bone being engraved with text heavily inlaid with silver on destroying undead from The Bones Land in a Spiral. This rod functions as a +1 silver conductive undead bane light mace. When undead are within 60 feet of the rod, the silver text glows with a subdued blue flame that is harmless but sheds light as a candle.
This rod can also function as a holy symbol or divine focus for channeling positive energy or casting conjuration (healing) spells to harm undead, regardless of the wielder's patron deity. Used in this way, DCs to resist the damage or other effects gain a +2 sacred bonus. When casting a conjuration (healing) spell to injure an undead creature, instead of the free melee touch attack normally allowed to deliver the spell, the wielder can make one free melee attack with this weapon as part of casting this spell. If successful, this melee attack deals its normal damage as well as the effects of the spell. As a full-round action, followers of Pharasma are able to perform a holy rite over the dead with this rod, treating them as if a permanant sanctify corpse spell has been cast on the remains.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Craft Rod, detect undead, sanctify corpse, spectral hand, summon monster I, creator must be able to channel energy; Cost 15,000 gp
Feedback is appreciated, but never expected ;-)
Edit: I'm going to thank you now GM_Solspiral in this post so I don't muddy up the list with a quick thank you later. You're dedication to giving people feedback in the past and now is awe-inspiring.
frank gori RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral |
1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Rod of Redirection- This is actually a pretty cool rod that I would like if it had a bit more polish. 20ft is too much, lower the price as a part of that, user the attacker's roll is unclear the attacker is the person firing a missile I think you mean use wielder's attack roll -2 but that bit is unclear. Other than those issues really nice rod.
Ring of the Elements- Aw man I predicted this on my bingo card! The mechanics of this are very solid but the theme is so well tread it could be a Roman road. I hope you posted something else... the writing and mechanics are actually quite solid.
Relic Rod of the Martyr- I'd pair down your first 3 sentences to a 1 sentence description, back story is a distraction and is not going to win you a contract. bugbear of mine, put a space between paragraphs to make it less wall of text. I like that it adds utility to heal spells and that you can deliver touch attacks with the rod. The last sentence seems to go a step too far again trying to shoehorn it in with your back story. You have some design potential but I'd encourage you to work with some other editors and writers more if this is a polished example. If you do have a group introduce new blood.
Thank you for the thanks, I partly do this as a thank you to the competition for inspiring me to do my own thing.
Wouldn't mind a little feedback on my own stuff :)
edit:
Word thief- Should be a dogslicer! 2nd sentence is a run on which muddies clarity. You're compatriot prolly gave good advice on the niche. If someone started with this I'd recommend it might be more interesting if the person was under an effect that made everything they stated extremely offensive forcing them to take the lower of 2 rolls on all diplomacy checks. Or maybe use the word thief bit to disrupt a caster's ability to speak (fumble toungue.)
Edit: Kami I put your item in this post.
Kamai Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8 |
Wordthief
This +1 small Shortsword was born of the Goblin belief that writing down words steals them from your mind. This sword can make a sunder attempt against any object that has had writing on it for at least 24 hours or has any magical writing on it at all without provoking attacks of opportunity and while ignoring hardness. Any creature struck with this sword must make a DC 12 Will Save, or forget 1 language that they know for 1 hour. If they attempt to speak that language, it comes out in unintelligible grunts, and forces a 50% spell failure chance on any spells with a verbal component.
I didn't finish up this item even though I liked where it was going because the person giving me advice told me it was probably too niche, which I'm sure was part of the problem my attempt last year ran into.
Edit: I also wanted to try to write up a words of power staff, but there just wasn't enough material for me to write something coherent.
Jeff Lee |
** spoiler omitted **
Thanks. Like I said, it was a work in progress until I came up with another idea. And I mean the attacker's roll, not the wielder's roll. Take the original attack roll and -2.
As for your items, I like the Chimera's Face. It's an interesting and useful shield. The Displacing Arbalest, not so much. As you said, the text is unclear. The illusionary image part seems tacked on and not really in keeping with the item's other abilities.
Jacob Trier RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8 |
I did a quick writeup of these two and shipped them off to my pit crew to check if any of them were better than my main item. Didn't get around to fully developing them.
The blade and hilt of this +1 sawtooth sabre are colored a faded black and seem to absorb light, ensuring that no reflection of light can give away the wielder’s position.
Once per day as a standard action, the wielder can jump forward and strike at an enemy who is flatfooted or otherwise denied his Dexterity bonus to AC. The wielder performs the leaping attack by making a long jump with a +10 enhancement bonus to acrobatics. The leap is always performed as if the wielder had a running start and the movement does not provoke attacks of opportunity. If the leap succeeds, the wielder can attack the target as if she had charged, with the usual penalty to AC.
If the wielder is wielding two deahleap blades, she may attack with both weapons at the end of the leap.
This +1/+1 furious klar is fashioned from the charred skull of a horned spirestalker gecko with rubies inserted into the eye sockets. The wavy blade that extends from the base of the skull resembles a darting tongue.
If the wielder confirms a critical hit with the klar while raging, she may expend an additional round of her daily rage to make the rubies light up with a flickering fiery light. While the rubies are lit, the klar gains the flaming weapon property and the wielder gains fire resistance 10. This effect last for as long as the wielder’s current rage. If the klar is dropped or disarmed, it becomes inactive.
As a standard action, the wielder can point the activated klar at an enemy within 30 feet and speak a command word. This causes the enemy to burn as if he had been the target of a burning gaze spell with a save DC of 16. This extinguishes the fire in the rubies.
Jarrett Sigler RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Dedicated Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka Tothric |
Thank you GM, for your input!
I knew there was something that just wasn't special enough with the Bonds of Brotherhood.
I never thought about the "shopper" idea of the Voters.
Thank you agian!
I really like some of the ideas flying around on this page. When I get more time to sit and pour over them, and think on them.
I wish everyone the best!
Covent Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 |
Thought about this one, but decided it was too simple.
------
Best Beloved
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot armor; Price 53,500 gp; Weight 25 lbs.
Description
Shaped of purest mithral, and shining with inner light this +3 mithral full plate nonetheless has a faint patina of shadow that seems to move beneath its surface.
When affected by a spell or ability that's effects differ based upon alignment, the wearer of a suit of best beloved is always affected as if of the alignment that is the most beneficial to him. If subject to a spell or effect that detects or determines alignment, the wearer chooses the revealed resulting alignment.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, imbue with aura, undetectable alignment; Cost 32,000 gp
CaptainFord |
I didn't have much time since I found about the entry deadline, oh, roughly 4 hours before it was over. I ended up conjuring something I liked, but I came up with a few more after the deadline because I was getting inspired. (I'm glad I didn't submit the rod... I still haven't got the hang of those yet...)
Reaper's Breath - A specially crafted +2 dragon pistol, this weapon bears a more skeletal look then it's traditional counterpart. When using a Dragon's Breath paper cartridge with it, the weapon deals cold damage instead of it's usual fire damage. All other features regarding misfiring and pistol use still apply.
Rod of Arcane Redirection - This rod begins each day with no spell charges, and has 7 spell slots available. When the user is targeted by a spell, the user may take an immediate action to make a Spellcraft check against the current spell's DC. If the user fails, they are affected by the spell as if the rod had not been used. If the user succeeds, that spell is rendered ineffective on the user, and the spell is stored in the rod. The user may use the spells stored on another valid target of his/her choosing, provided he/she is capable of casting that spell. If the rod has the maximum number of spells stored, the user cannot make a Spellcraft check and is affected by the spell as if the rod had not been used. The rod resets at the beginning of each day, even if it has spells stored already.
Wren Brown RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16 , Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Rusty Ironpants |
1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Wizard's Staff- Not bad for a staff but my main bug bear would be how broad a spell list that thing would have had. I liked the bit with being a +3 club with hand of the apprentice and if you ever want to use this somewhere that's where I"d focus.
Thank you for the feedback! :)
Ghost Chain Javelin- cool but the sticks into the ground then tries to entangle a ghost is weird. Maybe if it hits it grabs onto nearby surfaces like a web spell?
I had the same thought. Cool item, but it should hit the target then shoot out chains to stick in nearby surfaces.
Lots of helpful stuff...
Thank you. That is some excellent advice.
frank gori RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral |
Deathleap Blade- The problem I run into is my table would prolly already let you leap at the end of a charge and attack. Is it bad? no but I can see why you went with something else, it's also a little niche.
Cindergaze Klar- ok the description alone would get an upvote on this one, the flaming and burning gaze is fine the fire resistance 10 seems out of place. This shows off your writing but maybe not your design chops.
Best Beloved-you're right it's too sparse. Part of the contest is showing off your writing and design chops that is too low word count to manage it in my opinion. Alignment is an argument in a can hot button in pathfinder, if you don't believe me start a thread about what you think a LG Paladin should behave like (but wear flame retardant gear.)
urge to make scott f. vrock puns rising!
Reaper's Breath- cool idea but it needed more than an element switch to be superstar
Rod of Arcane Redirection- ok this falls into a few design traps... 1) it makes gaming easier 2) the last sentence creates a rabbit hole because it says t regains the 7 slots even if spells are stored in it. Sweet I'm going to take a spell craft on a bunch of arcane buff spells and save those slots for something else, now its just a spell storage unit. You could make that rod work and even make it very cool, I'm not sure if that could happen under 300 words. By it's nature that is going to be a complicated item. Good call going with something else.
Bat shield- that's a nifty idea but the way to make it superstar is to take it that next step (like it springs gliding wings when you're falling or something.)
Mage's blade- Blackblade archetype does this for magus, good instinct avoiding this.
Animated armor-I'd rather the Armor somehow get me outta there...
The ur-spear- tough to critique beyond just having a name and description, I really wanted a spear in the contest. Off handed I'd go with animal bane, and maybe some kind of bonus against creatures larger making it a mammoth killer but being useful to an adventurer as a "mount slayer"
Edited to include goldomark, Jacob Michaels already knows my opinion of his staff (Flying Pincushion represent)
goldomark Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 8 |
It was only at the stage of ideas.
Bat shield: an animated shield that becomes a bat swarm when activated.
Mage's blade: a sword that could be used as a familiar/bonded item.
Animated armor: when the character reaches -1 hp, the armor lets him move and attack anyway.
The ur-spear: a stone tipped spear from prehistoric times. I could decide what it did.
Jacob W. Michaels RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka motteditor |
I loved the visual on this one, but wasn't quite sure I was willing to risk through some sci-fi chocolate into the fantasy peanut butter (or rather how willing the voters would be to entertain that, even with Numeria/Iron Gods/Impact Site's success last year).
I also could decide if I felt the "bonus power" would be enough to be considered Superstar. In the end, I think my personal feeling was it wouldn't quite make that cut.
Name was still a work in progress, obviously, and this was a first or second draft so probably needed a few polishes (and a weight).
Brigh’s Bane/Glitch Staff/Savage's Staff/Technobane staff
Aura moderate abjuration and transmutation; CL 10th
Slot none; Price 94,000 gp; Weight ZZ lbs.
Description
The battered, broken head of a mechanical construct hangs by severed wires from the top of this gnarled beechwood staff. It allows the use of the following spells:
- Disable construct
- Discharge
- Malfunction (2 charges)
- Rebuke technology (2 charges)
- Rusting grasp (2 charges)
In addition, the staff generates a 10-foot radius aura that hampers mechanical creatures and objects unless they succeed at a DC 16 Fortitude save. Mechanical devices, such as locks and traps, stick and grind, suffering as if they had the broken condition; firearms' misfire value increases by one and simple mechanical weapons, such as crossbows, gain a misfire value of 1; clockwork constructs are treated as if they were sickened; and technological items glitch when they are used (timeworn devices may glitch twice).
The wielder of the staff may spend charges to extend the aura. Each charge widens the radius by 10 feet for 1 minute.
Construction
Requirements Craft Staff, disable construct, discharge, malfunction, rebuke technology, rusting grasp; Cost 47,000 gp
Snorter |
Bonds of Brotherhood
An interesting ability, that isn't hugely represented; at least I didn't find much that did this, when I was looking for a similar effect for a PF Society Hunter character of mine with a pet.
My first impressions are that it's missing some information.
I say this, because I took part in Alpha-playtesting the Summoner, who has a similar ability, and while several GMs were OK with the transfer of hit points happening whenever required, one did veto it, on the grounds that 'you can't use an ability when it's not your turn, unless you're readied.'.
So, the action type for redirecting the damage ought to be explicitly specified as either an immediate action, or a non-action (as the Summoner's Life Link was FAQed to be, after I raised the issue, but not in time to beat the printer).
Secondly, I think the ability to transfer hp should have a range cap.
All the effects I'm aware of (shield other, life conduit, or Life Link) operate at severely close range.
What I believe you're wanting is an item that lets actively adventuring PCs/cohorts/companions help each other out, by spreading the damage around more evenly.
What you want to avoid, is every PC taking advantage of this, to have a non-adventuring allied PC wearing a ring keyed to each of them, sitting safely hundreds of miles away from the action next to an acolyte with a cure wand, and effectively doubling the party's available daily hp.
Omnitricks Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9 |
This was the one I initially made before I changed it because garrotes are so limiting. I'm pretty sure its all weired out too but at least I can get all the crazy out for my actual submission.
Norgorber’s Noose
Aura moderate necromancy; CL 11th
Slot none; Price 78303 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
The Anaphexis gives this pure black rope to its more accomplished agents for missions although it is just a +2 garrote to most. After its wielder begins to choke his target while grappling, his target will be considered flat footed to him for subsequent rounds as long as the grapple is maintained even if he does not continue to choke his target.
If the wielder has the sneak attack class feature, he can choose to either reduce the amount of time the target of his grapple can hold his breath by 1 + the amount of sneak attack dice used or add his sneak attack damage to the choke as nonlethal damage but not both. If he is unable to maintain the choke his opponent can take a breath and restart when he has to begin making Constitution checks but any nonlethal damage remains until healed.
Norgorber’s Noose glows faintly after successfully suffocating a target or making him unconscious through nonlethal damage. Its wielder may then make a sense motive check with a bonus equivalent to the total rounds the target has been choked against a DC 15 + the target’s will bonus to rifle through the memories which flash before its death. A success will allow the wielder to know something the target would aiding in relevant rolls but a failure will have the wielder misinformed because of the garbled memories with penalties to those same rolls. The Noose can only hold one individual’s memory at a time.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, suffocation, detect thoughts, must be a worshipper of Norgorber; Cost 39151 gp 5 sp
Still not sure about the price and the third paragraph though. The third paragraph powers reads strangely to me.
Rose Stack RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka mechaPoet |
Jacob W. Michaels RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka motteditor |
Garrick Williams RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 16 , Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8 aka Cyrad |
Wren Brown RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16 , Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Rusty Ironpants |
So taking the excellent advice I got I took a second pass at the wizard's staff and I think the presentation is a lot stronger.
Wizard’s Staff
Aura strong universal; CL 17th
Slot none; Price 95,000 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
The spell caster that chooses this simple wooden staff as their bonded object with the Arcane Bond class feature can cast the following spells:
- light (0 charges)
- mage hand (0 charges)
- read magic (0 charges)
Additionally the spell caster may use their bonded wizard’s staff to cast spells from their spellbook more than once per day, at the cost listed below:
- Any 1st or 2nd level spell in the spell caster’s spellbook (1 charge)
- Any 3rd or 4th level spell in the spell caster’s spellbook (2 charges)
- Any 5th or 6th level spell in the spell caster’s spellbook (3 charges)
- Any 7th or 8th level spell in the spell caster’s spellbook (4 charges)
- Any 9th level spell in the spell caster’s spellbook (5 charges)
A wizard’s staff can be used with the Hand of the Apprentice class feature to make a melee attack, striking as a +3 club. A wizard’s staff also provides all the benefits of a bonded object, except that it cannot receive additional enchantments.
Construction
Requirements Craft Staff, light, mage hand, read magic, Arcane Bond (Bonded Object) class feature; Cost 47,500 gp
Kiel Howell RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka theheadkase |
Rusty, and anyone who would want to revise, I'd highly recommend taking the revisions to the Blazing 9 thread. We'll keep this from getting cluttered AND get some more faces in the designated practice thread!