SAVE THE NEH-THALGGU HATCHLINGS!!! PETITION FOR DARK TAPESTRY ORPHANAGES!!!


Pathfinder First Edition General Discussion


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*FACETIOUSNESS WARNING*

Brothers and sisters, I have seen the error of my ways! I have determined that if a species is sentient and capable of higher reasoning, then their evil alignments, diet for humanoid flesh, and other such 'traits' are irrelevant!

Brothers and sisters, do you not see the repressed glimmers of good behind those 6+ eyes of the 'Ggu? Do you not hear their plaintive cries of despair as they devour sentient minds? Their society is what makes them evil and the ostracizing of them by 'sane sentients' only drives them further into the role of the monster that they had no choice, despite freewill, in being!

Those poor, mistreated dears alignment labels are mere stickers, tools by the evil humans to label them as 'lesser beings'. They're not even considered worth putting in the holy 'Advanced Racial Guide', the tome recording the peoples of the world, they are relegated to a foul 'Bestiary 2', like some second-class evil monster!

THIS IS A TRAVESTY! We must make a stand now, for all sentient monsters everywhere! What hope is there for this world when we do not honor free will and self-determination? What hope is there when a monster cannot choose to eat a Halfling's brain in peace, like a civilized individual, without incurring the judgement of up-jumped Paladins and folk of conscience? THIS MUST STOP!

I propose that the 'good people of Golarion', if they are truly good according to the omniscient 'Core Rulebook', build the 'Orphanage for All Dark Tapestry Monsters Possessing Sentience and Freewill'! We must stop treating monsters like monsters and make them equal to the good folk of Golarion!

Surely no harm can come out of such an illogical showing of altruism, right? Surely their evil can be cast out with a hug from Mr. Murderhobo McGee, who has repented his misdeeds and chosen to act as President of the Dark Tapestry Coexistence Coalition after he slaughtered their completely evil fore-bearers?

Please, people of Golarion, show your support for good-aligned deities everywhere and help us engage in this grand endeavor! Together we will stand for truth, justice, and tentacles!

*DISCLAIMER*: If you are a Paladin, you WILL support us or we will strip you of your powers for all time as punishment for doing your job! How dare you presume that you were asked to do your job of smiting evil seriously!

*This advertising was paid for by the 'National Belzken Alliance of Orcs and Dark Tapestry Monstrousities' and is supported by the 'Matchsticks and Marauding Goblins Foundation for Turning Goblin Infants Into Flaming Artillary' organizations.*


Why yessssssssss, of course thuh Dawk Tawpestry is for pieces! They is misunderstood!I used ta bee an adveentyura loik yoo, but I haav sin the errurs ov moi ways!

Whispers in Aklo "Do you think they bought that garbage, Mr. Tentacles? No one can see through this marvelous disguise!"


You bring such joy to my heart!


Why yes, of course [friend/slave/dinner] Mr. Murderhobo McGee! Alignments are tools used by our oppressors, the REAL evils in Golarion, especially those heartless Paladins and all the Clerics too! We hope that the sentient races of the true good [deities/mummers/myths] of Golarion see through this and abolish the unnecessary slaying of not only the Dark Tapestry members, but the slaying of innocent Orcs as well! Adopting sympathetic face tentacle coils. Is the slaying of 'evil' so important to you that you would disregard the piteous writhing of face tentacles the Thalggu exhibit as a show of mercy/whining/falsehood from your bigoted adventurers? Rise above such deeds, people of Golarion and we shall usher in a new age/age of the Old Ones/feeding time!

Whispers in Aklo "Silence fool! Do you want to blow out cover? These Orcs and Goblins really have these pitiful skinsacks believing us, so don't ruin it!"


Hullo, Meester Ekkehardt, would yoo loik a hug on behaff of the DTCC? All hour hugs com with speceeal luv!


You really made this thread as a joke due to your argument in the other thread to advocate killing babies?

Paizo Glitterati Robot

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Locking. Come on guys, let's not do this. Alignment threads are tedious enough without parody threads.

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