...The Gay Agenda: Chicago's newest team of superheroes!
...The Hay Agenda - An insidious plot by quadruped herbivores to reclaim the term "horsepower".
The Spay Agenda - An organisation of Super-Powered Veterinarians.
...The Crayfish Agenda: A Consortium of Louisiana Chefs' master plot to make Gumbo the national dish.
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...my INABILITY TO MODULATE my voice.
...My rich, fruity voice, smooth and sensuous as molten velvet.
Oooommmm baybeh.
...Mel Tourme, the Velvet Fog.
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..Helium-filled paladins.
...latent heat of fusion.
...my natural heat. My "Guatamalen-ness".
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...Avocado's Number, or the number of Guacs in a Guacamole.
...Avocado's Razor - the only tool one needs for creating guacamole.
...the severe acalculia of my mad scientist adviser who assured me it would work "according to my calculations!"
...the laws of physics!
...Those meddling munchkins!!
...the sweet, crunchy goodness of Smurfs! Fried, boiled, rare, in a casserole: I can't get enough of them!
...Soggy tweeds.
...testicular torsion!
...Having to go back to Matador School!
...that box of donuts. Mmmm... donuts...
...defenestation.
... Loose scree.
...pinecone-feet!
...pinecone-feet haters!
...all my aliases being unable to collaborate.
...Bibbity, bobbity and boo.
...the irresistible flavor of the Keebler elves!
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...The King In (itsy bitsy teeny weeny) Yellow (polka dot bikinis)!
...Tony the Tiger and his Breakfast Commandos!