Inquisitor dedicated to... Calistria???


Advice

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Pathfinder Maps Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

One of my players wants to create an inquisitor, and out of the blue he picked Calistria as his god.

Now, I want to give maximum leeway to my players concerning their choice of characters, but I have a real problem of conceiving an inquisition in the name of trickery, lust and revenge. Does that mean he wants to put to the stake anyone opposed to his ideals?

Just seems like a very weird choice for an inquisitor. Especially since we'll also have a lawful good paladin in the party. Comments?


Revenge for slights is very big for them, he could be the goddess hand in this for her weaker priests


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That and a way to get the less enthusiatic priest and priestesses in line. Also look at the movie "Unforgiven" the main character could easily be reframed as an Inquistor that deals with people who have wronged the temple's clergy. Either internally with a potentially straying spiritual leader, or parishoner. As well as externally with Scarni or any of the others that would try to threaten the Calistrian Temple.

Also given that Inquistors can easily be built to subvert, lie, and lay a sudden and unexpected beating on someone it can make a good deal of sense.

Add in that part of the portfolio is revenge, you can easily do revenge for hire, and be right in line with Calistrian orthodoxy.


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Any noir film will give you this -- the person who tracks down the Guy Who Done Her Wrong (or the Gal What Dumped Him) is an inquisitor of Calistria.

She's about revenge, and sex, and other passions -- and while an "inquisitor" as part of a formal church structure doesn't work for a deity that doesn't have a formal church structure (hello, chaotic neutral? fiercely individualistic? ELVEN?) -- an investigator helping others in need of revenge, or wronged in love, or those who abuse some other passion, seems to me to be firmly in the cards.

Any other passion... I have just thought of an inquistor of Calistria whose job it is to hunt down, and revenge himself upon, those who falsely claim to be great gourmet chefs, and serve up horrid pap in exchange. The Hamburgler strikes again!

Scarab Sages

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Despite the name, an inquisitor is not "put the naysayers of my religion to the stake". They are direct agents of the god or the church, and are more spy than hammer.

You are also ignoring a large part of Calistria, which is the knowledge domain. She is a collector of secrets, and an Inquisitor focus on obtaining hidden knowledge, and using that for trickery, lust, or revenge is very thematic.

Sovereign Court

NIghtrider wrote:
Revenge for slights is very big for them, he could be the goddess hand in this for her weaker priests

QFT. Revenge is one of the things you should think of when someone mentions "Calistria". Someone who deals in the currency of payback is EVERY bit as Calistrian as a holy prostitute. Getting on the wrong side of the Church of Calistria should be even more terrifying than crossing the boss of an underworld gang.. and the Church needs characters like Inquisitors to pursue satisfaction for such slights.

Sovereign Court

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He's not about to go smiting people for not having sex or using trickery, he's more likely to hunt down church members for not following ideals, protect those that seek to drag Calistria through the mud, and protect those who might like to remain in the shadows.

Think of a modern day crusader that protects prostitutes and shady information dealers, and smites those who cry out against brothels and gambling houses.


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Seems like an almost ideal choice for an Inquisitor to me.

This is the church people come to when they have no other way of getting even. Lust and Trickery is the fun side of the church. If you have been wronged Calistria is there for you. Her Inquisitors are probably some of the most terrifying agents of vengance on the planet.

"Bandits murdered my husband and sold my children to orcs" - Calistrian Inquisitor is there for you

"The Local Lord is a brutal evil man who burned our entire village because one man failed to pay Taxes" - Calistiran Inquisitor is on the case.

Some guy wakes up in the middle of the night facing a man dressed in a Black and Yellow cloak, he's going to wet himself as every nasty thing he has ever done flashes through his mind trying to figure out who wants payback.

It's like Batman+Ghost Rider+The Punisher in one sexy package.


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An excellent example of an elven inquisitor of Calistria appears in the Pathfinder Tales novel Queen of Thorns -- she investigates possible threats to the church, using seduction, trickery, and a bit of BDSM, and handles herself well in a fight with demons and other foul creatures of the Kyonin wilderness.

Another important point is that Calistria approves of prostitution and sex, but holds consent holy. A Calistrian inquisitor could be dedicated to seeking out and rescuing those forced into prostituion against their will, and taking revenge on those who forced them and violated them.


Or the Inquisitor could go after people who profess to worshipping Calistra but fail to take (sufficient) revenge or suppress their own (or others') desires.


Paladin of Baha-who? wrote:

An excellent example of an elven inquisitor of Calistria appears in the Pathfinder Tales novel Queen of Thorns -- she investigates possible threats to the church, using seduction, trickery, and a bit of BDSM, and handles herself well in a fight with demons and other foul creatures of the Kyonin wilderness.

Another important point is that Calistria approves of prostitution and sex, but holds consent holy. A Calistrian inquisitor could be dedicated to seeking out and rescuing those forced into prostituion against their will, and taking revenge on those who forced them and violated them.

I was actually going to reference that exact same character. She was a great character. And your points are valid. A Calistrian inquisitor has a wide array of wrongs and sins that they can seek to address or to protect the church at large.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with picking Calistria as a deity for an inquisitor.


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Please let us know, or at least me, how this character works out.


Played with an inquisitor of Calistria before and the only piece of advice I have is "do not leave the inquisitor alone to torture someone for information." Hours of torture and she forgot to ask any questions.

Anywho, holy spies sounds a lot like inquisitors to me, and that is a time-worn path for followers of the Sacred Sting.

Grand Lodge

I made one up for fun. Her quest for vengeance was entirely personal, think: Beatrice Kiddo/The Bride from the Kill Bill movies. Somebody done her wrong and now they gotta pay!

Oh, and there's Whip + Improved Whip Mastery + Bane = WIN.


I've got a Halfling Inquisitor of Calistria that I run with in a PbP.

Although lust, trickery and vengeance are the three daggers of the Calistrian faith - I find that there's an aspect that can sometimes get overlooked. That is the pure unfettered individualism of the deity.

A true Calistrite does what he/she wants regardless the consequences and fallout. Bonds of 'friendship' are only one-way, as a Calistrite could drop a years long bond at a whim if circumstances change.

I view them as endorsing and worshipping personal choice, and the need to engage with the world with eyes open. A rich heir beholden to rule by convention is pitiable, while a destitute drug addict beggar might be viewed favorably if the beggar chose that life.

A beautiful example in print would be Nicomo Cosca from Abercrombie's most excellent Best Served Cold.

Sovereign Court

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Don't get too hung up on the class name "Inquisitor."

A Rogue can be an upstanding member of society if he wants.
An Oracle may never have had any visions about the future.
A Cleric need not know how to read and write (though it can help).
A Ranger can stay in one place his whole life.
A Barbarian can be from a civilized country.
A Monk need not sit and chant all day.
A Paladin need not be in service to anyone in particular.

See where I am going with this?

An Inquisitor need not be an investigator of heresies against his god.
All these names are just marketing labels for the class. Some classes are better named than others.

Instead, look what the class does.

An Inquisitor has some divine magic, but most of its abilities revolve around skills and being flexible in combat. I take the Inquisitor as a warrior in service to a god, much like a Paladin, only where the Paladin is tough, the Inquisitor is smart.

Obviously the idea of an "inquisition" in the Christian sense only makes sense for a narrow group of religions, and even then only loosely. But any faith can have inquisitors, so what the class will mean should vary quite widely based on how the religion works. Better to think about how a Calistrian priest with these abilities would fit in with his faith and how he would serve his god, and go from there.

Peet

Grand Lodge

Defending the legitimate whorehouses, hunting down rapists, and striking out against those who would suppress the freedom of sexuality, all seem like things an Inquisitor of Calistria would do.


Pathfinder Maps Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

Thanx for all the great ideas, I'll find out in a few hours if said player stuck by his guns and went with Calistria or decided to take something more "heroic".

We're just starting a (modified) Rise of the Rune Lords campaign, so I dunno how well an inquisitor-slash-pimp-slash-protector is going to work out, but time will tell.


also Calitria is the primary god of the Elves

tells you a lot about Elves


I am playing an elven enchantress dedicated to Calistria. She is nicknamed the Wasp because of her tounge and the insults she throws, even at party members.

Grand Lodge

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Whoah! Why can't a CG Inquisitor of Calistria be heroic?

I think you might want to expand your horizons on the whole hero thing.

Dark Archive

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Wheldrake wrote:

Thanx for all the great ideas, I'll find out in a few hours if said player stuck by his guns and went with Calistria or decided to take something more "heroic".

We're just starting a (modified) Rise of the Rune Lords campaign, so I dunno how well an inquisitor-slash-pimp-slash-protector is going to work out, but time will tell.

A CG Inquisitor going around saving people from enforced slavery (as prostitutes) and guiding them stand on their own feet, helping those unjustly wronged gain vengeance against the evil ones who hurt them, using trickery to fool those abusing their power into actually helping the people they sought to oppress... sounds pretty heroic to me, in fact it sounds a lot like Robin Hood.


just because the class is called inquisitor
does not mean all inquisitor characters are running around
in red and black robes shouting that no one expects them

there should be no problem with this


Lamontius wrote:

just because the class is called inquisitor

does not mean all inquisitor characters are running around
in red and black robes shouting that no one expects them

there should be no problem with this

and no one would expect it!

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32

Queen of Thorns has a Calistran inquisitor, IIRC.


Pathfinder Maps Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

FWIW, the player changed his character concept at the last moment, and is holding the Calistrian Inquisitor in reserve.

Congratulations, though, y'all have convinced me that it's a viable concept. Still leery about how it would mesh with our paladin-led, heroic, save-the-widows-and-orphans campaign.

The Spanish Inquisition wrote:
Fear, surprise, ruthless viciousness, and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope. And our nice red uniforms. (oh, buggers!)


Calistria also happens to have an antipaladin code (which I personally LOVE), that could provide some insight in to what an inquisitor of the Savored Sting could be doing. Just you know not restrained by the code, just use it as a loose guideline as Inquisitors have a lot of leeway. They are permitted to use tactics that are normally shunned by the church. Heck an Inquisitor could also be a travelling bounty hunter for the church hunting down people who pay for certain services up front at places of worship receive services and don't pay. Kind of like a debt collector that deals in death and vengeance.


On the Antipaladin Code (from Inner Sea Gods):

  • My life is my path, and none will sway me from it.
  • I devote myself to the pursuit of my passions.
  • I take what I desire, by trick or by force. If others resent my actions, they may attempt to take vengeance against me.
  • All slights against me will be repaid tenfold.
  • I am the instrument of my own justice. If I am wronged, I will take vengeance with my own hands.

Those guidelines can easily be interpreted without needing to be overtly evil; and serve as a nice contrast to some of the other Antipaladin codes.


All these serious answers but I personally think his character concept should be talking people into accepting maximum kink.

"Of course it hurts, that's why it's FUN. Come now, don't knock it 'til you try it!"

Conversion Inquisition is tailor made for a dumped Cha Inquisitor. Not so much in the looks department, but s/he can be...persuasive.

"C'mere big boy, lemme show ya a good time."

...Yeah probably better for a one-off if I'm being honest.


Pathfinder Maps Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
Mark Sweetman wrote:

On the Antipaladin Code (from Inner Sea Gods):

  • My life is my path, and none will sway me from it.
  • I devote myself to the pursuit of my passions.
  • I take what I desire, by trick or by force. If others resent my actions, they may attempt to take vengeance against me.
  • All slights against me will be repaid tenfold.
  • I am the instrument of my own justice. If I am wronged, I will take vengeance with my own hands.

Those guidelines can easily be interpreted without needing to be overtly evil; and serve as a nice contrast to some of the other Antipaladin codes.

THIS is precisely the source of my reticence. The above code of "honor" sounds like a recipe for disaster, chaos at the table, PVP action and a rapid descent into evil. No way would that mesh with the lawful good paladin in the party, not to mention any sort of normal party cohesion, or such routine acts as dividing the loot or negociating delicate diplomatic or investigative situations.

Still, I'm ready to give the Inquisitor of Calistria a shot, if the player decides to go for it.


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Wheldrake wrote:

THIS is precisely the source of my reticence. The above code of "honor" sounds like a recipe for disaster, chaos at the table, PVP action and a rapid descent into evil. No way would that mesh with the lawful good paladin in the party, not to mention any sort of normal party cohesion, or such routine acts as dividing the loot or negociating delicate diplomatic or investigative situations.

Still, I'm ready to give the Inquisitor of Calistria a shot, if the player decides to go for it.

Being brutally honest against the posters above; an antipaladin code of a deity as an interpretation is a poor example with said class is well, a paragon of CE. In the same vein, a Paladin of Irori would veer wildly from normal expectation.

For a start:
Quote:
  • I take what I desire, by trick or by force. If others resent my actions, they may attempt to take vengeance against me.
  • All slights against me will be repaid tenfold.

Both seem very much chaotic evil specific.

As to fitting someone of a chaotic good, "let people do what they want, it's not hurting" into a Paladin led campaign, assuming players who won't throw punches over the slightest disagreement, it can work very well as a small inter-party conflict.
Say, dealing with a sadistic noble (for an old trope); the Paladin tries to take them to court, tries to reform a system that was put in said person's favour. The inquisitor, meanwhile, just straight up kills them because the Paladin method means suffering in the meantime.
Or, for your words "save-the-widows-and-orphans". Paladin tries to find a building to serve as a shelter when the previous orphanage is burnt down; the CG inquisitor seeks out the arsonist. Basically; different priorities - same ends.
I reiterate personally held opinion that these conflicts can be fun. :P


I'll note that it is an Anti-Paladin code - so it isn't a surprise that you find it laden with some reticence. It does need a soft hand, mature players and clear battle-lines to make it work - especially alongside a Paladin.

It can still work though - as long as there is a clearish definition of what passion and desire the Calistran Inquisitor has. Perhaps he came from a position of wealth and has little desire for it himself, instead having a passion for fine food, or art. Maybe he was an orphan himself, and defines his life's work as elevating other orphans to where they can take command of their own passions.

It's also important to see how the Paladin defines his / her character. A Paladin of Erastil can be a very different animal than one of Shelyn for example.

Grand Lodge

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Really?

I could easily make a LN Inquisitor of Iomedae, that's a much bigger pain, than the CG Inquisitor of Calistria.

Using the worst possible example, of a worst case scenario, with the Antipaladin, is not a good basis for how every devout follower of Calistria works.


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Pathfinder Maps Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
blackbloodtroll wrote:
Using the worst possible example, of a worst case scenario, with the Antipaladin, is not a good basis for how every devout follower of Calistria works.

Agreed. If the player had said "chaotic good" I wouldn't have had this gut reaction. But the combination of "chaotic neutral" - a well-known problem area for party-cohesion-breaking antics - with the domains I read on Calistria at first glance - trickery, lust and revenge - made me worry that my first foray into DMing Pathfinder would end in tears.

Without the paladin, I could defintely see that a CG pimp-slash-protector with a heart of gold, on a mission to wreak vengeance on somebody (doubtless the DM-sent BBEG and his minions) would be a wonderful plot hook that keeps on hooking. Pardon the expression.

Whatever people's conclusions are, I know I love flying ideas on these boards and seeing wide variance in opinions and interpretations. It really helps get a fresh slant on things.


I like how you cite CN as the party disruptor when you have a Paladin in the party already dictating the entire table's characters before the game even starts.


Pathfinder Maps Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

<chuckle>

Yeah, it kinda works that way, dunnit?

Of course, the paladin player had no intention of doing that, he just wanted to play a character class he had fond memories of from years back.

Aside from the Assimar-Varisian paladin, we've got:
- a chaotic neutral half-orc, half-Shoanti barbarian who hates Shoanti (making interactions with Belor Hemlock... er... interesting);
- an alchemist fire-bomber girl with multiple-personality disorder who inadvertently set fire to half the town square during the goblin attack, nearly killing a villager, then saving him with a cure infusion;
- a two-hander warrior-slash-ladies man who has the whole town convinced he's single-handedly responsible for saving their bacon.

The last two PCs, I don't even *know* their alignment, sometimes it's just best to let such things play out.

And yes, I now realize I was overreacting to the CN Calistria-worshiping inquisitor. <smacks forehead>


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Wheldrake wrote:


Without the paladin, I could defintely see that a CG pimp-slash-protector with a heart of gold, on a mission to wreak vengeance on somebody (doubtless the DM-sent BBEG and his minions) would be a wonderful plot hook that keeps on hooking. Pardon the expression.

You know ... you seem to have a rather strongly hang-up about this. I think you're focusing way too much on the sex angle. Being a devoted follower of a god doesn't mean agreeing with or following 100% every single one of their tenets or domains. There's a reason clerics and inquisitors have to choose their domains instead of getting all of them. Well, besides balance.

And even if the inquisitor did follow Callistria's tenets of lust, that doesn't make them a pimp, nor does protecting prostitutes from those who abuse them.

Assuming Callistrians even have pimps (considering their individualism), it would most likely be the head of the local church, not an independent operator like an inquisitor.

Lantern Lodge

@Wheldrake,

As many others have already mentioned, the Pathfinder Tale, King of Chaos have a VERY GOOD example of an Inqusitor of Calistria. She is the embodiment of the 3 stings of Calistria and really help show the role Calistria has on elven society and politics.

If you get the chance, you should really read up the novel. It give much more insight into elven society and how an inquisitor of Calistra can be roleplayed, while still being a very useful and contributing member of a party.

Sovereign Court

meh... ask what his angle is and if his reasons are weak, suggest another god/goddess... if he's got a cool idea then allow it. The goal is to play something that is fun for everyone.


Greylurker wrote:

Seems like an almost ideal choice for an Inquisitor to me.

This is the church people come to when they have no other way of getting even. Lust and Trickery is the fun side of the church. If you have been wronged Calistria is there for you. Her Inquisitors are probably some of the most terrifying agents of vengeance on the planet.

"Bandits murdered my husband and sold my children to orcs" - Calistrian Inquisitor is there for you

"The Local Lord is a brutal evil man who burned our entire village because one man failed to pay Taxes" - Calistrian Inquisitor is on the case.

Some guy wakes up in the middle of the night facing a man dressed in a Black and Yellow cloak, he's going to wet himself as every nasty thing he has ever done flashes through his mind trying to figure out who wants payback.

It's like Batman+Ghost Rider+The Punisher in one sexy package.

Very well put. I picture an inquisitor of Calistria as the ultimate hard-boiled fiction private-eye, dealing in secrets, imparting vigilante/poetic justice and willfully dealing with both the best and worst human nature has to offer.

Basically the guy you turn to when everything and everyone else has failed you. Scorned lovers, wronged victims whom traditional justice has turned its back on, those whose freedom has been taken away are all people who could seek a Calistrian inquisitor's help.

I would see such a character very well contextualized in a Sin city-like setting, for example.

Sovereign Court

Limnen_euron wrote:
I would see such a character very well contextualized in a Sin city-like setting, for example.

Or the Black Canary ex-assassin as portrayed in the Arrow show...

Shadow Lodge

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens Subscriber

Honestly Calistria seems like a good and even conventional choice for an inquisitor. It annoys me when people see Calistria and go "LOLOLOL SEX GOD OF PROSTITUTES LOLOLOLOL" and ignore the fact that she's an incredibly interesting deity with a rich backstory, strong racial ties to the elves, and with a compelling portfolio which includes several different aspects - the most relevant to an inquisitor being vengeance.


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Calistria is one of the best attempts I've seen at creating a truly Dionysian deity - one dedicated to enjoying reality at its rawest, unfiltered by preconceived notions of aesthetics or morality. Basically, her tenets can be summarized as: be your own guide, let no-one be your master. All the hedonism and individualism are merely consequences of this fundamental attitude.

Also, that doesn't mean Calistrians have to be disruptive, self-centered individuals because of this. I personally see a Calistrian answering a Sarenraenite questioning her morality along the lines of "You do good because that's what your deity asks of you, I do good of my own volition because my deity trusts my judgement".

Basically, she's a sort of nietzschean deity - which, much like her historical counterpart, has made her easily misunderstood as a Goddess of basic debauchery and petty amorality, if not outright preaching a might-makes-right justification of cruelty.

Scarab Sages

Wheldrake wrote:

One of my players wants to create an inquisitor, and out of the blue he picked Calistria as his god.

Now, I want to give maximum leeway to my players concerning their choice of characters, but I have a real problem of conceiving an inquisition in the name of trickery, lust and revenge. Does that mean he wants to put to the stake anyone opposed to his ideals?

Just seems like a very weird choice for an inquisitor. Especially since we'll also have a lawful good paladin in the party. Comments?

People could be lining up for torture sessions.....


Wheldrake wrote:

One of my players wants to create an inquisitor, and out of the blue he picked Calistria as his god.

Now, I want to give maximum leeway to my players concerning their choice of characters, but I have a real problem of conceiving an inquisition in the name of trickery, lust and revenge. Does that mean he wants to put to the stake anyone opposed to his ideals?

Just seems like a very weird choice for an inquisitor. Especially since we'll also have a lawful good paladin in the party. Comments?

I had a really hard time with the inquisitor as a class until I realized that it was the name that was holding me back. Forget the real world religious implications of the words "inquisitor and inquisition" and look at what the class does mechanically.

1) it ferrets out secrets

2) it tracks people/things down

3) it's designed to kill monsters

So my advice is stop thinking of it as the religious persecution class and start thinking of it as Van Helsing with actual god magic.

- Torger


Wheldrake wrote:

Aside from the Assimar-Varisian paladin, we've got:

- a chaotic neutral half-orc, half-Shoanti barbarian who hates Shoanti (making interactions with Belor Hemlock... er... interesting);
- an alchemist fire-bomber girl with multiple-personality disorder who inadvertently set fire to half the town square during the goblin attack, nearly killing a villager, then saving him with a cure infusion;
- a two-hander warrior-slash-ladies man who has the whole town convinced he's single-handedly responsible for saving their bacon.

The last two PCs, I don't even *know* their alignment, sometimes it's just best to let such things play out.

Honestly, if that is your party you probably need to talk to the Paladin about a character change. I don't have the hate for the Paladin that some people do, but I definitely think the party needs to be a 'Paladin party' for the game to work successfully with the majority of the party being within a step or so of LG.

It looks to me like every one of you characters, with the exception of the Paladin is chaotic, and more likely CN than CG. That is a recipe for disaster with a Paladin thrown in the mix.


Pathfinder Maps Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
Dave Justus wrote:
It looks to me like every one of you characters, with the exception of the Paladin is chaotic, and more likely CN than CG. That is a recipe for disaster with a Paladin thrown in the mix.

That's exactly what I was afraid of.

But actually, our first session last night went *really* well. Everybody is very keen on the mix of fast-paced action and investigation. It's the kind of thing you can do with low-level characters that just doesn't fly with 10+ level characters. Why? combat just starts taking too long. Any NPCs or critters baaad enough to challenge them has mongo powers, and the PCs also have mongo powers, and the round-by-round action just takes soooo long. Investigation becomes laughable once the PCs have access to advanced magic.

And even if the PCs are nominally CN-leaning, and RPed with some CN tendencies, the lads are really team players at heart. I'm lucky to have such fun, mature guys in my group.

Anyway, I'm done with the whole Calistrian Inquisitor question. I stand corrected, and read loads of good ideas here. Will have to get my hands on some of the Pathfinder novels as well. They can't be any worse than Ed Greenwood, now, can they? <g>

Scarab Sages

Wheldrake wrote:
And even if the PCs are nominally CN-leaning, and RPed with some CN tendencies, the lads are really team players at heart. I'm lucky to have such fun, mature guys in my group.

The most important element for any successful campaign.

Good luck with your games, and I hope everyone has fun.


Wheldrake wrote:
Still leery about how it would mesh with our paladin-led, heroic, save-the-widows-and-orphans campaign.

I'm sure a Calistran would appreciate a merry widow as much as any Paladin.


Limnen_euron wrote:
Greylurker wrote:


It's like Batman+Ghost Rider+The Punisher in one sexy package.

Very well put. I picture an inquisitor of Calistria as the ultimate hard-boiled fiction private-eye, dealing in secrets, imparting vigilante/poetic justice and willfully dealing with both the best and worst human nature has to offer.

Basically the guy you turn to when everything and everyone else has failed you. Scorned lovers, wronged victims whom traditional justice has turned its back on, those whose freedom has been taken away are all people who could seek a Calistrian inquisitor's help.

I would see such a character very well contextualized in a Sin city-like setting, for example.

"I am vengeance!!! I am the night !!! I am ... Well, hello there, good-looking ... "

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