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Order 66

Forum Games

1,851 to 1,873 of 1,873 << first < prev | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | next > last >>

*smiles as a debeardinator ray hits Pulg, leaving a pair of eyes only*

"Now, there will not be trouble. I never pointed it at you, Pulg."

1 person marked this as a favorite.

*The eyes glow redly for a second, then two beams shoot out, striking Sissyl and disintegrating her instantly. Before her vaporisation, she hears a voice in her head saying, "That's what you think, mam'selle"*

:enters scene, seeing two piles of ash, one with two eyeballs upon it:


:picking up the eyeballs, he casts a look left, right, and over his shoulder before doing -something- with the eyeballs. His body below the waist is out of frame, but GT is clearly struggling to put something in his pants:

:...the back of his pants:

One, aaand... two! There we go!

Scarab Sages

I curse GoatToucher with anti-gravity, causing him to float into outer space.

:"makes love" to a space whale:

I drop an emotionally distraught space whale on IHIYC from orbit.

Target "GoatToucher" detected engaging in off-planet prohibited activites.

Engaging response protocol; 'We can finally blast that horrid thing without breaking non-interference.'

*GoatToucher is summarily obliterated by a HDBC (Hyper-Dimensional Bombardment Cannon) strike.*

Dark Archive

*draws the proper sigils and elder signs and star charts and whatnot to contact the great space-kaiju Tintonbulon, which drives Iron Federation Drone and all its confederates within 10 light-years to go insane and shoot each other*

Sovereign Court

Skiron is introduced (by me) to the sacred pools of Godly Knowledge. He bathes in the waters, which completely heal him and fill his head with the answer to everything. The combination of these things cause Skiron to become so insane that he dies from his brain literally melting.

Dark Archive

*wordlessly decapitates Count Reiner Heydrich with Black Blade, then chops body into 6 perfectly equal segments*

:Xukong trembles a moment, then he and the Black Blade explode:

:their Evil whisps up from their broken forms as a black mist, which coalesces into a column of foul smelling smoke, from which emerges GoatToucher:


Ahh... Bracing!

:gingerly walks between chunks of unholy armored champion and Blade of Penultimate Evil shards and strolls down the street toward home:


I see a blemish on GoatToucher's forehead, so I grab some industrial grade polishing compound and a buffing wheel made out of high carbonate steel. I am very sad to report that while GoatToucher met his demise during this process, the blemish is STILL THERE. So frustrating!!!

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I poison JTDV, then strangle him, then shoot him four times, then dump him in a river wrapped in a carpet, then beat him to death with a stick when he gets up. Sometimes the classics are best.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I fly into space, carrying an angry lion with scythes on its paws, botulism in its gaze and a gluten-rich volcano for a nose, then drop the angry scythe botulo-carb volcano schnozz lion onto Sissyl from a great height.

Sometimes the classics are best.


:sits in a swivel chair, sipping tea from a china cup, while a large laser apparatus emits a beam that slowly creeps up the platform Pulg is strapped to:

You see, what people never seem to think of in this situation is that the laser bisects you groin-first, which means you have a few minutes to consider what is happening to you before the beam gets to your upper torso and your boiling fluids cook your heart as if your chest cavity were a steam-cooker.

:the beam draws closer:

I'm just going to record this, if you don't mind. The sounds you'll make should be... helpful later this evening.

:flicks a switch on a small device:

:explosion from a nearby doorway, a dashing man in a Tuxedo enters, carrying a pistol:

DM: "Good evening, Mr. Toucher! I hope you don't mind if I- GLURK!"

:the man falls off the catwalk and into the lava below. Jambi stands a foot behind, cleaning an ornate dagger:

GT: Feel free to "Glurk!" as much as suits you, whoever you are... were.

:the sizzling of laser on flesh begins, along with other sounds, as well as the smell of burnt hair, ultimately resulting in a bisected Pulg:

GT: :purrs:

Scarab Sages

After that's all finished, I surreptitiously swipe the now-bisected tuxedo Pulg was wearing, then Hide it In GoatToucher's Closet, now mended and with the latter's monogram sewn into the lapel. He inevitably finds the fine thing and chooses to wear it - and is completely unprepared not only for the thorough coating of superglue on its interior, but for the generous internal coating of Pulg's hair, causing the trapped GoatToucher to itch to death.

Sovereign Court

IHIYC hears the loud, ear splitting scream of JTDV as I finally kill the latter from many posts ago. Indeed the scream is so loud, that IHIYC's brain ceases to function.

I start a stampede killing both you, Count Reiner Heydrich, and Simba's Dad. Not only do you die, but I got you in the feels as you remember that scene. <insert evil laugh here>

Scarab Sages

I stare back with such terrifying jaded indifference to that particular scene in my eyes that it turns JTDIII to stone.

I produce a child, whose innocent, uncomplicated laughter and joy penetrates IHIYC's jaded exterior, causing his heart to grow three sizes. This, consequently, collapses his lungs and suffocates him.

I introduce GoatToucher to what he thinks is the biggest [REDACTED] he's ever seen, but which is, in fact, a live torpedo.

I stab Pulg through his brain with a pencil in the IRS building. Tax write-off!

Scarab Sages

Behold, everyone! My new semi-autonomous heavy-duty flying machine, internally fueled by an efficient combination of alcohol, brimstone, and phlogiston, can be used to deliver parcels, chart terrain, locate missing persons, and-

*flying machine plows into side of IRS building, causing it to collapse with JTDV still inside*

Oh, dear. Well, it could do that, too....

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