Unbeknownst to all, that we my evil twin Not-Quite-So-Molten-Dragon who was killed. AZK is offed by the ghosts of Arnold and Danny in a grisly explosion of meat and gore.
:puts gun to MD's temple:
This won't bring her back, but you won't be coming back either.
:BANGBANG:
I slingshot GoatToucher into space. I was kind enough to give him a few granola bars and a juice box for the ride.
I become a vengeful specter, haunting I'm Hiding's every step...
One day, I'm Hiding "forgets" to turn off his gas stove...he later comes home and flips on the light switch... BOOM! goes I'm Hiding!
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A dill pickle is rammed unceremoniously through Gregors ear and out the other. Don't worry it was a kosher pickle....
I get two separate armies of gnomes to Brain Floss Molten Dragon.
I braid Pulg's hair into ropes and tie him to the figurehead of the Titanic.
I convince Kobold Cleaver to feed a mob of gremlins after midnight...
I burn GG to death by doing the Neutron Dance.
I attach a Shocking Burst Hitachi wand to the slide of a damp trombone:
*Zkkkhhhh! Bzzz*
Play a descending glissando on it, launching the wand across the room into AoZK's eager little paws:
*AAAaaaaaaaarp* "Oooh!"
Then turn the dial to Mega Stupendo Critical, plug the whole thing into the mains and run off.
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I fire my livestock gun at Pulg, which causes a four legged herbivore to strike him at over six hundred mph.
Poog dip GoatGroper in honey, tie him up and leave him in middle of army ant colony. They eat him alive, which much muffled agony.
I revoke old Pooglington's shanking license whereby he disintegrates himself through sheer force of will.
I make "Molty" Fitzmoltersford Dinsdale Dumptruck Dragon III a nice big jug of Southern Sweet Tea, which dissolves him from the inside without any further action on my part over several minutes
I stick a five foot pole in the back of Pulgatollah Khomeihi's skull and use him as a mop.
I use a scroll of lesser planar ally to call a fiendish chupacabra, then train the creature to hum the Thrune coronation anthem while gargling goat guts.
Then... I use my assassin's death attack ability against GoatToucher while the fiendish chupacabra distracts him/her with the aforementioned humming routine.
My corpse clogs up the steamboat's paddle wheel, setting in motion a calamitous mechanical malfunction. The steamboat—with IHIYC on board—soon explodes in a bloom (carnation?) of orange flame.
After the SS Handbasket has been dredged up, restored and relaunched, I appear on deck in a stripey blazer, straw hat and handlebar 'tache, gulling rubes like nobody's business. During one of my games, I take time out to shoot Helena with a Derringer for accusing me of cheating, just to add a touch of authenticity.
I stuff a thermal detonator up R2-FU's *beepboop* and run like heck. The resulting explosion levels him, the school, the tree out back....
I lock IHIYC in the closet and transport the said closet and everything inside into a raging volcano.
I throw a bucket of water over BSM.
I toss one of Sissyl's gead scarves into a ceiling fan, which winds them around until it sends her twirling around the room, ultimately tearing the "hat" from her head, exposing her brain to the elements.
Which I then poke with a stick.
I weld a Goat Repulsor Ray onto GT's crotch, watch him running around howling in frustration for a few delightful hours, then turn on the reverse switch in order to experience first hand what a human (?) bludgeoned to death by two dozen goats looks like.
I weld a Goat Repulsor Ray onto GT's crotch, watch him running around howling in frustration for a few delightful hours, then turn on the reverse switch in order to experience first hand what a human (?) bludgeoned to death by two dozen goats looks like.
I add Iocane Powder to Plug's morning coffee.
I secretly replace TCG's blood with decaf Folger's Crystals. The resulting tasteless brew eventually grows cold and someone dumps TCG down the drain.
I set Molten Dragon's thermostat to "Siberian DeathWinter". The massive amount of cold damage doesn't quite kill him/her, but the resulting pnecro-pneumonia does.
I pluck the rest of Phil Agree's feathers and cook me up a good meal. He tastes not to different from Turkey.
Using prestidigitation (while 10' away, holding my breath), I clean all the nasty off of The Nasty Orc while he sleeps. When his nasty tribemates discover him, they mistake him for an elf and crush him with orc-rocks (like regular rocks, but nastier).
Btw, I think I taste more like Greece.
Phil Agree does, in fact, taste like the Sanjak of Novi Pazar.
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One day when Pulg was not looking, I convert him to electronic data and download him to an 8" floppy disk. The disk is then discarded as obsolete in the local landfill where, after a time, the magnetic bonds fade and Pulg is reduced to an error message. Filename or path not found.
I fill a bucket with fire-resistant Tribble-rot grub hybrids (Rot Grubbles? Fraggle Rots?) and dump them on Molten Dragon. My scheme appears foiled when his/her damage reduction prevents infestation, but I was unaware of Molten Dragon's secret weakness...
The ever-growing, squirming mass of fuzzy purr-asites soon overwhelm Molten Dragon, whose manic giggling suddenly stops... forever.
Cause of death: Ticklishness. (or maybe vulnerability to furries, I'm not entirely sure).
I put iocain in Helena's coffee.
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By making a successful Bluff check ( ), I distract Sissyl and switch our coffees.
...
*sips coffee nonchalantly*
...
*faceplants into table*
...
Luckily for me, Humperdinck (via The Machine) kills Sissyl later. Mostly, anyway.
Hehe, what a crappy Bluff check ;)
HH already being dead, I am left with nobody to kill.
To kill time, I take the corpse to my "workroom".
A ton o' nuns = a double-edged sword. Once released, they continue rampaging à la the Tarrasque until banished or otherwise defeated.
IHIYC soon learns this, when the 2d6 nun swarms turn their dreadful attention to him/her. Corporal nun-ishment ensues. And IHIYC's death... eventually.
I put iocain in Helena's coffee.
I defeat the Tiny Coffee Golem with sulphuric acid, or the best way to ruin a good cup of coffee.
I make IHIYC dream of a lovely sausage he can never have and watch him pine away thereafter.