Game Master Scotty |
Feeling refreshed and exfoliated after my spa time, I bolo TFF's legs, tie him to a plank, turn it upside down and immerse his head in holy water.
Draight |
unsure about how this works I step up reenergized by the tiny dinosaurs attempt. I cut the horns off the not so fantastic friend and grind it up selling it to some wandering fools. I then grind down his teeth and carry it with me to use at my own personal toothpaste. I leave the rest to follow me as I continue on my slaughter of unfinished deeds. I then look at the order in my hand. Another f#*%ing dinosaur? Too easy. I cut off its head with a butter knife I took from fantastic fiends pocket and begin to jimmy out hits teeth -- more toothpaste... Game Master Scotty appears to be out of his element as I'm his game master now... I brain storm various things I could do with his corpse and conclude the best would be to stuff it into the worthless bard's belly I saw earlier. He was also a dinosaur -- it seems fitting that one inept killer ought be shoved into the other.
I look back at the tiny dead bard dinosaur stuffed with game master scotty and grin to myself. I think I'm understanding how this works...
Game Master Scotty |
Having played under a guy who works for TPK games, and considers death an appropriate award for hard work, I chuckle at mearly being stuffed into a dinosaur belly and I chew my way out of the Rex belly. I then hire a legion of Pirate-Ninjas to dice, slice and dose with rum my next meal, Draight. Medium well please. Then...
OM NOM NOM
urp..excuse me!
Draight |
finding it fascinating how well my magician's friend spell worked, I step out of the woods to notice the inept game master clawing his way out of the gut of the other dinosaur. I watch as his commands a legion of Pirate-Ninjas -- a truly tragic combination of fantasy fiction -- hack at a clone of myself. I watch as the joyful 'GM Scotty' chokes down a clone, of which, was neither tainted nor marred.
"I hope you enjoyed your snack" I mumble as I draw my sword.
Terror appears in game master scotty's eyes and he begins to gag on an otherwise pleasant meal.
"Fear not, tragic being of a bygone era, I come to return you from whence you belong."
Without effort and lacking in dramatic description I will summarize the fate of the lesser small dinosaur below:
I'm not certain if this is the worst dragon ever fought or he was frightened to see me beside him. He sat there, awestruck, as I removed his teeth -- filing them down as done in previous victories. Not sure how this becomes tooth paste, I continue the practice and add it to the vial I keep in may bag labeled "victim's teeth paste". Once completed I take a step back and listen as the toothless GM narrates a number of other stories of fanciful legions (such as bird-dogs, cowboy turtles, and ninja-pirates) come to seek vengeance.
I grin and put the poor sap out of his misery and stuff it back within the other small dinosaur.
"there you go little guy"
I'm Hiding In Your Closet |
Having been a personal acquaintance of the late, great Stirling Colgate, I contact and bind with his spirit via Pact Magic, giving me the power to transmute toothpaste into an incredibly powerful and volatile explosive. Say, Mr. Draight? What's in that bag you're carrying around? You don't say....
Draight |
glancing down at my paste made of teeth and back up at this clearly insane clown I suggest this 'tooth paste' shares very little resemblance to to toothpaste that bears the same name as this Mr. Colgate. This paste is formed from tooth powder and saliva -- I'm not even sure why I carry it around -- I think it has something to do with leaving my victims speechless...but I digress.
You say you have acquired the ability to transmute toothpaste into an explosive? I'm afraid this skill has little application to me or my tooth paste.
*a paper is slipped into my hands bearing the words Order 66: Clownman* -- you don't say...
I'm Hiding In Your Closet |
Watching somewhat astonished as Draight tries to negate my kill rather than be rather more proactive, I am content to give him a knowing grin and stand around waiting for a few seconds before an armored knight with poor posture saunters up to him and hits him over the head with a rubber chicken...which was also filled with an EXTREMELY volatile mixture of Crelm toothpaste and Shrill petrol.
Jurassic Bard |
I draw out a sword and slash Poog's left arm off at the elbow, I do the same with his right arm. Next, I cut off both of his legs at the knees, then I sever his head off his body and finally slice Poog's head in half. Afterwards, I plunge my sword into Poog's lifeless (and of course, headless) body.
I'm Hiding In Your Closet |
I whip out my Cosmic Lasso to wrangle the white hole that that black hole connects to, and park it behind Jurassic Bard. The force from the white hole summarily pushes him past the event horizon and down into the black hole...spitting him out the white hole...back into the black hole, in a Portal-style infinite loop.
Grundolker |
*Shape shift into Goro. Grab GoatToucher and hoist him up off the ground, rip off his limbs one at a time, turn him upside down, smash his head into a bloody pulp on the ground, then tear his body in two.* Fatality!
This thread is very much like mortal kombat (as we keep killing each other in horrible fashion and we don't stay dead).
I'm Hiding In Your Closet |
I don't get mad. I recognize Game Master Scotty's aberrant behavior for what it is: An all-too-understandable panic reaction in the face of global warming's destruction of ocean habitats worldwide. I magnanimously relocate him to waters that may now be better suited to his kind: The Fukushima Bay Area.
Draight |
Draight stifles a laugh as the clown's eyes glaze over -- he must be having a nice day dream about that dinosaur he's staring at -- a big drop os spittle trickles down the clowns face. I tiptoe up to him and inject him with mercury. I'm not sure if this will kill you but I'm pretty sure that the glazed look in your eyes won't be leaving anytime soon
Game Master Scotty |
Enjoying my new found bath I..gerrr...arrr..
RWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
grow grow grow GROW
Now Kaiju sized, I breath my new radioative breath weapon on the rat and the surrounding town, while jamming out to Blue Oyster Cult.
Searing fire effects!!!
Thanks for the upgrade IHIYC!!!
Pulg |
*whumWHUMWHUM*
Suddenly, Pulg, travelling though a rift in the luminiferous aethyr and materialising behind IHIYC, rips the protrusions off his antagonist's hat and stuffs them up his nose, choking him.
I do not know what sound would best represent ripping up a clown's plush headgear and suffocating him with it. Possibly HHHRRP! HHHRP! HRRRP! SCHMSHCNGNCHKH UKHUKHUKHNNNGH! . Possibly not.