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This is a silly idea I've had in my head for quite some time, and I've finally decided to up and stat the things out. Exotic Weapon, Axe-Chucks:
1d8 damage Bludgeoning/Slashing types.
19/20x3 critical multiplier.
Self-Endangerment quality.
Self-Endangerment: Every round in which a creature wields this weapon, they must succeed against a DC 15(?) Reflex save upon the start of their turn. Failure results in the character striking themselves with the full fury of a single swing as a swift action. They may proceed to act normally for the remainder of the round.
This mysterious weapon was invented by a crazed hermit long ago who had a clear dislike for either himself or those around him. Though the secrets to replicating this weapon have long been lost, a rare few pieces still exist.
So, gag weapon or not, what does everybody think?
EDIT: Added Damage types.
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Perhaps make the DC a 20, reduce it by 4 if you have proficiency, and a further 1 when you get weapon focus in that weapon.
By all means, a creative weapon. Go ahead and use it all you want in your games, that is the point, after all.
I was thinking the DC might be too low, but reducing it based on feats and skills the player has is a good idea. Consider the DC 20.
So, Self-Endangerment will now read as "Must succeed at a DC 20 Reflex Save upon the start of their turn. The DC of this save is reduced by 4 if the wielder has Proficiency with Axe-Chucks, and by another point if they have weapon focus (Axe-Chucks)."
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What about Greater Weapon Focus? Also, any chance of an Armoire of Invincibility?
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19/20 x3 doesn't really fit the axe-heads IMO. Maybe just 20 x3, but add the disarm property?
Given some of the other ridiculously dangerous weapons, DC 15 should be more than enough.
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... This thread makes me so happy.
Also: dot.
Also: stat-block.
Axe Chucks [Cost 80g; Damage: 1d8/1d8; Critical:19-20/x3; Weight: 15 lbs.; Type: S or B; Disarm, Self-Endangerment]
Self-Endangerment: Every round in which a creature wields this weapon, they must succeed against a DC 20 Reflex save upon the start of his turn. Failure results in the character striking himself with the full fury of a single swing as a swift action. He may proceed to act normally for the remainder of the round. A character who is proficient with this weapon reduces the DC by 4. A character with Weapon Focus reduces the DC by 1. These reductions stack.
This mysterious weapon was invented by a crazed hermit long ago who had a clear dislike for either himself or those around him. Though the secrets to replicating this weapon have long been lost, a rare few pieces still exist.
OPTIONAL VARIANT:
Self-Endangerment: Every round in which a creature wields this weapon, they must succeed against a DC 20 Reflex save upon the start of his turn. Failure results in the character striking himself with the full fury of a single swing as a swift action. If he rolls a natural 1, he must make a Disarm attempt against himself, causing him to either drop the weapon or badly hurt himself (50% chance of either; treat as a Called Shot to a random body part). He may otherwise proceed to act normally for the remainder of the round. A character who is proficient with this weapon reduces the DC by 4. A character with Weapon Focus reduces the DC by 1. These reductions stack.
Also: why bludgeoning? and why 19-20? EDIT: ninja'd by Blaphers.
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...
...
... This thread makes me so happy.
Also: dot.
Also: stat-block.
Axe Chucks [Cost 80g; Damage: 1d8/1d8; Critical:19-20/x3; Weight: 15 lbs.; Type: S or B; Disarm, Self-Endangerment]
Self-Endangerment: Every round in which a creature wields this weapon, they must succeed against a DC 20 Reflex save upon the start of his turn. Failure results in the character striking himself with the full fury of a single swing as a swift action. He may proceed to act normally for the remainder of the round. A character who is proficient with this weapon reduces the DC by 4. A character with Weapon Focus reduces the DC by 1. These reductions stack.
This mysterious weapon was invented by a crazed hermit long ago who had a clear dislike for either himself or those around him. Though the secrets to replicating this weapon have long been lost, a rare few pieces still exist.
OPTIONAL VARIANT:
Self-Endangerment: Every round in which a creature wields this weapon, they must succeed against a DC 20 Reflex save upon the start of his turn. Failure results in the character striking himself with the full fury of a single swing as a swift action. If he rolls a natural 1, he must make a Disarm attempt against himself, causing him to either drop the weapon or badly hurt himself (50% chance of either; treat as a Called Shot to a random body part). He may otherwise proceed to act normally for the remainder of the round. A character who is proficient with this weapon reduces the DC by 4. A character with Weapon Focus reduces the DC by 1. These reductions stack.Also: why bludgeoning? and why 19-20? EDIT: ninja'd by Blaphers.
Thanks for the idea, self disarming would be just perfect for how this is going.
To answer why bludgeoning, originally, it was because I imagined it with one head, the other being a handle for bashing, I've decided against that, and shall remove it from future iterations, since two heads are better than one. The increased threat range was from the idea that it would be harder to properly defend against and strike critically more frequently.
I think we can safely add Performance to the weapon as well as Disarm. Might be pushing it as a Monk weapon though.
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What about Greater Weapon Focus? Also, any chance of an Armoire of Invincibility?
So, given that fighter is a master swordsman who relies on STR, let's presume he started with STR of 20 (18+2 from human).
Presuming he leveled up and put all his ability points into STR (and, sure, let's go ahead and spot him inherent bonuses, too), that'd put him at just around 30 STR later. I'm getting to why this is important, I promise.
Going by this comic (as well as those in front of it) we know that it was straining the limits of Fighter's Carrying Capacity (such a shame he failed his CON/DEX check there). Now, getting a price for wood seems a little bit difficult (), but let's go ahead and base it off of the Darkwood price - it is invincible, after all!
So, a STR of 30 is like a STR of 20 but x4 to all the benefits. So, light (133), medium (266), heavy/lift over head (400), lift off ground (800), push/drag (2,000).
Well, fighter is clearly lifting it over head... but at the same time, he's just as clearly suffering the penalties of "lift off ground" (at least until he supports the full weight with his spine - which causes problems!), thus we'll split the difference and presume the armoire caps out at about 402 lbs. That puts it at a value of 4,020 gold! What a haul! Of course, as we later learn, the bottom is made of cheap particle board, so that probably knocks off, like, 20g, which is nice. It also introduces the nice "Cheap Construction" trait.
Cheap Construction: The armoire is entirely invincible... except, of course, for the fact that it was constructed with cheap particle board on the bottom. If it's ever used as a weapon or dropped on anyone, they can make a DC 20 Reflex save to avoid taking any damage, as the particle board is the part that lands on them. In that case, they end up inside the armoire. Particle board has the same hardness as paper or cloth.
Anyway, so clearly, the Armoire of Invincibility was treated with Invincible Varnish (a little known fact that this is the same substance that Heironeous was dipped in - it is known, in some languages, as a variant of meersalm, which, to be frank, sounds much cooler).
This stoneskin except if the spell absorbs all the damage dealt by a weapon, the weapon must make a Fortitude saving throw or take 3d6 points of damage.
So the armoire, being invincible (as well as heavily fortified, impervious (related), and practically invulnerable) gains DR 10/(magic and adamantine and bludgeoning or slashing), and has resist (acid, cold, electricity, fire, sonic) 5, as well as +40 to its break DC, and +20 to its hardness, and +100 hit points, compared to its normal state. It's also probably had the hardening and the ironwood (permanently) spells cast on it. That's (presumptively - this is a mythical thing we're talking about) another +20 to hardness, as well as an extra +20 hp/inch of thickness.
So, we know, all told, that it has:
DR 10/(magical [bludgeoning or slashing] adamantine), and has resist (acid, cold, electricity, fire, sonic) 5, as well as +40 to its break DC, and +20 to its hardness, and +100 hit points, compared to its normal state. It's also probably had the hardening spell cast on it. That's (presumptively - this is a mythical thing we're talking about) a 50 hardness, as well as an extra 30 hp/inch of thickness+100 hp. That's a lot of invincibility!
So... about how big is this thing? Well, I can't really find it, but a door works fairly well as a base of potential adjucation - put three of 'em together (two on the front and back, and one split into two for the sides) and you've just about got an armoire.
Now, despite the heaviness of the armoire, putting three iron doors together would be way too much! At 3,200 lbs each, that'd be 9,600 lbs.! Even presuming Darkwood benefits (making it half weight, or 4,800 lbs., as well as increasing the DEX bonus by 1 and lowering the acp by 2), that's way too heavy - even with a generous reading - for our poor fighter to carry at all! Even under Ant Haul, it would cap out the Fighter's strength ability to carry at all!
Well, it may be heavy from all that invincibility, but that doesn't mean it's not under a lighten object spell! Whew! Now it's only 2,400 lbs... but, unfortunately, it's still way too heavy.
Hm... well, since Fighter clearly focuses on maxing out his strength, he probably has a belt of giant's strength +6, pushing his STR up to 36, and permitting him to carry 3,680 lbs. as his heavy load. Hm... a bit too much, but, after all, we were mostly just trying to figure out a rough range and viable possibility, not Fighter's exact stats, so he likely has a lower inherent bonus, base strength, or belt.
So! 2,400 lbs. seems juuuuuuuuust about right.
Awesome! Well, then, what is the Armoire of Invincibility's stats? That's what we've been doing here right? Well... I'm kind of out of time. But next post, maybe, I'll finish this project...
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One Iron Door (2 in. thick): hardness 10, hp 60, break DC 28.
I forgot! It almost certainly has Greater Energy Resistance!
So, that takes care of all of the basics.
But how much is it worth?
66k x5 (all the greater energy resistances) = 330,000g
137,650g (invincible armor), but +75,000g for going from +5 armor to +10 armor; -1,650 for losing the masterwork fullplate price = 211,000g
Constant magic (lvl 30 CL; two lvl 6 spells and a lvl 1 spell): [6*30*2k]*2 plus [30*2k] = 720,000g plus 60,000g = 780,000g
+48,000g [4,800 lbs. via darkwood before lighten object is applied]
1,820+150+150+30+150 for armor qualities: 2,300g
0,330,000g
+ 211,000g
+ 780,000g
+ 048,000g
+ 002,300g
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1,371,300g
So, in the end, that nets us a decent mythical armoire.
Aura overwhelming various; CL 30th Weight 2,400 lbs.; Price minor artifact (effectively 1,371,300 gp)
The Armoire of Invincibility has all of the following statistics as an item: hardness 70, hp 280, break DC 68, reacts to fire like steel (despite being made of Darkwood).
The Armoire of Invincibility has all of the following statistics as an item, and grants them to the bearer: DR 10/(magical [bludgeoning or slashing] adamantine), resist (acid, cold, electricity, fire, sonic) 35.
When it is equipped (a move action to open the doors and climb in) it otherwise functions as both a +2 stone plate with armored kilt and a +5 tower shield (providing a +12 armor bonus to AC and a +9 shield bonus to AC; for a total of +21 to AC; due to confined space, you are only permitted a +1 DEX bonus to your AC while it is equipped), though it's impossible to move while it's equipped; alternatively it grants total cover when closed (a move action) or cover if you hide behind it (instead of its normal benefits).
It also has the Cheap Construction and Varnish of Invincibility qualities.
Cheap Construction: The armoire is entirely invincible... except, of course, for the fact that it was constructed with cheap particle board on the bottom. If it's ever used as a weapon or dropped on anyone, they can make a DC 20 Reflex save to avoid taking any damage, as the particle board is the part that lands on them. In that case, they end up inside the armoire. Particle board has the same hardness as paper or cloth.
Varnish of Invincibility: If an item treated by the Varnish absorbs all the damage dealt by a weapon or other item (the hardness or damage reduction negating any hit point damage), the weapon or item must make a Fortitude saving throw or take 3d6 points of damage.
The Armoire of Invincibility is an ancient, massive armoire (well, it's pretty average for an armoire, really) that was treated with the the Varnish of Invincibility (and thus tastes like said Varnish - a fact that few know). It sat in Matoya's cave for many years, gathering dust, until - due to miscommunication - she gave it away to a young Fighter who sought the Armor of Invincibility. It was nice to have it out of her cave, and he seemed happy (though he later put it in a hypercube to avoid having to carry it everywhere).
So, enjoy!
EDIT: a couple of times for clarity and tags; and two important qualities!
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Updated Axe Chucks, yo! (In case anyone was curious.)
Axe Chucks [Cost 80g; Damage: 1d8/1d8; Critical:19-20/x3; Weight: 15 lbs.; Type: S; Disarm, Performance, Self-Endangerment]
Self-Endangerment: Every round in which a creature wields this weapon, they must succeed against a DC 20 Reflex save upon the start of his turn. Failure results in the character striking himself with the full fury of a single swing as a swift action. If he rolls a natural 1, he must make a Disarm attempt against himself, causing him to either drop the weapon or badly hurt himself (50% chance of either; treat as a Called Shot to a random body part if he hurts himself). He may otherwise proceed to act normally for the remainder of the round. A character who is proficient with this weapon reduces the DC by 4. A character with Weapon Focus reduces the DC by 1. These reductions stack.
This mysterious weapon was invented by a crazed hermit long ago who had a clear dislike for either himself or those around him. Though the secrets to replicating this weapon have long been lost, a rare few pieces still exist.
OPTIONAL SUGGESTION: should the Reflex save DC also decrease by an amount equal to any enhancement bonus it has and/or the masterwork property? That might turn this into a viable weapon, though...
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OPTIONAL SUGGESTION: should the Reflex save DC also decrease by an amount equal to any enhancement bonus it has and/or the masterwork property? That might turn this into a viable weapon, though...
I for one think that this is already the best weapon in the game and thus do not believe it requires further buffing.
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Hah! Houserule schisms arise! ARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISE!!!!
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This weapon is clearly designed for flavor, but maybe further reductions to the DC wouldn't hurt. I mean, a 4th level ranger with 14 DEX and proficiency shouldn't be hitting himself 45% of the time with these weapons. let masterwork reduce it a little bit more, and enhancement bonuses can do the same thing. You'll still be hitting yourself plenty often.
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Three words, monk...weapon...quality. only then will you have a true masterpiece.
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Honestly? It's not scary enough.
Aside from the damage type versatility, it's more or less the same as a falcata - in order to earn that Self-Endangerment quality (for which a DC 20 Reflex save is awfully high; bear in mind that an Evoker with 20 Intelligence and Greater Spell Focus still couldn't begin to demand Reflex saves like that until they were capable of 3rd-level spells), it needs to offer more.
How's a 1d10 damage die, the reach quality, and the ability to still target adjacent foes in spite of the reach quality sound?
Even then, I'd be inclined to lower the save DC: Proficiency lowers it to 15, Weapon Focus lowers it to 12...and masterwork versions raise the DC by 1, a +1 enhancement bonus increases it by 5, and every point of enhancement bonus thereafter increases it by an additional 2. Sound fair?
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Honestly? It's not scary enough.
Aside from the damage type versatility, it's more or less the same as a falcata - in order to earn that Self-Endangerment quality (for which a DC 20 Reflex save is awfully high; bear in mind that an Evoker with 20 Intelligence and Greater Spell Focus still couldn't begin to demand Reflex saves like that until they were capable of 3rd-level spells), it needs to offer more.
How's a 1d10 damage die, the reach quality, and the ability to still target adjacent foes in spite of the reach quality sound?
Even then, I'd be inclined to lower the save DC: Proficiency lowers it to 15, Weapon Focus lowers it to 12...and masterwork versions raise the DC by 1, a +1 enhancement bonus increases it by 5, and every point of enhancement bonus thereafter increases it by an additional 2. Sound fair?
So, it gets safer, but as soon as someone starts upgrading it, it goes back? I'm up for the higher damage die, and making it a double weapon, but I'm not sure about reach. The first two fit thematically, not as much the reach quality.
And Monk weapon quality it is.
Psh, Axe-chucks are so blase. If you really want to leave an impression, you need to invest in a nice set of Gunchuks.
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I now know what I must do...|
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So, it gets safer, but as soon as someone starts upgrading it, it goes back? I'm up for the higher damage die, and making it a double weapon, but I'm not sure about reach. The first two fit thematically, not as much the reach quality.
It made sense enough to me, but okay - the alternative I'd thought of was also expanding the threat range to 18-20.
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So, I have to say, despite having read the entry twice, I'm genuinely shocked that nunchaku are not a double weapon. The reason I'd presumed they were is because the original Swordchucks were designed to be two sword blades (not handles, mind - just the blades) connected to each other by a length of chain (similar to "nunchucks" or nunchaku), hence the name. That certainly sounds like a double weapon to me!
That is why I made them a double weapon - I thought that was both Green Smashomancer's intent, and the nature of the weapon. Boy did my reading comprehension suck in the place of confirmation bias, there.
Anyway, I've built a few variants here. For comparison, I've also built similarly structured "Sword Chucks" (I'm not sure if someone else has done this - probably, but I'm just unaware of it). This allows us to get a basic "template" for "martial chuck" weapons to understand what happens. I also added an Unpossible Wielding special property, considering how it was used in the comic that inspired all of this.
EDIT: And gunchucks. Because gunchucks.
Two-Handed Exotic Weapon
1) Axe Chucks [Cost 40g; Damage: 1d8; Critical:19-20/x3; Weight: 10 lbs.; Type: S; Disarm, Monk, Performance, Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]
2) Axe Chucks [Cost 80g; Damage: 1d8/1d8; Critical:19-20/x3; Weight: 15 lbs.; Type: S; Disarm, Monk, Performance, Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]
3) Axe Chucks [Cost 100g; Damage: 1d10/1d10; Critical: x3; Weight: 20 lbs.; Type: S; Disarm, Monk, Performance, Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]
Two-Handed Exotic Weapon
1) Sword Chucks [Cost 60g; Damage: 1d8; Critical:18-20/x2; Weight: 8 lbs.; Type: S; Disarm, Monk, Performance, Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]
2) Sword Chucks [Cost 110g; Damage: 1d8/1d8; Critical:18-20/x2; Weight: 10 lbs.; Type: S; Disarm, Monk, Performance, Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]
3) Sword Chucks [Cost 150g; Damage: 1d10/1d10; Critical: 19-20/x2; Weight: 15 lbs.; Type: S; Disarm, Monk, Performance, Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]
EDIT:
Two-Handed Exotic Weapon [melee or ranged]
1) Gun Chucks [Cost: 10,000g; Damage: 1d8; Critical:19-20/x4; Range: 20 ft. or melee, Misfire: 1, Capacity: 12 [6 per gun]; Weight: 10 lbs.; Type: B and P or B; Disarm, Monk, Performance, Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]
1) Gun Chucks [Cost: 15,000g; Damage: 1d8/1d8; Critical:19-20/x4; Range: 20 ft. or melee, Misfire: 1, Capacity: 12 [6 per gun]; Weight: 12 lbs.; Type: B and P or B; Disarm, Monk, Performance, Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]
3) Gun Chucks [Cost: 20,000g; Damage: 1d10/1d10; Critical: x4; Range: 20 ft. or melee, Misfire: 1, Capacity: 12 [6 per gun]; Weight: 14 lbs.; Type: B and P or B; Disarm, Monk, Performance, Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]
Gun Chuck Versatility: To those that use them, Gunchucks are usable as ranged weapons or melee weapons. When wielded as melee weapons, they function as nunchaku (or, if specially structured to be able to do so, as a quarterstaff as a swift action) for all purposes, though they maintain the Self-Endangerment special quality; in this case, though, the Self-Endangerment quality means the attack has a 50% chance to fire off at a random creature in range each round instead of just the wielder, so long as there are bullets remaining.
Self-Endangerment: Every round in which a creature wields this weapon, they must succeed against a DC 20 Reflex save upon the start of his turn. Failure results in the character striking himself with the full fury of a single swing as a swift action. If he rolls a natural 1, he must make a Disarm attempt against himself, causing him to either drop the weapon or badly hurt himself (50% chance of either; treat as a Called Shot to a random body part if he hurts himself). He may otherwise proceed to act normally for the remainder of the round. A character who is proficient with this weapon reduces the DC by 4. A character with Weapon Focus reduces the DC by 1. These reductions stack.
OPTIONAL VARIANT RULES: The Reflex DC may be reduced by multiple other methods as well. A masterwork variant of the weapon reduces the Reflex DC by 1. The Reflex DC is also reduced by an amount equal to the weapon's enhancement bonus. Greater Weapon Focus further reduces the DC by 1.
Unpossible Wielding: For the truly dedicated, a true master of martial arts and form, the Unpossible becomes necessary. If a wielder has Proficiency with Axechucks*, as well as Weapon Focus and Greater Weapon Focus, they may take Exotic Weapon Proficiency (axechucks) a second time. By taking Exotic Weapon Proficiency (Axechucks)* a second time, the wielder may now perform the necessarily Unpossible feat of wielding two sets of axechucks* simultaneously, making them akin to chainsaws**.
This mysterious weapon was invented by a crazed hermit long ago who had a clear dislike for either himself or those around him. Though the secrets to replicating this weapon have long been lost, a rare few pieces still exist.
*
**
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So, I have to say, despite having read the entry twice, I'm genuinely shocked that nunchaku are not a double weapon. The reason I'd presumed they were is because the original Swordchucks were designed to be two sword blades (not handles, mind - just the blades) connected to each other by a length of chain (similar to "nunchucks" or nunchaku), hence the name. That certainly sounds like a double weapon to me!
That is why I made them a double weapon - I thought that was both Green Smashomancer's intent, and the nature of the weapon. Boy did my reading comprehension suck in the place of confirmation bias, there.
Anyway, I've built a few variants here. For comparison, I've also built similarly structured "Sword Chucks" (I'm not sure if someone else has done this - probably, but I'm just unaware of it). This allows us to get a basic "template" for "martial chuck" weapons to understand what happens. I also added an Unpossible Wielding special property, considering how it was used in the comic that inspired all of this.
I have to say, I'm surprised nunchaku aren't double weapons myself, I also forgot that sword-chucks didn't even have handles. I also like that you're establishing a system for something chucks. Opens up a lot of ideas, like the aforementioned gun-chucks, or maybe nunchaku-chucks.
My votes have to go to variant #2 for chucks both sword and axe, I really want them to be dual-wield-able double weapons, this maximizes the potential of the Unpossible. But, I'm considering a different damage die. And possibly adding a note in Self Endangerment that requires a mostly superfluous attack roll, one that literally only exists so that the wielder has a chance to crit themselves.
EDIT: I'm pretty sure that it isn't possible to invent a better weapon than gun-chucks. And I'd still go for option #2.
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It's pretty easy to see why Nunchaku aren't double-weapons. You hold a double weapon in such a way that you can attack with both heads without significantly changing your grip. The double-bladed sword has a handle in the middle and blades sticking out both ends. Nunchaku, however, though you can use either handle to attack, the other handle is, inherently, used to hold and not to attack unless you change your grip to the other handle. The two striking surfaces for Nunchaku is more akin to a sword being sharpened on both sides; you can hit them with one blade going one way and with the other blade on the backswing, but it's not a double weapon. Likewise, you can hit with one bar of the nunchaku, switch it to the other hand, holding by the bar with which you just struck, and attack with the handle you were previously holding, but it's not the kind of weapon with which you can attack with both handles effortlessly. That's why it isn't a double weapon. In order to use a double weapon as a double weapon, you must wield it with two hands; can you attack with a nunchaku wielded with two hands as if it were a pair of weapons for TWF? Obviously not. Symmetrical design =/= double weapon.
Well, if you want to be the guy bringing silly things like facts and logical reasoning in here, that does make sense, but I'm fairly certain non-nun-chucks are to be held by the chain in the middle. I mean why would you grab the blade? That would just be silly.
EDIT: Alright, lemme give this a shot:
(Just imagine sword chucks with an angle in the blades)
Two-Handed Exotic Weapon
Scythe-chucks [Cost 65g; Damage: 2d4/2d4; Critical:19/20x4; Weight: 20 lbs.; Type: S; Disarm, Monk, Performance, Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]
Scythe-chuck Deadliness: The Scythe chuck is only wielded by those who throw not just caution to the wind, but all sense of self preservation. Any time someone using Scythe-chucks rolls a 1 on the reflex save forced by the self endangerment property, in place of a called shot or disarm on themselves, they threaten a critical hit, or perform a disarm attempt on themselves, the critical threat must be confirmed normally.
EDIT: Further edits.
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real men use Chainsaw nunchucks
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...
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... This thread makes me so happy.
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What do you suppose the damage and crit range on a chainsaw is? Because I want to do Chainsaw-chucks now. And I have no idea how I would adequately stat up keyblade chucks.
EDIT: Wild guess at chainsaw stats:
1d12 damage, 19/20x4, sunder? With something similar to fuel limiting the number of rounds it functions for? Maybe a Backfire chance?
Deadliness is a phenomenal property! So awesome!
How about Keyblade-chucks?
What do you suppose the damage and crit range on a chainsaw is? Because I want to do Chainsaw-chucks now. And I haveno idea how I would adequately stat up keyblade chucks.
... as boring as this sounds, I'd probably go with a dire flail plus slashing damage, and with the Self-Endangerment and Unpossible Wielding qualities. That would actually allow us to reverse engineer a keyblade, actually.
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... actually, yeah, that sounds kind of cool. :)
real men use Chainsaw nunchucks
Hahah! Now combine this with Unpossible Wielding for turning chainsawchucks into chainsaws!
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... I don't know where to start. :(
EDIT: Actually, that's a pretty decent base guess.
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But, I'm considering a different damage die. And possibly adding a note in Self Endangerment that requires a mostly superfluous attack roll, one that literally only exists so that the wielder has a chance to crit themselves.
Hm... this is a pretty decent, but I think that's what the Reflex save already does. It seems the superfluous attack roll is just another way of making that happen.
EDIT: Wild guess at chainsaw stats:
1d12 damage, 19/20x4, sunder? With something similar to fuel limiting the number of rounds it functions for? Maybe a Backfire chance?
Hm. RESEARCH MUST BE DONE!
But first... NYAN CAT BREAK WITH MY SON!
EDIT: Also, I need to make Staff Chucks at some point... <maybe "wand chucks"...?>
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Dotting out of sheer admiration and want.
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I'm butchering the writing of this little thing but the concept is just too silly not to put out here.
Crafted by an insane gnome who decided the craziest weapon to exist was by far not mad enough. Only the most devoted of X-chuck devotees would even dare touch such weapon for the risk they carry.
With blades made of flint, oil soaked rags for chain and hollow tubes full of gunpowder as handles this weapon is only for the truly deranged.Bomb chucks (or Powder bomb + X-chuck.
Alchemical weapon/ weapon modification
Bombchucks +200gp in addition to normal X-chuck costs. This weapon modification imparts the fragile quality. Breaking a Bombchuck causes it to explode immediately.
Bomb chucks deal damage as a normal melee X-chuck and follow all the normal rules for a melee X-chuck with the following rules.
A bomb chuck has a 25% chance of igniting each time it is used in combat, on igniting the thin steel wire that is actually holing the sword chucks is revealed as the oil cloth burns down.
Each Bomb chuck has a fuse that burns for 1d4 rounds before exploding and dealing 1d6 fire, 1d6 slashing and 1d6 piercing damage to all in a 10ft radius of the weapons. this damage occurs twice due to both of the bomb chucks exploding.
...
...
... This thread makes me so happy
Yeah. Yeah that's about right.
EDIT: Imma have to head to work soon, but images of Variant chucks will be dancing around in my head the whole time.
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GENTLEMEN!
What is more fearsome than the true might of an X-chuck weilder!
HA! Tis'a false question for THE MIGHT OF X-CHUCKS IS UNMATCHED
But there is one summit whos might has not been reached, for the true power of mankind rests in the weilder ofDRILLCHUCKS YO!
Two-Handed Exotic WeaponDrill-chucks [Cost 500g; Damage: 1d6/1d6; Critical:20x5; Weight: 30 lbs.; Type: P; Disarm, Monk, Performance, Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding] Drill-chuck Lunacy, Drill-chuck deadliness, PIERCE THE HEAVENS
PIERCE THE HEAVENS quality: Drill-chucks deal 1d6 normally and can be ignited with a thunderstone as a free action to spin tremendously fast, this lasts for 1d6 rounds of combat. This imparts 2d6 addtional points of damage from the violently spinning drills
Drill-Chuck Lunacy- When a drill-chuck is spinning it is one of the deadliest weapons on the planet, to its wielder. Anything someone wielding Spinning Drill chucks misses an attack it imparts a -2 check to reflex save on self endangerment checks. This penalty stacks with itself
However, when a spinning drillchuck strikes all attack damage in the round is added together and checked against the enemies DR once.Drill chuck deadliness: as scythe chuck deadliness, but for drills, Yo!
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Sorry for how long that took. We also took a Donkey Kong break, in addition to others. :D
Okay, so, with a dearth of other input, it seems like the damage dice will be increased, and (for the time being) option "2" otherwise seems like the best bet.
So... how do we arrive at option "2"?
First, let's look at the axechucks, then the axe itself.
Axe Chucks [Cost 80g; Damage: 1d8/1d8; Critical:19-20/x3; Weight: 15 lbs.; Type: S; Disarm, Monk, Performance, Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]
As our base, we took Battleaxe and the Nunchaku. Why nunchacku? Because that's the basis for nunchucks, which is where this gets it's name. :)
Battleaxe [Cost 10g; Damage: 1d8; Critical: x3; Weight: 6 lbs.; Type: S; -]
Nunchaku [Cost 2g; Damage: 1d6; Critical: x2; Weight: 2 lbs.; Type: B; Disarm, Monk]
So, in replacing the Nunchaku handles with axe heads (as is proper for all 'chuck weapons), the damage goes to 1d8 (axe head) and the critical to x3 (axe head). The weight is generated at a value of 2.5x the axe weight (similar to a double sword). The price is a bit arbitrary, but is based on the difference between a double-sword and a sword (longsword 15g; two-bladed sword 100g; extrapolation yeilds about a value increase of x6.666..., or, if you believe my calculator - which I don't because it rounds, the dirty cheater* - about 6.666666666666667). A slightly more accurate** measurement is double the longsword price (30g) x3.333...
So, then, doing that same thing with the axe nets us (20 x 3.333...) or about 66.67 gold. Hm... awkward. Also, it ignores the nunchaku! We can't do that! So, doing something similar with the nunchaku price included nets us instead (24 x 3.333...) 80g. Ah, there we go. That is nice and clean.
So, the template for accurately creating a 'chuck weapon price is [(double the non-chuck weapon price+4g) x 3.333...]? Cool! Let's try it!
Running something similar on a longsword nets us 113.333... but let's arbitrate a hair and round*** to 113.33, which, unfortunately, is still awkward. But I'm sticking to my guns! (Literally, later on.)
"But Tactics," you say, "... you said that Swordchucks cost 110g!"
Well, you're right. But I cheated and lied - I arbitrated that it cost that much based off of mental guesstimations***. Evil, I know.
However, given the rarity of such items, let's do something nice for everyone who isn't a Math (or Physics!) professor*** and simply arbitrate that it goes up to the next even value of "5" - or 115g in this case***.
Okay, so that's cost. What about weight?
Well, I'm glad you asked! It's pretty simple, actually: 2.5x the base weight. That's it. Voila!
After that, it gets easy: damage type is self-evident (the damage of the non-chuck weapon), critical threat range is automatically increased by 1 step (the actual critical value remains the same), it inherets (from the nunchaku) the Disarm and Monk special qualities, and it gains the Performance, Self-Endangerment, and Unpossible special qualities for being a 'chuck weapon.
But... we have a question of damage! Some desperately want higher damage! This makes some amount of sense for such a nonsensical (set of) weapon(s), actually, as - this can't be emphasized enough - these are incredibly dangerous, and, in fact, stupidly so. However, it's exceedingly difficult to justify the weapons in that case - there's very little to build off of, as a base... at least if we continue presuming that battleaxes and longswords are the base item. If, on the other hand, we go with dwarven waraxe and bastard sword instead of the battle axe and longsword, respectively, we have something to stand on.
So, may I present: waraxechucks, and bastardswordchucks!
... in the next post, 'cause, dudes, this one's messy enough.
* My math professors would be so proud.
** Depending on what you mean by "accurate".
***
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So... compilation time!
...
(Plus variant Axechucks and Swordchucks and Gunchucks.)
Two-Handed Exotic Weapon
- Axe Chucks [Cost 80g; Damage: 1d8/1d8; Critical:19-20/x3; Weight: 15 lbs.; Type: S; Disarm, Monk, Performance, Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]
- Waraxe Chucks [Cost 215g; Damage: 1d10/1d10; Critical:19-20/x3; Weight: 20 lbs.; Type: S; Disarm, Monk, Performance, Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]
Two-Handed Exotic Weapon
- Sword Chucks [Cost 115g; Damage: 1d8/1d8; Critical:18-20/x2; Weight: 10 lbs.; Type: S; Disarm, Monk, Performance, Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]
- Bastardsword Chucks [Cost 250g; Damage: 1d10/1d10; Critical:18-20/x2; Weight: 15 lbs.; Type: S; Disarm, Monk, Performance, Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]
Two-Handed Exotic Weapon
- Scythe Chucks [Cost 65g; Damage: 2d4/2d4; Critical:19-20/x4; Weight: 20 lbs.; Type: S; Disarm, Monk, Performance, Scythechuck Deadliness, Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]
Two-Handed Exotic Weapon
- Gun Chucks [Cost 15,000g; Damage: 1d8/1d8; Critical:19-20/x4; Range 20 ft. or melee, Misfire 1, Capacity 12 [6 per gun], Weight: 12 lbs.; Type: B and P (ranged) or B (melee); Disarm, Gunchuck Versatility, Monk, Performance, Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]
- Revolver-rifle Chucks [Cost 20,000g; Damage: 1d10/1d10; Critical:19-20/x4; Range 80 ft. or melee, Misfire 1, Capacity 12 [6 per gun], Weight: 30 lbs.; Type: B and P (ranged) or B (melee); Disarm, Gunchuck Versatility, Monk, Performance, Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]
Two-Handed Exotic Weapon
- Drill Chucks [Cost 500g; Damage: 1d6/1d6; Critical: x5; Weight: 30 lbs.; Type: P; Disarm, Drillchuck Deadliness, Drillchuck Lunacy, Monk, Performance, PIERCE THE HEAVENS, Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]
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Drill Chuck Lunacy: When a drill-chuck is spinning it is one of the deadliest weapons on the planet, to its wielder. Anything someone wielding Spinning Drill chucks misses an attack it imparts a -2 check to reflex save on self endangerment checks. This penalty stacks with itself
However, when a spinning drillchuck strikes all attack damage in the round is added together and checked against the enemies DR once.
Drill Chuck Deadliness: as Scythechuck Deadliness (see below), but for drills, Yo!
Gun Chuck Versatility: To those that use them, Gunchucks are usable as ranged weapons or melee weapons. When wielded as melee weapons, they function as nunchaku or (if specially structured to be able to do so) as a quarterstaff (changing between these is a swift action with the Blocking special ability) for all purposes, though they maintain the Self-Endangerment special quality; for gunchucks (or any type of firearm-based 'chuck weapon), the Self-Endangerment quality means the attack has a 50% chance to fire off at a random creature in range each round instead of just the wielder, so long as there are bullets remaining.
PIERCE THE HEAVENS: Drill-chucks deal 1d6 normally and can be ignited with a thunderstone as a free action to spin tremendously fast, this lasts for 1d6 rounds of combat. This imparts 2d6 addtional points of damage from the violently spinning drills
Scythe Chuck Deadliness: The scythe chuck is only wielded by those who throw not just caution to the wind, but all sense of self preservation. Any time someone using Scythe-chucks rolls a 1 on the reflex save forced by the self endangerment property, in place of a called shot or disarm on themselves, they threaten a critical hit, or perform a disarm attempt on themselves, the critical threat must be confirmed normally.
Self-Endangerment: Every round in which a creature wields this weapon, they must succeed against a DC 20 Reflex save upon the start of his turn. Failure results in the character striking himself with the full fury of a single swing as a swift action. If he rolls a natural 1, he must make a Disarm attempt against himself, causing him to either drop the weapon or badly hurt himself (50% chance of either; treat as a Called Shot to a random body part if he hurts himself). He may otherwise proceed to act normally for the remainder of the round. A character who is proficient with this weapon reduces the DC by 4. A character with Weapon Focus reduces the DC by 1. These reductions stack.
OPTIONAL VARIANT RULES: The Reflex DC may be reduced by multiple other methods as well. A masterwork variant of the weapon reduces the Reflex DC by 1. The Reflex DC is also reduced by an amount equal to the weapon's enhancement bonus. Greater Weapon Focus further reduces the DC by 1. Thus, a weapon with a +10 total bonus, in the hands of someone that has both weapon specialization and greater weapon specialization would only have a Reflex DC 4 to avoid harming themselves every round.
Unpossible Wielding: For the truly dedicated, a true master of martial arts and form, the Unpossible becomes necessary. If a wielder has Proficiency with Axechucks*, as well as Weapon Focus and Greater Weapon Focus, they may take Exotic Weapon Proficiency (axechucks) a second time. By taking Exotic Weapon Proficiency (Axechucks)* a second time, the wielder may now perform the necessarily Unpossible feat of wielding two sets of axechucks* simultaneously, making them akin to chainsaws**.
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This mysterious weapon was invented by a crazed hermit long ago who had a clear dislike for either himself or those around him. Though the secrets to replicating this weapon have long been lost, a rare few pieces still exist.
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Alchemical weapon modification
Crafted by an insane gnome who decided the craziest weapon to exist was by far not mad enough. Only the most devoted of X-chuck devotees would even dare touch such weapon for the risk they carry.
With blades made of flint, oil soaked rags for chain and hollow tubes full of gunpowder as handles this weapon is only for the truly deranged.
A 'chuck-weapon with the Bombchuck modification costs an additional +200gp in addition to normal 'chuck-weapon cost. This weapon modification imparts the fragile quality. Breaking a Bombchuck (any time it gains the broken condition) causes it to explode immediately.
Bomb chucks deal damage as a normal 'chuck-weapon and follow all the normal rules for a those weapons with the following changes.
A bomb chuck has a 25% chance of igniting each time it is used in combat; on igniting, the thin steel oilcloth wire actually threaded through the 'chuck-weapon is revealed, as it burns down.
Each Bombchuck has a fuse that burns for 1d4 rounds before exploding and dealing 1d6 fire, 1d6 slashing and 1d6 piercing damage to all in a 10ft radius of the weapons. this damage occurs twice due to both of the bomb chucks exploding.
* Or any 'chuck weapon.
** It doesn't matter that it's unpossible; that's the name of this quality, suckah!| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
Everything about this thread has made my day. Thank you so much for making the Armoire of Invincibility Tactics Lion. And thank you very much for making this thread Green Smashomancer. You brought the 'chuck weapons to life. Many smiles were had these last two days.
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O...M...F...G *shoots self in the knee with bow chucks* yo
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I thank you pruning my madness into an intelligible format so people can understand what I am intending to say rather than what I have written down.
Hey, we're cool: I am basically madness pruned down into an intelligible format (well, maybe not always comprehensible), so it's not too big a thing for me.
EDIT: And, fortunately, I (now) have all of it saved (with forum mark-ups written out) in a Word document, so I can edit and re-post easily enough. :D
O...M...F...G *shoots self in the knee with bow chucks* yo
Dang it, TMC! I was done! You here me?! DONE! But you just keep pulling me back in, don'tcha?! Aaaaarrrrrrghblblg!
Also,
Two????-Handed Exotic Weapon
Bow Chucks [Cost 515g; Damage: 1d6/1d6; Critical: 19-20/x4; Range 70 ft., Weight: 9 lbs.; Type: P; Disarm, Bowchuck Unpossibility, Monk Elf or Thief, Performance, Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]
Bow Chuck Unpossiblity: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah! Oh, man, good luck, suckers! HAH-hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!
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Arg! I forgot!
Sorry.
First of all, it's important to establish a baseline. Then we can get to the meat of this whole thing.
Two-Handed Exotic Weapon
- Chainsaw [Cost 350g; Damage: 1d12; Critical: x4; Misfire 1-2, Weight: 10 lbs.; Type: P and S; Activated, Chainsaw Sundering, Fuel-powered; Optional House-rule Qualities (Chainsaw)]
Activated: A Chainsaw is a strange device that must be activated before it can be properly wielded. Activating a Chainsaw is a standard action that provokes attacks of opportunity, but may be made as a full-round action that does not. If you are proficient in a Chainsaw, it is instead, a move action that provokes an attack of opportunity, or a standard action that does not. A Chainsaw may be deactivated as a swift action. A Chainsaw that is not properly activated (or is deactivated) is instead a fragile bludgeoning weapon; use a mere club's damage stats for determining damage with an Chainsaw that is not activated. If a Chainsaw has Misfired, it is unable to be activated until the saw is cleared and cleaned.
Chainsaw Sundering: A Chainsaw gains the Sundering special weapons quality, but only against parts of items taken from organic elements: leather, wood, and similar flesh- or plant-based craftsmanship. It can even target natural weapons or unarmed strikes. It can use this ability as a full-round action to gain an additional +4 bonus to the attempt. It also ignores any natural armor or flesh-based or plant-based hardness when doing so. Thus functions whether or not the organic source is alive.
Fuel-powered: A Chainsaw relies on fuel to get its job done, but it burns through such effects quickly. About 1 pint of special Fuel (a very rare, volatile alchemical concoction; see below) is required to run a Chainsaw for about 10 minutes of combat or heavy industrial use. Each use of a Chainsaw in this way counts as 1 minute of use. A Chainsaw not used for heavy industrial use or combat, can probably be activated much longer, subject to GM discretion.*
OPTIONAL HOUSE-RULE QUALITIES (CHAINSAW):
You may wish to apply either of the following house-rules to Chainsaws.
- Fathom the Wicked Cool: Fathom the Wicked Cool, plebeians! Bow before your master, the Chainsaw, baddest of all weapons! It's activated the instant it's in your hand, and it never suffers misfire. BECAUSE CHAINSAWS ARE TOO COOL FOR YOUR RULE, FOOL.
- Fueled By Awesome: A Chainsaw laughs at science! It needs no fuel, puny mortals! It will run forever, because that's awesome! This quality replaces Fuel-powered.
- Intricate Device: A Chainsaw, despite its power, a chainsaw is a (comparatively) delicate machine. It can be granted the Misfire and Broken condition by a simple Disable Device check (made as a move action). Destroying the Chainsaw with Disable Device, however, requires a full-round action that cannot be completed in combat.
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Fuel
Fuel is a rare, alchemical concoction that costs about 5 gold pieces per pint. It is utilized for various internal combustion devices. It can also be lit on fire, or, if stored in a gallon jug, be turned into a fire-bomb similar to alchemist fire, but with a larger radius (10 ft. radius, all adjacent squares to the radius are treated as "Splash Damage").
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Two-Handed Exotic Weapon
- Chainsaw Chucks [Cost 2,350g; Damage: 1d12/1d12; Critical: 19-20/x4; Misfire 1-2 (each side), Weight: 28 lbs.; Type: P and S; Activated, Chainsaw Stupidity, Chainsaw Sundering, Disarm, Fuel-powered, Monk, Performance, Unpossible Wielding; Optional House-rule Qualities (Chainsaw)]
Chainsaw Stupidity: You... you know this isn't going to work out well, right? Right? I mean... look, it's a Chainsaw. IT'S GOING TO GO WRONG. That's... part of the trope. Anyway, this works like the Self-Endangerment special quality, save that the DC is 2 points higher (22 instead of 2) and, in addition to a Called Shot, it automatically threatens a critical hit against you (though it must be confirmed as normal). If the Chainsaw makes a successful critical hit against you, it also makes a Chainsaw Sunder attempt against whatever part of the body was targeted with a Called Shot. You may not have Proficiency with Chainsawchucks unless you have proficiency with Chainsaws.
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So... I think that's everything...?
EDIT: I have to say, it's marvelous that this is post number 42 of this thread...
EDIT 2:
* Look I did research on this, okay? Strenuous, infallible research! NO ONE CAN CHANGE THIS! (Unless you guys have better sources, in which case, please go ahead.)
EDIT 3:
EDIT: Also, I need to make Staff Chucks at some point... <maybe "wand chucks"...?>
So no, me, that isn't "everything".
For the basics: staff-chucks function as nunchaku with a 19-20/x2 crit range and have the usual suite of 'chuck-weapon special qualities. They also have the following special quality. It's not formalized because I'm editing it into this post with only 45 minutes left to go, and I'm not confident in my writing/thinking speed. It's formalized! See below!
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Two-Handed Exotic Weapon
- Staff Chucks [Cost 6g+the cost of the two staffs used; Damage: 1d6/1d6; Critical: 19-20/x2; Weight: 6 lbs.; Type: B; Disarm, Mage, Monk, Moronic Magical Instability, Performance, Unpossible Wielding]
Two-Handed Exotic Weapon
- Wand Chucks [Cost 6g+the cost of the two wands used; Damage: 1d4/1d4; Critical: 19-20/x2; Weight: 6 lbs.; Type: B; Disarm, Fragile, Mage, Monk, Moronic Magical Instability, Performance, Unpossible Wielding]
Mage: You cannot have proficiency with this weapon unless you have the ability to cast spells, utilize spell-like abilities, or have ranks in UMD; monks may ignore this quality, if it is a Monk weapon.
Moronic Magical Instability: Each round, while wielded, in addition to the normal Reflex save, a wielder must make a DC 20 Will save, Concentration check, or Use Magic Device check, or else have a 1d10 magical effects the staff is capable of producing activate simultaneously on random targets within the range (including the wielder). These effects have a 5% chance per enhancement bonus of the Staffchucks (if any) to have 1d10 metamagic feats applied (roll d%, each feat has a 2-or-3% chance; a roll of 97% or higher indicates a rod of wonder effect or a primal magic event occurs [50% chance each]). Each spell effect activated this way uses up charges normally; the number of charges (and thus spell effects) used can exceed the number of charges a staff has remaining in a given round, however, after a staff has been depleted, it cannot be used in future rounds until recharged as normal. You unstable magical moron.
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EDIT 3:
So... I think that's everything...?
I now think that this is correct. For now.
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Gotdang, Tacticskitty, you went to town here! I'm gonna get to work on Bow-Chuck unpossibility.
EDIT: Here's attempt #1:
Infathomably Bad Idea: A Madman Character can take weapon proficiency with the Bow-Chuck twice as with all members of the 'Chuck family, however, in addition to the ability to fire each bow separately, the target takes 1d4 int or, wis damage (chosen randomly) at the start of each turn the 'Chucker targets them while Two-weapon Fighting with Bow-Chucks. But only if they are not proficient with a 'Chuck family weapon, as they would be entirely unable to properly cope with what they witness. However, if the wielder rolls a 1 at any point in their series of attacks, every creature in a 30 ft cone starting at either back corner of the users square is threatened by damage, and the wielder must make an attack roll against each of them, dealing damage as normal.
Now I wonder how many arrows a Bow-chuck wielder could actually fire. It's basically TWF with bows I believe.
:)
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CHAINSAW CHUCK NORRISES!!!
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Also, I'm working on a little treat for later. Needs to finish stirring in the brain-pot first.
EDIT: I believe bows have a critical multiplier lower than x4, do they not? We don't want these things getting too silly now do we?
Gotdang, Tacticskitty, you went to town here! I'm gonna get to work on Bow-Chuck unpossibility.
I do what I can.
EDIT: Here's attempt #1:
Infathomably Bad Idea: A
MadmanCharacter can take weapon proficiency with the Bow-Chuck twice as with all members of the 'Chuck family, however, in addition to the ability to fire each bow separately, the target takes 1d4 int or, wis damage (chosen randomly) at the start of each turn the 'Chucker targets them while Two-weapon Fighting with Bow-Chucks. But only if they are not proficient with a 'Chuck family weapon, as they would be entirely unable to properly cope with what they witness. However, if the wielder rolls a 1 at any point in their series of attacks, every creature in a 30 ft cone starting at either back corner of the users square is threatened by damage, and the wielder must make an attack roll against each of them, dealing damage as normal.Now I wonder how many arrows a Bow-chuck wielder could actually fire. It's basically TWF with bows I believe.
So... basically what I wrote only with more words. :D
(Actually, it's a really great terrible idea! Hilarious and appropriate, too! Probably doesn't affect creatures suffering from madness already.)
Also, I'm working on a little treat for later. Needs to finish stirring in the brain-pot first.
Niiiiiiiiiiiice!
EDIT: I believe bows have a critical multiplier lower than x4, do they not? We don't want these things getting too silly now do we?
Arg! I missed that in editing. Yeah, they have a x3 - that's entirely my mistake due to copy/paste error. I'll fix it in my document.
CHAINSAW CHUCK NORRISES!!!
... two martial artist monks stuck together via a chain and sovereign glue wielding chainsaws? EDIT: naturally, they have more than two fists. Also, they would be wielded with body bludgeon rage power, or equivalent.
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Alright, I'm not done, but I can't hold it in anymore, I feel like a puppy whose owner just got home.
Aura Strong Chaos; CL 25th; Slot none; weight varies
Omni-chucks are +5 vorpal 'Chuck weapons, said to be the incomplete project that finally drove the Hermit Lord of the ‘Chuck into full-blown madness, before he inevitably did himself in with his untrustworthy creations, he began work on this unpossible blight in the face of all that is lawful and Union approved. At the start of each round, any who wield the Omni-chucks, may shape them into the form of any weapon in the ‘chuck family as a free action. However, the Omni-chucks were never completed, and as such require proficiency in the chosen form to wield “effectively” rather than possessing their own proficiency.
The Thing That Was Better Off Not Being:Lacking a form of their own, the Omni-chucks have no default shape, and any such attempt to force them into this shape deals 1d6 stat damage to all creatures that can see or hear the attempt within 60 ft. The stat damaged is chosen once each attempt, and rolled to identify on the following table: Str; 1, Dex; 2, Con; 3, Int; 4, Wis; 5, Cha; 6. The omni-chucks then revert to their previous shape; this process is a full-round action. The wielder may make a DC 35 Will save to halve the damage, but no-one else can.
Whenever the Omni-Chucks threaten a critical hit, on either the wielder or others, with a roll of 20, the vorpal property can slay the target whether or not the targeted creature has a head, or if it is currently making a ranged attack.
What do you think? Too much?
EDIT: I'm thinking of changing the option of choosing the form taken to a randomly chosen one from a table at the start of each round, and changing The Thing ability to summon proteans instead of random stat drain.
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This is quite nice. I can just imagine an idiot PC trying to use them and cutting his/her nipples off by accident.
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Chainsaw chucks: +8 moral bonus vs fear caused by undead.