Axe-Chucks, yo!


Homebrew and House Rules

51 to 100 of 121 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | next > last >>

2 people marked this as a favorite.

... it's beautiful.


3 people marked this as a favorite.

Next up, an attempt to blend reach weapons and hammers (and to see if I have this generation system down), a simple spear chuck would just be a sword-chuck with a handle, and a hammer wouldn't be dangerous enough on its own. So:

Hammer-Chucks*, Yo!
Two-Handed Exotic Weapon

  • Hammer-Chucks* [Cost 70g; damage 1d12/1d12; critical 19/20 x2; range 5 or 10 feet; weight 20 lbs; type Bludgeoning, and piercing; brace, disarm, Monk, performance, danger to society, unpossible wielding]

    Danger to society: Those who wield hammers on chains endanger not just their foes, but all they hold dear as well. This ability functions as the Self endangerment property, but upon failing the forced reflex save, if the wielder was using the Hammer-chucks* as a reach weapon (the grip may be adjusted as a swift action to switch between reach and 5ft each round) they strike their closest "ally" instead.

    *I use stats from the Lucerne hammer for damage, critical and pricing, but "Lucerne-Chucks" sounds too... classy.


  • 2 people marked this as a favorite.

    I had this brainworm and just had to share, I highly doubt it would survive a single round of combat though what with needing to make multiple DC 22 reflex saves each round to avoid self harm.

    Orc born Marilith:
    Orc born madness Marilith CR 18
    XP 102,400
    CE Large outsider (chaotic, demon, evil, extraplanar)
    Init +4;
    Senses darkvision 60 ft., trueseeing; Perception +31
    Aura unholy aura (DC 25)

    DEFENSE
    AC 32, touch 17, flat-footed 28 (+4 deflection, +4 Dex, +15 natural, –1 size)
    hp 264 (16d10+176)
    Fort +25, Ref +18, Will +13
    DR 10/cold iron and good; Immune electricity and poison; Resist acid 10, cold 10, fire 10; SR 28

    OFFENSE
    Speed 40 ft.
    Melee +1 Large CSC yo! +25/+20/+15/+10 (2d10+12/17–20 X4 Misfire 1-2)*, 5 +1 large CSC +24 (2d10+8/17–20x4 Misfire 1-2)*, tail slap +17 (2d6+3 plus grab) or 6 slams +22 (1d8+7), tail slap +17 (2d6+3 plus grab)
    Space 10 ft.; Reach 10 ft.
    Special Attacks constrict (tail slap, 2d6+10), infuse weapon, multiweapon mastery
    Spell-Like Abilities (CL 16th)
    Constant—true seeing, unholy aura (DC 25)
    At will—greater teleport (self plus 50 lbs. of objects only), project image (DC 24), telekinesis (DC 22)
    3/day—blade barrier (DC 23), fly
    1/day—summon (level 5, 1 marilith 20%, 1 nalfeshnee at 35%, or 1d4 hezrous at 60%)

    STATISTICS
    Str 25, Dex 19, Con 32, Int 18, Wis 18, Cha 25
    Base Atk +16; CMB +24 (+28 grapple); CMD 42 (can't be tripped)
    Feats Exotic weapon proficency: unpossible chainsaw-chucks YO!, , Exotic weapon proficiency: Chainsaw-Chuck YO!(CSC), Exotic weapon proficency: Chainsaw, Critical Focus, Improved Critical (CSC), Weapon specialization (CSC), Power Attack, Weapon Focus (CSC)Greater weapon focus (CSC), Greater weapon specialization (CSC)
    Skills Acrobatics +23, Bluff +26, Diplomacy +26, Fly +18, Intimidate +26, Knowledge (engineering) +20, Perception +31, Sense Motive +23, Stealth +19, Use Magic Device +26; Racial Modifiers +8 Perception
    Languages Abyssal, Celestial, Draconic; telepathy 100 ft.

    SPECIAL ABILITIES
    Orc born Mastery (Ex)

    Rather than using its natural weapon the Orc born Marilith gains further proficency with weapons.
    Orc born Mariliths gain 3 bonus feats and are considered fighters equal to their hit dice when qualifying for feats.
    An orc born Marilith can activate up to 16 chainsaws as a single standard action with telekinesis.

    Infuse Weapon (Su)

    Any weapon a marilith wields gains a +1 enhancement bonus to attack and damage, and strikes as if it were a chaotic and evil cold iron weapon (in addition to retaining the qualities of its actual composition).

    Multiweapon Mastery (Ex)

    A marilith never takes penalties to her attack roll when fighting with multiple weapons.

    *

    collected chainsaw chuck rules:

    Chainsaw Chucks [Cost 2,350g; Damage: 1d12/1d12; Critical: 19-20/x4; Misfire 1-2 (each side), Weight: 28 lbs.; Type: P and S; Activated, Chainsaw Stupidity, Chainsaw Sundering, Disarm, Fuel-powered, Monk, Performance, Unpossible Wielding; Optional House-rule Qualities (Chainsaw)]

    Chainsaw Stupidity: You... you know this isn't going to work out well, right? Right? I mean... look, it's a Chainsaw. IT'S GOING TO GO WRONG. That's... part of the trope. Anyway, this works like the Self-Endangerment special quality, save that the DC is 2 points higher (22 instead of 2) and, in addition to a Called Shot, it automatically threatens a critical hit against you (though it must be confirmed as normal). If the Chainsaw makes a successful critical hit against you, it also makes a Chainsaw Sunder attempt against whatever part of the body was targeted with a Called Shot. You may not have Proficiency with Chainsawchucks unless you have proficiency with Chainsaws.

    Activated: A Chainsaw is a strange device that must be activated before it can be properly wielded. Activating a Chainsaw is a standard action that provokes attacks of opportunity, but may be made as a full-round action that does not. If you are proficient in a Chainsaw, it is instead, a move action that provokes an attack of opportunity, or a standard action that does not. A Chainsaw may be deactivated as a swift action. A Chainsaw that is not properly activated (or is deactivated) is instead a fragile bludgeoning weapon; use a mere club's damage stats for determining damage with an Chainsaw that is not activated. If a Chainsaw has Misfired, it is unable to be activated until the saw is cleared and cleaned.

    Chainsaw Sundering: A Chainsaw gains the Sundering special weapons quality, but only against parts of items taken from organic elements: leather, wood, and similar flesh- or plant-based craftsmanship. It can even target natural weapons or unarmed strikes. It can use this ability as a full-round action to gain an additional +4 bonus to the attempt. It also ignores any natural armor or flesh-based or plant-based hardness when doing so. Thus functions whether or not the organic source is alive.

    Fuel-powered: A Chainsaw relies on fuel to get its job done, but it burns through such effects quickly. About 1 pint of special Fuel (a very rare, volatile alchemical concoction; see below) is required to run a Chainsaw for about 10 minutes of combat or heavy industrial use. Each use of a Chainsaw in this way counts as 1 minute of use. A Chainsaw not used for heavy industrial use or combat, can probably be activated much longer, subject to GM discretion.*


    7 people marked this as a favorite.

    Madness?! This. Is. AW-SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME!

    *kicks less-awesome threads down a really deep, random hole; wait, why do we even have these holes?*

    Second page, and thus, Compilation Time (tm)!
    (beware, this is 10 pages in Word; spoiler for convenience; EDITs made to original entries)

    Do the Unpossible, See the Unvisible...

    Chainsaw:
    Two-Handed Exotic Weapon

    • Chainsaw [Cost 350g; Damage: 1d12; Critical: x4; Misfire 1-2, Weight: 10 lbs.; Type: P and S; Activated, Chainsaw Sundering, Fuel-powered; Optional House-rule Qualities (Chainsaw)]

    Activated: A Chainsaw is a strange device that must be activated before it can be properly wielded. Activating a Chainsaw is a standard action that provokes attacks of opportunity, but may be made as a full-round action that does not. If you are proficient in a Chainsaw, it is instead, a move action that provokes an attack of opportunity, or a standard action that does not. A Chainsaw may be deactivated as a swift action. A Chainsaw that is not properly activated (or is deactivated) is instead a fragile bludgeoning weapon; use a mere club's damage stats for determining damage with an Chainsaw that is not activated. If a Chainsaw has Misfired, it is unable to be activated until the saw is cleared and cleaned.

    Chainsaw Sundering: A Chainsaw gains the Sundering special weapons quality, but only against parts of items taken from organic elements: leather, wood, and similar flesh- or plant-based craftsmanship. It can even target natural weapons or unarmed strikes. It can use this ability as a full-round action to gain an additional +4 bonus to the attempt. It also ignores any natural armor or flesh-based or plant-based hardness when doing so. Thus functions whether or not the organic source is alive.

    Fuel-powered: A Chainsaw relies on fuel to get its job done, but it burns through such effects quickly. About 1 pint of special Fuel (a very rare, volatile alchemical concoction; see below) is required to run a Chainsaw for about 10 minutes of combat or heavy industrial use. Each use of a Chainsaw in this way counts as 1 minute of use. A Chainsaw not used for heavy industrial use or combat, can probably be activated much longer, subject to GM discretion.

    OPTIONAL HOUSE-RULE QUALITIES (CHAINSAW):
    You may wish to apply either of the following house-rules to Chainsaws.


    • Fathom the Wicked Cool: Fathom the Wicked Cool, plebeians! Bow before your master, the Chainsaw, baddest of all weapons! It's activated the instant it's in your hand, and it never suffers misfire. BECAUSE CHAINSAWS ARE TOO COOL FOR YOUR RULE, FOOL.

    • Fear-no-Deadite: The deadites will never keep you down, so long as you've got your trusty Chainsaw. While wielding your Chainsaw, you gain a +8 morale bonus against fear effects (including intimidate or other skills) created by Undead or similar creatures (such as Flesh Golems or Dhampirs).

    • Fueled By Awesome: A Chainsaw laughs at science! It needs no fuel, puny mortals! It will run forever, because that's awesome! This quality replaces Fuel-powered.

    • Intricate Device: A Chainsaw, despite its power, a chainsaw is a (comparatively) delicate machine. It can be granted the Misfire and Broken condition by a simple Disable Device check (made as a move action). Destroying the Chainsaw with Disable Device, however, requires a full-round action that cannot be completed in combat.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------

    Fuel:
    Fuel
    Fuel is a rare, alchemical concoction that costs about 5 gold pieces per pint. It is utilized for various internal combustion devices. It can also be lit on fire, or, if stored in a gallon jug, be turned into a fire-bomb similar to alchemist fire, but with a larger radius (10 ft. radius, all adjacent squares to the radius are treated as "Splash Damage").

    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    Axechucks wrote:
    This mysterious weapon was invented by a crazed hermit long ago who had a clear dislike for either himself or those around him. Though the secrets to replicating this weapon have long been lost, a rare few pieces still exist.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------

    ' chucks, Yo!:

    Axechucks, Yo!
    Two-Handed Exotic Weapon

    • Axe Chucks [Cost 80g; Damage: 1d8/1d8; Critical:19-20/x3; Weight: 15 lbs.; Type: S; Disarm, Monk, Performance, Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]

    • Waraxe Chucks [Cost 215g; Damage: 1d10/1d10; Critical:19-20/x3; Weight: 20 lbs.; Type: S; Disarm, Monk, Performance, Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]

    Swordchucks, Yo!
    Two-Handed Exotic Weapon


    • Sword Chucks [Cost 115g; Damage: 1d8/1d8; Critical:18-20/x2; Weight: 10 lbs.; Type: S; Disarm, Monk, Performance, Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]

    • Bastardsword Chucks [Cost 250g; Damage: 1d10/1d10; Critical:18-20/x2; Weight: 15 lbs.; Type: S; Disarm, Monk, Performance, Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]

    Scythechucks, Yo!
    Two-Handed Exotic Weapon


    • Scythe Chucks [Cost 65g; Damage: 2d4/2d4; Critical:19-20/x4; Weight: 20 lbs.; Type: S; Disarm, Monk, Performance, Scythechuck Deadliness, Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]

    Hammerchucks*, Yo!
    Two-Handed Exotic Weapon


    • Hammer Chucks [Cost 70g; Damage: 1d12/1d12; Critical: 19-20/x2; Weight: 30 lbs.; Type: B and P; Danger To Society, Disarm, Monk, Performance, Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Bracing, Unpossible Wielding, Variable Reach]
      Although the stats from the Lucerne Hammer were used for damage, critical, and pricing; the "Lucernechucks" sounds too... classy.

    Bowchucks, Yo!
    Two????-Handed Exotic Weapon


    • Bow Chucks [Cost 515g; Damage: 1d6/1d6; Critical: 19-20/x3; Range 70 ft., Weight: 9 lbs.; Type: P; Disarm, Bowchuck Unpossibility, Monk Elf or Thief, Infathomably Bad Idea, Performance, Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]

    Gunchucks, Yo!
    Two-Handed Exotic Weapon


    • Gun Chucks [Cost 15,000g; Damage: 1d8/1d8; Critical:19-20/x4; Range 20 ft. or melee, Misfire 1, Capacity 12 [6 per gun], Weight: 12 lbs.; Type: B and P (ranged) or B (melee); Disarm, Gunchuck Versatility, Monk, Performance, Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]

    • Revolver-rifle Chucks [Cost 20,000g; Damage: 1d10/1d10; Critical:19-20/x4; Range 80 ft. or melee, Misfire 1, Capacity 12 [6 per gun], Weight: 30 lbs.; Type: B and P (ranged) or B (melee); Disarm, Gunchuck Versatility, Monk, Performance, Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]

    Drillchucks, Yo!
    Two-Handed Exotic Weapon


    • Drill Chucks [Cost 500g; Damage: 1d6/1d6; Critical: x5; Weight: 30 lbs.; Type: P; Disarm, Drillchuck Deadliness, Drillchuck Lunacy, Monk, Performance, PIERCE THE HEAVENS, Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]

    Chainsawchucks, Yo!
    Two-Handed Exotic Weapon


    • Chainsaw Chucks [Cost 2,350g; Damage: 1d12/1d12; Critical: 19-20/x4; Misfire 1-2 (each side), Weight: 28 lbs.; Type: P and S; Activated, Chainsaw Stupidity, Chainsaw Sundering, Disarm, Fuel-powered, Monk, Performance, Unpossible Wielding; Optional House-rule Qualities (Chainsaw)]

    Staffchucks, Yo!
    Two-Handed Exotic Weapon


    • Staff Chucks [Cost 6g+the cost of the two staffs used; Damage: 1d6/1d6; Critical: 19-20/x2; Weight: 6 lbs.; Type: B; Disarm, Mage, Monk, Moronic Magical Instability, Performance, Unpossible Wielding]

    Wandchucks, Yo!
    Two-Handed Exotic Weapon


    • Wand Chucks [Cost 6g+the cost of the two wands used; Damage: 1d6/1d6; Critical: 19-20/x2; Weight: 6 lbs.; Type: B; Disarm, Fragile, Mage, Monk, Moronic Magical Instability, Performance, Unpossible Wielding]

    --------------------------------------------------------------------

    List of Weapon Properties:

    Bow Chuck Unpossibility: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah! Oh, man, good luck, suckers! HAH-hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!

    Chainsaw Stupidity: You... you know this isn't going to work out well, right? Right? I mean... look, it's a Chainsaw. IT'S GOING TO GO WRONG. That's... part of the trope. Anyway, this works like the Self-Endangerment special quality, save that the DC is 2 points higher (22 instead of 2) and, in addition to a Called Shot, it automatically threatens a critical hit against you (though it must be confirmed as normal). If the Chainsaw makes a successful critical hit against you, it also makes a Chainsaw Sunder attempt against whatever part of the body was targeted with a Called Shot. You may not have Proficiency with Chainsawchucks unless you have proficiency with Chainsaws.

    Danger to Society: Those who wield hammers on chains endanger not just their foes, but all they hold dear as well. This ability functions as the Self endangerment property, but upon failing the forced reflex save, if the wielder was using the Hammerchucks as a reach weapon (see Variable Reach, below) they strike their closest "ally" instead, if any is present.

    Drill Chuck Lunacy: When a drill-chuck is spinning it is one of the deadliest weapons on the planet, to its wielder. Anything someone wielding Spinning Drill chucks misses an attack it imparts a -2 check to reflex save on self endangerment checks. This penalty stacks with itself
    However, when a spinning drillchuck strikes all attack damage in the round is added together and checked against the enemies DR once.

    Drill Chuck Deadliness: as Scythechuck Deadliness (see below), but for drills, Yo!

    Gun Chuck Versatility: To those that use them, Gunchucks are usable as ranged weapons or melee weapons. When wielded as melee weapons, they function as nunchaku or (if specially structured to be able to do so) as a quarterstaff (changing between these is a swift action with the Blocking special ability) for all purposes, though they maintain the Self-Endangerment special quality; for gunchucks (or any type of firearm-based 'chuck weapon), the Self-Endangerment quality means the attack has a 50% chance to fire off at a random creature in range each round instead of just the wielder, so long as there are bullets remaining.

    Infathomably Bad Idea: A madman character can take weapon proficiency with the bowchuck twice, as with all members of the 'chuck family, however, in addition to the ability to fire each bow separately, the target may take ability damage. If the target is proficient with a 'chuck family weapon, they are entirely unable to properly cope with what they witness. A target without proficiency in one of the 'chuck family of weapons takes 1d4 INT or WIS damage (chosen randomly, 50% each) at the start of each turn the bowchucker targets them while Two-Weapon Fighting with bowchucks. If the wielder rolls a natural 1 at any point in their series of attacks, every creature within a 30 ft. cone starting at either back corner of the wielder's square (thus including the wielder) is threatened by damage, and the wielder must make an attack roll against each of them, dealing damage (and possibly ability damage) as normal.

    Mage: You cannot have proficiency with this weapon unless you have the ability to cast spells, utilize spell-like abilities, or have ranks in UMD; monks may ignore this quality, if it is a Monk weapon.

    Moronic Magical Instability: Each round, while wielded, in addition to the normal Reflex save, a wielder must make a DC 20 Will save, Concentration check, or Use Magic Device check, or else have a 1d10 magical effects the staff is capable of producing activate simultaneously on random targets within the range (including the wielder). These effects have a 5% chance per enhancement bonus of the Staffchucks (if any) to have 1d10 metamagic feats applied (roll d%, each feat has a 2-or-3% chance; a roll of 97% or higher indicates a rod of wonder effect or a primal magic event occurs [50% chance each]). Each spell effect activated this way uses up charges normally; the number of charges (and thus spell effects) used can exceed the number of charges a staff has remaining in a given round, however, after a staff has been depleted, it cannot be used in future rounds until recharged as normal. You unstable magical moron.

    PIERCE THE HEAVENS: Drillchucks deal 1d6 normally and can be ignited with a thunderstone as a free action to spin tremendously fast, this lasts for 1d6 rounds of combat. This imparts 2d6 addtional points of damage from the violently spinning drills

    Scythe Chuck Deadliness: The scythe chuck is only wielded by those who throw not just caution to the wind, but all sense of self preservation. Any time someone using Scythe-chucks rolls a 1 on the reflex save forced by the self endangerment property, in place of a called shot or disarm on themselves, they threaten a critical hit, or perform a disarm attempt on themselves, the critical threat must be confirmed normally.

    Self-Endangerment: Every round in which a creature wields this weapon, they must succeed against a DC 20 Reflex save upon the start of his turn. Failure results in the character striking himself with the full fury of a single swing as a swift action. If he rolls a natural 1, he must make a Disarm attempt against himself, causing him to either drop the weapon or badly hurt himself (50% chance of either; treat as a Called Shot to a random body part if he hurts himself). He may otherwise proceed to act normally for the remainder of the round. A character who is proficient with this weapon reduces the DC by 4. A character with Weapon Focus reduces the DC by 1. These reductions stack.
    OPTIONAL VARIANT RULES: The Reflex DC may be reduced by multiple other methods as well. A masterwork variant of the weapon reduces the Reflex DC by 1. The Reflex DC is also reduced by an amount equal to the weapon's enhancement bonus. Greater Weapon Focus further reduces the DC by 1. Thus, a weapon with a +10 total bonus, in the hands of someone that has both weapon specialization and greater weapon specialization would only have a Reflex DC 4 to avoid harming themselves every round.

    Unpossible Bracing: This weapon can be used as if it has the Brace special quality**. Yes, I really mean it**.

    Unpossible Wielding: For the truly dedicated, a true master of martial arts and form, the Unpossible becomes necessary. If a wielder has Proficiency with Axechucks*, as well as Weapon Focus and Greater Weapon Focus, they may take Exotic Weapon Proficiency (axechucks) a second time. By taking Exotic Weapon Proficiency (Axechucks)* a second time, the wielder may now perform the necessarily Unpossible feat of wielding two sets of axechucks* simultaneously, making them akin to chainsaws**.

    Variable Reach: Each round, once per round, your grip may be adjusted as a swift action to switch between the weapon acting as a Reach weapon, or a normal melee weapon (allowing you to target the space adjacent to you).

    * Or any 'chuck weapon.
    ** It doesn't matter that it's unpossible; that's the name of this quality, suckah!

    --------------------------------------------------------------------

    Bombchucks:
    Bombchucks, Yo!
    Alchemical weapon modification
    Row, Row Light tha'powdah
    Bombchucks wrote:

    Crafted by an insane gnome who decided the craziest weapon to exist was by far not mad enough. Only the most devoted of X-chuck devotees would even dare touch such weapon for the risk they carry.

    With blades made of flint, oil soaked rags for chain and hollow tubes full of gunpowder as handles this weapon is only for the truly deranged.

    A 'chuck-weapon with the Bombchuck modification costs an additional +200gp in addition to normal 'chuck-weapon cost. This weapon modification imparts the fragile quality. Breaking a Bombchuck (any time it gains the broken condition) causes it to explode immediately.

    Bomb chucks deal damage as a normal 'chuck-weapon and follow all the normal rules for a those weapons with the following changes.

    A bomb chuck has a 25% chance of igniting each time it is used in combat; on igniting, the thin steel oilcloth wire actually threaded through the 'chuck-weapon is revealed, as it burns down.

    Each Bombchuck has a fuse that burns for 1d4 rounds before exploding and dealing 1d6 fire, 1d6 slashing and 1d6 piercing damage to all in a 10ft radius of the weapons. this damage occurs twice due to both of the bomb chucks exploding.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------

    Omnichucks, Yo!:
    Omni-Chucks, Yo! wrote:

    BEHOLD

    Omni-Chucks, Yo!
    Aura strong chaos; CL 25th Slot none; Weight varies; Price minor artifact

    The Omnichucks are +5 Doom of All 'chuck weapons, said to be the incomplete project that finally drove the Hermit Lord of the ‘Chuck into full-blown madness and ultimately destroyed himself. Before he inevitably did himself in with his untrustworthy creations, he began work on this unpossible blight in the face of all that is lawful and Union or Axis approved. At the start of each round, any who wield the Omnichucks, may shape them into the form of any weapon in the ‘chuck family as a free action. Alternatively, the form is chosen randomly at the start of each round. Regardless, however, the Omni-chucks were never completed, and as such require proficiency in the chosen form to wield “effectively” rather than granting proficiency with themselves.

    The Thing That Was Better Off Not Being: Lacking a form of their own, the Omni-chucks have no default shape, and any such attempt to force them into this shape deals 1d6 stat damage to all creatures that can see or hear the attempt within 60 ft. The stat damaged is chosen once each attempt, and rolled to identify on the following table: Str; 1, Dex; 2, Con; 3, Int; 4, Wis; 5, Cha; 6. The omni-chucks then revert to their previous shape; this process is a full-round action. The wielder may make a DC 35 Will save to halve the damage, but no-one else can. Either that, or it summons a Protean. I 'unno, man. I 'unno.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    Magic Weapon Special Quality

    Doom of All
    Price +7 bonus
    Aura strong necromancy; CL 25th; Weight -
    --------------------
    DESCRIPTION
    --------------------
    This weapon functions identically to a weapon with the Vorpal property, save that it can be applied to any weapon (not just bludgeoning or slashing) and, when the Vorpal property would come into affect (upon a roll of natural 20, followed by a successful roll to confirm the critical hit) this weapon can slay the target whether or not the targeted creature has a head or the weapon is currently being used to make a ranged attack.

    This ability can only be placed on a weapon that also has a significant chance of harming its wielder (such as a weapon with the Self-harm special quality).
    --------------------
    CONSTRUCTION REQUIREMENTS
    --------------------
    Craft Magic Arms and Armor, circle of death , keen edge, weird, Cost +7 bonus

    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    I cast Fist, aka Chuck Norris:

    Chainsaw Chuck Norrises!
    Two-Handed Exotic Weapon

    • Chainsaw Chuck Norrises [Cost 4,170 g plus twice the cost of NPC gear for the level of the Chuck Norrises (this is actually used for the two Chuck Norrises, see below); Damage: Special (see below); Critical: Special (see below); Weight: 350 lbs. (on average); Type: Special (see below); Disarm, Flurry of Norris, Monk, Performance, Rage (Body Bludgeon), Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]

    Flurry of Norris: Each of the Chuck Norrises are, themselves, wielding a Chainsaw. Although not normally a Monk weapon, these Chuck Norrises are specially trained in the art of wielding Chainsaws, and can thus use them as Monk weapons when the Flurry. In addition to your normal attacks with the Body Bludgeon effect (see below), the Chuck Norrises utilize their flurry of blows special ability to attack with their Chainsaws every round against a single opponent that you designate and have attacked. One flurry occurs before your Body Bludgeon attack, the other after. You can designate each of the Norris' flurry attacks with a Chainsaw against a different creature in a given round, so long as you attack more than one creature - they do not both have to attack the same creature. If the target dies before you can utilize your Body Bludgeon, you do not have to take that action, although any flurry utilized to kill the creature is still used up, as normal.

    Rage (Body Bludgeon): The Chainsaw Chuck Norrises are only able to be wielded by a creature currently under the Rage Power Body Bludgeon, or with a similar ability or effect. Without access to this power or similar effect, it is impossible to become proficient in Chainsaw Chuck Norrises. Also, they would totally round-house you, and, really, nobody wants that. The Chainsaw Chuck Norrises are usually medium creatures, and thus have the stats presented below when used as a weapon, though the damage dice decreases to 1d8 if they are small and increases to 1d10 if they are lager; other sizes may be available, but they're exceedingly rare cases, and likely the result of memetic mutation. Additionally, see Flurry of Norris above. This special ability allows you to wield the Chainsaw Chuck Norrises regardless of your size.


      Two-Handed Improvised Weapon
    • Chuck Norrischucks [Cost included above; Damage: 1d10; Critical: x2; Weight: See Above; Type: B; Chuck Norris]
    • Chuck Norris: A Chuck Norris is a Monk with the Martial Artist archetype, a beard (that hides only another fist instead of a chin), and the Dazzling Display (Roundhouse Kick), Skill Focus (intimidate), Skill Focus (perform [act]), and Weapon Focus (Unarmed Strike [Roundhouse Kick]) feats; each Chuck Norris has these feats, regardless of level, although they are not (necessarily) bonus feats, and use up feat slots as they become available. A given Chuck Norris' level is 1d20, with a 30 point buy for stats, +4 racial ability scores to all abilities (regardless of race), the Advanced template (using the rebuild rules), maximum ranks in Intimidate and Perform (Act) (among its other skills), and Regeneration (Ex) special ability (this ability has no value and cannot be shut off; Chuck Norris simply cannot die and will always get better). A Chuck Norris otherwise has treasure equal to an NPC of its level. No, you cannot take Chuck Norris' stuff. Any attempt may temporarily succeed, but he will get you, round-house kick you into submission, take his stuff back (probably taking your stuff too, but, of course, giving it away to charity), and then leave, possibly blowing you away with a bazooka, depending on how badly you ticked him off. It doesn't matter if you think he's dead: he's not. It doesn't matter if bazookas don't exist: he can get one. Anyway, when part of a Body Bludgeon (or similar effect) due to being part of Chainsaw Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris exclusively attacks with the Chainsaw (See Flurry of Norris, above), which they are always equipped with (via sovereign glue), disappointing as that may be to those seeking to see him Round-house kick anyone. A Chuck Norris that is freed immediately leaves all cool and awesome like to embark on a career as an actor and internet meme; no, it doesn't matter that there is no internet - Chuck Norris always finds a way.

    Quote:
    Originally crafted by taking two martial artist monks stuck together via a chain and sovereign glue who are, themselves, glued to one Chainsaw each, this is truly the weapon of a mad genius, but only one usable by those who, themselves, are in a carefully controlled state of madness - a rage - with very specific training, or having a similar ability. It also looks ridiculously goofy... and yet somehow, ridiculously cool.

    Chainsawchuck Norrises, Yo!

    Two-Handed Exotic Weapon

    • Chainsaw Chuck Norrises [Cost 4,170 g plus twice the cost of NPC gear for the level of the Chuck Norrises (this is actually used for the two Chuck Norrises, see below); Damage: Special (see below); Critical: Special (see below); Weight: 350 lbs. (on average); Type: Special (see below); Disarm, Unpossible Flurry of Norris, Monk, Performance, Rage (Body Bludgeon), Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]

      Ludicrously Unpossible Flurry of Norris: Each of the Chuck Norrises are, themselves, wielding a Chainsaw Chucks; unlike normal Chuck Norrises, these Chuck Norrises are proficient with Chainsaw Chucks, and have both weapon focus and weapon focus (greater) for Chainsaw Chucks. Their Chainsaws, while wielded by them, Fathom the Wicked Cool and Fueled By Awesome special qualities, lacking the Activated, Fuel-Powered or Intricate Device qualities and the misfire chance. Although not normally a Monk weapon, these Chuck Norrises are specially trained in the art of wielding Chainsaw Chucks, and can thus use them as Monk weapons when the Flurry. In addition to your normal attacks with the Body Bludgeon effect (see above). This otherwise functions similarly to the Flurry of Norris ability. Wow that is an insane amount of attacks in a round. And yes, the Chuck Norrises can stack Two-Weapon Fighting and flurry of blows.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------

    Orc-born Marilith:

    Orc born madness Marilith; CR 18
    XP 102,400
    CE Large outsider (chaotic, demon, evil, extraplanar)
    Init +4; Senses darkvision 60 ft., trueseeing; Perception +31
    Aura unholy aura (DC 25)
    --------------------
    DEFENSE
    --------------------
    AC 32, touch 17, flat-footed 28 (+4 deflection, +4 Dex, +15 natural, –1 size)
    hp 264 (16d10+176)
    Fort +25, Ref +18, Will +13
    DR 10/cold iron and good; Immune electricity and poison; Resist acid 10, cold 10, fire 10; SR 28
    --------------------
    OFFENSE
    --------------------
    Speed 40 ft.
    Melee +1 Large CSC yo! +25/+20/+15/+10 (2d10+12/17–20 X4 Misfire 1-2)*, 5 +1 large CSC +24 (2d10+8/17–20x4 Misfire 1-2)*, tail slap +17 (2d6+3 plus grab) or 6 slams +22 (1d8+7), tail slap +17 (2d6+3 plus grab)
    Space 10 ft.; Reach 10 ft.
    Special Attacks constrict (tail slap, 2d6+10), infuse weapon, multiweapon mastery
    Spell-Like Abilities (CL 16th)
    Constant—true seeing, unholy aura (DC 25)
    At will—greater teleport (self plus 50 lbs. of objects only), project image (DC 24), telekinesis (DC 22)
    3/day—blade barrier (DC 23), fly
    1/day—summon (level 5, 1 marilith 20%, 1 nalfeshnee at 35%, or 1d4 hezrous at 60%)
    --------------------
    STATISTICS
    --------------------
    Str 25, Dex 19, Con 32, Int 18, Wis 18, Cha 25
    Base Atk +16; CMB +24 (+28 grapple); CMD 42 (can't be tripped)
    Feats Exotic weapon proficiency: unpossible chainsaw-chucks YO!, , Exotic weapon proficiency: Chainsaw-Chuck YO!(CSC), Exotic weapon proficiency: Chainsaw, Critical Focus, Improved Critical (CSC), Weapon specialization (CSC), Power Attack, Weapon Focus (CSC)Greater weapon focus (CSC), Greater weapon specialization (CSC)
    Skills Acrobatics +23, Bluff +26, Diplomacy +26, Fly +18, Intimidate +26, Knowledge (engineering) +20, Perception +31, Sense Motive +23, Stealth +19, Use Magic Device +26; Racial Modifiers +8 Perception
    Languages Abyssal, Celestial, Draconic; telepathy 100 ft.
    --------------------
    SPECIAL ABILITIES
    --------------------
    Orc born Mastery (Ex)
    Rather than using its natural weapon the Orc born Marilith gains further proficiency with weapons. Orc born Mariliths gain 3 bonus feats and are considered fighters equal to their hit dice when qualifying for feats. An orc born Marilith can activate up to 16 chainsaws as a single standard action with telekinesis.

    Infuse Weapon (Su)
    Any weapon a marilith wields gains a +1 enhancement bonus to attack and damage, and strikes as if it were a chaotic and evil cold iron weapon (in addition to retaining the qualities of its actual composition).

    Multiweapon Mastery (Ex)
    A marilith never takes penalties to her attack roll when fighting with multiple weapons.

    Collected Chainsaw Chuck Rules:

    Chainsawchucks, Yo!
    Two-Handed Exotic Weapon

    • Chainsaw Chucks [Cost 2,350g; Damage: 1d12/1d12; Critical: 19-20/x4; Misfire 1-2 (each side), Weight: 28 lbs.; Type: P and S; Activated, Chainsaw Stupidity, Chainsaw Sundering, Disarm, Fuel-powered, Monk, Performance, Unpossible Wielding; Optional House-rule Qualities (Chainsaw)]

    Activated: A Chainsaw is a strange device that must be activated before it can be properly wielded. Activating a Chainsaw is a standard action that provokes attacks of opportunity, but may be made as a full-round action that does not. If you are proficient in a Chainsaw, it is instead, a move action that provokes an attack of opportunity, or a standard action that does not. A Chainsaw may be deactivated as a swift action. A Chainsaw that is not properly activated (or is deactivated) is instead a fragile bludgeoning weapon; use a mere club's damage stats for determining damage with an Chainsaw that is not activated. If a Chainsaw has Misfired, it is unable to be activated until the saw is cleared and cleaned.

    Chainsaw Stupidity: You... you know this isn't going to work out well, right? Right? I mean... look, it's a Chainsaw. IT'S GOING TO GO WRONG. That's... part of the trope. Anyway, this works like the Self-Endangerment special quality, save that the DC is 2 points higher (22 instead of 2) and, in addition to a Called Shot, it automatically threatens a critical hit against you (though it must be confirmed as normal). If the Chainsaw makes a successful critical hit against you, it also makes a Chainsaw Sunder attempt against whatever part of the body was targeted with a Called Shot. You may not have Proficiency with Chainsawchucks unless you have proficiency with Chainsaws.

    Chainsaw Sundering: A Chainsaw gains the Sundering special weapons quality, but only against parts of items taken from organic elements: leather, wood, and similar flesh- or plant-based craftsmanship. It can even target natural weapons or unarmed strikes. It can use this ability as a full-round action to gain an additional +4 bonus to the attempt. It also ignores any natural armor or flesh-based or plant-based hardness when doing so. Thus functions whether or not the organic source is alive.

    Fuel-powered: A Chainsaw relies on fuel to get its job done, but it burns through such effects quickly. About 1 pint of special Fuel (a very rare, volatile alchemical concoction; see below) is required to run a Chainsaw for about 10 minutes of combat or heavy industrial use. Each use of a Chainsaw in this way counts as 1 minute of use. A Chainsaw not used for heavy industrial use or combat, can probably be activated much longer, subject to GM discretion.

    OPTIONAL HOUSE-RULE QUALITIES (CHAINSAW):
    You may wish to apply either of the following house-rules to Chainsaws.


    • Fathom the Wicked Cool: Fathom the Wicked Cool, plebeians! Bow before your master, the Chainsaw, baddest of all weapons! It's activated the instant it's in your hand, and it never suffers misfire. BECAUSE CHAINSAWS ARE TOO COOL FOR YOUR RULE, FOOL.

    • Fear-no-Deadite: The deadites will never keep you down, so long as you've got your trusty Chainsaw. While wielding your Chainsaw, you gain a +8 morale bonus against fear effects (including intimidate or other skills) created by Undead or similar creatures (such as Flesh Golems or Dhampirs).

    • Fueled By Awesome: A Chainsaw laughs at science! It needs no fuel, puny mortals! It will run forever, because that's awesome! This quality replaces Fuel-powered.

    • Intricate Device: A Chainsaw, despite its power, a chainsaw is a (comparatively) delicate machine. It can be granted the Misfire and Broken condition by a simple Disable Device check (made as a move action). Destroying the Chainsaw with Disable Device, however, requires a full-round action that cannot be completed in combat.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------

    Fuel
    Fuel is a rare, alchemical concoction that costs about 5 gold pieces per pint. It is utilized for various internal combustion devices. It can also be lit on fire, or, if stored in a gallon jug, be turned into a fire-bomb similar to alchemist fire, but with a larger radius (10 ft. radius, all adjacent squares to the radius are treated as "Splash Damage").
    --------------------------------------------------------------------


    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    Armoire of Invincibility:
    The Armoire of Invincibility wrote:

    Armoire of Invincibility

    Aura overwhelming various; CL 30th Weight 2,400 lbs.; Price minor artifact (effectively 1,371,300 gp)

    The Armoire of Invincibility has all of the following statistics as an item: hardness 70, hp 280, break DC 68, reacts to fire like steel (despite being made of Darkwood).

    The Armoire of Invincibility has all of the following statistics as an item, and grants them to the bearer: DR 10/(magical [bludgeoning or slashing] adamantine), resist (acid, cold, electricity, fire, sonic) 35.

    When it is equipped (a move action to open the doors and climb in) it otherwise functions as both a +2 stone plate with armored kilt and a +5 tower shield (providing a +12 armor bonus to AC and a +9 shield bonus to AC; for a total of +21 to AC; due to confined space, you are only permitted a +1 DEX bonus to your AC while it is equipped), though it's impossible to move while it's equipped; alternatively it grants total cover when closed (a move action) or cover if you hide behind it (instead of its normal benefits).

    It also has the Cheap Construction and Varnish of Invincibility qualities.

    Cheap Construction: The armoire is entirely invincible... except, of course, for the fact that it was constructed with cheap particle board on the bottom. If it's ever used as a weapon or dropped on anyone, they can make a DC 20 Reflex save to avoid taking any damage, as the particle board is the part that lands on them. In that case, they end up inside the armoire. Particle board has the same hardness as paper or cloth.

    Varnish of Invincibility: If an item treated by the Varnish absorbs all the damage dealt by a weapon or other item (the hardness or damage reduction negating any hit point damage), the weapon or item must make a Fortitude saving throw or take 3d6 points of damage.

    The Armoire of Invincibility is an ancient, massive armoire (well, it's pretty average for an armoire, really) that was treated with the the Varnish of Invincibility (and thus tastes like said Varnish - a fact that few know). It sat in Matoya's cave for many years, gathering dust, until - due to miscommunication - she gave it away to a young Fighter who sought the Armor of Invincibility. It was nice to have it out of her cave, and he seemed happy (though he later put it in a hypercube to avoid having to carry it everywhere).


    1 person marked this as a favorite.

    Obligatory: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/InstantChucks?from=Main.Swordchu cks


    1 person marked this as a favorite.

    Ah, Doom of All is a much better description of what I was going for, my thanks for a well organized list. Omni-chucks may also summon a protean? Unbound to the will of the wielder I'd hope?


    1 person marked this as a favorite.

    I had thought about adding in Forearm chucks for the proper terrible punning. But the chuck norris chucks beat me to the punch on that one.
    Huh, mariliths are large creatures, so reasonably a cloud giant barbarian could glue two of my orc born mariliths togethor and make marilith chainsaw chuck flail chucks.


    1 person marked this as a favorite.
    williamoak wrote:
    This is quite nice. I can just imagine an idiot PC trying to use them and cutting his/her nipples off by accident.

    No, nipple decapitation is a CritFail of beaver chucks.


    Fetchystick wrote:
    Obligatory: link

    :D

    Green Smashomancer wrote:
    Ah, Doom of All is a much better description of what I was going for, my thanks for a well organized list.

    You're welcome! As I said: Word Document. I can just copy/paste whenever I need. :)

    Green Smashomancer wrote:
    Omni-chucks may also summon a protean? Unbound to the will of the wielder I'd hope?

    I dunno - you wrote it:

    Green Smashomancer wrote:
    EDIT: I'm thinking of changing the option of choosing the form taken to a randomly chosen one from a table at the start of each round, and changing The Thing ability to summon proteans instead of random stat drain.

    ? :D

    I'm... not statting out separate marilith chainsaw chuck flail chucks.

    (Though that would be epic: Orcborn Marilith Chainsawchuck Norrises. That's gotta be a major artifact. The question, of course, is how a Marilith would round-house kick evil in the face and whether or not s/he would round-house kick her/himself in the face for being evil - which, given the nature of the 'chuck family of weapons, and their wielders, I wouldn't be too surprised, actually.)

    Also, also... *mutter, mutter, dang-it, now I've gotta do beaver-chucks, which means statting out beavers...*
    EDIT: though, seriously, someone feel free to do that for me. :D


    1 person marked this as a favorite.

    Ah, I was thinking either stat drain/Or protean summon, but a 30% (?) chance of summoning one of these guys would fit the nature of a 'chuck perfectly. Or a Voidworm. Who knows!

    Apparently Platypi have stats already but not beavers. This is also the only time I think I will ever have "Protean" and "Beaver" both on my search history right next to each other. Such is the Path of the 'Chuck.

    EDIT: spelling issue


    1 person marked this as a favorite.

    I would almost say that weasels are handy stand ins for beavers in the case of beaver chucks.


    3 people marked this as a favorite.

    Well, it would be an injustice, an INJUSTICE I SAY, if we left shotguns out of our "list of things not meant to be chained together." as such:

    Shotgun-chucks, Yo!
    Two-handed Exotic weapon
    Shotgun Chucks [Cost 20,000g; damage 1d8/1d8; critical 19-20/x2; range 20 ft cone, or melee; misfire 1-2; capacity 4 [2 per gun]; weight 30 lbs; type B and P (ranged), or B (melee); Disarm, Gunchuck Versatility, Monk, Performance, Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]

    EDIT: used the double-barrel shotgun for stats, naturally.


    2 people marked this as a favorite.

    But... shouldn't they be titled "Boomstick Chucks"?
    (Awesome, by the way.)

    EDIT: sigh, Auto-correct


    2 people marked this as a favorite.

    Boomstick-Chucks, it is.


    1 person marked this as a favorite.
    Tacticslion wrote:

    ...

    ...

    ... This thread makes me so happy.

    :D

    Silver Crusade

    1 person marked this as a favorite.

    This makes me think of the Vigoorian Flail from Ninja Gaiden. Warning: lots of video game blood in that link!


    3 people marked this as a favorite.

    Been 1 day too long since I added something here.

    Shield-Chucks, Yo!
    Two-handed Exotic weapon (given stats are for heavy wooden shield, would like to see tower variant)
    Shield-Chucks [cost 90g; damage 1d6/1d6; critical 19/20x2; weight 20 lbs; type B; Disarm, Monk, Performance, Self-Endangerment, The Best Defense, Unpossible wielding]

    The Best Defense: The "wise" 'chuck wielder knows that the best defense is beating people to death with your defenses. While wielding and proficient in Shield-chucks, a creature retains their Shield bonus to AC, but the armor check penalty applies to the reflex save forced by the Self-Endangerment quality.

    EDIT: Now I just have to think of the Vigoorian flail gameplay when I think of sword/axe/chainsaw-chuck useage.


    1 person marked this as a favorite.

    Hm... trying to think of something involving the pun "Harmor" as in (harm)+(armor), but I've too many ideas to narrow it down to anything comprehensible. Does it have to do with spiked armors, either chained together or on a stick to batter others with? Armor made out of hammers? Who knows? (Not me. At least not yet.)


    1 person marked this as a favorite.

    Harmor-chucks?

    Harmour-chucks, for the Europeans out there?

    Pal-drons, for helpfully weaponized shoulder armor?


    2 people marked this as a favorite.

    I... need to create entire societies devoted to the way of the 'chuck, now.

    ... actually, especially given my rules for how to create a Chuck Norris, I suddenly have a place where Chuck Norrises come from, and why they might become part of the weapons...

    ... why does it make so much sense... too... much... sense... nonsensical... whimsy... reality... shredding... ftnag!


    3 people marked this as a favorite.

    What about fractal chucks? Say, each striking end has at the end of it two smaller chucks... and each of those has two even smaller chucks... and at the end of those...

    What about a giant who in each hand wielded two halflings chained together at the ankles... monk-chucks? And what if each monk-chuck also wielded a pair of chucks?


    1 person marked this as a favorite.
    Pillbug Toenibbler wrote:

    What about fractal chucks? Say, each striking end has at the end of it two smaller chucks... and each of those has two even smaller chucks... and at the end of those...

    Stahp, you'll break Tacticslion. He's already quoting Lovecraft as is.


    4 people marked this as a favorite.

    Nah, I'm good. I just have to have some... time.

    Hee-hee.


    2 people marked this as a favorite.

    Yo-yo-Chucks, yo!

    Owww! My eye!


    3 people marked this as a favorite.

    Chainsaw three section staff.


    1 person marked this as a favorite.

    Here, have a fractal bear its about half way down the page.

    Also for the mannimal fractal.
    T rex given humanoid form with the anthro aninal spell. Two sets of hippopotamus attached by chains who are also given arms. Each of those well armed hippos weild double chained chuck norris chucks who are weilding rabid badgers who also have arms. Those badgers are weilding angry cats. The cats are cats and cannot be trusted to use anything but theur own claws. Fortunately there are a hell of a lot of them.
    1 t rex bite, 4 hippo bites 16 chuck norris beard fists 64 rabid biting badgers and 248 squalling Cats in a screaming storm of horrible feline death.
    There one fantasy zoo made as an army killer.


    Fractal bears! They're just givin' 'em away!


    3 people marked this as a favorite.

    At the risk of delving into "too silly" territory I have a promise to keep...

    Fruit-chucks, Yo!
    Fruit-chucks [cost 1sp; damage 1d3/1d4-1; critical 20x0.9; weight 2lbs; type b; Citrus Ctrike, Disarm, Monk, Performance, Physician Repellant Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]

    This simple rope has an apple and an orange tied to each end. A crazed hermit once claimed that this represented the duality of nature and the soul. He also smelled of alcohol.

    Citrus Ctrike: Upon rolling a natural 20, and confirming the critical hit, the orange end of the Fruit-chuck explodes into a stingy, sticky mess. All within a 5 ft radius of this explosion must make a reflex save of 15 or be blinded by the juices for 1d4+1 rounds. After this is done once, the Fruit-chucks gain the broken condition and only the Apple end may be used until the orange is repaired. If a critical hit was struck with the apple end first the fruit-chuck is destroyed.

    Physician Repellent: Any time the Apple end of the Fruit-chuck is used to strike a creature with ranks in the heal skill, treat the attack as a Challenge from a cavalier of equal level to the 'chuck wielder. Upon a successful critical hit with the apple end, the end is shattered and the fruit-chuck gains the broken condition, with only the orange end being usable. If both ends are broken, the fruit-chuck is destroyed.


    Mythic Tacticslion wrote:

    Nah, I'm good. I just have to have some... time.

    Hee-hee.

    The twin limits imposed by Life and Time shan't keep me down forever!

    (Still puzzling things out in my "really odd brain" kind of way. Also, always running out of time.)


    1 person marked this as a favorite.

    Now you just need to get this into a guide on Google Docs and get it on the Guide to the Guides thread. I can see it now...

    The Pathfinder Guide to 'Chucks, Yo!


    3 people marked this as a favorite.

    I don't really have anything to add, I just wanted to say that whoever added the Armoire of Invincibility to the thread (I missed where it came in exactly) has all of my love. ALL OF IT! IF THEY WANT IT OR NOT!

    8 Bit Theatre rules! and to quote Fighter:

    "Swordchucks, yo!"


    Thanks! :D


    3 people marked this as a favorite.

    (So what if I've delayed this.)

    (Yes, I'm late.)

    (I heard you, Conscience/OCD, MOVING ON.)

    Ahem.

    So, the Way of the Chuck.

    Before we begin, allow me to say that this is built on a combination of the internet meme/running joke about Chuck Norris combined with the ludicrous silliness that is developed here in this thread. I am not intending, by word or deed, to, in any way, impugn his honor, intelligence, or dignity, but rather to build on the cultural/silly humor that has grown/revolved around the various characters he's played in his acting career and the style of "manliness" they represent. Also, I enjoyed the heck out of most of his films. Except for that one, but I don't think it was a bad idea, so much as it just wasn't as awesome as I hoped it would be, which isn't really his fault. Peace and God bless you, Mr. Norris, and I do hope that you can enjoy this, too, should you happen across this thread in the impossible realms of the internet. :D

    Also, it's very likely that this will be expounded upon later. This is all that I have for now, however.

    Way of the Chuck
    There is a Way. A True Way. That Way is the way of the Way-Awesome. It is the Way - that is to say - the Way - the Way of the Chuck.

    In every field of study or refinement, in every skill, in every education, there are various students, disciplines, styles, and ideal forms or concepts that vary from culture to culture and from master to master. Martial Arts is no exception.

    There exists a few select, a small but ever-growing cadre, loyal to an art form generally considered entirely impossible by most who study martial arts, and absolutely ludicrously stupid by all who study martial arts - all, that is, except those few who dare to be different, dare to dream, dare to face that which is unknown, and dare to be stupid. In short, those who follow the Way of the Chuck.

    Many consider the followers of the Way of the Chuck mind-numbingly insane, inane, ignorant, or some combination thereof (or just really dumb). However, the followers and disciples of the Way of the Chuck, they know that all those who consider it impossible are themselves the ignorant ones; they along with their faces and their mammas and their mamma's faces, the last of which are all so fat, yo.

    The followers of the Way of the Chuck (they often refer to it as "the Way'") are, in fact, a very peculiar lot. Drawn from every mortal race (and a few immortal ones) there is no one particular type that follows the Way', though those races without facial hair often find they lack the sheer manliness of awesome required.

    To even be considered, a hopeful must first have demonstrated that they have participated in two different full-length action plays over the course of two years. Once they have shown proof of this (usually by reciting some lines and doing some kicks) they are considered for the potential to undergo a trial period - if they are allowed to undergo the trial period, they are branded with "WAY '72" - a brand that is crossed with another brand if they fail their trial.

    Upon completing the grueling three-year trial period in which the hopeful trainee is given the rudimentary basics of acting, those who are accepted are branded with the arcane sigil "MGM 74-77" - an arcane set of sigils that none know the true meaning of -, have at least maximimum ranks in Perform (act), and they officially begin their training as a follower of the Way of the Chuck: if they succeed, they become a Chuck Norris, their old name erased (never to be recalled) as they accept their new one.

    Their next period of training takes another year, after which they receive the brand "WRECK '69" with a deeply mysterious and unknown meaning, and ascend to the status of the Chuck Norris.

    In becoming a Chuck Norris, a follower is trained to have maximum ranks in Intimidate and Perform (act) - replacing any ranks of other skills they may have -, and grow a beard (that hides only another fist instead of a chin); all of his current levels are replaced by levels of Monk with the Martial Artist and Sohei archetypes (where one archetype relies on a feature the other would lose, the Chuck Norris instead keeps that feature). The new Chuck Norris also gain the feats Dazzling Display (Roundhouse Kick), Skill Focus (intimidate), Skill Focus (perform [act]), and Weapon Focus (Unarmed Strike [Roundhouse Kick]). All Chuck Norrises have these feats, regardless of his level, although they are not (necessarily) bonus feats, and use up feat slots as they become available. A Chuck Norris also undergoes a severe shift in mental and physical health, gaining ability scores as if with a 30 point-buy and +4 racial ability scores to all abilities (regardless of race), the Advanced template (using the rebuild rules). Further, a Chuck Norris gains Regeneration (Ex) special ability (this ability has no particular value and cannot be shut off; Chuck Norris simply cannot die and will always get better). Finally, a Chuck Norris gains the mastery that all Chuck Norrises crave: the mastery of 'chucks. A Chuck Norris can choose a number of 'chuck types equal to 1 + (1/2 his level) - that Chuck Norris not only gains proficiency, but also treats the weapons as if they were monk weapons. A Chuck Norris gains no other special bonus with these weapons - they must seek wisdom and reduction of the danger of self-harm individually. They are also not issued any sort of a 'chuck weapon - they must find it themselves.

    A Chuck Norris otherwise has treasure equal to an NPC of his level.
    None can take Chuck Norris' stuff. Any attempt may temporarily succeed, but he will get the thief, round-house kick him into submission, take his stuff back (probably taking the thief's stuff too, but, of course, giving it away to charity), and then leave, possibly blowing the thief away with a bazooka, depending on how badly the thief ticked Chuck Norris off. It doesn't matter if the thief thinks he's dead: he's not. It doesn't matter if bazookas don't exist: he can get one.

    In any group, there are a few who are elite. So, too, is this, even in the august ranks of the Chuck Norris.

    A few dedicate themselves to particular style of 'chuck - the most famous of which is the Chainsaw Chuck - and to teamwork to an extreme degree. So devoted are these Chuck Norrises that they voluntarily take a vow and bind themselves through sovereign glue to a chain, themselves becoming a 'chuck weapon. Each generally wields the non-chuck version of the 'chuck weapon they chose (again, usually a chainsaw), instead becoming that end of the 'chuck weapon for whoever, in turn, wields them. This is considered one of the highest honors and arts of the Chuck Norris - it is also considered one of the greatest sacrifices for the sake of the 'chuck.

    When part of a Body Bludgeon (or similar effect) due to being part of 'chuck Norris, each Chuck Norris exclusively attacks with their weapon (usually the Chainsaw; see Flurry of Norris, in the Chainsaw Chuck description), which they are always equipped with (via sovereign glue), disappointing as that may be to those seeking to see him Round-house kick anyone. A Chuck Norris that is freed immediately leaves all cool and awesome like to embark on a career as an actor and internet meme; no, it doesn't matter that there is no internet - Chuck Norris always finds a way.

    A few exceptionally devoted (and, some say, crazed or sacred or both) actually each wield a 'chuck version, of their weapon, in addition to being a 'chuck weapon. This is considered the highest of the high, the most sacred, and the most dangerous of all Chuck Norrises. Such self-sacrificial Chuck Norrises are honored forever (or at least as long as they remain part of a 'chuck and/or wield a 'chuck).

    A Chuck Norris that has become a 'chuck no longer needs to eat, breath, or sleep - they recover as if they had a full night's rest once each 24 hours on command. They never suffer damage unless Sundered or Wielded (see Body Bludgeon). They are truly the ascended.


    1 person marked this as a favorite.

    Ahem.

    A minor correction.

    The section below,

    Quote:
    Many consider the followers of the Way of the Chuck mind-numbingly insane, inane, ignorant, or some combination thereof (or just really dumb). However, the followers and disciples of the Way of the Chuck, they know that all those who consider it impossible are themselves the ignorant ones; they along with their faces and their mammas and their mamma's faces, the last of which are all so fat, yo.

    ... should instead have read,

    Quote:
    Many consider the followers of the Way of the Chuck mind-numbingly insane, inane, ignorant, or some combination thereof (or just really dumb). However, the followers and disciples of the Way of the Chuck, they know that all those who consider it impossible are themselves the ignorant ones; they along with their faces and their mammas and their mamma's faces, the last of which are all so fat, yo: the weapons 'chuck are not impossible, they are unpossible. Duh.

    The editors apologize for the failure to properly transcribe the original text. They have been... disciplined.

    EDIT: By hanging.*-ten.
    EDIT 2: * Oh, my, that looks terrible. It was supposed to say "By hanging ten".
    EDIT 3: Though that's misleading. They were "hanging ten"... bags in the grocery closet.
    EDIT 4: That was singular, not plural. There was only one editor.


    1 person marked this as a favorite.

    Just sticking my head in real quick: over on the AaWBlog we're doing Maddening May, and somebody brought up "sword chucks" in the planning phase discussions and I couldn't help myself.

    Cool thread! :D


    2 people marked this as a favorite.

    Feel free to use the stats presented here for chucks of any kind!


    1 person marked this as a favorite.

    And also please bring a broom. I believe Smashomancer may have broken
    Tacticslion with this thread.


    2 people marked this as a favorite.
    Movin wrote:

    And also please bring a broom. I believe Smashomancer may have broken

    Tacticslion with this thread.

    BROOM-CHUCKS!


    Fetchystick wrote:
    Movin wrote:

    And also please bring a broom. I believe Smashomancer may have broken

    Tacticslion with this thread.
    BROOM-CHUCKS!

    ...

    ...

    ... dang it.

    :)


    2 people marked this as a favorite.

    ...

    ...

    ...

    I present...

    Beaver

    The body and broad, flat tail of this creature are covered with dense, brown fur. It has webbed feet and a large, rubbery snout making it appear somewhat akin to a duck. It emits a low growl when disturbed.

    Beaver, CR 1/6
    XP 65
    N Tiny animal
    Init +2; Senses low-light vision, scent; Perception +5 (+9 underwater)
    ----------------
    DEFENSE
    ----------------
    AC 14, touch 14, flat-footed 12 (+2 Dex, +2 size)
    hp 3 (1d8–1)
    Fort +1, Ref +4, Will
    ----------------
    OFFENSE
    ----------------
    Speed 10 ft., swim 40 ft.
    Melee bite +4 (1d3–4; 18-20/x3)
    Space 2-1/2 ft.; Reach 0 ft.
    Special Attacks nipple-vorpal, tremendous critical
    ----------------
    STATISTICS
    ----------------
    Str 3, Dex 14, Con 8, Int 2, Wis 13, Cha 11
    Base Atk +0; CMB +0; CMD 6 (10 vs. trip)
    Feats Weapon Finesse
    Skills Climb +6, Craft (woodworking) +4, Perception +5 (+9 underwater), Swim +6; Racial Modifiers +4 Climb, +4 Swim, +4 Perception while underwater, +8 Craft checks
    SQ semiaquatic, suggestive name
    ----------------
    SPECIAL ABILITIES
    ----------------
    Nipple-Vorpal (Ex)

    Whenever a Beaver threatens a critical hit with its bite attack, a GM may roll for a called shot to determine a random body part. If the critical is confirmed and such a body part is available, a small non-essential (but extremely painful) piece of the target creature (such as a nipple) is severed similarly to heads with the vorpal special quality. This deals an additional 2d6 damage on a successful critical, whether or not there is such a body part. This effect does work with Tremendous Critical, unlike the normal Vorpal quality.

    Semiaquatic (Ex)

    Beavers can hold their breath underwater for up to 5 minutes before they must start attempting Constitution checks to avoid suffocation.

    Suggestive Name (Ex)

    Look, no, I don't know why it's suggestive. It's just become that way. Now it never stops looking wrong when you're using them, and you get really weird Google search results if you're not careful.

    Tremendous Critical (Ex)

    A beaver is exceptionally likely to make critical hits with its bite attack, and those critical hits are exceptionally likely to hurt. A lot.


    1 person marked this as a favorite.

    OPTIONAL HOUSE-RULE QUALITIES (Boom-stick):
    You may wish to apply either of the following house-rules to Boom-sticks.

    • Ammo of Awesome: A Boom-stick laughs at science! It needs no ammo, puny mortals! It will fire forever with a simple "ka-chuk" reloading gesture as a move action, because that's awesome! This quality also eliminates the misfire chance.

    • Attention-Getter: As a full round action, you may utter a pithy, clever, angry, or similarly short quip or statement and fire single blast into the air. This immediately causes all humanoids within hearing distance that have line of sight to you to cease any riot or other similar group activity they were in at the time, including preparing to attack you en masse (or lots of people individually); if a GM wants, perhaps they get a will save equal to your Intimidate DC or something - in any event, they're affected as if both by a calm emotions effect (negating any bonuses they had previously received) and then by a fascinate effect for the next 1d2 minutes. This also grants you a +8 bonus to your bluff, diplomacy, and intimidate checks against all of the affected creatures while the fascinate effect is in play.

  • Fear-no-Deadite: The deadites will never keep you down, so long as you've got your trusty Boom-stick. While wielding your Boom-stick, you gain a +8 morale bonus against fear effects (including intimidate or other skills) created by Undead or similar creatures (such as Flesh Golems or Dhampirs).


  • 3 people marked this as a favorite.

    ...
    ...
    ...
    ... yo-yos (and 'chucks)

    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    Light Exotic Weapon


    • Yo-yo [Cost 5s; Damage: 1d6; Critical: x2; Misfire 1-2, Weight: 1/2 lb.; Type: B; Critical Flaw, Sudden Bounce-back Reach, Swift Tricks, Tricky Toy]

    Critical Flaw: Yo-yos have the ability to misfire (similar to a gun), but also may misfire any time it successfully confirms a critical hit. When a yo-yo misfires, a bearer may attempt a DC 20 Reflex save or Perform (yo-yo) check to negate the misfire. When a yo-yo has misfired, in addition to the normal penalties for misfire (see Firearms rules), a yo-yo becomes a reach weapon, and is thus useless for melee combat against adjacent foes.

    Sudden Bounce-back Reach: No one expects the yo-yo! When you utilize a yo-yo as a weapon, you may choose to treat the weapon as if it had reach for all purposes, but upon the completion of your attack, it returns to your hand, no longer being vulnerable to sunder. If you are not proficient with a yo-yo, you may not bring the yo-yo back to you automatically - it requires a move action. If you misfire, winding the yo-yo instead becomes a full-round action, and, until it is wound, it is treated as if it had the reach property for all purposes - you may not choose.

    Swift Tricks : If a wielder is proficient with a yo-yo, the wielder may utilize a combat maneuver with the yo-yo as part of his full attack, flurry of blows, or other situation in which he'd gain more than one attacks in place of one or more attacks. He still gains any other attacks that he would normally have for that action.

    Tricky Toy: A yo-yo is a toy-turned weapon (or is that weapon-turned-toy?), and thus has a number of special uses to those who know its secrets. If a wielder is proficient, a yo-yo may be utilized to perform any combat maneuver check, and the misfire chance is reduced by 1. If a wielder has weapon focus with yo-yos, the yo-yo provides a +2 bonus to any combat maneuver made with it as well as any perform check made with it, and the misfire chance is negated.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    Yo-yochucks, Yo!
    One-Handed Exotic Weapon


    • Yo-yo [Cost 2g; Damage: 1d6/1d6; Critical: 1-20/x2; Misfire 1-2, Weight: 1 lb.; Type: B; Critical Flaw, Disarm, Monk, Performance, Self-Endangerment, Sudden Bounce-back Reach, Swift Tricks, Tricky Toy, Unpossible Wielding]


    1 person marked this as a favorite.
    Quote:

    What about fractal chucks? Say, each striking end has at the end of it two smaller chucks... and each of those has two even smaller chucks... and at the end of those...

    What about a giant who in each hand wielded two halflings chained together at the ankles... monk-chucks? And what if each monk-chuck also wielded a pair of chucks?

    This can actually easily be accomplished by replacing the chainsaws in a Chuck Norrischuck with more Chuck Norrischucks. Continue to taste.

    If you hit N/I, however...

    Infinite Fractal: Every once in a while (1% chance per day or 1% chance per attack) one creature wielding a Infinite Fractal chuck or similarly infinite fractal or one creature within d100 ft. suddenly comes into a strange state of fractal existence. They suffer from a time stop, haste or slow effect or similar. Similarly, there is a 5% chance per day that an Infinite Fractal item suddenly lurches to life, as if affected by Animate Object; it also has a 50% chance of being affected by time stop and a 50% chance of having a haste effect. The caster level of these effects are 1d20+1d10.

    Quote:

    Also for the mannimal fractal.

    T rex given humanoid form with the anthro aninal spell. Two sets of hippopotamus attached by chains who are also given arms. Each of those well armed hippos weild double chained chuck norris chucks who are weilding rabid badgers who also have arms. Those badgers are weilding angry cats. The cats are cats and cannot be trusted to use anything but theur own claws. Fortunately there are a hell of a lot of them.
    1 t rex bite, 4 hippo bites 16 chuck norris beard fists 64 rabid biting badgers and 248 squalling Cats in a screaming storm of horrible feline death.
    There one fantasy zoo made as an army killer.

    Manimal Fractal; CR ??

    XP ??
    CE Garganutan aberration (extraplanar)
    Init +5; Senses darkvision 60 ft., lowlight vision, scent; Perception +31
    Aura indescribable horror (DC 19)
    --------------------
    DEFENSE
    --------------------
    AC 22, touch 8, flat-footed 20 (+2 Dex, +14 natural, –4 size)
    hp 264 (18d8+176)
    Fort +15, Ref +13, Will +13
    DR 10/magic; Immune confusion, insanity; Resist acid 10; SR 11+??
    --------------------
    OFFENSE
    --------------------
    Speed 40 ft.
    Melee Tyrannosaur Bite +20 (4d6+22/19–20 plus grab), 4 Hippo Bite +17 (2d8+8), 16 Chuck Norris Fists +variable (variable), 64 Rabid Dire Badgers +15 (1d4+4), 248 Squalling Cat Claws +15 (1d2-2) and 124 Squalling Cat Bite +15 (1d3+4)
    Space 20 ft.; Reach 40 ft.
    Special Attacks multiweapon mastery
    --------------------
    STATISTICS
    --------------------
    Str variable: 1 (32 STR)/4 (19 STR)/16 (variable)/64 (14 STR)/248 (3 STR), Dex 15, Con 23, Int 10, Wis 15, Cha 12
    Base Atk +13; CMB +28 (+32 grapple); CMD 39 (can't be tripped)
    Feats Exotic weapon proficiency: unpossible fractal 'chucks YO! (FC), Exotic weapon proficiency: unpossible fractal 'chucks YO!(FC), Critical Focus (FC), Improved Critical (FC), Weapon specialization (FC), Power Attack, Weapon Focus (FC)Greater weapon focus (FC), Greater weapon specialization (FC)
    Skills Climb +36 Perception +31, Swim +36; Racial Modifiers +8 Perception, +4 Climb, +4 Swim
    Languages Common
    --------------------
    SPECIAL ABILITIES
    --------------------
    Indescribable Horror (Su)
    A fractal manimal is something that should never be. As a result, all creatures who see it treat it as if it were under a constant blur effect. Those who are within 100 ft., however, or any who use true seeing or similar effects to see past the blur effect reveal the true horror that is a Manimal Fractal. They must immediately make a will save and must make a will save each round to avoid suffering from insanity, as the spell. If they succeed on the will save, they are, instead, affected as if by the confusion spell. The DC is Charisma-based; the caster level for these effects is equal to the fractal manimal's hit dice.

    Multiweapon Mastery (Ex)
    A manimal fractal never takes penalties to its attack roll when fighting with multiple weapons.

    Powerful Bite (Ex)
    A fractal manimal applies twice its strength modifier (or twice its dexterity modifier, if that's better) to damage.
    --------------------
    --------------------
    --------------------

    [/spoiler]

    Quote:
    Chainsaw three-section staff
    Two-Handed Exotic Weapon

    • Chainsaw three-section staff [Cost 2,400g; Damage: 1d12/1d12; Critical: 18-20/x4; Misfire 1-3 (each side), Weight: 28 lbs.; Type: P and S; Activated, Blocking, Chainsaw Stupidity, Chainsaw Sundering, Disarm, Fuel-powered, Monk, Performance, Unpossible Wielding; Optional House-rule Qualities (Chainsaw)]

    This weapon is similar to a Chainsaw Chuck, however the Reflex DC increases by 3.

    Quote:
    Broom Chucks

    Broomchucks, Yo!

    Two-Handed Exotic Weapon

    • Broom Chucks [Cost 2s; Damage: 1d6/1d6; Critical: 19-20/x2; Misfire 1-3 (each side), Weight: 5 lbs.; Type: B; Clean the Clock, Clean Cut, Clean Sweep, Disarm, Monk, Performance, Unpossible Wielding]

    Clean the Clock: Upon a successful critical against a living creature, the subject must make a fortitude save (DC equal to the attack) or suffer from an effect for 1d4 rounds: roll a d3 to determine [1) dazed, 2) dazzled, 3) both dazed and dazzled]

    Clean Cut: By using a move action to shift your stance, the Broom Chucks can be utilized to make a single Slashing attack in a round instead of a Bludgeoning attack.

    Clean Sweep: At any point during an attack action, a bearer of the Broom Chucks may be able to utilize the Trip combat maneuver instead of a single attack in a round.

    Quote:
    Hm... trying to think of something involving the pun "Harmor" as in (harm)+(armor), but I've too many ideas to narrow it down to anything comprehensible. Does it have to do with spiked armors, either chained together or on a stick to batter others with? Armor made out of hammers? Who knows? (Not me. At least not yet.)

    +

    Quote:

    Harmor-chucks?

    Harmour-chucks, for the Europeans out there?

    Pal-drons, for helpfully weaponized shoulder armor?

    Harmor [AC +9, max DEX bonus +2, acp -5, asf 35%, spd 15 (or 10 ft.), weight 95 lbs; armor spikes, bodily retort, dangerous armor spikes, deadly, deflecting, jarring, self-hammering, vital guard]

    Made entirely of hammers and spikes, this armor is surprisingly potent... and deadly. The fact that it could also potentially harm the wearer is entirely irrelevant.

    Bodily Retort: Due to the dangerous nature of this armor, when an enemy utilizes a melee piercing attack, the wearer may make an immediate Disarm attempt against the attacker (after the attack has been made and any damage dealt).

    Dangerous Armor Spikes: Instead of the normal damage, harmor spiked armor deals 1d10 damage, has a critical multiplier of x3, and deals bludgeoning or piercing damage. Additionally, it provides a +2 bonus to sunder medium or heavy armor with itself.

    Deadly: the armor spikes have the deadly weapon special property.

    Self-hammering: Unfortunately, since the armor is made of hammers, it can sometimes be dangerous to the bearer. While this quality grants the deflecting, jarring, and vital guard special qualities automatically (although it only inflicts one land speed penalty), and adds armor spikes, on a successful critical from a bludgeoning weapon, the bearer must make a Reflex save equal to the attack roll, or else the armor deals +3d8 additional bludgeoning damage.

    Pal-drons

    Quote:

    Specific Magic Shield

    Pal-drons
    Price 903 g
    Aura faint transmutation; CL 1st; Weight 1 1/4 lbs.
    --------------------
    STATISTICS
    --------------------
    Alignment N*; Ego -; Senses 30 ft.
    * Unlike normal for an intelligent item, the Pal-drons do not impose a negative level or force a personality conflict due to being of a different alignment or goals.

    Int 10, Wis 10, Cha 10
    Communication empathy
    --------------------
    DESCRIPTION
    --------------------
    This pair of shoulder-guards has been imbued with some measure of intelligence. Unlike normal intelligent items, they like the bearer, regardless of who that bearer is. They can turn their light on or off (shedding light like a torch) at will, as magic weapons do. Otherwise, they may try to help warn you of anything they notice through their empathy, which is nice.

    They otherwise function as a darkwood buckler with shield spikes, save that they are made of mithril and they do not take up any part of your hand, and thus do not impose any penalty and you do not lose their shield bonus to AC when you use both hands in an attack.

    --------------------
    CONSTRUCTION REQUIREMENTS
    --------------------
    Craft Magic Arms and Armor, lightCost 451 gold

    GREATER PAL-DRONS

    Quote:

    Specific Magic Shield

    Pal-a-drons
    Price 178,603 gold
    Aura strong transmutation; CL 12th; Weight 1 1/4 lbs.
    --------------------
    STATISTICS
    --------------------
    Alignment LG*; Ego 13; Senses 30 ft.
    * Unlike normal for an intelligent item, the Pal-a-drons do not impose a negative level or force a personality conflict due to being of a different alignment or goals, though they may refuse to utilize their special abilities on behalf of the bearer (the bearer cannot use the pal-a-don's special attacks or abilities).

    Int 10, Wis 10, Cha 20
    Communication empathy, speech
    Skills diplomacy +18, knowledge (religion) +13

    Special Purpose virtuous action

    Special Abilities (CL 12th, concentration +17)

    Aura: the Pal-a-drons respond to divination magic as if they were a lawful and good outsider with hit dice equal to their caster level.

    Immunity: In addition to normal construct immunities, Pal-a-drons are immune to charm and fear effects, magical or otherwise (including such effects as intimidate, or related effects such as control construct); the wearer and any allies within 10 ft. gain a +4 morale bonus to saves against any such effects. Further, they are immune to any disease or disease-like curse (or similar effects) even if the effects would normally apply to constructs.

    Divine Grace (Su): Pal-a-drons add a bonus equal to their Charisma bonus to all of their saves (as well as those of their bearer), and to their AC and to the shield bonus they provide to their bearer.

    Lay on Hands (Su): 11/day, as a standard action, Pal-a-drons can heal 6d6 points of damage a living creature that touches them, or deal 6d6 points of damage to an undead. They can also use this ability to repair themselves in this way as a swift action. By expending two uses of this ability, they may instead channel energy as a cleric, healing (or dealing to undead) 6d6 points of damage.
    - Mercy: A pal-a-dron removes the following conditions whenever it utilizes its Lay on Hands ability: blinded, deafened, dazed, fatigued, frightened, exhausted, nauseated, shaken, sickened, staggered (unless the target is at exactly 0 hit points).

    Divine Bond (Su): Pal-a-Drons can form a divine bond with their wearer. As a standard action, a pal-a-dron can enhance itself armor by calling upon the aid its celestial spirit. This lasts for 12 minutes. The pal-a-dron can gain up to an additional +3 enhancement bonus. These bonuses can be added to the shield, stacking with its existing +1 armor bonus to a maximum of +4, or they can be used to add any of the following armor properties: champion [APG], ghost touch, heavy fortification, invulnerability, light fortification, moderate fortification, spell resistance (13, 15, 17, or 19).
    Adding these properties consumes an amount of bonus equal to the property’s cost. In addition, the bonuses can be consumed at the listed amount to add any of the following armor properties: energy resistance for +3 bonus, improved energy resistance for +5 bonus, or righteous [APG] for +4 bonus. These bonuses are added to any properties the pal-a-dron already has, but duplicate abilities do not stack. The bonus and properties granted by the pal-a-dron are determined when the spirit is called and cannot be changed until the spirit is called again. The celestial spirit imparts no bonuses if the armor is not worn by a lawful good character, but it resumes giving bonuses if a lawful good creature dons the pal-a-drons.
    If a the pal-a-don with a celestial spirit is broken, the pal-a-drons loses the use of this ability for 30 days, or until it gains a level, whichever comes first. During this 30-day period, the pal-a-drons takes a –1 penalty on attack and weapon damage rolls.

    Smite Evil (Su): 4/day, a pal-a-drons can call out to the powers of good to aid it in her struggle against evil. As a swift action, the pal-a-dron chooses one target within sight to smite. If this target is evil, the paladin adds its Cha bonus (+5) to its attack rolls and adds +12 to all damage rolls made against the target of its smite. If the target of smite evil is an outsider with the evil subtype, an evil-aligned dragon, or an undead creature, the bonus to damage on the first successful attack increases to +24 points of damage. Regardless of the target, smite evil attacks automatically bypass any DR the creature might possess.
    In addition, while smite evil is in effect, the pal-a-dron gains a deflection bonus equal to its Charisma modifier (+5) to its AC against attacks made by the target of the smite; this deflection bonus is shared by the wearer. If the pal-a-dron targets a creature that is not evil, the smite is wasted with no effect.
    The smite evil effect remains until the target of the smite is dead or the next time the pal-a-drons rests and regains its uses of this ability.
    By expending two uses of its smite evil ability, as a free action, the pal-a-dron can grant the ability to smite evil to all allies within 10 feet, using its bonuses. Allies must use this smite evil ability by the start of the pal-a-don's bearer's next turn and the bonuses last for 1 minute.

    Spell-like Abilities (CL 12th, concentration +17)

    Constantdetect evil, 3/dayneutralize poison, remove curse, remove disease

    --------------------
    DESCRIPTION
    --------------------
    This mighty pair of shoulder-guards has been imbued with some measure of intelligence and a truly sacred purpose. Unlike normal intelligent items, they like the bearer, regardless of who that bearer is, though the bearer might not enjoy the experience - the pal-a-drons will constantly attempt to sway any bearer they have to become lawful good, if they are not already, utilizing all of their diplomacy and knowledge (religion) to do so, for the sake of their new friend. They can turn their light on or off (shedding light like a torch) at will, as magic weapons do. Otherwise, they may try to help warn you of anything they notice through their empathy or even speech, which is nice.

    They otherwise function as a +1 darkwood buckler with shield spikes, save that they are made of mithril and they do not take up any part of your hand, and thus do not impose any penalty and you do not lose their shield bonus to AC when you use both hands in an attack.

    They may attack any creature that is adjacent to you with their shield spikes three times per round, as if they had a +18/+13/+8 attack bonus; they deal damage as normal for armor spikes, but deal an additional +5 damage, as if with a Strength score of 20.

    --------------------
    CONSTRUCTION REQUIREMENTS
    --------------------
    Craft Magic Arms and Armor, light, animate objects, Cost 89,301 gold

    Optional Construction Option:

    Quote:
    Merciful: The pal-a-dron's shield spikes gain the merciful special quality. Additionally, the pal-a-dron removes the following conditions whenever it utilizes its Lay on Hands ability: blinded, deafened, dazed, fatigued, frightened, exhausted, nauseated, shaken, sickened, staggered (unless the target is at exactly 0 hit points). The price is increased by 19,407 gold; the cost is increased accordingly.
    Quote:


    Movin wrote:

    And also please bring a broom. I believe Smashomancer may have broken

    Tacticslion with this thread.

    Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnah.

    I was broken already.


    1 person marked this as a favorite.

    Harmorchucks, Yo!
    Two-Handed Exotic Weapon


    • Harmor Chucks [Cost 7,000 g; Damage: 1d10/1d10; Critical: 19-20/x3; Weight: 200 lbs.; Type: B and P; Armored Entanglement, Disarm, Monk, Performance, Self-Endangerment, Unpossible Wielding]

    Armored Entanglement: Whenver a wielder fails the Reflex save for Self-Endangerment check, there is a 50% chance that something wierd happens when attacking the wielder - the armor gets tangled into the wielder or the target (50% chance each). If this happens, whoever gets entangled is entitled to a reflex save (as the Self-Endangerment save) to attempt to fully put it on. If this saves, the armor is treated as donned hastily. If it fails, the target takes all the penalties, but gains none of the benefits.

    Also, the base Harmor costs 3,250 gold.

    Sorry: I forgot!

    EDIT: fixed


    2 people marked this as a favorite.

    Beaverchucks, Yo!
    Two-Handed Exotic Weapon


    • Beaver Chucks [Cost 10 g; Damage: 1d3-4/1d3-4 (see below); Critical: 17-20/x3; Weight: 20 lbs.; Type: P and S; Angry Beaver, Danger Beyond Death, Disarm, Monk, Performance, Self-Endangerment, Unintentional Implication, Unpossible Wielding]

    Angry Beaver: While wielded in combat, Beaver Chucks grant the beavers attached to it the effects of a mighty rage, as if a barbarian with that ability; this effect lasts for the duration of combat, increasing the beavers' strength scores to 11, and changing the weapon damage to 1d3. In any event, whenever the weapon strikes, it threatens Nipple Vorpal as normal for a Beaver.

    Danger Beyond Death: A dead beaver can be used as a bludgeoning weapon for 1d2 damage instead of its base damage. Additionally, there is a 1% chance that a dead beaver does not, in fact, die. Instead it recovers 2d8 rounds later, as if it had not died, but was healed from -5 hp by a breath of life spell (effective CL 1st). This is a natural phenomenon, not a supernatural effect. The beaver is entirely alive as normal, if this occurs.

    Unintentional Implication: I mean, you guys can read these names, right? Right? It's not just me... right? Regardless, the more a foe learns about and actually understands the weapon, the more ridiculous the unintentional implications. Any time a foe (or a wielder) makes a successful knowledge or intelligence check, or any time a creature hears about Beaver Chucks (or the Angry Beaver special ability), they must succeed at a will save equal to the Reflex DC for Self-Endangerment or else be subject to a Hideous Laughter effect for 1d4 rounds. A given creature can be affected by this ability once per day, but the wielder can potentially be affected by it (and must save against it) each time a new creature is affected.

    (Sorry I missed this before.)


    1 person marked this as a favorite.
    Tacticslion wrote:

    ...

    ...
    ...
    ... yo-yos (and 'chucks)

    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    Light Exotic Weapon


    • Yo-yo [Cost 5s; Damage: 1d6; Critical: x2; Misfire 1-2, Weight: 1/2 lb.; Type: B; Critical Flaw, Sudden Bounce-back Reach, Swift Tricks, Tricky Toy]

    Critical Flaw: Yo-yos have the ability to misfire (similar to a gun), but also may misfire any time it successfully confirms a critical hit. When a yo-yo misfires, a bearer may attempt a DC 20 Reflex save or Perform (yo-yo) check to negate the misfire. When a yo-yo has misfired, in addition to the normal penalties for misfire (see Firearms rules), a yo-yo becomes a reach weapon, and is thus useless for melee combat against adjacent foes.

    Sudden Bounce-back Reach: No one expects the yo-yo! When you utilize a yo-yo as a weapon, you may choose to treat the weapon as if it had reach for all purposes, but upon the completion of your attack, it returns to your hand, no longer being vulnerable to sunder. If you are not proficient with a yo-yo, you may not bring the yo-yo back to you automatically - it requires a move action. If you misfire, winding the yo-yo instead becomes a full-round action, and, until it is wound, it is treated as if it had the reach property for all purposes - you may not choose.

    Swift Tricks : If a wielder is proficient with a yo-yo, the wielder may utilize a combat maneuver with the yo-yo as part of his full attack, flurry of blows, or other situation in which he'd gain more than one attacks in place of one or more attacks. He still gains any other attacks that he would normally have for that action.

    Tricky Toy: A yo-yo is a toy-turned weapon (or is that weapon-turned-toy?), and thus has a number of special uses to those who know its secrets. If a wielder is proficient, a yo-yo may be utilized to perform any combat maneuver check, and the misfire chance is reduced by 1. If a wielder has weapon focus with yo-yos, the yo-yo provides a +2 bonus to any...

    CHODENJI YO-YO!!!!!!!!!!!!


    1 person marked this as a favorite.

    Guys, quit copying my idea!


    It's not copying... it's codifying. You're welcome!


    1 person marked this as a favorite.

    Num chucks, axe chucks, sword chucks, beaver chucks, ect.
    They are all 2 headed weapons and require dual wielding to use.
    The self injury if you try to use them without the capability to dual wield is a nice mechanic.

    51 to 100 of 121 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | next > last >>
    Community / Forums / Pathfinder / Pathfinder First Edition / Homebrew and House Rules / Axe-Chucks, yo! All Messageboards

    Want to post a reply? Sign in.