Cheesy Mage Pickup Lines


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I put a spell on you.. and now you're miiinnneee~"


Sliska Zafir wrote:
Can I cast expeditious retreat on you? Because you'll be running through my mind all day.

No, it's self-only.

"Hey babe, mind if I cast Hold Person?" (Optional: "Metaphorically. …unless you're into that.")
"Don't take it wrong if I cast Extended Death Ward, because that bod screams 'succubus'."
"Hey babe, mind if I get familiar with you?"
"If you don't like what you see, I can change it." *Disguise Self/Extended Alter Self*
"Where would you like me to deliver my touch spell?"
"I think I just failed a will save."

Bonus Golarion content:
"Are you from Numeria? Call me Nu, because I wanna marry ya."
(Very drunk) "Are you from Varisia? Call me… wait, wrong nation."
"Shelyn called. She's got an opening for priestess." (Optional: "I'm here with a counter-offer from Nocticula."/"I'm here with a counter-offer from Socothbenoth")


"Girl, you know how I feel about you. It's like you're a fossil-sample, and I'm an impatient paleontologist. Cuz I wanna date you badly"

N-dawg out!


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N-dawg wrote:

"Girl, you know how I feel about you. It's like you're a fossil-sample, and I'm an impatient paleontologist. Cuz I wanna date you badly"

-Nearyn

"My wand casts a spell that will unlock the door, and the wand is my junk and the door is your face" ?

This is an unnecessary NSFW warning about the link above.


Do you want to touch my Staff of the Magi? Don't worry, it'll only explode if your hands are magic.

I'm glad I didn't cast Protection from Evil, 'cause with a body like that, you must be a succubus. Let's grapple.

Want to try something you'll never forget? I have Floating Disk, Mage Hand, Grease, and Unseen Servant prepared.

I'm glad I'm wearing a Robe of Eyes, 'cause you're worth seeing from every angle.

I hope you know Rope Trick, 'cause I want to spend all night in your pocket dimension.


"There you are! Oh, I am so happy I found you—a dragon is coming to take the most beautiful maiden in town. Quick, take my hand and I'll teleport you to safety."

The Exchange

BigNorseWolf wrote:


I know both black tentacles AND grease...

Horrificly enough, there actually is a spellcaster in my game with those two spells and they have been mentioned in this context.

The world if filled with terrible people, it would seem.

Sovereign Court

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I put on my robe and wizard hat.

Sovereign Court

Lord Snow wrote:
BigNorseWolf wrote:


I know both black tentacles AND grease...

Horrificly enough, there actually is a spellcaster in my game with those two spells and they have been mentioned in this context.

The world if filled with terrible people, it would seem.

Our hedonismbot master summoner added mad monkeys, mount, and summoned feindish weasels as nipple clamps to that line up.


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..and this is why a poor infernal bloodline sorceress barely can go out for a drink without casting 'repel wood'.


stealthy redhead wrote:
..and this is why a poor infernal bloodline sorceress barely can go out for a drink without casting 'repel wood'.

"Your mere presence here cast me under a flesh to stone spell. So don't worry about "wood", because all I've got for you is hard, solid rock."


Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber; Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Would you like to see my boomstick?

Once you go gnome you never go home. (gnome mages only).

I have huge balls...of fire.

Would you like help me test a new use for Grease?

Or Enlarge Person?

Or Black Tentacles?


For you lady witches out there with the charm hex....

It's time for you to fall into dark devotion...


Did you just cast pilfering hand, because you stole my heart..

Mage hand can do so much more...just let me reach out and touch you..

(for male witches) Prehensile hair..old news, let me show you what else I can make prehensile..

So your a Tian...don't worry baby, I know black tentacles...


"I put on my robe and wizard hat."


Tirq wrote:

Are you a fireball?

Cause you just blow my mind!

... yeah, that's all I got.

It's shadowrun, so make that a "manaball" and it's actually pretty good!


Sorry, meatrace, but Mad Alchemist had you ninja'ed by 4 days.

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

Decker? Hardly know her!

Sometimes being a mageslave ain't so bad.

I must be a technomancer, because I'm resonating with you.

In his will Dunklesahn left me one date with anyone I choose. I hope you'll be the one.

I'm not just some chummer. I'm so adept you'll think I'm a mage in the sack.

Take my Premium Platinum subscription to DocWagon. I'd be bereft if anything happened to you.

Don't worry babe, I'm less of a FastJack, more of a Lofwyr.


"Is that a familiar? Because I find you bewitching."

"Hey, got a new use of mage armor I think you'll like."

"I cast sleep."

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