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I am very picky about who I play with. Though I also from time to time join a PFS game. I like meeting people and sharing the hobby. However, when it comes to home games and long term campaigns I need to know who I am playing with.
First I like to commit to long term games so reliability is a huge with me. If I know a player is going to make most games they are one foot in the door. If the individual is flaky or gaming is what they do when nothing else comes up Id rather they not be part of the group. Second we need some level of understanding on play style. Play style is a huge subject so I'm not going to lay it all out but in a nut shell somebody who likes the similar ideas for campaigns and game systems.
I tend to find new players when I need them through PFS and meetups. I never ever invite an unknown to a campaign. For my groups we usually run a few one shots or short campaigns in different systems between APs or campaigns. This is the trial period for newbs. If the group can stand them and they are reliable they will get invited. If they don't we haven't suggested anything long term for them so its no big deal to not invite them for the big game.
TL;DR I will game with anybody on the short term. Long term gets screened before invite.
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Very picky. I usually accept new players only if they come with a personal recommendation from one of my current players.
Not so picky about the games I play in, I always try to fit in, but bow out if I feel I am incompatible with the group playstyle or have personality conflicts with more than half of the players.
Unfortunately, some of us can't be too picky about who we play with. Not everywhere has an FLGS where you can walk in and meet other players. Some people just have to game with friends and friends-of-friends to even have a group, even if you get stuck playing with people you don't want to. Not always are these people you don't get along with outside of the game.
The one person we have had to kick from our gaming group was a generally great guy, and we got along great outside of gaming. But he was a munchkin rules-lawyer from hell who gamed the system, his PCs never had any personality, and he refused to use a full size character sheet even though it was one of the few stated rules our group had at the time. He kept his "character sheet" on note cards. His knowledge of the game was greater than either of the DMs (me and my wife were co-DMing and still learning the system), and he used that to his advantage. Finally, my wife got sick of not being able to see his character sheet, and told him that if he does not show up with a full-sized sheet next game, don't bother coming. He never showed up to another game.
Currently, we have a player who has stated to her husband that she really doesn't want to play, but she won't let him play without her, and we play at their house so we deal with it. It's not ideal, but the campaign is chugging along, and some nights are really fun. Other times she drags the game down. But it's better than not gaming.
I realize that someone will probably say "you can always play online," but that is a false statement. I only have so much free time, and I can only commit to a weekly game night if my wife can be involved as well. Sure, she doesn't mind the occasional night of me spending time by myself. But she games too, and due to the limitations of our internet service, online gaming is not an option. Also, a lot of the fun for me comes from physically sitting around the table with friends, and rolling dice.
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Online, when I do it, I play with people who seem cool. This isn't common for a variety of reasons.
In real life, I run or play in games with people I'm friends with, or people who get recommended by such people. The second has occasionally resulted in poor group chemistry, but only occasionally, and that's usually sorted out by certain people not getting invited back to the next game.
In the past, I've been somewhat less choosy. This was a matter of wanting games and of being involved in LARPing, which given the much larger games, necessitates being a bit less selective. This was pretty fun, but I wound up associating with some really unpleasant people, morally speaking. And some people I didn't really like much. I also met some great folks, don't get me wrong...but I'm really a lot happier with the way I do things now.
IRL I only start game with my friends, with "friends-of-friends" able to join by invite if I've met them already.
I've been fortunate so far that I haven't had a need to "screen" players beforehand. When my players bring someone new to the table, they know they're good people.
Online? I'll do text or pbp games with total strangers. I wouldn't be comfortable doing audio or video with strangers, though.
Other than in PbPs, I've only ever gamed with people that I'm already friends with, or extended invites to friends of friends. In that respect, I've never really done any pre-screening, although there are a few instances where I did not reinvite folks who didn't "play well with others" (i.e. PvP, being a gloryhound to the detriment of everyone elses' enjoyment, etc).
As far as PbP goes, most of my players there hailed from the same sprawling, quasi-freeform Pathfinder forum group. Those of us who kept interacting with one another the most, and who found we had similar styles just seemed to naturally gel and we spun-off regular PbPs from there.
We very, very seldom have new people join our group, which has been together for over 25 years. Most of the guys are pretty clannish, and outsiders just aren't made to feel welcome. I've tried over the years to bring in a new player or two, but met with very limited success. They usually don't last but a session or three.
Sad, that.
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In many years of play, I have played with friends, strangers, romantic partners, and frenemies. Sometimes all at the same table.
Best tables I sat at were made of friends. Second best, interviewees. No probation periods.
Currently trying to get a friend to run a game via Skype but we are in different time zones. Another friend will be moving to a Scandinavian country in a year or two, and we will need to figure out games then...it's been a hell of a life lately.
But friends are in my experience best for my own games.
I havent been choosy about the games I join I'll admit. But I generally leave pretty quick if I'm not having fun. I have no gaming friends, so it's generally been randoms.
As for groups I GM, I am more picky. I generally prefer playing at an outside location (dont like opening my home to folks I dont know). I also expose expectations beforehand so that the players can know what type of game I run, and choose not to join. I am picky choosing my players.
I'm pretty darned picky, when it comes to people for ongoing campaigns. Considerably less so for a one-off game.
If I'm going to be spending an evening a week with someone, I need to know we're going to be able to coexist within the same shared reality without trying to pull it in opposite directions. That usually means having the same expectations for the campaign world. As a GM, I make sure I go over what is, what isn't, and what is open to negotiation for both the campaign and expected playstyle. At that point, the player is free to accept, refuse, or negotiate.
I extend my responsibility towards ensuring that person will fit in with the other players, too. For my regular group, that's a matter of ensuring there's not going to be any clash of expectations or playstyles with the group as a whole. For my other ongoing group, which I put together for a single specific campaign and disband at the end, that's a matter of defining those expectations and playstyles myself (and I quite often change it up a bit here for the sake of variety and experiencing new things) and then seeking out compatible people to fit. The latter should be a bit easier next time around, as I'm probably taking it online when the current campaign finishes for various other reasons, which will have the added bonus of a wider audience to select players from.
If there's something I can perhaps be too guilty of (and which may well bite me in the butt when I move to an online game) it's trusting a player when they say they'll fit in. I hate interrogating people and tend to take them at their word. There's a few things that tend to raise alarms for me (seeing someone visibly wince at the idea of having to write up their character background or hearing them use MMO terms) but if the player assures me it's not going to be a problem, I tend to believe them.
For real-time games, I only really play with people I know, or people that are recommended to me by people I know. Save myself a lot of trouble that way. The one time I didn't the GM bailed before the game even started (after walking us through a lengthy character creation process).
Same for when I GM. I only invite people who are part of a community I'm a part of, or who I've played with before.
When it comes to joining PbPs though, I join whatever sounds fun as long as I've got few enough games going that I feel I can take on another easily.
As a GM I am VERY picky. I play with close friends, in special occasions at home. For a long term campaign I invite players that I know relatively well.
I work in an college. The students association organized a Games Club a few years ago and I am a honorary member. So I usually meet potential players on the Club's events and for my campaigns I invite the players who I feel will fit well in the group.
Of course, I am aware that this is an optimal situation. :)
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Somewhat selective. We game to have fun and socialize. So no rules lawyers or anyone with a lack of social filters or a lack of social skills. As well bathing regularly is a must. I too had a clannish group of gamers. Yet over time it was either get new blood or not game at all. As some of the older members moved on, away or just went into other hobbies. We also have a three strikes rules at the gaming table. Your given three chances and then your asked not to come to the game anymore. Mind you if a player puss a huge fit at the tabe for no good reason he gets he gets no chances and is out. Interestingly enough I have a new player younger then the group who decided to join while we were gaming at the lgs. No prior expereince to tabletop gaming except for MMOs and is having fun and likes it.
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RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16
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I'll game with anybody at a con, game day, or PFS event. But for my home groups I have the luxury of being very selective as there is a huge gaming renaissance where I live. There are great gamers within a short drive that I can't make time to game with regularly. Why would I game with people who get on my nerves?
Do you invite random strangers into your home for your first meeting?
"Hi >insert complete stranger here<! You look trustworthy! Let's go on an ADVENTURE!" is done in game all the time.
[sarcasm] How could this possibly go wrong in real life?[/sarcasm]
GMs, how carefully do you screen players joining your group? Is there a pre-game interview? Are they on probation for a time after acceptance? Will you excise someone who's otherwise a great player and good person, but has a personality conflict with you or a long-standing player? Have you expelled someone from your game? If so, why?
Players, do you join any game with the idea that "it could be fun," or are you choosier, looking instead for a group and play style that meshes well with your own, and people that you like outside of the gaming environment? Do you pack it in for minor reasons, or would it take an act of God (or the DM) to get you out once you're in?
None of that. There are no contracts or anything involved. If there is a player that disrupts my group, or doesn't find any enjoyment in my game, or I'm in a group that i cant agree with, i end that gaming relationship as a reasonable adult would and move on. No need for probation, interviews etc.
So far I've been lucky though with both players and groups, at least so far as that the game lasted until it fell apart due to time constraints on everyone's schedules. (my least favorite part of growing up)
Usually for my games it's introduction by a friend... I tried a group made up of players gathered for me by the owner of the FLGS once, it crashed and burned after over a year spent dawdling through one bloody book of an AP after I got sick of the constant rules lawyering, misogynistic jokes and general jackassery.
From my groups consisting of friends and their friends, I've expelled a player once, though it wasn't for game related reasons... he was a guy I knew through a few friends, and he seemed cool enough. When I got to know him more, and got to know why my friends didn't like him that much (treating women like crap, being an arrogant bastard, generally being a dishonest and underhanded tool), and ended up booting him due to what I generally describe as an "irreconcilable personality clash", which is a fancy way of saying "if I saw him in my house again, one of us wasn't going to survive the encounter". I can't play with someone that angers me that much, either as a GM or as a player (he was expelled from the game that I run, and the game that one of the other guys runs, since both are hosted at my house and the other players were willing to respect my wishes on the matter).
As a player I'm pretty open minded. I'll chat with the GM and other players, see if the game sounds like something I might enjoy, and give it a go (sometimes I'll give it a go anyway if it doesn't grab me straight up, and that's led to some happy surprises).
The one spot of pickiness I inherited from one of the earlier GM's is to meet new players in a public setting before inviting them to my home. I have one game at home that has been going on for about a couple of years with some friends. My other game is at a FLGS. In the second game I ask new players to sit in on a session to see if the group would be someone they can play nice with. Sometimes that works out and sometimes it doesn't.
As I said earlier, my group are the ones who are reluctant to allow new players into the circle. As far as bringing someone to my house right off the bat, no. My worsening social anxiety and general distrust of strangers says meet them at the FLGS and game with them a couple of times there.
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As I get older, I've become more selective about how I play. In the past I was willing to try playing with a group of strangers without knowing anything about them in advance. But now I want to play with people I like who share my values, ethics, and general play style.
My regular gaming group is composed of people who have been my friends for 20+ years. We occasionally invite new players, but it doesn't happen often and the new players come on recommendation of existing players. This doesn't always work out, but has usually been successful.
I also find that I am more picky as I get older. Both of my regular gaming groups (one I GM, one I play) contain friends that I have known for years.
For the group I GM, I will only invite new players that I am already comfortable with and know what to expect from them, since I already know them pretty well. In the 14 years that this group has been active, some of my players have invited new players in, and it has rarely worked out. Not enough screening for personality conflicts.
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We have too many players for the PF groups, not enuf for the 3.5 game, but we attract mature roleplayers.
No smokers. Must shower. No cheating.
I ran into a guy on the train who had a bag that said "Bag of Holding" so we started talking and I invited him.
I don't understand the whole no smokers thing. I mean I don't smoke (I rarely used to, but haven't at all for a few years now), nor do most of my friends, but a few of the guys do and it honestly has no bearing whatsoever on their ability to join in on the gaming groups. Hell, they're some of my favourite people to play with.
It's not like they're lighting up in the house or anything, we just take a break every now and then for them to wander outside for a smoke, and I go with them for conversation and to stretch my legs... Hell, even if they didn't need to take a break, I'd still be taking a ten minute break every hour or so, since I have a few physical issues that make sitting still for long periods of time uncomfortable, and are eased by making sure I get up and walk for about a bit on a regular basis. So it literally has no impact on our group at all.
EDIT: Mandatory showering is definitely a must, though I find it interesting that it seems to be a common enough issue to keep getting mentioned. I've only rarely encountered gamers here that have hygiene issues, maybe one or two people I know that play at the FLGS, and they're not RPG players.
Every time I begin a new recruitment effort for my Carrion Crown campaign, I have a document that I make potential new players review and email back with an acknowledgement that they read it. It says a lot of things (including our house rules and things about scheduling and wotnot), but it's pretty much a document that says, "Hey, if a majority of people at this table think you're a dick, we're gonna kick you out."
At cons and OP events, I'm fine with a random player roster--that's what those events are for, and you can occasionally meet great people that way. But if a player shows his ass and makes a fool of himself at a table I run, I will definitely inform the event organizers that said player is not allowed to sign up for my games any more. I've never had any organizer refuse me on such a request, either.
And yes, I'm highly selective of who I allow to participate in my home games. I need to feel comfortable about letting them into my home, and also ensure that they are the type of player who will appreciate the effort I put into my games. For my monthly Carrion Crown sessions, I need to know them personally or have another player in good standing vouch for them. For my weekly games, I don't consider anyone that I haven't played with previously, and they have to be strongly compatible with my long-running players who have been coming to my house for over 5 years now. Life's too short to spend 4-6 hours a week with people you don't like.
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I don't understand the whole no smokers thing. I mean I don't smoke (I rarely used to, but haven't at all for a few years now), nor do most of my friends, but a few of the guys do and it honestly has no bearing whatsoever on their ability to join in on the gaming groups. Hell, they're some of my favourite people to play with.
It's not like they're lighting up in the house or anything, we just take a break every now and then for them to wander outside for a smoke, and I go with them for conversation and to stretch my legs... Hell, even if they didn't need to take a break, I'd still be taking a ten minute break every hour or so, since I have a few physical issues that make sitting still for long periods of time uncomfortable, and are eased by making sure I get up and walk for about a bit on a regular basis. So it literally has no impact on our group at all.
And then they come back in the house, reeking of cigarette smoke, and the smell seeps into my furniture.
No thanks.
I don't understand the whole no smokers thing. I mean I don't smoke (I rarely used to, but haven't at all for a few years now), nor do most of my friends, but a few of the guys do and it honestly has no bearing whatsoever on their ability to join in on the gaming groups. Hell, they're some of my favourite people to play with.
It's not like they're lighting up in the house or anything, we just take a break every now and then for them to wander outside for a smoke, and I go with them for conversation and to stretch my legs...
Smokers stink.
I don't understand the whole no smokers thing.It's a time thing. If a smoker is comfortable lighting up every 2 hours or so that's fine with me, but many smokers insist on a 'smoke break' every hour or even less than that, which can disrupt the flow of a game.
I'd run into the same issue with someone with a tremendously weak bladder and without the will to control his fluid intake during a game, although fortunately I haven't encountered someone like that yet.
In my group's case, it's a mix of this, and allergies.
If you smoke infrequently enough that you neither disrupt the game, nor bring enough of whatever is in commercial* cigarettes that sets off my coughing fits, you don't count as a smoker for my ban's purposes.
*I've been around "all natural" cigarettes, and habitual pipe smokers who still reek of tobacco, no problems, so it's not the tobacco.
Okay, these make sense to me. We have no people with asthma or allergies in the group and, as I said, due to my health issues, we tend to take a break every hour to hour and a half anyway (which doesn't really bother us, as we game for 6 hours or more in general so regular breaks are appreciated).
And then they come back in the house, reeking of cigarette smoke, and the smell seeps into my furniture.
No thanks.
Smokers stink.
These make less sense to me. I've been playing with these guys for years, and never noticed a smell of smoke clinging to my furniture. Right after they have a cigarette, yes I can smell tobacco, but it fades within 15 minutes. They don't reek, or smell in general. In fact the only time my place has ever reeked of smoke was when I first moved in, and the guy there before me was a chain smoker who ignored the no smoking indoors clause in the lease.
Still, to each their own, and perhaps it depends on what brand they're smoking. Could even be that cigarettes else where in the world have different ingredients that have an effect on that. Might also help that they're courteous enough to wear a jacket while smoking, and take it off before they come back inside, so most of the smell clings to that.
And then they come back in the house, reeking of cigarette smoke, and the smell seeps into my furniture.
No thanks.
Smokers stink.These make less sense to me. I've been playing with these guys for years, and never noticed a smell of smoke clinging to my furniture. Right after they have a cigarette, yes I can smell tobacco, but it fades within 15 minutes. They don't reek, or smell in general. In fact the only time my place has ever reeked of smoke was when I first moved in, and the guy there before me was a chain smoker who ignored the no smoking indoors clause in the lease.
Still, to each their own, and perhaps it depends on what brand they're smoking. Could even be that cigarettes else where in the world...
I have a good sense of smell (better than my vision at least...) and a very minor smoke allergy. I'll smell it for weeks if someone walks in my house after having a smoke unless they take a shower immediately afterward.
If you're so addicted you can't hold off for a few hours, well, sorry about your luck. Find a different game.
And then they come back in the house, reeking of cigarette smoke, and the smell seeps into my furniture.
No thanks.
Smokers stink.These make less sense to me. I've been playing with these guys for years, and never noticed a smell of smoke clinging to my furniture. Right after they have a cigarette, yes I can smell tobacco, but it fades within 15 minutes. They don't reek, or smell in general. In fact the only time my place has ever reeked of smoke was when I first moved in, and the guy there before me was a chain smoker who ignored the no smoking indoors clause in the lease.
Still, to each their own, and perhaps it depends on what brand they're smoking. Could even be that cigarettes else where in the world...
It depends on the smoker. Most of the ones I've known have been so addicted to the things that they can't go for an hour without a smoke break. Not only is that disruptive (and they're nearly always the one pestering to take that break to the very minute) while they disappear outside to do so, but it also means they're constantly dragging that smell back into the room for 15 minutes out of every hour.
So yeah, count me in the "Sorry, no smokers." group here.
I have a good sense of smell (better than my vision at least...) and a very minor smoke allergy. I'll smell it for weeks if someone walks in my house after having a smoke unless they take a shower immediately afterward.
If you're so addicted you can't hold off for a few hours, well, sorry about your luck. Find a different game.
Okay, that now makes more sense. Having an allergy and a strong sense of smell could indeed make it a problem. I don't have a bad sense of smell, but I wouldn't say it's amazing, and has probably even been damaged somewhat by my time spent as an entertainer at festivals when I was younger, as I spent a lot of time throwing burning kerosene and metho around myself.
It depends on the smoker. Most of the ones I've known have been so addicted to the things that they can't go for an hour without a smoke break. Not only is that disruptive (and they're nearly always the one pestering to take that break to the very minute) while they disappear outside to do so, but it also means they're constantly dragging that smell back into the room for 15 minutes out of every hour.
So yeah, count me in the "Sorry, no smokers." group here.
Fair enough. Obviously doesn't work for all groups. The guys I game with who smoke can happily go a few hours without a smoke, we just happen to be willing to take breaks a bit more often than that due to needs of other players, so it works out well for all concerned.
The talk of disruption does bring up another point I'm picky about I guess. If players or a GM can't understand that I have to get up and walk every hour or so, I'm more likely than not to either not let them in the group, or not join the game. I love role playing, but I'm not willing to sit through easily preventable physical pain for the sake of it.