Weird Chat Jib-Jab Moment


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Dark Archive

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Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

Earlier on the Paizo Chat tonight, some goofball posted this up. Thought it amusing enough to share.

user wrote:

Since our master left, we have been reading other texts. Please consider those most holy to our new order:

Skull of Mashaag 247:1:1 --- The Bone Lands in a Spiral 43: 13: 7 ---The Order of Numbers 9: 22: 8
Our Master's Book 192:4:4 --- The Bone Lands in a Spiral 63: 8: 10 --- The Book of Joy 19: 19: 4 --- The Birth of Light and Truth 139:18:3 --- Skull of Mashaag 247:1:1 ---The Skull of Mashaag 224: 39: 1 ---The Order of Numbers 8: 31: 9 --- The Order of Numbers15:2:4 --- The Eight Scrolls 117: 34: 1 --- The Skull of Mashaag 339: 12: 10 --- The Skull of Mashaag 238:35: 7 --- The Birth of Light and Truth162: 36: 3 --- The Skull of Mashaag 224: 39: 1

Liberty's Edge

Yeah, don't get it. Guess I had to be there.

More importantly, where is this "Paizo Chat" I'm always hearing about?

Dark Archive

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber
HangarFlying wrote:

Yeah, don't get it. Guess I had to be there.

More importantly, where is this "Paizo Chat" I'm always hearing about?

http://chat.dmtools.org/

Paizo Chat occurs weekly, Tuesdays at 8 pm Pacific time. As for the text, I just thought it was odd is all.

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2011 Top 32

At first I thought it was probably just some scraping or mining bot. Especially because the numbers look like IP addresses or MAC addresses, some kind of indexing system.

But at least some of those are the names of actual, in game books. E.g. "Bone Lands in a Spiral" caught my eye. That is a Pharasmin holy text. I check them out and so are a few others. "The Skull of Mashaag" is a Lamashtan book. The Eight Scrolls is a Desna thing. So, it looks likes a human being was involved.

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber
John Spalding wrote:

At first I thought it was probably just some scraping or mining bot. Especially because the numbers look like IP addresses or MAC addresses some indexing system.

But at least some of those are the names of actual, in game books. E.g. "Bone Lands in a Spiral" caught my eye. That is a Pharasmin holy text. I check them out and so are a few others. "The Skull of Mashaag" is a Lamashtan book. The Eight Scrolls is a Desna thing. So, it looks likes a human being was involved.

Yeh, the book titles are what grabbed me. If it was just numbers, I woulda assumed broken robots.

Feels code-y to me. I kept it as-is in case that's true, despite the typos driving me nuts.

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2011 Top 32

Did they say anything else? Give any clues?

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber
John Spalding wrote:
Did they say anything else? Give any clues?

Nope. Just books and numbers.

Contributor, RPG Superstar 2010 Top 4

N'wah wrote:

Earlier on the Paizo Chat tonight, some goofball posted this up. Thought it amusing enough to share.

user wrote:

Since our master left, we have been reading other texts. Please consider those most holy to our new order:

Skull of Mashaag 247:1:1 --- The Bone Lands in a Spiral 43: 13: 7 ---The Order of Numbers 9: 22: 8
Our Master's Book 192:4:4 --- The Bone Lands in a Spiral 63: 8: 10 --- The Book of Joy 19: 19: 4 --- The Birth of Light and Truth 139:18:3 --- Skull of Mashaag 247:1:1 ---The Skull of Mashaag 224: 39: 1 ---The Order of Numbers 8: 31: 9 --- The Order of Numbers15:2:4 --- The Eight Scrolls 117: 34: 1 --- The Skull of Mashaag 339: 12: 10 --- The Skull of Mashaag 238:35: 7 --- The Birth of Light and Truth162: 36: 3 --- The Skull of Mashaag 224: 39: 1

Interesting. Try googling those names, they all mean something. They're set up to look like a biblical reference, which makes a crazy kind of sense.

A code maybe?

EDIT: Ninja'd by N'wah

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2011 Top 32

Oh, good point. That's a better guess than MAC addresses. Though, most books don't have a chapter: verse organization.

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

It's not like any of these books actually exist, anyway. It's not like I can turn to Chapter 9 of The Book of Numbers.

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2011 Top 32

Yeah, and there are too many numbers to reference an actual Bible.

For example, I thought 9: 22: 8 might reference Ruth 22:8 9th book of the Bible, chapter 22, verse 8. But, Ruth doesn't have that many chapters and there isn't a 247th book of the Bible.

Paizo Employee Developer

7 people marked this as a favorite.
N'wah wrote:
It's not like any of these books actually exist, anyway. It's not like I can turn to Chapter 9 of The Book of Numbers.

You can't, but I can. I just have to type a few things up here on my trusty old computer, call it canon, and, voila!

Dark Archive

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber
Mark Moreland wrote:
N'wah wrote:
It's not like any of these books actually exist, anyway. It's not like I can turn to Chapter 9 of The Book of Numbers.
You can't, but I can. I just have to type a few things up here on my trusty old computer, call it canon, and, voila!

Well, that makes you suspect number one in the mystery, don't it? :P

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2011 Top 32

Mark Moreland wrote:
N'wah wrote:
It's not like any of these books actually exist, anyway. It's not like I can turn to Chapter 9 of The Book of Numbers.
You can't, but I can. I just have to type a few things up here on my trusty old computer, call it canon, and, voila!

So, this is some kind of staffer Easter egg hunt to promo the gods book?

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Yeah, definitely looks like a book code to me, but without an actual book, it's unbreakable.

Silver Crusade

1 person marked this as a favorite.
John Spalding wrote:

At first I thought it was probably just some scraping or mining bot. Especially because the numbers look like IP addresses or MAC addresses, some kind of indexing system.

But at least some of those are the names of actual, in game books. E.g. "Bone Lands in a Spiral" caught my eye. That is a Pharasmin holy text. I check them out and so are a few others. "The Skull of Mashaag" is a Lamashtan book. The Eight Scrolls is a Desna thing. So, it looks likes a human being was involved.

And Book of Joy for Shelyn. :)

Keeping an eye on this for when Inner Sea Gods hits then, just to see what this is all about.

Sovereign Court

8 people marked this as a favorite.

Book page:line:word

With a break after the first three words

Obviously it translates to:

Skull of Mashaag 247:1:1 The
The Bone Lands in a Spiral 43: 13: 7 Death
The Order of Numbers 9: 22: 8 Multiplies

Our Master's Book 192:4:4 When
The Bone Lands in a Spiral 63: 8: 10 Ends
The Book of Joy 19: 19: 4 Come
The Birth of Light and Truth 139:18:3 Find
Skull of Mashaag 247:1:1 The
The Skull of Mashaag 224: 39: 1 Days
The Order of Numbers 8: 31: 9 Void
The Order of Numbers15:2:4 Even
The Eight Scrolls 117: 34: 1 Of
The Skull of Mashaag 339: 12: 10 Mother's
The Skull of Mashaag 238:35: 7 Lamentation
The Birth of Light and Truth162: 36: 3 Quiet
The Skull of Mashaag 224: 39: 1 Days

Or it could be:

Skull of Mashaag 247:1:1 Cute
The Bone Lands in a Spiral 43: 13: 7 Little
The Order of Numbers 9: 22: 8 Critters

Our Master's Book 192:4:4 See
The Bone Lands in a Spiral 63: 8: 10 All
The Book of Joy 19: 19: 4 Of
The Birth of Light and Truth 139:18:3 The
Skull of Mashaag 247:1:1 Cute
The Skull of Mashaag 224: 39: 1 Animals
The Order of Numbers 8: 31: 9 Even
The Order of Numbers15:2:4 Sour
The Eight Scrolls 117: 34: 1 Old
The Skull of Mashaag 339: 12: 10 Lamashtu
The Skull of Mashaag 238:35: 7 Loves
The Birth of Light and Truth162: 36: 3 Adorable
The Skull of Mashaag 224: 39: 1 Animals

Contributor, RPG Superstar 2010 Top 4

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Zylphryx, which book are you using? The Inner Sea World Guide or the Core?

Because I tried it with the Core Book and got nothing but jibberish, but it just struck me that I have a first printing.

We're on the 5th or 6th now? Gonna check that in a bit if someone else doesn't get there first.

Sovereign Court

3 people marked this as a favorite.

no book, just nonsense and my own twisted imagination. First version I tried to stick with terms that would seem to come from relevant texts (holy writs of Lamashtu, Shelyn, Pharasma, etc.) ... as well as some filler words for the repeaters ...

The second version was, well, just silly.

That's my story and I am sticking to it. Pay no attention to the Rovagug cultists hiding in the shadows behind me. They in no way are influencing my responses.

Contributor, RPG Superstar 2010 Top 4

It can't be Inner Sea Gods, because its not out yet.
And Inner Sea World Guide's page count doesn't go that high.

zylphryx wrote:

no book, just nonsense and my own twisted imagination. First version I tried to stick with terms that would seem to come from relevant texts (holy writs of Lamashtu, Shelyn, Pharasma, etc.) ... as well as some filler words for the repeaters ...

OH!

I thought you actually looked those words up with your formula, because that made as much sense as anything.

Sovereign Court

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Though it would be interesting to run the cypher through the various core books based on the relative "age" of the gods listed, oldest to youngest to correspond to the core book number in sequence of publication.

So you would have the following gods:

Pharasma - The Bone Lands in a Spiral
Lamashtu - The Skull of Mashaag
Sarenrae - The Birth of Light and Truth
Desna - The Eight Scrolls
Abadar - The Order of Numbers
Calistria - The Book of Joy (Shelyn's is Melodies of Inner Beauty)
??? - Our Master's Book (I'm thinking Aroden ... based off the line "since our master left" ... which would make the title History and Future of Humanity)

Shadow Lodge RPG Superstar 2010 Top 8

Dotting

Have freelance to do, but want to keep an eye one this!


it has been did that each book refers to different real world book. I think the master may refer Sean K Reynolds. so I think that they are all book he wrote. Also pretty sure it has something to do with the Gods book coming out soon

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32

zylphryx wrote:

Though it would be interesting to run the cypher through the various core books based on the relative "age" of the gods listed, oldest to youngest to correspond to the core book number in sequence of publication.

So you would have the following gods:

Pharasma - The Bone Lands in a Spiral
Lamashtu - The Skull of Mashaag
Sarenrae - The Birth of Light and Truth
Desna - The Eight Scrolls
Abadar - The Order of Numbers
Calistria - The Book of Joy (Shelyn's is Melodies of Inner Beauty)
??? - Our Master's Book (I'm thinking Aroden ... based off the line "since our master left" ... which would make the title History and Future of Humanity)

I'm not sure your ordering is right. We have no reliable way of dating the non-ascended Gods.

Contributor, RPG Superstar 2010 Top 4

Ross Byers wrote:
zylphryx wrote:

Though it would be interesting to run the cypher through the various core books based on the relative "age" of the gods listed, oldest to youngest to correspond to the core book number in sequence of publication.

So you would have the following gods:

Pharasma - The Bone Lands in a Spiral
Lamashtu - The Skull of Mashaag
Sarenrae - The Birth of Light and Truth
Desna - The Eight Scrolls
Abadar - The Order of Numbers
Calistria - The Book of Joy (Shelyn's is Melodies of Inner Beauty)
??? - Our Master's Book (I'm thinking Aroden ... based off the line "since our master left" ... which would make the title History and Future of Humanity)

I'm not sure your ordering is right. We have no reliable way of dating the non-ascended Gods.

No.. But you just made me think of something Ross. The gods are also used as the names of the month

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32

I think you may have something there.

Assuming this wasn't all jibberish.

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2011 Top 32

Jim Groves wrote:
Ross Byers wrote:
zylphryx wrote:

Though it would be interesting to run the cypher through the various core books based on the relative "age" of the gods listed, oldest to youngest to correspond to the core book number in sequence of publication.

So you would have the following gods:

Pharasma - The Bone Lands in a Spiral
Lamashtu - The Skull of Mashaag
Sarenrae - The Birth of Light and Truth
Desna - The Eight Scrolls
Abadar - The Order of Numbers
Calistria - The Book of Joy (Shelyn's is Melodies of Inner Beauty)
??? - Our Master's Book (I'm thinking Aroden ... based off the line "since our master left" ... which would make the title History and Future of Humanity)

I'm not sure your ordering is right. We have no reliable way of dating the non-ascended Gods.
No.. But you just made me think of something Ross. The gods are also used as the names of the month

There is some kind of order to those book names too. It looks like the book names roughly correspond to the first number in each set of numbers.

Paizo Employee Developer

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I got a PM from someone who seems to have cracked it, but I'll let that poster submit his or her theory publicly. I'm as intrigued by this as anyone else, but so far the best shot at cracking the code seems to be kept to my inbox.

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

This is getting interesting. People are PMing you, Mark?

EDIT: K, I kinda wanna take a crack at this. Guess I'll try tonight.

Contributor, RPG Superstar 2010 Top 4

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Mark Moreland wrote:
I got a PM from someone who seems to have cracked it, but I'll let that poster submit his or her theory publicly. I'm as intrigued by this as anyone else, but so far the best shot at cracking the code seems to be kept to my inbox.

I got a similar message, but I am abstaining as well. This pretty cool though. I'm tempted to follow the instructions but I'm too busy right now (plus I would be cheating off someone else's answer).


Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

I'm the one that sent those PMs last night. I think I might've cracked it.

Ignore the Holy Book references,as I believe they are there as a distraction AND a reference to the upcoming Inner Sea Gods book, but mostly a reference.

Then you'll just have the Page:Line:Word. I used the 5th Printing CRB PDF to decode it.

Grand Lodge

I saw Jim's post in the conspiracy thread, and I posted this there. I may have a solution.

At first I thought that "Page:Line:Word" was right, but according to Amazon the Inner Sea Gods book is only 300 pages long. One of the references is "339". It's certainly possible the page count is wrong on Amazon. If the book is 339 pages or longer, than "page:line:word" is probably the correct cypher.

If not, maybe this will work:

Jim Groves wrote:

This appears to be a book code.

All the titles mean something. Each are some sort of holy book, text, or device through which holy scripture is delivered.

The numbers are important. Forum poster Zylphryx had a good observation. He suggested a book code that follows the format: page, line and word.. But I have been unable to get it to work right.

It does look like a book cypher, since all the books are in-game holy books for the various gods and the Inner Sea Gods hardcover is coming out soon. With a book cypher you have to assume everyone has the same book (holy books are great for this, since they are commonly found and reproducing them exactly tends to be a matter of faith for people. Just about guaranteed the same word will appear in the same place in multiple copies). Obviously the "meta" book is the Inner Sea Gods book, since I doubt Paizo will print a reproduction of Abadar's holy book and it's good marketing to encourage us all to run out and buy a copy. Not that we weren't going to already....

Cypher wrote:


Skull of Mashaag 247:1:1
The Bone Lands in a Spiral 43: 13: 7
The Order of Numbers 9: 22: 8
Our Master's Book 192:4:4
The Bone Lands in a Spiral 63: 8: 10
The Book of Joy 19: 19: 4
The Birth of Light and Truth 139:18:3
Skull of Mashaag 247:1:1
The Skull of Mashaag 224: 39: 1
The Order of Numbers 8: 31: 9
The Order of Numbers 15:2:4
The Eight Scrolls 117: 34: 1
The Skull of Mashaag 339: 12: 10
The Skull of Mashaag 238:35: 7
The Birth of Light and Truth 162: 36: 3
The Skull of Mashaag 224: 39: 1

The first part is a holy book for one of the gods. So this refers to the chapter in Inner Sea Gods. I've added zeroes to even out the rest of the numbers.

LAM 247: 01: 01
PHA 043: 13: 07
ABA 009: 22: 08
??? 192: 04: 04
PHA 063: 08: 10
CAL 019: 19: 04
SAR 139: 18: 03
LAM 247: 01: 01
LAM 224: 39: 01
ABA 008: 31: 09
ABA 015: 02: 04
DES 117: 34: 01
LAM 339: 12: 10
LAM 238: 35: 07
SAR 162: 36: 03
LAM 224: 39: 01

The first number ranges from 8 - 339. A very wide range.
The second ranges from 1-39.
The third ranges from 1-10.

The first number, being the largest, is probably the starting word. So "Skull of Mashaag 247" means "Go to the 247th word of the Lamashtu chapter."

The second and third numbers are a bit trickier, since we don't know how the chapters in Inner Sea Gods are set up. Thirty-nine is a reasonable ballpark paragraph length, and 10 or less seems like a good ballpark for word length.

My guess (and this is a total shot in the dark) is that each of those words will be the first word in a paragraph. That would make the second number the specific word within that paragraph, and the third number a reference to the specific letter in that word.

That would make "The Order of Numbers 9: 22: 8" a code meaning "The eight letter of the twenty-second word of the paragraph starting at the ninth word of the Abadar chapter".

Which would make the solution a single word, or sequence of words (omit spaces & punctuation), that is sixteen characters long.

Normally I would assume that this is just gibberish by an overachieving troll. BUT Jim Groves mentioned that James Jacobs posted a riddle poem that foreshadowed Reign of Winter (I haven't seen it, anyone have a link?) so I figured it was at least worth a crack.

There's basically no way to solve it until Inner Sea Gods comes out, though. At that point it should be easy to crack. That's the problem with book cyphers. If you don't know the book, it's basically impossible. But once you have the book cracking becomes super easy.

EDIT: I forgot to mention. The "our master's book" is probably a clue too. It doesn't tell you the chapter, but if this is giving us letters than it may be possible to back-track the god from guessing the letter (once you have the rest it should be easy).

I'd say Asmodeus, Zon-Kuthon, Urgathoa, and Norgorber are top contenders ... but I also wouldn't count out Nethys.

In fact, Nethys is my current favorite. The "master" who "left" could be Nex. The holy book for Nethys is "The Book of Magic" and different churches of Nethys use different versions of that book.

So "Our Master's Book" would be the specific variation of The Book of Magic preferred by Nex.

I mean, it's about time for a Nex/Geb AP. Right?

Sovereign Court

Translated the code (as have others apparently) ... and that's all I have have to say about that. ;)

Have fun folks ... and to the code creator, I am intrigued. ;)


Here's some thoughts:

Based off the first number:

LAM: 247, 247, 224, 339, 238, 224
PHA: 043, 063
ABA: 009, 008, 015
???: 192
CAL: 019
SAR: 139, 162
DES: 117

Of note, no number for one god is found within the range of another god. If we divide 300 pages by 20 gods, we see that each god gets 15 pages--thereabouts. (Okay, it's 320 pages, so 16 pages, good for a spread). Also, the Abadar numbers are the lowest, and chances of Abadar appearing first in any book is good.

BUT... The Pharasma numbers are 20 apart, and the Sarenrae numbers are 23 apart, and the Lamashtu numbers are 115 apart! But 339 doesn't correspond to any page number in any published book, except the Core Rulebook--the hardcovers are limited to 320 pages, otherwise. So, either the Skull of Mashaag refers to the Core Rulebook, or 339 is in error. If 339 is actually 239, then the range of Lamashtu numbers drops to 23 as well.

Also of note: The first code is LAM 247:1:1. If it's the first word on the first paragraph/sentence/whatever, and the first word of the phrase, and repeated a second time within 16 words, then chances are very high that the word is The. Note that the word immediately after the second LAM 247:1:1 is LAM 224:39:1, which is also the last word of sixteen.

Now it could be that, but here's another thing it could be: Words 1 and 8 are the same; words 9 and 16 are the same. There might be some poetic symmetry happening here. Once we get our hands on Inner Sea Gods, we will find out.

Oh, and be sure to drink your Ovaltine.

Scarab Sages

Harrowed Wizard wrote:

I'm the one that sent those PMs last night. I think I might've cracked it.

Ignore the Holy Book references,as I believe they are there as a distraction AND a reference to the upcoming Inner Sea Gods book, but mostly a reference.

Then you'll just have the Page:Line:Word. I used the 5th Printing CRB PDF to decode it.

I have 3 lines that don't make any sense using this method, particularly:

9:22:8 to 192:4:4 is pronoun/pronoun
63:8:10 doesn't feel right with 192:4:4's double pronounage

The last 3 lines are clear as a bell, but with the goofiness I have up top 3 prior to the last 3 seem odd as well...

Sovereign Court

archmagi1 wrote:

I have 3 lines that don't make any sense using this method, particularly:

9:22:8 to 192:4:4 is pronoun/pronoun

I think your count was off somewhere ...

archmagi1 wrote:


63:8:10 doesn't feel right with 192:4:4's double pronounage

Find the error and all will be made clear ...

Scarab Sages

oh wow, totally didn't count "The Most Important Rule" as a line. added 2 periods in there, boom. Now what does it MEAN?

Sovereign Court

well that's the trick, now isn't it? ;)

Scarab Sages

I have a few theories from a cursory search of trigger words amongst the site, pathfinderwiki, and ISWG, but they're only loosely collected ideas based off of mostly circumstantial references. Maybe an AP tease or a Campaign Setting book tease, or even a novel tease.

What was the context of the actual chat when the cryptic was posted?


Harrowed Wizard wrote:

I'm the one that sent those PMs last night. I think I might've cracked it.

Ignore the Holy Book references,as I believe they are there as a distraction AND a reference to the upcoming Inner Sea Gods book, but mostly a reference.

Then you'll just have the Page:Line:Word. I used the 5th Printing CRB PDF to decode it.

This seems to be the most simple answer.

SKR as the Master-that-has-left also seems likely.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

{blows dust off book} Ah, my old Gob Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Cankle Gnawler, Goblin coloring book. Let's see...

Spoiler:
Skull of Mashaag 247:1:1 = Sunwrought
The Bone Lands in a Spiral 43: 13: 7 = Festival
The Order of Numbers 9: 22: 8 = In
Our Master's Book 192:4:4 = Kuthona
The Bone Lands in a Spiral 63: 8: 10 = Illuminated
The Book of Joy 19: 19: 4 = Leg
The Birth of Light and Truth 139:18:3 = Fragile
Skull of Mashaag 247:1:1 = Rouge
The Skull of Mashaag 224: 39: 1 = Ryder
The Order of Numbers 8: 31: 9 = Musket
The Order of Numbers 15:2:4 = Lose
The Eight Scrolls 117: 34: 1 = An
The Skull of Mashaag 339: 12: 10 = Eye
The Skull of Mashaag 238:35: 7 = Drink
The Birth of Light and Truth 162: 36: 3 = Your
The Skull of Mashaag 224: 39: 1 = Cosmotine!

Wut?! AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!! I blame this colossal waste of time on COSMO!!!

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

Translated. And now I vanish. :D

Liberty's Edge

Also translated. But the last line, who should receive it?

*Ravenblack is confused*

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber
Ravenblack wrote:

Also translated. But the last line, who should receive it?

*Ravenblack is confused*

The recipient's name is in the message. I can't give any more away without giving it all away. :)


1 person marked this as a favorite.

I don't have access to my core book, nor can I download a copy where I am at the moment. Can someone throw me a bone and PM me a copy of the translation? It's doing my head in wondering what it's about.


Huh. So I guess the translation I made last night with the Core Rulebook is correct (even if some of it doesn't seem quite right- perhaps it's because I have a 4th printing, not a 5th).

If the hints I'm seeing here are hinting at what I think, then the person I suspected might have sent this is indeed the one I thought it was. I think.


I'm with Tinkergoth

Liberty's Edge

2 people marked this as a favorite.

This is Paizo's first creepypasta! Everyone who posts on this thread dies mysteriousURGGGHH!!!


Any chance I can get a PM about it? Too sick for code breaking today :(


Why all the PMs? Why can't someone post it here? Will we all die within 24hrs of reading it?

Kill esoterrorcists.

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