Imbicatus |
I was mostly joking.
But ... is it really your contention that ...
** spoiler omitted **
Velcro Zipper |
4. The superhero ages at a rate reflective of his series run. After 50 years on the shelves, having noticeably aged into his early 70s, the hero bequeathes his mantle to a worthy successor. The hero continues to appear as a mentor and occasional savior before dying peacefully in his sleep after 75 years of appearing in comics.
5. The superhero stays dead.
6. The superhero discovers scientific research in the real world has summarily disproven everything readers have learned over the past 50 years about how his powers work. The hero's powers immediately cease to function, and he is forced to realize he has been wandering the streets as a filthy, schizophrenic, public menace ever since he suffered a nervous breakdown brought on by severe arachnophobia or perhaps abandonment by his parents who he previously believed died when his home planet exploded.
7. The superhero adopts a cat from the pound. The cat has no super powers and isn't a shape-shifted alien or an alien that just happens to look like a cat. Sometimes it's kind of a pain in the ass, but it's just a cat.
8. The superhero encounters a large number of people cosplaying as her at a convention. Some of the people are overweight, middle-aged men. After spending some time blending in with the crowd and listening to the cosplayers' angsty whining and/or shrill, irritating attempts to mimic her catchphrase and voice, the superhero flies home, pours herself a drink and seriously re-evaluates her life choices. The following day she enrolls in a course to become a real estate agent after setting her costume to fire.
Velcro Zipper |
9. The superhero and every other established, named and recognizable supporting character is killed by an unseen assailant on the first page, first panel of the issue. The second panel contains only the words, "Dear fan of *name of superhero,* The cover of this comic book has been treated with a highly toxic, fast-acting contact poison, which will cause your internal organs to explode from your rectum if you haven't discovered who just killed everyone by the time you reach the end of this comic. Pay close attention to the story within and keep an eye out for clues. Your life depends on it." The second to last page has just one panel asking the reader if they've discovered the identity of the killer. The final page of the comic has a reflective foil mirror attached to it with the words, "It was you!!!" written underneath it.