You know you're in trouble when you get to the table and...


Pathfinder Society

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2/5

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...the venture captain asks you to go find him coffee.

(Referencing an old "Venture Captain Simulator" thread that resurfaced recently.)

Grand Lodge

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Jason Hanlon wrote:

...the venture captain asks you to go find him coffee.

(Referencing an old "Venture Captain Simulator" thread that resurfaced recently.)

And that Venture Captain is Drandle Dreng.

Grand Lodge 3/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Ms. Pleiades wrote:
Jason Hanlon wrote:

...the venture captain asks you to go find him coffee.

(Referencing an old "Venture Captain Simulator" thread that resurfaced recently.)

And that Venture Captain is Drandle Dreng.

Why must he wake me at night, after a hard day's work at my inn?

The party consists of nothing but sorcerers specializing in creating pits.....

Grand Lodge 4/5 5/55/5 ** Venture-Lieutenant, Florida—Melbourne

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Robert Harvey 863 wrote:
When the gm ask how is everyone's swim skill, and it's not water we are swiming through.

True. Sometimes you are trying to open a door.

Grand Lodge 3/5

trollbill wrote:
Robert Harvey 863 wrote:
When the gm ask how is everyone's swim skill, and it's not water we are swiming through.
True. Sometimes you are trying to open a door.

Oi! I 'member tha' one!

2/5

The Door that will Live in Infamy.

Sovereign Court 4/5

6 people marked this as a favorite.
Jason Hanlon wrote:

...the venture captain asks you to go find him coffee.

(Referencing an old "Venture Captain Simulator" thread that resurfaced recently.)

Sheila Heidmarch just asked us to carry some boxes with golems in them for her. Whew! I was really worried we'd have to do something dangerous today. Dodged that bullet.

Scarab Sages 4/5 5/55/5 **

Magic Princess Warrior Vanessa wrote:
Jason Hanlon wrote:

...the venture captain asks you to go find him coffee.

(Referencing an old "Venture Captain Simulator" thread that resurfaced recently.)

Sheila Heidmarch just asked us to carry some boxes with golems in them for her. Whew! I was really worried we'd have to do something dangerous today. Dodged that bullet.

Sheila Heidmarch asked me to infiltrate an evil cult for her. Little did she know, I LOVE evil cults.

Shadow Lodge *

3 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

The GM lays out a map with a pretty seven-pointed star on it.

Grand Lodge 4/5

pH unbalanced wrote:
The GM lays out a map with a pretty seven-pointed star on it.

And the map has a pretty gold triangle on it.


There are no snacks on the table, and the fridge is equally empty.


When the GM is stealing ideas out of the BECAUSE YOU'RE THE GM thread

Sovereign Court 5/5 5/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.

The only two characters in tier for a 6-7 playing-up scenario are casting magic missile as their go-to spell of choice.

2/5

You show up five minutes early, twenty minutes before the DM does, and thirty five minutes before any other players all at the same time.

5/5 *****

Mike Bohlmann wrote:
The only two characters in tier for a 6-7 playing-up scenario are casting magic missile as their go-to spell of choice.

Ouch, sorry, if had known I would have advised finding a way to play down.

5/5 5/55/55/5

Mike Bohlmann wrote:
The only two characters in tier for a 6-7 playing-up scenario are casting magic missile as their go-to spell of choice.

wince.. i've seen that a few times.

Grand Lodge 4/5

Mike Bohlmann wrote:
The only two characters in tier for a 6-7 playing-up scenario are casting magic missile as their go-to spell of choice.

I'm assuming that's without metamagic? Because you can do some rather silly things with metamagic enhanced magic missiles.

5/5 *****

Jeff Merola wrote:
Mike Bohlmann wrote:
The only two characters in tier for a 6-7 playing-up scenario are casting magic missile as their go-to spell of choice.
I'm assuming that's without metamagic? Because you can do some rather silly things with metamagic enhanced magic missiles.

There was the occasional application of toppling spell by the mystic theurge but otherwise that was it. I was rather concerned when the level 7 sorcerers first action in the first fight was to cast acid splash...

4/5

andreww wrote:
mystic theurge

That explains everything.

5/5 *****

Game Master wrote:
andreww wrote:
mystic theurge
That explains everything.

Not really, the two in tier characters were a Cleric2/Sorc1/MT3 and a Sorcerer 7.

Grand Lodge

andreww wrote:
Jeff Merola wrote:
Mike Bohlmann wrote:
The only two characters in tier for a 6-7 playing-up scenario are casting magic missile as their go-to spell of choice.
I'm assuming that's without metamagic? Because you can do some rather silly things with metamagic enhanced magic missiles.
There was the occasional application of toppling spell by the mystic theurge but otherwise that was it. I was rather concerned when the level 7 sorcerers first action in the first fight was to cast acid splash...

I'm surprised that a level 7 has been through so little/been carried so much that they think they can get away with magic missiling and acid splashing everything.

5/5 *****

Kurthnaga wrote:
andreww wrote:
Jeff Merola wrote:
Mike Bohlmann wrote:
The only two characters in tier for a 6-7 playing-up scenario are casting magic missile as their go-to spell of choice.
I'm assuming that's without metamagic? Because you can do some rather silly things with metamagic enhanced magic missiles.
There was the occasional application of toppling spell by the mystic theurge but otherwise that was it. I was rather concerned when the level 7 sorcerers first action in the first fight was to cast acid splash...
I'm surprised that a level 7 has been through so little/been carried so much that they think they can get away with magic missiling and acid splashing everything.

If you play a lot of 1-5 at the upper end with the occasional 1-7 or 3-7 low-mid tier you can probably get away with it but this was a full on 3-7 at high tier with a group of 5 with the 4 player adjustment. Part of the issue was that the four player adjustment for that final fight is actually pretty minimal. The bad guy loses a couple of spells but is still throwing stuff at full caster level and his minion is slightly less dangerous.

It didn't help that one character had been outright killed earlier from a 69 damage great axe crit and was carrying a negative level or that their one and only draw back from the awareness thing landed a hydra in the encounter. I even had one of the players roll, 1 in 10 chance, they roll a 10...

Grand Lodge 4/5 5/55/5 ** Venture-Lieutenant, Florida—Melbourne

andreww wrote:
Jeff Merola wrote:
Mike Bohlmann wrote:
The only two characters in tier for a 6-7 playing-up scenario are casting magic missile as their go-to spell of choice.
I'm assuming that's without metamagic? Because you can do some rather silly things with metamagic enhanced magic missiles.
There was the occasional application of toppling spell by the mystic theurge but otherwise that was it. I was rather concerned when the level 7 sorcerers first action in the first fight was to cast acid splash...

I wonder if this is the same 7th level sorceress I ran whose first action in the first fight was to cast Ray of Frost. She didn't get a second action.

The Exchange 5/5

andreww wrote:
Jeff Merola wrote:
Mike Bohlmann wrote:
The only two characters in tier for a 6-7 playing-up scenario are casting magic missile as their go-to spell of choice.
I'm assuming that's without metamagic? Because you can do some rather silly things with metamagic enhanced magic missiles.
There was the occasional application of toppling spell by the mystic theurge but otherwise that was it. I was rather concerned when the level 7 sorcerers first action in the first fight was to cast acid splash...

Saw something like this in King of the Storval Stairs - when the Wizard's go-to action in combat was Hand of the Apprentice - without even Point Blank Shot (no boosters of any kind). Yeap, the 9th level wizard's actions had a damage output of 1d6 (club), if he hiit, and with a range of 30'.

5/5 5/55/55/5

2 people marked this as a favorite.

"Reading the module before hand is cheating!

"... not for the dm!

Scarab Sages 5/5

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Your table is stalled because half the players are responding to the "you know you're in trouble when you get to the table and..." thread.

Sovereign Court 5/5 5/5

Jeff Merola wrote:
Mike Bohlmann wrote:
The only two characters in tier for a 6-7 playing-up scenario are casting magic missile as their go-to spell of choice.
I'm assuming that's without metamagic? Because you can do some rather silly things with metamagic enhanced magic missiles.

Agree, but that's in support of other good melee characters. We had one out-of-tier melee character (mine) that was a Dirty Trick build (which I stated before we started).

I should really correct my statement though because I didn't learn that these casters had magic missile as their main schtick. "You know you're in trouble when you are in the first around of combat and..."

Grand Lodge 4/5

... and the Barbarian charges an intelligent enemy, who is not flatfooted, with Reach....

Dark Archive 5/5 5/55/5 **

After my game yesterday I would say the Lv2 uplaying character decides to buff himself offensively and says I can ignore these little Aoos and used Actions to lower his AC...

Grand Lodge

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...and your "frontliners" are an Elf Rogue with 6 Con, and a Gnome Fighter, who maxed Intelligence, dumped strength, and fights with a Warhammer, along with a Half-Elf Sorcerer, who loves to go into melee.

Oh, and they all ask the Warpriest to stay back, and heal, because, "that's what Clerics do".

Silver Crusade 5/5 5/55/5 **** Venture-Captain, Germany—Bavaria

Alexander Lenz wrote:
After my game yesterday I would say the Lv2 up playing character decides to buff himself offensively and says I can ignore these little AoOs and used Actions to lower his AC...

Even though the scenario managed to kick him into the negatives (well lowering his AC by 4 really did not help), I am pretty sure, that this player bathes his dice in the blood of unholy virgin kittens... still I think my suggestion of using his action (while on two HP, standing next to the Boss(I still stand by my suggestion, that Full Defense would have been the right call... but if course he attacks and crits the enemy leader into the negatives).

Grand Lodge 3/5

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Sebastian Hirsch wrote:
Alexander Lenz wrote:
After my game yesterday I would say the Lv2 up playing character decides to buff himself offensively and says I can ignore these little AoOs and used Actions to lower his AC...
Even though the scenario managed to kick him into the negatives (well lowering his AC by 4 really did not help), I am pretty sure, that this player bathes his dice in the blood of unholy virgin kittens... still I think my suggestion of using his action (while on two HP, standing next to the Boss(I still stand by my suggestion, that Full Defense would have been the right call... but if course he attacks and crits the enemy leader into the negatives).

When yer in the big bad's face, keep smashing while screaming PRAISE GORUM!

Oddly enough, it seems to work well for me.

Shadow Lodge 4/5

Destiny favors the bold!

Except when it doesn't...

Grand Lodge 3/5

Still haven't died yet! Bwahahahahaha!

I tend to get more in trouble when I try to be smart about things on Arthus...

Grand Lodge

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When the dungeon seems to have an unusual amount of very terrified-looking statues...

4/5

When three people don't show up for the Golemworks Incident because it's Easter, and you run it with three players and a Kyra.

Related: Reluctantly got my first TPK last weekend.


3 people marked this as a favorite.

When it turns out the Barbarian is the healer of the party and the cleric is the rogue of the group.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

When every single person simultainiously asks the GM if they can pick the pockets of the entire group and run for it.

Sovereign Court 4/5 5/5 *

Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Maps, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
Jiggy wrote:
Jason Hanlon wrote:
The Morphling wrote:
...the phrase "I've got a wand" is said after someone asks "Do we have a healer?"
This has happened. In a 7-9 scenario no less. *Shudder*
Uh, this happens all the time where I play. It's never a problem; rather, it's the norm. Having an actual healer is pretty rare, in fact.

It's why I have a pretty high percentage of healers in my PC list, including non-PFS ones. When I joined PFS I find I play the healer more than anything else.

Can also lead to being mobbed at queue for cons.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

"You know you're in trouble when you get to the table and..."

Each of the players at the table have a slave and they are going to be working for an NPC that is part of Liberty's Edge this evening.

Grand Lodge 3/5

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I prefer the term, indentured servitude. Besides, if they don't sign my contract, I couldn't guarantee their safety from the other members of my group. Now, my currently one servant, lives in my summertime mansion, occasionally doing errands for me, with no one to chastise him for being a goblin!


When everyone is toting a 5e player's handbook and looking confused at the PF GM screen.

When it is five minutes before the session and people are frantically scribbling on character sheets.

Scarab Sages

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You go through character introductions and you realize your unchained rogue and the pregen hunter's wolf companion are the only melee builds at the table.

4/5

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"Diplo-what?"

4/5

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When the strongest "Diplomacy" at the table is the name of someone's sword...

Grand Lodge 4/5 5/55/5 ** Venture-Lieutenant, Florida—Melbourne

Game Master wrote:
When the strongest "Diplomacy" at the table is the name of someone's sword...

Close. My dwarf barbarian named his dwarven longhammer "Diplomacy."

Grand Lodge 4/5 5/5

Imbicatus wrote:

You go through character introductions and you realize your unchained rogue and the pregen hunter's wolf companion are the only melee builds at the table.

And the GM asks can the wolf climb down ladders

The Exchange 2/5

trollbill wrote:
Game Master wrote:
When the strongest "Diplomacy" at the table is the name of someone's sword...
Close. My dwarf barbarian named his dwarven longhammer "Diplomacy."

Aye. Fer me, it's me axe.

5/5 5/55/55/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Merisal The Risen wrote:
Imbicatus wrote:

You go through character introductions and you realize your unchained rogue and the pregen hunter's wolf companion are the only melee builds at the table.

And the GM asks can the wolf climb down ladders

at 32 feet per second per second...

Shadow Lodge 4/5

...and you're going to melee with a Protege Sylph while playing up in season 6.

Bring it!

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