How would you handle this monthly group situation?


Pathfinder First Edition General Discussion


While I have two weekly Pathfinder games (Monday and Thursday nights), neither group meets too consistently (a 60% meet chance, I'd say), and the Thursday group barely squeezes two hours of play time in when it does meet. I wanted a new fix, and a once a month group seemed the best solution. I had a group of gaming friends who were currently not meeting regularly due to their busy and hectic schedules, but were interested in meeting occasionally. An idea was born. And problems immediately emerged.

The idea was a Facebook page where the five members would discuss several weeks in advance what the best day of the month to meet would be. We'd try to stick to a Saturday or Sunday afternoon, and we'd try to play for a solid 6-8 hours. With at least a couple of weeks notice before we made an attempt to meet on a given day, we thought we could avoid conflicts.

The first session went alright. People were responsive to the page, and communicated their schedules. One guy, let's call him Jerry (name changed to protect no one, really), was about an hour late, and had forgotten all of his gaming supplies. He lived half an hour away, and the round trip wasn't worth it, so he had to start the campaign trying to remember what was on his character sheet. Not a big deal, we worked it out, spare dice and all, and everyone had a good time.

The second session was tougher to schedule. Two of the players are twins (Let's call them John and Jim). One of the twins (Jim) is both a high school drama teacher and a member of the National Guard. His weekends are almost always full. Scheduling was tough, but we finally worked out a day. Everyone showed up on time, except Jerry, who I was informed had to work late that day. Apparently he has no control over his work schedule, and they don't always give him a lot of notice. I think he works in retail, but he's a friend of John's, and I didn't know him beforehand. So, we go ahead and get started a man short. I use some NPCs to help out, and the session goes great. Jerry never shows up. We call him a few times, and get no answer, even several hours after he was supposed to be off work. The session ends and everyone goes home with no word from Jerry. I start looking for a replacement player immediately. A few days later I get contacted by John and he tells me that Jerry had to drive half an hour home to get his gaming stuff, and he took a nap when he got home, and didn't wake up until after the session had ended.

This is ridiculous to me. Knowing that you were working, and that you were already going to be late, why not bring you gaming stuff with you to work, leave it in the car so you can hurry over afterwards and not miss more of the session? And knowing that you were already running over an hour late, why would you think it's ok to take a short nap? We schedule these things once a month so these situations don't happen, and I drive an hour back to my home town to game with these guys, something I'm willing to do because we only meet once a month.

But John assures me that Jerry really wants to play, and that we should give him another shot. Even though I had already found a replacement for Jerry, a much more reliable ex-roommate of mine (let's call him Spock), I decided to give Jerry the benefit of the doubt.

So we start discussing our third meeting. This time, because my wife is nine months pregnant and I don't want to be that far from home, everyone agrees to carpool up to my place for a day. We set a date three weeks in advance, and, despite not hearing from Jim, John assures me that Jim is available on that date. The date in question is a Sunday afternoon. Well, the day before our scheduled game day, and John informs me that Jim has got a drill that weekend, and won't be able to make it. And then Jerry chimes in and says he's scheduled to work, but he gets off at 6 PM, and even though we talked about meeting at 1 PM, he'd drive up and join us by 7:30 at the latest (there was no chance we were going to be playing past 9 PM, and I wasn't even sure we'd make it to 7 PM).

Well, that's the last straw for me. Jerry is an unreliable player, and needs to find a group that works better for his schedule because, unlike the rest of us, he works every weekend. Jim had three weeks to let us know that the day we picked didn't work for him, and, having some military service myself, I know drill weekends are announced months in advance. And because of Jim's busy schedule, he really limits us to only one or two days a month where he's available, and we had better hope we don't have conflicting plans. I had already bought snacks and did all my pre-game prepwork (drawing maps, reviewing encounters, getting minis ready, etc). I definitely want to make this weekend work. I tell John and Santa Claus (the 4th guy, name changed again) that we can get a fresh start with a new group. I tell them that if they're serious about gaming, we can pull in Spock and another friend of mine (Frodo). They agree.

Unfortunately, the next day rolls around, and there's a snow storm, so John and Santa don't make the drive up the mountain. Spock, who lives in the same area as John and Santa, does brave the weather, and when I call him to tell him John and Santa aren't driving up, he tells me he got an early start and he's more than halfway here. Frodo comes over as well, as he lives up here with me. So now Frodo, Spock, and I hang out for the afternoon, play some board games, and talk a lot about how awesome this new Pathfinder group is going to be for next month's session when John and Santa can meet again. I think all is right in the world, minus a month without gaming with this particular group.

Well, the next day, John tells me that he really wants Jim to be able to play, and even though we're only two sessions into our first campaign, he really likes it and his character, and doesn't want to start a new campaign. Santa agrees, and the two start talking on Facebook about getting together with Jim, and just adding Spock to the group, dropping Jerry. But Frodo is now super excited about joining our group. And I'm again worried about how non-communicative Jim is, and if we'll be able to reliably schedule anything with his packed weekends. And I don't want to run with five players, especially because I've already GMed this AP (Serpent's Skull) with Frodo as a player, and he absolutely hated it, which is why the fresh start and a new campaign was necessary. What should I do? I see several options:

1. Forget Frodo and try to run Serpent Skull with Jim, John, Santa, and Spock.
2. Forget John and Jim (the twins), and run a new AP with Santa, Spock, Frodo, and Samwise (Frodo's college aged brother).
3. Forget the entire thing and allow Jim, John, and Santa to work something out in their hometown, and try to organize something with Frodo and Samwise which would include Spock.

I know this was a lot of TL:DR, but I'm looking for genuine, non-biased feedback, and the more information I provide, the better the genuine feedback will be.

Liberty's Edge

When I DM home games, I always try to schedule at least one more player than the minimum needed ( in the event one player cannot show up ).Games are almost always on a Saturday or Sunday. I also let one or two players use a henchman character. At the end of a session, I ask the group for the next meeting date (Saturday or Sunday) which would be most convienient for them and me. If there is no clear consensus, I schedule the game on the basis of the availability of the most reliable player. I never expect perfect attendance, since real life can get in the way; but nevertheless the game goes on.


you're getting tooled. First off, when you get down to the "what's your schedule like" game, of course everyone's going to be different. And, of course they're all going to say yea to some magically nebulous date in the far future. second, if someone's not communicating, it's because they're nowhere near as committed as you are. I would take that as a sure signal to count him out on gaming. It doesn't take much to plan ahead, like you said.

You're best bet is to harden up about dates, draw a calendar up if you have to and lock into that schedule. a regular thrust will be easier to remember and stick to. Get everyone together, and don't rely on anyone to show. Have a backup game (alternative quests that may tie in or give an extra boon to regular players) if you can't fill out ranks. It's important to keep your and your friend's morale up about the game, so treating a missing person(s) situation as a calamity can be just as destructive. Knowing that showing up isn't going to be a downer can be as big an incentive as the game itself.

Know when to give in too. If this keeps up, it isn't going to happen. Keep your ear to the ground for alternative players to replace the one's you have a problem with and get them going right away. There's nothing quite like a kick in the fork when you show up late, unprepared, and 30 minutes to close, and the group's just moved on without you. Run about 5 or 6 people, and you should have a guaranteed showing to keep the game going.


I have a game that runs fairly regularly, once fortnightly. Everyone should know when it is, and plenty of notice is given. We still get people cancelling at the last minute- often after I have already prepared the food and the game.

House rules have been implemented.

A copy of your character sheet must be left, and if you can't make it the party or I will play your character according to how you've been playing it to date. While no one will be allowed to screw over your character, it's unlikely to be the focus of great activity either. You're a level 4? Tough, you've only left your level 2 sheet so that's the one we'll be using. Likewise, turn up without one and I'll hand you the most recent one I have for you to play. With or without levels, loot or boons.

If you miss three consecutive sessions (bearing in mind sessions can be rescheduled with enough notice) your character becomes an NPC. Show up and you'll be welcome to play it, but it becomes part of the wider narrative.

What does that do? It gives the wavering players the nudge either in or out- it is their choice which way, but other people shouldn't have to wait an hour before play on the off chance that someone may turn up late.


I agree with Shadowmage. You can't continue to let those who are really keen be dictated to by those who drop by if they've got nothing better to do. Organise a game with the guys you know are reliable, tell the others what date you're playing, and if they want to show that's up to them. I have six in my gaming group, but it's rare that they all make it. I make it clear that if we have at least me and two players, it's going ahead regardless of the consequence. I'll run a missing player's character for a couple of sessions as an npc, but three missed sessions means they're left behind at the earliest opportunity.


Ok, that's pretty much what I thought. I agree with Shadowmage about players not being as invested as others, and I shouldn't allow that to hold the group back.

I also like foolhardy's suggestion of a house rule on character sheets and NPCs. In the past I've given players a choice: if they allow someone else to run their character or allow me to run it as an NPC for the session, the character will get a full share of the experience points, but still has the potential to die in combat encounters. If that character is going to be sidelined for a session, then there will be no experience points awarded to the character, but at least he's immune to the random TPK that might crop up.

In the past I've also had a policy regarding attendance. If 75% of the group is present, we're going ahead. If you fall below 75% attendance, you get dropped from the group unless you've got a really good reason.


I used to have a rule that said if you didn't give me at least 24 hours advance notice of a good reason you couldn't make the session (we played every 2 weeks) that you got half experience for the night. If this happened 2 sessions in a row you came down with DM's Disease (your character turned purple and became comatose) and it was a fatal disease if it happened a third session. I never lost anyone to DM's Disease but I had a few PCs contract it over the years back when we were in our 20's and easily distracted by other stuff. We would have another player roll dice for the missing player for the 1 session and I would roleplay them if necessary.

Liberty's Edge

Our game is pretty straight forward as far as attendance. We all agreed that in order for us to play, everyone must attend.

As a new GM, I have told my players that I need a little extra prep time before sessions. Because of this, I want to know at least three days in advance whether people will be able to play (I don't want to spend a lot of time prepping when there is no game). If one person cannot play or does not respond to the game invite emails, then they understand that there is no Pathfinder (but we sometimes play other stuff instead).

So far, I have cancelled one session because one player never responded. At the next session, he said the reason he didn't reply was because 'he didn't think he needed to'...but the emails were pretty clear in that they said 'let me know if you can attend and what date/time works for you'.

Interestingly enough, we are supposed to have a game this weekend and everyone has replied to the invite email except that same player. At this point, I have to consider kicking him from the game.

I can be very understanding if the player just lets the group know that he cannot play due to XXX or he is not sure yet because of YYY. Real life can sometimes throw curve balls and you should always take care of real life before gaming.

...but I don't have much patience when someone is so inconsiderate that they just leave everyone in the dark.


RedDog: You might have a player like mine. We were using Facebook to communicate via a private group thing. Our discussion on our next session began on December 16th. Two players, Jon and Santa, are very active and involved in the conversations, and it's easy to schedule a date talking to them. In his first post, Santa listed every Saturday and Sunday, and the days that didn't work for him, narrowing it down. Jon replied and said that he was free all those days. We settled on the 5th of January (my first child was due to be born on the 15th, so this seemed the day with the least potential conflicts). In the three week period of time between the start of the conversation, and the 5th of January, Jim didn't chime in once. Jon mentioned that he'd try to get in contact with Jim, his twin brother, back on the 16th, but it never happened, and it wasn't until the 4th of January that Jon came back on to let us know that Jim had drill.

On the plus side, Jerry said any of those days would work for him early in the conversation, as long as we were ok if he showed up after work. I didn't realize he worked 5 1/2 hours into our play period, which is why he has left the group, not because he was a bad player, but because he deserves to find a game that works with his schedule.

If one player consistently makes you miss a game, I say the group doesn't work for him. Real life should take priority, which is why we look at schedules ahead of time. However, "real life" can't always take priority. Sometimes that's silly thinking.

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