I have a paladin concept that I've made but I can't seem to find a God that would be fitting. I was thinking about how paladins may be the most heavily stereotype class in existence and I wanted to put a twist on the paladin from a personality standpoint. Most paladins you run into tend to be those sort of Type A charging go-getter optimist. So what if you had a paladin who was morose and more resigned to the hopeless cause of good. I've decided to make him a Tiefling to add that extra dimension of conflicted, self-loathing and the suicidal trait to boot. Personality-wise, I sort of want to play him as an Eeyore with the sort interaction like, 'Maybe the rest of you should flee for surely this evil will overwhelm us all and I'll stay here and die to perhaps buy you an extra minute or two to run'.
The problem is most of the LG gods seem to be all gung-ho and smite the evil doer. I can't see this guy fitting in anywhere. Can you even believe in laws and goodness and embody them if deep in your heart you believe chaos and evil is consuming the world and your cause is hopeless?
What world are you playing in?
In Forgotten Realms, Ilmater might work. He's the god of martyrs and self-sacrifice, who suffers so others don't have to. And he's lawful good.
Remember that the god itself doesn't have to be LG, so you can also worship a NG god. Sarenrae is a pretty open goddess that can have her worship and handled in a lot of ways. You can also look into the various Empyreal Lords. Neshen is the LG god of penitence, repentance, and suffering. Ragathiel is the god of chivalry, duty, and vengeance. Vildeis is the god of devotion, sacrifice, and scars.
Also, the idea of a tiefling directly worshipping an angel is an amusing one, especially as demon-spawn tieflings are the best of the breed for paladins.
In the Chronicles of the Righteous book, there is an Angelic Empyreal Lord called Vildeis. She is a rather pessimistic, self-flagellating sort and seems to fit your character. She is the lord of Devotion, Sacrifice, and scars.
I dont remember atm, but I dont think paladins need to pick a deity.
