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Funniest PFS moments?


Roleplaying Guild General Discussion

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Since I've become increasingly frustrated with PFS games recently, why not just have a thread about the funny moments we've had in them? I mean you guys gotta have some good stories, right?

***

On Hostile Waters: We failed our checks to get the incense at one point, so I turned to the rogue and convinced her to steal it.....with no reference to when. Our GM took it as an immediate action and had her try to steal it directly from the NPC's hands. Combat was triggered.

***** Venture-Lieutenant, Finland—Tampere aka Rei

8 people marked this as a favorite.

One of my favorite PFS moments is from way back in 2009.

IC: "What a horrid waste of life! No one deserves to die in this kind of weather!" (The PCs are standing in pouring rain.)
A few seconds later, OOC: "...does the guy's armor look expensive?"

Rather recently I was GM in a game where one of the characters was attempting to attack a caged giant dire rat. I ruled that since the cage was large enough for the rat to move around in and no one else wanted anything to do with the rat slaughter, they could duel it out. After two missed blows from the PC, the rat knocked him unconscious in one hit. The table went wild.

There has also been an odd theme of hippopotamuses in the Lands of the Linnorm Kings in our local games. My druid frequently wildshapes into a behemoth hippopotamus in order to carry the party around, which is not the most conspicuous form up north, resulting in there now being several small villages in the eastern parts of that country with statues of four Pathfinders and a liger riding a huge hippopotamus. Later, we expanded this to the Trans-Varisian Hippo Express in Refuge of Time. The theme was continued by my roommate's halfling druid, whose pygmy hippopotamus was understood by locals in Trollheim to be "some sort of hairless dog".

And directly in relation to the previous anecdote, in Shades of Ice I, my quarter-orc (mechanically half-orc) Ulfen warrior woman decided the best way to get her countrymen to treat the Varisian sorcerer traveling with her better was... to pretend he was her husband, whether he agreed to it or not. (For the record, he rolled with it after the initial shock wore off.) When the tengu inquisitor and halfling druid protested about the sorcerer getting an unfair advantage for information gathering since he immediately got treated better for being an Ulfen's "trophy husband", her response was "Well, one of you isn't a mammal and the other one's too small, so this was the only way to make this work."

Liberty's Edge **

I dont know about direct out funny, In one of the first games I ran .. Frozen Fingers the party was trying to infiltrate a boathouse to recover a certain item.

Some people decided to sneak in via the sea door. I liked this idea. One character was VERY hesistant and while another character was waving him in... or was he. I used a sense motive and linguistics to see if the character could understand the hand singles. He could not (rolled a 1), so did something he thought the hand message meant. Suffice to say, it didnt end well.

Grand Lodge ***** Venture-Captain, Washington—Seattle aka Taenia

3 people marked this as a favorite.

I played a druid that turned into an air elemental and picked up a wizard and dropped him in his own Black Tentacles.

He dismissed them pretty darn quick.

Grand Lodge ** RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

5 people marked this as a favorite.

I played in a scenario that takes place largely underwater. The party included a druid capable of wildshaping into a large octopus with 9 attacks per round.

That was the most efficient bull's strength my cleric will ever cast.

Sovereign Court ***** Venture-Captain, West Virginia—Charleston aka Netopalis

6 people marked this as a favorite.

A particular faction mission involved blackmailing a noble with information regarding an affair. To get to the noble, one of my characters wildshaped into a crow and talked to the guy. As he flew away, he squawked: "CAW! Keep it in your pants! CAW!" He has since been dubbed Chastity Crow.

Silver Crusade ***

Druid: "I throw my badger at her"

Nuff said.

Silver Crusade *****

9 people marked this as a favorite.

A few months ago I was as adventuring with a pretty interesting party. I met a noble young cavalier, and we were pretty excited about being in an outdoor adventure, with high hopes of getting some mounted charges off together. A few encounters in, it started to look really promising. A long, flat beach with some nasty looking undead horse things at the opposite end. We're all set to charge in, and then suddenly notice a couple very attractive young maidens off in the water calling out to us. Who were we to refuse? I, as a noble and chaste crusader of Iomedae, merely wanted to save the two, who seemed to be in dire straights. My companion, I suspect, may have had more carnal motives in mind. So we hopped off our mounts and dove into the water to save them. A few dozen yards into the water, it hit me that these ladies didn't seem to be struggling with the water at all. In fact, they werent even ladies! They were hideous horse beasts, and they had me under some sort of enchantment! Fortunately for me, I am just as nimble encased in my hellknight armor as I am in the suit I was born in, so the water wasn't much of a problem. Unfortunately for the cavalier, his armor was not made from mithral, he was 10 ft underwater, and he was still moving toward the beasts! I glanced back towards shore and saw that our party had the situation back there well in hand, so I drew my sword and surged forward to help the cavalier. At this point, had had shrugged off the enchantment and was fighting off one of the hideous monsters, and one of our companions flew by to assist him in dispstching it with her pistols. There was still one left though, and what happened next I will never forget. Our druid onshore summoned up a shark underneath the cavalier. He grabbed on, pulled out his lance, and together they surged toward the remaining beast. They crashed together with relentless force and when it was done, the creature was impaled upon the lance and the shark was savaging what was left. The shark was soon gone, and I helped the triumphant cavalier back to shore. Although I didn't manage to complete a charge atop my own mighty steed during that mission, the cavalier succeeded so spectacularly that it wad more than good enough for the both of us.

Scarab Sages *

Seeing as I know FanaticRat, I apologize if I've frustrated him in any way.

In other news...

Night March of Kalkamedes spoiler:

There was a gnome in a magic binding circle. The party didn't trust him, so our aasimar sent his celestial animal companion to investigate.

The gnome immediately turned into a demon and held the dog ransom.

The only reason the dog lived was because said demon rolled a natural one on Sense Motive.

It was beyond hilarious.

And ever since then, that character believes that all gnomes are demons in disguise.

Grand Lodge ***** Venture-Captain, Arizona—Phoenix aka TriOmegaZero

Why did you jump in the well?

Shadow Lodge *** Venture-Captain, California—San Francisco Bay Area South & West aka JohnF

3 people marked this as a favorite.
Fromper wrote:

Druid: "I throw my badger at her"

Nuff said.

Hah!

Early on in his career, my monk happened to be adventuring alongside a witch. He was a little surprised when she handed him her octopus in the middle of combat (ugh! squishy!) and said "Throw this at that guy over there - you're a lot more accurate than I am ..."

***** Venture-Lieutenant, Washington—Kennewick aka RAdeMorris

We had a paladin fall into the sewer several times in a row finally give up on an acrobatics check and just swam to the other side and climbed up (paladin was leveled enough to be immune to disease, though the character complained that the wizard needed prestidigitation to help get the gunk off)...

*** RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

6 people marked this as a favorite.

The Cyphermage Dilemma:

While playing:
My LG cleric tried to do a Diplomacy roll to Gather Information to find the pirate hide-out. The GM (John Compton) asked me "What are you asking people?" I thought for a moment, then said "Uh... does anyone know where I can find work as a pirate?"

Some passerby was kind enough to lead me to his boss, and my party mates declined to follow me, so I was disarmed and was only able to escape by promising to assassinate a couple of low-lifes for him. When I failed to follow through, after completing the mission I awoke to find a blade at my throat, and had to talk them into giving me more time, so I could get on the boat out of Riddleport before they came looking again.

While running:
The players manage to sneak up on Mumbuckle's ship, and the rogue sneaks through one of the portholes to show up below deck. Since it was running on a skeleton crew, no one was awake down there to see him, and he went about his business.

The rest of the players try to sneak up onto the deck, and eventually are discovered. After some fighting, they've dispatched the sailors, and Mumbuckle throws his sword down. "I surrender!"

BOOM!

The ship starts listing, and the rogue's head pops up from below deck. "I did it guys! I sank the ship!" After CdG'ing the sleeping crewmates, he'd loaded the cannon, pointed it down at the floor, and lit it.

The Exchange ***

RAdeMorris wrote:
We had a paladin fall into the sewer several times in a row finally give up on an acrobatics check and just swam to the other side and climbed up (paladin was leveled enough to be immune to disease, though the character complained that the wizard needed prestidigitation to help get the gunk off)...

Reminds me of m'first time goin' Pathfinderin'. Fell in tha sewers, and m'companions were all grossed out. Ah dinnae mind, though. Gettin' smelly's good fer intimidatin' thugs.

The Exchange ****

14 people marked this as a favorite.

My heavy armor cleric can't hit the broad side of a barn. It's the -2 from the tower shield and the fact that his strength is 10... anyway, I usually don't even try.

During character introductions, as he introduces himself to each PC he says in a faux italian accent, "so, are you currently involved in a long term relationship?"... I then hand them his business card, and explain that he has the Love domain, and profession matchmaker, "Perhaps I an assist you in future relationships?" so this often leaves players speachless, but moving on, he forges ahead with the intro.

Now flash forward to the middle of a dungeon crawl and we are searching a room. My cleric is against one wall of the room, when a LARGE secret door opens to reveal a LARGE demon right beside my cleric, 5' away. The judge says - "what do you do?" and with out missing a beat I reply "I look up at the Demon and say 'so, are you currently involved in a long term relationship?'"

Yeah, great memory...

Sovereign Court **

1 person marked this as a favorite.

King Xeros of Old Azlant:

My party thought it better to consult with some experts in Absalom before boarding the creepy crystal ship that had suddenly appeared in Absalom's harbor. And sure enough, we find an expert in Azlant history and the Azlanti ether ships.

It should be noted that I was playing a half-orc barbarian who never got the chance to learn and study. So he's dumb as a brick but tries to make up for it with enthusiasm (in his career as a Pathfinder he's even learned to read!).

Anyway, this sage explains that this ship, the King Xeros, is an ether ship designed to fly through the Great Beyond and into the Ethereal plane. Realizing that my barbarian doesn't quite get his meaning he uses the metaphor of a ship that flies "in the space in between".

Sure enough that freaks out my barbarian who believes that there is this whole other reality, a gulf of "something", between him and everyone else. For the rest of the scenario he wouldn't leave his companions for fear of the "space in between" getting them.

Of course the ship had to contain ethereal creatures, that is, creatures from the in between. It also didn't helpt that he was captured by these creatures and sold into slavery... he's Andoran, and that was the second time he's been sold into slavery (by the same GM no less!).

The Exchange ****

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Green Market:

My wife runs a Pregnant Cleric (she says she's about 6 months along and that explains the DEX of 8) - and at the start of the fight in the market her first action is to Cast Bless. You see, we were trying to NOT start the fight, being told not to by the owner, and practicing non-aggression etc. and it seemed like a non-threatening spell to her... but the Aspes Agent cast the Pit spell on her. She rolled a nat 20 Reflex and avoided it (her Reflex was +2 or something).

She responded by blinding him, and someone else hit him with a 1 minute deafened effect (sonic bomb) - and things went down hill from there for him... anyway, after the fight, the A.A. is trying to talk his way out of being captured, saying that we should remove the blindness and free him 'cause we had "started it all!". My PC responds that not only had one of his guards drawn the first weapon (and first blood) HE had tried to throw a pregnant lady in a PIT! This got the (in character) response of "She was Pregnant? I thought she was just fat!"

0.0 "wow dude, I think your chances of getting that blindness spell turned off just went down."

Sovereign Court ***** RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8

3 people marked this as a favorite.

Blakros Matrimony.

Spoiler:
Dexios, my lawyer from hell, finds out one of the guests has marital issues. He walks up, says very politely, "My name is Dexios Luxan, Divorce attourney. If you ever need my services, here's my card." Natural 20 on the intimidate check (plus being an inquisitor) results in the guy going very pale, running away, and soiling himself, not in that order)

Of course what made it funnier was when you picture Dexios, being 6'6" skin the colour of bassalt, with horns and glowing eyes, wearing a mithral breastplate with the symbol of Shizuru boldly emblazoned on it. Now picture this guy handing someone a card, saying something softly and politely, and the guy runs off screaming.

**

Voices in the Void:
I ran this for my home group a few months ago. Most of the players were running ranged skirmishing characters, with the exception of a one-trick-pony color spray gnome oracle.

They get to the final area and start making fun of the comically apparent "innocent box in the middle of the room" trap. Ignoring the box, they toss back the curtain to confront Imrizade. Immediately upon seeing the room setup and the fact the BBEG is limited in her movement by fleshy tethers, they lure her zombie guards back out of her effective range and LOS. More laughter follows as they criticize the combat setup.

The gnome oracle, meanwhile, finally loses his patience. He spent the entire session facing opponents immune to his color spray, and having to deal with zombies was the last straw.

"That's it, I open the box," he says exasperatedly in mid-combat. *BOOM* Electricity trap takes of most of his hp, and then a spider swarm pretty much gnaws off the rest before corralling the rest of the party back towards the Dark Tapestry-possessed sorceress.

The laughter died, but amazingly none of the PCs did.

The Exchange ****

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Why is it the "Funny Moments" threads always roll off so fast? there are so many other threads where people just argue, and bicker and fight... the fun is why we play right? anyway, another funny story.

In Race for the Rune Carved Key:

I was playing an over-the-top Face character... and so I checked with the rest of the players to make sure it was Ok for me to just "Talk our way out" of most of the encounters. They say "no fighting is ok" so...

We're given a mission to ambush a shipment just outside of town. We want what's in the wagon, and aren't real concerned with how we get it. Normally the party would sneak up to the Mooks and jump right into combat... or maybe even skip the "sneak up" part. So I turn to the other players and say, "let's just walk right up, tell them we're here to pick up the shipment, and walk away with it."

Several players chuckle and say "yeah, sure...". One insists on hanging back in the woods and getting ready for the fight that is surely going to erupt. He's a fighter rogue after all...And here's what we do.

Spells cast:
Aura of the Unremarkable & Glibbness

and we walk plainly down the road from town to the camp site, not hiding and making a lot of noise. Right upto the camp and begin talking to the mooks. We have some GREAT RP for 10 mins or so game time... "Great job you guys have done! We'll take it from here. I'll be sure to mention you in my report - how exactly do you spell your name? M-O-O-K-#-4? Great! oh, do you think you guys can hitch the wagon up for me? It's ok if I borrow the wagon and horses right? I mean you guys don't need to keep track of it any more. And my guards and I will be on our way and you can get some well deserved time off."

The Saves for the Aura were DCs 22+, and Bluff rolls (Taking 10) 60+.

The player in the woods responded "60 WHAT?" when I gave the judge my bluff number. So I told him "Well, I could take 20 and get a 70+, but I can only do that once per day...".

Later the same player was shocked when I took 10 on a Perception and got a 12... esp. after I explained that it was a class skill and I had a rank in it. "Yeah, this PC is built for social settings."

Liberty's Edge

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The Paladin challenged the 2 sentient (advanced) Otyughs to a "fair" fight.

It took some time for the Paladin to realize that, apart from him, everybody (ie, the other 6 PCs and also the 2 Otyughs) thought that "fair" meant "2 PCs vs 2 Otyughs".

The Paladin thought it meant "All of the 7 PCs vs all of the 2 Otyughs".

In the end we played it like a wrestling match, 2 Otyughs vs 2 PCs with a new PC switching places with a down PC (couldn't let the Cavalier suffer for the foolishness of the Paladin after all).

Silver Crusade ***

nosig wrote:


** spoiler omitted **...

Not quite as funny, but same scenario, same encounter. I was playing tier 12+ in Race for the Runecarved Key with a level 13/14 group of us who had all done Eyes of the Ten together.

Spoiler:

So apparently, you're supposed to beat up the mooks easily, but then they let loose the big monster that they're shipping in the wagon, which is supposed to be the tough part. Our party witch started the fight with Black Tentacles, so the mooks never got near the wagon to let the creature out. Throw in a Blade Barrier by the cleric, and my barbarian and the other martial types had an easy mop up exercise. Totally shut down the bad guys right from round one.

Funny moment in a completely different adventure, where I was playing my oracle with the tongues curse, so he can only speak Infernal in battle. In the particular scenario we were playing, we were facing waves of bad guys, one group at a time attacking us as we defended a particular area. My battle oracle and a paladin were the big front liners (literally big after I cast Enlarge Person on both of us, actually), so we got ahead of the rest of the group during some of the fighting.

After beating one batch of bad guys, we're still in initiative order as we prep for the next group of baddies that we see approaching from a distance. On his turn, the paladin taps my oracle on the shoulder and says something like "We should probably rejoin the others back there before the next attack".

Naturally, I responded by babbling at him in gibberish.

The whole table laughed, and the paladin's player was just like "Crap! I forgot your character doesn't understand me." He was able to hand gesture what he wanted, and my PC caught on and followed him back to the others. But it's the moments like that which make the tongues curse a lot of fun to role play.

The Exchange ****

Fromper wrote:
nosig wrote:


** spoiler omitted **...

Not quite as funny, but same scenario, same encounter. I was playing tier 12+ in Race for the Runecarved Key with a level 13/14 group of us who had all done Eyes of the Ten together.

** spoiler omitted **

Funny moment in a completely different adventure, where I was playing my oracle with the tongues curse, so he can only speak Infernal in battle. In the particular scenario we were playing, we were facing waves of bad guys, one group at a time attacking us as we defended a particular area. My battle oracle and a paladin were the big front liners (literally big after I cast Enlarge Person on both of us, actually), so we got ahead of the rest of the group during some of the fighting.

After beating one batch of bad guys, we're still in initiative order as we prep for the next group of baddies that we see approaching from a distance. On his turn, the paladin taps my oracle on the shoulder and says something like "We should probably rejoin the others back there before the next attack".

Naturally, I responded by babbling at him in gibberish.

The whole table laughed, and the paladin's player was just like "Crap! I forgot your character doesn't understand me." He was able to hand gesture what he wanted, and my PC caught on and followed him back to the others. But it's the moments like that which make the tongues curse a lot of fun to role play.

My wife's tongues cursed Oracle speaks Protuguese/Celestial... and as she is fluent in Portuguese and I'm not even a little, she'll use Portuguese when "in stress"...

SO, in an early scenario, the Bad Guys kicked a spell off to blind the PCs, and while most of us make our saves she did not. She did get the McMuffen in her hands, and rolled up in a ball under the table, hugging it to herself while the rest of us fought off the Bad Guys... everytime one of us would run over to check on her PC, she's sqeeze her eyes shut, hug her arms around herself and yell something in Portuguese. NOW... normally she is a shy, quite lady, and each time she did this the tables around us would stop what they were doing and look over to see if she was having some type of fit or something. Thankfully, as she had her eyes shut, she didn't see the effect she was having at the other tables - or she'd have melted under the REAL table.

Liberty's Edge *****

So I'm running Feast of Sigils

Feast of Sigils:
and they are trying to get past the dwarven drug dealer and figure out where the Lisallans are. So the Witch has her invisible cacodaemon (basically a floating skull) hang out in the room after they left. The improved familiar lifted the cloth off the symbol of pain, and it knocked the creature to 0 STR, so the thing is laying on the ground, while the Dwarf monk starts pounding on it. Meanwhile the Witch and friends are on the roof across the street and he shouts, "My spellbook!"

So they run into the room, save the familiar, take a beating themselves as like 4 of them fall down to the symbol of pain, and eventually win the fight. They take the dwarven monk alive. So they start feeding him his own pesh. They made him smoke, and smoke, and smoke, and smoke and smoke it. So they try to ask him a question, and he's like speaking in "I'm higher than a kite and can't feel my tongue gibberish." Hilarity ensued.

I'm playing in Eyes of the Ten, and I want to cast my divination to find out some information. Well divination has a percentage roll that you actually get an answer, and part of the percentage is based off your caster level. My guy is a Rage Prophet, and I say, "well, if I use moment of clarity while raging, I get a +2 CL" and the GM (Kyle Baird) says, "of course, why wouldn't you?" in a very sarcastic tone.

So I rage, use moment of clarity, cast divination and proceed to, in my unique growly voice in an intense rage voice added to it, "Cayden Cailean, I want to know X." Kyle Baird just did the <face, desk> but he was laying on the floor so it was more <face, floor>. It was kinda funny.

P.S. Yes, now that I look back at the spell, I know divination shouldn't work with moment of clarity due to its 10-minute casting time. But it didn't ruin the scenario, because I got some info, that basically turned out to be useless.

Sovereign Court ***** RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8

Nosig reminded me of a bit with Ksenia. YMMV of course.

I remember very little Russian from High School. Strangely enough one of the few things I remember is "spatz na paloo" (To sleep on the floor)

So I usually say that when I say I'm throwing slumber.

In one scenario, I threw it twice to no effect. So the third time I pointed to the new target and said "Tovyu Matz! Spatz na paloo!"

When I explained the new phrase, there was chuckling.

Liberty's Edge *****

Ok, I'll bite, explain

Liberty's Edge **

Temple of Empyreal Enlightenment: My son's Halfling Beastmaster Ranger, riding a war dog, jumped from a raised stage into a fountain screaming "Cannonball!!!" in mid air.

Silver Crusade ***

3 people marked this as a favorite.

How about the time the big bad kept regenarating because we didn't have any silve or good on us? She was already unconscious, but wouldn't stay down. Then we remembered the first loot we found in the scenario: a chest of silver ingots. Soon everyone in the party is whacking at the BBEG with the ingots, and she finally stays down.

Out of character, it is sometimes quite difficult to find figures for larger enemies, as most of us don't GM often enough to invest in them. Last week we discovered that these cookies couple of the players always bring to the games are perfectly sized for Huge creatures. And also that certain smaller cookies are a perfect for Large. Thus leading to my paldin and another player's cavalier riding into battle against two of these: http://www.photos-culinaires.com/biscuit-fourre-zDE614.jpg on Oreos. The idea just amuses me endlessly.

Grand Lodge ***** Venture-Captain, Arizona—Phoenix aka TriOmegaZero

Cormac O'Bron wrote:
Temple of Empyreal Enlightenment: My son's Halfling Beastmaster Ranger, riding a war dog, jumped from a raised stage into a fountain screaming "Cannonball!!!" in mid air.

Hey, I think I GMed that one! :D

***** Venture-Agent

Well always liked mishearing boat as bull in one module. I thought it was interesting because it was man saying "I gave her the bull." in a heavy roleplayed Russian accent and all the players said "Well good for you I guess? I mean more information than we needed."

Grand Lodge ***** Venture-Captain, Arizona—Phoenix aka TriOmegaZero

1 person marked this as a favorite.

My wife's mispronunciation of warehouse had the table laughing about the dreaded werehorse during The Ciphermage Dilemma.

Grand Lodge ****

3 people marked this as a favorite.

Cyphermage Dilemma:

The Vishkanya captain had the scholar in a death grip with her blade planted at his throat. One pathfinder would loudly approach and try to settle an agreement while myself (the ninja) and the bard went invisible and snuck up behind her.

We had only just gotten to our surprise attack positions when the negotiation finished early. The evil captain had asked to go free, and she'd leave the hostage. The Pathfinder said simply 'okay'. So she started walking. I had an AoO, surprise attack, sneak attack, she was leaving the room and if I pursued either my invisibility would wear off or I'd move at full speed and she'd hear me.

So I decided to take the Surprise Attack attack of opportunity to sneak her before she could escape with the prisoner. It was all on this!

I rolled a one, fumbling hopelessly off balance as I swung and missed. My gangly ninja went visible as he looked about nervously. Her eyes widened with rage and there was a throaty tearing noise as her blade went straight the hostage's neck. Blood spilt all over my shoes.

"YOU HAD ONE JOB!" The rest of the team yelled.
"Oh noes" I said in my Ustalavi accent.

Among the Living:

So we're at the zombie apocalypse part and the dead had started pouring in. Unfortunately we had a Master Summoner with the Skeletal Summoning feat who was creating more undead every round. The Taldan nobles of course saw this and swarmed him with subdual attacks. "No!" he screamed as a wave of aristocrats rounded up on him.

Way of the Kirin:

So Darius the martyr paladin and Lokan the fat blokey fighter had teamed up to try and build the catapult together, despite having no experience in carpentry. They finally managed to get it together, and having bonded over the DIY project decided to give their new catapult a name: "The Bull!"

Two hours later, as they sent an enormous rock crashing down on a squadron of invading troops, they screamed over the din of battle:
"You mess with The Bull, you get The Horns!" Then they bro-fisted and ran away.

Dark Archive **

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Had a guy open a door leading to a group of vargouilles in a particular scenario. Mind you, this is while the rest of the party was busy fighting a group of creatures in another nearby room. Immediately I hear the party begin reenacting the Leeroy Jenkins video. The guy responsible for opening the door then requested permission to make a fortitude save in addition to other required saves. I didn't know what for, but I went along with it. Turns out it was to avoid crapping in his pants. Passed the required saves, rolled a 1 on the fort save he requested for himself.

The Exchange ****

The cavalier was told that two monsters with breath attack had readied actions to attack when he charged.

He charged and got within rage of both at the same time.

Mount went down and he almost died.

Grand Lodge ** RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

5 people marked this as a favorite.

We Be Goblins and We Be Goblins Too. Like, all of it.

**

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An infamous cursed well in a mod. The players kept looking down. Not sure if they were paying attention or not as to what was happening. First guy looks down, fails save, and jumps down into the well. Next person comes to well "I'm going to throw a rope down to him." So I kindly ask the player "Do you look down to make sure you don't hit him in the head?" the player responds that they do, so they need to make a save (and fail) and soon they too jump down the well. Third player comes up to the well "I throw a rope down to them". I ask "Do you look down to make sure you don't hit them in the head?" The player responds "Yes" followed by all the other players shouting "Noooooooo!!!"

***** Venture-Lieutenant, Finland—Tampere aka Rei

Jiggy wrote:
We Be Goblins and We Be Goblins Too. Like, all of it.

Oh lord, don't remind me. My first time playing WBG was rather recently. My character ended up acquiring a highly questionable horse-related bludgeoning implement.

Grand Lodge *

Not sure how funny this was, but recently played a module where our group infiltrates/storms a castle. Well, they get off an alarm when we are in the middle of the keep and we had to fight the whole keep at the same time. I went something like this:

- "Nice win!"
- "Uh, we might die"
- "Hey, we might survive after all"
- "We are definitely dying, run!"
- "How on earth did we win that one?"

The Module:
We were playing Fangwood Keep and pulled effectively everyone from the actual keep (not the basement under it) aside from the cook. Not just the individual bosses, but all the Hobgoblins and Hobgoblin archers too. 1 dead PC as a result and people under 0 health at multiple occasions during the fight.

No other fight I have ever played in PFS has made me feel like a wizard more than that one.

Grand Lodge ** RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

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From Shore to Sea:
So there's this little fishing village where creepy stuff is going down. *Very* creepy. So creepy, in fact, that my initial impression was that all the villagers were probably creepy cultists or somesuch that we'd probably end up having to fight sooner or later. But as far as my Eldritch Knight is concerned, fighting fair is fighting-too-risky.

The village was bordered on one side by ocean, and otherwise surrounded by sheer cliffs a couple of hundred feet tall. But fireball is long range (400ft+40ft/level). Did some rough math in my head and made an educated guess that if we left, spent the night somewhere safer, and came back the next day with me having lots of fireballs prepped, I could pretty much guarantee that, standing atop the cliff outside the village, I could rain down fiery destruction and have the ENTIRE area of the village in flames before anyone could possibly reach the clifftop (or even if they did, there's still the whole rest of the party to deal with). We very nearly went with this "nuke the whole site from orbit" plan, and in fact, I can't remember exactly why we didn't.

But then we discovered later that the villagers were in fact the innocent victims and needed saving.

Phew! Talk about dodging the moral bullet...

Lantern Lodge *****

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Blood Under Absalom as Overseer:

In the Opera battle, one table decided the opera should be a comedy. After a successful grease spell, one of the clowns exclaimed, "Slick move!". The puns and cheesy jokes only got worse from there until it culminated in the clown taunting the Aspis clown after he successfully hit another PC with a broom: "You should be dressed as a woman for you know how to work the shaft!" I had to give the tables an extra 5 minutes for that act as half of tables, including myself, broke down into laughter.

Also hilariously, the same table was rolling an incredibly high amount of 1's; the clown player kept tally and the PC's rolled 31 Nat 1's compared to 19 Nat 20's over a 5 1/2 hour period. More amusingly, they were first table to have all players roll the Nat 20 to touch the sifu and thus 'winning' the event.

Lantern Lodge *****

KestlerGunner wrote:

** spoiler omitted **

** spoiler omitted **

** spoiler omitted **...

The conclusion to the Way of the Kirin story literally made me laugh out loud, only because the image in my head is amazing.

*** RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

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Shades of Ice, Part 1:
In the final encounter, our party runs upstairs to fight goblins, and discovers that the 4 villains have retreated out the windows. The GM decides to rewind 2 rounds to play out the combat between the villains and my Axe Beak, which I'd happened to hitch right in their escape route. He proceeds to apologize for what he's about to do, and points out that I can easily get a new animal companion after this.

So he starts with a scorching ray. "Does a 13 hit your touch AC?"
Me: "Yeah. Now make a caster level check against his Spell Resistance."
GM: "What?"
It failed.

I should point out that this Axe Beak had the Celestial Template, and an effective druid level of 7, at tier 4-5. By the time the two full rounds were over and the rest of our party reached the windows, the Axe Beak hadn't even been scratched, and two of the villains were half-dead. After a Smite Evil on the monk, the Axe Beak finished him off with no help, while the rest of the party struggled against the other villains.


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PC 1: "I'm doing this for Taldor!"

PC 2: "...what the *&#$?"

Silver Crusade ***

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hogarth wrote:

PC 1: "I'm doing this for Taldor!"

PC 2: "...what the *&#$?"

Best. Faction Mission. Ever.

The Exchange ****

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Resently, in a Mod (which doesn't have faction missions), a party of players started creating thier own faction missions. It started when they came upon a stack of papers the BBE was going to use as blackmail material, and one of the players commented "Ah, this must be here for the Scarzoni PC..." and looks around the group. Sure enough, one of the players says, "maybe I should pick those up for my uncle..." and everyone laughs.
.
So, during the rest of the Mod the PCs begin doing strange things... for example, in the BBE master bedroom, my PC carefully folds up the silk coverlet and stows it in a backpack. Looking around at everyone, I say "what? It goes with the rest of the Para-Countesses bedroom suite!" Thus identifing my PC as Cheliax.

I think I may be doing this in each Mod I play from now on. Just to see if it catches on.

Silver Crusade ***

nosig wrote:

Resently, in a Mod (which doesn't have faction missions), a party of players started creating thier own faction missions. It started when they came upon a stack of papers the BBE was going to use as blackmail material, and one of the players commented "Ah, this must be here for the Scarzoni PC..." and looks around the group. Sure enough, one of the players says, "maybe I should pick those up for my uncle..." and everyone laughs.

.
So, during the rest of the Mod the PCs begin doing strange things... for example, in the BBE master bedroom, my PC carefully folds up the silk coverlet and stows it in a backpack. Looking around at everyone, I say "what? It goes with the rest of the Para-Countesses bedroom suite!" Thus identifing my PC as Cheliax.

I think I may be doing this in each Mod I play from now on. Just to see if it catches on.

Heh. That's pretty funny.

I'd expect Andorens to go around freeing slaves everywhere they go, even if it's not their faction mission. Of course, it's ALWAYS their faction mission in any scenario that has slaves, but this could work for a module.

***

Ok this spell caster put a stinking cloud outside his door in the surprise round with my aqeuos orb waiting outside of it. Then he casted acid pit under my orb. The druid making his fort save in wild shape naga form jumped the pit. His large dinosaur fell in the pit and then into the orb. So in the room the druid rushed past the flesh golem grappled the wizard and then proceeded to drag him into the pit with him. So the flesh golem chased him.

So in acid pit was aqueous orb, large dinosaur, large naga, a humaniod spellcaster, and a flesh golem the poor wizard was getting hopelessly pounded, burned, and churned in water.

It was quite an epic end to a savage fight.

Shadow Lodge **

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I was the GM for a group of people whose proclivity for table talk tended to lead them to forget the descriptions I gave, then to forget to ask for a reminder.

Case in point:

The sewer path comes to a junction; the path to your left is uneven, due to bits of collapsed ceiling littering the floor. Just as you'd been told, this must be the way to go. Little bits of movement constantly shift in the rubble.
*Table Talk*
Bard PC: I send my Dancing Lights ahead!
They light up the way forward, dancing through a metal grate; sending them back around the corner, they illuminate the mostly-dry path ahead.
*Table Talk*
Bard PC, forgetting his Perception check, or even to ask for another summary of the situation: "I Disable Device to disarm traps."
You reach out with your lockpick to disarm the spiders, but - aagh! Spiders!
The Inquisitor hauled out his alchemist's fire and flung it, but due to the close quarters and the soft cover, the jar crashed against the back of the gunslinger's head, igniting both him and the build-up of flammable sewer gas.
Bard PC: "Don't worry about me; I'm an aasimar! We're heat-resistant!"
You're thinking of tieflings.

Silver Crusade ***

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I was running "Shadow's Last Stand, Part 2" at a gaming store event.

Spoiler:
The PCs had followed all of their leads, but one. This certain lead is regarded as a cowardly shop-keeper toting a cart, and the heroes had been through a lot to this point.

All of the PCs had passed skill checks to hide in a dark alley well after midnight, in order to surprise the person moving down the alley.

The PC playing a dwarf inquisitor of Torag, in one of the best role-playing experiences for me personally, literally jumps out of his chair and SCREAMS the phrase "show us your CAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRT!"

After 5 minutes of laughter across the store, I didn't even look for stats concerning intimidate checks...... I conceded.

Added spoiler tags. --Jessica

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