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Funniest PFS moments?


Roleplaying Guild General Discussion

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The Exchange ****

RSX Raver wrote:
Serisan wrote:

The one in the spell that entirely too many people forget:

Fireball wrote:
If you attempt to send the bead through a narrow passage, such as through an arrow slit, you must "hit" the opening with a ranged touch attack, or else the bead strikes the barrier and detonates prematurely.
So many people do not know that rule exists.

This would mean that the person casting the spell, has not (fully) read/understood the spell description - right? I mean that "obscure rule" is part of the spell write-up...

Kind of like rolling 12d6 as a 12th level Wizard for the damage of a fireball spell... (Damage caps at 10d6).

Grand Lodge ***** Venture-Captain, Arizona—Phoenix aka TriOmegaZero

It honestly almost never comes up.

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Companion Subscriber
Da Wander wrote:
RSX Raver wrote:
Serisan wrote:

The one in the spell that entirely too many people forget:

Fireball wrote:
If you attempt to send the bead through a narrow passage, such as through an arrow slit, you must "hit" the opening with a ranged touch attack, or else the bead strikes the barrier and detonates prematurely.
So many people do not know that rule exists.

This would mean that the person casting the spell, has not (fully) read/understood the spell description - right? I mean that "obscure rule" is part of the spell write-up...

Kind of like rolling 12d6 as a 12th level Wizard for the damage of a fireball spell... (Damage caps at 10d6).

People also tend to ignore or not read the final paragraph of the spell description, which talks about setting fire to combustibles, melting things like gold and breaking through barriers (like doors).

It is a sadly common occurrence that people fail to read complete spell descriptions.

Dark Archive **

Pathfinder PFS RPG Subscriber
Lemford wrote:
Quentin Coldwater wrote:
It was a mess.
It was GLORIOUS.

It was all sorts of messed up, in the right way though!

My ratfolk investigator is more or less the babysitter who has no chance what so ever when it comes to keeping this band in check. She's forced to stand there, witness mayhem and then clean it up. She even has profession Blood Spatter Analyst so she can tell the band-members who's responsible for what injury and thus who was more impressive in a fight.

That said, even she had her moments of.. insanity. At some point she closed the door of the library by slamming it shut in the face of an impatient enemy and said: 'Please be quiet, I'm trying to read a book here'. Mind you, the band was rehearsing there at the same time. Loudly.

I do hope we'll continue this madness.

The Exchange ****

RSX Raver wrote:
Da Wander wrote:
RSX Raver wrote:
Serisan wrote:

The one in the spell that entirely too many people forget:

Fireball wrote:
If you attempt to send the bead through a narrow passage, such as through an arrow slit, you must "hit" the opening with a ranged touch attack, or else the bead strikes the barrier and detonates prematurely.
So many people do not know that rule exists.

This would mean that the person casting the spell, has not (fully) read/understood the spell description - right? I mean that "obscure rule" is part of the spell write-up...

Kind of like rolling 12d6 as a 12th level Wizard for the damage of a fireball spell... (Damage caps at 10d6).

People also tend to ignore or not read the final paragraph of the spell description, which talks about setting fire to combustibles, melting things like gold and breaking through barriers (like doors).

It is a sadly common occurrence that people fail to read complete spell descriptions.

yeah. It's a common occurrence that people fail to read the entire rule on a lot of things... like shooting at a Large creature engaged in melee. It's amazing how many people don't read the second paragraph of the shooting into a melee rules... (and then insist that "2 squares away is only 5' in this case, though it is 10' in all others").

I just find it kind of funny that the "obscure rule" is often actually the rule being used - just not being used fully. The first half of the rule is common knowledge and used, but the second paragraph (sentence, or sometimes even the second part of the same sentence) is counted as an "obscure rule".

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Companion Subscriber
Da Wander wrote:
RSX Raver wrote:
Da Wander wrote:
RSX Raver wrote:
Serisan wrote:

The one in the spell that entirely too many people forget:

Fireball wrote:
If you attempt to send the bead through a narrow passage, such as through an arrow slit, you must "hit" the opening with a ranged touch attack, or else the bead strikes the barrier and detonates prematurely.
So many people do not know that rule exists.

This would mean that the person casting the spell, has not (fully) read/understood the spell description - right? I mean that "obscure rule" is part of the spell write-up...

Kind of like rolling 12d6 as a 12th level Wizard for the damage of a fireball spell... (Damage caps at 10d6).

People also tend to ignore or not read the final paragraph of the spell description, which talks about setting fire to combustibles, melting things like gold and breaking through barriers (like doors).

It is a sadly common occurrence that people fail to read complete spell descriptions.

yeah. It's a common occurrence that people fail to read the entire rule on a lot of things... like shooting at a Large creature engaged in melee. It's amazing how many people don't read the second paragraph of the shooting into a melee rules... (and then insist that "2 squares away is only 5' in this case, though it is 10' in all others").

I just find it kind of funny that the "obscure rule" is often actually the rule being used - just not being used fully. The first half of the rule is common knowledge and used, but the second paragraph (sentence, or sometimes even the second part of the same sentence) is counted as an "obscure rule".

Shooting into melee rules are one of the worst about people only reading the first paragraph and ignoring the rest. I have had to point out to a couple 5 star GMs that, no if the nearest ally is at least 10' away then there is no penalty.

My favorite part of that is when they ask you where you are getting that rule and the response is in the rules for X action.

The Exchange ****

yeah, lots of fun.

But then when the rule is shown to them, there are some judges who have one of two responses...

a) "2 squares away is only 5 feet"

b) "that rule has been/will be changed so that it no longer applies."

Shadow Lodge ***

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Waay back when Season 1 was the new cool thing.

1st round: Shoot my Bow at one of two BBEGs. I crit.

I roll 10, 10, 9 on damage.

Me: That's 38 points of damage (16 Str).

GM: He's dead.

Other Player(horrified): That was my Prestige point!

Me: Oops.

Liberty's Edge ***

5 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Companion, Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Had a game recently that I was playing my barbarian. The rest of the party had managed to bluff their way into a fort with no apparent problem, so while they were all talking and negotiating (boring!), he heads up to a ballista tower with three guys manning it. We start talking ballistae and how I'd always wanted to shoot one. One of them, a guy named Fred apparently, started giving me a run-down on how to fire one, the different types, etc. He was writing a report on them!

Then fight breaks out downstairs. I bull rush the others off the tower and say to Fred "Got nothing against you. Stay outta the fight, maybe you'll make Captain!" Next round, Fred loads the ballista and I shoot at the commander of the garrison outside. Got like a 3 on the d20.. used my reroll for a nat 20 and crit.

Few rounds later, the party's leaving, and I wave bye to Commander Fred, who was already using the previous commander for menial labor. Kept the broken bits of the ballista bolt I'd fired to remember him by. ;)

Silver Crusade ***

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Quentin Coldwater wrote:

Not sure if this fits better here or in the "you know you're in trouble when..." thread, but:

For a low-level module we all made new characters. Two independently had the idea of making a Skald. A third player joined in, then decided we should all be Halflings and be a travelling band. One player joins in as a Slayer, one player has a Demon Eidolon, and the last is a Ratfolk Investigator playing the manager of the band who's at his wit's end. We called ourselves the Beat-Alls and we stacked three different kinds of songs (vanilla Skald, Wyrm Singer, Urban Skald going to DEX). Once we all got our songs going, things got scary. One Skald was TWF-ing with a Weighted Spear, one was playing a Ledford clone, and one was acting as the party tank.
When we arrived in town, we started at the bakery and things went downhill from there. We fought a lot among ourselves (big egos, short tempers), one got possessed by purple goop, and the Demon Eidolon was played as barely having any restraint and almost fighting his own master. It was a mess.

Sounds like the band members' personalities were turned up to 11.

Silver Crusade ***

3 people marked this as a favorite.
Kerney wrote:

Waay back when Season 1 was the new cool thing.

1st round: Shoot my Bow at one of two BBEGs. I crit.

I roll 10, 10, 9 on damage.

Me: That's 38 points of damage (16 Str).

GM: He's dead.

Other Player(horrified): That was my Prestige point!

Me: Oops.

Something similar happened back around season 3.

It was a low level adventure with mostly level 1 PCs. It was my first time playing Seamus Luckleaf, halfling cleric of "Lady Luck" ("Tha's th' godd'ss Desna t' mos' folks"), with the Luck domain. He insists that he's no good at the fisticuffs, but he'll make everyone else in the party very lucky.

So we're walking through the forest, when someone snipes at us from a tree. Roll initiative. Seamus slaps the gunslinger on the back and says "Go get 'im" (Luck domain power, so he can roll twice and use the better roll). Gunslinger crits for 4d12 or whatever, easily driving the level 1 enemy down below their negative con score. The GM gives a description of the gunslinger shooting directly into the enemy's eye socket and blowing his brains out.

We get up close to examine the body and realize that it's the contact the gunslinger was supposed to meet for his faction mission. Apparently, the adventure wanted you to yell to the person to stop attacking, and try to make peace, but murderhobos will be murderhobos. So the gunslinger just shot his own prestige point to death.

As soon as the GM tells us that, I respond in character, "See? Ah told ya Desna'd bring ya luck!"

****

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Fromper wrote:
Kerney wrote:

Waay back when Season 1 was the new cool thing.

1st round: Shoot my Bow at one of two BBEGs. I crit.

I roll 10, 10, 9 on damage.

Me: That's 38 points of damage (16 Str).

GM: He's dead.

Other Player(horrified): That was my Prestige point!

Me: Oops.

Something similar happened back around season 3.

It was a low level adventure with mostly level 1 PCs. It was my first time playing Seamus Luckleaf, halfling cleric of "Lady Luck" ("Tha's th' godd'ss Desna t' mos' folks"), with the Luck domain. He insists that he's no good at the fisticuffs, but he'll make everyone else in the party very lucky.

So we're walking through the forest, when someone snipes at us from a tree. Roll initiative. Seamus slaps the gunslinger on the back and says "Go get 'im" (Luck domain power, so he can roll twice and use the better roll). Gunslinger crits for 4d12 or whatever, easily driving the level 1 enemy down below their negative con score. The GM gives a description of the gunslinger shooting directly into the enemy's eye socket and blowing his brains out.

We get up close to examine the body and realize that it's the contact the gunslinger was supposed to meet for his faction mission. Apparently, the adventure wanted you to yell to the person to stop attacking, and try to make peace, but murderhobos will be murderhobos. So the gunslinger just shot his own prestige point to death.

As soon as the GM tells us that, I respond in character, "See? Ah told ya Desna'd bring ya luck!"

Not sure what else the writer expected to have happen. Without a compelling reason otherwise, most adventurers respond to lethal force with lethal force unless they have a really convenient alternative like cause blindness or hold person ready to go.

Scarab Sages ****

RealAlchemy wrote:
Fromper wrote:
Kerney wrote:

Waay back when Season 1 was the new cool thing.

1st round: Shoot my Bow at one of two BBEGs. I crit.

I roll 10, 10, 9 on damage.

Me: That's 38 points of damage (16 Str).

GM: He's dead.

Other Player(horrified): That was my Prestige point!

Me: Oops.

Something similar happened back around season 3.

It was a low level adventure with mostly level 1 PCs. It was my first time playing Seamus Luckleaf, halfling cleric of "Lady Luck" ("Tha's th' godd'ss Desna t' mos' folks"), with the Luck domain. He insists that he's no good at the fisticuffs, but he'll make everyone else in the party very lucky.

So we're walking through the forest, when someone snipes at us from a tree. Roll initiative. Seamus slaps the gunslinger on the back and says "Go get 'im" (Luck domain power, so he can roll twice and use the better roll). Gunslinger crits for 4d12 or whatever, easily driving the level 1 enemy down below their negative con score. The GM gives a description of the gunslinger shooting directly into the enemy's eye socket and blowing his brains out.

We get up close to examine the body and realize that it's the contact the gunslinger was supposed to meet for his faction mission. Apparently, the adventure wanted you to yell to the person to stop attacking, and try to make peace, but murderhobos will be murderhobos. So the gunslinger just shot his own prestige point to death.

As soon as the GM tells us that, I respond in character, "See? Ah told ya Desna'd bring ya luck!"

Not sure what else the writer expected to have happen. Without a compelling reason otherwise, most adventurers respond to lethal force with lethal force unless they have a really convenient alternative like cause blindness or hold person ready to go.

Heck, when I played that scenario, our judge required us to say which 5 foot square we were looking for the sniper in - one move action per Perception check (opposed by the snipers Stealth skill - if she happened to be in the square we were looking at). There's a bunch of squares on that forest map! So while spending rounds looking for the sniper in 2 squares each round (with distance modifiers of -1 per 10 foot distance), we talked to her...

Link to a thread I posted after that game...Why-do-DMs-still-use-the-3-5-Search-rules..

Shadow Lodge *****

...designer's intent? *ducks*

Scarab Sages ****

TOZ wrote:
...designer's intent? *ducks*

I didn't notice any water fowl around? Guess I missed my Perception there...

****

1 person marked this as a favorite.

After the briefing for Tome of Righteous Repose, when the party was asking questions :

"Did you say the Knights of Awesome? How awesome are they? That sounds like a group I want to be a part of!"

Grand Lodge **** Venture-Agent aka Upaynao

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Overheard yesterday during our delve into Hrethnar's Throne:

Spoiler:
"No! You are not getting your brain eaten on my watch!"
-Alaxor Higgenstrom, on the wisdom of looking into a rift in reality

Candi Payne, Bloodrager /Tavern Owner: "We're just going to leave this evil cleric here. If she happens to get eaten, no big deal."
Herodotus Vanatir Krezla, Paladin/Party Pooper: "NO. NO. NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT"
Moonbeast: "Don't worry! Not only am I an eternal guardian, I'm also a coat check!"
Anmu, Oracle and Master of Sarcasm: "Yeah, you'd come back and she'd be wearable."

Shadow Lodge ****

First level life oracle has a lifelink on janria. She drops, the lifelink kicks on, she wakes up. Starts singing.

"your possum style is terrible, grasshopper."

Grand Lodge **

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Irony on Easter Weekend-
Playing t3-4 Pallid Plague, a lvl 2 Halfling Sorcerer goes down and ultimately killed by a near max damage 2d6 Negative Channel.
Afterwards, myself [playing a 3 Gunslinger/Warpriest, who should have prioritized healing the lower level character], another 3rd lvl character, and the Sorcerer player divvy up prestige to revive him.
Only to get an email the next day from the LVA, that as per season 8- we can't divvy up Prestige to revive characters.
Then i remembered, the Retailer Incentive Program! I spend $20, the GM himself spent $40- i contacted said LVA about this oversight and asked him to look into it- as this means the character would have survived, just barely.
Met up with player last thrusday, and he commented the irony of the situation:
"I'm dead. :( I'm alive! Oh, I'm dead. :( I'm alive?!"

Sovereign Court * Venture-Agent, Canada—Ontario—Toronto aka crashcanuck

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Selvaxri wrote:

Irony on Easter Weekend-

Playing t3-4 Pallid Plague, a lvl 2 Halfling Sorcerer goes down and ultimately killed by a near max damage 2d6 Negative Channel.
Afterwards, myself [playing a 3 Gunslinger/Warpriest, who should have prioritized healing the lower level character], another 3rd lvl character, and the Sorcerer player divvy up prestige to revive him.
Only to get an email the next day from the LVA, that as per season 8- we can't divvy up Prestige to revive characters.
Then i remembered, the Retailer Incentive Program! I spend $20, the GM himself spent $40- i contacted said LVA about this oversight and asked him to look into it- as this means the character would have survived, just barely.
Met up with player last thrusday, and he commented the irony of the situation:
"I'm dead. :( I'm alive! Oh, I'm dead. :( I'm alive?!"

Schrodinger's PC?

Dark Archive *

4 people marked this as a favorite.

You know those situations where there's an illusion, everyone KNOWS it's an illusion, but nobody can make their will saves even with the bonus for being told it's an illusion?

Well, I can't remember which scenario it was exactly. But the party encountered a statue. Now, this statue was an illusion. This quickly became rather obvious. Heck, one of the magic users used Detect Magic nd informed us it felt like illusion magic. And yet, none of us could make the will save. Now, the non-existent statue was blocking a door. And it looked too heavy to move. So naturally the idea came about to destroy the statue.

The barbarian takes a swing, and accidentally hits the door, chipping it. But fails the new will save granted by interacting with the statue. So my kineticist tosses an elemental blast at the statue. I fail MY will save, and accidentally hit a party member on the other side of the "statue". Thankfully the damage is very low. But since nobody could see through the illusion, we came to the conclusion of "Oh gods, the statue is ANIMATED!" Cue the party going into combat rounds against a statue that isn't actually there.

Eventually someone did destroy the door, quite by accident. And we did eventually see through the illusion. But until that happened the party was in a life or death battle with an illusionary statue... and losing.

*****

Kahel Stormbender wrote:

Well, I can't remember which scenario it was exactly. But the party encountered a statue. Now, this statue was an illusion. This quickly became rather obvious.

CRB wrote:
a character faced with proof that an illusion isn’t real needs no saving throw.

Dark Archive *

1 person marked this as a favorite.

The problem was that NOBODY was making the save. Thus our characters were fully convinced there was a statue. While we knew there was an illusion of some sort, the party came to the conclusion (in character) that the illusion was hiding what we were fighting. Or maybe hiding any damage to the very dangerous statue. Oh sure, as players we all knew what was going on. But nobody was using that knowledge to meta-game. It was bloody hilarious. Then again, I find that so far anytime there's an illusion involved things quickly devolve into a 3 stooges routine as people fail their saves and react accordingly.

Obvious to the players isn't always the same as obvious to the characters.

Silver Crusade ***

Selvaxri wrote:
as per season 8- we can't divvy up Prestige to revive characters.

That's not a new rule in season 8.

** Venture-Agent, Canada—Alberta—Red Deer aka DM Livgin

1 person marked this as a favorite.

GM: You fall in the stagnant water and find yourself covered in grease when you exit.
P1: No problem, I create water to wash the grease off.
GM: It is to greasy, just water doesn't work.
P1: No problem, I have soap!
GM, P2, P3, P4: You have soap!?

The Exchange ***** Venture-Lieutenant, Texas—Dallas & Ft. Worth aka Belafon

2 people marked this as a favorite.

I ran two scenarios last Saturday and we have another set of humorous entries for the "what happens when you don't have a good Handle Animal bonus" series.

Both scenarios ran at subtier 1-2 and the poor low-level druid had only a +4 in Handle Animal (plus the bonus for his animal companion).

In the first scenario a relatively standard fight breaks out between the party and a pair of sneaky NPCs. The fight goes a few rounds (with the druid's crocodile sent into melee) and the party monk is trying to knock both unconscious with non-lethal damage. "Let's leave them alive so we can question them!" "OK, sounds good." So the druid tries to handle the crocodile to go "down." And fails the roll. It mauls the poor NPC to death.

That's a not uncommon occurrence, but what happened later in the day I hadn't seen before. The crocodile is killed later in the first scenario. Lacking the money for a raise animal companion the druid recruits another crocodile before the second session. "OK," I explain to him. "The new companion only automatically knows a number of tricks equal to his bonus tricks. Which at this level is one."

Reasonably enough he chooses "Attack" as the one known trick. (He tries to teach "Guard" but fails the roll.) So there's no "taking them alive" in this scenario. Towards the end is where things got funny. The party has split, there are multiple fights going on out of sight of each other, and the only target the crocodile can see reaches the "run away" morale condition. "OK, you guys win!" it says, moving away as fast as possible. Which is just barely faster than the crocodile. "Oh crap!" says the druid as he chases after the crocodile desperately trying to push him to "Down." After one round he decides to try something with a much higher chance of working; he casts entangle. "Please let my crocodile fail, please let my crocodile fail...he fails!"

So while 2/3rds of the party is locked in a life-or-death struggle the druid has run the opposite direction and is now celebrating the fact that he has successfully entangled his own animal companion.

**

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Emerald Spire: Splinterden

Faced with the two guards manning the main entrance and plinking us full of arrows whenever anyone even sets a foot around the corner, my Bard and another spellcaster decide "What the hey. Let's try something...". Both of us get off Charm Person, both guards fail their saves. The guards then, at our suggestion after convincing them that we bear no ill will, warmly invite us in and show us around the den. Introductions to everyone, sit down and have a nice warm bowl of gruel, chat with the troops. Have a nice chat with the den leader who doesn't object to us Exploring and Reporting as long as we can take care of a Gibbering Mouther problem in the holding cells.

Scenario cleared with only one combat, which was raucously cheered on by our new Splinterden friends...

Sovereign Court *

There's not much in the way of specifics, but just in case anyone really doesn't want to know anything going in (which sort of includes me, since this is from a PbP that's still going on)...

The Prince of Augustana:
"So a bunch of friends and I were exploring these old sewers, and we came across some nasty guys who'd set up an alchemy lab down there. Well, I needed to be closer to use my best spells, so I looked around for some way to get in range, and then it hit me - a sewer isn't the best place to practice alchemy, so they've got to be down here to avoid attention. I figured they're making pesh or something, so I decided to pretend that we're looking to deal. We didn't really look like users and I doubted they'd sell to Pathfinders, but I figured they might be willing to deal with our old friends the Aspis, so I let slip that's who we're representing."

"Well, I guess they didn't think a sweet, innocent girl like me would deal with those serpents, because the leader took one look at me and said, 'Aspis, huh? We're not afraid of you, we're under the protection of the Pathfinder Society!'

***

1 person marked this as a favorite.

During character introduction, a Paladin introduced himself as being rather gullible. The Gnome Rogue immediately started playing pranks on him. The Rogue in turn introduces herself as being rather limber and wearing leather, which immediately got taken out of context and dirty minds were a thing. Some innuendos were made, I told them to please keep it in their pants until the adventure was over.
During the adventure, he players had to re-activate a failing ward with a ritual. I (the GM) jokingly said it involved the usual stuff: incense, chanting, running naked around the altar, and so on. The players took this a little too seriously and they all convinced the Paladin it was of vital importance that it was him that was going to be naked. Paladin is a good sport and goes along with it. Rogue asks how he looks, and he explains his stats. Rogue goes "nice..." and we continue.
At some point the Rogue finally flubs a Sleight of Hand check against the Paladin trying to steal something and she bluffs she was going for his ass. That works, more awkwardness ensued. They exchanged room numbers in their lodge and we faded to black to prevent further derailing of the scenario.

I dunno, sexy roleplaying is funny, but it makes me a little more uncomfortable than I'd like to admit.

Silver Crusade ***

Quentin Coldwater wrote:


During the adventure, he players had to re-activate a failing ward with a ritual. I (the GM) jokingly said it involved the usual stuff: incense, chanting, running naked around the altar, and so on. The players took this a little too seriously and they all convinced the Paladin it was of vital importance that it was him that was going to be naked. Paladin is a good sport and goes along with it. Rogue asks how he looks, and he explains his stats. Rogue goes "nice..." and we continue.

I'm reminded of the last panel in this one.

Grand Lodge **

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Quest of Perfection, pt 1-
Two druids [leshy warden & a nagaji], a rogue, a pregen barbarian, a witch, and a grippli* wander up a mountain to explore an abandoned sanctuary.
At an abandoned town en route, the party encounter a starving snow leopard kitten.
Grippli goes first, charge & grapple [via Constable ability]; every one else surrounds and goes to beat on the kitten.
kitten claws at Grippl, grippli pins kitten. Combat over?
Nope, Leshy Warden druid crits with her scythe. Kitten is now a throw rug.
Warden traumatized.

Later, Grippli tries to save ally from creepy bug who ensnared said ally. Grippli gets beaten to 1 hp*, until... same Leshy Warden crits creepy cave bug. guess what's for dinner?

Finally, Barbarian fails to understand her mortality [15 hp] as she jumps down a 20ft cliff- failing her acrobatics, to go after a baddie in a pit.
Then decides to stare down a yeti- who throws an old cooking kettle at her.

*My grippli was lvl 3 amongst a bunch of lvl 1, and a lvl 2- the witch. He took 28 damage from the cave bug that would have taken out at least two of the party.
His damage isn't that great [1d3 Cestus, +2 with Piranha Strike, +2d6 while grappling via Strangler archetype]

Scarab Sages ****

5 people marked this as a favorite.

I have a (Bard) "Face" PC who is very good at what she does, but she has almost no combat abilities. (Most of the people at the table know her, my Chalaixian Whip using "lady of the evening"). She OWNS face skills, and she can really buff, but she has never done a HP of damage to anything other than herself. I'm careful to tell this to everyone at the table when I sit down and we go thru introductions.
.
Anyway, in the middle of a nasty encounter, the bad guys start tossing out Dominate Persons. Three saves later (plus one reroll) my lady is dominated and told to attack another PC.

Judge "Do you have a weapon?"
Me "She's got a silvered spiked gauntlet - but it's more jewelry. It does 1d4-1. OH! And her whips - though those are more 'day job tools'...".
Judge "That's it? No other weapons?"
Me looking down at my character sheet trying to come up with something "Wait! I've got a dagger written down here, so I must have one someplace ..." flipping sheets in the folder to my equipment sheet. "Yeah! here it is! I've got a dagger! I bought it when I was first level. It must be in my pack someplace ..." I get an image of this lady digging in a shoulder bag muttering something about - "I know it's in here someplace...".

All this while the Tank in the party is doing 50+ HP around the corner and out of sight of these Bad Guys.

So she takes a couple swings at a friend (and the Bad Guys take AOOs at her), with everyone cringing with me - afraid that I'm going to hit and spoil her "record" and do actual damage to someone!

A few rounds later and the Halfling Life Oracle in the party get's dominated and announces that he is even MORE combat useless than my harlot. "I've got a spear on my back, but I only do a 1d4-2..."

Tank in the next room - "76 points of damage with the crit..."

Talk about a polarized party.

***

4 people marked this as a favorite.

Not my party, but one table away:
Low-level party is going through a spiderweb-infested dungeon and they're on edge, since they've already been ambushed by spiders.
GM: "You see something twitching up in the spiderwebs above."
Two players: "I use Burning Hands on it!"
*Roll 5d4 in total, 19 damage.*
GM: "... As soon as your Burning Hands wash over the spiderwebs, you realise the twitching wasn't a spider, but a person in a spiderweb cocoon, who is now burnt to a crisp. He was also your second prestige point."

**

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Fires of Karamoss:
The Director-Bot guide tried to assert an authoritarian hierarchy and force bot-ness on my Desna-freedom-individuality PC. My PC's questioning was irking the bot's sensibilities. So we labeled my PC a new "Questioner-Bot" whom the "Mage-Bot" would often tell to stop making assertions to which my PC would reply he should stop directing me as that usurps Director-Bot's role. Naturally that cascaded into a series of bot names and roles and us ordering (sometimes via questions, as due) each other to stick to our programming.

Grand Lodge **

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Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Silverhex Chronicles: Crash

Spoiler:
While a few PC's were investigating the 'escape pod' and gathering the Silverdisc's, one PC was standing watch- and saw the Kellids approaching. Forewarning the party, they decided on an ambush- with a new weapon... the Escape Pod.
With the time they had, they dug out the egg and the rogue wanted to ride the escape pod down to ambush the kellids.

They waited for the kellids to get closer, and i had the PC with highest strength roll percentile as he shoved the egg down the slope. >20% would miss entire patrol, 100% would hit all four. every 20% would hit another.
The PC rolled 40+% and managed to hit two in the rear, and since the egg was large enough for one PC to be comfortable, i ruled it a large thrown object- 4d6 damage, rolling 15 took out the rear ranger and brought the rager to 1 hp.

knowing there were hostiles on the crest, battle ensued.
Three PC's went down- the rogue in the egg missed the rager, who reciprocated with a raging smash to unconsciousness. The cleric slid down the hill to stabilize the rogue, only to get smashed by the same rager.
the Arcanist, with 6 HP, took 10 to the face from the surviving ranger.
Barbarian and Rager went at it, while the Dwarf Monk tried to quickly join.
Eventually they won, and took the Egg to town- to see if anyone was interested.

Sometimes, it's best to let roll with the weirdest of tactics. ;)

***

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Christ, what have I done? In this adventure there was also an activation written on the wall that triggered a nearby magic effect. The Gnome stole the Paladin's book and wrote down that it's Iomedae's holy word and that Iomedae herself gave the word to the Paladin. He actually incorporated that bit in his character introduction, which I really like. What I didn't expect was that other people are now running with the gag and copying that "holy word." I've got multiple people in my lodge shouting a nonsense word whenever they're stuck somewhere, hoping it'll reveal a secret entrance or something.

Sovereign Court *****

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Card Game, Class Deck Subscriber
Quentin Coldwater wrote:
Christ, what have I done? In this adventure there was also an activation written on the wall that triggered a nearby magic effect. The Gnome stole the Paladin's book and wrote down that it's Iomedae's holy word and that Iomedae herself gave the word to the Paladin. He actually incorporated that bit in his character introduction, which I really like. What I didn't expect was that other people are now running with the gag and copying that "holy word." I've got multiple people in my lodge shouting a nonsense word whenever they're stuck somewhere, hoping it'll reveal a secret entrance or something.

Wounded Wisp:

Reminds me of the time that my players decided to yell "WHIFFLE" really loudly at the Pharasman priest and was disappointed to find out that the priest didn't do anything cool.


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Yesterday my hunter saved the day the by casting Entangle on his own party in the middle of food market because everyone was fascinated at the same time.

Getting slapped around by angry vegetables certainly is one way to snap out of your daydreams.....

Shadow Lodge ****

Labyrinth of Hungry Ghosts (very spoilery):
The party is sent in to the Gloomspires in search of a missing Pathfinder team, and as it turns out, the teams leader, a Paladin named Joahd has been possessed by the BBEG. He got himself captured in hopes of leading more victims deeper into his layer. His undead wife is waiting there, and they are attempting to feed her so that she will regain her memories, but currently she will attack and eat anyone, including Jaohd.
-
When the team finally gets to the end, Jaohd, still possessed, turns on the party, but because of their positioning and some really poor rolls on my (DM) part, the undead wife goes after Jaohd. The Wizard then casts Create Pit, trapping the two down the right after the Alchemist catches Jaohd on fire while she goes all out on him with Str Damaging attacks). Jaohd is an Ex-Paladin(ish) in Full Plate, and will not harm his wife. So for 4 rounds, he is stuck down there getting attacked, on fire, while the rest of the party starts trying to clear out the rest of room. Everything is Incorporeal Undead, and the party is really struggling with either doing no damage or half damage with every attack, so the Illusionist Wizard, not really being able to do anything up top nears the pit. The last round of combat before the pit ends, Jaohd drops from damage, and I go out of my way to say his longsword, (which they know is a Ghost Touch weapon) clanks to the ground. <As in Hint,. . .hint, nudge, nudge. . .)
-
The rest of the party gets into position around the pit, and Readies to attack the undead woman, except the Wizard, who casts Grease on the Longsword, just to make sure. <FACE PALM> And then he gets cursed with Ill Omen just for damn good measure.
-
The pit ends, they massacre the undead woman, and suddenly there is a blast of silvery light as the spirit that had been possessing Jaohd is released, unharmed, pissed that the party has just slain in front of him, and the now true Paladin is burning to death.
-
The party is now extremely low on resources with the actual BBEG just emerging. They immediately drop everything they where planning and rush to try to heal Jaohd and put out the fire, and he rises on his next action, shouting out a warning to the party.
-
He stands up and then picks up his longsword to attack. Except it's still covered in Grease. Nat 20. <Shewww!>
Ow wait, Ill Omen. <Something like a Nat 3, Crap!!!>
So, he rises, and gets AoO'd, which almost drops him again, picks up and immediately drops his longsword.
-
The Wizard immediately dispels the Grease, while most of the party tries to heal him back again with wands of CLW. He then tries again to pick up the Ghost Touch Longsword with the Half-Orc Double Axe Barb dealing single digit damage to the spirit, and Jaohd again almost drops from an AoO.
-
Finally, he gets in a good Smite Evil, and the BBEG goes down. Then I hint that there is still one more room. . .

Grand Lodge **

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
DM Beckett wrote:
** spoiler omitted **...

I played in this at PaizoCon last year- the party was a paladin, a cleric, my gnome sorcerer, and something else i forget, but-

Spoiler:
The other character decided to light the candle after encountering the possessed paladin.
The GM stared at the player, and told everyone to take a break, so he could read up on what the candle actually did.
What the candle did, was expel the possessing spirit and protect us from further possession attempts.

The BBEG fight, resulted in my sorcerer and the npc paladin falling into a Create Pit- being unable to climb out, and the BBEG going after both of us.
My Sorcerer tried for a point-blank Lightning Bolt- only to discover the BBEG is immune to shock damage. :/

Liberty's Edge

Quentin Coldwater wrote:

Not my party, but one table away:

Low-level party is going through a spiderweb-infested dungeon and they're on edge, since they've already been ambushed by spiders.
GM: "You see something twitching up in the spiderwebs above."
Two players: "I use Burning Hands on it!"
*Roll 5d4 in total, 19 damage.*
GM: "... As soon as your Burning Hands wash over the spiderwebs, you realise the twitching wasn't a spider, but a person in a spiderweb cocoon, who is now burnt to a crisp. He was also your second prestige point."

This is what we call ***-hole writing. Because seriously, who WOULDN'T do that if they had the resources available?

The Exchange ***** Venture-Lieutenant, Texas—Dallas & Ft. Worth aka Belafon

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My last post in this thread had to do with a Druid struggling to Handle his animal companion. Well, this weekend I got to experience the downside of having a companion that is too smart.

While exploring a dungeon a spell goes off, catching me and two other characters in a mass suggestion. We all make our saves but then the GM points at my mount. Knowing he is smarter than many of the paladins and fighters he adventures with, the GM asks "does the tiger understand common?" "Crap." I replied, knowing that even with Iron Will his save isn't that great. "Yes. Mentor just learned common, that's actually his second language."

So the tiger fails and decides it's a great idea to go back to our base camp and get reinforcements. I'm still mounted on him while I try to figure out how to keep him with the party. I don't want to wait the half a day or so I know the spell is going to last (and then have to come back) because our mission may be time-critical. And I certainly don't want him wandering alone. I check my gear list and make a brief survey of the rest of the party. Doesn't seem like there's an easy way out of this. So I do the only thing I can think of to do.

"I pull out a scroll of carry companion. . ."

When the GM gets done laughing he agrees that there's no reason Mentor would try to resist the spell and I spend the rest of the adventure with a small statue of a white tiger in my pocket.

***

Wei Ji the Learner wrote:
Quentin Coldwater wrote:

Not my party, but one table away:

Low-level party is going through a spiderweb-infested dungeon and they're on edge, since they've already been ambushed by spiders.
GM: "You see something twitching up in the spiderwebs above."
Two players: "I use Burning Hands on it!"
*Roll 5d4 in total, 19 damage.*
GM: "... As soon as your Burning Hands wash over the spiderwebs, you realise the twitching wasn't a spider, but a person in a spiderweb cocoon, who is now burnt to a crisp. He was also your second prestige point."
This is what we call ***-hole writing. Because seriously, who WOULDN'T do that if they had the resources available?

Eh, that's what a trigger finger gets you. If it had been a combat situation, the GM would have made clear they had a surprise round. Sure, the players were on edge, but blowing stuff up without reasonable cause or further inspection is just dumb.

Grand Lodge ***** Regional Venture-Coordinator, Eastern Eurasia-Africa

3 people marked this as a favorite.

The party encounters and captures a cultist priestess.

First they try to get answers from her by holding her by the legs from a balcony.
Intimidate: "Tell us what's going on before my friend loses his grip!"
Her reply: "Oh! That would be so marvellous! If you accidentally drop me, I would probably break my neck and I'll become one of my Lord Zyphus' chosen ones! I could wish for nothing better!"

The party acknowledge the fact it's hard to intimidate a priestess of the god of accidental death, so they try a different approach and use charm.
Diplomacy: "Oh, you are a priestess of Zyphus! I would love to know more about him. Maybe you and I could have a nice conversation over a candlelight dinner?"
Her reply: "Oh! That would be marvellous! I love to talk about him! And if you play your cards right, we might have a happy little accident!"

Shadow Lodge ****

3 people marked this as a favorite.

"tell us what we want to know or we'll kill you on purpose, with a boring axe to the neck.

"NooOOOoooOOOOOoooo!

Liberty's Edge

Auke Teeninga wrote:

The party encounters and captures a cultist priestess.

First they try to get answers from her by holding her by the legs from a balcony.
Intimidate: "Tell us what's going on before my friend loses his grip!"
Her reply: "Oh! That would be so marvellous! If you accidentally drop me, I would probably break my neck and I'll become one of my Lord Zyphus' chosen ones! I could wish for nothing better!"

The party acknowledge the fact it's hard to intimidate a priestess of the god of accidental death, so they try a different approach and use charm.
Diplomacy: "Oh, you are a priestess of Zyphus! I would love to know more about him. Maybe you and I could have a nice conversation over a candlelight dinner?"
Her reply: "Oh! That would be marvellous! I love to talk about him! And if you play your cards right, we might have a happy little accident!"

Misfortune and Evil Eye are like catnip to them. They don't know how to handle it.... should they be pleased they are receiving the blessing of their deity, or frustrated that they can't complete the deity's plans?

Shardra may have been a bit *mean* to some Zyphans at one point...

Silver Crusade ***

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Wei Ji the Learner wrote:
Auke Teeninga wrote:

The party encounters and captures a cultist priestess.

First they try to get answers from her by holding her by the legs from a balcony.
Intimidate: "Tell us what's going on before my friend loses his grip!"
Her reply: "Oh! That would be so marvellous! If you accidentally drop me, I would probably break my neck and I'll become one of my Lord Zyphus' chosen ones! I could wish for nothing better!"

The party acknowledge the fact it's hard to intimidate a priestess of the god of accidental death, so they try a different approach and use charm.
Diplomacy: "Oh, you are a priestess of Zyphus! I would love to know more about him. Maybe you and I could have a nice conversation over a candlelight dinner?"
Her reply: "Oh! That would be marvellous! I love to talk about him! And if you play your cards right, we might have a happy little accident!"

Misfortune and Evil Eye are like catnip to them. They don't know how to handle it.... should they be pleased they are receiving the blessing of their deity, or frustrated that they can't complete the deity's plans?

Shardra may have been a bit *mean* to some Zyphans at one point...

Now you've got me wanting to make a Zyphus worshiping PC focused on debuffing people.


The Zyphus-worshipping debuffer would be pretty sweet, not going to lie. But I think I'm a sucker for PC decent folk who worships evil gods.

**

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Midway through adventure, the face of (imposter) Venture Captain peels away to reveal a Night Hag.
Player: Well, at least she waited until after the briefing.

Grand Lodge ***** Venture-Captain, Arizona—Phoenix aka TriOmegaZero

Quentin Coldwater wrote:
Wei Ji the Learner wrote:
This is what we call ***-hole writing. Because seriously, who WOULDN'T do that if they had the resources available?
Eh, that's what a trigger finger gets you. If it had been a combat situation, the GM would have made clear they had a surprise round. Sure, the players were on edge, but blowing stuff up without reasonable cause or further inspection is just dumb.

Positive target identification is important.

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