Need help moving to a new state


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My situation is getting a bit crazy. I was supposed to go to university in Montana, but that turned out to be too expensive. I was supposed to go to community college in California (my home state), but that relied on living with Grandma, and my Uncle is doing every single possible thing he can to prevent this (I could rant for hours about getting lectured on my worth as a person by that deadbeat), and I think he'll be able to talk Grandma out of it. I've decided that I want to start my new life somewhere I haven't lived before, so I can avoid familial drama and solidify the fact that I am becoming a new person in more ways than one.

As for where I go, there are three big requirements I have. It has to be highly LGBT friendly, it has to be a city, and it has to be reasonably close to the coast (it doesn't have to be on the coast, but I have to be able to get there without too much difficulty). Right now, I'm looking at Boston, Seattle, Honolulu, and Portland (both of them). I'm open to suggestions for other cities and states.

My big problem is finding a job that will accept a telephone interview instead of a face to face interview, and finding a job in general. I like the idea of employment agencies, but I'm having trouble finding a good one for somebody with my training (Job Corps trade diploma in Office Administration).

Does anyone have any advice, places to look at, or employment agencies for me? I'd greatly appreciate it.

Grand Lodge

Pathfinder Adventure, Rulebook Subscriber

I wish I did. Best of luck.


Thanks for the good wishes.


I grew up around Boston and it was the first city I lived in when I moved out on my own. It's a great town but as for LGBT friendly, that is going to depend on the circles you travel in, if you know what I mean. Being into dance music and nightlife, I remember it being LGBT friendly, but if I'm being honest my perspective is probably skewed because I belonged to a sub-culture if that makes sense. Arriving in Boston without knowing anyone you might get a different impression. There are plenty of dumb college kids who are likely to say something dumb at any given moment.


Boston is also far from cheap.


beggars can't be choosers. As someone from Las Vegas, its cheap and definitely LGBT friendly and a number of jobs you can find quickly.


Boston's probably my favorite city, which isn't saying a lot since I'm not too fond of cities. You'll run into idiots anywhere, but Boston's pretty LGBT friendly. The Cambridge area particularly. Massachusetts was the first state to legalize gay marriage.

Sadly I don't have any contacts or insight into the job market there.


kmal2t wrote:
beggars can't be choosers. As someone from Las Vegas, its cheap and definitely LGBT friendly and a number of jobs you can find quickly.

I really want to be back near the ocean, but I'll consider Vegas if that doesn't look likely.


Does anyone (Paizo Mods?) have any insight into Seattle? Right now, it's the number one city on my list of where I want to go.


Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:
Boston is also far from cheap.

That's to be expected on the coast. I'm willing to go with a cheap apartment in a cheap area. Only way I'm making it in any of my favorite cities.


I am in no way trying to dissuade you from Boston, but when I left, a room in a boarding house in one of the least fashionable neighborhoods was going for $150/week. I think studios were going for about $800/month and a one-room apartment usually runs around a grand.

I'd be surprised if Cambridge still has anything even approximating an unfashionable neighborhood. Prices go down as you get further outside of Boston, but I don't know if they ever get "cheap" until you're pretty far out. Which isn't to say that there aren't deals to be had, but I always found them through knowing people, never through the classified ads.

Also, it's much more likely to find something affordable if you are willing to live with multiple strangers--it's kind of a Boston tradition

But, it's true: the Boston area is pretty LGBT-friendly.


Thanks, Doodlebug. I wouldn't have know that if you hadn't told me.


No prob, Mama Kelsey and if you do end up moving to Boston, drop me a line!

Sorry to hear things aren't working out in Big Sky Country.


With Montana, the problem is LGBT openness and job availability. Neither is really there. Plus, I really feel like finding a new town so I can take everything I've learned at Job Corps and use it to restart life as who I want to be, away from all of home's drama.

I really like the idea of Boston. It's a great city with a wonderful history. I'm looking hardest at Seattle, with Tacoma as a second choice. Western Washington fits what I'm looking at in a new home like a glove. My backup considerations are Oregon and Massachusetts, and Las Vegas if coastal living ends up not being able to happen.


kmal2t wrote:
beggars can't be choosers. As someone from Las Vegas, its cheap and definitely LGBT friendly and a number of jobs you can find quickly.

I can vouch for that too. I lived in Vegas for 6 years and I've never worried about money less.


That cheap for Vegas?

How transgender friendly is it? I get the impression from Hollywood that it's the sort of place that would be totally chill with that. If this is true, and it's that cheap, it would be a perfect place to live for a few years while I transition into a female body and get some college education. Then I could leave for Seattle or Boston.

From a "just thought of this" point of view, it looks cool.


While Seattle is certainly LGBT-friendly, you will get serious sticker shock at the those of living in the area. Rent prices are obscene compared to other places.

That being said, I love the area, and if you're looking for a fresh start, you could do worse that restart in the Pacific Northwest.


Kelsey MacAilbert wrote:

That cheap for Vegas?

How transgender friendly is it? I get the impression from Hollywood that it's the sort of place that would be totally chill with that. If this is true, and it's that cheap, it would be a perfect place to live for a few years while I transition into a female body and get some college education. Then I could leave for Seattle or Boston.

From a "just thought of this" point of view, it looks cool.

From my point of view yeah, the cost of living compared to the ease of making a living balanced out more effortlessly then it has anywhere else for me. As long as you don't gamble obviously. There were dramatic ups and downs in the housing market during my time there that impacted a lot of people around me who were living at the edge of (or beyond) their means, but I coasted through unscathed.

As far as transgender friendliness goes, again I'm not the best equipped to speak on that because I have a knack for finding open minded people wherever I go. I spent a good part of my time in Vegas with a group of friends who were into Tantra and Kundalini Yoga and practiced poly-amorous lifestyles, but that certainly isn't to say my experiences were typical of what you would find there if you were new in town.

I don't think progressive attitudes about gender identity are so much a feature of the culture in Las Vegas relative to what I saw in San Francisco for example, but at the very least it's not a judgmental place.

I hope that makes sense.


Hawaii is fairly dangerous place to live due to natural disasters - you'd think this would be offset by lower housing costs, but that would be logical. I played around with the idea of moving there years ago, but its too expensive for the type of risks involved.

I moved cross-country a few years ago, but I moved because I had a job waiting for me, so all I can offer is this: it will be a great adventure, but it'll get lonely if you're anti-social like me :(

If you need an ear, feel free to drop me a PM :)

Good luck!


Tirisfal wrote:

Hawaii is fairly dangerous place to live due to natural disasters - you'd think this would be offset by lower housing costs, but that would be logical. I played around with the idea of moving there years ago, but its too expensive for the type of risks involved.

For the record, Hawaii isn't that dangerous. Unless you're planning on living on the beach during hurricane season or setting up a house on the active flow slope of Kilauea. I grew up there and lived through two major hurricanes which really were nothing compared to what you get in Florida or the Gulf region. Wildfires can occasionally be a problem during dry spells, but no more than any other state.

Now expensive, yes. Very. I do not recommend it if you're not bringing in a steady and sizeable income. The bright side is that being homeless on the beach is better than being homeless in a cold alley in Boston.


Shadowborn wrote:
Tirisfal wrote:

Hawaii is fairly dangerous place to live due to natural disasters - you'd think this would be offset by lower housing costs, but that would be logical. I played around with the idea of moving there years ago, but its too expensive for the type of risks involved.

For the record, Hawaii isn't that dangerous. Unless you're planning on living on the beach during hurricane season or setting up a house on the active flow slope of Kilauea. I grew up there and lived through two major hurricanes which really were nothing compared to what you get in Florida or the Gulf region. Wildfires can occasionally be a problem during dry spells, but no more than any other state.

Now expensive, yes. Very. I do not recommend it if you're not bringing in a steady and sizeable income. The bright side is that being homeless on the beach is better than being homeless in a cold alley in Boston.

I just meant that to me, the cost of living there doesn't make it worth surviving any of dangerous weather - looking back, I don't think I worded myself clearly; sorry about that.

I'm from the Gulf Coast of Florida, and luckily we've only been hit by two major hurricanes in the last 25 years or so. I would agree that the rest of the Gulf region, and the rest of Florida for that matter, hasn't been as lucky over the years.


Well, Madison, Wisconsin (my home town and current place of residence) is borderline fanatically LGBT friendly, has a spectacular university (which I'm currently attending) and a very solid community college (which I just graduated from). There's lots of office/temp work. It's thousands of miles from your fancy "oceans" but it's a short drive to lake Michigan, which is just as good.

The great lakes are fawesome.

Sovereign Court Contributor

Of the places you've mentioned, Portland OR is cheap, but hard to find jobs. Not because of intolerance. There's just a lot of smart people and not enough jobs.
The rent is about half that in SF or Hawai'i, though.

My sister has the same trouble with cisgender bias in finding work. She lives near DC.


Kelsey MacAilbert wrote:


As for where I go, there are three big requirements I have. It has to be highly LGBT friendly, it has to be a city, and it has to be reasonably close to the coast (it doesn't have to be on the coast, but I have to be able to get there without too much difficulty). Right now, I'm looking at Boston, Seattle, Honolulu, and Portland (both of them). I'm open to suggestions for other cities and states.

Any of those will work. Most of California will also work, of course, if you're willing to stay closer to home. Other cities that you might look at include Philadelphia, Baltimore, Chicago (if you accept lakes as "coastal") or Tucson with a bit of a drive.

Quote:


My big problem is finding a job that will accept a telephone interview instead of a face to face interview, and finding a job in general. I like the idea of employment agencies, but I'm having trouble finding a good one for somebody with my training (Job Corps trade diploma in Office Administration).

Good luck. Frankly, most people want ftf interviews for OA staff, as a) they want to see your personality to see if they can work with you, b) they are unwilling to pay relocation expenses, and c) it's a common enough skill they don't need to look far.

My advice would actually be to fly to Seattle, go downtown with a stack of resumes, and apply for a job at every tall building you see. That's how I got my first job when I wanted to move to Cambridge, MA. I started at MIT and spent a morning walking down Mass Ave towards Harvard. By the time I got to Central Square, I had a job.


I love and miss California, but it's too close to home. Southern California is far enough from the Bay Area for me, I think, but cost of living means it's not a first choice.

Job Corps will pay relocation expenses to anywhere in the US, if I have a job and apartment. Getting a flight out to Seattle or somewhere similar is an unlikely option, because I don't have family or friends to stay with, so Job Corps will be very leary about giving me leave and a plane ticket. I was thinking my best bet would be to find a good employment agency willing to help me find a company that will do a phone interview.


meatrace wrote:

Well, Madison, Wisconsin (my home town and current place of residence) is borderline fanatically LGBT friendly, has a spectacular university (which I'm currently attending) and a very solid community college (which I just graduated from). There's lots of office/temp work. It's thousands of miles from your fancy "oceans" but it's a short drive to lake Michigan, which is just as good.

The great lakes are fawesome.

Well, the oceans are certainly my location of choice, but I'm considering other places in case I don't find work on the coast. Now I have another city to keep in mind if things don't go my way.

Sovereign Court

Portland very LGBT friendly but not easy to get jobs. Across the river Vancouver, WA same also cheaper to live in per friends that live there.

Seattle NOT Cheap

Boston. Might as well live in Hollywood as it is costly.

To bad you want the coast i'd suggest Ft Collins, CO. We have a very friendly LGBT community a nice pride fest, jobs, cost of living in Loveland (5 miles south) is cheap and still lots of jobs and while Ft Collins is higher it is still cheaper than any of those other places by a long shot. And less than 15 minutes from the mountains and great hiking. Always rated in the top places to live. Colorado is also the fittest state and least amount of obesity (That is because we spend a lot of time outdoors). OH and a game group that is looking for 1 to 2 new people.

We have CSU, AIMS, Front Range Community, UNC all within 30 minutes of each other. CU is 45 minutes south


The coast is my preference, but I'm not refusing other areas. I lived in Aurora, Colorado for a few years. How similar to that is Ft. Collins?


Colorado Springs has a stronger GLBT community than many folks realize too, and cost of living isn't too bad, but jobs could be a challenge.

I also expect that you're going to have to reside in a state for at least a year before being eligible for in state tuition rates.

Good luck!


Kelsey MacAilbert wrote:
The coast is my preference, but I'm not refusing other areas. I lived in Aurora, Colorado for a few years. How similar to that is Ft. Collins?

As I recall, Aurora is/was a suburban wasteland, like so many of the small towns immediately around Denver. Ft. C. is a little more self-sufficient but culturally very similar.

And of course, Boulder/Nederland/Longmont/Louisville is "fifteen square miles surrounded by reality," as the locals put it.


Houston, TX is (1) on the coast. (2) Housing there is very cheap. (3) Jobs are plentiful. (4) There are neighborhoods within the city that are extremely GLBT-friendly.

That said, the rest of Texas isn't. And Houston is REALLY hot and humid. And it's in Texas.

Another plus, though, is that TX has no state income tax -- they make all their money on the insane property taxes on homeowners. So for someone looking to rent, it's hard to beat.

On the down side again, because of the electoral college, all residents vote Republican like it or not, when it comes to presidential elections.


Kirth Gersen wrote:

Houston, TX is (1) on the coast. (2) Housing there is very cheap. (3) Jobs are plentiful. (4) There are neighborhoods within the city that are extremely GLBT-friendly.

That said, the rest of Texas isn't. And Houston is REALLY hot and humid. And it's in Texas.

Another plus, though, is that TX has no state income tax -- they make all their money on the insane property taxes on homeowners. So for someone looking to rent, it's hard to beat.

Not that high property taxes don't affect rent prices.


thejeff wrote:
Not that high property taxes don't affect rent prices.

Less than you'd think -- rent prices were comparable to those in Pittsburgh, which has much lower property taxes.

Sovereign Court RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8

Columbus isn't coastal, but a) cheeper than the coasts b) GBLTALPHABETSOUP friendly (yes, even with me living here :P) and we have a couple good schools.


Columbus, OH or Columbus, GA? Or some other Columbus?


Texas is just too difficult an environment for gender transitioning.

I'd have to look more into C Springs and Ft. Collins. I know very little about that area.


Kelsey MacAilbert wrote:
Texas is just too difficult an environment for gender transitioning.

You've never been to some of the parties I went to in Montrose! But, yeah, most of the rest of the state IS extremely difficult about that.


Well, my worry with Texas is mostly from a legal standpoint. To change your gender in the eyes of the state, it takes a thousand dollars, a good lawyer, and the right judge.


Kelsey MacAilbert wrote:
Well, my worry with Texas is mostly from a legal standpoint. To change your gender in the eyes of the state, it takes a thousand dollars, a good lawyer, and the right judge.

Yeah, even with friendly local communities, you want to avoid states where the state laws are stacked against you.


Gotcha. Most of the GLBT crowd I knew didn't care about what geneder they legally were, they just cared about being them. At least one person's gender, for all intents and purposes, could only be described as "undetermined." But I have no idea what kind of legal issues this might have caused them.

And for anyone planning re-assignment surgery, I'd guess the hoops would be formidable. So, for the latter case, I'd stay far away, at least until everything got settled elsewhere.


If you have Colorado on your list, Boulder is probably the most suitable city for your situation. Ft. Collins is probably much better than Aurora in that regard, but Ft. Collins is more like Colorado Springs than Boulder.

Colorado Springs and most of southern Colorado is heavily influenced by a large and growing Hispanic population.

None of these cities satisfy your desire to be near a coast though. In fact it's hard to get farther from the coast than Colorado.

Great mountain outdoor activities though.


If your willing to move out of the US, then I would suggest brighton here in the UK. Its one of the most LGBT friendly cities in the world, has a great potential for quality of life, and is right by the water.

On the flip side, I can't promise anything on the job front, and life in brighton can be pretty expensive if you have expectations of a flat or house to your self, not to mention a fair number of social problems derived from being very bohemian, but all the same, it is a great place.


Zombieneighbours wrote:

If your willing to move out of the US, then I would suggest brighton here in the UK. Its one of the most LGBT friendly cities in the world, has a great potential for quality of life, and is right by the water.

On the flip side, I can't promise anything on the job front, and life in brighton can be pretty expensive if you have expectations of a flat or house to your self, not to mention a fair number of social problems derived from being very bohemian, but all the same, it is a great place.

I am interested in employment outside the US eventually, but I don't think it's feasible right now. I'm pretty much broke (so VISA and passport fees aren't getting paid), I don't have a college degree yet, and I don't have anything to recommend me over a far easier to hire local. I'd love to do it, but it's not practical.


Kelsey MacAilbert wrote:

My situation is getting a bit crazy. I was supposed to go to university in Montana, but that turned out to be too expensive. I was supposed to go to community college in California (my home state), but that relied on living with Grandma, and my Uncle is doing every single possible thing he can to prevent this (I could rant for hours about getting lectured on my worth as a person by that deadbeat), and I think he'll be able to talk Grandma out of it. I've decided that I want to start my new life somewhere I haven't lived before, so I can avoid familial drama and solidify the fact that I am becoming a new person in more ways than one.

As for where I go, there are three big requirements I have. It has to be highly LGBT friendly, it has to be a city, and it has to be reasonably close to the coast (it doesn't have to be on the coast, but I have to be able to get there without too much difficulty). Right now, I'm looking at Boston, Seattle, Honolulu, and Portland (both of them). I'm open to suggestions for other cities and states.

My big problem is finding a job that will accept a telephone interview instead of a face to face interview, and finding a job in general. I like the idea of employment agencies, but I'm having trouble finding a good one for somebody with my training (Job Corps trade diploma in Office Administration).

Does anyone have any advice, places to look at, or employment agencies for me? I'd greatly appreciate it.

So I'm originally from Michigan, moved to Seattle and just moved to Honolulu in the last few months.

Unless you've already got employment I would probably recommend against Honolulu. The cost of living is very high and the moving expenses would also be higher than anywhere on the mainland. The job market doesn't seem too bad but to be honest I did not actually have to research it much as I got only applied at one place and got the job on the spot.

Seattle sounds like it could be a good fit for you. The cost of living is higher but it's not unreasonably so. The job market is decent (or least was last time I checked) and it has a strong lgbt community. The weather does get some people. It's not as bad as most people think but it is definitely dreary for much of the winter if you're used to sunshine. Another thing to consider is the Seattle freeze. It can be a difficult city to get to know people at first. (http://seattletimes.com/pacificnw/2005/0213/cover.html)

If you've got specific questions about either place I'd be happy to answer what I can.

The Exchange

I don't know about the cost of the Universities and Colleges in Florida but I do know that if you avoid the more popular areas (miami, Ft. Lauderdale, the keys) the cost of living is very low. Also I know that you want coastal-ish but even in the middle of Florida the drive time to either side is only 1.5 - 2 hours.
Here is a link to the wiki for Colleges and Universities in Florida. It tells you the city name for each also...
My first thought based on location and such was The New College of Florida in Sarosota....
anyway just tossing out a possibility...good luck.


I'd like to hear as much about Seattle as possible. I've made it my first choice, and applied to five jobs. The cost of living isn't a deal breaker as long as I can survive as an entry level office assistant (cheap apartments in cheap areas are perfectly acceptable). Rainy/overcast weather is fine with me. I quite like it.


Kelsey MacAilbert wrote:
Well, my worry with Texas is mostly from a legal standpoint. To change your gender in the eyes of the state, it takes a thousand dollars, a good lawyer, and the right judge.

I gather that Trinidad CO is a significant location for reassignment surgery. I have no idea how challenging the legal side is. I'd ask my TS pool friends, but I haven't seen them in months.

If you'd like me to ask around and do research, I can.


I would appreciate it. Thank you.

Can anyone compare Seattle, Boston, or similar cities to San Francisco or San Jose, cost of living wise? Comparing them to my home area would make it easier to understand.

Sovereign Court RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8

Kirth Gersen wrote:
Columbus, OH or Columbus, GA? Or some other Columbus?

There's another Columbus worth coming to, besides Ohio?


Cost of living is important, but only compared to income. It's generally better to make more in an expensive state than proportionally less in a less expensive state.
Just something to keep in mind.

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