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*Deleted from campaign discussion, because I accidentally posted it there, rather than here :P*
I'll go first :D
"Asmodeus' nostrils!"
Said by my rogue in PFS, when our new summoner summoned her eidolon.
"Iomedae's knickers!"
Said by my rogue in PFS, when he tried whispering something to his teammates from a distance, and they repeatedly failed to hear him.
"...Like wrestling a burning Manticore"
Said by my rogue in PFS, as the group discussed attacking an anchored pirate-ship.
"Cayden's blood!"
Said by my rogue in PFS, after getting damaged all the way to disabled, during a surprise-round.
"By every stone in the castle!"
Said by my Carrion Crown Magus, when the party confronted a boss-monster in a spooky castle.
"Eyes of the Ancients!"
Said by my Carrion Crown Magus, when attacked by burning skeletons.
"You have the charm of a cactus"
Said by my Carrion Crown Magus, to an innkeeper, after a disagreement involving the party druid.
"Plague take your families!"
Said by my Carrion Crown Magus, to a mob of peasants.
"As surely as stains on Calistria's mattress"
Said by rogue in PFS, when discussing the likelyhood that someone would betray us.
That's all I can think of right now.
Your turn :)
-Nearyn
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"Sometimes just being right is smug enough." -Vala Wolfer, Ranger
"Tombs are like puzzleboxes." -Leon Dumont, Cleric Librarian
"Wizards make bad enemies, and worse fathers." -Maggie Mastos, Wizard's Daughter
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"Let's just keep things professional."
"Well madam, you do know what the oldest profession is, mmmm?"
My bard
"QUAAAACK!"
Also my bard, as a warning signal for when I use Pyrotechnics.
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My favorite quotes from RPG sessions... originally posted on RPG Geek
AKA
Squirrlelly's Wall O' Shame
I search my skeleton for bones
Player 1: (Crit fail Perception): I see Sand!
Player 2: (Also Crit fail Perception): Are you sure?
Go help the others, this dire rat is almost dead. (Famous last words)
May I search your person?
Let's split up!
Player: So the ogre's not going to attack the guy who insulted him?
GM: Oh yeah. Good point. I forgot. 26 damage to the guy who insulted the ogre.
Player: Dammit!
Someday something is gonna screw you, and I'm gonna help it!
We still have a lot of gorgon poo, but that's because we haven't been to the store yet.
Character death is not a reward.
GM: Do you have any logs?
Player: No, but we have a dwarf.
I ride the half-ogre into the pit.
Cats could kick your ass!
I don't want to throw too many monkeys into the wrench.
What is the storage capacity of the human mouth?
Can we disable the floor?
This is insane, but I'll do it anyway.
GM: The magical banana disappears.
Player: Damn monkeybees
I apologize to the party in advance.
Does that make Rice-A-Roni(TM) the smoldering death-hole treat?
I am NOT a natural disaster!
I'm crazy, not stupid!
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*party discussing plans*
Feebleminded 1/2 Orc Barbarian: "Hrng!"
*party continues discussing plans*
Feebleminded 1/2 Orc Barbarian: "Rrhng!! Fhg-rurm!"
*party startled, suddenly paying attention to barbarian*
Feebleminded 1/2 Orc Barbarian, matter-of-factly: "Flim flam."
"I never should have left the island...." Hermean adventurer when something bad happens.
"Take your hat..." let the druid in bat form ride along with you, he can come in handy
"Wheeeeeee....." the sound a gnome makes just before he needs healing
"Murderhobos..." the actions of a typical pathfinder group.
Murderhobos! LOL
Yep.
In PFS, after an encounter.
Cleric of Urgathoa: Ok I summon a Cacodaemon to suck out the leaders soul!
DM: What about all the other people in the room?
Cleric: What people?
DM: There were a whole bunch of people cowering in the corners.
Cleric: Erm...You do know that I was channeling negative energy through that entire fight, and they would have been hit by it right?
DM: (Pauses. Checks his notes. Rolls a couple of dice) Ok, so you also have quite a few dead peasants in the room.....
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This one was from a group that played in the same club I used to play in.
DM: "You walk down the road, nearing town, and there's a dwarf standing in the middle of the road"
Party: "Okay, we walk around him I guess, and continue into town"
DM: "You what?!"
Party: "We walk around him"
DM: "There is a DWARF, standing in the middle of the road!"
Party: "Yes, and we go around him and continue!"
DM: "..."
*a bit later*
DM: "You all enter the very scummy tavern. It is dimly lit, the furniture has all seen better days and the bartender looks like someone placed a doped up gorilla in the room and then built a bar around it. 5 Red Dragons are playing cards at a corner table"
Party: "COME AGAIN?!"
DM: "5 Red Dragons are playing cards at... no wait, that's not right... who did I say was standing on the road, again?"
Apparently, good times were had :)
-Nearyn
"Holy crap! You're a wizard?"
I'm playing an arcane trickster so my spell casting has lagged behind. I've primarily used magic to enhance my rogue abilities. The above was said the first time I cast a fireball. At level 7.
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Okay, now I HAVE to have 5 red dragons playing cards in the corner of a tavern in my game!
Dragons Playing Poker has to be a lot more fun than Awakened Dogs Playing Poker. ;)
Dot.
Once, a friend's elf rogue got a magic longsword which, due to a fun-loving GM, glowed with pink light. It led my friend to the very unfortunate (for him, at least) battlecry of "Eat pink longsword!"
Another good one was a different friend of mine, playing a wizard, who tried to overcome a magical booby trap on some treasure by hiding it under some baskets. The GM responded, deadpan, "It's the kind of magic that's craftier than people with baskets."
And in my current Carrion Crown group, one of the players is a dhampir (and hiding it from the other PCs). We decided that, due to negative energy affinity, he could use a filled haunt siphon like a healing potion. One of the other players, who was cursed with paranoia at the time, saw this and promptly shouted, "He popped the top and drank the ghost!"
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*insert moral problem here*
Us - Yes but the dead are rising so we need to change with the times.
Not Pathfinder, but:
DM: Does anyone have Wilderness Survival?
Me: Who needs Wilderness Survival. We have a cart! We can just crush nature under its iron-shod wheels.
" 'Hey, y’all, watch this!' is NOT divine wisdom, and I don’t care if Cayden Cailean DID say it before taking the Test of the Starstone, he wouldn’t have been a god yet."
“By the blighted eyes of Baba Yaga’s baby-daddy”
"A Halfling?! I check my pockets!!"
"By Set's brass balls!"
"A bathrobe hides a multitude of sins."
"The Nazis! We're saved!"
"Don't put that in your mouth."
"That's right, bucko! Kickin' evil in the jimmy since 1947!"
"CORPSE-FLAAAAAAAAAIL!"
Said by my summoner's eidolon. He's got six arms, he's often enlarged, and he has the Catch Off-Guard feat.
"Stand back. That kender has a rod of wonder."
"Don't mention talking to that seagull at the trial."
"I told him to stop calling me a heretic."
"We carried that dingy everywhere."
"How tall is this cave?" said before summoning a herd of celestial bison.
DM: "The alter looks at you menicingly." PC wizard: "Quick, stone to mud!"
PC wizard: "You gave us that wand." DM: "and I regret it."
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In one game I regularly said 'Wubba Wubba Paff!" when casting curative spells. It became shorthand when one of the other party members, badly injured in a fight, looked at me doe-eyed, with a trembling lower lip, saying "Wubba Wubba Paff? Wubba Wubba Paff?"
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"I Don't Summon. I AM SUMMONED!"- said by my CN barbarian after being interrogated.
"This is taking too long." ::goes down the hall, comes upon an enemy, kills it, returns back to party. "You guys are still talking?"- same barbarian as above
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Wizard (explaining a prior encounter to an employeer): We did encounter a most formidable lich in the catacombs...
Barbarian: Not formidable enough!
Wizard: Indeed! Highfive!
*they highfive*
Our PFS group has a paladin known as the Russian nesting doll.
The paladin is also a shadow dancer, and keeps her shadow under her cloak.
My druid goes in the form of a diminutive bat and hides under her hood.
The druid often uses carry companion to have his velociraptor tag along in tiny pokeball form.
So the paladin opens to reveal a shadow, a druid, and a fully armored velociraptor.
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"Don't be a murder-hobo." In-game and out-of-game reference to "standard" adventurer tropes, like never having a home, owning property, paying taxes, and other civic duties, as well as solving every problem with a sword or fireball.
I use "Eurythnian" to refer to hedonism and open sexuality in Golarion, but I don't think anyone else in the group notices or cares. They just want my wizard to shut it and blow everything up.
Yes, that group is mostly murder-hobos.
We've also turned a joke on a Superego podcast into a term for insanity: "moon thoughts." Ostensibly a reference to Groetus, and also a kind of wordplay on the literal meaning of lunacy.
I'm Dming an Cale the Calistrian from the module Flight of the Red Raven and the other player is playing a Human Varisian Alchemist named Boris:
Cale: ''I won't go further than this camp, if you want to follow him, you can go.''
Boris: ''I ask for repayment! You slowed us down! Played dirty and worst , you might cause the death of a hundred of innocent people!''
Cale: ''I did what I needed to do, I won't attack, nor help you. I'll help a friend; I won't help those villagers.''
Boris: ''As you wish, but for every villagers dead because of this, I'll come back to kill one of your men.''
Cale: ''You're serious? Damn, we are only 10... I think you'll need more bandits. May I suggest you go slaughter your own people, since Varisian are known to be worst than us. Oh! Or better, start by yourself!''
Pissed off, he continued his journey.
Since that time, my players talk about ''the annoying racist elf'' every time they see a Varisian.
This was between My level 13, neutral wizard in Carrion crown, and his best friend and moral mentor, the CG Oracle/Barb Rage Profit... Yes you read that right!
Group gets Unholy Blighted
Dexion: "Ha!, That the best you've got.. Amature"
Westfield (Rage Profit, notices the wizard is nearly unharmed): "We are going to have a serious talk about this!"
Lythander (Party rogue, fails will save): I dont feel so good....
Dexion (Wizard) : "Oh gods, I realy am a horrible person!"
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GMing a homebrew game once, and the party was guarding a caravan going through the mountains headed towards the dwarven capital. On the way they hear the sounds of a struggle, and three orcs are trying to rough up a dwarven woman (who turns out to be the king's daughter). After they rescue her, completely oblivious to who she is, the caravan master comes up, and I got a little too far into the roleplaying without realizing what I was saying.
"Don't you know who this is. She's the son of the dwarven king!!"
......meant to say daughter......
Anyways, for the rest of the campaign there was the running joke that the dwarven princess was actually a rather gender-confused prince.
RPG Superstar 2010 Top 8
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"Don't be a murder-hobo." In-game and out-of-game reference to "standard" adventurer tropes, like never having a home, owning property, paying taxes, and other civic duties, as well as solving every problem with a sword or fireball.
I use "Eurythnian" to refer to hedonism and open sexuality in Golarion, but I don't think anyone else in the group notices or cares. They just want my wizard to shut it and blow everything up.
Yes, that group is mostly murder-hobos.
We've also turned a joke on a Superego podcast into a term for insanity: "moon thoughts." Ostensibly a reference to Groetus, and also a kind of wordplay on the literal meaning of lunacy.
Also, you forgot "Are you the Male or the Female of your species?"
"Bri-ttack it!" - Refrence to a fighter who had to count up all his bonus to hit and damage, usally splattering something with the hit.
"You really should surrender." - Said by the one human in an all monsterous party as he limped forward through the burning building.
"I used to be a pig farmer, but after the cockatrice, now I sell pig statues." - NPC Pig Statue seller, total throw away NPC that shows up way to often in games now.
"That's Ustalav!" - From our Carrion Crown game, to explain anything weird.
EDIT: "Bellhold" - Refrence to a game my wife ran, we failed the module(Of Sound Mind), we ran away. Good times.
