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Hey yo, that thread sure is chaotic and massive, this is an attempt to be tidy also I will actually review every item posted... Here is first page.
1)Chelish Silver-Tongued Devil
Good: Interesting flavor and theme
Bad: public vote and you are making me look up rules
Ugly: Cut second paragraph entirely adds gross out factor and goes 1 step too far.
Overall: Middling item, doesn't suck but doesn't win over allot of items
2)Gentleman’s Ensnaring Cane
Good: Name rocks, cool visual description, pricing is fair, and theme is on point and this has that flair I'd expect from a top 32 item.
Bad: 4 targets 100' might be a little much
Ugly: No mention of flying, also ensnared creatures should get escape artist check ect. Might be a little overpowered.
Overall: I actually dig this especially as a villain's item, never saw it would have voted it up had I. Top 32 material for me.
3) Ghoulslayer Gloves
Good: Like the name, effect is neato, good formatting entry is short which is a plus with public voting.
Bad: Niche, possible too niche for a public vote
Ugly: For my money I want either gloves that give me reach spell or if it only effect cure spells let its curative properties also become reach effect.
Overall: design in a less niche space, and execution is a little flat for me, middling item doesn't suck or wow me.
4) Ethos Swarm Charm
Good: Formatted well, writing is concise shows restraint, and you ran with your premise/theme well.
Bad: Didn't show off your writing skills so even if public loves it judges won't really see you shine as a writer.
Ugly: Its a polymorph in a can, albeit a different form than normal its functional just not that exciting. There's a similar item in the top 32 that does this cooler.
Overall: I see potential in you by your formatting and restrained writing but I need a superstar concept and this just wasn't one. Middling item for me as many will be.
5) Porcine Pendant
Good: This was a favorite for me and I actually saved this one b/c I loved it. Theme is fun and I love the image of a fey pig charming a crowd.
Bad: Cut the sentence that begins with In addition, for some reason its just a little too much, spend those word on cleaning up the returns to form sentence which also needs work.
Ugly: Pricing seems off, while I find item charming it can be misinterpreted as a joke item which folks do not appreciate and will ding you for.
Overall: I'd make my top 32 but I am not a judge. Something about the last 2 sentences ruin it a little for me though I have trouble quantifying that.
6) Siegebreaker Cymbals:
Good: Neat idea, an instrument that overcomes DR
Bad: I had to reread it a few times to "get it" I didn't bother during voting and downvoted you a few times as a result.
Ugly: Name while awesome makes me think its going to bring down fortifications and it doesn't do that. That expectation hurts the item. Writing could be allot clearer.
Overall: Better than the cull items but would lose allot of middling pairings do to disconnect from name and function.
7) Amulet of the Grasping Soul
Good: Mechanics make sense, targets a niche that is useful to a story, takes an item slot which is usually a good sign, and template on point.
Bad: Dislike name, overpriced, niche is not common enough for price
Ugly: Functional but here's the wow factor?
Overall: Lower side of middling, wouldn't call a cull item but wouldn't object either.
8) Candle of Distant Assurance
Good: I like the story element of this, the cost, and the image I get of an adventurer's spouse taking comfort in the steady flame that represents proof of life.
Bad: No flash, great item but not superstar
Ugly: The name is awkward, and this is niche non PC item
Overall: I'll likely steal it but I don't expect it to become a central plot point or item someone will get jazzed about in a treasure pile. Upper middling for me.
9) Fiddle of the Dance
Good: I love magic instruments so good design space, cute first effect the extra 5 ft step for all allies in 30' is actually quite powerful.
Bad: "ooh what a feeling to be dancing on the ceiling" is not a song, concept or for anyone who has seen the video visual image you want associated with your item.
Ugly: The name makes me want a devil went down to Georgia vibe meets irresistible dance item and I get a huge disconnect from name to function.
Overall: Middling- I liked other instruments better but you won some pairings for sure.
10) Handkerchief of the Scoured Visage
Good: Well thought out mechanics, theme and function match name, and no obvious format errors.
Bad: Complicated description and effect forces reread which is bad sign
Ugly: Niche space with gross out factor, bit about living or dead distracts for some reason.
Overall: Never saw it in voting, not bad not great- lower middling because of voter fatigue which will happen to complex items.
11) Intellectual's Clay Pipe
Good: Allot of the best items are short! Easily comprehensible, formatted well, and price to effect ratio is right on the money for me.
Bad: Name makes me think of snooty college student with hipster facial hair. That's bad.
Ugly: Skill bonuses are not superstar
Overall: Great balanced item I'd totally use in a game but no wow which makes you upper middling at best.
12) Wings, Resplendent Battle
Good: Format is good writing is clear, this helps the item allot. not a wall of text, stuck to a theme with wow factor.
Bad: Swiss Army Knife- does too much in my opinion as it gives allot of options
Ugly: Price is too low for number of options and effects. weird as shoulder piece would like better as a standard.
Overall: Feels Paladin-ie which is one of those classes that no one agrees on and turns me off. Middling for me.
13) Time's Tide Pendant
Good: Formatted well, not OP time themed item, mechanics solid.
Bad: Third power is where you lose me, price too low with 3rd power.
Ugly: You're lucky to get a read with a time themed item, I almost always hate them as a DM
Overall: 13 is not a lucky number not a purge item by any means but one I'm more than likely to vote down out of DM fueled spite lower middling, sorry.
14) Orator’s Torc
Good: Well designed, I like torcs, I like items that enhance your presence on battlefield
Bad: Nicely designed but not exactly a wow factor here.
Ugly: First sentence describing the item makes me like the item less, if that was cut or placed later I might like it more.
Overall: Not bad, not great middling for me can see the top 89 but lacks pizazz.
15) Orb of Aggravation
Good: Annoyance item sweet, I have what I call an annoyance wizard he'd love this...
Bad: Oh but its favored by rogues, you see what you did there? Take out the random and pick an effect, 2-3 if you want there to be options random = less desirable because its less dependable.
Ugly: Severely under priced for its power. Price matters.
Overall: Concept = Awesome, execution = not awesome. Lower middling for me.
16) Elixir of Last Will
Good: Concept is sound, prevent death or if dead help party member not die... I really like that!
Bad: First sentence is really clunky, distractingly so. I might not read the rest based on that sentence alone.
Ugly: Price. Why wouldn't I drink this before every big battle, at that price couldn't afford not to, it could save me from death via stabilize or save my buddy so he can resurrect me.
Overall: Bold concept mired with sloppy pricing and weak editing. say editing because I saw enough to know you can craft a better sentence than what you submitted, just being honest. Lower middling for me.
17) Shroud of Certain Return
Good: Takes the random out of reincarnate which ruin some people's characters.
Bad: Takes the fun out of reincarnate because it removes the random!
Ugly: Lets twink gamers reincarnate as whatever race min maxes them better, I want one that make me a drow noble I get the SLAs too right!
Overall: Tight design but not upper middling for me b/c of the abuse angle more like middle middle I'm sorry to say. Design was tight, bring more wow next year though.
18) Findeladlara’s Brush
Good: Like concept, painting a permanent minor image until disbelieved, that's close to superstar for me.
Bad: Name and opening sentence frak it up, its not a pathfinder name they got away from names like tenser's floating disk its just floating disk. cut opening sentence entirely, it's kind of cheesy my little pony-ish (back off bronies I don;t want to hear it)
Ugly: Painting = 2d, illusion = 3d, hard to see adventurers use so relegated to story item.
Overall: So in love with the concept, not digging the execution middle middling to me.
19)Hunter's Geas
Good: like the name, concept is fun, writing and formatting is solid outside not having name in original submission.
Bad: While writing is solid I still had to reread the item to get it, simply and break up the text wall a bit. Bullet points help
Ugly: Price, this time its too expensive for a +1-2 item, misses an opportunity to evoke a fairytale feel
Overall: could develop to a solid item, needs more flair for superstar. Lower middling for me mostly due to format error on top of lack luster concept for me.
20) Garter of Hidden Fortune Aura
Good: Well considered prerequisites, flavor has some fun
Bad: Does allot, teleportation power makes it over the top for me.
Ugly: How am I going to take you and your item seriously when you name an item of women's underclothing a hidden fortune. At best the name makes me think you an immature frat type, at worst you offend off the female vote entirely.
Overall: Wouldn't make the cull, its a bag of holding with a name that creates a hostile gaming environment.
21) Ointment of Last Sight
Good: Solid design, written clear and concisely, like theme and utility.
Bad: Now wow factor that makes me pause.
Ugly: Prerequisites and price seem off.
Overall: Middling. Item is functional well written but no wow for me, could see using in homebrew.
22)Tabard of Cunning Tactics
Good: Name and descriptions make a solid first impression, second power is a buried lead so to speak.
Bad: First power is tied to a crappy feat
Ugly: name and first line of description sets high bar powers do not meet. Like the number on the check, but it bounced at the bank.
Overall: If you call an item tactical it better delver a sold set of tactical options I can use ans somewhat abuse creatively. Middling.
23) Chalice of Communal Dweomer
Good: Name matches effect and mechanics are clear and well written entry.
Bad: Price doesn't meet effect power
Ugly: Straight up overpowered for me, for the price of 4 potions I can make 1 potion effect everyone in a 4 person party.
Overall: I didn't get to vote on this, I would have voted down mostly, for me this is lower middling- the public liked it so kudos.
24) Vest of Mongrelkind
Good: Great name, first paragraph sells me
Bad: Even with your edit second paragraph confuses me, what's a race point? OH you gave a link- you still could have lost the second paragraph in all honesty
Ugly: 2nd paragraph confuses the item too much, but without it it needs another power...
Overall: I have trouble voting on items that use unfamiliar mechanics but I love the name and the stuff that is familiar is great, middling to upper middling for me.
25) First Light
Good: Has that cinematic vibe the judges look for, fantastic name
Bad: Find the mechanics predictable though, they fall short of wowing me.
Ugly: Remember watching lord of the rings trilogy waiting for Gandolf to start throwing down some fireballs but instead he cast light a bunch particularly on his staff? This is that, I want fireball.
Overall: Solid design, lots of potential, I think its me, I just don;t like light themed items- but maybe I'm bot alone. Middling concept with awesome execution makes upper middling for me.
26) Shadow Sentry
Good: Name, template, on point and I see some potential in the concept.
Bad: Camping item, no DC on tripwire itself
Ugly: DC on will save too low for the cost of the item, hunter's noise on top of darkness spell a little over the top.
Overall: Solid for the level of experience you say you have, Middling to lower middling for me though.
27) Tempest Regalia
Good: Like theme, very tight item design, has allot of cool factor for me.
Bad: Less likely to vote for you when I have to look things up
Ugly: Underpriced, I'd double it in my homebrew it essentially gives a feat bonus to a section of spells a skill bonus albeit to a specific populace and all the combat man. benefits of increased size with none of the negs. which equals at least another feat.
Overall: Never saw it to vote on but could have made my top 32 or could have fallen just a little outside.
28) Tablet of Heretical Lore
Good: Love the name, love the effect, love the mechanics
Bad: Price is way off mark needs to be higher- OR
Ugly: Its OP as written, maybe max out the spell level?
Overall: To me this is what I wanted the icon of aspects to be, if you read my review. That said the designer there did a better job writting and pricing, your idea is more superstar to me, his execution is more superstar and his idea close. Upper middling for me.
29)Nethian Scroll Tube
Good: Shows allot of promise, like the Goloran link, like the ash effect and the heighten effect.
Bad: Underpriced with the effects I like.
Ugly: Unlimited spell diversity for the owner of the scroll case. Scrolls are not that expensive, now my wizard can cast resurrection and my cleric wish, this is overpowered in the extreme.
Overall: There were allot of bad scroll tubes this year, remove the line that creates my ugly an raise the price you got a middling to upper middling item here, as written I would cull this...
Wow, thought voting was hard. That's the first page I will review all items in this thread (unless the man shuts me down!) I will also post my own item for others to critique tomorrow. I'm off to bed now, Cheers!
Bad: Third power is where you lose me, price too low with 3rd power.
Not quite sure what you're objecting to. I think it's only got two powers.
But, yeah, I took a chance with using time as my fluff to play with initiative and I don't think it paid off.
Thanks for the critique on my Tablet.
One question, though, given your ugly comment: did you get that you don't get an extra slot in any way, it just lets you exchange your normal domain options for one from a domain you don't have? A cleric with fire and healing domains can choose between cure light wounds and burning hands for first level. This item lets him choose longstrider from the travel domain instead, find a cleric with the travel domain to help him, and now he can make a special offering to appease his god in order to get this special consideration. He still has to prepare it and cast it normally.
Thanks for doing this. I like these bullet point reviews.
Regarding my item, you were concerened with "Ugly: Unlimited spell diversity for the owner of the scroll case. Scrolls are not that expensive, now my wizard can cast resurrection and my cleric wish, this is overpowered in the extreme."
This is only true if the spell is on both Arcane and Divine lists. So if a cleric writes a scroll of resurrection, then a witch could use the scroll but a wizard could not. (Aside from the usual Use Magic Device work arounds.)
The goal was to allow the use cure light wounds for bards and dispel magic for clerics dispite being on the wrong kind of scroll. It seems that I should have focused on that and dropped the other stuff. But it seemed appropriate for a god of magic.
Again, thank you for taking the time to look at our items.
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Insomnia + Friday + Ambition = Frak it lets take on page 2!
30) Amulet of Amended Strategy
Good: Name meets mechanics, writing is tightly packed and easy to digest these things matter.
Bad: The readied action comes up very rarely with my crew maybe 1/3 of all sessions does someone bother and its usually me trying to pull something clever. design space is very niche indeed.
Ugly: Lets say you're that guy that uses readied actions 5 times a session, you still needs something weird to go down where that guy wants to change his mind! You designed for an extremely rare problem.
Overall: Design was tight, idea too far out of box, lesser middle for me
31) Circlet of Malevolent Eyes
Good: Name is sweet, actually love this is a ranger item, thematically tight, and of course masterfully templated.
Bad: Name makes me expect a visual effect like all-round vision this disconnect with effect, on that note...
Ugly: I reread this 4 times and maybe its too late in the evening but I'm still unclear what this does. Didn't encounter it voting but I would reread an item once if I still didn't get it it lost the pairing unless I actively hated the other item.
Overall: I wanted to like this, to be honest its better then the cull items but lower middle for me because of the lack of clarity. I get it interacts with ranger's favored enemy bonus but not what the transfer is all about... sorry bro
32) Immediate Chant
The Good: Name, mechanics, and requirements all make sense- you get the structure and bones of design.
The Bad: Ok let me recast first spell I cast near it that day fourth level or under, that it?
The Ugly: This is a reskinned pearl of power unless I missed something cool?
Overall: I'm being harsh a little, execution very solid, idea not superstar lower middling for me.
33) Nautilus Pack of Tangled Tentacles
The Good: Mechanics are solid, theme is fun, and its an original idea for a backpack for sure!
The Bad: Given the abilities of this I'd try to sunder it, I need a HP and hardness in the description, also price is low since these break some action economy
The Ugly: I need specific number of tentacles, can this sucker move independently, what if wearer falls unconscious while these are active.
Overall: never saw these while voting would have made my top 32 if I did I really really like these, possibly more than some of the actual top 32
34)The Lonely Man’s Instant Party
The Good: Ok the theme and mechanics of this thing are straight up awesome-sauce
The Bad: Lose the lonely man bit, name's matter- even just Instant party is a better name.
The Ugly: Great distract/get away item but that's a niche and this is one use makes it hard sell for superstar
Overall: Lower Upper end for me not top 32 but top 100 yeah fer sure.
35) Choker of Subtle Sound
The Good: Just wow! Blindsight, silent spell for bards, you play with sound in an interesting well thought out way. Writing is concise and provocative really solid entry!
The Bad: I dislike the name about as much as I love the entry.
The Ugly: Not worth cost if you are not a bard, makes it niche which divides some votes.
Overall: I love it another top tier item for me, top 32 candidate at least makes my keep folder. I'm likely to steal for my kingmaker campaign.
36) Ultimate Adventurer’s Egg
The Good: I like the description and the way this thing has mechanical components the character can manipulate to gain different effects, that's neat as heck.
The Bad: Name is terrible, you wouldn't name a holy avenger ultimate paladin sword right?
The Ugly: OK so there are light drawbacks to some uses but this thing has allot of uses and is way too inexpensive for what it does. This is the swiss army knife design trap.
Overall: I like it and I ave concerns with it middling for me.
37) Mark of the Leech
The Good: Name and functional mechanics smoothly conjoin, writing is clear which is very important.
The Bad: It's a burst form of vampiric touch with a gross out factor
The Ugly: What happens when you have living and undead within 30' Does the user gain and lose the Hp at the same time? There's mechanic issues here.
Overall: Hard to like for me, prejudiced to the theme I dislike the image of sticking a leech on your forehead and not overly fond of negative energy items. Lower middle for me.
38) Blightstone
The Good: Like that you used sling/grenade ammo as your design space. Pretty original delivery and effect.
The Bad: I expect some defoliation because of the name!
The Ugly: Pick a darn effect and roll with it user's choice is a design cop out to me.
Overall: Too much variation of effect is a bug turn off for me, DMs hate getting blindsided not quite a cull item but not middling either.
39) Skein Helm
The Good: Nice unique party travel item. Like price and effect.
The Bad: Beastshape is enough lose the overland flight bit
The Ugly: Useful item but not superstar materiel, the part of the story where the heroes turn into Geese and fly for nine hours isn't the part you love to read right?
Overall: Nice utility item, fun concept but not a superstar idea middling for me.
40) Mantle of a Thousand Hands
The Good: Dam cool visual which is why it is an alternate. Good writing and design overall, I like it better than some of the top 32.
The Bad: Price is a little low, you are right to be concerned, this can break action economy with the right character build.
The Ugly: Needs some clarifications or errata, can I have it hold a wand and activate said wand? can I say cast grease to disarm a foe then have the hands swipe up the weapon for me?
Overall: Upper middling to lower tops for me but hey congrats on being an alternate...
Will finish page 2 tomorrow... again I will get to everyone in the thread
Thanks, Solspiral. Step to far is a take away from your review. Makes sense and some others have mirrored it.
Thanks for the critique on my Tablet.
One question, though, given your ugly comment: did you get that you don't get an extra slot in any way, it just lets you exchange your normal domain options for one from a domain you don't have? A cleric with fire and healing domains can choose between cure light wounds and burning hands for first level. This item lets him choose longstrider from the travel domain instead, find a cleric with the travel domain to help him, and now he can make a special offering to appease his god in order to get this special consideration. He still has to prepare it and cast it normally.
Yeah I totally got that I just think you need to cut it off at 5th level domain spells (or thereabouts) for the price given. With the higher level spells and wealth I can pay other clerics for nice shiny spells I might not otherwise have and clerics are already a tier 1 caster. The spell versatility option for the item needs a cap or maybe a greater lesser version with different prices. That's just my 2 copper.
Thanks for doing this. I like these bullet point reviews.
Regarding my item, you were concerened with "Ugly: Unlimited spell diversity for the owner of the scroll case. Scrolls are not that expensive, now my wizard can cast resurrection and my cleric wish, this is overpowered in the extreme."
This is only true if the spell is on both Arcane and Divine lists. So if a cleric writes a scroll of resurrection, then a witch could use the scroll but a wizard could not. (Aside from the usual Use Magic Device work arounds.)
The goal was to allow the use cure light wounds for bards and dispel magic for clerics dispite being on the wrong kind of scroll. It seems that I should have focused on that and dropped the other stuff. But it seemed appropriate for a god of magic.
Again, thank you for taking the time to look at our items.
Misread it I guess, I read it as a power of the scrollcase that caster could cast scrolls thru it arcane or divine. If the text is clearer than that consider a revised review of, wow cool scroll case :p
Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9
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33) Nautilus Pack of Tangled Tentacles
The Good: Mechanics are solid, theme is fun, and its an original idea for a backpack for sure!
The Bad: Given the abilities of this I'd try to sunder it, I need a HP and hardness in the...
The Good: Thank you very much, I appreciate that.
The Bad: Hp and Hardness! That was an oversight! Still the item clocked in at 298 words after tweaks so I was out of room for those details anyway. I actually increased the price because of the action economy stuff, my rationale is it works for 1 min/day, and that minute needs to be used all at once. Aka: Pull Ripcord for one combat.The Ugly: the idea is that it has however many tentacles as it has items in the pack +1, growing a new tentacle every time they become full. The carrying capacity of the pack prevents abuse (5 cubic ft of material or 50 pounds). Since a Swift action is required to direct the Steal or Disarm it can't move independently or while unconscious (no need to write an exception, swift actions can't be taken while unconscious or stunned or paralysed).
Overall: Seriously thank you, for both the critique and the praise. It really helps to know I'm on the right track creatively and in my design-fu.
Bad: Third power is where you lose me, price too low with 3rd power.Not quite sure what you're objecting to. I think it's only got two powers.
But, yeah, I took a chance with using time as my fluff to play with initiative and I don't think it paid off.
I interpret this as an unintended power
The delay effect supersedes a target's readied action, which is not triggered before the target's new initiative count; the target may take any remaining actions it has available in the round at its new initiative or continue its readied action.
You can do that to an ally with a stupid readied action that is no longer relevant and grant them a change in initiative which wold supersede there prepped action allowing them to change it unless I'm missing something which is possible. That = 3rd power. Also, your item is complicated it hurts your vote counts as people will snap decide on the time they understand better if there's a tie. Makes you feel better my item was also overcomplicated.
16) Elixir of Last Will
Good: Concept is sound, prevent death or if dead help party member not die... I really like that!
Bad: First sentence is really clunky, distractingly so. I might not read the rest based on that sentence alone.
Ugly: Price. Why wouldn't I drink this before every big battle, at that price couldn't afford not to, it could save me from death via stabilize or save my buddy so he can resurrect me.
Overall: Bold concept mired with sloppy pricing and weak editing. say editing because I saw enough to know you can craft a better sentence than what you submitted, just being honest. Lower middling for me.
Yeah, that first sentence was hard. I had to present the item and a bit of what it, while hooking the readers. It turned out not so great. I guess the name alone wasn't enough. So should it had been split up? If so, how? The advice would be welcome as English is not my native tongue (French is).
For the price, I new it was low, but for what it did (and it did it on a very special trigger), it seemed ok. Plus I followed the price guide to the letter. I'm not sure how I would have marked up the price.
Before I continue I'm posting a little explanation as to why my format. Aside from the fact that bullet points are easy to digest and the reference to the western, the bad and ugly weight it towards what needs change. The ugly being worse than the bad for me. Why so negative? This is a repost from a comment I made elsewhere but holds true:
I love kitchen nightmares with Gordon Ramsey, its very simular to Restaurant Impossible, where a celeb chef is trying to fix a failing restaurant in quick order.
What's my point? I learned a valuable lesson from Gordon one episode where he went in the back of a terrible restaurant and the guy had all his positive comment cards hung up.
Gordon predictably cussed the man out and explained, "positive comment cards are garbage because they don't teach you anything, the negative ones are telling you WHAT YOU NEED TO FIX TO GET BETTER." Caps were because he shouted that. It changed how I viewed criticism.
BACK TO WORK!
41) Meddler’s Mirror
The good: Love the alliterative name, reading entry made me think of evil step mom from snow white's mirror, did the casting option.
The Bad: This is a really complexly written stationary scrying item unless I misread it, that its hard to read and not super original is an issue for me.
The Ugly: I reread it 3-4 times, yes I'm tired but I also read technical manuals for work and a variety of literature for fun, my reading comp is high- if you need more text to explain rather than show what your item does then something went wrong.
Overall: Better than most culled items but could have been culled for me.
42) Disappearing Weapon Cord
The Good: I dig on the upgrade to an under designed space, name states what it does, prerequisits make sense as does the price.
The Bad: missing design elements, how does it interact with say quickdraw and sudden strike do I get a big bonus since its being drawn from an invisible extra dimensional space?
The Ugly: I love utility items but this is going to lose against items with more character like patchwork cat in a public vote and items with more flash like the gloves of flame command with the judges.
Overall: You already know what I'm saying with my The ugly point, so design for your audience or design for yourself and become a 3PP. I for one would buy your work Meepo, and consequently this is outside my top 32 this year but just. Top 50 for me.
43) Escapee’s Spoon
The Good: Quirky item that does what you'd expect with the name. Well written entry, kind of fun idea.
The Bad: Such a niche space to design in, if I want to play a D&D adaptation of Shawshank Redemption this is my item!
The Ugly: Its expensive for what it does.
Overall: I still like it, the ranged touch attack is fun the illusion covering the hole, it won plenty of match ups but took some losses too. Middling item but fun.
44) Octavo of Perseverance
The Good: Fits in with goloran, effects are clear and balanced with price whcih is hard.
The Bad: Voting public can truly love pathfinder as a system and not give a dam about goloran- you alienate them by not inviting them to the party.
The ugly: actually see no reason why this had to be Desna specific any deity could have a version of this, and the name is awful, sorry quantifying that is hard its prolly octivo not a common use word.
Overall: Middling item for me.
45) Fleshwarping Unguent
The Good: options on effects which makes utility good here. Name makes sense as do mechanics.
The Bad: Gross out factor little high, name doesn't help with that.
The Ugly: mentioning the drow was a mistake with the entry for me, unneeded detail also yeah price way the heck off the mark, especially with the addiction drawback!
Overall: Price + Drawback + Mention of Drow = Lower end of middling, good writing and template saves from cull for me.
46) Glove of Saturation
The Good: Cool concept its a reloadable liquid blaster, would love to see a naval battle with these and alchemist fire!
The Bad: Some liquids should make the gloves make an item save acid in particular, for me that's a slight balance issue.
The Ugly: Price is too low as this extends range of a splash based attack and is reusable and targets touch ac and essentially gives poison use. In the hands of a creative player these are super-clutch and highway robbery at the price point you gave.
Overall: The underpricing prolly bugged the judges allot otherwise really nice item deserves high rank but also not in my top 32.
47) Sash of Singularity
The Good: Unique concept, cool factor and design is solid with both bonuses and drawbacks and I love the name.
The Bad: Something bugs me, needs some errata like does this say cancel feather fall ect.
The Ugly: I killed the bad guy and now I want his magic sash but I can't untie it because he weighs 5,000 lbs and fell face first. Needs more text here.
Overall: Cool item, design flaws can be fixed with maybe a limited duration/command word trigger. Middling for me.
48) Skinthief’s Fetish
The Good: Villain item clearly and one that can let them pull some identity theft shenanigans which I like.
The Bad As you yourself mentioned there's a lack of polish in the writing maybe 1 more edit.
The Ugly: Serious grossout not good with public vote, a little over the top.
Overall: design is sound, you alienated the voting public{ learn form it. Not going to beat you up on SIAC its fine when done right, middling to upper middling for me.
That's first 2 pages of critique my item done. In case folk are wondering yes I will do this to my own item.
Thanks GM_Solspiral for the critique on the Intellectual's Clay Pipe. I agree 110% that there just isn't any wow factor to the item and I realized that about a week after submitting.
FYI feel free to use it in a game.
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Thanks GM_Solspiral for the critique on the Intellectual's Clay Pipe. I agree 110% that there just isn't any wow factor to the item and I realized that about a week after submitting.
FYI feel free to use it in a game.
I do like it though. I can see a bard using it in particular to boost his already impressive pull bs facts out of the airness.
Dedicated Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8
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Hi GM_Solspiral, thanks for taking the time to critique my porcine pendant. I'm glad that you liked it but also appreciate the constructive areas for improvement. I think I've learned a lot through the process and look forward to next year.
I interpret this as an unintended powerThe delay effect supersedes a target's readied action, which is not triggered before the target's new initiative count; the target may take any remaining actions it has available in the round at its new initiative or continue its readied action.
You can do that to an ally with a stupid readied action that is no longer relevant and grant them a change in initiative which wold supersede there prepped action allowing them to change it unless I'm missing something which is possible. That = 3rd power. Also, your item is complicated it hurts your vote counts as people will snap decide on the time they understand better if there's a tie. Makes you feel better my item was also overcomplicated.
Ah, thanks. You're right, I hadn't thought of that as an intended power. I was more trying to clarify that a readied action wasn't triggered during the time someone was delayed but that it wouldn't then force someone to continue doing that through the entire next round when the readied action may no longer be applicable. Alas, unintended consequences.
And, yeah, I think you're right about the overcomplicatedness... Lesson learned for next year.
Going to Dive right into Page 3
49) Cloak of Duality
The Good: The first 2 sentences of this entry are as good as I've seen. The description rolls into the effect rather nicely, overall this is well written and well designed. It also has that cinematic quality the judges would have like if this got that far (it didn't)
The Bad: There was at least 1 crappy version of this that likely got confused with yours and hurt the votes. You also might lose some DMs as soon as they see you split into 2 and that clone is in requiremnts
The Ugly: In all honesty I downvoted you more then I upvoted you then I gave this another read and started to like and upvote it. In reality this has great game balance, style, and is well written (though break up the wall of text) prolly upper middle maybe even top 50 materiel for me but its a scary design space and likely got misinterpreted by many GMs as an action economy nightmare.
50) Obi of the Ghoul Hunter
The Good: This is a monk item which could use some design love, I ike the description of the item and there's some great design choices like the unarmed damage being a size category lower (though you assumed everyone is medium.)
The Bad: Some awkward mechanics under the hood. The aforementioned strikes as a small creature bit, 2nd power of disruption not needed seems thrown in, 3rd power finally gives something to non-monks but don't worry only monks would wear this anyway.
The Ugly: 2 major issues, the name implies we're going to kick ghoul but when in fact this just has a decent effect when the ghoul is kicking our but let me rephrase that our monk 's butt. The name is misleading and doesn't indicate that this is primarily a monk's item. Way underpriced for the number of powers and effects.
Overall: The disconnect really hurts this entry for me, I love the first 2 paragraphs and really dislike the latter 2 powers. The name issue and pricing issue makes this just past surviving the cull for me, lower middling.
51) Bowstring of Additional Might
The Good: Name matches effect, fits a common cross class niche very nicely addressing that archery style can be a little MAD at times.
The Bad: Lose the drawback snap mechanic, it strikes me as insecure designing and stands out in a bad way. You don't see this kind of mechanic in published items and if you want 5% followed on a nat 1 that's another nat 1.
The Ugly: Replace the drawback mechanic with an actual hp and hardness, my rogue cuts bowstrings allot, I have an archer with y shaped arrows that likes to ranged sunder bowstrings- this is an area that gets targeted.
Overall: nice elegant utility item that is ready to use minus the mechanic mentioned, but not exactly superstar its a stat add niche item at the end of the day. Upper middling for me but I love utility items.
52) Motive Capacitor
The Good: I'll be running Citadel of Pain as a side trek in my kingmaker game, this would do well in that setting or Numeria and I thinks its both balanced and very interestingly designed.
The Bad: Name is a turn off for people that don't like sci-fi mixed i their fantasy, beware of you audience.
The Ugly: The "less one for each 5 HD the target has" mechanic is awkward and repeated. Remember THAC0? I had absolutely no problem with the negative numbers. Want to start a tirade on these boards post a thread in general discussion called "lets bring back THAC0." Thsi mechanic gives the THAC0 vibe.
Overall: I like the item but I'm the kind of guy that likes this kind of item, I can see the public being harsher on this but middling for me.
53) Spellvoid Mantle
The Good: Powerfully good name, one of the best names of all the items I saw and that was quite a few. description is wll wirrten and mechanics are fair.
The Bad: Look at your first sentence and tell me what's missing from your prerequisits. If you say but that's optional you don't need noqual and other sky metals then you are going to lose me I'm afraid.
The Ugly: On one hand this evens the playing field for fighters vs casters, on the other hand my buff cleric is not a fan of you for wearing this.
Overall: Not in love I'm afraid. I could see this as a great villain item but I could see my PCs being less jazzed about this as treasure as it screws everyone who casts spells but my guys are very much team players. Lower middling for me, but I can totally see using this with a villain like say Baron Delev in KM 4.
54) Amulet of Construct Skin
The Good: Like options like using HP to repair constructs, the sacrifice bit seems pretty good and I'm not too concerned about the price but...
The Bad: Bad design choice for mechanics as you automatically alienate anyone who is unfamiliar with actually creating and managaing constructs.
The Ugly: Have to force myself to read past first sentence, as a voter if I don't like a first sentence I'm looking at the other item and trying to find a reason to vote for it. I know I'm not alone on that first sentence can sink you.
Overall: lower tier for me absolutely purge-able based on how difficult a niche this is and that first sentence made this hard to like.
55) Stolen Tears of the Winter Witch
The Good: practically poetic first line, love the theme, mechanic of consumption is awesome and has a nice cinematic flavor.
The Bad: I want to raise price b/c of effect but its a consumable, hard call and confusion over pricing can make you lose pairing against other good items.
The Ugly: Name has a PF class in it and that's a mistake, sets an expectation that the class mentioned will get extra benefit. Voters also hate looking up rules for an item, careful were you tread.
Overall: Great item, useful for that villain that wants to escape and create a hazard. Might use in conjunction with say carnival of tears. Upper middling for me, possible top 50 but not top 32 for me.
56) Sea Nettle Submersible
The Good: Super glad you posted this so I can frakin' steal it. This was a personal top 32 for me as it solves a problem, has cool visual and description.
The Bad: Its a magic item, don't restrict it to salt water!
The Ugly: For its size I want more swim speed, also while frickin' love this thing its clearly niched materiel and questionable superstar for lack of flair.
Overall: With a slight modification I'm using this, love this and think its superstar for me, but I'm not a judge...
57) Gloves of Silent Echoes
The Good: Cool name, great description, and I like that you broke up the text a little.
The Bad: The mechanics of this thing are a little too oddball for my taste and its unclear how this effects the spell. Does this delay the casting? Does this just basically act as silenced spell but noise comes later?
The Ugly: Somatic components are move based (like wave hands or pointing at target) this clearly intends to target verbal components which makes slightly awkward seem sloppy.
Overall: I see potential in the designer but the item is bad, cullable sorry to say.
58) Gravedigger's Lantern
The Good: Its a Trap! Its in fact allot like the containment units from ghost busters which means I like the item huzzah! Now where did I put Bill Murray's stats.
The Bad: Sunday, Sunday, Sunday see Gravedigger take on Bigfoot in the War memorial. Yeah hate the name, and it makes me think of monster trucks.
The Ugly: Mention breaking the lantern without hardness or HP, also requirements, price and aura all seem really off to me.
Overall: Niche because not often do I run into ghost especially not worth 55k to deal with them. Lower middling for me.
59)Motley Gum
The Good: I love spitting damage at enemies, I like that you can spit different energies and determine this off flavor, in general I upvoted this quite a few times.
The Bad: Lose the designed by goblins perfected by gnomes, clunky not needed
The Ugly: Falls down a little as standard action for avg of 7pts of damage, make it standard to activate 1st round and move to spit damage in subsequent rounds now your talking!
Overall: Fun quirky, mechanics are a little off, pricing in design as well. You show great potential though middling for me.
60) Beardforge
The Good: Memorable name and fun concept
The Bad: Complicated by skill check and table, player can refocus character to make this a little op
The Ugly: For everyone that's going to absolutely love the quirk, humor and originality of the item aother person is going to hate it, this was damaged by public vote methinks.
Overall: A little on the silly side for my taste, lower middling.
61) Paper Messenger
The Good: love the concept, I imagine a little Harry Potter-esc move but that isn't a bad thing for me. Best of the pass a message items by far (and there were allot of walkie talkie items, over)
The Bad: between Harry potter and Meepo's origami familiar in the monster thread I'm afraid this wasn't that original to me.
The Ugly: Functional but not superstar I'm afraid.
Overall: could see using in my games, but not going to be a central plot item or jaw dropper piece of loot. Middling for me.
62) Laurel of Kurgess
The Good: love the name description and writing is sharp and concise. Design is solid.
The Bad: ho-hum effect for me and a little niche
The Ugly: mimic another item but you know that.
Overall: Middling for me, see some real potential in designer but if you lack ambition to be a game designer get outta the way!
That's page 3... Taking a break more to come
53) Spellvoid Mantle
The Good: Powerfully good name, one of the best names of all the items I saw and that was quite a few. description is wll wirrten and mechanics are fair.
Thank you. I had a hell of a time fitting a name to the mechanic until this popped in my head and stuck there.
The Bad: Look at your first sentence and tell me what's missing from your prerequisits. If you say but that's optional you don't need noqual and other sky metals then you are going to lose me I'm afraid.
I see where you are coming from but in my own defense, it is vanishingly rare for an item to call out its own physical materials in the prerequisites. I also have an extreme aversion to cramming a whole lot of crap in with the prerequisites. If someone is paying 35,000 gold to make this they can get some noqual for that price. RP and quests around crafting materials are the perview of the DM, not the magic item crafting rules.
The Ugly: On one hand this evens the playing field for fighters vs casters, on the other hand my buff cleric is not a fan of you for wearing this.
Overall: Not in love I'm afraid. I could see this as a great villain item but I could see my PCs being less jazzed about this as treasure as it screws everyone who casts spells but my guys are very much team players. Lower middling for me, but I can totally see using this with a villain like say Baron Delev in KM 4.
Fair enough. Not playing well with others is what I expected to turn a lot of people off to this particular item and I see you point about it being better on a BBEG.
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Reviewing machine is ready again to act!
63) Fan, Dragonscale
The Good: Impressive design, like the multiple effects, like that its a fan and description is very well done.
The Bad: Don't believe your first sentence needs to be cut b/c I made a fan to cool myself off out of dragonscales is not unassuming and harmless. More like I kill super dangerous monsters to make keen fashion accessories.
The Ugly: Dragon themed items are cliche and somewhat over designed.
Overall: Great entry but suffers a bit on theme, also look at any dragon themed feat/race/armor and your going to get a similar items, its lacking some creativity. Middling for me.
64) Hand wraps of Flesh and Stone
The Good: Cinematic feel of touch attacks slowly turning opponent to stone, that's a neat idea
The Bad: Some sloppy design DR 1 what? Targets Fort save but effects Dex, not terribly bad but potentially confusing. The first sentence needs to be cut entirely and I'm ignoring it.
The Ugly: Second power steals magic why? I get reversal of first power and I'm cool with that but 2nd power breaks theme and makes little sense to me. Also caster level 15? Price is off if keeping 2nd power.
Overall: Cool idea, poor execution, 2-3 edits from being really decent possibly superstar concept but lower middling for me.
65) Flask of Raging Waters
The Good: Cool name, like its a flask, water bending image is clear to me.
The Bad: Its a fancy whip/slam attack item, the fact that its water is meaningless except as fluff.
The Ugly: can I use it to drown someone, nope. Can I target it with a cold spell and freeze it? Not clear This thing would need all sorts of errata.
Overall: 1 simple change from say water to mercury/quicksilver and I lose allot of issues because water is more real world application to me so I want to apply physics to it. Lower middling, make it mercury upper middling, I know I'm weird.
66) Gloves of the Confident Smith
The Good: Not Overpowered, description is clear and simple to read and understand. Design solid workman like.
The Bad: Name, right away I'm thinking ok NPC item. Name also makes me think this is smith specific it is not.
The Ugly: Way underpriced for an item that basically can give a +2 to any skill check.
Overall: Usable but not superstar, keep designing you'll get it right. Lower middling for me.
67) Dawnflower Ankh
The Good: Great name, Goloran appropriate, and allot more than a camping item.
The Bad: Few GMs bother making people roll survival checks to find water, your designing for problems most dms hand waive.
The Ugly: Hurt yourself in voting by designing camping item, and making Goleran specific.
Overall: Top 75 for me, I like the channeling element, the resist elements element, and really the name totally made me drink the kool-aid.
68) Paint of Discerning Demise
The Good: Sweet idea, its magic CSI which I kinda dig.
The Bad: very few have craft painting as a skill makes super niche
The Ugly: in an hour I've already likely solved the mystery as I've had time to zone of truth any witnesses, or heck speak with dead since we have the corpse, I can take all sorts of 20's on skill checks while you're painting happy little trees.
Overall: Not a bad idea, but this is also Issac the painter's ability from heroes only less cool. Lower rung for me but too well written to cull.
69) Feybone of the Eternal Singularity
The Good: Love fey themes, and first world always gets my attention.
The Bad: Where's my fey outside the fluff? Making my players roll the dice 3 times and averaging it is not making friends at the table, I'm sorry to say.
The Ugly: No scratch that you're making the DM roll 3 times as well seriously your DM has enough dice to roll, straight up this item is banned from my table.
Overall: Writing is sound and clear mechanic here is so off putting and actually not really fey themed for me this is intentional vote down into cull territory for me. Want to fix it- instead of averaging 3 rolls everyone takes 10 on all rolls during effect, now take the fey name bit out keep the singularity that's fine.
70) Cloud of Gray
The Good: Ok you're designing in an interesting less cliche space then most, and this has a cinematic effect.
The Bad: pet peeve this should be head slot wonderous item doesn't mean slot-less. Terrible name!
The Ugly: OP for the price, a storm is a big effect and I see nothing stopping you from doing this everyday. Hey I can ruin farms or make a siege particularly unpleasant with this. Oh and no duration mechanic = sloppy design.
Overall: Middling to lower middling for me, anted to like it more.
71) Matryoshka of the Planar Cadre
The Good: My, my what a neat summoning item I have a druid and summoner that would fight over this for sure. Nice design space to work in mechanically sound and well written.
The Bad: Name is terrible, if I need to look it up you lost a vote in most match-ups.
The Ugly: Mixed bag on one thing, this item forces allot more book keeping for the spellcaster using it and the DM that wants to keep an eye on things.
Overall: Better than a feat with 2 prerequisits and it likely stacks with that feat. Takes summoning which is already awesome-sauce and makes it more so, still I really like this so upper middling to say top 100 for me but price is of concern, needs playtesting.
72) Mantle of The Flesh Bound Soul
The Good: Neat idea, basically this anchors soul to body meaning as long as a little alive you will be alive eventually.
The Bad: Name is too wordy and power level is close to say a liches philactory which is artifact territory.
The Ugly: Price and power level are really high see the bad.
Overall: Great artifact, wrong competition. DQable in my eyes.
73) Relativity Torc
The good: sparse but clear and well written description. Effects are clear, no extra fluff which is bonus points for me as a voter.
The Bad: Name makes me think of e=mc2 whcih is immaterial to function of torc, consider renaming- name is a promise unfulfilled in this case.
The Ugly: Neat function but not superstar needs more pizazz
Overall: Functional but not superstar upper middling for me.
74) Sepllcycle Medallion
The Good: as a creative spellcaster I can have a frakin field day with these and would LOVE a DM that would let me have'em.
The Bad: I'd likely not be that DM
The Ugly: weight = at least 1lb encumbrance rules matter to me, not a wow effect unless you're creative (I am so I love these)
Overall: Great item but potential GM headache, upper middling for me.
75) Bracers of Daring Exploits
The Good: Solid name, would love these on a swashbuckler or rogue in particular.
The Bad: kill that first sentence dead, it muddies the waters.
The Ugly: +10 AC bonus a little overbalanced for 8k gp. There's a feat with a prerequisit that gives me what +4, this is a balance issue scale it back to like a +5 we're allot closer to being allowed in my game.
Overall: Balance issues kill this to lower middling for me.
That's page 4... I need a life apparently
Dude. You rock.
And as far as my Sash of Singularity is concerned:
"The Bad: Something bugs me, needs some errata like does this say cancel feather fall ect. "
Now that is helpful and I can't believe that thought didn't occur to me. I thought that I had pretty much covered my bases.
Stuff like this has made me feel much better and now I can't wait until next year.
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7
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62) Laurel of Kurgess
The Good: love the name description and writing is sharp and concise. Design is solid.
The Bad: ho-hum effect for me and a little niche
The Ugly: mimic another item but you know that.
Overall: Middling for me, see some real potential in designer but if you lack ambition to be a game designer get outta the way!
Haha. Yeah, I understand. I write for a living and I've done the freelance thing in advertising and journalism and freelance is not my cup of tea. Thanks for the feedback, I've already designed a second item based on your feedback lol. So maybe the designer bug is biting at me after all.
Now that is helpful and I can't believe that thought didn't occur to me. I thought that I had pretty much covered my bases.
Guy wearing your item is going to fall thru the floors of allot of 2 story Inns as well. Easy way to fix this would be sash activates only when initiative is rolled. Would nerf item in surprise round but not create allot of unintended comedic side effects (well except possibly in combat.)
Plus lets say it activates while on a wooden boardwalk, and a fight breaks out, your guy decides he's in the fight and immediately the wood groans and bows- he charges forward and the planks shatter as he runs creating difficult terrain in his wake.
Really dangerous to wear in an aquatic fight though- might not be encumbered but you're gonna sink like a stone and have a +20 penalty to swim checks. I'm more awake now...
Page 5... Crap I think I'm on this page, now I'm scared I'm a nasty reviewer!
76) Cloak of Deepest Shadow
The Good: Prose shows potential, mostly got format right, linkified relevant data, like theme and well considered adherence to it.
The Bad: Name is "lake of purple desolation" bad- google it. cut this whole paragraph "Like mist ... it's nature. "
The Ugly: Even as a SAK, SIAC I'm not spending that much on you're cloak and I play a shadowdancer! I'd much rather have say a +5 cloak of resistance in that slot. My hide is already boss, I can shadow port, I already have hide in plain sight and my UMD is high enough to only fail on a bad roll to use a wand of darkness spells.
Overall: not quite a cull item, but I wouldn't object- sorry.
77) Quill of the Tengu Sage
The Good: Balanced mechanics, like the description, pricing seems fair which if tough to do.
The Bad: Another frakin' Quill! yeah there was allot of that this year.
The Ugly: Niche design space, don't see myself wanting this as a player.
Overall: just not superstar, lower middling for me.
78) Ancestral Spirit Shroud
The Good: Good name, like it allot. Mechanics are neatly balanced and effect is darn groovy.
The Bad: Miasma has 2 definitions the first is more common and associated with the black death 1. noxious exhalations from putrescent organic matter; poisonous effluvia or germs polluting the atmosphere.
2. a dangerous, foreboding, or deathlike influence or atmosphere. This detracted from your item I'm afraid.
The Ugly: Edit the writing, focus less on the fluff let my imagination do that.
Overall: Lower middling for me because of the fluff really.
79) Master Needle of the Fairie Artisan
The Good: Another Fey themed item, huzzah! Ok so skill bonus, don't hate that.
The Bad: there's another item with just about the same mechanics, hurt you a bit.
The Ugly: give me a mend mechanic or let me sew something that normally isn't sewable!
Overall: middling for me, see above.
80) Clockwork Heart
The Good: Holy crap am I jealous of this concept... this is seriously cool and I LOVE the drawback. I'm drinking all the Kool-Aid here, this my friends is how you do a theme.
The Bad: Want errata, what kind of zombie- specify template please.
The Ugly: Price is way too low for what it does even with drawbacks.
Overall: I can write stories around this item which is superstar in my book top 32 for me.
81) Jagged Cauldron
The Good: Name is cool and makes absolute sense with the mechanics which are solid.
The Bad: If game has allot of downtime like kingmaker this is overpowered, if this is a game with no downtime like say shattered star this is way underpowered.
The Ugly: Health for free potions? Never buying this item period.
Overall: Middling item, I neither object to nor advocate for this item. Mechanics are sound just do not like the flavor.
82) Listening Stone
The Good: Like the sound motif that's a fun mechanic to play with, name just ok, neat functionality.
The Bad: Way over priced, lose the diminishing return mechanic, wall of text makes me less likely to read.
The Ugly: If you have to spend most of your words covering abuses your item isn't balanced and go back to drawing board.
Overall: Core idea isn't superstar, I like work-a-day functional items this is overwrought. Lower middling for me.
83) Halfling Swingsaddle of the Gorilla
The Good: Delivers exactly what it promises.
The Bad: Not a halfling that wants to ride a Gorilla? Then you porlly won't vote for this.
The Ugly: Remove halfling entirely from both name and requirements, now remove Ape what do you get a saddle that is designed to allow rider to ride upright creature even if climbing. I don't need magic to make this work!
Overall: Becomes a better item if you follow what I say in ugly, now my gnome can ride say munguk a potential hill giant ally from kingmaker. You made this too niche lower middling for me.
84) Flask of Sudden Sanctuary
The Good: I love the bit where you can summon a chapel complete with outsider priests, there's some serious cool to the concept.
The Bad: Going off on a rant on your first sentence which in a voting might be your only chance inlaid with motifs of angels and dolphins cavorting what a distraction! Cavorting leads to canoodling which leads to Aquatic Assamar? Dolphins haven't been this out of place since Guns and Roses video for Estranged video.
The Ugly: How much frkin' water does this thing hold? Mechanics are more than a little confusing on that point, I think you could lose the entire last paragraph and power and clarify the mechanic of that and get a better item.
Overall: Superstar Idea with first draft level execution. If this wasn't something you forgot to edit then hone your inner critic a bit more (try doing what I'm doing now it helps) Lower middling for me.
Between this thread and top 32 I'm well over 100 reviews this week but there are more pages to go...
Page 6...
85) Doppelganger’s Locket
Good: I love this evil item, lets me stash a corpse and take its place, oh I'm going to use this on my PCs sooner or later...
Bad: Unfortunately Evil items prolly get less voting love, players are usually the good guys and this is not a good guys item.
Ugly: +10's seem a bit much +5 or +6 seems more palatable to me
Overall: Rollicking good item if not top 32 just a little outside. Nice work!
86) Mortal Coil
Good: Sweet name, you write nice prose and mechanically sound.
Bad: Never make the pubic look up rules in a voting system, we're lazy if you are going to do this use links.
Ugly: Consider revising or scrapping your first sentence entirely, also this is a Niche item that tries to be inclusive but Johnny Q doesn't get it.
Overall: Middling item for me.
87) Master Healer's Satchel
Good: Your name offers up a good representation of what this does. This is a healers dream kit and is well written.
Bad: Underpriced raise dead with other effects.
Ugly: Healer's SAK
Overall: Dislike the healing items but this one was very well done and might make my homebrew. Upper Middling for me.
88) Flute of Silver Winds
Good: Love magic instruments rare to see a CG aligned spell, interesting effect.
Bad: Kinda ho-hum effect if performer ceases playing or there's no one with CG descriptor spells.
Ugly: Name is poor, price is high for effect payoff.
Overall: Wanted to like more lower middling.
89) Bracers of Joy
Good: These are almost always useful
Bad: Naming is not so great here, no wow factor.
Ugly: Ok went overboard on drawbacks. Limit use lose damage and drug addiction mechanics entirely.
Overall: I think you wanted to achieve a euphoric booster item, instead of save vs addition how about fort save that has to be made to gain benefit, failure means penalty instead as you are too happy to try hard. Cullable as written, but I see potential.
90)Sash of Girding Vitality
Good: Theme is there, writing is concise.
Bad: Where's the creativity?
Ugly: This is a feat in a can like a ring of evasion sort of. Not bad bad not superstar either.
Overall: Lower middling to cullable.
91) Harming Harp
Good: Quirky, I see you had some potential here and my favorite bit is that its also a weapon which is not a problem for me.
Bad: Name is terrible does it have a cousin called bad bagpipes?
Ugly: Gave it weapon stats and intelligence, that's a DQ.
Overall: DQable even if not Cullable.
92) Gloves of Life Siphoning
Good: design is solid makes sense for Vamp touch in a glove, escalating cost scale also very nice, like the ability to distribute healing
Bad: its not a very innovative SIAC.
Ugly: Gloves of the frugal healer would compete with this and you'd not win that comparison.
Overall: I actually like these but they aren't really superstart for me Middling to upper middling.
93) The Canvas of Half-Hidden Truths
Good: I like items that can help me as a DM steer PCs where they need to go.
Bad: As a PC I'd never be like I want that
Ugly: The PC that does want this can possibly ruin plot for themselves like for example exposing who the BBE is in kingmaker.
Overall: Not liking paints this year lower rung for me, better than cullable but just.
94) Witchfrost Heart
Good: This is another cold witch item haven't hated one of those yet. Like playing with grease one of my favorite spells.
Bad: "pulses excitedly when held" distracting text makes me think dirty.
Ugly: Its a fancy enhanced spell in a can.
Overall: Like it but Upper middle for me maybe top 100-75 range.
95) Amazing Aviary
Good: Cinematic feel, great name, clear writing.
Bad: Its a taxi/ summonings item pretty SIAC.
Ugly: No max uses per day or duration mechanic, way underpriced if birds turn into giant eagles permanently!
Overall: Medium to upper middling item for me.
That's page 6...
Page 7 to first 40 posts
96) Twinning Glass
Good: Enough flash in idea to get attention name matches effect.
Bad: breaks action economy cheaply.
Ugly: As a DM I wouldn't allow this item, it just creates more paperwork hassles then it creates cool. There's a cape I reviewed that did this mechanically better.
Overall: This item stalked me a little and I didn't vote for it very often. I'm biased against items that f*ck with time or use clone they make headaches for DMs. Looking at this again, you tried to limit it the possible problems but this complicated the item and made it overwrought- don't feel bad I did much the same to my item.
97) Castling Gloves
Good: Chess theme huzzah! I once ran a larp with a background chess theme. Love the name to effect makes perfect sense.
Bad: I expect something akin to benign transposition here, not what I got
Ugly: Give a reflex save to catch if action is not available, unfortunately this is a swipe or message passing item as written
OVerall: functional and fun but not really superstar for me not enough pizazz middling.
98) Rappelling Vambraces
Good: great name, very decent design mechanics.
Bad: Its a grappling hook and maybe a whip, look at spidesilk quiver for better version of this.
Ugly: Price high for what it is
Overall: Lower middling for me.
99) Tesseract Dust
Good: Love, LOVE, LOVE the name. Fun way to teleport and can be used offensively
Bad: Expensive for a consumable
Ugly: fancy spell in a can
Overall: Still love this, good utility item will make my homegame upper middling for me.
100) Saddle of the Chevalier
Good: Name works for me, effects are decent from mechanical standpoint and you broke up the text which helps your readers digest it.
Bad: Limited wish should not be a prerequisite here.
Ugly: Not really a superstar Idea, its an attack and skill bonus.
Overall Middling for me.
101) Tears of the Fey is on deck taking a break....
Absolutely stellar effort. Nice one GM_Solspiral!
Truly an admirable effort. Thank you for the critique(s).
Thanks for the critique of my entry (fleshwarping unguent). I agree, I mispriced the item. Given the addiction component and the limited duration of the item I think it should be in the 2,000 - 5,000 gp/dose range.
BTW, I mentioned the drow because fleshwarping is specially a drow art. I also think I would have reworked it without the addiction component. Maybe an increasing Will or Fortitude save or become sickened or nauseated? What I was imagining the using the unguent makes the user less and less able to resist the fleshwarper, eventually becoming a living mannequin for the fleshwarper. Yeah it is nasty, which is also why I chose the word unguent. It is an ugly word.
66) Gloves of the Confident Smith
The Good: Not Overpowered, description is clear and simple to read and understand. Design solid workman like.
The Bad: Name, right away I'm thinking ok NPC item. Name also makes me think this is smith specific it is not.
The Ugly: Way underpriced for an item that basically can give a +2 to any skill check.
Overall: Usable but not superstar, keep designing you'll get it right. Lower middling for me.
Thanks for taking a look at it. This was probably a case of over-revision. I kept tweaking the mechanics to get them perfect and not overpowered, and I think I ended up pulling all the pizzazz out.
Reviewing machine is ready again to act!
63) Fan, Dragonscale
The Good: Impressive design, like the multiple effects, like that its a fan and description is very well done.
The Bad: Don't believe your first sentence needs to be cut b/c I made a fan to cool myself off out of dragonscales is not unassuming and harmless. More like I kill super dangerous monsters to make keen fashion accessories.
The Ugly: Dragon themed items are cliche and somewhat over designed.
Overall: Great entry but suffers a bit on theme, also look at any dragon themed feat/race/armor and your going to get a similar items, its lacking some creativity. Middling for me.
Thanks! I appreciate you taking the time to review my item (and all the items!) I'm glad to hear the critique, as well as the things you liked about it. :)
24) Vest of Mongrelkind
Good: Great name, first paragraph sells me
Bad: Even with your edit second paragraph confuses me, what's a race point? OH you gave a link- you still could have lost the second paragraph in all honesty
Ugly: 2nd paragraph confuses the item too much, but without it it needs another power...
Overall: I have trouble voting on items that use unfamiliar mechanics but I love the name and the stuff that is familiar is great, middling to upper middling for me.
i was worried about exactly that (and i've gotten one critique on the other thread already from someone who clearly thought i was referencing the "race traits" from APG). i knew it was a risk, but i thought it was a good item so i went for it. thanks for the feedback.
Dedicated Voter Season 6
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56) Sea Nettle Submersible
The Good: Super glad you posted this so I can frakin' steal it. This was a personal top 32 for me as it solves a problem, has cool visual and description.
The Bad: Its a magic item, don't restrict it to salt water!
The Ugly: For its size I want more swim speed, also while frickin' love this thing its clearly niched materiel and questionable superstar for lack of flair.
Overall: With a slight modification I'm using this, love this and think its superstar for me, but I'm not a judge...
:) I really appreciate the feedback on this! The saltwater restriction was really only so that players still had to fumble around with rivers, because that's hilarious. Since I hadn't seen any underwater submersibles in Pathfinder, my idea was to make it not VERY powerful - make it tempting for parties to want to use it for rest, but fragile and slow enough that they'd have to be careful.
i was worried about exactly that (and i've gotten one critique on the other thread already from someone who clearly thought i was referencing the "race traits" from APG). i knew it was a risk, but i thought it was a good item so i went for it. thanks for the feedback.
I definitely misunderstood what this item does. This may be one example of how a hyperlink might have worked against the item as opposed to a book-and-page reference, since the latter would highlight in the item text itself where you referring to.
Is the idea that you can choose any racial trait (within the limits given by the item), even if that trait is not in effect for any actual race in the game world? That seems kinda iffy.
Of course, maybe I still don't understand the item. :-)
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Star Voter Season 6
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Page 6...
90)Sash of Girding Vitality
Good: Theme is there, writing is concise.
Bad: Where's the creativity?
Ugly: This is a feat in a can like a ring of evasion sort of. Not bad bad not superstar either.
Overall: Lower middling to cullable.
Well, I admit that it basicaly IS a feat in a can. However, I was thinking of something I wish my Barbarian character had had around level 7, since he died insta-death style twice at that level. Although barbarians tend to have lots of hit points, they also tend to have low AC's so their hit points vanish a lot faster too. At about that level, simply going to negative hit points is an auto-kill for raging barbarians, unless they have Raging Vitality. If they don't have that yet, an item like this would be essential equipment.
Given the creativity I've seen here in other's items, I didn't expect to make the top 32, but I don't even know if I made the Cull. I never saw my own item in voting, so I was really wondering. Thank you for the critique.
Is the idea that you can choose any racial trait (within the limits given by the item), even if that trait is not in effect for any actual race in the game world? That seems kinda iffy.
Of course, maybe I still don't understand the item. :-)
that is the correct understanding. i thought about trying to limit it to traits from races that exist within a given campaign world but a) it seemed too convoluted to try to explain that restriction, b) this way makes it work the same way (and have the same value) in every world, and c) no 1 point standard traits is powerful enough to unbalance things, even if its not available through any other race.
i totally understand the concern about breaking/changing the feel of a setting by allowing traits that no normal character race has but, like i said, i liked the item so i took a risk on it. thank you for the critique, its definitely helpful to hear how other people saw the item!
[64) Hand wraps of Flesh and Stone
The Good: Cinematic feel of touch attacks slowly turning opponent to stone, that's a neat idea
The Bad: Some sloppy design DR 1 what? Targets Fort save but effects Dex, not terribly bad but potentially confusing. The first sentence needs to be cut entirely and I'm ignoring it.
The Ugly: Second power steals magic why? I get reversal of first power and I'm cool with that but 2nd power breaks theme and makes little sense to me. Also caster level 15? Price is off if keeping 2nd power.
Overall: Cool idea, poor execution, 2-3 edits from being really decent possibly superstar concept but lower middling for me.
First - THANKS for the Review. Much appreciated.
Answering a few of your questions:
The item is made from cockatrix feathers and disenchanter fur - disenchanter fur drains magic.
It was in the first sentence (which you - and pretty much everyone else righfully hated) LOL. The item sprang from a line in the bestiary where weasils are immune to cockatrices.
The item was intended to be DR 1/- per point of Dex lost. Many stat drains / damages target fort saves; calcific touch its precursor does as well.
Caster level 15: A couple of reasons: The familiars had to have enough skill to weave So, without a class skill, this was the first level the familiar could take 10 and succeed at weaving. The math was something like 15 skill ranks - 4 for difficult (meticulous ratios, dangerous components).
In considering I tried to balance factors:
The item make monks viable, but not too overpowered. It allowed a monk to hit but to take 3-4 rounds to kill - which seemed appropriate for a end game opponent.
It gave monks (and others) the possibility of sacrificing dex for situations where DR would be handy (there are archers outside that door).
And finally, a gradual break enchantment effect.
Which I tried to offset with the same effect happening on the monk; and the flavor effect of being tripped.
Thanks again! Love your thread.
Continuing page 7...
To those commenting, I'll try to answer questions (like way up the thread how to make the opening sentence better)about my reviews but after I catch up and give everyone some feedback. I know there are others tacking this task as well, all I can say is good luck! Bullet points work for me.
Thanks for the words of support, they help keep me motivated.
101) Tears of the Fey
Good: Love fey themed items and yours is actually best reviewed thus far at sticking to that theme.
Bad: Once you use the liquid it somehow regenerates in 2 weeks?This is somewhat murky in your text.
Ugly: I'll johnny chaotic neutral, I'm gonna buy 1 of these and make a new fey circle that causes confusion permanently in fertile soil every 2 weeks. Sweet I'll buy more and plunge the world in total chaos mwahahaha!
Overall: mechanics of the circles are fine, rethink duration mechanic.
102) The Pillars Dexter
Good: I like gloves that let me handle acid and other hazmat materials and throw them at people, I like this interacting with arcane bond and these allowing to throw things with hand of the apprentice.
Bad: Name the workman that uses 1 dark silvery elbow length glove in the right hand only. That description borders on joke item, and I am resisting allot of cheeky comments, though the arcane bond at least lets you make these less conspicuous. Another issue is the name, you pillars concept isn't cannon and when I hear Dexter I think of the fictional serial killer portrayed by Michael C Hall.
Ugly: I stopped counting powers around 3, that's already a stretch.
Overall: Where you going for a Full metal alchemist vibe? despite a good idea the execution here is very lacking for me lower middle, not quite so bad as a cull item but not far off.
103) Summoning Siphon
Good: The idea of storing some summons up for later is fun and useful.
Bad: how many vials to I get with the item as there are clearly more than 1 and only 1 creature per vial?
Ugly: If I only get one its a fairly expensive consumable unless I get a sixth level summons in there. Consider the different prices escalating option for how powerful a summons I can siphon.
Overall: Not bad, not Superstar in concept middling for me.
104)Scroll Scrying Goggles
Good: I can see a UMD-centric rogue or Eldion loving these. Powers are balanced and your writing clear.
Bad: Name sets an expectation that I'm reading my enemies scrolls or something, its a bad name- like might glaze over reading the item bad.
Ugly: I count 4 powers, and its a mechanic that honestly gets handwaived allot mainly read magic spell.
Overall: Functional, useful, but not a superstar idea.
105) Doomstring
Good: My cat would love this item. Clearly written I guess, format on point, sorry but its hard to seriously review this.
The Bad: Its a brightly colored ball of twine that fascinates people into attacking it! Sorry but these are all wherever the cat folk are!
The Ugly: This isn't a joke item? I have no idea WTF you're talking about meme wise but the name is silly without that knowledge. Doom + String = hilarious image of death by silly string.
Overall: If this wasn't DQed it deserved to be culled, if the author is serious about design the author needs to perhaps play test their items first, if their gaming group is laughing at the item re-evaluate design.
106) Bloodthief Gem
Good: Neat idea steal some blood to borrow a race trait.
Bad: Alienates voters unfamiliar with that particular mechanic.
Ugly: This would make more sense as a ring but yeah that's not a wondrous item...
Overall: Decent idea and execution, but weird niche for allot of voters, prolly middling.
That's end of page 7...
Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7
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Thanks for the review GM_Solspiral, but there were a couple things I was not clear on:
37) Mark of the Leech
The Good: Name and functional mechanics smoothly conjoin, writing is clear which is very important.
The Bad: It's a burst form of vampiric touch with a gross out factor
The Ugly: What happens when you have living and undead within 30' Does the user gain and lose the Hp at the same time? There's mechanic issues here.
Overall: Hard to like for me, prejudiced to the theme I dislike the image of sticking a leech on your forehead and not overly fond of negative energy items. Lower middle for me.
So in the the Bad section, what exactly is the gross out factor to which you are referring?
In the Ugly section, yes, you are correct. If there are both living and undead in the area, the wearer both receives temporary HP (due to the living) and loses HP (due to the undead). I'm not sure what mechanical issues you are referring to? It seemed pretty clear cut to me (but as I wrote it, I am certainly biased). Could you expand on the mechanical issues?
Thanks again for the review. :)
You are a machine, GM_Solspiral, and my hat is humbly tipped to you.
That said, I would be eternally grateful if you could do mine too! (I was on page 5. No, really!)
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot neck; Price 81,000 gp; Weight —
Description
This platinum brooch is adorned with an image of a dragon lying atop a hoard of treasure. By speaking the command word, the wearer of this brooch can cause a Large-sized phantasm shaped like a dragon to appear, which will then proceed to devour any unattended treasure indicated by the wearer of the brooch. Each round, the phantasm can devour either one magic item, or 100 gp-worth of coins and non-magical gear and materials, and can continue to devour items until dismissed by the brooch’s wearer (a free action). The phantasm cannot attack, nor can it devour any kind of creature; if it takes damage, it disappears instantly and can be re-summoned in 1 minute.
As the phantasm devours items, it completely annihilates them and stores their worth (full gp value for coins, ½ base price for other items), allowing anyone who wears the brooch to later substitute the power within for any material component for a spell or materials needed for the creation of other magic items (though when used in this fashion, the wearer must still provide the physical object to be made magical); this subtracts from the brooch’s total stored worth (to a minimum of 1 gp each use). In the case of a costly material component, the wearer of the brooch must choose to either use a material component or use the value stored within the brooch; he cannot choose to use a less-costly material component and “make up” the difference with the brooch.
The brooch can be used at will and retains its stored value, even while not worn.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, fabricate; Cost 40,500 gp
Thanks for the critique of Quill of the Tengu Sage, it was indeed extremely niche. I wish I had had time to expand it to all spellcasters or more spells without being too wordy, but even if I had, it's probably only going to appeal to roleplaying spellcasters in the right campaign. :/
You are a machine, GM_Solspiral, and my hat is humbly tipped to you.
That said, I would be eternally grateful if you could do mine too! (I was on page 5. No, really!)
** spoiler omitted **
I missed one!!! Drat, I apologize thank you for pointing it out.
107) Brooch of the Dragon’s Hoard
The Good: When I read this entry I smile without thinking its a joke entry, the game design is tightly controlled (I know the limits of what can be done here,) and while the item has a dragon theme it isn't predictable.
The Bad: Its a niche, and the design space is an area allot of DMs hand waive spell component rules because they don't want to have to keep track of every copper.
The Ugly: Some issues: If the brooch changes ownership does it retain the consumed wealth for the benefit of another spell caster? This is not clear in text though as written I'd assume so. I'm not sure a magic item that destroys treasure is going to be very popular with voters, it was a risky design.
Overall: I upvoted the heck out of this thing and loved it. Wasn't in my top 32 but it was one of the better written entries this year in my opinion. Top 50-75 for me. Next year keep the whimsy but design for your audience a little more and I can see you in the top 32.
Anyone else that I misses please, please post where your item was that I misses and either repost it here or not I'll find it and review your item. I'll get to page 8 later today in all likelihood and I think page 9 is happening as I type this.
@Mikko thanks, I actually have no reviews for my own item yet except the review I wrote myself on this thread.
So in the the Bad section, what exactly is the gross out factor to which you are referring?
In the Ugly section, yes, you are correct. If there are both living and undead in the area, the wearer both receives temporary HP (due to the living) and loses HP (due to the undead). I'm not sure what mechanical issues you are referring to? It seemed pretty clear cut to me (but as I wrote it, I am certainly biased). Could you expand on the mechanical issues?
Thanks again for the review. :)
Ok so you take a stone it turns into a leech and attaches to your forehead right? If it doesn't attach like a leech which I am personally skeeved out by (and prolly not alone) then the gross out factor I'm speaking of isn't there but the writing needs more clarity. It was under bad as it was relatively mild compared to others but worth mentioning.
As to mechanical issues. Lets take the example provided and say that I use the leech while both living an undead are around lets say 3 vamps and 3 living flunkies. I get both life and damage but what is resolved first? This could be a problem because if damage resolved first then I could get knocked out then revived. If its resolved at the same time I think that should have an effect outside hit points because being hit with neg and pos energy would in the very least be jarring.
Start of Page 8, likely will not do all or too many with this post but I got a few to kill.
108) Badge of the Ghost Pack
Good: For me I'm happy to see an item that integrates with Chase rules but can operate without them, that was elegantly done! Well written entry good template Fu.
Bad: Like any entry you will lose some folk when specifying rules that not everyone uses.
Ugly: DC 12 is a little low, and 5k seems a little inexpensive to me maybe 6-7k, Sorry but name fail for me I just do not like the name cannot quantify it just don't.
Overall: Great item, not top 32 for me but top 100 or
109) Surcoat of Accord
Good: Like the name, simple effective and useful mechanic, description is brief but effective.
Bad: Class specific items need to bring more wow to get the votes
Ugly: This is a picky bit but I want the words "willing ally" in there or my jerky cavalier just might share his challenge with the squishy caster. Also, feels counter to the classes flavor to share challenge.
Overall: Its a functional item, but I have flavor issue with it and prolly wouldn't use. Nothing wrong with design aside from what I mentioned core idea just doesn't resonate with me. Lower middling for me.
110) Farsight Stone
Good: You demonstrate some writing ability in that second paragraph. Template is on point, item is not op, could see a bunch of these networked as a part of a story.
Bad: Price way off the mark. Easy to confuse with one of the many walkie-talkie items, ker> over!
Ugly: How does one create said link between stones? Do the stones have names, do they need to touch first, line of sight? Another issue, what is the duration, max times usable per day? These is a very big mechanical flaw that kills any potential in this item. Fix this and this still isn't a superstar idea but it can hang with a better revision of my listening stone!
Overall: Lower end to cullable I'm afraid
111) Dustkicker Boots
Good: like the name, plays with dirty trick mechanics well which is good stuff, description is on point before "prized by"
Bad: Prized by is the hallmark of an insecure designer, don't tell show.
Ugly: For most this is a +2 bonus on CMB, for the rest its an extra attack- not a superstar effect.
Overall: Functional, has some cool just not enough for superstar Upper middling for me.
(If she submitted for the contest she already signed up, and I saw her item so she has an account.)
112) Vigilant Doorkeeper
Good: Awesome name, has a good utility especially as a story item.
Bad: Adventuring parties will not use this very often this costs votes, your audience is looking for items to use at home.
Ugly: The only effect is storing and relaying an image, this doesn't do anything to protect the door or what's behind it.
Overall: Not a superstar concept, really lower end possibly cullable item for me.
113) Spoon of Swarm Sealing
Good: A swarm, quick spray'em with hot wax! Love the image and idea.
Bad: Awkwardly written in parts like "Swarms affected can take damage from any melee bludgeoning weapons that cannot be finessed"
Ugly: I want more effects with this hot wax spraying spoon what else can we do with hot wax?
Overall: Not feeling this especially against say the swarm slurper.
114) Hag’s Tooth
Good: Like the name, like the effects and overall the item seems pretty keen
Bad: Your eagerness to add background detail and description detracts from the item's description at times.
Ugly: Slightly over the top with powers, I think its the feat that does it for me. I believe this can be a great item with proper editing but a great SAK that's also a SIAC.
Overall: I like it but I'd seriously revise before usin, lower middling for me.
115) Sandals of the Wandering Sage
Good: like the Eastern flair of these, martial artist learning from different animals, that's a serious cool factor. I'd call this a superstar idea!
Bad: First problem with execution, I don't see the sage flying because he watched a bird.
Ugly: The movement in general can be scrubbed and maybe make it more about monster combat feats with a stipulation that where appropriate the sage must have feasible physiology,
Overall: Great concept but would be better as a headband and other execution issues just make this middling for me.
End Page 8... Page 9 I see you...
110) Farsight Stone
Thanks for the critique. I was worried about the price point. I figured since you need at least two stones to do anything, it would even out the low price. As for the actions, to me it feels obvious that it's an at-will item that you can continue using as long as you concentrate as a standard action. However, it's probably not so obvious to someone who did not spend three weeks revising and reworking the same item.
It was a very eye opening critique, so thanks again!