False factoids


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Scarab Sages

Avatar of Zon-Kuthon can neither see nor touch anyone who covers themselves from head to toe in a bedsheet.


IHIYC is in your closet, taking your bedsheets, so that he will have some extras for when his current set eventually tears.


Do not ask for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for hobbsdadolfin.


Buddhist monks sometimes use Ventnors head to ring their prayer bells.


Swiss Buddhists attempt to play Molten Dragon like an alpenhorn in order to announce the start of the cheese meditation.

Scarab Sages

Pulg has taken a specialized, lesser version of the Elongated Cranium feat to shape his forehead into a highly effective cheese grater.


Whenever IHIYC eats a crocodile, he starts at the tail, gaining perverse delight from the reptile's alarm at being devoured.


GoatToucher has successfully made several new George S's using his George S. Patton. What he does with them is his business.


They say that too many Pulgs in the kitchen spoils the broth. Mainly because he's so bad at cooking that he frequently burns water.


Ventnor's ennui is so palpable it has become a living and active aura.

Liberty's Edge

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MendedWall12 comes from a long and prestigious line of murder-hoboes.


lucky7 puts the oboes in murder hoboes.


MendedWall12 is America's next Top Model.


A fully grown male Ventnor can urinate fire

Liberty's Edge

Goznaz does not exist.


As long as evil continues to fester within the hearts of mortal men, lucky7 will never truly die.


Ventor has graduated from being a murderhoboe to being a murder hbassoon.


Pulg loves tooting on a nice woodwind instrument when the opportunity arises.

Scarab Sages

GoatToucher happens to be an accomplished and connected political activist, known mainly as the pioneer behind the controversial new "Right To Workroom" laws.


I'm Hiding In Your Closet saw his parents gunned down before his eyes. He spent the next few decades preparing himself to rid the city of the criminal scourge that had ruined his life. At the end of his training, he tried to think up a symbol that would inspire terror in the criminal element, only to stumble into an open closet while thinking.

And thus, a legend was born.

Sovereign Court

Ventnor is IHIYC's equal and opposite.


Avatar of Zon-Kuthon ate the heart of the Alpha Gerbil and gained its power. This is why the descendants of these once-mighty beasts have been reduced to cute little balls of fluff.


Ventnor started out as a cute little ball of fluff but then he watched a goblin orphanage burn to the ground and became filled with hatred, malice, and unmitigated rage.


MW12 has grown from a frail skeletal boy to a fine skeleton man, much to his parents' delight.


GT appears in the iconic novels of HP Lovecraft as the Jungian With 1000 Goats


Pulg is the star of a fairly successful TV show. However, his manager is terrible and thus Pulg hasn't gotten paid for any of it (and never will).


Ventnor has won several mustachio competitions.


Goddity had a period of seeking, of fanaticism, during its youth. For some reason, the thing it focused on was the moderately successful (but very famous) goblin trash metal band Junkburn Nodogs.


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Sissyl sold her volcano lair to an evil mastermind 2 days before the volcano erupted. She saved the world and in the process made a cool $200 billion.


Ventnor is known for erupting volcanoes AND had a $20 billion deposit in his account around the time of the matermind's death. The Powers That Be ruled it, I quote, "What a co-ink-ee-dink?!" The Powers That Be then retired and now tour the world as a power metal band.


KahnyaGnorc is a roadie for Powers That Be, doing sound tests, checking gear, and ensuring a ready supply of sharks with fricking laser beams. Hey, you can take the super villain out of the volcano, but you can't take their deadly tech enhanced fish.

Scarab Sages

GM_Beernorg once demonstrated his diehard Conan the Barbarian fandom by punching out a camel.


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IHIYC demonstrated his Lovecraft fandom by eating 1d4 investigators per round. (The investigators were from the MouseGuard RPG)


KahnyaGnorcs escapades with house plants was the inspiration for the song Percy the Puny Poinsettia.


Molten Dragon has been sentenced to serve 108 consecutive life sentences for violating the laws of physics.


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Ventnor has spent the last few years learning to play an oboe while juggling chainsaws and standing on a tightrope. He's doing better than most because he still has 3 fingers left.


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Goddity celebrated THanksgiving by giving Tom Hanks to random people.


KahnyaGnorc celebrated the first Thanksgrabbing with GoatToucher a century ago.


One year, Ventnor had heard that dragon was on the menu for Thanksgiving. He hid out until well after new years day.


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Every year at Thanksgiving, Molten Dragon gets pardoned by a turkey.


Every year, Pulg goes out for Black Friday. Not to purchase anything, but to join the inevitable brawls that occur.


KahnyaGnorc is 70% at Target this week only!


GoatToucher once thought that Cyber Monday meant something different. Now he simply incorporates internet deals into what he HAD been doing before.


Ventnor is a shopping addict. He is trying to improve though.


Goddity is sending tips of great e-shopping pages to Ventnor, helpfully.


One day sale! 50% off of all Sissyls!


One year Ventnor mistook Sissyl for a metal Christmas tree and tried to hang lights and ornaments on her. Sissyl was not amused...


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Molten Dragon once ate a Christmas Tree . . . and the Aurora Borealis was born.


KahnyaGnorc is the world's only composer of Odinist carols. 'Ragnar the Red-Bearded Sleipnir' was his big hit.


Pulg is in fact a disciple of Krampus.

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